Stephanie Harrison: The Old Model of Happiness Is Dead, Design a Business That Fuels Your Joy | E317

0:00:01 Today’s episode is sponsored in part
0:00:03 by Teachable, Fundrise, Mint Mobile,
0:00:06 Working Genius, Indeed, and Shopify.
0:00:08 Teachable makes it easy for creators
0:00:10 to monetize their content with full control.
0:00:13 Head to teachable.com and use code profiting
0:00:16 to claim your free month on their pro-paid plan.
0:00:17 Grow your real estate investments in minutes
0:00:19 with the Fundrise flagship fund.
0:00:22 Add the Fundrise flagship fund to your portfolio
0:00:26 with as little as $10 at fundrise.com/profiting.
0:00:29 Save big on wireless with Mint Mobile.
0:00:31 Get your new three-month premium wireless plan
0:00:35 for just 15 bucks a month at mintmobile.com/profiting.
0:00:36 Unlock your team’s potential
0:00:39 and boost productivity with Working Genius.
0:00:42 Get 20% off the $25 Working Genius assessment
0:00:46 at workinggenius.com with code profiting at checkout.
0:00:49 Attract interview and hire all in one place with Indeed.
0:00:51 Get a $75 sponsored job credit
0:00:55 at indeed.com/profiting terms and conditions apply.
0:00:57 Shopify is the global commerce platform
0:00:59 that helps you grow your business.
0:01:01 Sign up for a $1 per month trial period
0:01:04 at Shopify.com/profiting.
0:01:06 As always, you can find all of our incredible deals
0:01:07 in the show notes.
0:01:10 What is the old model of happiness?
0:01:12 – It’s this cultural understanding of happiness
0:01:15 that, oh, if I can just create this perfect dream life,
0:01:17 then I will finally be happy.
0:01:20 40% of people say that they’re incredibly lonely
0:01:22 and have no one to confide in.
0:01:24 The most effective strategy that people can use
0:01:26 when they’re lonely is not everything in life
0:01:29 but it has to be optimized for our productivity.
0:01:30 You’re more than just your business.
0:01:33 You’re more than just your performance or your achievements.
0:01:36 – What is the most important factor that you would say
0:01:39 for long-term happiness?
0:01:40 – After 10 years of research,
0:01:42 I’ve basically been able to boil it down
0:01:44 that true happiness comes from,
0:01:45 and the more that we can do that,
0:01:47 the happier we can all become.
0:01:58 (gentle music)
0:02:08 – Yeah, BAM, have you ever wondered
0:02:10 if your quest for success, money,
0:02:12 and achievement as an entrepreneur,
0:02:15 the pursuit of happiness in building your business
0:02:17 was actually the root of everything
0:02:18 that was making you unhappy?
0:02:20 Well, my guest today, Stephanie Harrison,
0:02:23 seems to think so, and she’s challenging the way
0:02:25 that many of us, especially entrepreneurs,
0:02:28 have been conditioned to think about our happiness.
0:02:29 Stephanie is a writer, designer,
0:02:31 and an expert in the science of happiness.
0:02:34 She holds a master’s degree in positive psychology
0:02:37 and has devoted her life to the study of wellbeing
0:02:39 through her company, New Happy,
0:02:41 which includes a newsletter, a podcast,
0:02:43 and her brand new book, New Happy,
0:02:46 getting happiness right in a world that’s got it wrong.
0:02:48 In this episode, we’re gonna break down
0:02:51 the old model of happy versus the new model of happy.
0:02:54 Stephanie’s gonna uncover some of the lies
0:02:56 that society has told us about happiness
0:02:58 and how we as entrepreneurs
0:03:01 can live the most happy life possible
0:03:05 by changing our goals from being extrinsic to intrinsic.
0:03:07 Without further delay, here’s my conversation
0:03:09 with Stephanie Harrison.
0:03:12 Stephanie, welcome to Young and Profiting Podcast.
0:03:13 – Thank you so much for having me.
0:03:15 I’m thrilled to be here with you.
0:03:18 – Likewise, and so we’ve talked a lot
0:03:20 about happiness on the podcast,
0:03:22 and when I talk to people about happiness,
0:03:27 I feel like they know what happiness is really all about.
0:03:29 If I say, what is your secret to profiting in life?
0:03:32 I ask that at the end of every show.
0:03:33 And really, that’s me asking,
0:03:35 what do you think the secret of happiness is?
0:03:37 And everyone always says relationships,
0:03:40 connection, service.
0:03:43 And so we all kind of know the answer to happiness,
0:03:47 but our actions are still trying to make more money,
0:03:49 work harder, get achievements.
0:03:51 So I wanna start off with this paradox.
0:03:55 Why do we not do the things that we know
0:03:57 are gonna make us happy?
0:04:00 – This is the heart of all of the work I do.
0:04:02 So you just nailed it with this description.
0:04:07 Honestly, it’s because we live in a culture and a society
0:04:11 that tells us to do certain things to become happy.
0:04:12 And as you said so beautifully,
0:04:15 even though it doesn’t align with our own experience
0:04:16 and our inner knowing,
0:04:18 we end up being very much influenced by that
0:04:20 and it ends up driving our actions
0:04:24 to de-prioritize the things that do make us happy
0:04:26 and unfortunately pursue things
0:04:29 that don’t end up contributing to lasting well-being
0:04:30 in the long-term.
0:04:34 – So talk to us about the old model of happiness.
0:04:37 What is the old model of happiness?
0:04:38 – It’s really what you described,
0:04:40 this cultural understanding of happiness
0:04:42 that teaches us that if you wanna be happy,
0:04:44 you need to perfect yourself.
0:04:45 You need to achieve more and more
0:04:47 and consume as much as you can.
0:04:49 And you need to dominate other people
0:04:51 and essentially cut yourself off from them
0:04:53 and be completely independent.
0:04:56 And these messages about happiness,
0:04:59 they like seep into our lives in so many different ways,
0:05:01 whether it’s through our workplaces
0:05:03 or through the institutions that we see
0:05:04 or what we see in the media.
0:05:07 And so it becomes very hard to untangle them
0:05:10 if we don’t have that awareness about what old happy is.
0:05:12 – In your book, it’s called “The New Happy.”
0:05:17 You have a lot of lies that you say society tells us.
0:05:20 So what are some of the lies that you break down
0:05:22 about the old happy in your book?
0:05:25 – The first old happy lie is that you have to be perfect
0:05:27 because you’re not good enough.
0:05:29 And so this pressure that we all feel,
0:05:32 that voice in your head that tells you, I’m not worthy,
0:05:34 there’s something wrong with me, I’m broken,
0:05:36 that we all have,
0:05:38 it really comes from this old happy culture.
0:05:40 And in order to address it,
0:05:42 we think that we have to perfect ourselves
0:05:46 and essentially be almost like a robotic version of ourselves,
0:05:49 you know, somebody who’s always doing everything perfectly
0:05:52 and never makes a mistake and never struggles.
0:05:54 The second lie is really deeply connected to that,
0:05:56 which is that you have to achieve more and more
0:05:59 in order to prove how worthy you are.
0:06:02 And so that becomes a coping mechanism for so many people,
0:06:04 particularly in our culture,
0:06:07 where these things are rewarded and celebrated
0:06:10 and we end up doing things like burning ourselves out,
0:06:13 working ourselves into sickness or ill-being,
0:06:14 neglecting our relationships
0:06:17 and doing all of these things in order to say,
0:06:19 “Oh, I’ll be happy when I get there.”
0:06:22 And the third lie is that we’re separate from other people,
0:06:25 that the actions of another person don’t influence us,
0:06:28 that our culture and systems don’t have an impact upon us
0:06:31 and that we can basically do everything alone.
0:06:35 And I think all of us, as an entrepreneur myself,
0:06:38 as somebody who has worked in a number of different environments
0:06:42 who has relationships with people who matter to me,
0:06:44 I can pretty clearly acknowledge
0:06:46 that I’m not able to do any of that by myself,
0:06:49 even if I do some of those things independently,
0:06:51 I’m still drawing upon support and resources
0:06:55 and lessons and wisdom from other people at all those times.
0:06:56 And so that’s the third lie.
0:06:59 – I can’t wait to unpack all of that.
0:07:02 But first I wanna hear about your personal story,
0:07:03 because like you were just saying,
0:07:06 these old models of happiness,
0:07:07 these lies that we’ve been told,
0:07:10 they’re actually the root of our unhappiness, right?
0:07:13 So working harder and harder,
0:07:15 always trying to like wait to be happy,
0:07:17 always waiting for the next thing
0:07:18 that’s gonna bring us our happiness.
0:07:22 All these things are the root of our unhappiness.
0:07:25 And you were unhappy in your early 20s.
0:07:27 You found yourself living in New York,
0:07:30 having a great job, having a great apartment,
0:07:31 but then you were still so unhappy.
0:07:34 So talk to us about what was going on for you
0:07:35 at that period of time.
0:07:39 – Yeah, I fell hook, line and sinker for old happy.
0:07:43 So I often say that the reason why I can write
0:07:45 and talk about it is because I know it so well,
0:07:47 it affected me so much.
0:07:49 And I believe that, oh,
0:07:52 if I can just create this perfect dream life for myself,
0:07:54 then I will finally be happy.
0:07:55 But in order to do that,
0:07:58 I had to disconnect myself from others.
0:08:00 I had to try and be perfect all the time.
0:08:02 And it was just exhausting.
0:08:06 And I ended up being very lonely, very depressed,
0:08:07 struggling with my physical health,
0:08:09 struggling with my emotional well-being,
0:08:12 with basically everything that you could think of
0:08:13 because I was living in this way
0:08:15 that was so deeply out of alignment
0:08:17 with the true sources of well-being.
0:08:18 And eventually one day,
0:08:21 I found myself having a breakdown,
0:08:23 lying on my bedroom floor, crying
0:08:26 and realizing that maybe it wasn’t
0:08:28 that I wasn’t trying hard enough
0:08:30 or I wasn’t doing enough.
0:08:34 It was that I was doing things in the wrong way.
0:08:36 And that’s ultimately what led me to wanna go
0:08:38 and study the psychology of happiness
0:08:40 and try to figure out a better pathway.
0:08:42 – So tell us about that journey.
0:08:44 What did you do in that moment where you’re like,
0:08:48 all right, I’m in a corporate, I’m not happy.
0:08:49 What did you go seek out?
0:08:50 What learnings did you seek out?
0:08:51 What did you go do?
0:08:52 – It was a long journey.
0:08:55 I often think that sometimes from the outside,
0:08:58 these experiences that people have
0:09:00 to follow their purpose or their calling,
0:09:02 they look very simple from the outside,
0:09:04 but my experience is that it was very
0:09:06 two steps forward, one step back.
0:09:10 So I was living in New York, I was on a work visa,
0:09:11 so I wasn’t able to leave my job.
0:09:14 And I essentially thought, what are my options here
0:09:16 to try and make one small step
0:09:18 to move a little bit closer to a better life?
0:09:20 And so I realized that I could move
0:09:22 and I ultimately ended up having my company
0:09:24 move me out to California,
0:09:26 where I thought I would be able to have
0:09:27 a little bit of a different lifestyle
0:09:30 and cultivate some of these new things
0:09:32 that were coming into my life.
0:09:34 And then eventually I was recruited to go work
0:09:36 at another company in the tech space
0:09:38 where there was a great work-like balance
0:09:41 and culture, it was a very supportive place to work.
0:09:44 And while I was there, I also was able to go
0:09:45 and pursue my graduate studies
0:09:48 in positive psychology at the same time.
0:09:50 So working full-time while studying
0:09:52 and then while I was in grad school,
0:09:55 that’s when I wrote the beginnings of this philosophy
0:09:59 as my graduate thesis, arguing many of these same things.
0:10:03 And after I graduated, I had no idea what to do with it
0:10:06 or how to use it or put it into practice
0:10:06 or start a business.
0:10:09 And I ended up going to work for Ariana Huffington
0:10:12 at Thrive Global, where I was responsible for building out
0:10:15 and running the learning programs of her company.
0:10:17 So I was able to take a lot of these learnings
0:10:19 and apply them in an organization.
0:10:21 But eventually I decided I wanted to run my own thing.
0:10:24 And so I left in 2020 to do that.
0:10:26 – And so I know that as an adult,
0:10:28 you had sort of a second turning point
0:10:32 when your partner was bedbound and got very sick.
0:10:34 And then you turned to a caregiver suddenly
0:10:36 and you’re so young.
0:10:38 So usually this is something that happens
0:10:41 to us a little bit older in life.
0:10:44 A lot of our listeners, we might be caring for a parent,
0:10:46 but certainly usually it’s a little unusual
0:10:49 to care for your partner at this age.
0:10:52 So talk to us about some of the feelings that you got
0:10:56 and how that helped shape your perspective of happiness
0:10:58 or at least use the tools that you had learned.
0:11:00 – After I graduated from school,
0:11:04 I had all these new tools and insights about happiness.
0:11:06 And when Alex, my partner got sick,
0:11:09 I realized that I had this opportunity
0:11:10 to try and put them into practice
0:11:12 even in this very difficult time.
0:11:15 And so I was 28 when he fell ill
0:11:20 and we spent many, many years trying to navigate his illness
0:11:22 and the medical system and all the challenges
0:11:24 that having a rare disease has.
0:11:29 And so much of what I talk about in my work
0:11:31 is this idea about true happiness coming
0:11:35 from being who you are and using it to help other people.
0:11:37 And through showing up for Alex
0:11:41 and being able to practice how I could be there for him,
0:11:45 I was actually in fact able to tap into a level of wellbeing
0:11:46 that I never imagined
0:11:48 and that’s certainly not generally associated
0:11:49 with being a caregiver
0:11:52 and all the stresses that are associated with that.
0:11:56 And I realized that the more that I gave,
0:12:00 whether it was to him or to the work I was doing
0:12:02 with my company by that time,
0:12:05 that the more joy I was able to experience
0:12:09 even though I was objectively also really suffering
0:12:10 at the same time.
0:12:13 And that kind of duality of that experience
0:12:14 of going through something
0:12:16 that was tremendously difficult and prolonged
0:12:21 while also realizing the fulfillment of love
0:12:23 and purpose and community,
0:12:25 it really gave me an appreciation
0:12:27 on a whole other level for these concepts
0:12:30 and hopefully gives people some level of trust
0:12:33 in that I’m not trying to tell you to do something
0:12:34 that I wouldn’t do myself.
0:12:36 It’s something that I have witnessed
0:12:37 profoundly changed my life
0:12:40 in ways I never would have imagined.
0:12:42 – Let’s zoom out for a bit
0:12:44 and get the broader picture here.
0:12:49 Why is unhappiness such a problem in America?
0:12:52 – How long do you have?
0:12:56 I think that the latest statistics show
0:12:58 that one in two Americans
0:13:00 will experience difficulties with their mental health
0:13:01 in their lifetime.
0:13:05 25% of people in the country are suffering right now.
0:13:08 40% of people say that they’re incredibly lonely
0:13:10 and have no one to confide in.
0:13:12 We witness the manifestations of this every day
0:13:16 through seeing the division in the country
0:13:19 through the lack of community support that people have
0:13:21 through all of these different manifestations.
0:13:24 And I really think it comes down to
0:13:27 the way that we conceptualize and understand happiness
0:13:29 because if we think fundamentally
0:13:31 that our happiness can only be fulfilled
0:13:35 by achieving and perfecting and dominating,
0:13:37 then we’re going to go out and do those things
0:13:38 without realizing that they’re hurting people
0:13:41 and contributing to the problems in our world.
0:13:44 And so in the US, many of these forces
0:13:47 that lead to old happy are very, very strong
0:13:49 like individualism, for example.
0:13:54 And that ends up making it sort of a perfect breeding ground
0:13:55 for a lot of these beliefs
0:13:58 and makes it even harder for us to unwind them here.
0:14:00 I hate to break it to all the entrepreneurs listening,
0:14:03 but it’s even worse for us entrepreneurs.
0:14:07 I had a webinar that I did with BetterHelp
0:14:08 about three months ago,
0:14:09 and I ended up doing a lot of research
0:14:11 about entrepreneurs and mental health.
0:14:14 And I found that 49% of entrepreneurs
0:14:17 say they have a mental health condition.
0:14:20 Three times more likely to have depression.
0:14:22 Three times more likely to have addiction.
0:14:25 Like 12 times more likely to have ADHD
0:14:27 and all these other problems.
0:14:29 And the reason why we have so many mental health issues
0:14:31 like depression and anxiety
0:14:34 is because it’s very uncertain to be an entrepreneur.
0:14:36 There’s a lot of pressure from stakeholders,
0:14:38 from our employees, from our clients.
0:14:42 There’s a lot of issues also with tying our self-worth
0:14:43 to the success of our companies,
0:14:45 which I know I’m going to definitely
0:14:46 pick your brain about that.
0:14:48 So there’s lots of things that make it
0:14:50 especially hard for entrepreneurs.
0:14:52 And I think the root of it all
0:14:55 is that entrepreneurs are capitalists.
0:14:59 And capitalism is not very good for happiness.
0:15:01 So talk to us about capitalism
0:15:06 and how that’s not that conducive for happiness.
0:15:08 – It’s so tricky, isn’t it?
0:15:11 I argue that capitalism is one of these driving forces
0:15:14 of old happy because no matter what we do,
0:15:15 it’s never enough, right?
0:15:16 Because in a capitalist society,
0:15:18 in a world with intense competition
0:15:21 where there are so many entrants into the marketplace,
0:15:25 where there’s always something more that you need to do,
0:15:28 you really have to push yourself more and more and more.
0:15:31 And it’s almost like there’s never a ceiling to what’s enough.
0:15:34 I’ve witnessed this in my own journey,
0:15:36 feeling like, oh, I just need to work a little bit harder
0:15:37 or push a little bit more,
0:15:41 and then I’ll be able to experience the success that I want
0:15:42 because that’ll make me happy.
0:15:45 And this pressure, this hamster wheel
0:15:46 that capitalism puts us on
0:15:50 without offering broader solutions that support people
0:15:54 as they go through difficult times or setbacks or challenges
0:15:56 really ends up doing a number on our mental health
0:15:59 as those statistics so beautifully illustrate
0:16:01 and devastatingly show.
0:16:04 And I think that we really have to be mindful
0:16:06 of reckoning with the fact that, yes,
0:16:08 we want to build businesses
0:16:10 or achieve certain goals or outcomes,
0:16:13 but how are we doing this in a way that’s sustainable
0:16:16 and good for all of us in order to experience well-being,
0:16:18 which is ultimately at the end of the day what we want
0:16:19 and why we’re working to do that business
0:16:22 ’cause we think it’ll help us to be happy in the future.
0:16:25 – I can’t wait to understand how we as entrepreneurs
0:16:28 can do what we love and make money
0:16:30 and produce what we’re producing
0:16:33 while also feeling fulfilled and happy.
0:16:35 So you’ve got this new philosophy
0:16:37 that you call the new happy.
0:16:40 Can you break that down for us?
0:16:41 – Yeah, it’s really simple.
0:16:42 After 10 years of research,
0:16:44 I’ve basically been able to boil it down
0:16:48 that true happiness comes from being who you are
0:16:50 and then using it to help other people.
0:16:51 And so this can be very translated
0:16:53 to running your own business, of course.
0:16:55 You can think about all of the unique skills that you have,
0:16:57 the ideas that you possess,
0:16:59 the gifts of character and wisdom
0:17:01 and all of these beautiful things that are within you
0:17:03 and then find a way to express them
0:17:04 through the work that you do.
0:17:07 And the more that we can do that in craft environments
0:17:10 where people are able to tap into those two experiences,
0:17:12 the happier we can all become.
0:17:15 – So be who you are and then help other people.
0:17:16 – Exactly.
0:17:19 – So how do we find out who we are?
0:17:21 – Such a great question.
0:17:24 I mean, it’s the work of a lifetime, obviously, of course,
0:17:25 right, because we’re always changing
0:17:27 and we’re always interacting with the world
0:17:29 and it’s affecting us in these different ways.
0:17:33 But I think that usually what I like to advise
0:17:35 is inviting people to think about who they are
0:17:38 from a lens of strength rather than weakness.
0:17:40 Again, which is what we learn
0:17:42 in old happy, capitalist, individualistic culture.
0:17:44 When you think about your self-awareness,
0:17:46 it’s all about the problems that you have
0:17:48 and the things that you’re lacking.
0:17:50 But if instead you think about it from a lens
0:17:51 of what am I good at?
0:17:53 What are the things that make me feel joy?
0:17:55 What makes me feel alive?
0:17:59 Or like I’m able to express myself in a specific way
0:18:01 and you start making a list of all of those unique gifts.
0:18:05 Then you can start to become a fuller understanding
0:18:06 of who you are as a person
0:18:09 and then figure out how you wanna express that outward
0:18:10 in different ways.
0:18:13 – I know one of the things that you talk about in your book
0:18:16 is how it’s dangerous to identify yourself
0:18:18 with your talents and your skills.
0:18:21 To say like, I’m an electrician, that’s who I am.
0:18:23 I’m a podcaster.
0:18:25 Why is that so dangerous to do?
0:18:27 – What happens if you lose your job
0:18:29 or electricians are no longer needed
0:18:31 or all of the technology goes away
0:18:33 and you’re no longer able to keep up with it
0:18:34 for whatever reason, right?
0:18:37 It’s putting all of your self-worth eggs
0:18:38 in one basket, so to speak.
0:18:41 And so when I think about myself,
0:18:45 even though I feel very proud of,
0:18:47 for example, the work I’ve done,
0:18:49 I try to remember that that work
0:18:52 is just an expression of me rather than me itself.
0:18:56 And that means that if a piece of work is not well received,
0:18:59 it doesn’t mean that I’m not well received.
0:19:01 It just means that that specific outcome
0:19:05 or that output that I did was not where I wanted it to be.
0:19:08 And it’s that mindset that helps us to bounce back.
0:19:10 And of course, as entrepreneurs,
0:19:12 life is just full of setbacks and bouncebacks, right?
0:19:14 We have to navigate that all the time.
0:19:17 And so anything to my mind that helps us
0:19:20 to look at these setbacks that occur on a daily basis
0:19:21 and say, hey, this isn’t me
0:19:24 and let me figure out a healthier way to respond
0:19:26 is a really helpful tool and technique.
0:19:28 – Yeah, and especially for entrepreneurs
0:19:31 because we’re often equating our happiness
0:19:33 with the success of our company
0:19:35 or the value of our company,
0:19:37 what are some ways that we can get out
0:19:40 of those types of thought processes?
0:19:43 – One tool that can be a little bit difficult
0:19:45 to put into practice, of course,
0:19:47 because sometimes as an entrepreneur,
0:19:51 your business can become very all consuming in many ways.
0:19:53 And that’s why it’s so important
0:19:55 is to expand your life a little bit.
0:19:58 And so if you have a hobby you’ve been neglecting
0:20:00 or a sport that you used to do
0:20:02 or a specific thing that you do with your kids
0:20:04 or whoever, your friends,
0:20:06 anything that you can do to prioritize that in your life
0:20:09 helps you to remember that you’re more than just your business,
0:20:12 you’re more than just your performance or your achievements.
0:20:15 And then I also like to recommend that
0:20:18 no matter how good you do that day at work,
0:20:21 no matter how poorly you perceive yourself doing,
0:20:24 you can still celebrate yourself every single day
0:20:25 for showing up.
0:20:28 And that encouragement that we give ourselves,
0:20:30 it doesn’t make you soft or weak.
0:20:32 It doesn’t decrease your motivation.
0:20:35 It doesn’t backfire in helping you to achieve your goals.
0:20:37 That kindness to yourself
0:20:39 has actually been shown in multiple studies
0:20:41 to make you even more determined
0:20:44 and even more persistent as you work towards your goals.
0:20:46 And so simply every day just saying,
0:20:48 “I did what I did today, that was enough.
0:20:50 I’m proud of myself for this.”
0:20:54 And really taking 30 seconds to savor your accomplishments,
0:20:56 that’ll really help you to show up again tomorrow
0:20:58 with that same determination
0:21:00 that you hope to bring to this project
0:21:02 or to this task or to your business.
0:21:03 – Let’s hold that thought
0:21:05 and take a quick break with our sponsors.
0:21:09 Hey, yeah, bam, launching my LinkedIn Secrets Masterclass
0:21:12 was one of the best things I’ve ever done for my business.
0:21:14 And I didn’t have to figure out all the nuts and bolts
0:21:17 of creating a website for my course.
0:21:18 I needed a lot of different features.
0:21:20 I needed chat capabilities
0:21:22 in case anybody had questions.
0:21:24 I needed promo code discounts.
0:21:27 I needed a laundry list of features
0:21:30 to enable what I was envisioning with my course.
0:21:31 But here’s the thing,
0:21:34 all I had to do was literally lift a finger
0:21:35 to get it all done.
0:21:38 And that’s because I used Shopify.
0:21:44 Shopify is the easiest way to sell anything,
0:21:46 to sell online or in person.
0:21:49 It’s the home of the number one checkout on the planet.
0:21:51 And Shopify is not so secret secret as Shoppay,
0:21:54 which boosts conversions up to 50%.
0:21:56 That means way fewer cards get abandoned
0:21:58 and way more sales get done.
0:22:02 So when students tell me that they can’t afford my course,
0:22:05 I let them know about payment plans with Shoppay.
0:22:07 It is a game changer.
0:22:08 If you’re into growing your business,
0:22:11 your commerce platform better be ready to sell
0:22:14 wherever your customers are scrolling or strolling
0:22:16 on the web, in your store, in their feed
0:22:18 and everywhere in between.
0:22:22 But simply businesses that sell more sell with Shopify.
0:22:24 Upgrade your business and get the same checkout
0:22:26 we use at YAP Media with Shopify.
0:22:29 Sign up for your $1 per month trial period
0:22:33 at Shopify.com/profiting, and that’s all lowercase.
0:22:37 Go to Shopify.com/profiting to upgrade your selling today.
0:22:40 That’s Shopify.com/profiting.
0:22:45 Young and Profiters, buy low, sell high.
0:22:47 It’s easy to say, but it’s hard to do.
0:22:48 For example, high interest rates
0:22:51 are crushing the real estate market right now.
0:22:53 Demand is dropping and prices are falling,
0:22:55 even for many of the best assets.
0:22:57 It’s no wonder the Fundrise flagship fund
0:22:59 plans to go on a buying spree,
0:23:02 expanding its billion dollar real estate portfolio
0:23:03 over the next few months.
0:23:06 You can add the Fundrise flagship fund to your portfolio
0:23:09 in just minutes with as little as $10
0:23:12 by visiting fundrise.com/profiting.
0:23:17 That’s F-U-N-D-R-I-S-E.com/profiting.
0:23:19 Again, you can diversify your portfolio
0:23:21 with the Fundrise flagship fund
0:23:26 at fundrise.com/profiting, that’s F-U-N-D-R-I-S-E.com/profiting.
0:23:30 Carefully consider the investment objectives, risks,
0:23:33 charges, and expenses of the Fundrise flagship fund
0:23:34 before investing.
0:23:36 This and other information can be found
0:23:40 in the fund’s prospectus at fundrise.com/flagship.
0:23:42 This is a paid advertisement.
0:23:45 Young and Profiters, I spent years slaving away
0:23:48 in so many different jobs trying to prove myself,
0:23:50 trying to figure out what gave me joy at work,
0:23:53 and trying to build productive teams.
0:23:55 Eventually, I figured it all out.
0:23:57 But what if you could learn that stuff about yourself
0:24:00 and your team in a fraction of the time that I did?
0:24:03 The working genius model will transform your work,
0:24:07 your team, and your life by leveraging your natural gifts.
0:24:11 We each possess a unique set of skills, and let’s face it,
0:24:13 you’re gonna be more fulfilled and successful
0:24:15 when you lean into, rather than away from,
0:24:17 your natural true talents.
0:24:20 Working genius can help you discover how to increase joy
0:24:22 and energy at work by understanding
0:24:25 what your working geniuses really are.
0:24:28 The working genius assessment only takes 10 minutes,
0:24:30 and the results can be applied immediately.
0:24:33 I took the assessment, and my two primary working geniuses
0:24:35 are inventing and galvanizing.
0:24:37 I just love creating new things
0:24:40 and then rallying people together to bring them to life.
0:24:42 That’s why I’ve been starting businesses
0:24:44 and growing teams for years.
0:24:47 Your own working genius may be completely different.
0:24:48 The working genius assessment
0:24:52 is not just a personality test, it’s a productivity tool.
0:24:55 It can help you identify your own individual talents
0:24:58 and provide a great roadmap for creating productive
0:25:00 and satisfied teams.
0:25:01 You and your team will get more done
0:25:04 in less time with more joy and energy.
0:25:08 To get 20% off the $25 working genius assessment,
0:25:10 go to WorkingGenius.com and enter
0:25:12 the promo code “PROFITING” at checkout.
0:25:15 That’s right, you can get 20% off the $25
0:25:18 working genius assessment at WorkingGenius.com
0:25:21 using promo code “PROFITING”.
0:25:28 So I’ve been an entrepreneur for five, six years now.
0:25:30 I have an incredible company on track
0:25:34 to make $10 million this year.
0:25:36 Everything’s going great, but I remember
0:25:38 when I was first starting,
0:25:40 every setback just felt so heavy.
0:25:43 If a client left, I felt so bad
0:25:45 and everything was such a big deal.
0:25:47 And I want to tell everybody out there
0:25:50 who’s just starting their business that it gets better.
0:25:53 Now, if somebody leaves or if somebody’s unhappy,
0:25:57 I’m like, all right, well, I have 50 clients who are happy.
0:25:59 So you can’t make everyone happy
0:26:01 or this person’s dealing with their own issues.
0:26:04 Everything just gets a little bit easier to handle
0:26:08 as you get more achievements in your business,
0:26:10 things become less of a deal.
0:26:12 And I just want to put that thought out there
0:26:16 for everyone is that as you get more wins,
0:26:19 when you do get the setbacks, they don’t feel as heavy
0:26:22 because you’re just like, that’s life ups and downs
0:26:24 and you can’t control everything.
0:26:27 – So wise, I think that’s such beautiful advice.
0:26:28 I wish that you have been around
0:26:31 to tell me that when I was just getting started,
0:26:33 honestly, because it’s so true, right?
0:26:36 It’s sort of like building up like a bench of strength, right?
0:26:39 Like, you know that, hey, I’ve been through this before
0:26:40 and I’ve navigated it
0:26:42 or I have all these other things I can lean on
0:26:44 and resources I can draw upon
0:26:46 and that makes you more resilient
0:26:49 and that resilience is what then carries you through.
0:26:53 And like one of the things that I’ve experienced in my work
0:26:56 has been the fear of making mistakes,
0:27:00 being so difficult to reconcile with the need to take risks
0:27:02 and to try new things as an entrepreneur.
0:27:06 And the more that I tried to simply show up
0:27:09 for that fear of making mistakes and being kind to myself
0:27:11 and realizing that no matter how bad it is,
0:27:13 I’ll figure it out because I figured everything else out
0:27:15 before in the past.
0:27:16 That then made it so much easier
0:27:18 than to take these bold steps
0:27:20 or do things that really scared me.
0:27:22 And so it’s sometimes like you described,
0:27:23 it’s a little bit paradoxical.
0:27:26 You really wanna focus on those strengths
0:27:29 in order to help you burnish your weaknesses in those ways.
0:27:31 – Totally agree with that.
0:27:35 Let’s talk about intrinsic versus extrinsic goals.
0:27:38 Can you tell us about the difference between the two
0:27:40 and how they impact happiness?
0:27:41 – We all have goals for our life, right?
0:27:43 And goals are a wonderful thing.
0:27:47 Psychologists argue that we are very future motivated.
0:27:50 So we are driven by a vision of ourselves
0:27:51 and our lives in the future.
0:27:53 And if you think about the times in your life
0:27:56 where you were the most motivated,
0:27:59 you probably had a really clear mental picture
0:28:01 of what you wanted or what you were working for.
0:28:04 And it doesn’t actually matter as much for your motivation,
0:28:06 how successful you are at working towards it.
0:28:09 It’s just that you’re making some progress.
0:28:12 ‘Cause that’s a really great little hack for motivation.
0:28:16 So all of these goals can be divided into two categories.
0:28:20 Extrinsic goals are goals that are imposed upon you
0:28:21 by old happy culture.
0:28:23 So they say, if you wanna be happy,
0:28:25 you need to make X amount of money.
0:28:26 You need to get this promotion.
0:28:28 You need to become famous.
0:28:31 You need to do A, B and C, and then you will be happy.
0:28:34 And so the easy way to pick up on those
0:28:37 is if you’re saying to yourself, I’ll be happy when,
0:28:40 that’s usually a sign that it’s an extrinsic goal.
0:28:42 Intrinsic goals, on the other hand,
0:28:44 they come from within you.
0:28:45 They’re probably a little quieter.
0:28:47 They’re much more authentic.
0:28:49 They’re aligned with your true nature
0:28:51 and they tend to be things like,
0:28:52 I wanna make a difference in the world.
0:28:53 I wanna help people.
0:28:55 I wanna support my community.
0:28:56 I wanna be there for my family.
0:28:58 I wanna invest in my relationships.
0:28:59 I wanna grow as a person.
0:29:02 And these intrinsic goals are significantly more likely
0:29:05 to make you a happy person and to make a difference
0:29:07 in the lives of those around you.
0:29:11 – So the extrinsic goals to me are like dopamine hits, right?
0:29:14 Like, oh my gosh, I went viral.
0:29:16 Or, oh, I made a sale.
0:29:18 Oh, I got a new client.
0:29:22 How do we balance these short-term dopamine hits
0:29:25 that we crave so much with the long-term importance
0:29:28 of having intrinsic goals?
0:29:31 – It’s fine to enjoy those moments when they happen, right?
0:29:34 It’s great to celebrate when something goes well
0:29:37 and when you’re able to make an experience
0:29:39 or an impact or a sale or whatever it is.
0:29:43 The problem lies with staking or happiness on them.
0:29:45 And then the things that we do in order to do that
0:29:47 tend to backfire and make us miserable.
0:29:50 And so if you’re finding yourself, again,
0:29:52 the hamster wheel is kind of a good analogy here
0:29:54 because if you’re always chasing something
0:29:57 and you’re waiting for the next thing to sort of hit
0:29:59 in order to feel good about yourself,
0:30:02 that’s a sign that you might want to refocus more
0:30:03 on an intrinsic goal.
0:30:08 And it’s gonna be a little bit of a slower burn of happiness,
0:30:11 but it’s also gonna last for much longer.
0:30:13 So if these short-term extrinsic goals
0:30:16 are like little hits of really highs
0:30:18 and then really, really low lows,
0:30:20 intrinsic goals are more like the slope of climbing a mountain
0:30:22 where it takes a little bit longer
0:30:24 to gain the same elevation.
0:30:26 But you keep going and the happiness keeps building
0:30:29 and you end up feeling that great sense of accomplishment.
0:30:31 And so the more that you can in those moments
0:30:34 where you’re like, oh, I’ve been hooked on an extrinsic goal,
0:30:37 refocus on something that really does matter to you
0:30:39 and that comes from within you.
0:30:41 – Can you still have an intrinsic goal
0:30:42 related to your business?
0:30:44 Like if I was saying, oh, I wanna help
0:30:48 a million entrepreneurs succeed in their business,
0:30:51 is that an intrinsic goal or an extrinsic goal?
0:30:53 – It can absolutely be an intrinsic goal.
0:30:55 It just depends on where it comes from.
0:30:58 So for example, if I was asking you about it,
0:31:00 I would say, well, did somebody tell you
0:31:02 that you have to help a million people
0:31:04 in order to be successful?
0:31:07 Or did you see somebody else who posted about that
0:31:09 and therefore you’re using that as your benchmark?
0:31:12 Is it something that’s realistic
0:31:13 in terms of the scope of your business
0:31:15 and the reach that you have?
0:31:19 Is it something where that number is really exciting for you
0:31:21 because it represents the possibility
0:31:23 of all of the goodness that you could create?
0:31:25 Those types of questions can help you to tease it out,
0:31:28 but of course, any goal that you have
0:31:30 that comes from within in that way,
0:31:31 no matter what domain it’s in,
0:31:33 can be intrinsically motivated.
0:31:36 – And what is the psychological and emotional risks
0:31:41 of tying your goals to be extrinsic instead of intrinsic?
0:31:44 – Essentially, things like depression, anxiety,
0:31:47 lack of self-worth, difficulty with resilience.
0:31:49 The most ironic thing I think,
0:31:51 the finding that most surprised me
0:31:53 and really opened my eyes to this
0:31:58 was learning that people who pursue extrinsic goals
0:32:01 are much more likely to give up.
0:32:04 They’re much more likely to have a hard time pursuing them.
0:32:06 And it makes sense when you really break it down
0:32:10 because you don’t have that real motivation driving you.
0:32:11 You’re doing it to get approval
0:32:14 or to please somebody or to try and convey
0:32:18 a certain level of image or whatever it is.
0:32:21 So you don’t have that real inner motivation.
0:32:23 And I think that that inner motivation
0:32:25 is the most powerful thing in the world.
0:32:28 We’ve seen what people can do when they are really motivated.
0:32:31 They do crazy, wild, amazing things, right?
0:32:35 They build incredible businesses and they climb mountains
0:32:37 and they swim across oceans
0:32:38 and they do all of these different things
0:32:40 ’cause they genuinely want to.
0:32:43 And so I always want to tell people,
0:32:46 don’t chase an extrinsic motivation
0:32:48 that doesn’t belong to you.
0:32:50 Find the one that exists within you
0:32:53 because it is so much stronger than anything out there.
0:32:56 And by doing so, you will be able to get all of the things
0:32:58 that you’re looking for, happiness, well-being,
0:33:00 mental health, a sense of accomplishment,
0:33:03 the satisfaction of your needs and the people in your life.
0:33:05 All of those things are fulfilled
0:33:08 if we discover that intrinsic motivation within us.
0:33:12 – And I think a big part of that is actually asking ourselves
0:33:16 the right questions and journaling and doing the work.
0:33:20 So how do you suggest that we start to think about,
0:33:23 okay, am I being motivated right now by extrinsic goals
0:33:27 and that’s why I feel depressed, anxious, stressed out?
0:33:30 How do we start to clear our head
0:33:34 and start to think more in terms of intrinsic goals?
0:33:37 – I generally recommend starting with just taking an audit
0:33:38 of what you’re doing.
0:33:40 What are you spending your time on right now?
0:33:43 Because as we talked about, we’re all driven by goals,
0:33:45 even if we don’t have a conscious awareness of them.
0:33:48 And so grabbing a piece of paper, journaling about,
0:33:51 hey, what am I spending my time on these days?
0:33:53 And you might write down a bunch of things.
0:33:55 You might say, oh, I’m trying to please my boss
0:33:57 by doing well on this project.
0:33:59 I really want to run a marathon this year.
0:34:03 I’m really nervous about a fight I’m having with my sister.
0:34:05 You just write down everything that’s on your mind
0:34:07 that you’re trying to figure out or solve
0:34:09 and then just go through and mark down any of them
0:34:11 that seem like they’re extrinsic
0:34:14 and see if you can drop them,
0:34:16 let go of them, change them in some way
0:34:18 or find something to replace them.
0:34:19 And the more that we do that,
0:34:21 the more that we can really orient our lives
0:34:24 around the things that matter most to us.
0:34:25 – Love that advice.
0:34:27 So speaking of exercises,
0:34:28 you have this exercise in your book
0:34:30 that you call one authentic action.
0:34:31 Can you tell us about that
0:34:33 and how we can get started with it?
0:34:35 – When people say to you,
0:34:37 oh, just live an authentic life or whatever,
0:34:39 I always get kind of annoyed because thinking,
0:34:40 what does that mean?
0:34:43 How do we translate that into action?
0:34:46 It feels really vague and really broad.
0:34:50 And so this is an exercise where I encourage people
0:34:52 to just turn inward and ask themselves,
0:34:54 what do I need right now?
0:34:55 Or what do I want to do?
0:34:59 What does my true self want to do in this exact moment?
0:35:01 And then do it, even if it sounds weird,
0:35:03 even if it’s something that you wouldn’t normally do,
0:35:06 or maybe it gets in the way of how productive you are today.
0:35:09 And simply doing that allows you to start moving
0:35:12 in the direction of living an authentic and meaningful life.
0:35:15 Because in fact, what you will be doing is with that action,
0:35:17 you’ll be tapping into something
0:35:19 that’s intrinsically important to you.
0:35:21 So it’s a little bit of a hack.
0:35:23 If you don’t want to go through the whole goal setting audit,
0:35:25 you can just start acting intrinsically
0:35:27 and then seeing where that takes you
0:35:31 and following the path as it’s laid in front of you.
0:35:32 – So literally just think of something
0:35:34 that you want to do and just do it.
0:35:37 – Basically, and I know it sounds so simple,
0:35:40 but it’s actually quite radical in some ways in a world
0:35:43 where we’re often on autopilot,
0:35:45 we’re often doing so many things in order
0:35:49 to please other people or to convey a certain impression.
0:35:51 Simply saying, what do I want right now?
0:35:52 What matters to me?
0:35:54 What would I like to spend the next 10 minutes doing?
0:35:57 That’s all it really takes to get you back on your path.
0:35:59 – Especially if you do something
0:36:00 that the goal is not to make money.
0:36:01 – Yeah, exactly.
0:36:03 – ‘Cause so much of everything that we do
0:36:04 is just to make money.
0:36:06 And maybe you just want to bake a cake
0:36:07 or just do something like that.
0:36:09 – Exactly, yeah, totally.
0:36:11 And it’s okay to make a cake, right?
0:36:14 Maybe you making the cake is the exact thing
0:36:17 that you need to get yourself unstuck on a problem.
0:36:19 Maybe making the cake is just something enjoyable for you
0:36:21 that you can do for yourself
0:36:23 or something you can share with your kid.
0:36:25 Not everything in life has to be optimized
0:36:27 for our productivity and in fact,
0:36:30 doing so ends up backfiring and really hurting us.
0:36:33 – So the next topic that I really want to target with you
0:36:34 is relationships.
0:36:38 You said one of the lies that we have from the old happy
0:36:39 is that we’re not connected.
0:36:41 We’re individualized.
0:36:43 We’re not connected to anyone.
0:36:45 Why is that alive, first of all?
0:36:48 – None of us are formed alone, for example.
0:36:50 So from the very minute that we’re born,
0:36:53 we are cared for in order to survive.
0:36:55 We’re completely reliant upon our caregivers
0:36:56 in order to keep us alive.
0:36:58 Human beings have the longest period
0:37:01 of developmental needs of any species.
0:37:05 And so every interaction that our caregivers have with us
0:37:07 shapes us into the person that we become.
0:37:09 We know that these early years of life
0:37:11 end up forming the neural pathways
0:37:13 that we draw upon as adults.
0:37:15 They shape our attachment style,
0:37:16 which influences every relationship
0:37:18 that we have in our lives.
0:37:20 They teach us how to regulate our emotions
0:37:21 or not regulate our emotions.
0:37:24 And that impacts every moment of every day.
0:37:27 And so at a very basic biological level,
0:37:30 no one is a human being alone.
0:37:34 We require each other in order to be able to develop
0:37:35 and then to function.
0:37:37 And then as we go out into the world,
0:37:40 none of us are able to do anything by ourselves, right?
0:37:43 The only reason you and I are able to have this conversation
0:37:45 is because there are people out there
0:37:48 who have created these tools and platforms
0:37:50 and the internet and the systems that make it possible
0:37:52 for you and I to get on the phone together.
0:37:55 And the more that we start to recognize
0:37:58 our dependence upon one another,
0:38:01 the more we can see that actually this need of each other
0:38:04 isn’t a flaw the way it’s been painted in our world,
0:38:08 where dependence is almost like a bad word in a way.
0:38:12 But dependence on each other is what enables independence.
0:38:15 And then independence then furthers dependence.
0:38:17 And it’s this relationship that I think we really need
0:38:20 to return to in order to recognize
0:38:21 our deep need of each other
0:38:23 and how we can be there for one another
0:38:25 to support each other every day.
0:38:29 – If somebody out there is feeling lonely right now,
0:38:32 how should they think to feel more connected
0:38:35 to the world and to other people?
0:38:37 – Paradoxically, the most effective strategy
0:38:39 that people can use when they’re lonely
0:38:41 is to go out and help somebody else.
0:38:45 Because what happens is when you’re lonely in your brain,
0:38:47 basically it shifts into something
0:38:49 that’s called self-preservation mode,
0:38:51 where it doesn’t wanna connect with people.
0:38:53 And so a lot of the loneliness epidemic
0:38:56 that we’re seeing right now is because
0:38:57 we’re all focused on ourselves
0:38:59 and we’re all really nervous about getting rejected
0:39:01 and worried about how people see us.
0:39:03 And then that makes it really hard to connect.
0:39:05 But when you’re helping somebody,
0:39:07 when you go out with the intention of saying,
0:39:08 let me go out and help Stephanie
0:39:10 with this problem that I know she’s having,
0:39:11 it’s much safer, right?
0:39:13 Most people don’t reject help.
0:39:16 It’s an easy way to start establishing connection.
0:39:19 And so by doing that, you’re able to say,
0:39:20 look, I’m not alone.
0:39:22 In fact, there are people out here who need me.
0:39:25 And while many of us think of loneliness
0:39:29 as not having people to rely upon,
0:39:32 it’s also about you not being able
0:39:33 to be reliable for other people,
0:39:37 you not being useful and needed in your relationships.
0:39:40 I know that my periods of deepest loneliness
0:39:43 came when I wasn’t contributing
0:39:45 and that my loneliness has been alleviated
0:39:47 by showing up more for other people.
0:39:50 And it’s that usefulness and that support
0:39:51 that we can offer people
0:39:53 that paradoxically ends up helping us the most.
0:39:56 – That’s so eye-opening that loneliness
0:39:58 is not only people not being there for you,
0:40:01 it’s you not being there for other people.
0:40:03 And sometimes if you wanna get out of that loneliness,
0:40:06 you have to take the first step.
0:40:07 – And I know it’s hard and scary
0:40:09 and can be really uncomfortable,
0:40:11 but if you can find a way to do it, even anonymously,
0:40:14 like I often counsel people like,
0:40:16 go out and see if you can volunteer at your local food bank,
0:40:19 or if you can do a trash pickup on the beach
0:40:20 or wherever it is that you live,
0:40:24 anything where the stakes feel very low.
0:40:27 Even if that’s too much, which I understand for some people,
0:40:29 like hold the door for somebody at a coffee shop
0:40:31 or pay for the person behind you
0:40:32 as you’re going through the drive-thru, right?
0:40:34 There are all these little ways to give.
0:40:38 And in giving, we realize actually we’re not alone at all,
0:40:40 that other people need us.
0:40:42 And that in turn makes it easier for us to lean on them
0:40:44 for the support that we want.
0:40:45 – Something else that I learned in your book
0:40:48 that I thought was really cool to think about
0:40:50 was the fact that gratitude is so important
0:40:54 and thinking about how other people have helped you before.
0:40:56 So like when you’re feeling upset,
0:40:59 taking a mental note of, you know what?
0:41:01 I’ve gotten so much help in my life
0:41:03 and I’ve had this mentor and this person gave me a job
0:41:05 when I didn’t deserve it
0:41:07 and trying to think about all the good things
0:41:08 that people have done for you.
0:41:09 Can you talk to us about that?
0:41:12 – It’s my little spin on gratitude
0:41:15 because at the heart gratitude is about realizing
0:41:19 that good things happen to you because of other people,
0:41:21 as you so beautifully described.
0:41:24 And this recognition of taking a moment
0:41:27 and thinking about who helped me.
0:41:29 We tend to take those actions for granted.
0:41:31 I can witness it in myself.
0:41:33 I have a much easier time
0:41:35 because of my brain’s negativity bias.
0:41:38 Thinking about the times that I didn’t get help
0:41:40 versus the times that I did get help.
0:41:44 But the times I got help, way, way, way outnumber.
0:41:46 All of the times that I didn’t get it.
0:41:48 And that’s because I’m not looking at it in the right way.
0:41:50 I’m not thinking about, as you said,
0:41:52 the mentor who showed up for me
0:41:54 or the boss who helped me to learn a specific skill
0:41:56 or my friend who checked in on me
0:41:57 when I was having a hard day.
0:41:59 Those are all moments of help.
0:42:01 And if I open my eyes and really appreciate them
0:42:05 and notice them, then all of a sudden, for me at least,
0:42:08 I feel just so filled with love and gratitude and hope.
0:42:10 And that makes me wanna go out
0:42:11 and do more for other people too.
0:42:14 And to help and to contribute to this virtuous cycle
0:42:17 of giving and receiving that we’re all in part of.
0:42:19 – I think one of the best daily practices
0:42:21 that I implemented in my life,
0:42:23 I had Michael Jervis on the show.
0:42:27 And he said he had this like 90 second rule that he has
0:42:29 before he even gets out of bed.
0:42:33 He lays in bed before he even removes the covers
0:42:33 and gets out of bed.
0:42:36 He thinks of three things that he’s grateful for.
0:42:38 And then he visualizes the one thing
0:42:40 he wants to get done today.
0:42:41 Then he gets out of bed.
0:42:43 – I love that, that’s beautiful.
0:42:45 – And so I do that almost every day.
0:42:47 And I think of, it’s usually people.
0:42:50 What I’m grateful for is usually almost always people.
0:42:52 And then I do that in my company too.
0:42:56 Every meeting we start off with, how are you feeling today?
0:42:57 And then what are you grateful for?
0:42:59 What’s your personal high or recognition?
0:43:02 And so, yeah, I feel like it’s so good
0:43:05 to just constantly think about what you’re grateful for.
0:43:06 – It’s so true.
0:43:09 And I love that you’ve embedded that into your business.
0:43:10 That’s so powerful.
0:43:12 And just building on that,
0:43:13 it’s really this little moments, right?
0:43:16 If we can just fit a couple of those little moments
0:43:17 of connectedness into our day
0:43:20 where we realize how lucky we are,
0:43:22 where we tune into ourselves,
0:43:23 where we check in on ourselves,
0:43:26 that’s all we really need is just those little pulse checks.
0:43:28 And so fitting it in before you get out of bed
0:43:30 or in a meeting, those are such beautiful ways
0:43:32 to immerse those little nudges into your life.
0:43:36 – We’ll be right back after a quick break from our sponsors.
0:43:39 Yeah, fam, if you’re anything like me,
0:43:41 you didn’t start your business
0:43:43 to spend all your time managing finances.
0:43:46 Budgeting, invoicing and tax prep,
0:43:49 not exactly the fun part of entrepreneurship.
0:43:53 My CEO, Jason, on the other hand, is great at finances,
0:43:54 but even he doesn’t want to switch
0:43:56 between five different apps for banking,
0:43:59 expense tracking and contractor payments.
0:44:01 We wanted a tool that could just do it all.
0:44:02 And guess what?
0:44:03 We found one.
0:44:06 And yes, it’s called Found.
0:44:08 Found is an all-in-one financial tool
0:44:11 made for entrepreneurs and solopreneurs.
0:44:13 Found handles everything, business banking,
0:44:15 bookkeeping, invoicing, vendor payments,
0:44:17 and even tax planning.
0:44:19 No more juggling multiple apps.
0:44:21 Found does it all in one place.
0:44:24 With smart features like automatic expense tracking,
0:44:26 virtual cards for specific budgets,
0:44:29 and no hidden fees or minimum balances,
0:44:32 Found helps us stay organized and save time.
0:44:34 Plus, signing up is quick and easy.
0:44:37 No paperwork or credit checks required.
0:44:41 Join the 500,000 small business owners who trust Found.
0:44:43 Get your business banking working for you.
0:44:46 Try Found for Free at found.com/profiting.
0:44:48 Stop getting lost in countless finance apps
0:44:52 and try Found for Free at found.com/profiting.
0:44:57 Sign up for Found for Free at foud.com/profiting.
0:45:00 Found is a financial technology company, not a bank.
0:45:03 Banking services are provided by Pyramont Bank, member FDIC.
0:45:05 Found’s core features are free.
0:45:09 They also offer an optional paid product, Found Plus.
0:45:11 Young Improviders, chances are,
0:45:12 if you’re listening to this show,
0:45:15 you’ve got an expertise that you can teach other people.
0:45:17 Chances are you can make passive income
0:45:19 by creating your first course.
0:45:22 If you’ve been on the fence about creating a course,
0:45:24 what are you waiting for?
0:45:26 It is so easy to launch a course these days
0:45:28 because Teachable has got your back.
0:45:31 Teachable is the number one course platform.
0:45:33 It is simply the best platform for content creators
0:45:36 to start or grow an online business authentically.
0:45:39 That’s because Teachable offers more product options
0:45:41 to create and sell than any other platform
0:45:43 with online courses, digital downloads,
0:45:46 coaching services, memberships, and communities.
0:45:49 You can engage your online audience on a deeper level
0:45:50 and you can get selling fast
0:45:53 with easy to use content and website builders
0:45:55 plus a variety of AI tools.
0:45:58 They have an AI curriculum generator.
0:46:01 They have automatic subtitles and translations.
0:46:03 So they’ve really figured out how to use AI
0:46:07 to optimize our course creation and make it much faster.
0:46:08 They also have a top rated mobile app
0:46:11 that allows your customers to enjoy your products on the go.
0:46:13 On Teachable creators also get more power
0:46:16 and ownership over monetizing their content.
0:46:18 Your content shouldn’t get lost in the algorithm
0:46:21 and you shouldn’t have to rely on other companies to pay you.
0:46:23 Now is the perfect time to join Teachable
0:46:25 because you get an exclusive deal
0:46:27 with our partner code, Profiting.
0:46:29 Go to Teachable.com and use code Profiting
0:46:32 to unlock a free month on their pro plan.
0:46:35 You’ll get all their marketing, product creation features
0:46:36 to build out your offerings
0:46:38 and there’s no limitations on this trial.
0:46:40 So you definitely don’t wanna miss this.
0:46:41 Again, it’s Teachable.com.
0:46:44 You can use code Profiting for an entire free month
0:46:45 on Teachable.
0:46:47 Be a part of the 100,000 plus creators
0:46:50 who are already using Teachable to turn their expertise
0:46:53 into a thriving online business.
0:46:55 Young and Profiters, when I started my podcast
0:46:56 I had a volunteer team.
0:46:58 I was able to just go on social media,
0:47:00 put up a post, recruit some interns
0:47:01 and it was no big deal.
0:47:05 But as we scaled as a company, I need real A players.
0:47:07 I need people with experience
0:47:09 but we’re a small company.
0:47:10 And so I don’t have an HR team.
0:47:12 However, I found the secret sauce
0:47:15 to hiring effectively with no HR team
0:47:18 and the secret is Indeed.
0:47:20 Indeed is your go-to hiring and matching platform
0:47:23 where you can find vet and lock in the best talent
0:47:24 all in one place.
0:47:27 Stop bouncing around between different job sites
0:47:28 and let Indeed’s matching engine
0:47:31 help you build your dream team fast.
0:47:33 I’m super glad I found Indeed when I did
0:47:36 because now hiring is so much easier.
0:47:37 We’re not just doing it from scratch.
0:47:40 We do our hiring all in one place.
0:47:42 Indeed matches you with quality candidates.
0:47:46 In fact, a recent survey found that 93% of employers
0:47:48 agree that Indeed delivers the highest quality matches
0:47:50 compared to other job sites.
0:47:53 Getting high quality matches the minute you put up a post
0:47:56 saves you so much time.
0:47:58 Trust me, I know.
0:48:00 Join the over 3 million businesses worldwide
0:48:03 that use Indeed to hire A players fast
0:48:05 and listeners of the show will get a $75 sponsored
0:48:09 job credit to give your jobs more visibility
0:48:11 at indeed.com/profiting.
0:48:14 That’s indeed.com/profiting and tell Indeed
0:48:17 you heard about them on this podcast.
0:48:20 Terms and conditions apply, need to hire, you need Indeed.
0:48:26 So a lot of people think happy.
0:48:29 They talk about toxic positivity.
0:48:31 When somebody’s talking about happiness,
0:48:33 they’re trying to tell you you have to be happy all the time.
0:48:34 You don’t say that.
0:48:38 You say that there’s room for all different types of emotions.
0:48:42 Can you talk to us how we should be dealing with pain
0:48:43 and sadness?
0:48:45 And when things go bad, how should we
0:48:48 be dealing with it while still trying to be as joyful
0:48:50 and as happy as possible?
0:48:54 I think that the best strategy that we have according
0:48:57 to the research is really just treating yourself
0:48:59 with compassion no matter what you’re feeling.
0:49:02 And every emotion has a purpose.
0:49:04 My fear protects me.
0:49:07 My sadness inspires me to lean on other people.
0:49:09 My loneliness makes me want to reach out.
0:49:12 My anger is to protect me and others.
0:49:15 And if we try and shove those emotions away
0:49:17 and just be toxically positive, we’re
0:49:20 going to miss out on those things that are really important
0:49:23 because they ultimately end up helping us in the long run
0:49:24 with our happiness.
0:49:27 And so when you’re feeling a difficult emotion,
0:49:29 just don’t judge it.
0:49:30 It’s just a feeling.
0:49:32 And you’re a human being who’s allowed to have feelings.
0:49:36 It’s OK if you feel stressed or angry or sad.
0:49:39 And I often just do something very simple
0:49:41 where I just put my hand on my heart
0:49:44 and say, it’s OK that I feel this way right now.
0:49:47 And that little bit of soothing and connection to myself
0:49:51 is all that I really need to meet it with compassion
0:49:53 and then to be able to move forward and decide
0:49:54 what I’d like to do.
0:49:57 And I think it’s that combination of tuning
0:49:59 into your emotions, honoring them for what they are,
0:50:02 and then coming back to the wisest part of you
0:50:05 and thinking, well, what am I going to do with this?
0:50:05 How am I going to act?
0:50:07 How is this aligned with my values?
0:50:08 How do I want to behave?
0:50:11 And then using that emotion as an input
0:50:14 to help me understand how to move forward.
0:50:18 So we’re living in an unprecedented time right now
0:50:20 on the internet, especially when it comes
0:50:24 to all the global wars going on in the world.
0:50:32 We are watching a live Holocaust in Gaza 24/7.
0:50:35 There’s just so much war and terrible things going on.
0:50:38 And especially people my age, your age,
0:50:43 we’re just all privy to all the destruction and war going on.
0:50:46 And it’s hard to function like we used to.
0:50:49 I feel like before 2024, it was just different.
0:50:53 When war would happen, we wouldn’t see it constantly.
0:50:55 And now we’re just seeing it constantly.
0:50:57 And it’s innocent children and families.
0:50:59 And it’s really hard.
0:51:00 People are making the joke.
0:51:01 It’s not work-life balance anymore.
0:51:06 It’s like work-life genocide, like trying to balance work
0:51:10 and genocide, especially like I’m Palestinian myself.
0:51:12 And it’s been a tough year.
0:51:14 I can only imagine.
0:51:15 It’s just crazy.
0:51:17 I’m a very, very happy person.
0:51:21 But every day, I have to just battle seeing horrific things
0:51:25 and being so sad about things, and then continuing
0:51:28 to be an entrepreneur and teach and live the life that I was
0:51:30 living before all of this happened.
0:51:33 So just wanted to pick your brain around,
0:51:37 how do we deal with the horrific things that we’re
0:51:39 seeing on the internet right now,
0:51:41 and how it’s obviously going to be impacting
0:51:44 all of our mental health and happiness?
0:51:46 Well, first of all, I just want to express
0:51:50 my just profound sorrow, especially for what you’re
0:51:53 going through watching your people.
0:51:57 How we can expect to experience well-being when
0:51:59 we’re witnessing what we’re witnessing, to me,
0:52:04 is a really good example of why the third-hold happy lie exists,
0:52:06 because we’re not separate, right?
0:52:07 How am I?
0:52:08 How are you?
0:52:11 How is anyone supposed to witness and look at these images
0:52:14 and what is being streamed to our phones and to–
0:52:17 mostly to our phones, sometimes the televisions,
0:52:22 and feel like we can possibly experience well-being.
0:52:23 And we can’t, right?
0:52:26 We can’t in the same way, because what we’re witnessing
0:52:29 is profound suffering on a scale that’s, frankly,
0:52:31 almost incomprehensible.
0:52:36 And I think that, to me, that’s what real well-being is
0:52:39 about, is about saying, there are people out there who
0:52:44 are suffering, and I am going to choose to bear witness
0:52:48 to their pain, to try and show up and help in the ways that I
0:52:51 can, and to acknowledge that, yes, my happiness is
0:52:54 dependent upon their liberation, and their freedom,
0:52:56 and their self-determination, and their ability
0:52:58 to be well, and healthy, and happy.
0:53:00 I don’t think there’s any contradiction there, to be honest.
0:53:03 And I think that the more that we deny that,
0:53:05 the more that we say, oh, I’m just
0:53:07 going to close my mind and my eyes
0:53:10 to all of the tragedies that are happening,
0:53:14 and try and be happy alone in my little individualistic bubble,
0:53:18 I think that that’s a delusion, to be frank.
0:53:19 So I’m not really answering your question,
0:53:21 but I just wanted to say that, because I think
0:53:23 it’s a really important distinction here.
0:53:26 I love that answer to your question, because it’s so true.
0:53:29 I feel like the world is split to two people right now, folks
0:53:31 that are ignoring everything, and then just
0:53:33 in their little bubble, and then folks
0:53:36 who are witnessing everything and trying to help.
0:53:39 I think there’s no real answer to this.
0:53:41 It’s just we’ve got to figure out how
0:53:44 to have some joy in our lives, regardless.
0:53:47 It took me a while to figure that out.
0:53:49 For a while, I was just so upset.
0:53:50 And then I was like, you know what?
0:53:53 I need to help as much as I can.
0:53:58 That means I need to infuse joy in my life so that I can help.
0:53:59 I agree completely.
0:54:01 I think that’s really wise.
0:54:07 And I also think, again, you or the people most affected
0:54:10 by this, the people who have been directly harmed
0:54:13 by conflicts like these.
0:54:16 Not sure if you’ve ever seen the model of circles of concern,
0:54:18 where if something bad happens to somebody,
0:54:19 then there are these circles around them
0:54:21 of the people closest to them.
0:54:23 And it basically branches out until eventually you
0:54:24 get to their acquaintances.
0:54:28 So I often think about that in the context of suffering.
0:54:30 And so there are people in Gaza who
0:54:33 are at the center of the circle right now.
0:54:34 They’re the ones who are the most deeply suffering.
0:54:37 And then there are the people who are related to them
0:54:39 and connected to them in a part of their community
0:54:40 and a part of their country.
0:54:42 And then there are these expanding
0:54:44 circles outwards of care.
0:54:47 And what often happens in times of suffering
0:54:49 is that the people in the closest circle
0:54:52 have to bear the greatest burden because the people
0:54:55 in the outer circles don’t take it up.
0:55:00 And so for me, when I hear you say that, I think, well,
0:55:03 of course, joy is really important for you
0:55:05 because you’re in an inner circle.
0:55:07 And the people who are not involved
0:55:11 need to take up the cause and to do their part
0:55:14 and to help in some way to alleviate the burden so you
0:55:18 can go renew yourself, experience joy, experience love,
0:55:20 experience connection, get what you need,
0:55:22 and then come back and be able to help.
0:55:24 And that’s the problem in so many ways with our world
0:55:27 is that there are some people who care
0:55:30 and they’re bearing a disproportionate burden
0:55:33 while others don’t realize that caring is in their self
0:55:36 interest and that by caring, they’d
0:55:38 be able to get what they want, their own happiness
0:55:40 and well-being while also helping other people who
0:55:42 are in those circles of care.
0:55:44 So I don’t know if that resonates, but just–
0:55:45 It really does.
0:55:47 I loved that circle of care analogy.
0:55:49 That’s so good.
0:55:53 OK, so moving on to something less sad,
0:55:55 let’s talk about entrepreneurship.
0:55:58 Let’s just circle back to entrepreneurship again.
0:56:02 How do we balance our want to make money and build
0:56:08 companies with also this conflicting notion of intrinsic
0:56:11 goals that are going to make us happy?
0:56:12 I think that it’s really important
0:56:16 to have an understanding of what good looks like for you.
0:56:18 And again, it sounds really simple,
0:56:21 but how many of us have taken the time to actually think
0:56:21 about that?
0:56:25 You know, like, in a world that tells you that you always
0:56:27 need more and more and more and more.
0:56:29 No matter what you do, it’s never enough.
0:56:31 Finding out your own version of enough
0:56:34 can help to protect you and safeguard your well-being
0:56:37 as well as make sure you don’t get caught up in those things.
0:56:40 So if you’re an entrepreneur, what’s
0:56:42 your goal for your company this year?
0:56:43 What is your objective?
0:56:44 What would enough look like?
0:56:46 What would great look like?
0:56:50 And how do you figure out how to balance those objectives
0:56:53 alongside of the other things that matter to you?
0:56:56 The second thing I would say is really letting
0:57:00 go of the concept that your worth is determined
0:57:03 by how successful you are at reaching that goal.
0:57:06 We all have to rediscover that our self-worth is intrinsic.
0:57:09 It is not something that can be determined based
0:57:12 upon your performance or how much money you raise
0:57:14 or how many sales you made or anything like that.
0:57:16 Our worth is always, always, always present
0:57:19 because it’s deeply connected to our humanity.
0:57:22 And so the more that we can divorce those two things
0:57:26 and say, you know, great, I hit my goal and I’m worthy.
0:57:28 Or, great, I didn’t hit my goal.
0:57:30 And I’m still worthy no matter what I do.
0:57:34 And I think that if we can remove that sense of self-worth
0:57:36 that’s tied to these ideas of performance,
0:57:39 then that urgency to always push for more and more
0:57:41 becomes a little bit quieter and a little bit easier
0:57:43 to disconnect from.
0:57:47 Why is self-worth in general so important for our well-being?
0:57:49 What does self-worth do for us?
0:57:51 And what does self-worth even mean?
0:57:53 I know this is such a basic question.
0:57:55 I just want to distill it a little bit.
0:57:56 It’s a great question.
0:57:58 And basically, it’s your sense of yourself
0:58:03 and whether or not you have value as a person.
0:58:05 You know, there was a really interesting trend
0:58:07 in the ’80s and ’90s when I was growing up,
0:58:09 which was the self-esteem movement.
0:58:12 And basically, it was prop up your kids,
0:58:14 build them up by telling them how amazing they are
0:58:17 and giving them trophies and trying to elevate them
0:58:19 through their achievements.
0:58:20 And that’s really backfired, as we
0:58:24 can see through people my age who are struggling
0:58:25 with their well-being.
0:58:28 And instead, I think that it’s a much healthier
0:58:30 to seek out self-acceptance.
0:58:35 So you are acceptable no matter what.
0:58:38 And that means that if I do a terrible job on this podcast
0:58:42 and embarrass myself, that I would do my best to hang up
0:58:45 and say, Stephanie, you’re still acceptable.
0:58:46 I might have wished I’d done better.
0:58:49 I might have wished I sounded more articulate or whatever
0:58:54 it was, but it doesn’t affect my inherent sense of well-being.
0:58:57 And I think the more that we can do that in our most painful
0:59:00 moments and recognize that, as well as also the more
0:59:03 that we practice it with others, the easier it becomes for us.
0:59:07 When I look at you and I hear how brilliant and wonderful
0:59:10 you are, and I just think, wow, she’s amazing
0:59:13 and has so much to offer and is so excellent at what she does
0:59:17 and who she is, and I offer that acceptance to you,
0:59:19 then I can learn to turn that on myself as well.
0:59:21 And that empowers me.
0:59:24 And then it comes again, another beautiful virtuous cycle.
0:59:28 So it’s just accepting ourselves and saying, yeah, I’m a human.
0:59:29 Sometimes I mess up.
0:59:30 Sometimes I don’t do what I want to do.
0:59:32 Sometimes I embarrass myself.
0:59:33 And all of that is OK.
0:59:37 Now, I have an A-type personality.
0:59:39 When I hear that, I’m like, well, wouldn’t
0:59:41 that result in mediocrity?
0:59:42 Yes, I understand.
0:59:45 You never get better, or you’re just like, oh, I suck.
0:59:46 OK, I suck.
0:59:47 I still accept myself.
0:59:50 But then how do you get better, right?
0:59:53 Or how do you accept that there’s a need for improvement?
0:59:57 Or if you want those goals, I guess, what’s the balance there?
1:00:00 Well, actually, paradoxically, the self-acceptance
1:00:01 helps you to grow.
1:00:05 So we think that if we can just change or improve ourselves,
1:00:07 then we’ll become acceptable.
1:00:09 But in reality, when we accept ourselves,
1:00:12 we are able to grow and change and improve ourselves.
1:00:16 So every transformation I’ve ever experienced in my life
1:00:20 or any success or fulfillment that I’ve had
1:00:24 has come from not pushing myself harder and harder,
1:00:27 but from accepting who I am and then just trying
1:00:29 to do my best the next day.
1:00:32 And the more that we can honor that truth
1:00:35 by practicing it in our lives and unwinding that,
1:00:36 because I’m the same.
1:00:39 I’m super type A. I never understood this.
1:00:42 And then I always got so mad at myself because I was like,
1:00:45 why am I struggling so much?
1:00:46 I have all the systems.
1:00:47 I have the plans.
1:00:47 I have the goals.
1:00:50 And yet, no matter what I do, I’m never
1:00:52 able to get to where I want to go.
1:00:56 And it turned out it was because I was hating myself
1:00:58 and telling myself how horrible I was all the time.
1:01:01 And that made it so much harder to do the things
1:01:02 that I wanted to do.
1:01:04 This is all such great advice.
1:01:07 Now, some folks that are entrepreneurs on the call,
1:01:09 I think, are going to get some ideas of how
1:01:11 they can transform their business
1:01:14 to have more intrinsic goals, to serve people.
1:01:18 What about the people who are in a job right now?
1:01:21 How can they actually shift their mindset a bit
1:01:24 to have more intrinsic goals when somebody else is paying
1:01:25 them for certain goals?
1:01:26 Yeah.
1:01:28 I think that in these cases, there
1:01:30 are some strategies that we can use
1:01:31 that are really, really helpful and that
1:01:33 have been proven out in studies.
1:01:34 They’re called job crafting.
1:01:36 So it’s essentially trying to make
1:01:40 your job a fit for you rather than fitting to your job.
1:01:43 And I think that the best way to do this
1:01:45 is to just be a little bit sneaky with it.
1:01:48 And you don’t have to tell anybody if you’re doing it.
1:01:49 But simply think, what projects am I
1:01:51 most excited about at work?
1:01:53 Or what colleagues do I like to work with the most?
1:01:56 Or are there any tasks or things I’d like to learn or grow in?
1:01:58 And then just try to adjust your job a little bit.
1:02:00 Raise your hand for certain projects.
1:02:01 Prioritize certain things.
1:02:04 Be proactive and go to your manager and say,
1:02:07 hey, I’d really like to learn this new AI
1:02:08 tool that we’re exploring.
1:02:10 Can I take the lead on this?
1:02:13 Anything that you do in order to shape the job,
1:02:15 to fit you, is going to help you to tap
1:02:17 into your intrinsic motivation.
1:02:18 I love that.
1:02:19 When I was working in corporate,
1:02:23 I used to always volunteer for the employee resource groups.
1:02:23 Yes.
1:02:25 Doing charity events and whatever.
1:02:27 And that was really satisfying when I was–
1:02:28 That’s such a great example.
1:02:30 –working for the man.
1:02:33 I know for me, when I was working in corporate,
1:02:36 I really wanted to work full time in corporate well-being
1:02:38 because I thought that was what I wanted to do.
1:02:40 And they said, no, no, we can’t make that a job for you.
1:02:42 And so I just decided, I’m going
1:02:44 to run a well-being class for anybody who’s interested.
1:02:47 And I just went rogue and ran these hour-long classes
1:02:49 every week for anybody who wanted to show up.
1:02:50 And it was great.
1:02:51 It gave me so much meaning.
1:02:53 It helped me to grow and learn new skills.
1:02:56 And I didn’t have to ask permission for it.
1:02:57 I could just do it.
1:02:59 And then if anyone got upset at me,
1:03:02 I said, are you really mad that I’m helping your employees
1:03:05 to feel better at work?
1:03:08 OK, my last question to you on happiness
1:03:10 is what is the most important factor that you
1:03:15 would say for long-term sustainable happiness?
1:03:17 It’s your relationships, really.
1:03:20 It’s building meaningful, beautiful, helpful,
1:03:24 mutual relationships with people who you care about,
1:03:26 with people in your neighborhood, in your communities,
1:03:28 the people who you work with.
1:03:30 You said it so beautifully yourself
1:03:31 at the very beginning of our chat.
1:03:33 At the end of the day, we all know
1:03:37 that people around us are so important.
1:03:38 They make such a difference in our lives.
1:03:39 They bring us meaning.
1:03:42 And the more that we can really invest in those relationships
1:03:45 and cultivate them, the happier we’re going to become.
1:03:47 I feel like it’s a reminder that I get every other week
1:03:48 on the podcast.
1:03:50 And I’m glad that I get it because it’s something
1:03:52 that we always forget.
1:03:53 Relationships are everything.
1:03:55 OK, so I’m going to ask you two questions
1:03:57 that I ask all my guests.
1:03:59 They don’t have to do with today’s topic.
1:04:01 You can just answer from your heart.
1:04:04 What is one actionable thing our young and profitors
1:04:07 can do today to become more profitable tomorrow?
1:04:14 I would recommend that you give yourself just 10 minutes
1:04:16 to spend with yourself.
1:04:19 And ask yourself what you need right now.
1:04:21 And just whatever comes up, don’t judge it.
1:04:24 Just accept it and learn from it.
1:04:26 Because when you get what you need,
1:04:28 you’re going to be able to show up for your work,
1:04:30 for your business, your employees, your customers
1:04:35 in a way that is so transformative and incredible.
1:04:38 So don’t forget to tune in and tap into your own needs
1:04:39 in those moments.
1:04:43 And what would you say is your secret to profiting in life?
1:04:44 Giving.
1:04:46 Yes.
1:04:48 And we learned today that giving is the best way
1:04:49 to build relationships.
1:04:51 Yes, exactly.
1:04:52 That’s the secret.
1:04:54 You nailed it.
1:04:56 I feel like it’s a really good lesson.
1:04:57 Where can our listeners learn more about you
1:04:59 and everything that you do?
1:05:01 The new happy.com.
1:05:01 Amazing.
1:05:02 Stephanie, thank you so much.
1:05:04 Everyone, I highly recommend you
1:05:06 go grab her book, “The New Happy.”
1:05:07 If you want to live a happier life,
1:05:09 Stephanie, thank you so much for your time.
1:05:10 Thank you for having me.
1:05:11 It was such a joy to talk to you.
1:05:16 Hey, gang.
1:05:19 This was such an enlightening conversation
1:05:20 with Stephanie Harrison.
1:05:24 And let’s face it, it’s super hard to be an entrepreneur.
1:05:26 It’s not a walk of life that is at all
1:05:29 conducive to being happy.
1:05:31 We’re more likely to suffer from mental health issues
1:05:33 like anxiety and depression.
1:05:36 And we’re under so much pressure to perform,
1:05:39 to satisfy our clients, customers, and employees,
1:05:43 not to mention our own high expectations.
1:05:44 And part of that comes from the fact
1:05:48 that we’re inherently capitalist to our core.
1:05:50 And like Stephanie said, we live in a society that
1:05:52 has told us that if you want to be happy,
1:05:55 you have to achieve certain goals and outcomes.
1:05:59 And that success and money are one and the same as happiness.
1:06:00 But of course, they’re not.
1:06:02 And that’s not true.
1:06:05 Stephanie recommends that we reorient ourselves
1:06:07 toward happiness, that true happiness,
1:06:11 the new happy, which comes from being true to who you are
1:06:13 and using that to serve others.
1:06:14 And there’s nothing preventing you
1:06:17 from adopting this mindset as an entrepreneur
1:06:19 and applying it to your business.
1:06:21 Think about the unique skills and knowledge you possess
1:06:23 and figure out a way that you can
1:06:27 create a product or service that taps into those abilities
1:06:30 and will help others in their lives too.
1:06:33 But remember, you are so much more than just your business,
1:06:36 more than your goals, more than your achievements.
1:06:39 So please, be determined, be persistent,
1:06:42 but also be kind to yourself.
1:06:45 And if you’re feeling lonely or isolated,
1:06:48 try to step back from your own challenges for a moment
1:06:51 and go out and do something for somebody else.
1:06:54 Sometimes the very best thing you can do for yourself
1:06:56 is to show up for other people.
1:06:59 And thank you for showing up and listening to this episode
1:07:01 of Young and Profiting Podcast.
1:07:03 If you listened and learned and profited from this conversation
1:07:06 with the inspiring Stephanie Harrison,
1:07:09 why not take her advice and share that wisdom with others?
1:07:12 And if you did enjoy this show and you learned something,
1:07:15 then please take a couple minutes to drop us a five-star review
1:07:18 on Apple Podcasts, Spotify,
1:07:20 or wherever you listen to your podcasts.
1:07:22 Nothing helps us reach more people
1:07:24 than a good review from you.
1:07:27 If you prefer to watch your podcast as videos,
1:07:29 you can find us on YouTube.
1:07:30 Just look up Young and Profiting.
1:07:33 You’ll find all of our episodes on there.
1:07:35 You can also find me on Instagram or LinkedIn
1:07:38 by searching my name, it’s Halataha.
1:07:40 And before we wrap, I wanna give a big shout out
1:07:42 to my incredible Yap Production team.
1:07:45 Thank you guys so much for all your hard work.
1:07:47 This is your host, Halataha,
1:07:50 AKA The Podcast Princess, signing off.
1:07:52 (upbeat music)
1:07:55 (upbeat music)
1:07:58 (upbeat music)
1:08:00 (upbeat music)
1:08:03 (upbeat music)
1:08:13 [BLANK_AUDIO]