Huberman Lab

Dr. Paul Eastwick, PhD, is a professor of psychology at the University of California, Davis, and a leading expert on the modern science of mate selection in humans. We discuss what people actually look for in a partner, including surprising findings about age preferences, finances, and physical attractiveness. We also discuss why dating apps often lead people to select for traits that don’t support lasting partnerships. We discuss how initial attractions form and evolve and which factors best predict romantic relationship stability and satisfaction. We also explain activities that can expand your dating pool, as well as practical tools for building and sustaining healthy romantic relationships. This episode is for anyone currently in or wanting to be in a relationship.

Read the episode show notes at hubermanlab.com.

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Timestamps

(00:00:00) Paul Eastwick

(00:03:25) Evolutionary Models of Dating, Mate Value

(00:08:57) Initial Attraction, Maturity

(00:12:56) Sponsors: David & Lingo

(00:15:21) Dating Apps; Shared Moments & Developing Attraction

(00:24:17) First Impressions & Early Relationships; Partner Bias

(00:31:41) Friends & Family Support; Relationship Research, Attachment Theory

(00:42:15) Sponsor: AG1

(00:43:34) Couple Friends, Advice from Others

(00:47:35) Social Support, Women vs Men

(00:55:05) Dating App Algorithms, Distrust of Men & Women

(01:05:29) Activities & Dating, Observing Date Social Behavior

(01:11:25) Texting, Verbal Skills

(01:16:15) Sponsor: LMNT

(01:17:36) Partner Actions, Dating vs Relationship

(01:22:57) Dating & Asking Good Questions; Genuine Connection

(01:29:36) Attraction, What Qualities Men & Women Want

(01:36:18) Homosexual Dating & Relationships

(01:40:08) Finances; Job Loss; Men vs Women, Ambition

(01:46:28) Sponsor: Function

(01:48:05) Age Difference, Men vs Women Preference; Wanting Children

(01:54:58) Church, Activities, Small Groups & Dating; Work; Perceived Similarity

(02:07:10) Social Media, Attraction to Alternative Partners, Infidelity

(02:19:13) Stranger Attention, Mate Value

(02:24:58) Past Relationship Value; Relationship Duration, Breakups

(02:34:33) Physical Intimacy & Relationship Satisfaction

(02:39:32) Young Adults & Changing Relationships, Technology

(02:47:31) Zero-Cost Support, YouTube, Spotify & Apple Follow, Reviews & Feedback, Protocols Book, Sponsors, Social Media, Neural Network Newsletter

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