Author: Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha

  • Sahil Bloom: The 5 Types of Wealth You Need to Design Your Dream Life | E335

    AI transcript
    0:00:06 Today’s episode is sponsored in part by Robinhood Airbnb Shopify RocketMoney NordVPN and Indeed.
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    0:01:13 at indeed.com/profiting. Terms and conditions apply. As always, you can find all of our incredible
    0:01:21 deals in the show notes or at youngerprofiting.com/deals. What is our life razor? What is our
    0:01:27 identity defining rule for our life? A razor is a rule of thumb that allows you to cut through the
    0:01:31 noise. During the course of your life, the things that you prioritize or focus on will change.
    0:01:37 You can reinvent your story at any point in your life. You can’t plan entrepreneurship. The whole
    0:01:43 idea of creating a business plan is a joke. You have to go do the thing. Every single time I thought
    0:01:48 I was too late, it was still early. And all it took was for me to actually lean into the thing
    0:01:52 and just do it consistently every single day. If somebody wants to learn more about how to buy
    0:01:58 companies, what do you suggest? I would definitely go and… What is your idea around mentorship
    0:02:04 and community with other entrepreneurs? I think networking is dead. What you are really seeking
    0:02:27 to do is when you end up getting the best returns. Young Improperters, welcome back to the show.
    0:02:32 And today we’ve got an exciting live interview in store for you. And before we get started,
    0:02:37 I want to ask you a question. What if building a wealthy life had nothing to do with the amount
    0:02:42 of money that you have in your bank account? Well, today, Sahil Bloom is going to tell us
    0:02:48 exactly why that’s true. And he’s on admission to define what it means to exactly have a wealthy
    0:02:54 life. Sahil is an entrepreneur, investor, and the author of the Curiosity Chronicles newsletter,
    0:02:59 as well as the author of the new book, The Five Types of Wealth. In today’s conversation,
    0:03:04 we’re going to uncover Sahil’s entrepreneurship journey. We’re going to discuss his business
    0:03:09 ecosystem and how he makes his money. And then we’re going to go on to discuss the five dimensions
    0:03:13 of wealth besides financial wealth. You guys are going to want to hear this, especially
    0:03:18 all my entrepreneurs out there. So without further delay, here’s my awesome conversation with Sahil
    0:03:23 Bloom. Sahil, welcome to Young Improfiting Podcast. Thank you so much for having me. I’m
    0:03:27 thrilled to do it. I’m so excited for this conversation. I love doing in-person interviews,
    0:03:31 and I feel like we have so much to talk about. So the first thing I want to ask you, I’m just
    0:03:37 going to jump right into it. When I was reading your book, I learned about your life razor,
    0:03:42 and you’ve got a personal life razor. So first, I wanted to ask you what is a life razor and tell
    0:03:51 us what your personal life razor is. This concept, I came upon originally via the founder and first
    0:03:58 CEO of Netflix, a man named Mark Randolph, maybe familiar with. Mark posted this really interesting
    0:04:02 thing, I think this is probably about two years ago now, where he talked about the fact that
    0:04:06 throughout his entire technology career, extraordinarily successful technology career,
    0:04:11 made oodles and oodles of money, built these amazing businesses. The thing that he was most proud about
    0:04:17 was that he had this rule that every single Tuesday at 5 p.m., he would leave work and go out on a
    0:04:22 date with his wife. He says that what he’s most proud about from his career is not that he founded
    0:04:26 these incredible companies or made all this money, but that he managed to do that while
    0:04:31 having an incredible marriage and having kids who love him and like spending time with him.
    0:04:38 It struck me when I first read that the idea of leaving at 5 p.m. to have dinner with his wife
    0:04:44 was not really about any one date or about the dinner itself. It was about what it implied about
    0:04:49 who he was as a person, about the boundaries that he was creating, about what his priorities were in
    0:04:53 life, and about the ripple effects that that idea created into other areas of his life.
    0:04:59 That was where I came to this term in talking to Mark about a life razor. A razor, if you’re not
    0:05:06 familiar with it, is the idea of a single point of focus, a rule of thumb that allows you to cut
    0:05:11 through the noise when you’re making a decision. For Mark Randolph, he was the type of person
    0:05:16 who left work to have a 5 p.m. dinner with his wife. That was his life razor. It was a single
    0:05:21 point of focus that, no matter what, allowed him to cut through the noise in his life. Anytime
    0:05:28 something came up, he could identify himself as that type of person. If an interesting career
    0:05:34 opportunity came up, he could say, “No, I’m the type of person who leaves work at 5 p.m. to have
    0:05:39 dinner with my wife.” That is an important part of who he is as a human being. That is something
    0:05:46 that we all need to think about in our own lives. What is our life razor? What is our identity defining
    0:05:53 rule for our life? Mine is, “I will coach my son’s sports teams.” It’s a similar concept to Mark
    0:06:01 Randolph’s in that I define myself as the type of person who is a husband, a father, a community
    0:06:07 member, a leader in all of these ways. Being able to say, “I am the type of person who coaches my
    0:06:12 son’s sports teams” means certain things about who I am and how I interact with the world around me.
    0:06:16 It means that I’ll prioritize family ahead of certain financial opportunities. It means I’ll
    0:06:22 be willing to make sacrifices to prioritize those in my life. I encourage other people to think about
    0:06:26 that. I walk through an exercise in the book to identify your own, how to come to your own life
    0:06:31 razor. It’s a really important way to cut through the noise and make decisions in your life.
    0:06:37 Razor comes from shaving off time and saving time with decisions is so important. Do you have
    0:06:43 multiple life razors? I feel like I heard you once say that you like to wake up and do hard
    0:06:50 things. That’s another life razor of yours. The idea of your own life, of having these different
    0:06:55 seasons of your life is a really important concept to me. That concept says that basically,
    0:07:00 during the course of your life, the things that you prioritize or focus on will change.
    0:07:05 During your 20s and 30s, that is a great time for you to focus on building a financial foundation
    0:07:09 for the rest of your life. As I talk about some of the concepts of the book of building a life of
    0:07:13 wealth across all of these different areas, that doesn’t mean that your life is going to be perfectly
    0:07:18 in balance across these five areas throughout your life. What it means is that you need to think
    0:07:23 about all of them as you consider building. But what you’re prioritizing, what you are really
    0:07:29 focusing on during any one season will change. What that means is that your life razor may change
    0:07:33 across these different periods of your life. Because when you are 20 or when you’re in your
    0:07:38 early 30s and you’re really honing in on doing hard things, building a business, building a
    0:07:43 financial foundation for your life, it might be something like waking up and doing hard things.
    0:07:47 That’s your life razor. Then as you have kids and as you are prioritizing family,
    0:07:51 it may become something more like Mark Randolph that you leave to have dinner.
    0:07:59 So now you wake up at 4.30 a.m. You take cold plunges. You are a big self-improvement influencer.
    0:08:03 You help people improve their lives. But I learned that when you were younger,
    0:08:07 you were actually quite insecure as a kid. And so first, I want to ask you,
    0:08:11 where do you think those insecurities came from when you were growing up? And what were you like?
    0:08:20 I think a lot about the fact that the stories we tell ourselves about who we are are so important
    0:08:26 to how we interact with the world. And especially those original stories that you tell yourself
    0:08:30 about the type of person you are and your capabilities and your competencies. Those
    0:08:34 stories are very hard to break. And so if it is a negative story that you are starting to tell
    0:08:39 yourself, you will look around the world and you’ll find all of the information that confirms that
    0:08:44 story. And if there’s things that refute that story, you won’t see it. You’ll reject it. It’s
    0:08:48 called the narrative fallacy. Humans are storytelling creatures. So we look to confirm
    0:08:53 the stories that we understand. I had told myself from a young age, a story that I wasn’t smart.
    0:09:00 I have an older sister who was extraordinarily high achieving academically. And at the first sign
    0:09:06 of me not being able to easily do that same thing that she was doing, I started telling myself,
    0:09:10 I’m not the smart one. I need to find a different thing. I need to be athletic or something else,
    0:09:16 but I’m not smart. That bred within me an insecurity that was very, very hard to crack.
    0:09:19 And no matter how much my parents told me that it wasn’t true, no matter how much my sister told
    0:09:25 me it wasn’t true or teachers, it was the story I told myself and I was not willing to break it.
    0:09:31 And it took, frankly, like 30 years for me to finally reject those original stories and truly
    0:09:38 create the space for introspection to actually break some of those original stories I had told
    0:09:44 myself. So you ended up becoming a collegiate baseball player. I think you went to Stanford,
    0:09:50 is that right? And you went into finance afterwards. So talk to us about your early career
    0:09:56 and what led you to end up making a big change. The early years of my career were very much spent,
    0:10:02 head down, focused on building a financial and sort of experience and knowledge foundation for
    0:10:09 the rest of my life. I loved my early years in finance. I went and worked at a private equity
    0:10:13 fund, which for those that aren’t familiar, it’s a fund that raises a pool of capital and you go
    0:10:18 and buy and sell companies and you make money along the way. It was an extraordinary learning
    0:10:22 experience. And when I give advice to young people, what I say is when you are young,
    0:10:28 time is the only thing that you have. It is your only asset. You don’t have networks, you don’t
    0:10:32 have money, you don’t have experience, you don’t have knowledge, you don’t have any of those things.
    0:10:37 And so as a result, you need to take the time that you do have and trade it for all of those things.
    0:10:41 Once you’ve done that, then the whole world has opened up to you because now you have networks
    0:10:45 and money and experience and you can deploy those into the most interesting, asymmetric,
    0:10:50 high upside opportunities. But until you do that trade, you wouldn’t know how to work smart.
    0:10:54 When young people say, “Oh, I’m going to work smart, not hard,” you can’t really do that until
    0:10:59 you work hard because you don’t have the assets to work smart. So my early career years, I was just
    0:11:05 working 80 to 100 hours a week and that was very much the trading time for all of these other things
    0:11:12 phase of my life. And it was fantastic for three or four years. And what happened to me was I started
    0:11:18 to make money. I started to convince myself that my happiness and fulfillment was on the other side
    0:11:24 of some arbitrary financial milestone. Basically, I started marching down the path of, “I’ll be really
    0:11:28 happy when I make my first million dollars,” and then I did that. And then it was, “I’ll be really
    0:11:33 happy when I make three million dollars,” and then I did that. And I was not happy. None of the things
    0:11:38 that I thought were going to magically appear in my life had materialized. It was just this feeling
    0:11:44 of disappear and reappear into the horizon. And along that journey, a lot of areas of my life
    0:11:49 that are more important had started to crumble. And that was my relationships had started to really
    0:11:55 be strained with my parents, with my sister, my wife and I were struggling to conceive at the time.
    0:12:00 My health, I was drinking seven nights a week, unfortunately. Mental and physical health were
    0:12:05 really suffering. So all of these other areas of my life were starting to deteriorate while on the
    0:12:09 surface. You would have said I was winning the game. I was getting promoted. I was making money.
    0:12:15 Things were going well from the outside looking in. And I just started to think as I approached turning
    0:12:22 30 that if that was what winning the game felt like, I had to be playing the wrong game. And I knew
    0:12:26 I needed to make a change. And so it was just figuring out what was that change.
    0:12:30 When did you start your newsletter? Was that a side hustle while you were in corporate?
    0:12:39 No, I started that the month I left my job. That was in May of 2021. I launched my newsletter.
    0:12:44 Originally, I launched it just as a way to send the things I was writing on Twitter, which I had
    0:12:49 been writing for about a year at that time. From May of 2020, I started on Twitter because I was
    0:12:54 stuck at home. Like a lot of people I was like, during lockdowns, I was stuck there. And I started
    0:12:59 writing on Twitter. And then I started sending those out to people via emails in May of 2021.
    0:13:03 And that was really the spark of, okay, maybe there are businesses that you can build off of
    0:13:07 this stuff, which I’m sure we’ll start talking about entrepreneurship. But that was really
    0:13:12 the first lever of all of that. Yeah. And your newsletter is huge now. So how many subscribers
    0:13:16 do you have? Now it reaches a little over 800,000 people twice a week, which is such a huge newsletter.
    0:13:22 So it’s such an awesome business that you created doing that. So then you ended up wanting to make
    0:13:28 a big change. I learned that you wanted to move closer to your parents and you ended up pivoting
    0:13:35 your career at the same time. So talk to us about that. I had a single conversation in May of 2021
    0:13:40 that really changed the course of my life. I went out for a drink with an old friend. This was at
    0:13:45 the time in my life when I had started to question whether I was playing the wrong game. And he
    0:13:50 asked how I was doing. And I said, it had started to get difficult being so far away from my parents
    0:13:55 who were on the East Coast. Started to see them getting older and being so far away. And he asked
    0:14:01 how old they were. And I said mid-60s. And he asked, how many times do you see them? And I said,
    0:14:06 maybe once a year. And he just looked at me and said, okay, so you’re going to see your parents
    0:14:13 15 more times before they die. And I just remember feeling like I had been punched in the gut.
    0:14:17 I mean, the idea that the amount of time you have left with the people you love most in the
    0:14:23 world is so finite and countable that you can put it onto a few hands is just terrifying.
    0:14:28 And so the next day, I told my wife that I thought we needed to make a change. And within 45 days,
    0:14:33 I had left my job. We had sold our house in California and moved across the country to be
    0:14:38 closer to both of our sets of parents. And in hindsight, that was really the spark that sent
    0:14:43 me on this entire journey that has culminated in even being here and talking about this in the book,
    0:14:48 because there was a key realization there that a wealthy life may involve money,
    0:14:54 but really, it is built around these other things. And no job will ever pay you enough
    0:14:59 to be far away from people you love. So true. That was the single greatest change that we ever
    0:15:04 made was picking up and moving across the country to live closer to them. And now that number 15
    0:15:08 times before they die is in the hundreds. Like, I see my parents multiple times a month now,
    0:15:13 they’re a huge part of my son’s life, all of these things. And so that was the spark that
    0:15:16 really ended up snowballing into all of these things that have happened.
    0:15:21 I have to say, when I was studying you, that was one of the most impactful stories that I read about.
    0:15:27 And it really made me think about my decisions because I’m thinking about moving to Austin or
    0:15:32 Miami to save on taxes, my whole family’s in New Jersey, New York. And at the end of the day,
    0:15:37 do I care about saving $100,000 a year? Or do I want to spend time with my family and just hearing
    0:15:41 that from you, you know, 15 times left to see your parents? When you think about it that way,
    0:15:48 it’s really eye-opening. And it also reminded me of the fact that my father died during COVID.
    0:15:56 It’s okay. But I was really happy that when I was 28, I made the decision to go get my MBA.
    0:16:02 And it was in New Jersey, my MBA school. And so I decided that I was going to live with my parents.
    0:16:05 And I remember my boyfriend, my friends, they were all like, “Why are you going to live with
    0:16:11 your parents that’s so lame?” And honestly, I’m so thankful. I spent two years living in my parents’
    0:16:17 house because I got to reconnect with them at 28 years old. And in your book, you were saying how
    0:16:22 in your 20s, you end up not seeing your parents. I was like a stranger to my parents by the time
    0:16:27 I was 28 because from 18 to whatever, I was just never home. And then I got to reconnect with them.
    0:16:31 And then it just made me always want to come home because I felt closer to them.
    0:16:38 And then my father passed away like two years later. And so it was definitely the right move.
    0:16:43 I don’t regret it, one bit. And I encourage everybody who’s young out there right now,
    0:16:47 if you have an opportunity to go spend more time with your parents, go live closer to them,
    0:16:52 even live with them if they want you to, to save money and grind and do whatever you need to,
    0:16:54 I would say go for it.
    0:16:59 Yeah. And look, it all starts with awareness. The fact that you are aware enough to make that
    0:17:03 change is a huge thing. We don’t think about time. Like when you’re young,
    0:17:07 time is not a thing that ever crosses your mind. You don’t think about the fact that time is your
    0:17:11 most precious asset. It is literally the only thing that matters. And when you’re young,
    0:17:15 you’re literally a time billionaire. You have billions of seconds left in your life.
    0:17:16 I love that time billionaire.
    0:17:20 That is the only thing that you truly have. And we don’t relate to ourselves that way.
    0:17:25 We don’t actually treat time as that precious asset. And so then we don’t think about it at all
    0:17:29 until it’s the only thing that we think about, but then it’s too late, then you’re dead.
    0:17:36 And what happens is that life ends up being filled with laders. You spend time saying,
    0:17:39 “Oh, I’ll spend more time with my kids later. I’ll spend more time with my parents later.
    0:17:44 I’ll spend more time on my health later. I’ll find my purpose later. I’ll pursue my passions later.”
    0:17:48 And the sad thing is that later just becomes another word for never,
    0:17:51 because those things are not going to exist in the same way later.
    0:17:55 Your kids are not going to be five years old later. Your parents are going to be dead later.
    0:18:00 Your health won’t be there later. You won’t just magically find your passions or purpose later.
    0:18:04 So unless you build those things into your life now, design them into your life now,
    0:18:07 you’re just going to regret it later.
    0:18:12 So speaking of regrets and getting started, one of the things that I hear you say pretty often
    0:18:17 is that it’s never too late to start. And you often kick yourself for not starting certain
    0:18:22 things early enough. So talk to us about that. And to all the young people out there listening,
    0:18:28 what do you want to tell them? Every single time I thought I was too late,
    0:18:33 it was still early. Every single time, over and over and over again, I convinced myself
    0:18:37 that I wasn’t going to do something because it’s too late. Oh, you can’t start a YouTube channel
    0:18:42 now. Oh, you can’t start on Twitter now. All these things, it’s too late. Every single time,
    0:18:46 it was still early. And all it took was for me to actually lean into the thing and just do it
    0:18:51 consistently every single day. You are the only one that determines that it’s too late and it’s
    0:18:55 made up in your own mind. The reality is if you have energy for something and you are willing
    0:19:01 to put energy towards it on a consistent basis to get better at it over time, you’re never too late.
    0:19:06 There’s no such thing. You can reinvent your story at any point in your life if you decide to.
    0:19:11 But what you do need to do is put the energy into it every single day. It can’t be like a,
    0:19:16 oh yeah, I’m half in, half out. You have to go all in on these things. And if you do, it’s never
    0:19:21 too late. I totally agree. I remember when I started my podcast almost eight years ago now,
    0:19:28 I think seven years ago now, everybody told me I was too old to start a podcast. I don’t even know
    0:19:33 what that means. How old were you at the time? I was like, 28 was what, I was like, you’re too old
    0:19:39 to start a podcast. I was like, okay. And it turned out I was super early. So, you know, it’s all in
    0:19:44 your head to your point. You got to put in the energy. Let’s stick on energy for a bit. Why is
    0:19:49 energy so important as an entrepreneur and how can we protect our energy? I think the difference
    0:19:54 between time and energy is one of the most important distinctions to understand as an
    0:19:59 entrepreneur or just as a human. And the insight here is that we think about time and how we’re
    0:20:05 allocating time, but really the way that you allocate your energy is what matters. Energy is
    0:20:09 the finite resource that we need to be aware of because you may have 24 hours in a day or you
    0:20:15 may have 16 hours while you’re awake. The reality is that you don’t have that much energy. You’re
    0:20:20 not just even energy throughout the day. And the things that you deploy your energy into,
    0:20:24 especially the things that create energy for you, where you feel really drawn to them,
    0:20:29 those are the things that create the incredible 10x, 100x, 1000x outcomes in your life.
    0:20:34 We all know this in our own experience. The times when we have generated incredible outputs and
    0:20:39 incredible results, it has always been when we felt pulled towards something, when we were able
    0:20:44 to put our head down and not even realized time was just disappearing. You lost yourself in the
    0:20:49 thing you were doing. We need to tune into that more because when you lean into things that are
    0:20:55 creating energy in your life in that way, relationships or business endeavors, that is
    0:20:59 what creates the most incredible outcomes in your life. And so in the book, actually, I have an
    0:21:04 exercise that I love people to walk through to actually identify the things that are creating
    0:21:10 energy in your life. I call it the energy calendar. And all you have to do is at the end of a weekday,
    0:21:14 take a Monday, at the end of a Monday, color code your calendar according to whether the
    0:21:19 activity created energy, meaning you felt lifted up by it, market green. It was neutral,
    0:21:24 market yellow. And if it was draining, if you felt physically drained by it, market red.
    0:21:29 At the end of a week, if you do that every day, you have a very clear picture of the types of
    0:21:34 activities and the types of people who are creating energy in your life versus draining energy in your
    0:21:40 life. After you have that insight, you can slowly reposition your calendar to be focused more on
    0:21:46 energy creators than energy drainers. That will change your entire life because you’ll be spending
    0:21:51 more of your time on things that are lifting you up on things you are pulled towards and less on
    0:21:55 things that are killing you. That will lead to better outcomes. It’ll lead to better relationships.
    0:22:00 It’ll lead to an improved business. All of the outcomes we want in life will follow as a result
    0:22:04 of leaning into those energy creators. And for the entrepreneurs out there, we’ve got control
    0:22:10 over it. And if you’re still working a nine to five, what do you suggest? You have more control
    0:22:14 than you think, even in a nine to five. I’ll give you an example. I did that exercise for the first
    0:22:20 time when I was still working my 80 to 100 hour week finance job. The biggest energy drainer I found
    0:22:26 on my calendar was phone calls and Zoom meetings. And while I could not just start saying no to
    0:22:32 those, I was an associate at the time, like I was still pretty junior, I could slightly tweak the
    0:22:38 way that I was doing them in order to make them more energy creating by doing some of them while
    0:22:43 out on a walk. So what I noticed about myself was that sitting at my desk doing a phone call or a
    0:22:49 Zoom is about as energy draining as I can get. But doing that same phone call or Zoom while walking
    0:22:54 was very energy creating for me. I love being outside. I’m more present because you can’t
    0:22:58 multitask when you’re on a phone call on a walk. And so as a result, I actually show up better on
    0:23:02 those calls. Like you and I were doing one, you would notice I felt more present and I feel much
    0:23:07 better after doing them. So I took half of my calls, the ones that I was able to, and put them
    0:23:13 into walking calls. Now suddenly at the end of a week, I feel way, way different. I feel way more
    0:23:17 uplifted by the entire week. I show up better on those calls, the outcomes are better, that compounds
    0:23:23 in your life. The insight there is, that’s one example of a way where you would say, “Oh, I have
    0:23:27 no control. I’m working a nine to five and normal job.” But you have more control than you think.
    0:23:32 You just have to be willing to scrutinize a little bit some of the activities and ask,
    0:23:36 “Can I do these a little bit differently than I currently am?” Yeah, I love that. Energy calendar
    0:23:42 is such a great hack. Okay, so let’s talk about your entrepreneurship. You have a media business
    0:23:47 and I want to stick there for a little bit. Start it off with this newsletter. Talk to us
    0:23:52 about how you first became an entrepreneur. What was the first thing you did as an entrepreneur?
    0:23:57 I laugh about this a lot because my most entrepreneurial friends, and I’m lucky to have
    0:24:02 some incredible friends out there, when you go ask them what their journey with entrepreneurship was,
    0:24:06 most of them will be like, “Well, when I was eight years old, I started this lemonade stand.”
    0:24:10 And then it was a lemonade enterprise across multiple times. I just dicked around when I was
    0:24:14 a kid. I played baseball. I was just screwing around. I didn’t have an entrepreneurial bone
    0:24:19 in my body. My dad is a professor. The least entrepreneurial track you can follow. And so
    0:24:24 we didn’t have it in our blood in any way. So when I was thinking about leaving my old job
    0:24:29 to pursue this entrepreneurial path, that was weird. I didn’t have a supportive family around
    0:24:33 that telling me, “Oh, you should definitely do that.” My wife was very supportive, but
    0:24:37 to be honest, I didn’t know if I could do it. I didn’t even know what entrepreneurship really
    0:24:43 meant. And if I can do it, anyone can do it because I was not wired for this. It wasn’t like
    0:24:53 I was a great risk taker. I’m very risk averse. The insight I have around this is you can’t plan
    0:24:56 entrepreneurship. The whole idea in business school, you went to business school. The whole
    0:25:00 idea of creating a business plan is sort of a joke. You don’t need to create a business plan
    0:25:05 to go launch your first thing. You need to create evidence. You need to create evidence that you
    0:25:10 can do it, which is just done by taking a little bit of action. You have to go and do the thing.
    0:25:13 You can’t talk about the thing or brainstorm the thing. You have to go do the thing.
    0:25:19 And that was all I did. I started writing the newsletter in May of 2021. And there was no
    0:25:25 monetization plan. There was no strategy to it. I just started writing it. And by the end of that
    0:25:31 month, I had 15,000 or so subscribers. And I sent a text to a founder of a startup that I knew
    0:25:36 and asked if he would want to sponsor one. And he said, sure. And I think he gave me $500 to
    0:25:40 put out the first sponsorship. And that was this little bit of evidence that I created that I was
    0:25:46 like, oh, man, okay, so I’m sending one a week and it’s making me $500. What if I send two a week?
    0:25:51 Now it’s going to be $1,000 a week, $4,000 a month. I was like, man, if I scale it,
    0:25:56 if I grow the new, like I started to see a path. And I don’t know if you know the ancient poet,
    0:26:04 Rumi once said, as you start to walk on the way, the way appears. As you start to walk on the way,
    0:26:09 the way appears. And I love that because what it reminds you, especially as an entrepreneur,
    0:26:14 is that you cannot figure it out standing still. You start to walk and then the path becomes clear.
    0:26:19 And so that was really the story for me. With anything that I’ve done, it’s been,
    0:26:24 I start moving, I start doing something, whatever bad version of it looks like. And then the answer
    0:26:30 start to become clear to me. Yeah. So it goes back to following your energy. You followed your energy,
    0:26:35 you found the evidence, you tried to replicate what was working, and then you felt more comfortable,
    0:26:40 you probably got more motivated because you saw some success and it gave you some more motivation
    0:26:46 to keep going and going. Motivation is a byproduct of movement. Yeah. Your energy that you put out
    0:26:51 into the world literally creates it. So the whole idea of you need to be motivated to act is actually
    0:26:55 the inverse. You need to act and then you become motivated. So you mentioned that you’re not
    0:27:00 naturally an entrepreneur. We’re opposites. I’m the type of person who is creating businesses at
    0:27:06 four years old. I’m jealous. I’m jealous. I’ve always been an entrepreneur. So not being naturally
    0:27:11 an entrepreneur, and I’m sure there’s plenty of people listening in that want to be entrepreneurs,
    0:27:16 but feel like I just have always worked a regular job. I’ve never even thought about being an
    0:27:21 entrepreneur, but I want the freedom. What do you think the hardest obstacles are going to be for
    0:27:26 them and how did you overcome your hardest obstacles? The single greatest obstacle I have
    0:27:31 faced and that I think most people face when they dive into the entrepreneurial journey is
    0:27:37 they overcomplicate what it means to be an entrepreneur. All it means is that you are going
    0:27:42 to solve problems for people. You are going to create value for people via solving their problems,
    0:27:49 and you will get paid. You will receive value in return. Overcomplicating that, thinking about
    0:27:53 all of these things around structure and business plans and all of these big questions that you
    0:27:58 can get bombarded by on social media is actually losing sight of the most important thing. The
    0:28:02 most important thing is just figure out how to create value for other people. If you do that,
    0:28:07 you’ll receive value in return. All it comes down to is that it is identify a problem,
    0:28:12 create a solution, and then scale that solution. The more scalable the solution,
    0:28:17 the more money you will make. If you distill it down to that and deconstruct it down to that,
    0:28:22 it actually feels quite simple because then it’s one of those three things that you need to be
    0:28:25 thinking about. When you’re starting and you’re trying to find your journey and what you might
    0:28:30 be interested in, all you need to focus on is identifying problems. Literally take out a notepad,
    0:28:34 walk around for a week, and just write down every problem you perceive of the people around you
    0:28:38 that you’re interacting with. That’s literally the first place I would start if I wanted to go
    0:28:42 create a new business and I didn’t know what to do. Just identify problems. Then once you’ve done
    0:28:47 that, start to think about solutions. How might you be able to solve that problem for that person,
    0:28:51 whether it’s with a service or a product or something you can put out? Then think about
    0:28:54 how you would scale that solution. How would you reach more people? How would you make the solution
    0:28:58 more scalable through the internet, through social, through whatever it is, whatever means?
    0:29:04 But that’s what it all comes down to. That is what stalls a lot of people is they overcomplicate
    0:29:10 it so then they do nothing. Once you have your business idea, it’s all about focus and consistency,
    0:29:15 putting in the reps, getting the work done. When you work a nine to five, you’ve got a boss telling
    0:29:21 you it’s used with priorities, spend your time this way. You know what to do. You might even be
    0:29:25 taking over a job from somebody else who does exactly what you need to do. As an entrepreneur,
    0:29:31 you need to create your day job. How do you recommend that people go about that when they’re
    0:29:35 used to so much structure? You have to create your own structure. I think what you’ve hit on
    0:29:40 there is actually the biggest challenge for most people when they actually do start, when they do
    0:29:45 take the leap and they’re diving into it is you’ve known historically exactly what you had to do at
    0:29:49 all times of the day. You knew what meetings, what work you had to do, what emails you had to send,
    0:29:55 and now no one is telling you what to do. I think the first activity I would go through is to actually
    0:30:00 create a clear routine and structure to your day. I do that straight into the calendar because I
    0:30:06 think that your energy will really flow with what you put onto your calendar. Your priorities are
    0:30:11 really just an outflow from your calendar. Keith Roboy, the famous investor said, “Don’t tell me
    0:30:16 your priorities. Show me your calendar.” I love that quote because it’s true. You can’t say your
    0:30:20 priorities are building a business and then your calendar is a whole bunch of busy work meetings.
    0:30:23 You need to have time on their structure to actually work on the things that matter.
    0:30:29 Structure your day. Become a disciplined routine person for a period of time where you
    0:30:33 really break down your day according to the type of activity that you’re going to be doing during
    0:30:38 that window. It’s called time blocking. It works really well. It doesn’t need to be down to the
    0:30:44 minute, but have windows of time. If you know, for example, that you are very creative early in the
    0:30:49 morning, wake up and have a block of time for creative work. If part of your business is going
    0:30:54 to be creating content to drive the top of funnel like it is for us and you’re most creative in the
    0:30:57 morning, you should probably have a window of time in the morning when you are focused on creating
    0:31:02 content, creating things that are going to drive that top of funnel. Have a window of time when
    0:31:07 you’re going to be processing emails and doing basic management tasks like invoices or meetings,
    0:31:14 whatever those might be. But have real structure on a daily basis and then you won’t feel that
    0:31:20 anxiety and aimlessness that naturally happens. I’ve written this before that stress and anxiety
    0:31:28 feed on idleness. When you take action, when you have movement, you literally starve them of the
    0:31:33 oxygen they need to breathe. When in doubt, you just have to act. You have to have that clear
    0:31:38 structure so that you know you’re doing something throughout the day. I feel like time blocking
    0:31:45 on your calendar is just such a life hack. I’ve now scaled this to my team. You’re probably familiar
    0:31:51 with Leila Hermosi. She’s got this thing called Monday Hour and Chill. Monday Hour, One Hour and
    0:31:56 Chill or something like this. They have an SOP online if you guys want to find it. Basically,
    0:32:01 it’s like for one hour a week, you sit down with your team and everybody time blocks their calendar,
    0:32:07 color codes it based on the activity and then shares it with their manager. It helps me see,
    0:32:13 okay, why are you working on this for three hours? You shouldn’t do this or you need to take a break.
    0:32:18 You have no breaks in your day or you’ve got too many calls and it just helps you see what
    0:32:22 everybody is working on because to your point, you can have to do lists and project management
    0:32:27 tools, but if what’s not on your calendar doesn’t reflect that, you’re not getting what you need
    0:32:32 to do done. I feel like it’s such a great hack that you brought that up. Yeah, that works well.
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    0:37:07 So it’s the start of the year right now. This is going to come out in February,
    0:37:11 but we’re talking now in January. And I learned that you have this annual tradition
    0:37:17 of asking people for advice. So talk to us about this tradition. How did you get started with it?
    0:37:23 And how has it evolved over time? I have always been someone that is rather reflective. I try to
    0:37:30 accumulate insights and wisdom from people who I feel have a lot of it. And I’ve been very fortunate
    0:37:35 to have a number of mentors and people in my life, many of whom are significantly older,
    0:37:39 some of whom are just a little bit older, but who have unique experiences and have
    0:37:45 taken the plunge in different ways in their life. And I like to, on an annual basis,
    0:37:50 create a reflection exercise where I go and ask them, what advice would they give to their younger
    0:37:56 self at whatever age I’m at? I kind of started when I was around 30. And I asked a whole bunch of
    0:38:00 people, what advice they would give to their 30 year old self? What do they wish they knew then
    0:38:09 that they know now? And it ends up creating this incredible map of how to live a life and a beautiful
    0:38:15 life. And so I share some of it in the book in this upfront section of, especially from this one
    0:38:21 year on my 30th birthday when I did it with all people that were 80 and 90 years old, actually
    0:38:29 like 100 year old. And it created this incredible clear vision in my mind of what matters and what
    0:38:33 doesn’t. The things that I was stressing over and how I need to just be able to look through those
    0:38:37 and see the bigger picture, see the real true north of what we are all trying to drive towards.
    0:38:40 And how did it end up influencing you to write this book?
    0:38:47 It was a huge part of creating this idea of the five types of wealth, of thinking about the fact
    0:38:52 that money was an enabler to a lot of the ends, but it was not an end in and of itself. In other
    0:38:58 words, money is a tool, but not the goal. And it brought to light the fact that there were really
    0:39:04 four things that kept coming up for everyone. It was time, people, purpose, and health. Those
    0:39:08 were the four things that everyone really focused on. And again, money was an enabler to some of
    0:39:14 those, but it wasn’t really an end in and of itself. And that ended up creating and being
    0:39:19 the early structure and skeleton of this idea of the five types of wealth. Financial wealth is one
    0:39:24 of the five types of wealth that is very important. But these other four of time wealth, of social
    0:39:29 wealth and of mental wealth and physical wealth are how that all got rounded out into this new
    0:39:35 scoreboard for your life. I want to stick on one of the types of wealth, time wealth, because I
    0:39:39 feel like that’s one that I haven’t really heard of. And so I’d love for you to break that down
    0:39:46 and how do we build it? Time wealth is the freedom to choose. It is all about having the freedom to
    0:39:51 choose how you spend your time, who you spend it with, where you spend it, when you trade it for
    0:39:56 other things. And it all starts with what we were talking about earlier, which is an awareness of
    0:40:02 time as your most precious asset. I often ask young people, would you trade lives with Warren
    0:40:08 Buffett? Think about it. Would you trade lives with Warren Buffett? He’s worth 130 billion dollars.
    0:40:12 He has access to anyone in the world. He flies around on Boeing business jets. He has houses
    0:40:16 all over the place. He reads and learns for a living, but you wouldn’t trade lives with him
    0:40:22 because he’s 95 years old. You would never trade the time you have left for 130 billion dollars.
    0:40:29 So you know your time has incalculable value. And yet on a daily basis, how much time are you
    0:40:34 really wasting? Scrolling on TikTok, flipping around on your phone, comparing yourself to other
    0:40:39 people, worrying about little busy work tasks, urgent things that don’t really matter, that
    0:40:44 aren’t driving you forward. We all do that. And so creating an awareness of just how important
    0:40:49 your time is, just how precious it is, is what allows you to then say, okay, I’m going to take
    0:40:54 this really seriously. I’m going to deploy my precious attention and energy into the few things
    0:40:58 and into the few relationships that really matter, that are really creating those outcomes in my life
    0:41:03 that I want. That is what time wealth is all about. It’s about deploying your attention and
    0:41:08 energy into the few things that really move you forward that really matter. I love that. Is there
    0:41:13 any sort of activity that you recommend to figure out what our priorities are? Yeah, there’s a few.
    0:41:17 And a few are shared in the book. The energy calendar is a great start for figuring out
    0:41:22 where am I getting my energy from so that I can focus in. There’s another one that actually comes
    0:41:28 from Warren Buffett, where he asks you to create a list of your 25 priorities in life. Go write down
    0:41:34 all of your priorities. And then he says, okay, now you have to circle only five of them. And you
    0:41:38 have to go and try to figure out on this long list of things you’ve just written down, what are the
    0:41:43 five things that actually matter? So now you have a list of five things circled and 20 things that
    0:41:48 you didn’t circle. And what he says is the five things you circled are your true priorities.
    0:41:53 Those are the things that you need to put energy towards. The other 20 things are your avoid at
    0:41:59 all costs list. Because every single ounce or energy that you put towards those is just a
    0:42:03 distraction. All of those things are just a distraction pulling you away from the things
    0:42:07 that are really going to drive the outcomes, the things that really matter. And so it’s a critical
    0:42:12 exercise for thinking about that exact thing of what does really matter and where do I need to
    0:42:17 avoid the distraction in life? Because that’s where we really get lost on these journeys is we get
    0:42:22 pulled by the little shiny object that’s floating over here when the thing right in front of us is
    0:42:25 the thing we need to hammer in on. I love that because it just goes to show that there’s things
    0:42:31 that you might want to do that seem really exciting that you would love to do if you had the time,
    0:42:35 but you’ve got to be able to say no, even if it’s something that you kind of want to do.
    0:42:42 And as entrepreneurs and as ambitious people in particular, we have a bad, bad tendency to take
    0:42:46 on too much. And when you take on too much, you aren’t actually getting more done, you’re getting
    0:42:50 less done because you’re pulling yourself away from the thing that’s really going to create the
    0:42:55 incredible outcomes. And so there’s a moment in every entrepreneur’s life, anyone who has achieved
    0:43:00 extraordinary success when they realized that actually they figured out what the one thing was
    0:43:05 that really mattered and they were going to put all their energy into that one thing and just keep
    0:43:10 chipping away at it over a long period of time. The whole idea of like, I’m going to have 15 income
    0:43:15 streams is a little bit of a farce because every single one of those is like you’re going to have
    0:43:19 a little bit of attention on each one of those rather than, okay, I’m going to have a lot of
    0:43:25 attention on two or three things that could be the really big one. Social wealth is another one of
    0:43:31 your elements when it comes to the new scoreboard that you’re putting out in your book. And as
    0:43:34 entrepreneurs, we can really suffer with our relationships. I remember when I first started
    0:43:40 my company at media, I worked for four years straight. I lost a lot of close friendships,
    0:43:45 we’re friends again, but I wasn’t talking to my best friends. I was with somebody for 10 years
    0:43:52 and we broke up and like just a lot of relationship shambles that I had to take a lot of time to like
    0:43:57 proactively rebuild in the last two years, right? And I had to basically start from scratch.
    0:44:02 So talk to us about relationships and in the context of entrepreneurship, what we need to keep
    0:44:09 in mind. There are going to be long periods of loneliness on your entrepreneurial journey.
    0:44:17 And that’s okay. That is a necessary cost of entry to the personal transformation that you
    0:44:23 are trying to create in your life because literally what happens is you start changing and growing
    0:44:28 as you were with the things you were building, the things you were focusing on and your environment
    0:44:33 that you previously existed in has not changed. And so there comes to a moment when it feels like
    0:44:37 you are actually speaking a different language than the people that you used to be close to.
    0:44:41 And they will not understand the way you were living and the things you were doing.
    0:44:46 And they may belittle you, they may tell you to be realistic, they may laugh at your ambitions.
    0:44:52 Taylor Swift once said, “The worst people in the world are the ones who make you feel bad for
    0:44:56 being excited about something.” I think about that all the time. There are people that have
    0:45:02 done that on your journey. We know who they are. So that period of loneliness before you have
    0:45:06 attracted new people, because you haven’t quite gotten to the place where you’re going, you haven’t
    0:45:12 attracted your new environment yet, is long and sometimes really painful. But understanding that
    0:45:18 it is the cost of entry for building the life you want allows you to feel empowered on that journey.
    0:45:22 Understand this is normal. This loneliness is actually a normal part of my entrepreneurial
    0:45:27 journey. That’s an important mindset shift that I have had to have and that I’ve shared with people
    0:45:33 along this path. All of that being said, the understanding that your life has seasons is
    0:45:37 critical here. You actually articulated it really well in describing your own journey, which is
    0:45:42 you went through this really focused part, this focused season as you were building the foundation
    0:45:46 for the rest of your life, building the foundation with your business, which you’ve now done. And
    0:45:50 you are now in a season where you can rekindle these new relationships and build this incredible
    0:45:56 social wealth. That is exactly how life works. Your 20s, early 30s, maybe into your 40s are
    0:46:01 really spent building this foundation. And that’s okay for social wealth to exist on the
    0:46:06 back burner during those times. It doesn’t mean you want it to completely shut off. It would still
    0:46:12 be great for you to be able to cultivate family relationships or one or two close friends during
    0:46:16 those periods, still send the text, still do the one annual trip, do the little thing, the tiny
    0:46:21 little investment that compounds, but you don’t need it to be the primary focus of your life
    0:46:27 at all times. The important realization there is that the exact same way we know that investing
    0:46:32 a little bit in financial wealth compounds into the future, the exact same principle holds for
    0:46:37 social wealth. You can invest a little bit in social wealth and still have it compound into
    0:46:42 the future. The little text that you send, the one coffee that you get with the old friend,
    0:46:47 the birthday with the parents, all of those things are tiny little time investments that really do
    0:46:52 keep those relationships flowing in a healthy way into the future. You don’t need to be the
    0:46:56 social butterfly life of the party during those years when you’re head down. It’s just true.
    0:47:01 And that’s okay. You can feel liberated by that idea of these seasons coming and going.
    0:47:06 One of the things that really impresses me about you is your huge network, right?
    0:47:11 We were talking offline before this interview. You just had dinner with Cody Sanchez yesterday
    0:47:17 and you always meet all these awesome people. What is your idea around mentorship and community
    0:47:24 with other entrepreneurs? I think the networking is dead. The concept of networking implies a
    0:47:31 transaction that is not conducive to building genuine relationships. What you are really seeking
    0:47:38 to do is build genuine connection with people. If you go into a new interaction with someone,
    0:47:43 trying to get something out of it, you will never build a real relationship with that person.
    0:47:47 Especially if that person is ahead of you. If it’s someone that has achieved the things that
    0:47:52 you’re looking to achieve because everyone can pick up on that. It is very blindingly obvious
    0:47:55 when you interact with someone that just has their hand out. They just want something from you.
    0:47:59 Now you experienced that on the other end of it. We’ve been that way in our own lives.
    0:48:06 It is such an important idea to say as you go into an interaction with someone for the first time,
    0:48:10 how would I interact with this person if I assumed that I was going to know them for the next 50
    0:48:15 years? Think about that in your mind. How would I interact with them? I would not be transactional
    0:48:18 with that person because I’m going to have to spend time with them for the next 50 years. I will
    0:48:24 probably really start to listen. I will really lean into understanding who they are as a person,
    0:48:28 creating a map in my mind of the type of things they’re excited about, the values that they hold.
    0:48:33 Those would be the things I would focus on. I would try to create value for them so that they felt
    0:48:37 connected to me in some way. Approaching relationships in that way where you are really
    0:48:43 genuinely seeking to give with no expectation of return. That is when you end up getting the
    0:48:48 best returns, which is the funny paradox of relationships. When you give with no expectation
    0:48:53 of return, you get the best returns in life. I have found that time and time again. Some of my
    0:49:01 mentors that have provided extraordinary value in my life are people that I didn’t even know
    0:49:05 they were impressive when we first met. I just wanted to be friends with different people. I
    0:49:10 was trying to learn from the people that were around me and it ended up sparking these incredible
    0:49:15 relationships because there was no networking in mind. It had nothing to do with a transaction.
    0:49:19 It was just I genuinely want to get to know people. Yeah, and like you said, people can feel
    0:49:24 that, right? Immediately, especially people who are very successful because again, it’s very lonely
    0:49:29 at the top. They are used to just having people come with a handout. If you want to stand out to
    0:49:33 those people and if you want to build those connections, you have to be the opposite. You
    0:49:37 have to be the person that comes with the thing. You’re providing the value. It’s the same as
    0:49:43 when people are trying to do cold outreach to get a job or to connect with someone. Come with
    0:49:50 some value and it’s not that hard to figure out how to create value. If I was trying to meet you,
    0:49:56 I could probably spend an hour doing some research about you and identifying a couple of areas that
    0:50:02 I know from you talking about it on podcasts or trying to focus on and build in your business.
    0:50:06 I could do a little bit of research, figure that out, and then I could try to work on
    0:50:10 some sort of proposal or solution to that problem that you were facing. Maybe you’re saying you’re
    0:50:15 trying to build your podcast network and you’re trying to reach new potential podcasters. I could
    0:50:19 reach out to some of them, create some sort of connection there, recognize that I could make
    0:50:24 an intro and now I would come to you with some level of value. You would take me so much more
    0:50:28 seriously. Then if I just came being like, “Hey, I’d love to meet you. Pick your brain,” right?
    0:50:35 Totally. Jordan Harbinger was my early podcast mentor and when I first started podcasting,
    0:50:40 he was like top of the food chain. He knew everything about growing pot. He knew so much
    0:50:46 more than me and I really wanted him to be my mentor. I remember I would just every once in a
    0:50:50 while message him on Instagram. He came on my podcast. We kind of stayed in touch and I would
    0:50:56 just give him growth strategies. Hey, I just tested this new platform and I got paid this much per
    0:51:01 subscriber and it retained this much and I would just give him all this little information. Then
    0:51:05 finally, he was just like, “You really know what you’re talking about and you keep giving me really
    0:51:13 good advice. Let’s hop on a call.” Then one day, he was like, “Hala, my scriptwriter bailed on me.
    0:51:16 I think you’re really good at this stuff. Can you write me my ad?” I was like, “Sure,
    0:51:20 I’ll write you your ad.” I didn’t say, “Oh, it’s going to cost this much. I need this or that.”
    0:51:26 I just did it. Sent it to him before I knew it. We were taking calls. He was my mentor and that
    0:51:32 was that. We’re the closest industry friends. You really do, like you said, have to try to provide
    0:51:38 some value and try to actually connect with people. Yeah. That is something that in hindsight,
    0:51:44 people will call you lucky. You’re so lucky for having Jordan Harbinger be your mentor and be a
    0:51:49 connection that you have. There’s no luck involved in that. You were hustling for a year. I say this.
    0:51:55 I’m like, “You are one year of focus away from people calling you lucky.” You putting in focus
    0:52:01 daily effort for a year led to the luck that other people see on the surface. It’s just the truth.
    0:52:04 You continue to put forward the effort. You continue to put forward the hustle, the energy,
    0:52:10 the motion, and now the lucky thing happens. Yeah. But then when you do secure the mentor,
    0:52:14 it can help you speed along so far. Because then once you trusted me and was like, “Okay,
    0:52:18 you help me. I’m going to start giving you some insights of how to rank your podcast,
    0:52:23 how to do this, how to do that, really helped me.” You talk about something called a brain trust.
    0:52:32 What’s that? Similar idea. Basically, the idea is that mentorship is a fading or dying concept.
    0:52:36 It’s funny. We just talked about mentorship. I would argue what we’re really talking about is
    0:52:42 more the brain trust. A mentor, in the traditional sense of the word, is the idea that you would
    0:52:48 identify a single person who was going to be your mentor. They were going to help you navigate all
    0:52:51 of the challenges in your professional career that you were going to face, and maybe your
    0:52:58 personal life as well. That is a crazy concept because it implies that there is a single person
    0:53:03 out there who has all of the answers that can help you navigate the terrain that you are facing,
    0:53:09 that their map will match your terrain. It implies a really high level of commitment on
    0:53:14 that person’s part to be willing to do that. It sounds like a big burden. If you go ask someone,
    0:53:18 “Will you be my mentor?” Oh, that sounds like a lot of work, especially if it’s someone high
    0:53:24 up that has a demanding job or demanding path. I think of the concept of the brain trust as
    0:53:31 the 21st century alternative to the 20th century idea of mentorship. A brain trust is a group of
    0:53:37 people from different backgrounds and experience sets that you can call upon for advice or guidance
    0:53:41 about different areas of your life. They are people that have ideally domain expertise in
    0:53:46 these different areas that you can turn to at different inflection points in your own life
    0:53:50 and journey. The origin of the concept is from Pixar. They do a brain trust for every movie
    0:53:54 that they are creating. It’s a bunch of people that aren’t involved in the creation of the movie,
    0:53:59 that pressure test and help make the movie better along the way. They make sure that the storyline
    0:54:04 is good and that they’re tugging on hard strings the right way, all of those things. You can develop
    0:54:08 a brain trust for your own life. It doesn’t need to be formal. No one needs to know they’re even
    0:54:13 a part of your brain trust, but they’re people that you go and call upon whenever you’re facing
    0:54:18 whatever challenge, who have that unique set of insights, who have that perspective and who are
    0:54:23 willing to tell you the truth, give you the hard feedback along the way. You know what’s funny?
    0:54:28 Psychologically, people love to give advice. If you don’t overstep this, if you’re not asking
    0:54:33 somebody a question every day, but it’s somebody that you respect, that you want to have in your
    0:54:38 life and you’re asking them some advice, you connect with them and that actually probably
    0:54:43 strengthens your bond over time and makes sure that your network is warm and all the people that
    0:54:50 you want to keep warm stay warm. It’s an easy way to naturally stay in touch with people that you
    0:54:54 want to stay in touch with. Someone that you have connected with once or twice and you want to continue
    0:54:59 to foster the connection, the relationship, the same way you did with Jordan, it’s an easy way to
    0:55:05 say, “Hey, this thing came up. Have you ever faced anything like this?” You create a natural
    0:55:10 touch point and it could end up being like once a quarter or once every six months. It doesn’t need
    0:55:15 to be so often because they’re not your only person. You can turn to other people along the way,
    0:55:20 but it’s been a great practice for me and the people that I would consider to be on my brain
    0:55:25 trust, I’ve just gotten so much value from them over the years. Let’s move on to financial wealth.
    0:55:28 So, we talked about your business ecosystem a little bit. You’ve got a media business,
    0:55:33 you’ve got a holding company, you’ve got a fund, right? So, talk to us about the different elements
    0:55:39 of your business and how you prioritize them. So, the media business I think of is existing
    0:55:44 sort of over the top of everything. It’s a little bit of a halo in that it provides value to all
    0:55:49 the other businesses. It is a self-sustaining business that is profitable and as we all know,
    0:55:54 media businesses can be very profitable and very high margin. The media business functionally
    0:55:59 today is newsletter and book. There are a few other things that exist in there and there will
    0:56:04 be more things that get added there post the book, but it’s really just been those to date.
    0:56:12 The holding company is a number of partially owned businesses that have CEOs that are running them.
    0:56:16 And these are businesses that I am involved in at a board or strategic level, but not on an
    0:56:21 operational level on a day-to-day basis. The entire idea there was to create businesses around
    0:56:27 things that I could naturally drive value to via my media platform. So, things that I have
    0:56:32 sort of a unique set of experiences in that I can naturally drive leads towards. So, it would be
    0:56:39 like newsletter businesses or design development businesses, other things within those spaces.
    0:56:46 Those all have profitable financial profiles. So, none of them have been like money losing
    0:56:51 venture-like investments. They’re all profitable from day one, largely bootstrapped. A couple of
    0:56:55 them have been things that we’ve seeded, but generally speaking, bootstrapped and they shoot
    0:56:59 off distributions every single month and their cash flow straight up back to the holding company,
    0:57:03 which is great because then you can reinvest across different things. And then the venture fund,
    0:57:08 I raised that in 2022. I had worked in the world of investing for the first seven years of my career,
    0:57:13 mostly later stage private equity stuff. This is all early stage technology companies. So,
    0:57:19 I raised a $10 million venture fund from a whole bunch of LPs and investors and have been investing
    0:57:24 out of that, have made 50 or so investments and will likely raise a second fund here in the next
    0:57:32 year or so. We’ll be right back after a quick break from our sponsors. Hey, YapBam. I’ve been
    0:57:37 counting down the days to Valentine’s Day because on that day, I’ll be speaking at Funnel Hacking
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    0:59:10 description box and that’s NordVPN.com/profit. I really want to dig deep on the holding company.
    0:59:15 It’s really interesting to me. Something that I learned that you do is you tend to use vendors
    0:59:20 that you actually use that you might like actually pay. You try to turn those cost
    0:59:24 centers into profit centers. And I just thought that was so smart. So walk us through how you
    0:59:30 actually invest in these companies. Do they exist already? Are you creating these companies?
    0:59:35 What’s the structure typically look like? I remember coming across the case study of Amazon
    0:59:43 web services in maybe like 2018, 2019. And for those who aren’t familiar with that story, basically,
    0:59:48 Bezos, as they were building Amazon, the bookstore and the e-commerce platform,
    0:59:55 had to build an extraordinarily large platform of compute power basically on the back end to
    1:00:00 power the entire e-commerce business that they were doing. And so they built this whole back
    1:00:04 end thing that was a huge cost center for the business. And what they realized was that there
    1:00:11 were a lot of people, as the technology ecosystem grew, that needed that type of enormous compute
    1:00:16 power. And so they started renting it out, effectively charging people to use this
    1:00:21 extraordinary compute power that they had created. That became an enormous profit center for Amazon
    1:00:26 now in the hundreds of billions of dollars. That is a separate company called Amazon Web Services.
    1:00:32 That idea sparked in me whether there was a micro, micro, micro version of that same thing
    1:00:36 that I could adopt in my own world, where things I was spending money on on an ongoing
    1:00:40 monthly basis as a creator and as a business person could be things that I could turn into
    1:00:46 profit centers for my business. So turn my cost centers into profit centers. And that has been
    1:00:51 an overarching mental model of how we’ve approached our different businesses that we’ve launched.
    1:00:56 The first example of that was a newsletter business where I was paying a team to manage
    1:01:01 the back end of my newsletter. So I decided all I want to do is write the newsletter. I don’t want
    1:01:05 to deal with lead magnets. I don’t want to deal with paid ads. I don’t want to deal with segmentation,
    1:01:09 funnels, any of those things. I’m just not good at that and I don’t really care. So I’m going to pay
    1:01:14 someone to do it. That team turned out to be really good at doing that. And so I went and partnered
    1:01:19 with them and a friend of mine who is a founder of a business called Kit, which is a newsletter
    1:01:25 sending platform. Yeah, ConvertKit. And we partnered to launch this as a business. I continue to pay
    1:01:30 them every single month to do the back end of my newsletter. And now it is also a massively
    1:01:35 profitable business. I shouldn’t say massively. It is a very profitable business where we serve
    1:01:39 the back end of newsletters for some of the largest newsletter writers out there in the world,
    1:01:44 turning a cost center for me into a profit center for me. Similar versions of that across
    1:01:50 different areas of my business have materialized over the last two or three years. Content agency
    1:01:55 business, design development business, video businesses, embedded talent business that if
    1:02:00 you need to hire offshore talent into your business will do that. And it has become a really cool way
    1:02:06 of coming up with the ideas for the things because I can see them on my own P&L. I’m looking at my
    1:02:10 P&L. I can see what I’m spending money on and thinking, okay, is there a way where I can actually
    1:02:15 own the business rather than just having this be a cash outflow every month? Yeah. I feel like
    1:02:20 entrepreneurs that come from the private equity space like you and Cody Sanchez, you’ve got such
    1:02:26 an advantage over everyone because you really know how to buy companies. So just walk us through
    1:02:32 the process of how you’re actually doing this. Are you just investing in these companies or just
    1:02:36 buying these companies? Are you creating some of these companies? It could be any of those. So it
    1:02:41 depends where you catch them in the life cycle. In the case of the newsletter one, that was a
    1:02:45 brand new business. That was a guy I was friends with who was just doing this on the back end for
    1:02:50 me as a consultant. And he was just an independent freelance consultant doing it. Got it. And I said,
    1:02:55 we should productize this and make it into a service and a real business. And so we founded
    1:03:00 that from the ground up. There are examples now of businesses like the design development business
    1:03:06 where you can make an investment both in cash and then also in the form of your platform. So
    1:03:11 when I say that, what I mean is I can drive a lot of leads to these businesses via my platform.
    1:03:16 That is a form of investment in this person’s business that they’ve already started. And so
    1:03:22 you can do a combination kind of structure of cash plus my energy, my platform, audience,
    1:03:26 distribution, if you will, that you can kind of invest in it. The third way that you could
    1:03:31 do it is just go buy a business. And Cody obviously does that. I will do more of that
    1:03:35 in the years to come at the holding company level that will sort of use holding company cash flows
    1:03:40 to go buy bigger businesses. And we can raise quite easily probably anything up to like $50
    1:03:46 million to go and buy a bigger business if we saw something that was really exciting where we felt
    1:03:51 like we could really bring unique value add to the table. If somebody wants to learn more about
    1:03:56 how to buy companies, what do you suggest? There’s a lot of resources out there now for learning
    1:04:03 about buying businesses. I would definitely go and read a bunch of the books that exist about
    1:04:07 private equity on like the more traditional versions of private equity. There’s a great
    1:04:12 book called King of Capital about Steve Schwartzman, who was kind of the first person within private
    1:04:16 equity world that really built Blackstone, which is a huge private equity fund. Cody obviously
    1:04:21 has a new book out about buying smaller businesses and sort of main street businesses, which is a
    1:04:26 great resource. But there’s plenty of free online resources that you can go and look at and find
    1:04:32 about investing in buying businesses. And again, the thing to think about is are there creative
    1:04:38 ways that you can do it? And if you have a platform or if you have built some unique distribution or
    1:04:43 some unique strategic perspective, or if you have a unique SEO capability or unique paid
    1:04:49 marketing capability, there’s a way where you can actually invest via your energy rather than cash.
    1:04:55 So the art of the deal, if you will, is really about identifying what is that unique edge that
    1:05:01 you might have to make this business bigger than it is today, where you can invest that into the
    1:05:06 business in addition to or instead of any upfront capital. And I love that you take the approach
    1:05:10 of being a customer first, so you really can see how well the company performs if they’re really good
    1:05:16 and then you invest. I just think that’s so smart. It opened my eyes of like, oh, maybe I can invest
    1:05:21 in XYZ vendor. Yeah, I mean, you probably have, I bet there are 10 businesses that you’ll think of
    1:05:25 over the next month now that you have this in mind that you’ll see and say, oh, I could probably
    1:05:30 actually like invest in this or be a part of it and drive business into it. That as just an idea
    1:05:37 comes from Peter Lynch is this very famous Wall Street legend who wrote this book, I think it’s
    1:05:42 called One Up on Wall Street. One of the best investing books of all time. It’s sort of a legendary
    1:05:47 one. And one of his best investments of his career was he invested in Haynes, the underwear company,
    1:05:52 and he invested in it because his wife came home from CVS or something and she had picked up a pair
    1:05:58 of Keynes pantyhose and she was raving about it to him. And so he was like, oh, I’m going to go pick
    1:06:02 up some shares of that company. She was raving about this like tiny little company and he ended up
    1:06:07 making like an a hundred X return on this public market investment. And so the idea there was
    1:06:12 like invest in things you love. If you uniquely love an experience or a product, it’s probably
    1:06:16 going to be something that ends up being profitable. So speaking of investments, you’ve got this barbell
    1:06:21 strategy when it comes to your investments. Can you tell us about that? The barbell strategy
    1:06:27 as a model says that on a risk spectrum, if you think about the most risky things on one end and
    1:06:32 the least risky things on the other end, that you want to be weighted on both of those ends.
    1:06:36 So I basically want to have a handful of things that are highly risky. And for me, the highly
    1:06:41 risky things are investments in myself and in my own businesses. And then on the other end,
    1:06:47 it’s going to be super boring, basic stuff. For me, stock market index funds. I don’t want
    1:06:52 things in between that I don’t really understand. My whole goal is I really only want to invest in
    1:06:57 things that I can really touch and feel and understand. And so the riskiest stuff is always
    1:07:02 going to be creating your own businesses. And the fun thing about that as risky is that you
    1:07:08 actually control it to an extent versus me investing in, let’s take another really risky
    1:07:13 thing like crypto. I don’t control the price of Bitcoin or Ethereum or whatever. I don’t control.
    1:07:18 And so yes, it might be a great investment, but I have no ability to influence the outcomes.
    1:07:21 I have a high degree of ability to influence the outcomes of my own businesses,
    1:07:26 things that I am actually driving. And so I would prefer to invest my time and energy into
    1:07:31 things that I have some degree of controller over. And if I don’t have a degree of control over them,
    1:07:36 I want them to be super safe and basic and boring. And so that’s why for me, the best
    1:07:40 plan is that it’s the personal things that I do that I have control over on the riskier end.
    1:07:45 And then I’m putting money in the Vanguard S&P 500 index fund on the other side.
    1:07:51 So let’s go back to your five types of wealth. There’s a lot of balancing that needs to go on.
    1:07:57 And I learned that you used to drink a lot. You decided to cut back on your drinking,
    1:08:03 but you’re not totally cutting drinking off. You still actually drink in some social situations.
    1:08:10 So you are basically balancing your physical wealth with your social wealth and doing trade-offs
    1:08:16 sometimes. So maybe talk to us about some examples of trade-offs between the different
    1:08:24 types and how we can think about balance. All of life is about deciding the price you are willing
    1:08:32 to pay for the things that you want. And what I would argue is that to perfectly optimize
    1:08:38 any one area of this, you would need to completely shut off every other area.
    1:08:43 And some people do that. And most people that do that do it to perfectly optimize financial wealth
    1:08:48 at the expense of every other area of their life. They lose all their relationships. Their health
    1:08:53 goes to hell. They have no clarity of mind. They’re stressed all the time. They have no time,
    1:08:58 freedom, and they make a lot of money, but an extraordinarily high cost to these other areas.
    1:09:03 What I try to find is what is the place where I’m able to build across all of these things,
    1:09:08 where I am able to build great big businesses, but not at the expense of not being able to spend
    1:09:13 time with my wife and son, not at the expense of not having time to work on my body or take care
    1:09:18 of myself or have the freedom to take my son in the pool at 1 p.m. on a Wednesday. I’ve written
    1:09:23 that before that the wealthiest I ever feel is when I’m able to take my son swimming at 1 p.m.
    1:09:28 on a Wednesday. Because it implies that I have the freedom to do that, that I have a business
    1:09:33 that’s big enough, that’s working where I’m able to have free time. I don’t have calls all of a
    1:09:37 sudden in the middle of the day. I can go do that. You are always going to face these trade-offs,
    1:09:42 and what you need to decide is what trade-offs are you willing to make. Not the ones that people
    1:09:46 tell you you should make, not the ones that the normal path says are the ones that matter,
    1:09:52 but what you truly care about. If all you care about is building an enormous business,
    1:09:55 that’s great. I’m happy for you, and you should build your life around that.
    1:09:59 But the point in the book and the point that I’m trying to get across with everything that I do
    1:10:05 is you get to decide. You get to define what matters to you in your own life, and you have to
    1:10:10 ask these questions, and then take action to build your life around those things. It’s no one else’s
    1:10:16 job to tell you what matters to you. You get to decide, and that I think is the really important
    1:10:21 critical message in all of this. It’s just I want people to identify and really think about
    1:10:24 what matters to them, and then go build their life around those things.
    1:10:29 I love this conversation. The last thing I want to touch on on your book is mental wealth.
    1:10:33 I know that a lot of entrepreneurs struggle with their mental health. Actually, on average,
    1:10:39 we’re more likely to suffer from depression, loneliness, ADHD. There’s a lot of mental health
    1:10:44 issues in entrepreneurship. It’s just an uncertain, risky thing to do, and it’s very stressful.
    1:10:49 So what advice do you have for entrepreneurs in terms of building their mental wealth?
    1:10:55 Create more space in your life. Create deliberate practices around space.
    1:11:00 The idea of space comes from Victor Frankel, who is the famous Holocaust survivor, the author of
    1:11:06 Man’s Search for Meaning, and he has a quote where he says that our power exists in the space
    1:11:12 that we can create between stimulus and response. Entrepreneurs in particular live in this constant
    1:11:17 loop where stimulus is coming in and they’re immediately responding to it at all hours of the
    1:11:22 day, at all times. That is a very dangerous place to be because it makes you reactive.
    1:11:26 Everything in your life becomes a reaction. There’s just things coming in and you’re immediately
    1:11:32 shooting things out. You find incredible power and presence if you can just create a little bit of
    1:11:38 space between the two. That can be found through a five-minute walk in between meetings or a 15-minute
    1:11:44 walk after lunch or taking one day per month to just zoom out and go journal for a few hours at a
    1:11:50 coffee shop or just making sure you give yourself one evening a week where you’re not going to work.
    1:11:56 Creating a little bit of space in your life has dramatic, dramatic effects, but you have to be
    1:12:00 deliberate in how you structure it into your life. It can’t be something that’s floating in the back
    1:12:05 of your mind. To the point earlier on time blocking and structuring, put it on your calendar. Actually
    1:12:10 have a window where you’re going to create space. You cannot be on your phone scrolling during that
    1:12:16 time. It needs to be truly shut off and just give yourself that freedom to just turn off.
    1:12:20 For a short window of time and you’ll experience incredible benefits.
    1:12:22 How do you do that? What’s your schedule like?
    1:12:26 Five-minute walks in between meetings. If you have a bunch of 30-minute meetings on your calendar,
    1:12:31 make them all 25 minutes. This is actually scientifically proven. Microsoft did a study
    1:12:36 where they put EEGs on people’s heads and had them go through a set of back-to-back meetings
    1:12:41 or a set of meetings where they had a five-minute break in between each. The people that went through
    1:12:47 back-to-back meetings saw stress build up steadily across the meetings and performance deteriorated
    1:12:51 across the meetings. The people that had a five-minute break, zero stress build up and
    1:12:57 consistent performance. It makes an enormous difference with a tiny intervention. 25-minute
    1:13:02 meetings instead of 30. Honestly, all that happens is you remove the banter about the weather that
    1:13:05 meetings start with. You just can get rid of that. You’ll be more efficient. You’ll get it done.
    1:13:10 The second practice, which I walk through in the book, is once a month or once a quarter
    1:13:16 at a minimum. Do what I call a think day, where you give yourself a four- to eight-hour window
    1:13:22 to step out of your normal ecosystem, go into a new environment, whether it’s at a coffee shop,
    1:13:28 or rent an Airbnb, or go to a hotel, or go to a spa, do something. Bring a journal, bring a pen,
    1:13:32 and walk through. I have eight question prompts in the book. Walk through some of those question
    1:13:37 prompts that force you to zoom out and just look at the bigger picture of the things you’re doing,
    1:13:42 professionally and personally. That will naturally create this incredible ritual for
    1:13:46 space in your life. If you do the micro level of the five-minute breaks and if you do the macro
    1:13:50 level of a think day once a month or once a quarter, you’ll get a ton of benefit.
    1:13:57 I find when I step back and do a strategy day, you call it a think day, I call it a strategy day,
    1:14:02 my stress and anxiety as an entrepreneur just melts away. Suddenly, it’s like all these open
    1:14:06 loops, all these things should I do, this should I do that. You make decisions, you have your road
    1:14:11 map and you could just action on it instead of worrying about things so much. I’ve always thought
    1:14:17 that you have stress when there’s a gap between your present reality and your expectations,
    1:14:23 but in particular, when you don’t have a plan to bridge that gap. That strategy day or that
    1:14:28 think day allows you to create that plan for bridging the gap and then it just becomes about
    1:14:32 execution. You’re an entrepreneur. You know you can execute. You know you can show up and be
    1:14:37 disciplined and do the thing every day, do the hard thing. It just allows you to create enough
    1:14:41 space to create that plan and the stress, as you said, melts away. This is a perfect way to close
    1:14:46 out. We can bring it up right from the beginning. We were talking about waking up and doing hard
    1:14:51 things. Talk to us about your morning routine and how it structures your day. Yeah, I’m an early
    1:14:57 riser. I have a 90-year-old man schedule. I go to bed at about 8, 15, 8, 30 and I wake up at 4.
    1:15:02 I love the early morning hours because I’m partially because it’s the only time of day I get
    1:15:06 when there’s no stimulus. There’s nothing coming in. My kid’s not awake yet. I have a 2.5-year-old.
    1:15:11 He’s not up. You’re not getting emails. No one’s texting you at 4 in the morning. I get this two or
    1:15:16 three-hour block just to myself. I first thing out of bed, get into the cold plunge. I have no idea
    1:15:21 if it has any health benefits, but it definitely has cognitive benefits for me. I get an incredible
    1:15:25 energy boost from it and definitely a mood improvement from it. The dopamine, I think,
    1:15:31 really does impact me. I get out of the cold plunge and I’m usually at my desk by about 4.45
    1:15:36 or so. I always do a writing block to start the day. That’s when I feel most creative. This book
    1:15:41 got written from about 5 a.m. to 8 a.m. over the course of two or three years. After that,
    1:15:46 my son is awake. I would do breakfast with the whole family and then I go into my workouts from
    1:15:51 somewhere between 9.30 and 11.30. Amazing. It’s working really well for you.
    1:15:56 We’ll see. Okay. In my show with two questions, I ask all my guests. It doesn’t have to be
    1:16:00 related to what we talked about today. What is one actionable thing our young and
    1:16:03 profitors can do today to become more profitable tomorrow?
    1:16:12 I would create an evening three to five-minute journaling ritual. This reflection, I think,
    1:16:17 really helps you make more money, allowing yourself to just pause and reflect a bit.
    1:16:22 And the thing I do is I call it my one, one, one method. You write down one win from the day.
    1:16:25 That’s something that you feel good about that went well. One point of stress,
    1:16:29 tension, or anxiety, something that was bugging you that you need to get off your brain and onto
    1:16:33 the paper. And then one point of gratitude, something you felt grateful for during the day.
    1:16:38 It takes three to five minutes max and it forces you to recognize a win and just feel
    1:16:41 better before going to bed at the end of the day.
    1:16:45 I love that. What would you say your secret to profiting in life is and it doesn’t have to be
    1:16:52 financial? My relationship with my wife and son, for sure. I get more joy out of seeing him grow
    1:16:56 and the relationship that he and my wife have than just about anything else in the world.
    1:17:00 That’s so sweet. And where can everybody learn more about you and everything that you do?
    1:17:06 Well, you can find the book anywhere. Books are sold and more information at the5typesofwealth.com.
    1:17:09 And then I’m at Sahil Bloom on every major platform.
    1:17:13 Awesome. Sahil, it was such a pleasure. Thank you so much for joining us on Young and Profiting
    1:17:24 podcast. Thank you. Wow. So many thoughtful insights from Sahil. And I especially enjoyed
    1:17:30 how he thinks about time. Time is truly your most precious asset. But when you’re young,
    1:17:36 it’s also your only real asset. It can take years and years to accumulate money,
    1:17:42 connections and knowledge. And there’s no good shortcuts to acquiring those things.
    1:17:46 But when you have time in your back pocket and if you hustle and you work hard,
    1:17:52 you can trade time for all those things and more. You also have the freedom to choose how you will
    1:17:57 deploy your time. And if you want to make the most out of that freedom, then lean into what
    1:18:04 energizes you. Like Sahil put it, motivation is a byproduct of movement. In other words,
    1:18:09 you need to act first and then you will become motivated. And the energy you put into the world
    1:18:16 now is what will fuel your future efforts. Even if you’re rich in time and filled with energy,
    1:18:21 the entrepreneur’s path can still be an extremely lonely one. You may lose friendships,
    1:18:27 squander relationships, burn bridges and more bad things may happen for a while. Believe me,
    1:18:33 I’ve been there. But in the big picture, over time, you’re building a foundation for your business
    1:18:38 and for the rest of your life. Just be aware of the tradeoffs and what you’re compromising
    1:18:45 along the way. And remember, hustle is just for a season. Don’t put off spending time with your
    1:18:52 parents, your loved ones or friends for too long. Part of what makes time so precious is an understanding
    1:18:57 of its limits. Thanks for listening to this episode of Young and Profiting Podcast. If you
    1:19:02 listen and learn to profit from this conversation with Sahil and consider it time well spent,
    1:19:07 then please share the wealth and this episode with somebody who will find value in it too.
    1:19:12 And if you did enjoy this show and you learned something, then why not drop us a 5-star review
    1:19:19 on Apple Podcasts. I love to read your reviews. I read reviews every single day and nothing helps
    1:19:24 us reach more people than a good review from you. And if you’re a new listener of Young and Profiting,
    1:19:29 make sure that you subscribe to the podcast so you never miss an episode. If you want to watch
    1:19:34 us on video, you can find all of our episodes up on there. I’ve been doing a lot more in-person
    1:19:39 interviews with Mel Robbins. This interview with Sahil was in person, so go check out
    1:19:45 all of our awesome videos on YouTube. You can also find me on Instagram @yappwithhala or LinkedIn
    1:19:50 by searching my name. It’s @halataha. And of course, I gotta shout out my YAP team. I’ve got rock
    1:19:56 stars at YAP Media. Everybody is hustling and working so hard. You guys are the best. This is
    1:20:12 your host, Halataha, a.k.a. The Podcast Princess, signing off.
    1:20:21 [BLANK_AUDIO]

    Sahil Bloom felt empty despite crushing his career and financial goals. His health, relationships, and well-being were crumbling, until one conversation made him realize that at his current pace, he might see his parents only 15 more times before they passed. This realization hit like a punch in the gut. Within 45 days, Sahil quit his job, sold his house, and moved across the country. Free from corporate life, he started The Curiosity Chronicle, a newsletter with over 800,000 subscribers, where he shares insights on building a high-performing, healthy, and wealthy life. In this episode, Sahil breaks down the five types of wealth every entrepreneur should acquire and how to redefine success beyond money.

    In this episode, Hala and Sahil will discuss: 

    (00:00) Introduction 

    (01:14) Life Razor: A Simple Rule to Clarify Priorities

    (05:41) Breaking Free from Limiting Beliefs

    (07:38) Building Wealth but Feeling Empty

    (11:09) The Wake-Up Call That Shifted His Priorities

    (17:32) The Energy Calendar Hack to Maximize Time

    (21:26) Why Execution Beats Business Plans

    (27:03) Time Blocking Tips for Entrepreneurs

    (30:29) The Five Types of Wealth

    (40:35) Why a Brain Trust Is Better Than Mentorship

    (48:49) Turning Business Expenses into Profit

    (53:58) Unconventional Investment Strategies

    (59:32) Balancing Health, Wealth, and Well-being

    (01:06:31) Sahil’s Daily Routine for Productivity

    Sahil Bloom is an entrepreneur, investor, and writer focused on redefining wealth beyond money. A former private equity professional, he left the corporate world after a wake-up call that redefined his view of success. He now runs The Curiosity Chronicle, a newsletter with over 800,000 subscribers, sharing insights on entrepreneurship, investing, and personal growth. As a managing partner at SRB Ventures, he invests in early-stage startups and helps founders scale.

    Connect with Sahil:

    Website: sahilbloom.com/#Hero 

    LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/sahilbloom 

    Twitter: x.com/sahilbloom 

    Instagram: instagram.com/sahilbloom 

    YouTube: youtube.com/@Sahil_Bloom 

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    Resources Mentioned:

    Sahil’s Book, The 5 Types of Wealth: amzn.to/40XzrQL 

    Sahil’s Newsletter, The Curiosity Chronicle: bit.ly/3EsRmH5 

    King of Capital: The Remarkable Rise, Fall, and Rise Again of Steve Schwarzman and Blackstone by David Carey and John E. Morris: amzn.to/4hhG8Uo 

    One Up On Wall Street: How To Use What You Already Know To Make Money In The Market by Peter Lynch: amzn.to/4aFpVWT 

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    Social + Podcast Services: yapmedia.com 

    Transcripts – youngandprofiting.com/episodes-new

  • YAPCreator: Master Audience Engagement and Create Content That Clicks | Presented by OpusClip

    AI transcript
    0:00:06 Today’s episode is sponsored in part by Robinhood Airbnb Shopify RocketMoney NordVPN and Indeed.
    0:00:12 With Robinhood Gold, you can now enjoy the VIP treatment receiving a 3% IRA match on retirement
    0:00:20 contributions. To receive your 3% boost on annual IRA contributions, sign up at robinhood.com/gold.
    0:00:25 Hosting on Airbnb has never been easier with Airbnb’s new co-host network. Mind yourself
    0:00:32 a co-host at airbnb.com/host. Shopify is the global commerce platform that helps you grow your
    0:00:39 business. Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at Shopify.com/profiting. RocketMoney is a personal
    0:00:44 finance app that helps you find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending,
    0:00:51 and helps lower your bills. Sign up for free at rocketmoney.com/profiting. You need NordVPN to
    0:00:56 keep your credit card details safe, whether you’re shopping on international websites or using
    0:01:02 public Wi-Fi. To get the best discount off your NordVPN plan, go to nordvpn.com/profiting.
    0:01:08 Attract interview and hire all in one place with Indeed. Get a $75 sponsored job credit
    0:01:13 at indeed.com/profiting. Terms and conditions apply. As always, you can find all of our incredible
    0:01:18 deals in the show notes or at youngandproffiting.com/deals.
    0:01:35 Hey, Young and Profiters! Welcome to episode five of the Yap Creator series presented by OpusClip.
    0:01:39 In this series, we’re diving deep into the art and science of content creation,
    0:01:43 how to create, connect, and thrive as a modern-day content creator.
    0:01:47 Today we’re going deep into something that every content creator should master,
    0:01:52 understanding, and adapting to audience preferences. This is the heartbeat of effective content
    0:01:58 creation, the foundation of building a loyal, engaged community that feels connected to you
    0:02:03 and your brand. In this episode, I’ll break down why analyzing audience behavior is so critical,
    0:02:08 and I’ll give you actionable strategies to help you understand your audience and their preferences
    0:02:14 better. We’ll feature podcast guests like Ken Okazaki, Neil Patel, Julie Solomon,
    0:02:19 O.S. Perlman, and I’ll even share with you how we use audience insights at Yap to create content
    0:02:28 that’s relevant and impactful. Let’s get started! First things first, before you can forge a
    0:02:33 meaningful connection with an audience, you need to figure out who they are. As a content creator,
    0:02:38 understanding the balance between a broad and niche audience is crucial for growing your engagement
    0:02:43 and your business. Broad content allows you to reach a wider audience and potentially increase
    0:02:49 views and revenue, while niche content creates deeper and more meaningful connections with a
    0:02:54 dedicated community. The key is finding the balance that works for you, and whether you’re
    0:02:59 marketing a product, a service, or just yourself, it’s useful to start by thinking in terms of
    0:03:04 your TAM, or your total addressable market, but just how big or small should you start?
    0:03:09 This is what Neil Patel, an expert on digital marketing, told me about how he approaches
    0:03:18 a potential audience. What makes a good audience market to me is a big TAM. So, assuming you find
    0:03:21 something you’re passionate about by just through trial and error, you’ve got to make sure you’re
    0:03:27 focusing on a big TAM. Everyone says the riches are in the niches. That’s far from true. If you
    0:03:31 look at the majority of the large corporations out there, like Tesla’s, Automotive, right?
    0:03:36 People need cars in this world. If you look at Microsoft, everyone needs software to run these
    0:03:41 computers and digital devices that we’re on. If you look at Google, we’re relying on search for
    0:03:48 anything and someone organizing data and feeding it to us in a very organized fashion. If you look
    0:03:54 at Apple, we need all these hardware pieces that they’re selling from, headphones to cell phones
    0:03:58 to laptops, right? These are large markets. If you look again, look at the biggest companies
    0:04:04 in the world, they’re going after large markets and not niches. So, the key is to go after a big
    0:04:09 TAM. Now, you can start in a niche if you want and there’s nothing wrong with that, but you need
    0:04:15 to make sure that you can expand that niche into a large market because the amount of effort it takes
    0:04:22 to market a business, whether it’s on LinkedIn or any social platform or even SEO, for a niche
    0:04:27 compared to a large market is almost the same amount of effort. Sure, it’s harder in a large
    0:04:32 market. It takes longer to see results, but it’s the same process in the same time and energy that
    0:04:37 you’re putting into it. So, might as well go after something big because it’s very unrealistic to be
    0:04:42 in a niche and being like, you know what? I’m going to dominate this niche and gobble up 100% of the
    0:04:50 market share or even 20, 30%. That’s very hard to do. But on the flip side, it’s easier to say,
    0:04:56 hey, I’m going to go after this multi-billion-dollar market and I’m going to gobble up 0.1% of it,
    0:05:00 right? You gobble up even something small. That’s enough money where you’re generating
    0:05:04 millions of dollars where it’s meaningful, right? For example, if it’s a $10 billion market that
    0:05:11 you’re going after, you gobble up 0.1%, that’s big enough to create amazing life and a business.
    0:05:15 So, you’re saying you need a big, sort of more broad market. You don’t want to get
    0:05:20 two in the niches because they’re really hard to find. That’s like finding a needle in a haystack.
    0:05:25 When you’re a marketer, you want to find your audience in mass. You want to target them in
    0:05:29 mass. That’s how you’re going to target them in the cheapest way, the most effective way.
    0:05:33 If you have to find 10 people here, 10 people there, it’s like you are just going to exhaust
    0:05:40 yourself and it’s going to be very expensive. Exactly right. You need to go after a big market
    0:05:46 so that way you don’t have to have frequency issues of like, oh, I’ve shown my ad to 500 people.
    0:05:50 All right. How many more people can you show? Well, that’s my only audience or even 10,000
    0:05:56 people. It’s not enough. You need to go after the masses. Yeah. So, I know that you have a formula
    0:06:01 for marketing that you talk about. Could you break that down for us? Sure. So, number one,
    0:06:07 go after a really big tam. Once you have a big tam, then if you want to do well, you need to take
    0:06:15 an omnichannel approach from LinkedIn to Facebook to Instagram to WhatsApp marketing through text,
    0:06:22 through email marketing to SEO, to paid advertising. It doesn’t matter if you like paid ads on Facebook
    0:06:27 or not. If it’s profitable, it’s profitable. You got to keep leveraging it. And then from there,
    0:06:31 you got to figure out how to add in the upsells and downsells, because if you look at marketing
    0:06:36 over time, it continually costs more and more. So, you got to add in the upsells and downsells.
    0:06:40 In other words, build that funnel, figure out how to generate more revenue from that same customer.
    0:06:45 And if they’re buying more right at purchase, it allows you to spend more money on marketing,
    0:06:49 as well as figure out a way to generate reoccurring revenues.
    0:06:56 However broad or narrow you go with your potential audience and whatever channel
    0:07:01 you reach them through, remember that you are ultimately the one picking your audience. That’s
    0:07:08 right. Your audience is your choice. And building an audience is really its own kind of a business.
    0:07:13 In fact, none other than Mr. Side Hustle himself, Nick Loper, shared with me how he now considers
    0:07:19 building an audience on channels like YouTube to be one of the most promising side hustles around.
    0:07:26 Something that I read of yours that I thought was really interesting is that you actually consider
    0:07:32 a side hustle being growing an audience, right? You call it an audience business. So talk to us
    0:07:37 about why having an audience in itself can be a side hustle with multiple avenues.
    0:07:44 Yeah, this is probably tier three. Tier one services, tier two products. Tier three is this
    0:07:50 really flexible hybrid content-based business, audience-based business, where it could be a
    0:07:55 social following, it could be a blog following, a podcast following, a YouTube following.
    0:08:02 And once you have people paying attention, the entire playbook opens up. Sure, you could sell
    0:08:06 services, you could sell products, you could sell attention in the form of advertising or affiliate
    0:08:11 partnerships. But it really is a powerful place to play. And that’s really where I spent the bulk
    0:08:16 of my side hustle and entrepreneurial time over the last 10 years to try and figure out how to get
    0:08:21 more traffic, how to get more listeners, how to get more email subscribers and play in that space.
    0:08:29 Because the scale is almost infinite, right? It takes, as you know, the same effort and energy
    0:08:35 and investment to create an episode, a podcast episode that 10 people listen to or 10,000 people
    0:08:41 listen to or 100,000 people. And so it’s a really unique platform in that way and the same thing
    0:08:49 with social content or video content. Whatever content arena you decide to play in, it’s not
    0:08:54 just enough to turn up and churn out content. Julie Solomon, who’s the queen of influencer
    0:09:00 marketing and an expert on how to break through on platforms like Instagram, explains the critical
    0:09:05 distinction between simply creating content and producing content that genuinely drives results
    0:09:13 with your audience. When it comes to Instagram, because that’s really been my platform of choice
    0:09:18 since 2013. So I have been there through the ups and downs and the in-betweens. And I think that
    0:09:25 where most people get it wrong is that they get so lost in having to have to do it a certain way
    0:09:33 or trying to beat some kind of system or some kind of algorithm. And what I have noticed throughout
    0:09:38 a decade plus of supporting people on Instagram and coaching them in order to build a brand
    0:09:45 invisibility there is that, yes, it’s important to understand things like hashtags and SEO and
    0:09:51 viral hooks and all of those kinds of things. But really at the end of the day, it just comes down
    0:09:59 to do you have value-based content that is specifically talking to the person whose problem
    0:10:06 that you solve and are you showing up as an authority and as someone that can educate them
    0:10:13 as being that solution provider as consistently as possible. And most of the time, people aren’t
    0:10:17 doing that because they’re so focused on these things that really just don’t matter at the
    0:10:26 end of the day. And that’s why I have a lot of people that will come to me and it’s wild
    0:10:31 that they’ve got tens, if not hundreds of thousands of followers and they make no money.
    0:10:37 And I’m thinking, how do you have all this and you don’t make money? And it’s because
    0:10:42 maybe they figured out a way to go viral or maybe they figured out some kind of
    0:10:48 giveaway process to gain a following or maybe they did some collabs. But because they weren’t
    0:10:53 creating that value from the get-go, because they weren’t thinking about, what do I specialize in?
    0:10:57 What is my offer? Why do I want to pick up this phone and post something every day?
    0:11:01 It’s like they completely missed the boat. And before they know it, they’re three months in or
    0:11:05 three years in or 10 years in and then they come to me and they’re like, Julie, I don’t understand
    0:11:12 how I’ve kind of been trying to grow and piecemilling it together and maybe I’ve gotten to a thousand
    0:11:15 followers and nothing’s happening or maybe I’ve gotten to a hundred thousand followers, but still
    0:11:20 nothing’s happening because I’m not making any money. And so what’s happening here? And so I think
    0:11:25 that for growth on Instagram, you really have to think about that through line. Are you just
    0:11:31 creating content just to create content? Because that is just a hobby or are you actually creating
    0:11:36 content to solve a problem for somebody, to be of service to someone, to be a solution provider
    0:11:40 for someone? Because that’s how you actually end up monetizing it. And those are two completely
    0:11:45 different focuses. Totally agree with that. And also from a sponsorship perspective, it’s also
    0:11:50 important to think of this because if you’re just creating mindless content that’s going viral,
    0:11:56 maybe you’re reposting viral videos and you’ve got this huge broad audience, but nobody knows
    0:12:01 what you stand for. You’re not the actual influencer. Your content went viral. You didn’t
    0:12:06 necessarily go viral. Your ideas and your products and services didn’t necessarily go viral. It’s
    0:12:13 just content. And so it’s hard to get brand sponsorships when you actually are not an influencer
    0:12:18 and your content just went viral because there’s no way to really describe your audience. It’s hard
    0:12:23 for brands to understand who they’re targeting exactly. So that’s something else to think about.
    0:12:29 Yeah, I call those people cold creators that they are showing up to create content, but there is no
    0:12:34 warmth behind them focusing on building the know, like and trust. And we even see this with a lot
    0:12:40 of massive influencers out there. You think about, you know, Charlie, I can’t remember her last name,
    0:12:44 but she was on Dancing with the Stars. Her family had a reality show. Her and her sisters went viral
    0:12:50 on TikTok. And now it’s like, not only is there, all they talk about is how their mental health is
    0:12:54 just like all over the place. They can’t show up. They can’t be consistent. They’re not happy. They’re
    0:12:58 not fulfilled. But a lot of the brand deals that they’ve started to do, whether that’s product
    0:13:01 lines that they’ve launched or what have you, have now been pulled off the shelves because
    0:13:06 they’re not converting. And the reason why is because they didn’t take the time to build that
    0:13:10 know, like and trust with their audience. They didn’t take the time to really build a brand
    0:13:15 around the reputation that they wanted to have. They were just creating content for the sake of
    0:13:20 creating content and, you know, doing it on TikTok and blowing up, but now they don’t have anything
    0:13:25 to show for it. And there’s a lot of creators that that has happened to over time that have gone on
    0:13:31 to maybe get a Sephora, you know, makeup deal. But then a year later, they don’t have any makeup
    0:13:39 in the stores and it’s because it can’t sell. So how do we figure out exactly what will resonate
    0:13:45 best with our target audience? To truly connect with that audience and create content that genuinely
    0:13:50 serves their needs, you need to understand what interests them, what drives them, what thrills
    0:13:55 them. Understanding what your audience wants is the foundation of creating content that stands out,
    0:14:00 even since the dawn of time when early humans were telling their first stories around the
    0:14:06 communal fire. Of course, nowadays, most of our audiences are online, but we can still learn a
    0:14:11 lot about how to shape and respond to an audience from those who are gifted performers and make
    0:14:17 their living by delighting live audiences. The magician and mentalist, Oz Perlman, is one such
    0:14:22 performer. And he shared with me some fascinating insights into how he uses deep knowledge of
    0:14:31 human behavior to read an audience. Every show is different, which is great because every audience
    0:14:35 is different, right? Think about it. If you’re watching a movie, the movie is always the same,
    0:14:40 versus what I do is not like watching a singer or a band where, you know, they can change the song
    0:14:45 a little bit, but it’s still the same song. For me, everything I do involves audience interaction.
    0:14:52 My show is the audience because like if I’m doing a show for a thousand people, 50, 60, 100 of them
    0:14:55 will be a part of it. At some point, I throw frisbees around the audience, we hand envelopes,
    0:15:02 we pick people out of the whole crowd. I’ve done arenas before with 10,000 people. And what my
    0:15:07 show is all about is audience reactions, watching someone’s face and that shock and that amazement,
    0:15:12 and sometimes that just absolute silence. When you’ve done something that seems impossible or you’ve
    0:15:17 told them something, there’s no way you could have known or anticipated. And that’s really the
    0:15:23 product I’m selling is very memorable moments, usually with a lot of emotional impact. And so
    0:15:28 it’s helpful in certain parts of everyday life. But it’s funny because not as if I can just walk
    0:15:33 into a real estate negotiation and be like, I know their bottom line. I know how much money
    0:15:38 I’m saving like it works in certain ways. It’s helpful. It’s an edge, but it’s not the same. It’s
    0:15:45 a facade. You know, it’s an entertainment pursuit because in my shows, I’m the director.
    0:15:48 I get to call the shots in a certain way. So I wish I could tell you, I’d go to the poker table
    0:15:54 and just make millions. Funny enough, a lot of casinos, they have people trained in what I do
    0:15:58 going against me. They’re the ones who are making sure that I can’t cheat.
    0:16:03 Got it. Got it. And that reminds me of something that I’ve also heard you said,
    0:16:07 where you say that your profession is more like a comedian than it is a magician because you’re
    0:16:12 actually feeding off the audience and not just like doing the same thing over and over again.
    0:16:18 Totally. And it’s hard to practice what I do. So a magician, think about it, can practice,
    0:16:22 like I use an example of a card trick. You can practice a card trick at home in front of the
    0:16:28 mirror for days, weeks, years, and perfect the moves that are required. Same thing with a juggler,
    0:16:34 let’s call it. But a comedian has to tell their joke. He or she tells their joke. And the only way
    0:16:40 you know if it’s funny is if an audience reacts. The audience is your canvas. So the exact same
    0:16:44 thing applies. And that’s the reason right there, why there’s so much fewer mentalists than magicians.
    0:16:51 Because the learning curve is so steep, you can’t get better without first bombing. So you need to
    0:16:56 be bad and start doing it and getting better and better with audiences. And a lot of people don’t
    0:17:01 have that stomach. They can’t deal with that level of rejection over and over and not be good for years
    0:17:11 at times. The audience is your canvas. I just love that. And it’s just as true for an online
    0:17:17 audience. The best online content isn’t just a one way broadcast. It’s a conversation. It’s about
    0:17:22 give and take where we’re tuning into what our audience really wants, what resonates with them,
    0:17:27 and what keeps them coming back. In other words, you’re not creating content for yourself. Just
    0:17:32 like Oz Perlman, you’re responding to what your audience is telling you, even when it’s through
    0:17:39 nonverbal cues like likes, shares, and comments. Every interaction is a signal and your audience
    0:17:44 is showing what they relate to, what they’re curious about, and sometimes what just isn’t clicking.
    0:17:50 At times you may bomb just like a stand up comedian or a live performer might. The magic happens when
    0:17:55 you take the time to interpret these signals and respond to them. That’s when your content goes from
    0:18:01 good to great. But figuring out an audience, of course, takes time. Perhaps nobody I’ve spoken
    0:18:05 to knows this better than my good friend, the entrepreneur and the host of the Social Proof
    0:18:11 podcast, David Chance. David is one of the hardest working people I know. And as you’ll hear,
    0:18:15 he knows his audience down to their daily routine and their habits.
    0:18:23 So I have to ask you, for anybody who’s starting their YouTube journey now,
    0:18:28 like you said, you started in 13 years ago or something like that. But 2023, it’s a whole
    0:18:32 different game. You’re still crushing it. You still know how to get views and all of that.
    0:18:35 So how can we get more engagement on YouTube, more views and subscribers?
    0:18:43 One, you have to be good at it. It’s not like, I don’t have a one to three step
    0:18:51 for someone that’s not good. That doesn’t ask good questions or put up amazing content or
    0:18:53 come out with shareable stuff. There’s nothing I can do for you.
    0:19:02 You have to practice the craft. It’s really cool because for two years of actually doing the podcast
    0:19:08 and putting it on YouTube, I wasn’t thinking money for 10 years. I mean, while I was doing,
    0:19:16 so I started 2010, I didn’t start monetizing until 2020. For those 10 years, I’m not even
    0:19:21 thinking that YouTube makes money. I never even thought about it. My only thing was,
    0:19:28 are people liking this content? Are they sharing it? Are they commenting? And I was focused on
    0:19:35 having a good show and being a good interviewer and being engaging. So that’s where I’m blessed
    0:19:40 because I came before the era of jump on YouTube to make a million dollars.
    0:19:48 I had time to perfect my craft. One, you just have to be good at it. I don’t care if you’re
    0:19:55 super consistent. You have the best camera, best lighting, best, if the content isn’t amazing,
    0:20:03 it’s not going to work. Practice your craft. You really need to find a niche that you’re passionate
    0:20:10 about and that other people are passionate about. You have to brand yourself around this conversation.
    0:20:16 So I brand, my whole world is branded around podcasting and entrepreneurship. One, I’ve been
    0:20:22 doing it for 10 years or longer than that, my whole life really, but this whole podcasting thing,
    0:20:27 in entrepreneurship, my whole world is that. My bio says it. If you talk to me long enough,
    0:20:33 we’re going to talk about podcasting or entrepreneurship. That’s my brand. So I have
    0:20:38 a niche. I have an audience. I know all the things that my audience is struggling with.
    0:20:44 That’s how I can tell you, all right, so you got to stop stopping. You got to stop.
    0:20:48 One of the worst things that can happen to an entrepreneur is a little bit of success because
    0:20:53 other people see that little bit of success and they start inviting you to their thing that they’re
    0:20:58 doing and it’s going to take you off path. The reason I know that is because I’ve been through it
    0:21:03 and I’ve been coaching entrepreneurs for the last decade on this space. So I know my audience,
    0:21:07 I know exactly what they’re going through. So you need to know your audience know exactly what
    0:21:12 they’re going through. You for sure need to be consistent. So the best way to do that is
    0:21:18 have a consistent day that you record, whether it’s every Wednesday, every Thursday,
    0:21:24 we record our podcasts every Wednesday for sure. Now somebody can’t do Wednesday and
    0:21:28 they’re a big enough guess. We’ll do it on Thursday or do it on Tuesday because I’m on
    0:21:33 studio. So it’s cool, but I have a specific day that we record. We have a specific day that we
    0:21:40 release and it’s consistent. If you think of your favorite shows growing up, it wasn’t sporadic when
    0:21:47 they delivered the content. It was the same time, same day every single week because people put their,
    0:21:53 they put your show or your content into their life. So I’ve released my podcast at seven in the
    0:21:58 morning because I know there are people going to work and I want them to listen to my podcast on
    0:22:04 their way to work because I want them to be inspired. I want them to be motivated and this is
    0:22:09 their thing. It’s in the routine. If anything ever happens, like there’s a misfire on the
    0:22:15 scheduling or something like that, I get messages. Hey, you ain’t released this episode? What happened?
    0:22:20 What happened? What happened? I’m like, whoa, let me find out what’s going on because they
    0:22:31 I show into the framework of their lives and you can’t disappoint or you’ll break trust. So if you
    0:22:36 say every Monday at seven o’clock, it’s going to release and sometimes it’s at seven, sometimes at
    0:22:42 two PM, sometimes it releases on Tuesday. Sometimes it just doesn’t release that week.
    0:22:47 You’re breaking the trust because now I can’t trust you to put this in my schedule anymore.
    0:22:56 So yeah, and also looking at the trends, studying your craft, studying what’s working in your
    0:23:02 industry. And yeah, I think if you put all of those together and you’re good at it, it will grow,
    0:23:09 period. If you want to have a detailed understanding of your audience like David,
    0:23:14 you need information. And today, the best tools for understanding audience preferences
    0:23:20 is our data and analytics. It might not sound super glamorous, but trust me, these numbers are
    0:23:26 gold. Engagement metrics like views, likes, comments and shares reveal what topics and
    0:23:31 formats your audience is drawn to. By analyzing these patterns, you get insights that might
    0:23:36 otherwise go unnoticed. Data doesn’t lie. If you’re not looking at your analytics,
    0:23:41 you’re missing out on a treasure trove of information that can help guide your content strategy.
    0:23:46 At YAP, we regularly review our analytics to spot trends and highlight what’s working.
    0:23:52 It’s about more than just knowing which episodes are posted well. It’s about understanding why.
    0:23:57 If a specific topic or guest sees a surge in engagement, that tells us that our audience is
    0:24:01 interested in that subject and we might explore it further in future episodes.
    0:24:06 And we’re not just looking at the numbers. We’re looking at the why behind the numbers.
    0:24:10 What was it about this particular guest or topic that hit the mark?
    0:24:13 Was there something in the style or the format that people responded to?
    0:24:19 By digging into these insights, we can adapt and evolve our content to meet our audience’s
    0:24:24 preferences. On the other hand, if certain themes or styles consistently underperform,
    0:24:29 it’s a sign that we may need to rethink our approach or pivot. Analytics is not just about
    0:24:34 measuring success. It’s about learning, adapting and evolving based on the hard evidence. It’s
    0:24:39 like having a compass that guides the direction of your content. But you have to be willing to
    0:24:44 act on that feedback you get from your audience. And next, we’ll learn how you can harness feedback
    0:24:52 to create even better content. Flexibility is crucial in content creation.
    0:24:57 You don’t need to change who you are, but you can refine how you present yourself to meet your
    0:25:02 audience where they are. One of my favorite examples of using data and feedback to know your
    0:25:07 audience better was shared with me by video marketing expert Ken Okazaki. Sometimes meeting
    0:25:13 your audience where they are means literally knowing where they are, even if that happens to be on
    0:25:24 the toilet. So fun fact, and I’ve heard you talk about this a few times. 80% of men and 69% of women
    0:25:28 use their phone while on the toilet. And you’ve taken this data and created something called the
    0:25:32 toilet strategy. So what is the toilet strategy and what does this data tell us about how we should
    0:25:37 be conducting video marketing? Yeah, I should probably look that up. I don’t know if the numbers
    0:25:43 have gone up or down. A couple of years ago, I wrote that book. But I don’t know about you, but I
    0:25:53 happened to use my phone in the toilet. And when I realized that there’s that huge percentage,
    0:25:56 because that’s kind of like literally your downtime, right? So that’s when you’re like,
    0:26:00 you know, you’re checking messages, linking to social media. And there’s a couple of things
    0:26:04 going on here. And right now, it may seem obvious. But when I first presented this at a conference,
    0:26:07 everybody was like, oh, my, you know, smack my head, like, that’s, that’s so obvious. Why didn’t
    0:26:14 I think of it? But when your audience is in the toilet, you have to, well, put it this way, tune
    0:26:17 your videos as if you’re speaking to someone on the toilet. So there’s a couple things going on.
    0:26:22 Number one, you, you want to make sure there’s captions on every single word, because when you’re
    0:26:26 in a public bathroom, it’s very rare that you’re going to want the speakers blaring while you’re
    0:26:31 in there, right? So immediately someone’s going to mute, if they can’t hear you, or read you,
    0:26:34 then they’re going to skip off, right? So that’s rule number one. Rule number two about the toilet
    0:26:41 strategy is the length. There are so many times on where I’ve seen a video, I thought this is great.
    0:26:45 And then what we’ve done is eye tracking tests. The first thing we look at is the title to see
    0:26:50 if we want to stop the second one is the person’s eyes. The third place we look, believe it or not,
    0:26:56 is the play bar to see how long it is. And that’s through eye tracking data. And if the video is
    0:27:01 too long, like you probably want to spend five minutes in the bathroom max, if it’s a 20 minute
    0:27:05 video, what happens is this is a great video, but I don’t have 20 minutes to see Safer Later,
    0:27:10 which by the way, nobody ever goes to the Safer Later video and actually watches them. It’s,
    0:27:16 it is a black hole where things go in and never come back out. So you never want to get Safer
    0:27:20 Later. So there’s the length, you want to keep it, you know, two minutes max. Nowadays, it’s under
    0:27:25 a minute. It keeps getting shorter. Oh, the third thing is really the big title on top. Now,
    0:27:31 that’s kind of changed because nowadays, with the way TikTok format videos have really taken over,
    0:27:36 the algorithm chooses what shows up. It’s not what you subscribe to. So it doesn’t matter
    0:27:42 quite as much, but I think it’s quite effective on some platforms where the thumbnail is going to
    0:27:46 be much more prominent than the actual video itself. For example, YouTube.
    0:27:55 The toilet strategy might be an extreme example, but it shows how responding to data and feedback
    0:27:59 you’re given about your audience can allow you to transform your content in a way that will
    0:28:05 connect even better with them. At Yap, we’re always actively listening to feedback. We read
    0:28:09 comments, look at engagement metrics, and keep an eye out on the formats that are doing well.
    0:28:14 For instance, that we’ve seen that our audience really responds to a conversational style and
    0:28:20 interviews. So we integrate that into more episodes purposefully. And if a certain topic, style, or
    0:28:26 format isn’t resonating, we’re not afraid to just switch it up. Think of adaptation as a cycle.
    0:28:31 You put out content, gauge your response, and then adjust. And if you do this over and over again,
    0:28:37 and turn up for your audience on a regular basis, you will acquire some powerful insights from them.
    0:28:41 And their feedback will not only help you improve existing content,
    0:28:47 but it will also help you generate bold new ideas. Now here’s Ken Okazaki again with more.
    0:28:55 If you don’t show up, things don’t happen. And that’s when success builds on success.
    0:29:00 And that’s when people start realizing, hey, this person is a pillar in this vertical,
    0:29:06 in this niche, in this industry. And the more they hear you, the more they want to hear about you.
    0:29:10 I’m not going to go into too much detail here for the sake of time, but the rock stars are the people
    0:29:19 who, in a nutshell, you’re no longer pushing your content. Your audience is pulling the content
    0:29:24 from you. The demand for it is greater than your effort to push it out there. You’re getting
    0:29:28 more people to share it. You’re getting people requesting to be on your show. You’re getting
    0:29:32 so much engagement that you’ll never run out of ideas because you could just look at the comments
    0:29:40 and use that for your content ideas. And that’s that feeling of getting pulled. And once you reach
    0:29:46 that, there’s a lot of people who just realize that there is this, I guess it’s like the flywheel
    0:29:52 type of feeling. And that’s flow. And that’s where that’s where I want all my clients to get.
    0:30:00 This willingness to evolve shows your audience that you’re paying attention and that you respect
    0:30:05 their preferences. It’s a win-win. You’re creating content that’s meaningful and relevant. And your
    0:30:10 audience feels more connected to you because they know their feedback genuinely matters.
    0:30:15 When you understand your audience, it transforms your entire approach. You’re not guessing, you’re
    0:30:20 responding. And that makes all the difference. When you approach content as a partnership with
    0:30:26 your audience, you’re building something powerful, a loyal, engaged community that trusts you and
    0:30:34 wants to come back again and again. Now, adapting to your audience doesn’t mean starting from scratch
    0:30:41 every time. At YAP, we’ve streamlined this process with OpusClip, a tool that analyzes your raw footage,
    0:30:47 pulls in the best moments, and assigns a virality score to give you an idea of how viral each clip
    0:30:53 might be. Here’s how it helped us with one of our biggest viral videos yet. When we released my podcast
    0:31:00 interview with communication expert Matt Abraham, we used OpusClip’s AI to analyze the hour-long
    0:31:06 conversation. It identified emotional peaks, keyword hooks, and moments where viewer curiosity spiked.
    0:31:11 Instead of guessing which clips would work, OpusClip highlighted 12 high potential moments
    0:31:17 ranked by their ability to peak curiosity. We chose the top five clips, like Matt’s descriptive
    0:31:24 moment. My team turned them into a 30-second intro, and the result? 50% more viewers stayed past the
    0:31:30 30-second mark, leading to a better watch time and a much greater reach. The video now sets at over
    0:31:37 123,000 views and counting, making it one of the best-performing videos on my channel. If you’re
    0:31:43 not using tools like OpusClip to test and refine your content, you’re missing on a great opportunity
    0:31:48 to stay connected with your audience. OpusClip helps you get the most out of your content by
    0:31:53 highlighting the moments that resonate most. Instead of guessing, you’re making informed
    0:32:01 decisions that keep your strategy aligned with your audience preferences. Well, yeah, fam,
    0:32:07 that’s it for episode five of the Yap Creator series. By paying attention to engagement, using
    0:32:12 data to guide your strategy and creating a feedback loop, you can build a stronger connection with
    0:32:17 your audience and keep your content fresh and relevant. And if you’re ready to do this and
    0:32:22 to take your content to the next level, try OpusClip today. You can let OpusClip help you create
    0:32:31 awesome videos that will drive engagement at opus.pro/clipanything. That’s opus.pro/clipanything.
    0:32:35 Thanks again for tuning in, and we’ll see you in episode six, where we unlock the secrets of
    0:32:40 content creation with the focus on how AI is changing the game.
    0:32:50 [Music]
    0:32:53 (upbeat music)
    0:33:01 [BLANK_AUDIO]

    If you’ve ever felt like your content just isn’t sticking, you might not be speaking your audience’s language. But figuring out what resonates isn’t a guessing game. There are real strategies to find what connects, cut what doesn’t, and adjust on the fly. In this episode of the YAPCreator Series, presented by OpusClip, Hala Taha breaks down why analyzing audience behavior is critical. She also shares powerful strategies to help you better understand your audience and their preferences so you can create content that captivates, converts, and keeps people coming back for more.

    In this episode, Hala will discuss: 

    (00:00) Introduction

    (02:45) Understanding Your Audience

    (03:24) Neil Patel on Finding the Right Audience

    (07:29) Nick Loper on Turning an Audience into a Business

    (09:11) Creating Value-Based Content with Julie Solomon

    (14:33) Engaging Your Audience with Oz Perlman

    (18:19) Mastering YouTube with David Shands

    (23:25) Leveraging Data and Analytics

    (25:18) Ken Okazaki’s “Toilet Strategy” for Viral Videos

    (28:21) Adapting and Evolving Your Content

    (30:55) Using OpusClip for Viral Content

    Try OpusClip for FREE:

    Visit https://www.opus.pro/clipanything 

    Resources Mentioned:

    YAP E226 with Neil Patel: https://youngandprofiting.co/4gqjng0 

    YAP E325 with Nick Loper: https://youngandprofiting.co/40MTrVM 

    YAP E233 with Oz Pearlman: https://youngandprofiting.co/42DkUMt 

    YAP E292 with Julie Solomon: https://youngandprofiting.co/4jJTpXp 

    YAP E230 with Ken Okazaki: https://youngandprofiting.co/3Ervwnx 

    Active Deals – youngandprofiting.com/deals 

    Key YAP Links

    Reviews – ratethispodcast.com/yap 

    Youtube – youtube.com/c/YoungandProfiting

    LinkedIn – linkedin.com/in/htaha

    Instagram – instagram.com/yapwithhala

    Social + Podcast Services: yapmedia.com 

    Transcripts – youngandprofiting.com/episodes-new 

  • Reid Hoffman: Unlocking Limitless Human Possibilities With AI | E333

    AI transcript
    0:00:06 Today’s episode is sponsored in part by Robinhood Airbnb Shopify RocketMoney Nord VPN and Indeed.
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    0:01:02 public Wi-Fi. To get the best discount off your Nord VPN plan, go to NordVPN.com/profiting.
    0:01:08 Attract interview and hire all in one place with Indeed. Get a $75 sponsored job credit
    0:01:13 at indeed.com/profiting. Terms and conditions apply. As always, you can find all of our incredible
    0:01:21 deals in the show notes or at youngerprofit.com/deals. This is going to generate magic, and there will
    0:01:26 be more agents than there are people. The future is sooner and stranger than you think. You co-founded
    0:01:32 Inflection AI with Mustafa Suleiman, and you’re really creating companions for people. We moved
    0:01:37 from the computers being the bicycle of mind to AI being the automobiles of the mind. Let’s figure
    0:01:41 out how we want the technology to evolve, how we’re going to use it, how we use it together,
    0:01:46 how we use it individually. Human beings will be replaced by other human beings using AI,
    0:01:50 and in some cases by AI, but there will also be a bunch of new jobs created too.
    0:01:55 Why are you so optimistic about AI? Because I think AI is going to be the,
    0:02:07 the future is already here, it’s unevenly distributed.
    0:02:18 Yep, gang. Welcome back to the show. Today, we are playing part two of my episode with Reed
    0:02:24 Hoffman. Reed Hoffman is an incredible entrepreneur. He’s the co-founder of LinkedIn and Inflection
    0:02:29 AI. In part one of this conversation, we focused on entrepreneurship, so if you haven’t heard that
    0:02:35 yet, make sure you stop and go back and listen to that one first, especially for an entrepreneur.
    0:02:40 We talk all about Blitzscaling. We talk about his early failures as an entrepreneur,
    0:02:44 and he uncovered so many gems in this conversation, you don’t want to miss it.
    0:02:50 If you’ve already heard that one, go enjoy part two of this episode on AI, where we’re going to
    0:02:58 learn everything that he believes AI will bring to our future, including our own personal AI agents.
    0:03:02 It was an incredible conversation. You guys are going to blow your mind with this one.
    0:03:06 So, without further delay, here’s my conversation with the incredible Reed Hoffman.
    0:03:12 AI is definitely transforming the world, and I know that you’re doing a lot in AI.
    0:03:16 So, let’s start talking about that. When did you first get interested in AI
    0:03:22 and realize its potential impact? In one sense, my undergraduate major at Stanford
    0:03:26 was artificial intelligence. It was called symbolic systems. It was kind of the earliest
    0:03:31 undergraduate AI major, but then I concluded the time wasn’t right, and I went off to do other things.
    0:03:39 And then, it was discussions with a set of different people. Demesis of a city mind,
    0:03:46 Sam Altman, Elon Musk, relative to open AI, and some other things that, okay, actually,
    0:03:51 in fact, now is the time. And the particular thing wasn’t so much the invention of an algorithm.
    0:03:58 A lot of the fundamentals of the kind of algorithms that are being used for the magic of today,
    0:04:01 there’s been a bunch of inventions, but the fundamentals were already somewhat there.
    0:04:07 What the transformation was, was essentially scale, compute, and learning machines,
    0:04:13 and data to learn from. And it was like, oh, this is going to generate magic. Actually,
    0:04:17 none of us are quite sure exactly all the kinds of magic that will come out of it and what
    0:04:24 will happen once it’s GPD 5, for example. But we know we’re going to be able to create things
    0:04:30 that are capabilities, cognitive capabilities, that have never been seen before.
    0:04:36 And that simple ways to parallel the metaphor is like, well, actually, in fact, every single
    0:04:40 computational device isn’t going to no longer have an interface in a manual. It’s just you’re
    0:04:47 going to talk to it, right? Or everybody’s going to have multiple agents and assistants for everything
    0:04:54 they’re doing, whether it’s podcasting, or writing, or analyzing, or speaking, or comprehending.
    0:04:59 And all of this stuff is going to help. Or another way of putting it is anything that has
    0:05:04 any computational units at all is going to become much more intelligent.
    0:05:11 All of these things come from this scale, compute, learning revolution. And that was
    0:05:20 probably 2014, 2015, was when I really got the vision hit me fully. And I went to my partners
    0:05:23 at Greylock. And I said, hey, look, I think we’re going to still make a bunch of money doing the
    0:05:28 script of stuff. I did a few things in Bitcoin and other things. So keep doing it. But I’m going
    0:05:34 to focus entirely on AI, because I think AI is going to be the next wave. And I want to start
    0:05:39 working on it right now. And I love how you’re so optimistic about AI. I’ve interviewed so many
    0:05:47 people about it, Mo Gao Dat, Mustafa Suleiman, Fei Fei Li, just everyone from people who started
    0:05:51 a long time ago on it to the new guys. And everybody kind of has a different mix. Like,
    0:05:55 some people are really positive about it. Some people are pretty pessimistic. Why are you so
    0:06:01 optimistic about AI? And can you give us some counter arguments to what pessimists typically
    0:06:06 say? I’m familiar with every single pessimist argument. And the frequent thing is something
    0:06:12 along the lines, like, let’s take the most extreme. Can you guarantee me that we won’t deliberately
    0:06:17 or accidentally create terminators? And you go, no, I can’t guarantee you. Oh, then it’s really bad.
    0:06:22 We should have a cautionary principle. And you’re like, well, that’s if you thought that the only
    0:06:26 thing here was creation of terminators or not. So like, for example, take this is called existential
    0:06:31 risk. Let’s take existential risk. Existential risk is a basket. It’s not just are there killer
    0:06:38 robots or not. It’s also nuclear war, asteroids, pandemics, climate change, a bunch of other things.
    0:06:44 So you say, well, if we create AI, is the basket, well, yes, we may add the terminator robots as a
    0:06:49 negative possibility. But is the basket of risk get better or worse? And I think it just gets better,
    0:06:53 because it’s the only way I can think of to solve pandemics. I think it’s already helping
    0:06:57 in questions of advancing certain technologies around climate change.
    0:07:01 There’s just the stack of things where you go, just creating it is better.
    0:07:08 Next thing is people say, well, what about jobs? You say, well, okay, there’s basically,
    0:07:14 I think always in the transition, there’ll be difficulties and challenges and navigating
    0:07:18 that transition is one of the things I’m most focused on. But it’s just like the industrial
    0:07:24 revolution with the loom and everything else and moving to the power loom. And we’re going to have
    0:07:29 that. That’s going to have a disruption in society. There’s going to be challenges with that,
    0:07:36 guaranteed. But on the other side, like when we look at our entire lives today of societies that
    0:07:40 have middle classes and prosperous societies, it all comes from the industrial revolution.
    0:07:47 So the other side of that will very much look like the similar kind of amplification of what
    0:07:51 we’ve had here. Now, you say, what does that mean for jobs? Now, obviously, we know we need them for
    0:07:56 economy and people’s sense of purpose and sense of commitment. And you say, look, what we’re going
    0:08:01 to have is all this transition by which we have amplification intelligence. The thing I described
    0:08:08 my last book before super agency impromptu, which is AI means amplification intelligence.
    0:08:14 And so human beings will be replaced by other human beings using AI. And in some cases by AI,
    0:08:18 but there will also be a bunch of new jobs created too. And just like we didn’t have a chance to
    0:08:24 really envision in the future, we have to believe it’s going to happen. Now, if you said we’ve now
    0:08:31 created our science fiction paradise of Star Trek, and no human beings need to work anymore,
    0:08:37 what happens? By the way, that’s called a good circumstance, and we’ll figure it out. And we’ve
    0:08:44 had societies like European and other nobility, where there was entire groups of people, classes
    0:08:49 of people who didn’t have to work. And we may do with our lives. So even if we get there, so I think
    0:08:54 that it will be difficulty in transition, but like an amazing outcome. And then you say, well,
    0:09:00 why are you so passionate and so positive about this? Well, today, we have line of sight to creating
    0:09:07 on your smartphone, a medical assistant or tutor that is better than your average doctor and is a
    0:09:13 tutor on every subject for every age. We just need to make that available to every human to help
    0:09:20 people, the eight plus billion of us around the world. Just by having access to a smartphone. I
    0:09:25 think that’s one of the things that I think is super important. And that’s what we’re, like all
    0:09:33 the doomer and gloomers, essentially are delaying that future. And that delay has a huge cost in
    0:09:38 human suffering. Oh my gosh, I loved everything that you just said. It’s just so interesting.
    0:09:42 And I feel like it ties a lot of things together that we’ve talked about on the podcast before.
    0:09:50 So a lot of your book is talking about human agency, right? And the concerns around AI and
    0:09:55 human agency, you talked about it with jobs, right? And the fact that you don’t think it’s
    0:10:02 going to necessarily be a bad thing. If AI takes some of our jobs, it’s going to add new jobs,
    0:10:06 will maybe become more artistic or whatever as humans and figure out our time in other ways.
    0:10:11 But when it comes to human agency, can you talk to us about how technologies in the past,
    0:10:17 like the telephone and cars actually had similar things so that people can understand that we’ve
    0:10:23 gotten through this before? Thank you for reading the book and asking questions from it.
    0:10:28 So look, what people don’t realize is every new major general purpose technology has a discourse
    0:10:33 that’s very much like parallel to the one we’re having today, which is this new technology is
    0:10:39 going to destroy society. When cars came out as like, oh, men, because it was mostly
    0:10:44 men, wage earners back then, are going to stop getting married and everything else,
    0:10:47 because they’re going to be saving up for the car and it’s going to destroy our institutions of
    0:10:57 marriage. And these are dangerous for what happens in the streets. Similarly, for example,
    0:11:02 when the phonograph had to be pitched, it had to be pitched as it’s going to be used for church
    0:11:08 music, right? Because it’ll help people to like have church music at home because the kid like,
    0:11:12 well, what are people going to do this with? Are they going to be distracted or are they going
    0:11:16 to be sitting on their couch just like television doing nothing and television going to destroy
    0:11:22 society, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. And so, and matter of fact, we had this discussion around
    0:11:29 smartphones within our memories. And so the thing to remember is to say, yes, it’s going to completely
    0:11:34 change the future. It’s going to change the future in the way that we experience our agency, how we
    0:11:40 think of ourselves as kind of operative agents, what we’re capable of doing, what other people
    0:11:47 are capable of doing. But that change has thus far always ended up being very positive. Now,
    0:11:54 the transitions have been difficult. The printing press, which was described as, oh, it’s going to
    0:12:00 destroy human cognition by reducing the ability of memory. It’s going to create a whole bunch of
    0:12:06 misinformation. The true tellers in society, which in those days were priests, are going to be
    0:12:11 undermined. And of course, since we as human beings are very bad at these kinds of transitions,
    0:12:16 it led to nearly a century of religious war. So you go, okay, the outcome can be really good,
    0:12:21 but what do we do about the transitions? Now, one of the things I’m pointing out in the AI context
    0:12:25 and part of the reason for writing super agency and part of the reason for doing this is to say,
    0:12:29 well, in fact, we can use both the lessons from the past, these technology transformations,
    0:12:34 and we can use AI to help us. So you say, well, shoot, my job is now going to be done with a
    0:12:42 human using AI. Well, can the AI help me learn to be that human with AI? Can the AI help me figure
    0:12:48 out which jobs would be good for me with the AI helping me to do them? Can the AI help me with
    0:12:53 the transition? And so what we need to be doing is learning from the past and these lessons and
    0:12:58 transitions, and then deploying the technology to help us do that. Because one of the amazing,
    0:13:02 unique things about AI is it’s the first technology that can do that. Previously,
    0:13:06 you were like a doc worker, I was like, I’m a big, strong person. Well, that doesn’t help
    0:13:11 me learn how to use a forklift, right? And now the forklift is there. And now the fact that I’m a
    0:13:15 big, strong person doesn’t really matter, right? So my competitive edge in this job doesn’t matter.
    0:13:21 It’s like, well, but now we have a forklift that will go, Hey, sit here, give me direction and
    0:13:25 doing the following things. Here’s the ways that we can work together. Here’s the things that you
    0:13:29 need to watch out for in terms of how to use me and what kinds of things to do. And here’s the
    0:13:34 places where as I currently understand it, I’m going to be bad and need help and you can help me
    0:13:40 with. And now I can do the job transition. So that’s the kind of thing that I think is why
    0:13:45 agency is so important to focus on. And if you look at most of the things that people critique
    0:13:51 about these technologies, including AI, including smartphones, including cars, is it’s this change
    0:13:59 in agency, whether it’s like privacy or working jobs or, or capabilities by the state, by the people
    0:14:04 that then get people to be highly concerned. And you’re like, well, actually, in fact,
    0:14:10 if we go through it, if we do it in the right way, it’ll be magical, I think anyway, but it can be
    0:14:16 less suffering on the path to being magical and better navigated if we do it the right way.
    0:14:21 So when you say super agency, basically what you’re saying is we have human agency
    0:14:27 with AI, they’ll be helping us become better humans. And that’s why we have super agency.
    0:14:31 And then AI itself is going to be able to do things on its own, right? So can you talk to us
    0:14:37 about how AI will have agency? And then how do we imagine humans actually interacting with AI?
    0:14:41 I talked to Mustafa Suleiman, who I know is your colleague, and he told me like every human’s
    0:14:46 going to have an AI companion, and it’s going to help them, you know, go on job interviews,
    0:14:49 start companies. So talk to us about those kinds of concepts.
    0:14:54 Part of what freaks people out a little bit is we are going to this agentic universe,
    0:14:58 where all of a sudden, as opposed to having phones and PCs, which we’ll still have,
    0:15:02 we’ll have agents. And by the way, we’ll have more than one. We may have one that we’re,
    0:15:08 you know, particularly the hollow read ongoing companion always, you know, always around us
    0:15:12 and helping us with things. But there’s going to be a suite of them with kind of different
    0:15:16 specialties and different engagements. And by the way, you’re, you know, your office is going to
    0:15:21 have one, your working group is going to have one, and probably your podcast is going to have one,
    0:15:25 et cetera. And we hear fairly soon and people say, well, if they’re agentic, does that take my
    0:15:29 agency away? And the answer is no, the same way that when you work with colleagues and you work
    0:15:35 with employees and everything else, that expands your agency, that doesn’t take it away. So the
    0:15:40 agency is, I think, extremely important here. But by the way, a lot of it’s kind of the mindset.
    0:15:45 Like if you, if you think of your smartphone is, well, here’s the way that everyone can get to me
    0:15:50 all the time when I don’t really want to. And here is this microphone and camera that’s following me
    0:15:56 around. And I don’t know what it’s doing. Oh, gosh, I’m, I’m, I’m essentially going, oh my god, my
    0:16:01 agency is being slaughtered. Whereas I go, no, here’s the way that I can stay in communication
    0:16:05 with a bunch of the people I can call out to people I can be heard from people sometimes
    0:16:09 when I want, sometimes when I don’t, but I have choice over that. It helps me navigate and never
    0:16:14 get lost. Right. So yes, it always knows where I am. But that also knows how it helps me never
    0:16:18 get lost. And so therefore it can be an amplification of my agency. And it changes
    0:16:24 what the landscape of my agency is. And so I think that’s part of what’s so important about
    0:16:29 thinking about this new, a genetic revolution. Now, some of us will also be the, hey, I talked to
    0:16:35 my agent and I say, hey, I’m going to go to Rome, figure out what a really good itinerary is, book
    0:16:40 anything that’s really important to book early, you know, etc. And it comes back to me and does that.
    0:16:44 And you go, well, that’s really awesome. And you say, well, is this going to mean that the
    0:16:49 travel agents don’t have a job anymore? I said, well, actually, in fact, travel agents will change
    0:16:54 because it’ll be AI plus travel agent. But like, you know, it might be a little bit more along the
    0:17:00 lines of, here’s the things that’s normally seen, like, go see the Sistine Chapel in Rome, right?
    0:17:07 But it may be, oh, you’re the kind of person who would really like to do the after hours tour.
    0:17:13 And this is the way you do it. And maybe agents don’t know that much about the after hours tour.
    0:17:17 Maybe there’s a midnight bike ride that might be really good that, you know, doesn’t necessarily
    0:17:22 know about. So there’s ways that these kind of the pulling things together. And by the way,
    0:17:28 these agents will be making predictions off all the data, which is a lot more than any of us have,
    0:17:33 about what things will be really good for us. But it’s like, for example, play with chat,
    0:17:39 GBT and see what kinds of things are rights. And at least every time I’ve used it so far,
    0:17:45 and I suspect this will also be true of GBT five and GBT six, I can always add something interesting
    0:17:54 to it. I can change it, I can make it sharper, more distinct, etc. And that’s kind of a mode for
    0:18:01 thinking, well, why will I always have a role in the things that really matter is because I’ll figure
    0:18:06 out how to add something to it in a useful way, even as it gets much more powerful. Now, if you
    0:18:10 look at it today, like one of the things that I’m a little always bemused by is people say,
    0:18:15 I saw two articles in one day earlier this year, which was all that AI is good for is faking homework.
    0:18:21 AI is going to destroy all jobs. And you’re like, okay, part of that’s like right now, you’re like,
    0:18:25 look, there’s a very long way away from all this implication that everyone’s talking about. I mean,
    0:18:30 there’s some that’s right here right now, that’s really spectacular. But there’s a long journey,
    0:18:35 a long path, a long role for human beings to be participating in various ways and to be evolving
    0:18:43 and changing. And I for one, look forward to that path. I have to say, thinking about agents is so
    0:18:49 mind blowing. And when I think about AI, and all the talks that I’ve had, a lot of people talk about
    0:18:53 it as being like a great equalizer. And we were just talking about how humans are not going to
    0:18:57 work and everything like that. But I’m competitive, right? So like as I’ve been going through these
    0:19:00 conversations, I’ve been thinking about like, well, how am I going to be the best version of me?
    0:19:06 How am I going to be like a better entrepreneur and compete? But now as I’ve thought about it more,
    0:19:12 I realized you have to be the best trainer of the AI. I kind of imagine everybody being an
    0:19:18 entrepreneur, having agents that work at their personal company, basically, you basically have
    0:19:24 to be the best at coordinating your agents and figuring out how to like mobilize all that AI
    0:19:29 and all your AI support. And so smart people are going to be smarter at that, right? And creative
    0:19:34 and innovative people are going to be more creative and innovative when it comes to their own agents.
    0:19:38 And so I just feel like a lot of people are probably worried that there’s not going to be any
    0:19:44 room for them to your point as humans. But I really think it’s going to be how you manage your AI.
    0:19:49 Exactly as you say, in addition to training, it’s also deploying, organizing, executing,
    0:19:56 strategizing all of the above. And that’s part of the reason why with super agency and the other
    0:20:00 content that I’ve been trying to get out there and people’s hands like, start playing with it,
    0:20:05 start exploring, because you want to start building the muscles. It’s kind of like, hey,
    0:20:09 what is locomotion going to look like now? We’ve just invented, we’ve moved from the computers
    0:20:15 being the bicycle of mind to AI being the automobiles of the mind. All right, let’s all go learn how
    0:20:21 to drive, right? Let’s figure out how these things work, how we want the technology to evolve, how
    0:20:26 we’re going to use it, how we use it together, how we use it individually, and getting engaged with
    0:20:30 it is really important. And that’s the most central thing. And again, part of the reason I called it
    0:20:36 agency, because it’s like, own your agency and go do it. And part of the super agency is when
    0:20:42 millions of us all start doing that, it benefits all of us much more than just even the technology
    0:20:46 benefits each of us individually by ourselves. Let’s hold that thought and take a quick break
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    0:25:20 So I know that you co-founded Inflection AI with Mustafa Selimon, and one of your big missions
    0:25:26 there is to create companions that have high emotional intelligence for humans. It’s not a
    0:25:32 workplace tool. You’re really creating companions for people. Why do you think that’s important
    0:25:36 and what gap did you see in the AI world? Why did you get on board with that?
    0:25:39 So that’s how we started with Inflection. And part of that was because we said, well,
    0:25:43 what’s the world that we see that necessarily people don’t see that could be a very good product
    0:25:50 to create? Entrepreneur 1, right? And we said, look, this agent, eugenic world coming, there’s
    0:25:54 going to be more agents than people. Everyone’s going to have an agent that’s their own personal
    0:26:00 agent that they have trust with and is on their side. And what are the key attributes of that?
    0:26:04 Because if you look at even the very earliest of how other people were thinking about agents,
    0:26:08 they were thinking about information processing and work. And we were thinking about this as
    0:26:14 a trusted companion for how you’d operate. And so EQ is as important as IQ. So we trained the
    0:26:20 Inflection Model Pi, personal intelligence on this. Now, we’ve since then, we spoke about
    0:26:26 pivots earlier, we’ve pivoted the business. The consumer application of that is now being run
    0:26:31 as part of things that Microsoft’s doing. And what Inflection the company is doing now is providing
    0:26:38 that same kind of best in class IQ, but also best in class EQ to businesses that want to deploy
    0:26:43 this within their ecosystem, to their customers, to their products and services. So it’s shifted
    0:26:48 to kind of a more of a B2B model where the Pi agent is more the kind of exemplar of one of the
    0:26:54 unique models that Inflection has that it can deploy for your particular business challenges.
    0:26:59 So it’s a classic startup journey in addition to being in an interesting evolution of the AI
    0:27:05 things. And when it comes to having good EQ, I know obviously AI is not conscious, right?
    0:27:08 So how do you actually train it to have empathy and things like that?
    0:27:13 Part of what you’re doing when you’re doing the training of an AI is you’re training it
    0:27:18 to say it’s this prompt completion, like what do you say after this is said? And part of what
    0:27:22 you’re doing both in data and in post training is you’re saying, okay, here’s the kinds of things
    0:27:29 that count as good saying. So you have a whole bunch of humans who are running the system through
    0:27:34 and saying, okay, to prompt one, like you say, the person says, how’s your day? And says, well,
    0:27:40 my pet died today. And is it why respond A or respond B? Which one’s better response? And then
    0:27:44 human beings respond to that. That’s part of how it gets aligned with our beings, part of how it
    0:27:48 gets to kind of an EQ. And you’re partially telling your human beings who are training this
    0:27:55 where you want to nudge and prompt the responses to so that they’re essentially doing the training
    0:28:01 for this. And so if it said, for example, option A, oh, that’s too bad, you should really look up a
    0:28:09 grief counselor. And option two was, oh, that must be really hard. Oh, my gosh, is there anything I
    0:28:13 can do to help? I feel for you. Or, you know, probably wouldn’t say that just because it’s an AI,
    0:28:16 but it’s like something else because you don’t want to make false anthem or worse thing. But
    0:28:21 it’s like, look, I’m certain that connecting with friends or other kinds of things, how can I be of
    0:28:26 most help? And shouldn’t you want to have a conversation about it? That would be the kind
    0:28:34 of thing as all B is better than A, right? And so then by that, it learns how to have empathetic,
    0:28:40 kind, compassionate conversations. Because you can do that even without necessarily being
    0:28:44 compassionate or empathetic yourself, because as you noted, it’s not conscious. And by the way,
    0:28:49 there’s bunch of human beings who are also not there empathetic, who learn to be more empathetic,
    0:28:52 just by, you know, kind of, okay, this is the way you do this.
    0:28:56 It’s really cool what you guys are doing at Inflection AI. So one of the things that I wanted
    0:29:02 to talk to you about was trust when it comes to AI, because I feel like a lot of people are worried
    0:29:07 about misinformation. There’s so many deep fakes out there. People are just worried about trust
    0:29:12 when it comes to AI. So what are your thoughts around that? Look, trust is in, unfortunately,
    0:29:18 short supply these days, generally, not just for the AI. Trust in institutions, trust in
    0:29:23 democracies, voting systems, other people’s intent, you know, other kinds of things. So trust
    0:29:27 is challenging. Now, the way that I think it’s going to be very important to build and maintain
    0:29:33 trust with AI is for the people who are building it to be very clear about what their goals are,
    0:29:39 what they’re doing, what they’re doing to try to build and maintain trust. Part of the reason why,
    0:29:45 of course, my encouragement with super agency is for people to go try it because as they begin
    0:29:48 to try it and learn what kinds of good things they can do, what kinds of things are going to be
    0:29:53 empowered, that will be the kind of thing that builds the kind of positive trust in these kinds
    0:30:00 of circumstances. And my advice to individuals encountering these things, like, you know, a
    0:30:03 classic suspicion is say, well, big tech companies who are trying to make a lot of money are building
    0:30:07 these things and they’re trying to make money from you. And I was like, well, by the way,
    0:30:11 trying to make money from you is usually offering you a product and service you really like that
    0:30:15 really is something that you come back for that you keep using. That’s good for you. That’s the
    0:30:21 goodness of modern business. So you go, okay, so which things should I trust these AIs on or
    0:30:27 which things should I not? And the answer is, well, if you generally should and you should
    0:30:34 understand that company is trying to have you as a lifelong loyal customer that generally speaking,
    0:30:37 most of them are smart about doing that. So they’re going to try to make it good.
    0:30:42 If it’s something that’s particularly important to you cross-checking, it’s important. Like, you
    0:30:47 know, when I go to GBD4 and get a prompt, then I go, you know, huh, that doesn’t really make full
    0:30:52 sense to me. I’m going to go look at this a little bit more. Because it’s like, okay, if it said
    0:30:57 something about like, yeah, your lab, your, you know, your black lab can eat that mushroom. It’s
    0:31:04 like, nah, I really want to know. Yeah, double-check that. You know, so, and so you, you know, that
    0:31:09 kind of thing. And by the way, over time, these will get better and better for how it operates.
    0:31:14 And so I think that’s the kind of thing, but I think that’s the only by engaging and using,
    0:31:22 having dialogue, having that dialogue match our experience over time, being accountable as creators
    0:31:27 and companies for, you know, here are the things that we want in the use. And here are the things
    0:31:32 that are still under development. And being clear about that so that people have a sense of, okay,
    0:31:37 I understand it’s not perfect, but it could be really good for me. I feel like we’re in this
    0:31:44 transition period where humans that have a specialized expertise right now are at such an
    0:31:49 advantage. So for example, I have a podcast network. And I’m probably one of the most knowledgeable
    0:31:55 people about monetizing podcasts. And I write a newsletter that I write personally with all
    0:32:01 my industry knowledge. And sometimes I’ll just be like, well, what would chat GBT say? And then
    0:32:08 it’s all wrong. And it’s just so basic, right? It’s so basic. It’s kind of wrong. And then I just
    0:32:14 love it because I’m like, okay, people are getting my newsletter, which is this human experience that
    0:32:20 they can’t get anymore. And it’s making me feel like I actually am more valuable. I think it will
    0:32:25 transition where that might not be the case in like two years, but I feel like we’re in this
    0:32:30 transition where specialized knowledge from humans is actually like really desirable.
    0:32:37 Broadly, yes. And part of it’s obviously that specialized knowledge being evolved with how
    0:32:42 you’re figuring out how to use like you made this comment earlier, how you use these new
    0:32:48 tools really effectively. And so even with a depth of experience, the early involvement with open AI
    0:32:55 and all that, I constantly am asking questions and trying to use a number of these tools myself
    0:33:00 for real things, not just like create a sonnet for my cousin’s birthday or any of this kind of
    0:33:07 stuff, but it’s also things like investment analysis or market trends or other kinds of things.
    0:33:12 And frequently, just as you said, you know, like, ah, that’s not very good. Okay, fine.
    0:33:16 And sometimes I go, I iterate on it. And sometimes I go, oh, no, no, I think that’s just not very
    0:33:21 good right now. I’ll use it for other things, but using it constantly. So I have, I’ve enabled the
    0:33:28 voice agents on my phones so that I can point my camera at things and talk to chat, GBT about
    0:33:35 the thing I’m looking at, say mushrooms, right? And so, and you know, that kind of thing as a
    0:33:41 way of understanding it. And I do think that human specialized knowledge creativity will even grow
    0:33:46 with a premium, but it will grow at a premium in the use of the tools too. Like you can’t just buy,
    0:33:51 like, I am genius. I don’t need AI. It’s like, no, I am genius because of the way that I use AI
    0:33:57 to be an extra special genius. We were talking about deep bakes before. And I came across this
    0:34:04 interview of you interviewing your own AI on your YouTube, you call it read AI, and it’s an
    0:34:09 AI video avatar of you. Talk to us about how you felt in that interview. Did you learn anything
    0:34:16 from it? Did you help you realize anything about AI in the future? It came about primarily because
    0:34:21 I was like, look, here’s a technology that everyone’s so skeptical about. Our name for it is deep fakes.
    0:34:31 It’s kind of like if your name was disaster, okay. So I was like, okay, but can I imagine that there
    0:34:36 would possibly be good things that could work with this? And I was like, well, let’s explore because
    0:34:41 we should. And let’s share the exploration. So we’ll have this kind of interview and conversation.
    0:34:46 And as I said at the end of the interview, I thought I was going to hate this because I’m not
    0:34:51 one of those people who talks to myself in a mirror. I was like, am I going to feel schizophrenic?
    0:34:57 Am I going to feel self and grandizing? Am I going to feel like I can see all these different ways
    0:35:03 that I could possibly hate this thing? And actually it was more interesting as kind of a palette and
    0:35:08 exploration. Like if you said, well, I only want to talk to read AI, so absolutely not. But what I
    0:35:14 want to talk to read AI sometimes and doing these things and have that as a way of having a dialogue
    0:35:20 with myself and also showing what’s good at, because once I did that, one of the things I
    0:35:25 realized is after I made that, I was off to go give a speech at the University of Perugia
    0:35:30 in defense of an honorary doctorate. And I sort of wrote out the speech. And then I went, you know,
    0:35:37 I could actually have read AI, give this speech. And I’m only really fluent in English
    0:35:43 in all of these other languages, ranging from Hindi to Chinese to Arabic to all these things.
    0:35:50 And to give the speech in those languages where people are much like, it was bizarre listening
    0:35:56 to me, my voice, speaking Hindi or Chinese fluently. It’s like, what would I sound like
    0:36:00 if I were speaking Chinese? Now, one of the things that my French friends told me is my
    0:36:05 French sounded like Canadian French. And you know, I don’t know what the story of that is.
    0:36:10 How is this? Is there more data audio samples of Canadian French or somehow it goes, well,
    0:36:16 you’re North American, so we’re going to make you from Quebec rather than Putty? Who knows?
    0:36:21 But it was humanizing. I thought I would really dislike it. And it was humanizing. And it started
    0:36:25 making me realize just as I say to other people, hey, you should use the technology to get a sense
    0:36:30 of it and to reinforce your own agency with the technology. It was like, that was me doing that
    0:36:35 with that. And we continue to do new things with read AI. Probably one of the funniest ones
    0:36:42 was the number of different press outlets that asked, we’d like to do an interview with read AI.
    0:36:48 It was like, oh, that’s interesting. Cool. Yeah, it’s so cool. I feel like in terms of
    0:36:52 content creation, I’ve got a lot of creator entrepreneurs that listen to the show. I feel
    0:36:57 like AI is totally going to change the game. Even with me, I have my AI voice if I’m sick,
    0:37:05 or if I miss a commercial, we can use my AI voice as an intermediate step. I’ll always rerecord it,
    0:37:10 make sure that it’s me. But it’s really close to my voice. People really can’t tell. And we’re
    0:37:15 working on my AI video. And to your point, people probably think I’m crazy creating my own deep bake.
    0:37:20 But I want to be able to scale myself. And this is the future. And you just gave me such a great
    0:37:26 idea in terms of the translations. People love to watch content all over the world, and not everybody
    0:37:33 speaks English. Not only do I speak English, but also people most emotionally resonate with content
    0:37:38 that’s in languages that they are native to. And so most people are native one language. Sometimes
    0:37:43 they’re native a couple, but it’s within the languages they’re native to, which roughly means
    0:37:48 languages they learn complete fluency before they were 12 for the vast majority of people.
    0:37:54 It’s a human connection. If the person says, oh, I’m hearing this in Chinese, it’s warmer,
    0:37:58 it’s smarter, it’s more engaging, et cetera, if Chinese is my native language.
    0:38:03 I do feel like people who have a lot of content out there have a very unique advantage
    0:38:08 going into the future because we can actually create these avatars with ourselves because
    0:38:15 we have all this content. Absolutely. We’ll be right back after a quick break from our sponsors.
    0:38:22 Hey, AppBam. I’ve been counting down the days to Valentine’s Day because on that day,
    0:38:28 I’ll be speaking at Funnel Hacking Live alongside Tony Robbins. I’ll be speaking next to Tony
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    0:38:39 red dress. It took a while to find exactly what I was looking for, but I finally found the perfect
    0:38:46 dress. And it was in my size on an overseas website. Everything looked good. The pricing was good.
    0:38:53 And then I went back to checkout and the price was different. It was jacked up. And then I remembered
    0:39:00 NordVPN. NordVPN for the rescue. I could just switch servers, refresh the page,
    0:39:05 and just like that, the price dropped. Turns out retailers can use your browsing history or
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    0:39:18 outfit, I don’t settle. I want designer. I want the best of the best. And if you’re like me,
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    0:39:40 To get the best discount off your NordVPN plan, go to NordVPN.com/profiting. Our link will also
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    0:40:00 One last question for you on the future of AI. So you’re obviously at the forefront of this.
    0:40:04 You’ve thought a lot about it. You’ve written books on AI. So I just want you and you can take
    0:40:09 your time with us because I think it’s very interesting. How do you imagine our world to be
    0:40:13 five, 10, 20 years in the future with AI? What do you imagine the world to be like?
    0:40:18 Well, one of the things that’s a great way to look foolish in the future is to make overly
    0:40:25 specific predictions, partially because the usual principle I used to say in this is the future is
    0:40:30 sooner and stranger than you think. And so people thought in the ’80s, we’re going to get AI, but
    0:40:33 if we didn’t get AI, we got the internet, we got mobile phone. Well, maybe now we’re going to get
    0:40:38 AI. I mean, we’re going to get what shape of AI is the interesting question. What I think is
    0:40:44 the minimum guarantee is there’s going to be, as opposed to computer interfaces or phone interfaces,
    0:40:52 we’re going to have agents. And agents are going to be the primary mode of navigation. What we
    0:40:58 describe in super agency is an informational GPS. So in this entire informational digital world,
    0:41:04 we’ll do that. And there will be more agents than there are people, especially when you consider
    0:41:10 even though there might be just one agent, Pi, that’s kind of then instantiated with what remembers
    0:41:15 out of its conversations and interactions with Hala, what it understands, remembers in its
    0:41:20 conversation, interactions with Reed, et cetera, et cetera, this kind of this flow of agents. Now,
    0:41:23 one of the things that I think people haven’t really fully tracked yet, but I think what we’re
    0:41:28 interesting is how agents end up talking to each other. Because when we have that many agents,
    0:41:32 part of how you and I are going to coordinate, like we say, hey, what should we talk about in the
    0:41:39 podcast? Well, one of our preps will be your agent, we’ll talk to my agent. And they’ll kind of go,
    0:41:43 well, you know, these topics will be really good. And, you know, hey, when you ask a question this
    0:41:47 way, it’ll be great. And when you answer it this way, it’ll be great. And that kind of thing,
    0:41:52 or this could be a really new interesting thing to try. And that will be part of the world that we
    0:42:00 will be in. And I think that part of that will then make the premium on thinking creatively,
    0:42:06 thinking differently. You know, as you mentioned, we’ll be much higher. My guess is, for example,
    0:42:12 if you go back 30 years, and you told someone there would be these jobs called web designer,
    0:42:18 data scientist, other things, they go, what are you talking about? You know, crazy person from
    0:42:23 the future. And I think that’s another thing that we’re going to see even more of, which is like,
    0:42:28 oh, didn’t realize that was going to be the job. Huh. And that’s cool. Those are some of the things,
    0:42:35 but I try not to make overly specific predictions because usually there may all put it this way.
    0:42:38 William Gibson, science fiction author, has a really good quote, which is,
    0:42:43 “The future is already here. It’s unevenly distributed.” He’s been a great neural mancer,
    0:42:47 it was the internet, everything else. Now, he was being asked in an interview,
    0:42:54 “How did you see the future?” And he’s like, “Look, thank you for the compliment. But by the way,
    0:43:00 if you read neural mancer, sure, I got AI right. I got the internet right. I missed the mobile phone.”
    0:43:08 And so that’s the kind of thing that we’re always looking for is that surprise and delight moment.
    0:43:13 And who knows with AI to your point, like, we have no idea what we’re going to see.
    0:43:19 I’m excited to see it unfold. Okay, so I end my show with two questions. I ask all of my guests.
    0:43:23 The first, and you can just answer however you’d like, doesn’t have to be about anything we talked
    0:43:29 about today. What is one actionable thing our young and profitors can do today to become more
    0:43:36 profitable tomorrow? So to become more profitable tomorrow, I guess I won’t say literally tomorrow,
    0:43:45 right, since one day, 24 hour. I would say the important thing, you know, and this is kind of
    0:43:48 part of how I think about the world, the important thing is to be thinking about what do you think
    0:43:52 the environment your business is going to be in in one, three, and five years? And what do you
    0:43:55 think that environment is going to be changing based on patterns of technology? What do you think
    0:43:59 that’s going to be changing on patterns of competition? What do you think that’s going to
    0:44:05 be changing in patterns of how you deliver your business, supply chain, et cetera? And so by looking
    0:44:14 at that probable guess, how do you run the experiment today that informs you about which big choices
    0:44:19 you need to make in that one, three, and five year timeframe? The experiment won’t necessarily make
    0:44:25 you profitable, but the experiment may give you the thing that either gets you to more profit or
    0:44:32 also helps you navigate the changes, which things are the new living creatures and which
    0:44:37 things the dinosaurs in the future market. Great advice. And what is your secret to
    0:44:42 profiting in life? And this can go beyond financial profiting in all aspects of life.
    0:44:46 Fundamentally, part of why in the startup of you, I said life is a team sport,
    0:44:49 because the startup of you is actually advice I give to entrepreneurs,
    0:44:54 refactored to individuals being the entrepreneur of their own life. So it actually applies to
    0:44:59 founders, applies to CEOs, applies to executives, applies to people working. But it’s the question
    0:45:08 about life being a team sport. It’s you are amplified by your team. It’s more fun. You learn more,
    0:45:14 and they help you in both upside and navigating downside. So the most fundamental thing,
    0:45:18 life is a team sport. And now we’re going to have agents with our team.
    0:45:24 Exactly. Amongst our team. Yes, with our team. We’ll also have agents, and everybody will have
    0:45:30 agents. Reed, this has been such an awesome conversation. I really appreciate all your time,
    0:45:33 all your wisdom. Where can everybody learn more about you and everything that you do?
    0:45:40 Well, LinkedIn. I post just about everything there. I also have readoffman.org and this year,
    0:45:45 Publishing Super Agency. Amazing. I highly recommend everybody go get Super Agency,
    0:45:50 also get Blitzscaling. I love that book as well. Reed, thank you so much for your time today.
    0:45:53 Thank you for joining us on Young and Profiting Podcast.
    0:45:55 A great pleasure. I look forward to our next conversation.
    0:46:05 Okay, guys, that’s the second installment of my two-part conversation with the amazing Reed
    0:46:10 Hoffman. He had so many great insights about how we should think about AI and where it’s
    0:46:14 headed. And I’ve got so many takeaways from this conversation, but here’s my most important
    0:46:20 takeaways from this chat. First, big picture. New technology changes industries. And that’s
    0:46:25 what AI is going to do, and that’s what it’s going to do to your industry. So you need to get in
    0:46:30 front of it and ask, what does this technology mean for my business, my product, or service,
    0:46:37 and how will we operate as a company to get ahead of this? Technology also breeds fear and paranoia.
    0:46:43 And the conversation that mean Reed had about the potential harms of AI is one that society has had
    0:46:48 for all the other major innovations as well, from the printing press to the smartphone.
    0:46:53 People are always scared of new technology. And we should be having these conversations,
    0:46:58 but like Reed said, we should also recognize that most of our fears about these innovations
    0:47:04 actually don’t come to pass. And we live in a better world because of them. And the world we
    0:47:09 could live in, thanks to the advances in AI, could be truly transformational. As Reed put it,
    0:47:16 if we do it the right way, it could be magical. Put simply, AI means amplification intelligence.
    0:47:21 We’re going to be having AI agents on our phones and devices that become our personal
    0:47:26 assistants, our tutors, our medical and financial advisors, and so much more. We’re going to be
    0:47:32 having capabilities at our fingertips that we can’t even imagine today. We can’t even foresee
    0:47:37 what the future is going to be like. And when you think about who’s going to thrive and flourish
    0:47:43 in this world of super agents, it’s going to be the people who have managerial experience.
    0:47:48 It’s going to be the entrepreneurs, young and profitors. We are the most equipped to handle
    0:47:54 this AI revolution because we’re creative, industrious, innovative. We know how to manage,
    0:48:01 delegate, motivate. We know how to let go of control. We know how to handle this young and
    0:48:07 profitors. AI is going to multiply what you’re capable of. It is not going to replace you or
    0:48:11 your business. We’re going to ride this wave, young and profitors. Thanks for listening to
    0:48:16 this episode of Young and Profiting Podcast. If you listen, learned and profited from this
    0:48:20 conversation with the legendary Reed Hoffman, please share this episode with somebody who’d
    0:48:26 love it. And guys, I’ve been loving reading your reviews. So many of you are leaving reviews every
    0:48:31 day on Apple, Spotify, Cast Box, Player of Fame, wherever you listen to your podcasts.
    0:48:37 And it just means the world to me. I love to read your reviews. It makes me feel motivated.
    0:48:42 It’s great for our social proof. And I’d love for you guys to drop a review and help spread
    0:48:47 this podcast by word of mouth. Young and profiting is a gem for all the entrepreneurs out there.
    0:48:52 Please tell your friends, tell your family, tell your colleagues, tell all the entrepreneurs in
    0:48:57 your life that they’ve got to listen to Young and Profiting Podcasts. If you guys like to watch
    0:49:02 your podcast’s videos, I’ve been doing all this amazing YouTube content. My YouTube channel just
    0:49:07 hit 50k subscribers, which is much smaller than my audio channels, but I’m going to invest super
    0:49:12 heavily into video this year. And I just interviewed Mel Robbins in person. I interviewed Gary Vee in
    0:49:18 person. I just had Sahil Bloom in person that didn’t come out yet. So I’m doing so many more
    0:49:24 in person videos. And I absolutely love it. It’s making me a better interviewer. It is just so
    0:49:29 much better for chemistry. And I’ve just been really digging it. So check out YouTube for all
    0:49:34 the video content. If you guys want to follow me on social media, I always post like fun stories
    0:49:40 about my life on Instagram @yapwithhala. Put a face behind the name. Why not? You can also find
    0:49:45 me on LinkedIn. I’m hard to miss over there. Just search Halataha. And a big thanks to my YAP
    0:49:51 production team. If you guys don’t know, I have an award-winning social media and podcast agency.
    0:49:57 It is my podcast agency that runs this podcast. I also have a podcast network that gets me
    0:50:03 sponsorships and gets 30 other podcasts in the business space, sponsorships as well. We’re
    0:50:07 crushing it on all sides. And I’m so thankful for my team. I literally have the best team in the
    0:50:15 world. We’re so picky about who we hire. So we’ve got the A+ team at YAP who puts out A+ work
    0:50:22 and that’s why we got A+ Money in the Bank. This is your host, Halataha, aka the podcast princess,
    0:50:30 signing off.
    0:50:34 [Music]
    0:50:44 [BLANK_AUDIO]

    Starting as an early AI enthusiast during his Stanford days, Reid Hoffman was eager to explore the potential of artificial intelligence, but the technology wasn’t ready, so he shifted his focus. Years later, inspired by conversations with top tech innovators, he recognized AI’s potential and seized the moment. He became a founding investor in OpenAI and later co-founded Inflection AI. In this episode, Reid introduces the concept of “superagency,” where AI enhances human capabilities rather than replaces them, addresses common fears about AI, and shares his vision for a future shaped by AI-powered agents.

    In this episode, Hala and Reid will discuss: 

    (00:00) Introduction

    (01:06) AI as the Next Big Wave

    (03:30) AI, Jobs, and Concerns for the Future

    (08:01) Superagency: Amplifying Human Capability with AI

    (18:38) Training AI to Be a Better Human Companion 

    (22:20) Trust and Misinformation in the Age of AI 

    (25:01) Why Human Expertise Still Matters in AI

    (27:19) Reid’s AI Twin

    (30:12) Leveraging AI for Content Creation

    (31:37) How AI Will Shape the Future

    Reid Hoffman is an entrepreneur, investor, partner at Greylock, and co-founder of LinkedIn and Inflection AI. He was an executive at PayPal and a founding investor in several companies, including OpenAI. Reid actively supports various non-profits and has received numerous accolades, including an honorary CBE from the Queen of England and the Salute to Greatness Award from the Martin Luther King Jr. Center for his philanthropic efforts.

    Connect with Reid:

    Website: reidhoffman.org/ 

    LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/reidhoffman/ 

    Twitter: x.com/reidhoffman 

    Instagram: instagram.com/reidhoffman/ 

    YouTube: youtube.com/@reidhoffman

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    Rocket Money – Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to https://www.rocketmoney.com/profiting

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    RobinHood – Receive your 3% boost on annual IRA contributions, sign up at robinhood.com/gold

    Active Dealsyoungandprofiting.com/deals 

    Resources Mentioned:

    Reid’s Book, Superagency: What Could Possibly Go Right with Our AI Future: https://amzn.to/4g7cfVG

    Reid’s Book, Impromptu: Amplifying Our Humanity Through AI: amzn.to/4an8J8g 

    Reid’s AI Video, Reid Hoffman Meets His AI Twin: bit.ly/4jzlVeD 

    Key YAP Links

    Reviews – ratethispodcast.com/yap 

    Youtube – youtube.com/c/YoungandProfiting 

    LinkedIn – linkedin.com/in/htaha/ 

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    Social + Podcast Services: yapmedia.com 

    Transcripts – youngandprofiting.com/episodes-new 

  • YAPClassic: Donald Miller on How To Make Your First Million in Business

    AI transcript
    0:00:06 Today’s episode is sponsored in part by Robinhood Airbnb Open Phone Rocket Money and Indeed.
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    0:01:20 As always, you can find all of our incredible deals in the show notes or at youngandprofiting.com/deals.
    0:01:22 Welcome back, Young and Profiters.
    0:01:26 Have you ever wondered what separates successful small businesses from those that struggle
    0:01:27 to gain traction?
    0:01:32 Today on YAP Classic, we’re showcasing an interview I did with Donald Miller, the host
    0:01:38 of the Business Made Simple podcast, as well as a bestselling author and CEO of Storybrand.
    0:01:43 In this episode, we unpack the secrets of building a thriving entrepreneurial venture.
    0:01:46 This conversation was back in 2023.
    0:01:50 It was the third time that Donald came on the show, and he had so many incredible tips
    0:01:52 for building out a small business.
    0:01:57 We talked about everything from crafting the perfect mission statement, when to be financially
    0:02:02 transparent with your team, and why most businesses fail today.
    0:02:06 He also explained why you should think of your business as an airplane.
    0:02:10 Okay, gang, make sure your seats are back and tray tables are in their full upright
    0:02:17 position because this episode is about to take off.
    0:02:21 So Donald, my team tells me your new book, How to Grow Your Small Business, has already
    0:02:25 sold more copies in a pre-sale than any other book that you’ve ever written.
    0:02:27 So that’s incredible.
    0:02:29 And I think it’s a hot topic, right?
    0:02:30 The economy is not doing so well.
    0:02:32 I think a lot of businesses are struggling.
    0:02:34 So let’s begin there.
    0:02:36 Why are so many small businesses failing?
    0:02:40 Well, I’ll tell you how it all started for me, and it started with failure.
    0:02:44 So failure is only a bad thing if you let it take you down, but if you let yourself learn
    0:02:46 from it, you can get somewhere.
    0:02:52 I actually, 11 years ago, lost all of my money, my entire life savings, and a bad investment.
    0:02:54 I had paid off my house.
    0:02:55 I sold my house to buy another house.
    0:02:59 The other house sold, so I was sitting on a pile of cash, put it into an investment,
    0:03:04 woke up one Monday morning, and my entire life savings was gone, and it was devastating.
    0:03:13 11 years later, I had a $17 million company with more than 50% profit, 30 employees, and
    0:03:15 life was very, very different.
    0:03:19 And one of the main reasons it was different, and one of the main reasons I think businesses
    0:03:26 either succeed or fail, is I 100% took 100% ownership of my career and my life and my
    0:03:27 business.
    0:03:31 Everything that negative happened, I took ownership of, everything positive happened,
    0:03:32 I took ownership of.
    0:03:34 I didn’t trust other people to make me money anymore.
    0:03:40 And by that, I mean agents and speaking managers and the market, none of that stuff.
    0:03:42 I took ownership of it.
    0:03:47 And so as you talk about the economy struggling, that’s the economy.
    0:03:49 Your economy is different.
    0:03:55 So the economy has factors like trade wars with China, the war in Ukraine, all those
    0:03:57 kinds of things.
    0:03:59 Your economy is hardly affected by any of that.
    0:04:03 It might be slightly, but most of us is hardly affected by any of that.
    0:04:05 It’s actually more affected by our attitude.
    0:04:10 And if we take ownership of our economy, our economy can do incredibly well.
    0:04:16 So as I went from $0 to $17 million, I did a rough count, Hala.
    0:04:22 I think I did 572 things wrong, and I did six things right.
    0:04:26 So the book, How to Grow Your Small Business, is about the six things I did right.
    0:04:30 So the book really walks through, and I turn those six things into six steps that you need
    0:04:35 to overhaul your business and optimize it for revenue and profit.
    0:04:39 And I just laid it out so nobody has to make the 570 mistakes that I made.
    0:04:40 Yeah.
    0:04:44 And I love your work, Donald, because you always just tell things in a way that’s easy
    0:04:45 to retain.
    0:04:46 You write so clearly.
    0:04:47 It’s no fluff.
    0:04:48 So I was reading through this book, and I’m like, “This is great.
    0:04:51 I want to align everything I do with my business for this book.”
    0:04:55 Because I also have a small business, so I really relate it to it.
    0:04:57 Let’s go back to this question of why businesses fail.
    0:05:02 You talk about an S-curve in your book, and essentially it’s a growth pattern that a lot
    0:05:03 of small businesses fall into.
    0:05:07 So can you explain to us what an S-curve is and what we need to look out for?
    0:05:11 Yeah, well, the S-curve explains why most businesses fail, and they actually fail because
    0:05:13 they succeeded.
    0:05:15 And here’s what I mean by that.
    0:05:17 Nobody gets into business to run a business.
    0:05:20 Nobody, not a single person in the history of the world has ever started a business because
    0:05:22 they wanted to run a business.
    0:05:24 They started a business because they loved their customers.
    0:05:26 They loved a product.
    0:05:28 They wanted to be financially free.
    0:05:30 That’s why we start a business.
    0:05:35 If that business takes off, the business owner then finds himself doing something that they
    0:05:38 never thought or never even imagined or didn’t realize they were going to have to do, and
    0:05:40 that’s run a business.
    0:05:43 So the S-curve is you love this product.
    0:05:46 It starts taking off, and you start going up and up and up.
    0:05:48 And then all of a sudden, you’re hiring people.
    0:05:49 You’re firing people.
    0:05:51 You’re trying to figure out health care benefits.
    0:05:53 You’re dealing with customer service.
    0:05:58 All of a sudden, you’re taken out of the sweet spot you were in when the business grew, and
    0:06:01 you’re put into a different role, and that role is running a business.
    0:06:03 And almost none of us have any education.
    0:06:08 Even if you got a master’s degree in business, you don’t know how to run a business.
    0:06:11 Most master’s programs train you to be chairman of the federal treasury.
    0:06:12 They don’t train you to run a business.
    0:06:14 And so we don’t know what we’re doing.
    0:06:17 And because we don’t know what we’re doing, customers realize it.
    0:06:21 Our products aren’t as– the quality’s not as good as it used to be.
    0:06:24 The relationships we used to have with customers are now strained because we’ve turned those
    0:06:26 over to account executives.
    0:06:30 We ended up falling on hard times a little bit, so we ended up giving 90-day terms to
    0:06:33 a customer in order to get bigger profits.
    0:06:37 Then we ran into a cash flow issue, and you know what happens after that.
    0:06:39 You just kind of– you bomb.
    0:06:41 So that’s the down part of the S-curve.
    0:06:46 Now that’s where those 65% of businesses, that’s where they crash when they hit the ground.
    0:06:49 The rest of us, though, we do something.
    0:06:51 We figure out how to run a business.
    0:06:56 We figure out how to install the systems and processes that are necessary in order for
    0:07:01 a business to not hit the ground, but actually come back up and start climbing again.
    0:07:05 Those are the 35% of businesses that actually make it and go on to make millions and millions
    0:07:06 of dollars.
    0:07:11 So those systems and processes are what this book is about.
    0:07:15 It’s the six systems and processes that you need to install in your business in order to
    0:07:17 avoid crashing your business.
    0:07:22 It will teach you how to run a business so that it is a predictable, dependable revenue
    0:07:23 machine.
    0:07:24 I love that explanation.
    0:07:27 Thank you so much for covering that.
    0:07:31 Before we get into the six steps, I want to talk about your experience, because we see
    0:07:32 you now.
    0:07:35 You’re leading a $17 million company, like you were just saying.
    0:07:37 You’re hosting one of the most popular business podcasts in the world.
    0:07:38 You’re a business guru.
    0:07:42 But when you first started your business, you were actually drowning in your day-to-day.
    0:07:45 So I want to do a little bit of comparing contrast.
    0:07:49 What was Donald like day one or year one of his business?
    0:07:50 How did you spend your time?
    0:07:55 And then let’s contrast to this to Donald now with his six steps, all the knowledge,
    0:07:56 all these…
    0:07:59 We’ve had so much experience since then, and you have a whole framework around running
    0:08:00 a small business.
    0:08:04 So what was your day-to-day like year one versus now?
    0:08:10 Well, about six years ago is when my business really experienced a transformational moment.
    0:08:12 It happened in my driveway.
    0:08:16 Before then, I’ll get to the driveway in a second, but before then, I was what I call
    0:08:18 diving for dollars.
    0:08:20 We were just trying to find money anywhere I could get.
    0:08:21 If you paid me to speak, I’d go speak.
    0:08:24 If I could get a book contract, I’d get a book contract.
    0:08:27 I put out an online course and people would buy the online course.
    0:08:29 Anything I could do, I would do.
    0:08:33 And that started getting very successful, true to the S-curve, the initial rise in the
    0:08:34 S-curve.
    0:08:38 And we got to about three and a half million dollars or something like that.
    0:08:42 People were loving my marketing framework, the StoryBrand framework.
    0:08:48 We were consulting with giant brands, Procter and Gamble, Ford Lincoln, even the NSA in
    0:08:49 the government.
    0:08:51 We began consulting with.
    0:08:52 Everything was going really well.
    0:08:55 I had a mentor who is still a very good friend.
    0:08:57 His name is Bill.
    0:09:01 And Bill scaled up his company, his father’s company, into the billions and then took some
    0:09:04 of that money and bought other small companies and was mentoring some of those CEOs.
    0:09:07 He didn’t buy my company, but he was mentoring me nonetheless.
    0:09:08 And I mentioned him.
    0:09:10 I’d love for my business to get to 100 million.
    0:09:13 We were standing in my driveway after having met for a couple hours.
    0:09:17 And for the first time in my relationship with Bill, he just kind of looked at me a little
    0:09:18 bit puzzled.
    0:09:23 He knew that the $100 million number was really big and he didn’t think I was going to hit
    0:09:24 it.
    0:09:26 That’s the first time I’d ever seen that expression in him as he looked back at me.
    0:09:29 And I said, Bill, what’s going on?
    0:09:35 He said, Don, in order to hit $100 million, you are going to have to quote, professionalize
    0:09:36 your operation.
    0:09:37 That’s what he said to me.
    0:09:42 Now, I’d never heard the phrase professionalize your operation before, but it rang absolutely
    0:09:46 true as it’s ringing true to almost all of your listeners right now.
    0:09:50 What it said to me was what Bill said to me basically was you’re making it up.
    0:09:51 You’re making it up as you go along.
    0:09:52 And he also said this.
    0:09:57 He said, Don, if you leave this company, the company’s going to go down because you haven’t
    0:10:03 installed the systems and processes necessary for somebody else to come and buy this company
    0:10:05 and run it, right?
    0:10:10 And that rang so true to me that I spent the next about three to four years figuring out
    0:10:15 what the systems and processes needed to be and how the company needed to run.
    0:10:20 And the framework that I came up with is actually really simple.
    0:10:22 And that’s kind of what was missing in the market.
    0:10:23 Everything was very complicated.
    0:10:28 It took more time to sort of professionalize your operations through other systems than
    0:10:29 it did to actually build your company.
    0:10:33 You spent more time working on your company than you did catering to clients, which doesn’t
    0:10:34 work.
    0:10:35 You lose money that way.
    0:10:37 I wanted it to be really simple.
    0:10:41 And the metaphor that I came up with after I did all this stuff, when I was trying to
    0:10:46 sort of have a controlling idea to bring it all together was the metaphor of the airplane.
    0:10:51 And every airplane has, every commercial airplane has six very important parts to it, and they
    0:10:53 have to work together.
    0:10:54 The leadership is your cockpit.
    0:10:58 The people in that cockpit need to enter data into the flight computer that says where
    0:11:00 this airplane is going.
    0:11:02 Everything is reverse engineered from that leadership in the cockpit.
    0:11:08 The right engine is your marketing, and that marketing needs to produce thrust to get the
    0:11:09 plane moving.
    0:11:10 Left engine is your sales.
    0:11:12 It needs to produce more thrust to get the plane moving.
    0:11:15 Your products are your wings of the airplane.
    0:11:17 Those need to be in demand and profitable.
    0:11:21 The wings need to be big, light, and strong in order to get lift.
    0:11:24 The body of your airplane is your most expensive, heavy part.
    0:11:27 That’s your overhead, and your overhead needs to stay lean.
    0:11:31 That’s why when you get into a smaller commuter plane, you’re ducking your head because they
    0:11:35 need that thing to be small, and they’re squeezing you into those tiny seats.
    0:11:40 And then the fuel tanks of your airplane are your cash flow.
    0:11:45 And if you can actually keep the six areas of your airplane in proportion to each other,
    0:11:46 you’re going to do just fine.
    0:11:48 And it’s the same with business.
    0:11:52 In order to get a business off the ground and keep it from crashing, you’ve got to enter
    0:11:54 the right coordinates into your flight computer.
    0:11:55 Those are going to be economic coordinates.
    0:11:58 You got to clarify your marketing message and run a really good sales funnel.
    0:12:00 That’s going to get your ride engine humming.
    0:12:03 You’ve got to be able to invite customers into a story and close deals, and I’ve got
    0:12:06 a formula for you to be able to do that in your sales.
    0:12:11 You’ve got to have products that are extremely profitable and in demand.
    0:12:12 Those are going to be your wings.
    0:12:16 You’ve got to manage your team so it’s lean, efficient, and productive, which is an incredibly
    0:12:18 hard thing to do.
    0:12:20 That keeps your body of the airplane small.
    0:12:24 And you’ve got to get very clear optics on your cash flow so you never run out of cash
    0:12:28 or get surprised by a tax bill or can’t make payroll.
    0:12:31 If you can do those six things, your business is going to do just fine.
    0:12:35 Holly, you’ve interacted with as many business owners as I have.
    0:12:40 I’m sure there’s times when you’ve walked into a business and they have a really nice
    0:12:45 facility and they’re handing you all sorts of swag and 20 minutes into visiting their
    0:12:46 business.
    0:12:50 You have no idea what they do because they can’t state it clearly and you’re asking yourself
    0:12:54 how in the world are these people making money and you realize they’re not making money.
    0:12:58 They’re actually just living off private equity or venture capital money and all they’re
    0:13:02 doing is living off somebody else’s dollars and this plane is going down.
    0:13:06 It looks successful but it isn’t successful.
    0:13:11 I have zero interest in helping anybody listening to the sound of my voice look successful.
    0:13:13 I have no interest in that.
    0:13:18 I have enormous interest in you opening up your bank account and seeing a ton of money.
    0:13:19 That’s what I’m interested in.
    0:13:24 And so these are the basics of how to actually run a successful business without lying to
    0:13:25 ourselves.
    0:13:26 This is how it has to be done.
    0:13:27 Yeah.
    0:13:31 And so back to my original question, I guess when you first started your business before
    0:13:34 you had the six step framework, the business really revolved around you.
    0:13:37 That’s why you were drowning every day.
    0:13:38 Too much.
    0:13:42 So what’s the problem when you can’t actually be pulled out of your own business and the
    0:13:44 business revolves too much around the owner?
    0:13:47 Well the problem is your business isn’t worth anything.
    0:13:51 You know, if somebody comes to buy your business, one of the first questions they ask is what
    0:13:52 happens when you leave?
    0:13:59 What somebody wants to see if you want to value your business at 45678X EBITDA is they
    0:14:04 want to know that you can go to Turks and Caicos and lay on a beach for two months and
    0:14:07 never answer your phone and the business gets stronger.
    0:14:08 That’s what they want to know.
    0:14:14 So the problem in my life at that time was this business depended completely and totally
    0:14:15 on me.
    0:14:20 I was the guy who was actually necessary for this business to go and grow.
    0:14:26 Today we have close to 800 certified facilitators, coaches and guides who go out and teach these
    0:14:27 frameworks.
    0:14:34 Now if I left, we would need a new host for our podcast and that’s about it.
    0:14:37 We would need a new host for the podcast and quite honestly I think we could find a better
    0:14:40 one pretty easily but I’m not willing to give up the job at this point.
    0:14:46 So we’re way further along than we were about four or five years ago.
    0:14:51 So with this analogy of the plane, I’d love for you to explain the rule of proportions.
    0:14:55 Why is it that we sort of have to look at everything at the same time and make sure
    0:15:00 we’re being balanced and not just focus on one area and another area at a time?
    0:15:04 Let’s look at the airplane and talk about the airplane analogy as a decision-making
    0:15:05 filter.
    0:15:09 We know that we’ve got a good sales team, there’s a couple of people who are selling
    0:15:10 a lot of stuff for us.
    0:15:15 It’s really great but we’ve got this product and we’re getting many calls.
    0:15:18 Customers can’t figure out how to log in or something like that and the sales team is
    0:15:19 answering those calls.
    0:15:22 That’s a common problem in a small business.
    0:15:25 So we decide, okay, we need a customer service representative.
    0:15:28 The customer service representative is for a really good one, you’re going to pay between
    0:15:31 $60,000 and $80,000, you’re going to be right in there.
    0:15:35 You want somebody who can grow and manage a customer service team so you’re going to
    0:15:38 go ahead and spend a little more money on that.
    0:15:43 That money, you’ve got to say, “Okay, is that money going to the right engine, the left
    0:15:44 engine?
    0:15:48 Is that money going to the wings or is that money going to the body of the airplane?”
    0:15:51 A normal customer service, they’re going to save you some sales, they’re certainly going
    0:15:56 to save you some negative chatter but it’s pretty hard to put that money on the wings
    0:15:58 or the right engine, the left engine.
    0:16:02 So what we’re going to do is we’re going to say, “Well, we’re going to pay you a base
    0:16:09 salary of $50,000 but we’re going to give you some incentives for every retainer purchase
    0:16:15 that is a subscription service that sticks around, who we know calls you and talks to
    0:16:20 you or emails you or chats you, we’re going to give you 10% of that and we think you can
    0:16:27 save X number of sales a year, which is going to get you to between $65,000 and $85,000.
    0:16:28 What did we just do?
    0:16:33 We just put a big chunk of that person’s salary out of the body of the airplane and
    0:16:38 out onto the right and left engine and we can spend a lot more money on the right and
    0:16:41 left engine than we can on the body of the airplane.
    0:16:45 Whenever you go into a business and they’ve got this great facility with really beautiful
    0:16:51 furniture and all sorts of great swag, everything that I just mentioned is the body of the airplane.
    0:16:55 Really what you’re looking at, and you can see it within about 10 minutes of a conversation
    0:16:59 with a business owner, what you’re looking at, imagine, “Hala, let’s say that you and
    0:17:04 your friends are going to do a great week in Hawaii and you buy the plane ticket and you’re
    0:17:10 at the airport, you walk out on the tarmac and that plane has a giant body, two tiny
    0:17:19 little wings, some little rubber band propellers on each of the wings and fuel is pouring out
    0:17:21 of the fuel tanks onto the tarmac.
    0:17:22 Are you getting on that airplane?
    0:17:23 No.
    0:17:24 No.
    0:17:28 That’s what so many businesses look like and people don’t realize it’s happening.
    0:17:32 The way I hired my uncle, well, we clearly need a new logo and some swag.
    0:17:36 Well, let’s create this website that isn’t very clear and doesn’t actually close sales
    0:17:38 and is kind of passive aggressive.
    0:17:42 All those decisions are how you engineer a really horrible, horrible airplane.
    0:17:47 If you look at every single business in history that has crashed, what you’re looking at is
    0:17:49 an airplane that wasn’t engineered very well.
    0:17:50 I love this analogy.
    0:17:55 It really does help you give a framework to kind of think of it intuitively and I’m sure
    0:17:59 that as you’re making decisions, if you learn this framework, you’ll start to remember these
    0:18:02 things and not try to make your plane crash.
    0:18:04 Do everything you can to keep it flying.
    0:18:05 That’s right.
    0:18:06 I agree with you.
    0:18:07 That’s how we got there.
    0:18:10 In 17 million, there’s a lot of people listening who have a bigger company than that.
    0:18:14 We’re still very, very committed to growing this one to try to get to that 100 million,
    0:18:18 but the way that we will get there is we’ll continue to engineer a really great airplane.
    0:18:22 If you’re on my sales team or my marketing team, you’re probably going to be paid a little
    0:18:24 bit more than if you’re in the body of the airplane.
    0:18:27 Even anybody in the body of the airplane, we’re trying to figure out how to incentivize
    0:18:32 you to actually have you participate in the profitability of this business so that you
    0:18:34 can make more money.
    0:18:37 Let’s hold that thought and take a quick break with our sponsors.
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    0:22:02 I needed a monthly subscription option, I needed chat capabilities, I needed a laundry
    0:22:07 list of features to enable what I was envisioning with my course.
    0:22:12 But here’s the thing, all I had to do was literally lift a finger to get it all done.
    0:22:17 And that’s because I used Shopify.
    0:22:24 Shopify is the easiest way to sell anything, to sell online or in person, it’s the home
    0:22:26 of the number one checkout on the planet.
    0:22:32 And Shopify is not so secret secret as Shoppay, which boosts conversions up to 50%.
    0:22:37 That means way fewer cards get abandoned and way more sales get done.
    0:22:41 If you’re into growing your business, your commerce platform better be ready to sell
    0:22:45 wherever your customers are scrolling and strolling.
    0:22:49 On the web, in your store, in the feed, and everywhere in between.
    0:22:54 Put simply, businesses that sell more sell with Shopify.
    0:22:58 Upgrade your business and get the same checkout we use at YAP Media with Shopify.
    0:23:03 Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at shopify.com/profiting.
    0:23:09 And that’s all lowercase young and profitors, that’s shopify.com/profiting.
    0:23:22 Go to shopify.com/profiting to upgrade your selling today, shopify.com/profiting.
    0:23:23 So let’s dive in.
    0:23:26 You gave a great overview of the six steps.
    0:23:30 Leadership, marketing, sales, products, overhead, and operations.
    0:23:32 And the last step is cashflow.
    0:23:33 So let’s dive into some of these steps.
    0:23:38 I want to dive into leadership, which you say is the cockpit of the airplane.
    0:23:42 And leadership is basically in charge of getting everybody to an end destination.
    0:23:45 Your business needs to have a clear mission.
    0:23:49 And so a lot of people, they don’t have a clear mission, right?
    0:23:50 That’s something that they’re missing.
    0:23:52 When they first started, like I’ll give myself for an example.
    0:23:56 I have a company, Yap Media, we scaled to $7 million in three years.
    0:24:01 And this year, we’re on track to do $8 million, which is amazing.
    0:24:03 And so my company is doing great.
    0:24:08 And when I first started, it was a team of volunteers, and we were so tight, and everybody
    0:24:12 had a mission, and I was hand training everyone, and everything was great.
    0:24:17 And then year one, it was like, boom, we blew up to 60 employees, and it’s like all of a
    0:24:19 sudden, like things weren’t as smooth anymore.
    0:24:22 Like we’re still running a great business, but it just wasn’t like before, like things
    0:24:26 used to just like happen like magic, because we were so aligned.
    0:24:28 Everybody had the same values, all that kind of stuff.
    0:24:31 And so now I’m actually resetting my organization.
    0:24:36 I just went through a whole workshop where we set up new core values.
    0:24:39 We’re having a new mission, all these things that you talked about in your books.
    0:24:43 I’m like, oh my gosh, this is just so relevant to everything that I’m doing right now.
    0:24:45 So let’s talk about mission statements first.
    0:24:49 You say there’s three components that make up an effective mission statement.
    0:24:53 I love this ’cause I’m literally developing my new mission statement now.
    0:24:58 And the first component you say is containing three economic objectives that you can actually
    0:24:59 measure.
    0:25:03 So I’d love to understand why three, is it only three, can it be more than three?
    0:25:07 Why three, and why do we need to have some measurable objectives in our mission?
    0:25:13 I think the best formula for a mission statement is we will accomplish X by Y because of Z.
    0:25:16 We will accomplish X by Y because of Z.
    0:25:21 If you can, write that down ’cause it really will align your entire team.
    0:25:25 The X, we will accomplish X, are three economic objectives.
    0:25:30 And the challenge is, we’ve gotta figure out the three ways that we make money the most.
    0:25:33 What are the three ways that we make the most money?
    0:25:39 Most businesses somewhere fall in line in that Pareta principle of 80% of their money
    0:25:41 comes from 20% of their products.
    0:25:44 80% of the money comes from 20% of their audience.
    0:25:46 It’s almost true for every business out there.
    0:25:50 Almost 20% can usually be defined with three economic objectives.
    0:25:56 Now, I only give you three, not because you only have three or because I only want you
    0:25:57 to have three.
    0:26:02 I give you three because the human brain has a limitation and it’s usually three priorities.
    0:26:06 It’s very hard for a brain to prioritize more than three things.
    0:26:08 It can do four, it cannot do five.
    0:26:13 So three is very important, not because any other reason other than your brain’s just
    0:26:15 not gonna focus on any more than three things.
    0:26:19 So you want to figure out one of the top three ways you make money, then you want to have
    0:26:21 numeric goals.
    0:26:25 So when I say we will accomplish, here’s my, here’s our actual mission statement if business
    0:26:26 made simple.
    0:26:32 We will have 500 certified coaches, 900 certified marketing guides, and 18,000 people inside
    0:26:34 of our online platform.
    0:26:35 That’s it.
    0:26:41 Buy January 1 of 2024 because every small business owner deserves an education in growing
    0:26:42 their business.
    0:26:46 So here’s what’s really cool about the three economic objectives.
    0:26:49 The second we stated and wrote in our mission statement the three economic objectives, we
    0:26:50 had a filter.
    0:26:54 It was the next day we were in a meeting and we were about five minutes into talking about
    0:26:58 an initiative when somebody raised their hand and said, “Hey guys, this doesn’t have anything
    0:27:00 to do with our three economic objectives.
    0:27:01 Do we still want to do it?”
    0:27:04 And everybody in the room just went, “Actually, no.
    0:27:08 We’re wasting our time because those are the three ways that we make the most money.
    0:27:10 We’re talking about something that’s actually not going to make us much money at all.
    0:27:13 We just had a customer bring it up and we’re trying to answer the customer question.
    0:27:16 We need to just answer the customer’s question saying, “Actually, we’ve decided not to do
    0:27:17 that.”
    0:27:18 So you get a filter.
    0:27:24 That alone will cause a massive forward thrust in your organization because now everybody
    0:27:27 in the organization is trying to support three things.
    0:27:30 Then the Y, we will accomplish X by Y because of Z.
    0:27:32 The Y is actually your deadline.
    0:27:35 I recommend setting a two-year deadline.
    0:27:36 You can go three years.
    0:27:39 Anything beyond three years is not going to motivate anybody.
    0:27:46 So we set our goal over a year ago and now we’re about 10 months away from hitting it
    0:27:48 and we’re on track to hit it.
    0:27:52 So what a deadline does inside of a mission statement creates a sense of urgency.
    0:27:54 You say, “Don, mission statements don’t have deadlines.”
    0:27:55 You’re right.
    0:27:59 Most large corporations don’t put deadlines in mission statements because those corporations
    0:28:03 have mission statements written by lawyers on behalf of shareholders.
    0:28:05 You don’t have a team of lawyers and you don’t have shareholders.
    0:28:10 You have the luxury and it is a crazy luxury that you should take advantage of of writing
    0:28:12 a new mission statement every two or three years.
    0:28:15 And usually in your mission statement, all you’re going to do is adjust X and Y and that’s
    0:28:16 really it.
    0:28:19 If you don’t like it as a mission statement, just call it a goal statement and let these
    0:28:22 two statements be parallel to each other.
    0:28:23 Finally the Z.
    0:28:25 We will accomplish X by Y because of Z.
    0:28:26 Z is the Y.
    0:28:31 It’s the reason that you’re in business and it’s usually customer-centric.
    0:28:32 We are doing this.
    0:28:37 You’re going to accomplish these three things by January of 2024 because and then you want
    0:28:41 to state the problem that your customer has and how you’re going to solve it.
    0:28:45 That mission statement aligns your team and first of all, it’s memorable.
    0:28:49 Every single member of my team knows that mission statement where most people write
    0:28:51 a mission statement and nobody remembers their mission statement.
    0:28:53 Even the person who wrote it can’t remember it.
    0:28:56 If you’ve forgotten the mission statement, you’ve forgotten the mission.
    0:29:02 So that mission statement is really, really key and it’s the first part of your leadership
    0:29:03 statement.
    0:29:05 Those would be the economic coordinates that you’re entering into the flight computer.
    0:29:06 Yeah.
    0:29:10 I really like this framework because I think giving some measurable things that people
    0:29:13 can align to, it helps people understand their progress.
    0:29:17 Like, guys, we are way off our target and we have only this amount of time to get there
    0:29:19 and we better hustle and step on the gas.
    0:29:25 So I feel like it gives people a measuring stick in terms of how they’re doing towards
    0:29:26 the mission.
    0:29:29 We’re usually, like you said, missions are usually like vague and fluffy.
    0:29:31 They’re just sort of like directional.
    0:29:35 This is like very specific, which I think anything more specific is going to get people
    0:29:37 closer to an actual goal.
    0:29:38 That’s right.
    0:29:42 And then you align your team around those objectives and people know whether or not
    0:29:43 they are winning or losing.
    0:29:49 When you actually state three economic objectives, your whole team knows in real time whether
    0:29:52 or not you’re hitting them, whether you’re behind them, whether you’re ahead of them.
    0:29:56 And by the way, if you’re behind them, it bothers everybody, which is exactly what
    0:29:57 you want.
    0:29:58 You want this bothering everybody.
    0:30:02 So they’re going to come to you and say, “Hey, can we either adjust the economic objectives
    0:30:04 or what’s our plan to fix them?”
    0:30:08 Or if you didn’t have economic objectives, nobody would even know that there’s anything
    0:30:09 wrong with the business.
    0:30:14 And you wouldn’t have those, the instrument data on your dashboard to be able to know
    0:30:17 that you’re actually flying upside down and heading straight toward the ground.
    0:30:21 So those three economic objectives are, you’re not always doing well with them, but if you’re
    0:30:25 not doing well, they still serve you because you know you’re not doing well and you’re
    0:30:26 not confused.
    0:30:27 Yeah.
    0:30:29 So this is really good advice.
    0:30:32 How about getting this mission statement to stick within the organization?
    0:30:38 Let’s say you’ve got over 20 employees, you’re not able to one-on-one explain it to everyone.
    0:30:43 What are the ways that you can distill this information to get it to stick with your workers?
    0:30:49 Well, one of the absolute hardest things to do is to get a team aligned around the economic
    0:30:51 objectives of the organization.
    0:30:53 And we have a framework.
    0:30:57 It’s actually on chapter five of the book to help you do that.
    0:31:01 And the framework is five meetings that you want to have with your team.
    0:31:04 And some of the meetings will happen every week, some of the meetings happen almost every
    0:31:06 day, some of the meetings happen once a quarter.
    0:31:11 But those five meetings are the all staff meeting, the department stand-up, the personal priority
    0:31:18 stand-up, the quarterly performance review, and then you will have an occasional revenue
    0:31:19 meeting also.
    0:31:23 The three economic objectives and the mission statement need to be talked at about during
    0:31:25 every all staff meeting.
    0:31:29 You actually open up the all staff meeting with those three economic objectives.
    0:31:32 That happens on Monday, once a week.
    0:31:34 Then the next meeting is your department stand-up.
    0:31:38 The three economic objectives get repeated at the department stand-up.
    0:31:43 So you are instilling these economic objectives in every single team member.
    0:31:47 Then also at the department stand-up, the five priorities of that department which have to
    0:31:52 serve the economic objectives are also discussed and the team in about 15 minutes discusses
    0:31:55 whether or not they’re hitting their five priorities so that we can hit these economic
    0:31:56 objectives.
    0:32:00 Not only that, but in the personal stand-up that every single employee has with their
    0:32:05 department leader for about 15 minutes, they discuss their five priorities that serve the
    0:32:09 department’s five priorities that serve the three economic objectives.
    0:32:15 So you are constantly, constantly, constantly meeting, talking about what the economic objectives
    0:32:19 are, what your department is doing to hit those objectives, and what every person is
    0:32:21 doing to hit those objectives.
    0:32:26 And if you actually install those meetings into your organization, it’s impossible to
    0:32:30 forget where we’re going and why you’re so important to actually help us achieve where
    0:32:31 we’re going.
    0:32:34 What about the business owners who are scared of being like transparent?
    0:32:37 Because I could imagine that there’s a lot of business owners that are like, “I don’t
    0:32:42 want to talk about our financial goals or what we’re making, especially with like maybe
    0:32:45 the lowest level employees and things like that.
    0:32:46 What would you say to them?”
    0:32:52 I personally am a fan of not hiding the numbers, not hiding how much money we’re making, not
    0:32:54 hiding how many orders came in.
    0:32:55 I don’t want to hide any of that.
    0:33:00 The reason that small business owners don’t like exposing the numbers to their team members
    0:33:04 is because it exposes the fact that the company is making millions and the team member is
    0:33:09 making $40,000, and all they see is that disparity.
    0:33:14 But the way you actually get around that or get over that is you actually give the entire
    0:33:16 team a really great economic education.
    0:33:21 So you actually say, “Look, we’re making $2 million this year.
    0:33:24 Our overhead is about $1.2 million.”
    0:33:29 That means there’s $800,000 left, and we’re going to give half of that to the government.
    0:33:32 So that’s $400,000 that’s left.
    0:33:35 We have to put X amount in our rainy day fund.
    0:33:40 So at the end of the day, this is about what I make, and this is about what you make.
    0:33:45 But if you can help us make more, and if you have ideas to help us make more, your salary
    0:33:47 will go up as well.
    0:33:53 And I just love teaching all 30 of my employees how a small business really, really works.
    0:33:55 They by the way, know.
    0:33:58 They pretty much know exactly what I’m making, which is a lot of money.
    0:34:01 They also know that we are incredibly generous with that money.
    0:34:05 They know that we bought a building that houses the business.
    0:34:06 That building is incredibly expensive.
    0:34:11 Yes, it’s an asset that my family will be able to own 50 and 60 years from now, but
    0:34:12 I don’t get that cash.
    0:34:16 I bought that building so that we could all live inside of this building.
    0:34:18 I just don’t hide the numbers.
    0:34:22 And then if somebody gets upset about that and resents that, they don’t belong on my
    0:34:23 team.
    0:34:27 Or if they get upset about that and resent that, I sit them down and I say, “Would you
    0:34:29 like to run a business?”
    0:34:33 Because if you leave me and you run a business, I will do everything I can to help you, because
    0:34:35 I want you to experience this too.
    0:34:37 Let me tell you what also happens.
    0:34:39 Everything stops with you.
    0:34:41 If that business fails, it’s your fault.
    0:34:43 The government doesn’t come for my employees.
    0:34:46 They come for me if I don’t pay taxes.
    0:34:48 Somebody slips on a banana peel in my parking lot.
    0:34:49 They don’t sue you.
    0:34:50 They sue me.
    0:34:55 And I just want you to know there’s an enormous amount of risk in starting a business, but
    0:34:59 if you can make it work, it’s worth it and I will help you do it.
    0:35:03 But at this point, you work for me and I need you to produce more.
    0:35:06 With that conversation, why not just tell them the truth?
    0:35:11 I think one of the reasons that Americans feel like victims, especially the generation
    0:35:15 behind me and the generation behind them, are not going to make as much money as their
    0:35:19 parents is because they don’t actually understand how money works.
    0:35:21 And I want to teach everybody I can.
    0:35:26 This is how money works and I don’t want anybody excluded from being able to participate.
    0:35:30 It’s high risk, it’s high stress, but if you want to go for it, I’m all for you.
    0:35:31 Let’s go for it.
    0:35:32 I’ll help you.
    0:35:33 I’m Donald Preach.
    0:35:34 That was great.
    0:35:37 So let’s talk about core values, sticking on leadership.
    0:35:40 So like I said, I’m doing a lot of core values work.
    0:35:42 We just came up with our new values at Yep Media.
    0:35:46 So we’re scrappy hustlers, we’re obsessive with excellence, we step on the gas.
    0:35:47 Together we win.
    0:35:50 We have all these different headlines that we created for our core values and we did
    0:35:53 a lot of work around it and I’m really excited to roll it out.
    0:35:57 And you talk about similar things in your book related to core values and how everybody
    0:36:01 needs key characteristics defined for your team members.
    0:36:05 So why do you think core values can help you unite a team and how can they help leaders
    0:36:08 actually make decisions more quickly as well?
    0:36:12 One of the great things about core values I think is it helps you define an aspirational
    0:36:13 identity.
    0:36:15 This is who we’re going to be.
    0:36:19 We’re going to be people who love our jobs, we’re going to be people who care about each
    0:36:21 other, have each other’s backs.
    0:36:24 Those are core values and so when you point to core values, you’re basically pointing
    0:36:27 to what’s expected if you were going to work here.
    0:36:31 Now one of the downfalls of core values is they’re always vague and if somebody says
    0:36:33 our core value is integrity.
    0:36:40 If you caught a bank robber in mid bank robbery and you said, explain to me why you’re doing
    0:36:41 this.
    0:36:43 I promise you they’re going to defend their integrity.
    0:36:46 These rich people have all the money and I’m taking it to whatever.
    0:36:49 They’re robbing a freaking bank and they think they have integrity.
    0:36:50 So it’s just too vague.
    0:36:55 So I like core values but more than that, I like two other things.
    0:36:58 Key characteristics and critical actions.
    0:37:03 Key characteristics are the characteristics that you need to have in order for us to hit
    0:37:05 our economic objectives.
    0:37:08 If I run a pet store, I need you to love pets.
    0:37:15 If we run a software company, I need you to obsess about the easy, simple user interfaces.
    0:37:17 And so now I know who to hire.
    0:37:19 I’m not just hiring somebody with integrity.
    0:37:21 I’m hiring somebody with integrity who loves animals.
    0:37:28 So those key characteristics are more true to your team than they are to anybody else.
    0:37:32 It’s where you actually dial down into the uniqueness of your culture.
    0:37:35 Now critical actions go even further.
    0:37:39 Critical actions are the things that we are all going to do together to hit our economic
    0:37:40 objectives.
    0:37:48 If I have a restaurant and one of my economic objectives is we’re going to sell 35% for
    0:37:52 every client for our customers to come to the restaurant, 35% of them are going to get
    0:37:53 a dessert.
    0:37:54 Well, we’re at 15%.
    0:37:58 So what we’re going to do is we’re going to say our critical action is we ask every
    0:38:02 single person eating have you tried our world famous brownie.
    0:38:06 We’re going to ask every and so as soon as you make that a critical action, guess what’s
    0:38:08 going to happen to your brownie sales?
    0:38:09 They’re going to go way up.
    0:38:14 So if you have three core values, three critical actions and three key characteristics, your
    0:38:16 entire culture changes.
    0:38:21 If you go to Chick-fil-A, a fast food place in the American South and they’re spreading
    0:38:24 all over and you say thank you, they say my pleasure.
    0:38:25 That’s a critical action.
    0:38:30 When somebody says thank you, a critical action is you say my pleasure and you position yourself
    0:38:35 as the servant of the person that you’re actually talking to in a humble way.
    0:38:39 Those are the sorts of things that create a culture and you need at least three critical
    0:38:45 actions that one, stimulate your bottom line and help you achieve your economic objectives
    0:38:51 and two, actually support and empower your culture to be defined.
    0:38:55 You say there’s three kinds of leaders that you normally find at the top of successful
    0:38:58 small businesses, the artist, the operator and the entrepreneur.
    0:39:02 I thought this was fun because I have three main executives on my team and I thought we
    0:39:05 each fit in those buckets and I thought that was exciting.
    0:39:07 So tell us what those mean.
    0:39:09 That’s why you’re doing so well.
    0:39:14 Normally if your business gets past four or five million, you need to have three people,
    0:39:18 three personalities and they’re very different, helping you run the team.
    0:39:23 So once your business gets past, again, three or four million, these three personalities
    0:39:27 are necessary in order for the business to actually grow.
    0:39:31 And this is what, if there’s three people on your leadership team, I hope you have one
    0:39:34 of each and one is the artist.
    0:39:37 And by artist, I’m not talking about like a poet or a painter.
    0:39:40 I’m talking about somebody who obsesses about products.
    0:39:41 They love the products.
    0:39:42 They love making them.
    0:39:43 They love supporting them.
    0:39:45 They love marketing them.
    0:39:46 They love talking to customers about them.
    0:39:47 They love improving them.
    0:39:51 That the artist, my guess is, Hala, that you are an artist.
    0:39:53 I am also an artist.
    0:39:56 Now the other personality that you need is actually the operator.
    0:39:59 The operator is not going to help you make any products.
    0:40:00 They’re just not.
    0:40:02 What they’re going to help you do is manage the team.
    0:40:05 They’re going to help you manage the priorities and manage the people and make sure everybody’s
    0:40:09 working really hard because the artist normally doesn’t like to do that.
    0:40:11 They want to obsess about the product.
    0:40:14 And then the third personality is the entrepreneur.
    0:40:19 And the entrepreneur looks at what the artist did and looks at what the team is capable of
    0:40:22 doing and says, “How can this machine make more money?”
    0:40:23 Period.
    0:40:27 If we segment an audience and send them this sales funnel, then we can make more money
    0:40:28 with this.
    0:40:33 If we actually run a live webinar, we’ll collect more leads and we’ll do this.
    0:40:35 The entrepreneur is thinking of that way.
    0:40:40 If you have an artist, an operator, and an entrepreneur on your leadership team, you
    0:40:41 are going to win.
    0:40:43 And here’s what’s actually very interesting.
    0:40:48 It doesn’t matter if the artist, the entrepreneur, or the operator is actually the CEO.
    0:40:50 It doesn’t matter.
    0:40:53 Any of those, if you look at somebody like Tim Cook, he’s an operator.
    0:40:56 Somebody like Steve Jobs would be an artist.
    0:40:59 The company has done extremely well under both of those.
    0:41:08 But I guarantee you, surrounding Tim Cook are really good entrepreneurs and really
    0:41:09 good artists.
    0:41:14 So you need those three personalities in the cockpit of your airplane using the metaphor
    0:41:16 of an airplane to run your small business.
    0:41:20 You need those three personalities in order to really scale the company and reach its
    0:41:21 full potential.
    0:41:22 I really like that analogy.
    0:41:23 It’s really cool.
    0:41:26 So the second step is about marketing.
    0:41:27 We’re not going to cover that, guys.
    0:41:32 If you listen to episode 120, which I’m going to replay on this podcast, me and Donald cover
    0:41:35 the seven step story brand framework in detail.
    0:41:37 So it’ll be right on the feed for you guys.
    0:41:40 Way to find episode 120 will be a Yap classic.
    0:41:41 So check that out.
    0:41:45 And we’re going to move on to sales because offline, Donald told me that, “Hey, we got
    0:41:46 to talk about sales.”
    0:41:50 He said, “I can really help your audience if we talk about sales.”
    0:41:55 So you said step three, left engine of the plane is the sales step.
    0:42:00 And in this step, you have to make the customers a hero during the sales pitch.
    0:42:04 And so, from my understanding, you actually didn’t like selling when you first started
    0:42:05 your business.
    0:42:09 So why didn’t you like selling and then how did you learn how to sell more effectively?
    0:42:14 Well, I didn’t like selling and I’ve learned to like it because I basically stopped selling
    0:42:18 and I started inviting customers into a story and I realized I didn’t have to sell anything.
    0:42:24 All I had to do is make my offer extremely clear and I sold a lot more of whatever it
    0:42:25 was that I was selling.
    0:42:30 The problem with sales training and sales education is you don’t get adoption.
    0:42:34 Big companies play millions and millions of dollars to bring in sales trainers and up
    0:42:37 to 70% of their sales force will ignore it.
    0:42:40 They’re only getting 30% adoption if that.
    0:42:43 And so, I don’t love the idea of sales training.
    0:42:48 What I love though is to teach all sorts of sales account executives, all sorts of small
    0:42:49 business owners.
    0:42:57 I love teaching them a formula to do one specific thing and that is this, write a follow-up
    0:43:00 email to a customer that will close the deal.
    0:43:05 So let’s say you spend a day with a customer, maybe you were at a workshop and there were
    0:43:10 5,000 people in the audience and a bunch of them gave you your email address.
    0:43:14 Whatever it is, what you want to do is you actually want to go back to your hotel room
    0:43:19 or go back home, open up your computer and you want to email whoever you just had a conversation
    0:43:24 with an email and this is what the email needs to do in order to close the sale.
    0:43:26 First, start with the problem.
    0:43:32 Here today, we talked about how we all struggle with X and I know that can be very painful.
    0:43:33 Start with the problem.
    0:43:37 Step two, position your product as the solution to the problem.
    0:43:43 Nobody has to deal with this anymore because we have created X and if you buy X, your problem
    0:43:44 will be solved.
    0:43:45 That’s step two.
    0:43:47 Step one, define the problem.
    0:43:49 Step two, position your product as the solution to the problem.
    0:43:53 Step three, give them a three-step plan to buy it.
    0:43:55 A three-step plan, don’t overthink it.
    0:44:00 In order for you to engage this, all you need to do is have an intake session with me where
    0:44:01 we talk about it.
    0:44:05 Second, I’ll give you a custom strategy on what I think you should do and three, if
    0:44:07 you want to move forward, you and I can move forward.
    0:44:11 You want to remove the cognitive dissonance by giving people baby steps.
    0:44:15 Then step four is actually to paint the negative stakes.
    0:44:19 I don’t want to see you struggle with this anymore and I know if you don’t buy my product,
    0:44:23 you’re going to keep struggling with it and a month from now, a year from now, this is
    0:44:24 going to be even more painful.
    0:44:26 Let’s deal with it now.
    0:44:28 Step four are negative stakes.
    0:44:30 Step five is positive stakes.
    0:44:34 However, with my product, this is the life that you’re going to experience and here’s
    0:44:36 how great your life will be.
    0:44:39 Then finally, step six, ask for the sale.
    0:44:42 I think you should buy this product today.
    0:44:43 It’s the right product for you.
    0:44:46 Click here and enjoy this special offer.
    0:44:47 Let me just summarize it.
    0:44:51 Start with the problem, position your product as a solution, give them a three-step plan,
    0:44:55 paint the negative stakes, paint the positive stakes and call the customer to action.
    0:45:00 If you write that follow-up email, you will close way more sales.
    0:45:04 Not only will you close more sales, but you will have just learned how to sell.
    0:45:08 And the way you learn how to sell is you find out what the customer’s problem is and you
    0:45:10 position your product as a solution.
    0:45:14 If you do it five times in an email, you will never have a sales conversation again.
    0:45:15 That’s the same.
    0:45:19 For instance, if you work at a mattress store, because we work with Tim Persily to train
    0:45:22 some of their salespeople, you don’t want to go up and say, “What brought you in today?”
    0:45:23 You know what brought them in today.
    0:45:25 They’re looking for a mattress.
    0:45:27 You want to go up and you say, “Hey, welcome into the store.
    0:45:28 Let me just ask you.
    0:45:30 What do you hate about your current mattress?”
    0:45:32 If you say, “What do you hate about your current mattress?”
    0:45:35 They’re going to say, “Well, it’s too soft in the middle or it’s hurting my back or
    0:45:37 it’s too warm at night.”
    0:45:38 And whatever.
    0:45:39 And you say, “Great.
    0:45:41 I’ve got three things, three mattresses here that will solve that.
    0:45:44 Let’s take a look at them because they’re at different price points and they have some
    0:45:45 different things.”
    0:45:50 That’s a mile into the sales conversation and when you ask what brings you in today,
    0:45:51 you’re nowhere.
    0:45:52 You’re absolutely nowhere.
    0:45:53 They’re going to try to avoid you.
    0:45:55 That’s how you sell and it’s all you need to know.
    0:45:59 We’ll be right back after a quick break from our sponsors.
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    0:47:06 You know, it’s interesting, Hala.
    0:47:12 I just spoke to 250 sales reps for a big, probably $1.4 billion company, 250 sales
    0:47:13 reps in the room.
    0:47:19 And I said, “Hey, raise your hand if there’s a customer that hasn’t made a decision yet.
    0:47:21 You’ve been interacting with them, but they’re sitting the fence.
    0:47:23 250 hands go up.
    0:47:24 That’s a sales rep’s job.”
    0:47:26 So everybody in the room had that.
    0:47:27 I said, “Open your computer.
    0:47:31 We are literally going to write them an email right now.”
    0:47:34 And we spent the next hour formulating 250 emails.
    0:47:38 I said, “Hit send,” and then I needed to get off the stage because I had a flight.
    0:47:41 So the Chief Revenue Officer got up and said, “Don, thanks,” and I rolled my bag out of
    0:47:42 the back of the door.
    0:47:45 Got a call two days later to my staff.
    0:47:47 Chief Revenue Officer said, “I’ve never seen anything like it.
    0:47:50 We closed $2.4 million worth of sales in the room.”
    0:47:52 Wow.
    0:47:55 And it’s not because we coerced the audience into buying anything.
    0:47:57 It’s not because we manipulated anybody.
    0:48:01 What those customers were doing, we’re sitting the fence because they didn’t fully understand
    0:48:03 why they needed that product.
    0:48:06 And every sales rep in that room made it clear.
    0:48:08 And now, they tasted that success.
    0:48:11 I’m sure they’ve made tens of millions now because that was over a month ago.
    0:48:16 And they’re starting to have very different sales conversations and sending out very different
    0:48:19 proposals and giving very different presentations.
    0:48:24 That formula works for follow-up emails, works for in-person conversations, works for keynote
    0:48:27 presentations, works for elevator pitches, works for proposals.
    0:48:30 That’s the formula you want to use to close sales.
    0:48:32 This reminds me of something that Erica Dewan came on my show.
    0:48:35 She’s a workplace productivity expert.
    0:48:37 And so much of our communications are digital now.
    0:48:43 So much of what we do in our work is reading screens, reading Slack, reading email.
    0:48:46 And she says that writing clearly is the new empathy.
    0:48:49 It used to be that speaking clearly was the new empathy and listening was the new empathy.
    0:48:53 Now, it’s writing clearly is the new empathy.
    0:48:56 You can’t write, especially a response email.
    0:49:00 If you’ve already started a conversation with somebody, you can’t write a good email without
    0:49:02 having done a very good job listening.
    0:49:07 If I said, “Hala, you and I had a great conversation, congratulations on your $8 million.
    0:49:08 I think that’s incredible.
    0:49:13 I heard you when you said you have 60 employees and things have gotten more chaotic.
    0:49:15 I felt your pain.”
    0:49:19 Chapter five of my new book will walk you through five meetings that will completely revolutionize
    0:49:20 your staff.
    0:49:23 And when in about three months, you won’t feel that pain anymore if you run these five
    0:49:24 meetings.
    0:49:28 That’s me listening and saying, “Well, here’s the part of my product that would solve Hala’s
    0:49:29 problem.”
    0:49:30 You start doing that.
    0:49:35 You have a lot more books and a lot more leashes for dogs and a lot more nutritional supplements
    0:49:36 or whatever it is that you sell.
    0:49:37 You’re going to sell a lot more of them.
    0:49:38 Yeah.
    0:49:40 So let’s talk about the language of sales a little bit.
    0:49:45 Why do we need to think in story and how do we speak in story when we’re trying to sell
    0:49:47 to potential customers?
    0:49:50 Well, story is the universal language.
    0:49:54 And when you’re having any kind of conversation, whether it’s getting together with a friend
    0:49:59 to catch up or it’s a sales conversation or even if it’s a conversation with your therapist,
    0:50:04 what your brain is doing the entire time is trying to organize events into the structure
    0:50:05 of story.
    0:50:09 Your brain is subconsciously figuring out who the hero is, what the problem they’re
    0:50:13 up against is, how they’re going to get out of that problem, what the happy ever life will
    0:50:15 look like if they do get out of that problem.
    0:50:21 So because most people are not actually very good communicators, it’s very hard to figure
    0:50:23 out what the story is actually about.
    0:50:29 But if we actually lay out our communication in the form of story, the person that we’re
    0:50:33 talking to doesn’t have to use any mental bandwidth in order to understand what we’re
    0:50:34 talking about.
    0:50:38 And that gives the brain a really pleasant feeling because the brain doesn’t have to
    0:50:40 work hard to organize the information.
    0:50:43 We tend to follow leaders who are able to do that.
    0:50:47 And we tend to buy products from account executives who are able to do that.
    0:50:52 Can you give us an example in terms of speaking in story versus not?
    0:50:56 Like just, I don’t know if this is too hard to do, but like if you were to sell something,
    0:51:01 trying to sell it in a way that’s not with a story versus one that is.
    0:51:06 Well, we’ve worked with a number of politicians on the Republican and Democratic side.
    0:51:07 I’m not a Republican or Democrat.
    0:51:11 I find myself pretty much squarely in the middle and don’t really like either party because
    0:51:13 I think they’re destroying the country.
    0:51:16 But I’ve gone in and I’ve helped some folks.
    0:51:22 And a few elections ago, Hillary Clinton’s tagline was, “I’m with her.”
    0:51:26 Okay, well, if I’m with her, the story is about her, it’s not about me.
    0:51:27 I don’t know where we’re going.
    0:51:29 I’m with her, but I don’t know where we’re going.
    0:51:31 I don’t know what we’re trying to accomplish.
    0:51:33 I don’t know what’s in it for me if we get there.
    0:51:35 In fact, I don’t even know where there is.
    0:51:38 She did not effectively invite people into a story.
    0:51:41 And so it’s not that people liked Donald Trump more.
    0:51:44 It’s just that they didn’t show up in the polls to vote for her.
    0:51:47 She had an incredibly low turnout.
    0:51:48 Donald Trump also wasn’t all that much better.
    0:51:52 He also had an incredibly low turnout, but he just had more people than she did.
    0:51:57 And then you have Joe Biden later on who’s running against January 6th.
    0:52:00 He’s running, he’s running, not against January 6th, he’s running against the spirit that
    0:52:02 led to January 6th.
    0:52:05 He’s running against, you know, he had all sorts of villainous things that he could
    0:52:07 point out that he’s running against.
    0:52:09 It was a clearer narrative.
    0:52:14 And so it’s very important that we understand unless we’re inviting people into a very clear
    0:52:21 story in which they, they, they, they get to be the good character winning the day to
    0:52:25 experience a better life, people are going to tune you out.
    0:52:28 You will see examples of that everywhere now that I just said it.
    0:52:29 Yeah.
    0:52:35 So then the main principle of this step, Donald, is to make the person that you’re selling
    0:52:37 to the hero of the story.
    0:52:41 Can you just talk to us about that a little bit of like how you position somebody as a
    0:52:43 hero when you’re selling?
    0:52:44 Yeah.
    0:52:48 Well, you know, the reality is you probably talked to people, Hala, and I may have been
    0:52:51 one of them at some point because I’m not perfect, but you probably talked to people
    0:52:58 and you felt like the story was all about them and it really wasn’t about you.
    0:53:01 And we might call that person a narcissist or something like that.
    0:53:06 That’s because they see life through a prism and the prism is they are the hero trying to
    0:53:07 win.
    0:53:10 But the reason that that rubs us wrong, because it really shouldn’t rub us wrong, but the
    0:53:15 reason that it rubs us wrong is because them winning is not helping you win.
    0:53:19 In order to sit here and listen to this person who’s all about them winning means that you
    0:53:22 don’t get to win and it’s not a win-win scenario.
    0:53:24 It’s not a mutual thing.
    0:53:29 What we’re actually looking for is somebody who enters into our story and helps us win.
    0:53:31 So let me give you an example.
    0:53:35 Let’s say you’re at a cocktail party and you meet two people who do the exact same thing.
    0:53:37 The first person you meet, you say, “What do you do for a living?”
    0:53:39 And they say, “Well, I’m an at-home chef.
    0:53:40 I come to your house and cook.”
    0:53:43 You’d probably say something like, “Really, where did you go to school?
    0:53:44 Where did you learn to cook?
    0:53:46 Have you ever cooked for anybody famous?
    0:53:48 What are your favorite restaurants?”
    0:53:49 You’d make casual conversation.
    0:53:52 And at the end of the day, you’d think, “Well, that’s a really kind person.”
    0:53:57 Two hours later, you meet somebody and they do the exact same thing, charge the exact
    0:54:00 same amount of money, and have the exact same quality food.
    0:54:01 And you say, “What do you do?”
    0:54:04 And they say, “Well, you know how most families don’t eat together anymore because they don’t
    0:54:05 have time?
    0:54:08 And whenever they do eat together, they don’t eat healthy?
    0:54:09 I’m an at-home chef.
    0:54:13 I come to your house and cook so your family can sit around the table, look each other
    0:54:15 in the eye, actually connect.
    0:54:19 And at the end of the meal, you don’t have to clean anything up, and you don’t have to
    0:54:23 feel bad because what you ate was actually really good for you, and it also tasted good.”
    0:54:25 Who’s going to do more business, chef one or chef two?
    0:54:27 Chef two, of course.
    0:54:29 Chef one told their story.
    0:54:33 Chef two invited the customer into a story in which they could play the hero, buying
    0:54:37 their product in order to experience a climactic scene.
    0:54:39 That is always going to win.
    0:54:42 So one last question on sales, and then we’re going to close this out.
    0:54:46 So something that I read in your book that I thought was really interesting, and it reminded
    0:54:51 me of something that Jay Samet taught me a long time ago, or Jay Abraham actually is
    0:54:52 the one who taught me about it.
    0:54:53 He’s like a big marketing guru.
    0:54:59 And you actually turned down customers whose products and services they want to buy them
    0:55:03 from you, but you actually feel like it’s not a good fit for them.
    0:55:07 You’ll actually not sell something even though you can sell it.
    0:55:08 Why do you do that?
    0:55:10 I do that to protect my reputation.
    0:55:12 And also, that’s the selfish reason I do it.
    0:55:15 The other reason I do it is because they’re not going to get any value out of this.
    0:55:19 To bring me in for a day, we do these things called strategy sessions where I either come
    0:55:23 to you for a day or you come here to Nashville for a day.
    0:55:27 They’re really expensive, and they’re expensive because for me to take a day and not write
    0:55:30 a book, the opportunity cost on that is very high.
    0:55:36 So what we promise people is that, “Look, I will only do this if we really believe that
    0:55:41 easily, easily, easily, easily, you can make a 10x return on your investment.
    0:55:46 So if you’re going to pay me X amount of dollars to be here, we need to talk on the phone and
    0:55:48 make sure you can make a 10x return on your investment.”
    0:55:52 So that means do you have a list of emails that we can email?
    0:55:55 Is your website pretty messed up so that we can fix it in a day?
    0:55:57 Can we write some emails?
    0:55:59 Can we come up with the three economic objectives?
    0:56:01 We need to get a massive, massive return.
    0:56:06 Well, I’ve never had to write anybody a check, but I do guarantee you’re going to get this
    0:56:09 10x return or I’m going to give you your money back.
    0:56:10 So there’s two things that I do.
    0:56:14 One is if we have that call and I don’t think I can make you a pretty enormous amount of
    0:56:17 money, I just say, “Listen, I’m not your guy.
    0:56:19 I just don’t think we can do it.”
    0:56:21 Sometimes the reason I don’t think we can do it is because you’re already doing so incredibly
    0:56:22 well.
    0:56:23 It’s like, “I can’t improve on what you’re doing.
    0:56:24 You’re doing well.”
    0:56:28 Or you haven’t released the product yet or it sounds like you’ve got dysfunction
    0:56:31 on your team or whatever.
    0:56:34 But if I look at it and go, “Yeah, you’ve got a great email list.
    0:56:35 Your website is very unclear.
    0:56:37 We’re going to make a ton of money when we clean that up.
    0:56:38 We’re going to write five emails.
    0:56:40 They’re going to make you a truckload of cash.
    0:56:41 Let’s go.”
    0:56:43 Then we do it.
    0:56:45 So there’s people who I say, “I can’t do it for you.”
    0:56:47 And people who I say, “Look, I’m going to do it.
    0:56:49 You’ve got an honor system here.
    0:56:51 All you got to do is call me and say, “Don, we didn’t make our money and I’m writing
    0:56:52 you a check.”
    0:56:54 And I’m going to write you a check for whatever you paid me.
    0:56:57 And the main reason I’m writing is I never, ever want anybody to say, “I lost money on
    0:56:58 Don Miller.”
    0:56:59 I just don’t want them saying it.
    0:57:01 So I’ll give you your money back so you can never say that.
    0:57:06 I think that’s one of the ways I’ve built a little bit of trust in the business community
    0:57:09 because the bottom line is the bottom line.
    0:57:12 And we’ve got to make you money and I’m in the business of making you money.
    0:57:14 I think you do that to protect your reputation.
    0:57:17 And also, I just think there’s plenty of money out there and there’s plenty of people who
    0:57:18 have the problem you solve.
    0:57:24 So your job is to find the people who have the problem you solve and sell them something.
    0:57:27 And if you find somebody who does not have the problem you solve and they want to buy
    0:57:31 something from you, I think it’s our responsibility to sit down and say, “I don’t think this is
    0:57:36 going to work for you and I never, ever, ever want anybody to buy my product and not have
    0:57:37 it work.”
    0:57:38 Yeah.
    0:57:39 It’s all about integrity.
    0:57:42 And by the way, when you have clients that are unhappy…
    0:57:43 They talk.
    0:57:47 Yeah, they talk and it’s just, it’s a drain for everyone.
    0:57:51 But then on the other hand, if you have a perfect fit client where you solve all their problems,
    0:57:52 they’re so happy.
    0:57:53 They’re telling all their friends.
    0:57:54 They’re referring.
    0:57:57 It’s such a more positive experience also for everybody on the team.
    0:58:00 So I really think it’s a great point that you made.
    0:58:02 So Donald, thank you so much for coming on the show.
    0:58:03 It’s always wonderful.
    0:58:04 Yeah.
    0:58:05 It’s always such a good time.
    0:58:09 Where can everybody get how to grow your small business?
    0:58:10 Well get it wherever you buy books.
    0:58:12 If that’s on Amazon, grab it on Amazon.
    0:58:14 If that’s at Barnes & Noble, grab it at Barnes & Noble.
    0:58:15 Keep your receipt.
    0:58:21 They email you a receipt and if you just copy that number, that receipt number, and go to
    0:58:25 growyoursmallbusiness.com and enter your receipt number.
    0:58:28 We have a bunch of free bonuses that we’re giving away.
    0:58:34 One of them is a pass to the online sales script where we will actually, you can type
    0:58:39 in your sales follow-up email and I will color code it for you so that you can see where
    0:58:43 you’re talking about the problem, where you’re talking about the product as the solution
    0:58:47 to the problem, where you’re talking about the three-step plan, negative positive stakes
    0:58:48 and call to action.
    0:58:53 We’ll actually look at it in four color to see where you’re talking about all these parts
    0:58:56 to make sure it’s a perfect email that’s going to close the deal.
    0:58:58 That’s free when you buy the book.
    0:59:02 Just grab the book and then go to growyoursmallbusiness.com and give me your receipt.
    0:59:05 I think this is going to be one of those classic business books.
    0:59:07 I highly recommend that you go get it.
    0:59:09 I’m going to be digging in way deeper than I have.
    0:59:14 I’ve really only read it like high level, so I can’t wait to really go deep on this
    0:59:16 book because I know it’s going to be filled with so many gems.
    0:59:21 Donald, what is one actionable thing our young and profitors can do today to become more
    0:59:23 profiting tomorrow?
    0:59:24 Set three economic objectives.
    0:59:27 We talked about it at the beginning of the podcast.
    0:59:30 What are the three ways that you’re going to make money this year?
    0:59:31 Give me numbers.
    0:59:35 We’re going to sell 400 of this, we’re going to sell 80 of this, we’re going to sell 25
    0:59:36 of these.
    0:59:41 Whatever it is, give me three economic objectives and then reverse engineer your entire strategy
    0:59:42 to hit those.
    0:59:43 Awesome.
    0:59:46 What is your secret to profiting in life?
    0:59:49 profiting in life, five o’clock, actually more like four o’clock.
    0:59:54 I go home and I spend time with my daughter and my wife and I don’t think about work.
    1:00:00 My wife and I talk about work for probably an hour a week and that’s it.
    1:00:02 I have a life outside of work and I love it.
    1:00:05 I know you put family number one by far.
    1:00:08 It’s one of the things that I respect most about you, Donald.
    1:00:11 Where can everybody learn more about you and everything that you do?
    1:00:17 If you want to see pictures of my daughter who’s incredibly cute and my wife who’s incredibly
    1:00:22 beautiful and my dog who is a feisty pain in the rear end who keeps us humble, Donald
    1:00:24 Miller is my Instagram handle.
    1:00:25 I’d love to see you guys there.
    1:00:26 Awesome.
    1:00:27 Well, thank you so much, Donald.
    1:00:28 Always a pleasure.
    1:00:29 Thank you so much, Hala.
    1:00:30 Wonderful to talk to you.
    1:00:31 Thanks.
    1:00:32 Bye.
    1:00:33 Bye.
    1:00:33 Bye.
    1:00:40 Bye.
    1:00:42 Bye.
    1:00:51 [BLANK_AUDIO]

    Donald Miller once lost all of his life savings to a bad investment. But after he decided to start taking 100% ownership of his life and business, everything changed. In this episode, Donald is back on YAP to focus on how to grow a small business! Donald will explain why we should think of our business as an airplane and why most small businesses today are failing. He will also break down how we can get ahead of missteps as business owners.

    In this episode, Hala and Donald will discuss: 

    (01:00) Introduction

    (02:27) Donald Miller’s Journey from Failure to Success

    (04:48) Understanding the S-Curve in Business

    (10:27) The Airplane Analogy for Business Structure

    (20:14) The Importance of a Clear Mission Statement

    (30:48) The Reality of Business Ownership

    (32:15) Core Values: The Backbone of a Strong Team

    (33:31) Key Characteristics and Critical Actions

    (35:32) The Three Essential Leadership Personalities

    (38:04) Making the Customer the Hero

    (46:49) The Power of Story in Sales

    (51:51) Integrity in Business

    Donald Miller is the CEO of StoryBrand, an agency that has helped more than 10,000 organizations clarify their brand message, and Business Made Simple, an online platform that teaches business professionals everything they need to know to grow their business and enhance their value on the open market. Donald is the host of the Business Made Simple podcast and the author of the bestsellers Building a StoryBrand, Marketing Made Simple, and Hero on a Mission. His book, How to Grow Your Small Business, provides a proven 6-step plan for growth so you can stop drowning in the details. 

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  • Reid Hoffman: LinkedIn Co-Founder on Building and Scaling Massively Valuable Companies Fast | E332

    AI transcript
    0:00:06 Today’s episode is sponsored in part by Robinhood Airbnb Open Phone Rocket Money and Indeed.
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    0:01:03 Terms and conditions apply.
    0:01:09 As always, you can find all of our incredible deals in the show notes or at young and profiting.com/deals.
    0:01:11 You have to have speed.
    0:01:16 And this is one of the things that Silicon Valley has learned more intensely than anywhere
    0:01:17 in the world other than maybe China.
    0:01:24 You are a truly prolific entrepreneur, PayPal, LinkedIn, Airbnb, open AI.
    0:01:28 What were some of the learnings that you learned at PayPal that helped you become a great entrepreneur?
    0:01:30 People are familiar with pivots because it’s not working.
    0:01:35 But pivoting towards opportunity is one of the things that entrepreneurs really need
    0:01:36 to keep in mind.
    0:01:42 What scaling companies is prioritizing speed over efficiency in an environment of uncertainty.
    0:01:44 Speed over profitability.
    0:01:45 Yes.
    0:01:50 The only way to speed up learning it and deploying it and scaling it is the game.
    0:01:52 Sometimes entrepreneurs are told, “Oh, ignore risk.”
    0:01:53 No, no, no.
    0:01:54 Take smart risk.
    0:01:57 When you’re scaling really fast, hiring really fast, how can you maintain a healthy
    0:01:58 company culture?
    0:01:59 You have to intentionally…
    0:02:17 Yeah, bam.
    0:02:18 Welcome back to the show.
    0:02:23 Today, we have a true legend on the podcast, Reed Hoffman, who is the co-founder of LinkedIn
    0:02:25 and Inflection AI is joining us.
    0:02:28 He’s also a renowned venture capitalist.
    0:02:33 He’s been behind companies like Airbnb, PayPal, so many great, huge companies that have moved
    0:02:34 the world forward.
    0:02:37 He is also a partner at Greylock.
    0:02:40 He hosts a podcast, Masters of Scale, and he’s a prolific author.
    0:02:44 He’s got a brand new book out on AI called Super Agency, which we’re going to dig into
    0:02:46 in this conversation.
    0:02:50 Me and Reed talked for well over an hour and 20 minutes, which you guys know I love to
    0:02:52 do when somebody is just absolutely amazing.
    0:02:55 I want to keep them on for as long as possible.
    0:02:57 Reed was one of those guests.
    0:03:00 In part one of this conversation, we really focus on entrepreneurship.
    0:03:03 I talked to him about his early entrepreneurship endeavors.
    0:03:06 We learn about his failures and big learning lessons.
    0:03:10 Then we go into scaling, all of his strategy for scaling businesses.
    0:03:12 Guys, he’s scaled huge companies.
    0:03:17 Like I mentioned, LinkedIn, Airbnb, PayPal, he’s behind some of the biggest companies in
    0:03:18 the world.
    0:03:23 He’s got a lot of great content when it comes to scaling businesses, specifically his Blitz
    0:03:25 scaling methodology.
    0:03:28 Then in part two, we really focus on AI.
    0:03:30 He wrote a new book called Super Agency.
    0:03:35 It’s all about how humans are going to have agents moving forward, AI agents.
    0:03:41 I really pick his brain on his optimism towards AI and how he imagines the future to be with
    0:03:43 AI in the picture.
    0:03:45 Everything’s going to be changing.
    0:03:48 In part one, like I mentioned, we’re talking about entrepreneurship.
    0:03:54 Stay tuned for that and enjoy my conversation with the amazingly talented Reed Hoffman.
    0:03:57 Reed, welcome to Young and Profiting Podcast.
    0:03:58 It’s great to be here.
    0:03:59 I’ve been looking forward to this.
    0:04:00 Me too.
    0:04:04 First of all, I want to say I feel very honored to have you on the show.
    0:04:06 You were a truly prolific entrepreneur.
    0:04:11 You’ve literally helped push the world forward for decades.
    0:04:18 You’ve been a leader at companies like PayPal, LinkedIn, Airbnb, now Inflection AI.
    0:04:21 You also were a part of OpenAI.
    0:04:26 You’ve just been behind so many huge companies that have pushed the world forward, like I
    0:04:27 said.
    0:04:31 I wanted to ask you, when you think of all your contributions to the world and all the
    0:04:36 companies that you work with, because you don’t have to work right now, you choose to
    0:04:37 work.
    0:04:42 You must be thinking about, okay, what makes me want to work with a company?
    0:04:46 What is your mission and what is the red thread with everything that you’re doing in the world
    0:04:47 right now?
    0:04:52 I guess probably it’s like I’m, to put it philosophically, a humanist.
    0:04:56 Which is how do we make ourselves better individually and as a group?
    0:05:00 It’s empowering a bunch of different individuals’ lives, but also leaving the world much better
    0:05:02 than we found it.
    0:05:04 How do we do that?
    0:05:07 That’s the red line through everything I do, including companies.
    0:05:12 Because you want to do companies that, of course, have all the normal company things
    0:05:17 of providing great product services and jobs and all the rest, but you also want it to
    0:05:22 be the impact that you have on the world, leaves the world in a much better place.
    0:05:27 You transform industries, you transform societies and like all the companies you mentioned that
    0:05:32 I’ve been involved with from the earliest stages, whether it’s personally LinkedIn and
    0:05:40 PayPal or as an investor and board member, Airbnb, open AI, all of it has a theory of
    0:05:45 how does this improve human life, human work, quality of experience.
    0:05:50 How do we elevate ourselves, become more the people we aspire to be?
    0:05:56 And in a similar way, in a similar token, I’d say you’ve said in the past, society flourishes
    0:05:59 when people think entrepreneurially.
    0:06:04 So talk to us about why you believe that the more entrepreneurs that we have in the world,
    0:06:08 the more that mankind is better off.
    0:06:10 It’s part of how you create the future.
    0:06:14 Everything that we have in our lives, I mean this podcasting stuff, these computers, these
    0:06:22 phones all come about through entrepreneurial innovation and it’s part of how the new future
    0:06:28 is created and it’s part of how prosperity is created, it’s part of how life is improved.
    0:06:33 And basically, we wouldn’t get to, even when you say, well, wait, there’s also science
    0:06:37 which events, vaccines and other kinds of things, although a lot of vaccines are commercial
    0:06:41 these days and have an entrepreneurial bent like Moderna.
    0:06:47 And so it’s this invention of new things and it’s envisioning the way the world could
    0:06:48 possibly be.
    0:06:52 How could you create something that would be of service to, this is one of the things
    0:06:58 I think people always forget about, the process of Adam Smith and capitalism is this theory
    0:06:59 of moral sentiments.
    0:07:03 How are you being of service to other people and that entrepreneurial creation of business
    0:07:06 and products and services is a really key part of it.
    0:07:13 And when you look around our lives and all the things in it, it was earlier entrepreneurs
    0:07:16 that we were building upon their work.
    0:07:23 So speaking of building on entrepreneurs of the past, my career has totally skyrocketed
    0:07:24 from LinkedIn.
    0:07:29 I was able to become a full-time entrepreneur with my social agency and my podcast network.
    0:07:35 And so my question to you is, LinkedIn has blown up into this huge platform.
    0:07:42 It’s one of the biggest social media networks in the world, 135 million daily active users.
    0:07:45 Was your vision for LinkedIn what it is today?
    0:07:52 What was your initial vision and did you ever imagine it would scale to what it is today?
    0:07:57 So when you start a business, you should think about this as a kind of probabilities of outcomes.
    0:08:01 So I did think that LinkedIn could become what it is today.
    0:08:06 I actually even think things that were could be bigger and could be on path and you could
    0:08:09 be asking me this question in five years when I achieved a bunch of new things and I would
    0:08:11 also say, “Hey, yes.
    0:08:12 This is possible.”
    0:08:18 Now, are we in a low probability but high result future from when I started LinkedIn?
    0:08:19 Absolutely.
    0:08:24 You have to be rational as an entrepreneur and part of what sometimes entrepreneurs are
    0:08:29 told ignore risk, take smart risk, manage it smartly.
    0:08:33 And so when I started, it was like, well, we could be this big and there’s all of these
    0:08:38 outcomes between here and there, which include not succeeding at all, that you manage your
    0:08:44 way towards even as you have the moonshot, if you shoot for the stars, maybe sometimes
    0:08:48 you only get to the hills, but you have to be shooting for yours.
    0:08:51 You have that, but you’re wise about it.
    0:08:56 And so yes, there’s learnings and we can go to the depths of which things I made mistakes
    0:08:59 on or which things turned out to be new surprises with LinkedIn.
    0:09:03 But I would say that we’re within the probability set that I thought was possible.
    0:09:04 I love that.
    0:09:09 And I’m definitely going to be asking you about scaling a business and all of your guidance
    0:09:10 around that.
    0:09:15 But first, before we do that, I do want to talk about your early entrepreneurship days
    0:09:19 because a lot of the listeners tuning in, they’re young entrepreneurs, they’re failing
    0:09:25 every day, which is a big part of eventually becoming a great entrepreneur is failure at
    0:09:27 first that you can learn and get better.
    0:09:32 So you started a company called SocialNet, which actually was a failed startup.
    0:09:36 When I read about it, you could tell me what you think, if it was a failure or not, but
    0:09:42 it was a social app for dating way before we had the dating apps of today, like Bumble
    0:09:43 and things like that.
    0:09:46 So it was like a really innovative concept.
    0:09:51 Tell us about what happened with that company, why you ended pivoting to something else and
    0:09:54 some of the failures and learnings that you had from that.
    0:09:59 So a lot of the writings I’ve done are all the learnings from mistakes.
    0:10:02 There was almost never anything like I just got to write the first time.
    0:10:06 It was that you iterated at speed and you kept adapting and you kept learning.
    0:10:08 And that’s one of the rules of entrepreneurship is always be learning.
    0:10:12 So SocialNet, you know, I started with the kind of this theory of, oh, I’ve learned how
    0:10:13 to create software products.
    0:10:15 I know what a really good thing would be.
    0:10:18 I’ve got a great product idea, let me go raise some venture capital.
    0:10:20 Let me release the product.
    0:10:24 Well, a huge number of things, everything from, you know, if you’re not embarrassed
    0:10:28 by your product release, you’ve released too late relative to software and consumer
    0:10:34 internet because I thought I would polish it and get it just so right and beautiful
    0:10:35 before getting out.
    0:10:39 And when we released, we quickly discovered half the things we’d spent months on were
    0:10:41 completely useless.
    0:10:47 We thought that the game was entirely about, well, did we have a vision for product quality?
    0:10:50 And we didn’t spend that much time thinking about, like, our go-to-market strategy, which
    0:10:53 is fundamental to entrepreneurship.
    0:10:56 And so it was just failure after failure and recovery.
    0:11:03 But the two ways that I kind of kind of learned to summarize this was, one, is I perhaps never
    0:11:08 learned so much in my life except for between the ages of two and three because when you’re
    0:11:11 falling over and learning it and standing back up.
    0:11:15 And then the other one is every Friday, there were things I wish I had known on Monday.
    0:11:19 And those things I wish I known weren’t person X is going to return your phone call or this
    0:11:21 partnership pitch won’t work out.
    0:11:24 It’s literally how to play the game, what to do.
    0:11:30 And so it was a tremendous learning experience, which of course means lots of scars, tissue
    0:11:32 and a lot of blood on the floor.
    0:11:36 And I’d say that it was, you know, in Silicon Valley terms, a failure.
    0:11:42 We returned the investor’s capital, but that was all we were able to do fundamentally.
    0:11:46 And so I love that you started as an entrepreneur and you learned a lot with social net.
    0:11:47 And then you went to PayPal, right?
    0:11:54 And you learned as an executive there before you went and co-founded LinkedIn.
    0:11:55 So talk to us about that.
    0:12:00 What were some of the learnings that you learned at PayPal that helped you become a great entrepreneur?
    0:12:03 So part of what happened is two friends of mine, Peter Thiel, Max Lovechin came to me
    0:12:05 and said, “Hey, we’re starting this business.
    0:12:08 We’ve been doing this for a year and a half with social net.
    0:12:09 We’d really love you to join the board.
    0:12:11 We’ll have you and Scott Banister join the board.
    0:12:13 And could you do that?”
    0:12:18 And I said, “Yes, because I’ve just come through a year and a half of learning every
    0:12:19 week.”
    0:12:24 And so a bunch of this stuff, PayPal had a initial booster pack on, which is all the
    0:12:28 various lists, which is hire people who are high talented learners, more than people who’ve
    0:12:30 had a ton of experience.
    0:12:33 I mean, they must know how to do the job.
    0:12:36 But it’s supposed to look, “I’ve done this job for 10 years.
    0:12:40 I’ve done this job for at least a year or two, and I’m an intense learner.”
    0:12:45 So PayPal started as a encryption technology on mobile phones, went to cash on mobile phones,
    0:12:52 went to cash on Palm Pilots, then went to cash on Palm Pilots plus an online synchronizing
    0:12:56 payment service, and then quickly converted to an online master merchant.
    0:12:59 And the last pit was after it launched.
    0:13:05 And so all of that initial cryptology on mobile phones was completely thrown out the
    0:13:07 door and useless.
    0:13:11 Because again, it was kind of this, “Don’t just build something because it’s an interesting
    0:13:12 product.
    0:13:13 What’s the market need?
    0:13:14 How are you getting into it?”
    0:13:16 And so there were just tons and tons of experiences.
    0:13:22 I’d say one of the central things that I learned about entrepreneurship from PayPal was the
    0:13:26 speed of execution, the speed of making decisions.
    0:13:29 And so one of the things, I mean, there was a whole stack, again, we could take this entire
    0:13:30 podcast.
    0:13:34 Things I learned from SocialNet, things I learned from PayPal, things I learned, just
    0:13:35 each one of them.
    0:13:41 But part of the thing was basically, I kind of adopted there, which I wish I’d had at
    0:13:46 SocialNet, this decisioning mode where when I’m confronted with a decision, I say, “Can
    0:13:48 I make this decision right now?”
    0:13:52 And if I can make the decision right now, I go, “And by the way, the usual answer is,
    0:13:53 what decision would I make?”
    0:13:56 I was like, “Okay, I would decide X, not Y.
    0:13:57 Okay.
    0:14:02 Is there anything that I could learn by researching, talking to people, et cetera that would change
    0:14:03 from X to Y?
    0:14:06 Okay, what’s the cost and time to do that?”
    0:14:10 And if the cost and time is too great, you just make the decision, go with X, and you
    0:14:11 live with it.
    0:14:16 And maybe sometimes part of X and Y is, is it a one-way door or a two-way door?
    0:14:20 Because if you can recover from it, you’re less likely to go do the research about should
    0:14:22 you decide Y versus X.
    0:14:30 Part of this practice, it gets you comfortable with making decisions at a really intense
    0:14:34 speed where you’re uncomfortable with it because you don’t know everything when you’re making
    0:14:35 the decision.
    0:14:42 And that was one of our many ethoses at PayPal that allowed us to navigate this just like
    0:14:45 lots of things almost blew us up.
    0:14:50 And it was definitely a X-wing fighter going into the Death Star.
    0:14:51 Oh my gosh.
    0:14:53 Are we going to live or die on this thing?
    0:14:54 We succeeded.
    0:14:55 Yeah.
    0:15:00 And I’m sure you’ve gotten really comfortable with uncertainty and taking these risks without
    0:15:03 really knowing if it was the right or wrong decision.
    0:15:08 And like you said, prioritizing speed over anything else, which is so important.
    0:15:13 And I know you say that in your book, Blitzscaling, which you put out in 2018.
    0:15:17 And even though it was put out seven-ish years ago, it’s still super relevant.
    0:15:19 So I did want to cover it.
    0:15:25 So you talk about Blitzscaling, and basically it’s a concept that is about achieving market
    0:15:26 dominance quickly.
    0:15:30 So can you go over some of the key principles of Blitzscaling?
    0:15:31 And I’ll ask you some.
    0:15:36 I’ve got like lots of questions about it, but I’ll let you summarize it first.
    0:15:42 The pithy way of saying what Blitzscaling is about is it’s prioritizing speed over efficiency
    0:15:45 in an environment of uncertainty.
    0:15:50 And to unpack that a little bit, it’s that when you’re playing games where we call in
    0:15:54 the book, Glenn Gehrig, Glenn Ross games, which is first prize is a Cadillac, second
    0:15:57 prize is Stichnize, and third prize you’re fired.
    0:16:00 You have to have speed and speed to scale.
    0:16:05 And this is one of the things that Silicon Valley has learned more intensely than anywhere
    0:16:07 in the world other than maybe China.
    0:16:12 China is one of the few areas where I’ve also learned Blitzscaling games.
    0:16:16 And it’s one of the reasons why when you look at Silicon Valley for the tech industry, the
    0:16:22 whole population of Silicon Valley barriers like three and a half million that’s like Ireland.
    0:16:28 And yet the number of global tech companies that come out of Silicon Valley versus anywhere
    0:16:32 else in the world, and to some degree, including China, because we’re talking global here,
    0:16:37 although, you know, there’s obviously ByteDance and TikTok and so forth, is just enormous.
    0:16:38 And why is that?
    0:16:43 ByteDance, the answer is because this hyper competitive game of Blitzscaling is something
    0:16:44 that we have learned to do.
    0:16:50 And you don’t do Blitzscaling as a goal into itself, you do it as a competitive tool relative
    0:16:56 to being first prize versus second or third, because your particular industry, your particular
    0:17:01 company, your particular potential industry transformation is worth it.
    0:17:06 So you were just talking about how you have to basically prioritize speed.
    0:17:12 So when we’re Blitzscaling and we’re prioritizing speed, lots of things can go wrong, right?
    0:17:17 Because you’re prioritizing just hiring really fast, making fast decisions.
    0:17:18 Things are not perfect.
    0:17:23 So talk to us about some of the operational risk that is involved with Blitzscaling and
    0:17:26 some of the fast decisions that people have to make.
    0:17:32 Typically, obviously, people in business schools teach reduce uncertainty and prioritize learning
    0:17:34 for efficiency.
    0:17:40 But if what you’re doing is saying, well, we really need to get to scale very fast relative
    0:17:46 to either a market because of a scale mechanic or because of competition, you’ll say, “Which
    0:17:51 risk can we take to get to that scale product market fit much faster than our competition?”
    0:17:57 And so, for example, classically what happens in a lot of these Blitzscaling companies is
    0:18:01 people who are traditionalist business people will say, “What’s your operating margin?”
    0:18:03 And you need to prove your operating margin.
    0:18:09 I myself sat in early Airbnb meetings where one of the VCs was saying that.
    0:18:15 And I had to speak up and say, “Nope, bad question, not a question to answer right now,
    0:18:20 because we’re in a software business, we don’t have these capital hard assets, even though
    0:18:25 they’re being rented and transacted in it, that’s not on our balance sheet.
    0:18:29 What we just need to do is get this to scale and be the growing marketplace of that and
    0:18:32 we’ll figure out operating margins later.”
    0:18:35 But that’s, of course, what the size of your operating margins are, is how valuable your
    0:18:36 business is.
    0:18:39 And when you get to the operating margins, it will be when people start valuing your
    0:18:40 business more.
    0:18:45 And you’re like, “So that’s a very counterintuitive thing you say, we’ll take the risk on wherever
    0:18:51 our operating margins will end up because getting the scale more quickly and fast and
    0:18:55 taking experiments with like, for example, what you’re doing in marketing, what you’re
    0:19:01 doing in hiring, what you’re doing in product development, we’ll just try it and we’ll iterate
    0:19:05 and move quickly and we’ll abandon the things that aren’t working.”
    0:19:09 And that’s essentially, and that’s part of the reason why Airbnb is one of the, as you
    0:19:15 know, is one of the examples that we open Blitzscaling the book up with to kind of show
    0:19:18 a modern example of these are a set of decisions that you make.
    0:19:23 And then I forget which chapter, but there’s like eight counterintuitive rules in Blitzscaling
    0:19:29 in the middle, which is like embracing chaos and hiring Ms. Right Now versus Ms. Right
    0:19:33 in three to five years, because again, with the learning curve, those are all things you’re
    0:19:39 doing to go, “Go fast now, go fast now, go fast now,” and iterate and change.
    0:19:45 And that’s part of why Silicon Valley produces just transformational technology companies
    0:19:46 for the world.
    0:19:50 So it’s really what you’re saying, it’s about speed over profitability.
    0:19:53 Yes, or any form of efficiency.
    0:19:58 One of the things that I learned remotely from Uber, because they were another Blitzscaling
    0:20:03 company we covered elements of in the book, is one of the things when Uber is like, “Oh
    0:20:05 my God, we need to hire engineers really fast.”
    0:20:08 So what they would do is they’d re-interview an engineer, a reference check on an engineer,
    0:20:11 and they’d offer engineers Sarah a job.
    0:20:14 And then when they offered engineers Sarah a job, they say, “Okay, well, we’d like to
    0:20:15 interview with you.
    0:20:17 Who are the top three people you work with at your current company?”
    0:20:20 And then just send those three people job offers.
    0:20:24 It’s Blitzscaling, because it’s like, “Well, maybe they’re not going to really work out.
    0:20:28 Maybe they’ll think it’s a little weird and creepy that they got a job offer out of the
    0:20:34 blue with a pitch, but it’s part of the going fast.”
    0:20:39 And so it’s not just profitability, it’s efficiency and everything.
    0:20:42 Let’s hold that thought and take a quick break with our sponsors.
    0:20:47 Yeah, Pam, when I first started this podcast, believe it or not, I had an all-volunteer team
    0:20:48 to help me out.
    0:20:53 But as my business took off, I needed to hire a lot of new people and fast.
    0:20:58 It soon became pretty overwhelming because I had to sort through piles and piles of resumes,
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    0:25:31 When you’re hiring that fast, like you just gave that example of Uber, I have to imagine
    0:25:37 that your company culture might suffer and it might become a little bit chaotic.
    0:25:40 What’s your guidance for when you’re scaling really fast, hiring really fast, how can you
    0:25:43 maintain a healthy company culture?
    0:25:44 You have to intentionally try to do it.
    0:25:51 By the way, Uber is an example of something that had a very chaotic and challenging company
    0:25:58 culture and had to refactor it to be a good stable public company you’re getting.
    0:26:02 The usual heuristic rule of thumb is that refactoring culture is actually in fact really
    0:26:03 hard.
    0:26:04 It is hard.
    0:26:06 It’s not necessarily impossibly hard.
    0:26:08 Dar really demonstrated with Uber.
    0:26:12 Actually, we had a Master’s Scale episode on that because it was the question of, “Okay,
    0:26:16 so you inherit something that’s got a lot of really broken parts.
    0:26:17 What do you do?”
    0:26:21 The punchline was, “You don’t show up and say, ‘New Sheriff in town,’ you say, ‘Hey,
    0:26:22 we did these great things.
    0:26:23 We already have what’s greatness in this.
    0:26:27 Let’s focus on the parts that are great and use those to refactor the other parts.’”
    0:26:32 So as opposed to saying, “Now, friends, something entirely new, we’re returning to the central
    0:26:35 roots of our greatness and then refactoring the other ones.”
    0:26:37 That’s actually, I think, a good change.
    0:26:43 Now, that being said, we’ve had a lot of culture episodes and part of that’s because you should
    0:26:46 be intentional about it.
    0:26:49 The intentionality can be not hiring as fast as Uber did.
    0:26:51 So we’re like Workday and Anil Busri.
    0:26:57 It was Ian as co-founder Dave Duffield did a cultural interview at the end, even though
    0:27:04 he is being the CEO, did a cultural interview at the end of every hiring process for the
    0:27:05 first 500 people.
    0:27:08 That slows you down some, but that’s one way to do it.
    0:27:14 Another way is the culture deck for Reed Hastings, which actually just started as when they were
    0:27:17 looking at the attrition of, like, why are people leaving?
    0:27:20 It was like, “Well, they didn’t understand our culture when they got here.
    0:27:24 So let’s first create a culture deck to onboard them and then, oh, shit, we should publish
    0:27:25 it.”
    0:27:26 Right?
    0:27:29 So if you’re looking for a family, go to other companies.
    0:27:35 If you’re looking for a team, like a professional sports team, come here because our culture
    0:27:40 is we ask ourselves a question every quarter, every year.
    0:27:44 If you wouldn’t hire this person right now, give them a severance package, go hire somebody
    0:27:45 else.
    0:27:48 And so you create these cultural moments and these are all the different tool sets that
    0:27:54 you create for your particular business, your particular founders, management team, product
    0:27:59 market fit, competition landscape, et cetera, because it’s not one culture, one size fits
    0:28:01 all, but being intentional is very important.
    0:28:03 Everything has a consequence, right?
    0:28:05 There’s pros and cons to everything.
    0:28:07 You can implement all these systems.
    0:28:09 Like, I’m thinking about my own company right now.
    0:28:10 I used to hire so quick.
    0:28:15 I would just go on LinkedIn, find somebody, poach somebody, DM them, do an interview, hire
    0:28:16 them.
    0:28:18 Now, it’s a months-long process.
    0:28:22 And I can feel that sometimes it’s really hurting us and I’m like, “I just want to go
    0:28:24 poach somebody off LinkedIn,” you know?
    0:28:27 It’s just like really just pros and cons and you’ve got to figure out what is the right
    0:28:31 thing for your business and make the right decision.
    0:28:36 So why is first mover advantage so important?
    0:28:40 The whole point of Blitz Scaling is so that you can basically build a moat around you
    0:28:43 as a company, but why is that so important?
    0:28:47 Well, first mover to scale gives you all kinds of energy.
    0:28:51 It doesn’t actually necessarily need to be first mover out of the gate, but the first
    0:28:54 mover to scale, part of Blitz Scaling, is really critical.
    0:28:57 Now, sometimes, by the way, the way that you become first mover to scale is you’re the
    0:29:00 first mover out of the gate because you just keep going, right?
    0:29:06 But that kind of getting the scale can have all kinds of advantages.
    0:29:12 One is capital markets reward you versus whoever’s in second place as part of the Cadillac
    0:29:15 and Steak Knives.
    0:29:22 Please more want to work there that when customers or members, if it’s consumer internet thing,
    0:29:25 think, “Well, what’s the one that everyone’s talking about?
    0:29:27 It’s the one that’s the first to scale.”
    0:29:30 And so in all of these fields, you have advantages.
    0:29:35 Now, you might also have a business with network effects, where those network effects become
    0:29:41 a really important growing super linear kind of competitive moat, whether it’s like Airbnb
    0:29:49 or Uber or others, LinkedIn, or if it’s just a, “Well, I’m ahead.”
    0:29:55 And so by default, all of the different forces that come together to make a company successful
    0:29:59 are more aligned and believing you’re number one because part of what entrepreneurship does
    0:30:01 is I have this vision.
    0:30:02 It’s currently not operative.
    0:30:08 I’m persuading multiple different constituencies to come invest in my vision.
    0:30:10 It could be investors with money.
    0:30:13 It can be employees with their time and ownership.
    0:30:16 It could be press with their belief in what’s going to happen.
    0:30:20 It can be customers who go, “Okay, you’re a startup, but I’m going to start using you
    0:30:25 now anyway because I believe you will be the right thing in the future.”
    0:30:30 All of these things is what you do as an entrepreneur is you persuade people to come and help build
    0:30:31 your vision.
    0:30:35 When you’re the first mover to scale, you have a lot more of those people believing in
    0:30:37 you and therefore investing in you.
    0:30:38 The cost of customer acquisition is lower.
    0:30:41 Your cost of speed of recruiting employees is lower.
    0:30:45 Your cost of capital is lower, et cetera, et cetera.
    0:30:50 The weight of your brand is giving you all of this advantage, like the brand recognition.
    0:30:55 Brand can definitely be a strong part of it, but it’s also the question of who do each
    0:30:57 of these groups think is going to win.
    0:30:58 So it’s a little bit different.
    0:31:03 I mean, brand is also what is your brand promise, what are you going to become.
    0:31:07 And awareness is part of it, but it’s like, “Okay, we think you’re going to win.
    0:31:12 Now when you have dynamics like a network effect, then your brand might be mediocre,
    0:31:19 but a network effect is incredibly good within a business or within any kind of entity that
    0:31:20 has it.
    0:31:22 It’s a very strong amplifier.”
    0:31:23 So talk to us about that.
    0:31:25 I know Airbnb had a network effect.
    0:31:27 What’s a good example of one?
    0:31:30 Networks are usually, but not always.
    0:31:35 So LinkedIn has one, Facebook has one, WhatsApp and Instagram.
    0:31:39 For example, when you look at Google, the network effect isn’t the search index.
    0:31:41 That’s a scale index.
    0:31:46 What it is is the AdWords, because the AdWords begin to get when you’re kind of that large
    0:31:52 and differentiated and have the data and intelligence enough, you end up with a better cost.
    0:31:57 You can provide an ad at what is a lower cost to you and a higher price to your customer
    0:32:03 and have a higher margin revenue than your competitor that’s trying to sell something.
    0:32:05 And so its network effect is in the AdWords.
    0:32:10 So part of when you’re looking for these mega scale businesses, usually there’s some interesting
    0:32:12 network effects that really power them.
    0:32:16 I know that there’s different stages involved with Blitz Scaling.
    0:32:21 So there’s family stage, tribe stage, village stage, city stage, nation stage.
    0:32:25 So I was thinking about my company, and I think we’re right in between tribe stage and
    0:32:27 village stage.
    0:32:30 I think there’s probably a lot of growing pains in that stage, right?
    0:32:34 Like we’re doing amazing, but I feel like it’s just like scaling is really hard.
    0:32:39 And I feel like that is the first instance of really scaling.
    0:32:43 So talk to us about each one of these stages, what do we need to think about?
    0:32:49 And you can be high level or as deep as you’d like, but if you can just break down how companies
    0:32:52 generally scale and the stages that they have.
    0:32:57 So the basic idea was to say, when you’re hyper scaling to a market, obviously everyone
    0:33:02 wants to have as much revenue and as much customers per employee as one of the ways
    0:33:08 to benchmark businesses, but almost all businesses also get to growing their employee base for
    0:33:09 various reasons.
    0:33:14 It’s sales and new products and features, new product lines and customer service and
    0:33:17 account management and finance and everything else.
    0:33:23 So you generally speaking need to be scaling your employee base at some rate with your
    0:33:24 business.
    0:33:27 And so the thought was as you’re getting to scale product market fit, one of the challenges
    0:33:32 you have is you’re scaling the size of your operation in all of these different vectors.
    0:33:36 And so that proxies to number of employees.
    0:33:40 And so we broke it up into the five categories that you just outlined.
    0:33:41 Thank you.
    0:33:46 And we said, look, when you’re getting to each of these things, what got you here won’t get
    0:33:47 you there.
    0:33:51 When you’re at the earliest stage, it’s like, you know, a couple of people, maybe you met
    0:33:56 one of them, you hired them, you’re all in a room, communication isn’t really an issue.
    0:34:00 The culture is usually like, well, we went out for beats in a beer and we talked about
    0:34:01 it.
    0:34:02 And that’s our company culture.
    0:34:04 Like we figured out what we’re doing.
    0:34:08 And as you get larger, all of these things change in the very earliest.
    0:34:09 Everyone’s working.
    0:34:12 And then you get to, there’s people who are working and being managers.
    0:34:16 Then you get there’s people just being managers, then you get people who are managing managers.
    0:34:21 And each of these things change at levels of scale as you go up of how you run communications,
    0:34:26 how you make decisions, how you pivot or readjust something.
    0:34:29 All of this changes, which risks are you willing to take?
    0:34:33 Like for example, Facebook went and people thought this was different, but it was like
    0:34:37 move fast and break things to move fast with scalable infrastructure.
    0:34:43 And I was like, oh, you got wise and you changed your theory of moving fast like narrow.
    0:34:46 What we realized was in a very early stage, move fast and break things was the way to
    0:34:48 optimize speed.
    0:34:51 And then in our later days, the way to optimize speed was move fast with stable infrastructure
    0:34:54 because we broke the infrastructure.
    0:34:55 It was too hard to fix.
    0:34:57 And we suddenly were moving slower.
    0:35:02 So it’s still both speed principles, but those changes, because for example, move fast and
    0:35:05 break things weren’t totally fine when you’re 40 people.
    0:35:11 When you’re 500 people and the infrastructure breaking and everything breaks, let’s keep
    0:35:12 the infrastructure running.
    0:35:16 However, many other things we may be breaking as we’re moving fast.
    0:35:21 So all of those things go into the different levels and nation is kind of the placeholder
    0:35:26 for public company, you know, thousands of employees, et cetera.
    0:35:30 And just saying, hey, the rules here change too.
    0:35:35 And your mistake is trying to run the same way as you might be even in a village with
    0:35:36 you’re in a nation.
    0:35:40 Even though you’re of course trying to keep speed, you definitely keep a vibrant culture
    0:35:46 and high performance and high quality talent, the nature of the game changes as you change
    0:35:47 size.
    0:35:48 So interesting.
    0:35:51 I highly recommend that everybody read Blitzscaling.
    0:35:52 I loved reading through it.
    0:35:56 I want to read it in even more detail because I feel like it’s just so relevant, especially
    0:35:59 as like a newer entrepreneur scaling your business.
    0:36:04 If you’ve never done it before, build a company that’s a nation-size company, it’s definitely
    0:36:05 a good read.
    0:36:10 So when you’re thinking about making intelligent risk, this is something that we were talking
    0:36:11 about earlier.
    0:36:16 Do you have anything that you think through, questions that you ask yourself to make sure
    0:36:20 that you’re not just taking any risk and that you’re taking a risk intelligently?
    0:36:27 Well, there’s a couple of quick hacks on every major decision, maybe not surprising from
    0:36:32 the co-founder of LinkedIn, is I think, who are the three to five people I’d most want
    0:36:33 to talk to about this?
    0:36:39 Because it’s kind of like, where would they give me knowledge, expertise, different cognitive
    0:36:43 tool set, different analytic framework, et cetera.
    0:36:48 And with that, what I predict, that would be very helpful in this particular decision.
    0:36:52 And frequently, those people, while you have a lot of great people in your company, there’s
    0:36:56 a lot of them wearing any particular decision outside your company.
    0:36:59 And that’s part of the thing of like, okay, what would it take to go get that when I get
    0:37:04 the right, what kind of inspiration I get, would I be unknown and I would try, et cetera.
    0:37:05 That’s one.
    0:37:12 Because analyzing the risks is knowing which only few things to focus on and which other
    0:37:17 things to really just ignore, because one of the, as you know, plan scaling rules are
    0:37:23 like embrace chaos and let fires burn because you’re like, we’ll solve that later.
    0:37:24 We don’t have to solve everything right now.
    0:37:26 We can only focus on a few things.
    0:37:32 Another one is to think about, all right, even if it’s painful to solve something later,
    0:37:37 like for example, we were talking about the Uber hiring thing, can we solve that one later?
    0:37:41 Because which the ordering of problems that we need to solve.
    0:37:45 And some of the risk is we’re not going to solve that problem right now.
    0:37:48 We’re not going to be able to measure it right now.
    0:37:51 The only way to really measure this is to do it.
    0:37:57 One of the things that modern consumer internet mobile entrepreneurs have learned is this
    0:38:02 thing that’s paradoxically called paper testing, which is you put up an ad and you say, here’s
    0:38:03 our thing.
    0:38:06 And you see what the click through is, even though you don’t have anything behind the
    0:38:09 ad because you’re measuring it and trying to get data because you’re trying to figure
    0:38:14 out what the thing is, this is the toolbox of the cost of de-risking.
    0:38:20 Which low cost things can you do talking to someone taking paper ad doing other things?
    0:38:21 Can I do to de-risk this?
    0:38:24 And then at the end of the day, you make the risk bet.
    0:38:29 Now some of the red teaming thought is, well, if I’m wrong on this decision, what are my
    0:38:30 plans be?
    0:38:32 How do I recover?
    0:38:35 If I go, ooh, this one, we’re just dead.
    0:38:36 Not, oh, it’s painful.
    0:38:40 We’re dead, if it doesn’t work, oh, okay, well, let’s invest a little bit more on the
    0:38:41 risk decision if we can.
    0:38:45 But by the way, part of what startups do is you’re making the bet.
    0:38:48 If you’re not making the bet, you’re ultimately going to fail.
    0:38:56 We’ll be right back after a quick break from our sponsors.
    0:39:00 I want to talk about AI, but before we do that, I’ve got a little quick fire section.
    0:39:05 I’ve pulled out some of my favorite quotes that you’ve said about entrepreneurship, and
    0:39:08 then I just want to get some more color on each one of these quotes.
    0:39:09 Okay.
    0:39:13 If you aren’t embarrassed by the first version of your product, you shipped too late.
    0:39:18 Well, that’s what I talked about a little bit already with socialite, which is, look,
    0:39:22 there’s the number of people who are product geniuses that go, oh, when I pull back the
    0:39:26 curtains, everyone’s going to go, ooh, la, la, you are perfect.
    0:39:32 That’s less than 1% of entrepreneurs and product people, and yet everyone thinks they are.
    0:39:36 Obviously, you should be a good product person, otherwise you shouldn’t be doing the product
    0:39:37 side.
    0:39:39 Entrepreneurship is doing something else.
    0:39:41 But the right thing is how do you learn from your customers?
    0:39:42 How do you go?
    0:39:43 Which things?
    0:39:48 And that’s part of the reason why minimum viable product, product market fit, all of
    0:39:53 these things, kind of testing your hypotheses, using other data as a way of doing it.
    0:40:01 Because if it’s speed to market and speed to learning, and part of the reason why embarrassment
    0:40:05 is because our natural instinct as people, as entrepreneurs, is we want you to tell
    0:40:09 us, oh my God, we love what you did.
    0:40:12 And actually, in fact, you want them to grow to love what you did.
    0:40:14 And obviously, the more they love it at the beginning, that’s great.
    0:40:19 But your speed of learning it and deploying it and scaling it is the game.
    0:40:23 I’m smiling because I’m just thinking about me being an entrepreneur and something that
    0:40:28 my business partner always says is my favorite thing is to just announce something.
    0:40:33 Even before it’s ready, before I have any idea how to do it, I love to just announce
    0:40:37 we’re doing this, and I’m like, well, we got to figure it out.
    0:40:38 Exactly.
    0:40:43 OK, so don’t wait for something to fail before you learn or before you consider a change
    0:40:44 or pivot.
    0:40:50 The best pivots are to take advantage of an upside rather than to avoid a downside.
    0:40:54 So obviously, people are familiar with pivots because it’s not working.
    0:41:00 And there’s different ways to get to the conclusion before it totally is a train wreck.
    0:41:06 You want to make the decision that’s not working before the train wreck happens, change tracks.
    0:41:12 But one of the things that people under-describe is a pivot to a new opportunity.
    0:41:16 And in some sense, this is the PayPal story that we were talking about a little earlier
    0:41:20 because they said, well, we have this really great unique technology, and we’re figuring
    0:41:24 out that it’s not really going to work, and we’re pivoting away from it because too hard
    0:41:25 to get to market.
    0:41:31 And then what happened is you released this kind of PalmPilot plus a synchronizing payment
    0:41:32 service.
    0:41:36 And what happened is eBay people started using it.
    0:41:41 And I remember the first week in the conversation of PayPal was, who are these eBay people?
    0:41:43 Should we stop them from using our product?
    0:41:45 And it was like, no, no, no.
    0:41:46 Those are our customers.
    0:41:48 None of these people are our customers.
    0:41:49 Those are our customers.
    0:41:51 We’re going to pivot entirely towards them.
    0:41:54 And so pivoting towards opportunities, seeing what happens, and sometimes, by the way, it’s
    0:41:58 like, oh, you’ve been working on the software product, and now AI is here, and you’re like,
    0:42:00 OK, I’m going to do AI.
    0:42:05 Yeah, I know I did this last 18 months of work, maybe three months if it’s recoverable,
    0:42:07 because that’s the opportunity.
    0:42:13 And that pivoting towards big new opportunities is one of the things that really creates these
    0:42:19 successful businesses because we want to tell this heroic story where she or he had this
    0:42:24 original vision that came down from on high, and they came down with the two stone tablets.
    0:42:27 And they said, I’ve got this vision that goes on forever.
    0:42:28 And that’s reason I’m a genius.
    0:42:32 And it’s like, well, actually, in fact, a lot of things happen based on, well, I was
    0:42:38 in the game, I was learning, and I saw this new opportunity that emerged from the market,
    0:42:42 a technology, a set of things with competitors, and I moved towards that.
    0:42:48 Like, for example, Google, it’s theory of, when it launched, it was we’re going to sell
    0:42:49 enterprise search.
    0:42:51 That’s our theory of the game.
    0:42:53 Then they saw, and then, oh, it’s not working.
    0:42:57 Oh, our backup plan is to put double-click ads on top of it.
    0:42:59 Oh, shit, the whole ad market went.
    0:43:00 What do we do?
    0:43:02 Oh, now we end up at AdWords.
    0:43:08 And they pivoted from enterprise to consumer, and then consumer to using elements that they’d
    0:43:13 seen from the market, but inventing their own version of how to make a really powerful
    0:43:14 business.
    0:43:17 And it’s one of the most powerful business models that’s been invented in human history
    0:43:18 so far.
    0:43:22 And so that pivoting towards opportunity is one of the things that entrepreneurs really
    0:43:24 need to keep in mind.
    0:43:25 It’s not always that you’re failing.
    0:43:30 Your company could be doing good, but you just want to go towards even a bigger opportunity.
    0:43:31 Yes, exactly.
    0:43:36 No matter how brilliant your mind or strategy, if you’re playing a solo game, you’ll always
    0:43:38 lose out to a team.
    0:43:44 Again, we tend to tell these heroic myths of the individual entrepreneur or she or he
    0:43:50 is like, “I am the person, the creator, the innovator,” et cetera.
    0:43:55 And actually, in fact, all of these projects are the result of teamwork.
    0:43:57 There’s almost nothing as an individual.
    0:44:01 And part of the thing is you want to be, to some degree, the best entrepreneurs, the
    0:44:07 people who recruit and bring around them, the most amazing teams who work with them
    0:44:08 for a long time.
    0:44:13 And actually, obviously, part of the thing is the truism tends to be higher, slow, fire
    0:44:14 fast.
    0:44:16 The higher slow, you can see whether that works.
    0:44:20 If you’re really going to hire slow, you better be hiring all the time so that your
    0:44:23 pace of hiring is in match not like, “Oh, I need a person now.
    0:44:24 I’m going to start looking.”
    0:44:28 I start recruiting for people I think I’m going to need six to 12 months from now today
    0:44:29 as an instance.
    0:44:34 And so, that team sport is really important, but it’s not just the employees.
    0:44:35 It’s also the people around you.
    0:44:40 So the advice to give entrepreneurs is not to go up to people and say, “Hala, what do
    0:44:41 you love about my idea?
    0:44:42 What do you think about my idea?”
    0:44:47 Because I’m asking you to tell me, “What’s wrong with my idea?
    0:44:49 What thing could make it break to learn from it?”
    0:44:56 And so, having those teams built around you outside your company, advisors, investors,
    0:44:59 experts, industry people, et cetera, is really, really important.
    0:45:05 And that’s why entrepreneur is a team sport, is a network sport, not simply an individual
    0:45:06 sport.
    0:45:07 Okay.
    0:45:08 Last one.
    0:45:12 Just as the Industrial Revolution created new opportunities for collaboration and new
    0:45:18 capacities for innovation, creativity, and productivity, the cognitive revolution will
    0:45:19 do it as well.
    0:45:22 This is, I guess, bridging into our AI discussion.
    0:45:27 The thing that happens that we’ve learned with entrepreneurship is new technologies completely
    0:45:32 change industries, sometimes every industry, like AI with general purpose technologies
    0:45:36 and the parallel between chat, GBT models and general purpose technologies, always something
    0:45:42 I’m finding a little entertaining, but you look at these technology changes as changes
    0:45:43 in market landscapes.
    0:45:49 It’s changes in how, what the real shape of products and services are going to be.
    0:45:51 It changes in how companies operate.
    0:45:55 It changes in what business models are available and all of these things.
    0:46:00 You really look, even if you’re not yourself, purely the technology company, you look for
    0:46:05 changes in the technological landscape because fundamentally, if you don’t have a technology
    0:46:10 strategy, it’s not an IT strategy, it’s not am I using PCs or Macs or iOS things.
    0:46:15 It’s a technology strategy and that you’re going to need to evolve with.
    0:46:21 And so AI, which is the cognitive industrial revolution and my belief is going to transform
    0:46:25 probably every industry and if not every, almost every.
    0:46:27 It’s between almost every and every.
    0:46:31 So everybody needs to be looking at it to say, “Okay, what does this mean for my product
    0:46:36 service, my competitive landscape, the way that we operate as a company, how we do sales
    0:46:40 and marketing, how we do account management, how we do customer service, what other ways
    0:46:45 of which we operate, whether it’s supply chain, finance, risk mitigation, et cetera.
    0:46:50 What are all the ways that this can come in and give me a competitive differentiation
    0:46:52 for how the new world is going to look?
    0:47:02 [MUSIC]
    0:47:12 [BLANK_AUDIO]

    Despite having a strong product idea, Reid Hoffman’s first startup collapsed, forcing him to return investors’ capital. This tough experience reshaped his approach to entrepreneurship. By embracing failure, iterating quickly, and adapting relentlessly, he went on to become a leader at PayPal and later, the co-founder of LinkedIn. In this episode, Reid shares the concept of blitzscaling, which prioritizes speed over perfection, smart strategies for taking risks, and insights on achieving rapid market dominance.

    In this episode, Hala and Reid will discuss: 

    (00:00) Introduction

    (01:32) Building Impact-Driven Businesses

    (02:56) Why We Need More Entrepreneurs

    (04:31) The Vision Behind LinkedIn’s Success

    (06:43) Lessons from a Failed Startup

    (09:26) Making Quick, Intense Decisions at PayPal

    (12:39) Blitzscaling: Prioritizing Speed Over Efficiency

    (18:10) Maintaining Company Culture While Scaling

    (21:20) The Power of Early Market Dominance

    (25:01) The Five Stages of Company Growth

    (28:54) Strategies for Taking Intelligent Risks

    (31:44) Why Product Perfection Delays Success

    (33:25) Pivoting Early to Seize New Opportunities

    (36:18) Entrepreneurship as a Team Sport

    Reid Hoffman is an entrepreneur, investor, partner at Greylock, and co-founder of LinkedIn and Inflection AI. He was an executive at PayPal and a founding investor in several companies, including OpenAI. Reid actively supports various non-profits and has received numerous accolades, including an honorary CBE from the Queen of England and the Salute to Greatness Award from the Martin Luther King Jr. Center for his philanthropic efforts.

    Connect with Reid:

    Website: reidhoffman.org/ 

    LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/reidhoffman/ 

    Twitter: x.com/reidhoffman 

    Instagram: instagram.com/reidhoffman/ 

    YouTube: youtube.com/@reidhoffman

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    Resources Mentioned:

    Reid’s Book, Blitzscaling: The Lightning-Fast Path to Building Massively Valuable Companies: amzn.to/4jnQkfQ 

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  • YAPClassic: Heather Monahan, Overcome Haters and Build Unstoppable Confidence

    AI transcript
    0:00:03 Today’s episode is sponsored in part by Airbnb, OpenPhone,
    0:00:05 RocketMoney, and Indeed.
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    0:00:14 Find yourself a co-host at Airbnb.com/host.
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    0:00:19 Build stronger customer relationships and
    0:00:22 respond faster with shared numbers, AI, and automations.
    0:00:25 Get 20% off your first six months when you go to
    0:00:27 openphone.com/profiting.
    0:00:30 RocketMoney is a personal finance app that helps
    0:00:33 you find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions,
    0:00:36 monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills.
    0:00:39 Sign up for free at rocketmoney.com/profiting.
    0:00:43 Attract interview and hire all in one place with Indeed.
    0:00:46 Get a $75 sponsored job credit at
    0:00:48 indeed.com/profiting.
    0:00:49 Terms and conditions apply.
    0:00:52 As always, you can find all of our incredible deals in
    0:00:56 the show notes or at youngandprofiting.com/deals.
    0:00:58 (upbeat music)
    0:01:08 – Yap, gang.
    0:01:10 Welcome back to the show.
    0:01:12 And if you haven’t figured it out already,
    0:01:16 I’m a big believer in confidence.
    0:01:19 Having high self-confidence and self-esteem is truly
    0:01:21 a superpower in my book.
    0:01:23 Confidence is how I got here.
    0:01:25 And it’s the key ingredient in so many stories
    0:01:27 of success.
    0:01:29 But confidence doesn’t always come so easily.
    0:01:31 And in this Yap Classic, we’re gonna learn
    0:01:34 some proven strategies on how to build your confidence
    0:01:37 like a muscle from bestselling author, entrepreneur,
    0:01:41 and confidence creator, Heather Monahan.
    0:01:42 Heather is the host of the podcast,
    0:01:45 Creating Confidence on our very own Yap Media Network.
    0:01:48 And I spoke with her in this conversation in 2022
    0:01:50 for episode 182.
    0:01:53 Now, if you don’t know, Heather is my first client
    0:01:54 at Yap Media.
    0:01:55 She’s still my client.
    0:01:58 She actually pushed me to start my company.
    0:02:00 She’s one of my mentors, we’re great friends.
    0:02:04 And so she always gives me amazing actionable advice.
    0:02:05 And in this conversation,
    0:02:07 we talked about how to slay our haters,
    0:02:10 tackle toxic environments, overcome negative self-talk,
    0:02:12 and live without lanes.
    0:02:13 Yap, bam.
    0:02:16 I left that conversation feeling more confident than ever.
    0:02:18 And I know you will too.
    0:02:21 So listen, learn, and then go forth and conquer.
    0:02:25 – Hi, Heather.
    0:02:28 Welcome to Young and Profiting Podcast.
    0:02:29 – Oh my gosh.
    0:02:29 Hi, Hala.
    0:02:31 So happy to be here.
    0:02:33 – Heather, you’re my friend.
    0:02:34 So this is gonna be really fun.
    0:02:36 I love having my friends on the show.
    0:02:37 So for those who don’t know,
    0:02:40 you originally joined us for episode number 56.
    0:02:42 I was like a baby podcaster then.
    0:02:44 And little did I know that after meeting you
    0:02:46 that you would actually accelerate the trajectory
    0:02:47 of my career.
    0:02:49 And you are known as the confidence creator.
    0:02:51 You’re a top LinkedIn influencer,
    0:02:52 you’re a bestselling author,
    0:02:54 a keynote speaker, and executive coach.
    0:02:56 You’re also one of my personal mentors
    0:02:59 and you were actually my first client at Yap Media.
    0:03:01 You were the one who set everything off.
    0:03:04 So I’m super excited to talk about your latest book,
    0:03:05 “Overcome Your Villains.”
    0:03:07 But first I wanted to share a story
    0:03:08 with my listeners to kick this off
    0:03:11 because I think they’ve heard me talk about this a lot.
    0:03:13 But essentially you were my first client.
    0:03:16 You actually met me and I remember
    0:03:18 you were sort of like hounding me on LinkedIn
    0:03:19 and you were like, oh my God,
    0:03:21 teach me how to do your videos.
    0:03:23 And I kept being like, no, Heather,
    0:03:24 like I have an executive job at Disney.
    0:03:26 I just have a volunteer team.
    0:03:27 I can’t help you.
    0:03:28 But one thing led to another
    0:03:30 and you ended up being my first client
    0:03:33 and you were the one that gave me the idea
    0:03:34 to start my side hustle Yap Media,
    0:03:37 which has now generated over $4 million in revenue.
    0:03:40 I have 60 employees, I have a podcast network.
    0:03:42 It’s like my whole life.
    0:03:44 I feel like took the path that I was supposed to take,
    0:03:46 but you accelerated it for sure.
    0:03:48 So I always tell the story
    0:03:49 and I think a lot of my loyal listeners know it,
    0:03:51 but I’d love to hear it from your perspective.
    0:03:53 Like, what did you think of me when you first met me
    0:03:56 and like, what made you kind of push me
    0:03:58 and give me that kick?
    0:04:01 – Okay, so the way that I remember was,
    0:04:02 I don’t know how we got connected,
    0:04:04 but you had me as a guest on your show
    0:04:06 and you and I just hit it off.
    0:04:09 Like how you have chemistry with somebody right away.
    0:04:10 Like I knew I loved you
    0:04:14 and then your father passed away right during that time.
    0:04:18 And so I just remember my heart was breaking for you
    0:04:20 and I was so worried about you
    0:04:23 and just reaching out to you to make sure that you were okay
    0:04:24 as someone who had just shown up in my life
    0:04:27 that I cared about and I just wanted to know you were okay.
    0:04:29 And so that’s why we started talking more
    0:04:32 than just around the podcast or whatever initially.
    0:04:33 And so I got to know you better and better.
    0:04:35 And during that time,
    0:04:37 we would have different conversations
    0:04:40 and I would say, Paul, I love your content.
    0:04:42 You’re a marketing genius.
    0:04:44 Gosh, this, can you teach me sometime
    0:04:46 how you’re doing this stuff for the podcast?
    0:04:49 And you would, on the weekends, set up calls with me
    0:04:50 and you’re so detail-oriented,
    0:04:54 you’d be sending me calendar invites for Saturday at 4 p.m.
    0:04:57 And you and I would get on these Google Meet
    0:05:00 and you would go through all teaching me
    0:05:02 just out of the kindness of your heart.
    0:05:05 Oh, hey, Heather, this is like this tool that I’m using
    0:05:06 and this is this tool
    0:05:07 and this will help you with editing
    0:05:09 and teaching me all this stuff.
    0:05:10 And finally, I was like,
    0:05:13 “Hala, I can’t do all this stuff.
    0:05:14 You just do it for me.
    0:05:16 I need you to do this for me.”
    0:05:17 And you were like, “I can’t.
    0:05:18 I’m so busy.
    0:05:20 Like the only time I have time is on the weekends
    0:05:23 and I can’t, I’m working around the clock at Disney.”
    0:05:24 And I’m like, “You know what?
    0:05:25 Just freaking leave.
    0:05:27 You need to leave that job
    0:05:29 and you need to go all in and jump into this.
    0:05:30 This is a business for you.
    0:05:31 It’s crystal clear to me.”
    0:05:33 Like I saw it so clear.
    0:05:37 I saw your potential so much greater than what you were.
    0:05:39 You didn’t view it at that time.
    0:05:40 I could see it.
    0:05:42 And so I said, “I just know that if you make the leap
    0:05:45 and you jump in, the business is going to come.”
    0:05:46 And for everybody listening right now,
    0:05:49 like that’s a really important moment for anyone
    0:05:52 ’cause number one, you had the courage to make the leap,
    0:05:53 right, which is critical,
    0:05:55 but you had the willingness to believe
    0:05:57 like that potential was within you.
    0:05:59 Now, I will add that I’ll never forget,
    0:06:01 one day I was at the grocery store,
    0:06:04 I was at Publix in Miami and you called me
    0:06:06 and you’re like, “We had been talking about this
    0:06:08 for a little while about leaving.”
    0:06:10 Like it didn’t happen overnight, right?
    0:06:11 This was a few months.
    0:06:14 – I was doing it for like six months before I left Disney.
    0:06:16 – Right, so there was months leading up to this, right?
    0:06:18 So you didn’t just quit on a whim,
    0:06:20 but I’ll never forget I’m in Publix
    0:06:22 and you call and you were frantic.
    0:06:23 And I said, “What’s going on?”
    0:06:26 And you’re like, “I don’t know, like I’m feeling guilty.”
    0:06:27 I kind of sort of had it.
    0:06:29 Like you started having the conversation
    0:06:30 that you might be leaving.
    0:06:32 You kind of like floated it out there
    0:06:34 and then you were getting feedback like,
    0:06:36 “No, you can’t leave.”
    0:06:38 And you started panicking and questioning
    0:06:40 am I making the right decision?
    0:06:43 I’ll never forget, I was getting my son pasta sauce
    0:06:44 to make him pasta that night.
    0:06:45 I was like stand and I put it down
    0:06:48 and I was like, “Listen to me right now.
    0:06:50 This is the right decision for you.
    0:06:53 Do not let them put fear into your mind.
    0:06:55 Do not let them make you feel guilty.
    0:06:57 Do not let them talk you out of this.
    0:06:58 This is about you putting yourself first
    0:06:59 and taking the leap.
    0:07:00 I believe in you.
    0:07:02 I know you can do it, go and you did.”
    0:07:04 And I’ll never forget that.
    0:07:05 And I was so glad I picked up in Publix.
    0:07:08 – Oh my gosh, thank you.
    0:07:11 Guys, you don’t understand how there was my angel
    0:07:12 when my dad was dying.
    0:07:15 Like I swear, I feel like you came right in the moment
    0:07:17 when he started to get sick
    0:07:20 and then you were so caring and kept following up on me.
    0:07:23 And at the time, like I didn’t have any other mentors.
    0:07:25 I was at Disney and it was a total boys’ club
    0:07:27 and like even like my higher-ups,
    0:07:29 even though I was a great worker, they weren’t supportive.
    0:07:32 And so you were like this little angel for me
    0:07:33 and I’m so thankful.
    0:07:35 Thank you for everything that you’ve done for me
    0:07:37 and for getting me to start my company
    0:07:39 and then getting me to quit my job.
    0:07:42 And both times it was like major acceleration.
    0:07:44 I feel like it would have taken me another four years
    0:07:45 had I not met you.
    0:07:47 So thank you, Heather.
    0:07:49 – Well, listen, everybody comes into someone’s life
    0:07:50 for a reason.
    0:07:52 It’s up to you if you like, you accept it
    0:07:55 or some people close the door and push people away, right?
    0:07:58 But I’m grateful for you because not only,
    0:08:00 I was grateful to be able to have that opportunity
    0:08:02 to be there for you when you needed me.
    0:08:06 But then listen, you’ve repaid me millions of times over
    0:08:07 and the work that you do for me
    0:08:09 and the favors that you’ve done for,
    0:08:11 so it’s like in any relationship,
    0:08:13 there’s two sides of that road, right?
    0:08:15 And it’s like, when you need me, I’ll be there.
    0:08:17 And I know that when I need you, you’re there for me too.
    0:08:18 So I’m grateful for you.
    0:08:19 – 100%.
    0:08:21 And because you’ve done so much for me,
    0:08:23 I’m always thinking like, well, what can I do for Heather?
    0:08:25 Like how can I, like I’m like trying to make you all this.
    0:08:27 Now you’re signed to my podcast network
    0:08:30 and I’m like, how can I make Heather rich?
    0:08:31 – We love that!
    0:08:34 – Oh my gosh, I love it.
    0:08:36 Okay, so let’s talk about,
    0:08:39 so you coach dozens and hundreds of people.
    0:08:41 What are some of the things that get in their way?
    0:08:43 So for me, I was scared of entrepreneurship
    0:08:45 because I had all these like bad experiences
    0:08:48 as a younger girl with entrepreneurship.
    0:08:50 So what are some of the other things that people encounter
    0:08:53 when it comes to like not being able to follow their dreams?
    0:08:56 – Typically, it’s a story that you’re telling yourself.
    0:08:59 Like, so I don’t know about everyone who’s listening,
    0:09:01 but I’m sure there’s a story somewhere
    0:09:03 that you might not even be realizing
    0:09:04 that you’re telling yourself.
    0:09:07 For me, mine was, I had a sister who was really smart,
    0:09:08 she was a smart one.
    0:09:10 And so I would tell myself the story
    0:09:11 that I need to stay in my lane.
    0:09:13 I’m really good in sales and sales leadership.
    0:09:15 Like that’s all, I need to just focus.
    0:09:17 I’m lucky that I’m good at this
    0:09:18 and I should be grateful for it.
    0:09:21 And that’s my story I need to hang on to.
    0:09:24 I personally had to be willing to let go of that story
    0:09:27 to say, wait, maybe I’m just a talented individual
    0:09:29 that can show up in different places
    0:09:31 and try and test different things
    0:09:34 and trust that right path has been unfold for me.
    0:09:37 And that for me was like a big leap of faith.
    0:09:39 And I run into so many people,
    0:09:40 whether I’m coaching them,
    0:09:43 whether it’s on the podcast or whatever on DMs,
    0:09:44 hearing that people are,
    0:09:47 it’s so clear when they’re holding onto some story
    0:09:49 that’s not serving them at all.
    0:09:52 And it’s just a matter of letting go of that story
    0:09:54 and taking a chance on themselves like you did.
    0:09:55 – Yeah.
    0:09:57 And something that you just mentioned reminded me
    0:10:00 of something that you always say is like live lanelessly,
    0:10:01 like have no lanes.
    0:10:05 What’s the importance of not like settling for just one lane?
    0:10:07 – Because there’s so much more potential
    0:10:09 for everybody out there.
    0:10:12 For a long time in my life, I lived a very linear path.
    0:10:14 And for many of us and anyone listening right now
    0:10:16 that is in corporate America,
    0:10:17 nothing bad about corporate America,
    0:10:19 there’s great things out there.
    0:10:21 But sometimes we get so, we have our head down
    0:10:23 just in that industry, just in that role
    0:10:26 and just that title or just that company.
    0:10:29 It’s really important to pick your head up and say,
    0:10:31 let’s start talking to people outside of this industry.
    0:10:33 Let’s start talking to people
    0:10:34 who have very different backgrounds in me.
    0:10:37 Let’s start opening our minds up to what other possibilities
    0:10:39 and potentials are out there.
    0:10:41 And I’ll tell you for 20-something years
    0:10:42 when I was in corporate,
    0:10:45 I spoke for free everywhere as part of my job,
    0:10:47 had no idea there was a speaking business
    0:10:49 ’cause I hadn’t opened up my mind to it.
    0:10:52 I hadn’t been speaking to people in that industry.
    0:10:53 And I used to, people would say to me,
    0:10:56 you’re a gifted speaker, you’re so lucky.
    0:10:57 And I thought, yeah, great, so what?
    0:11:00 It’s not like that could pay the bills for me.
    0:11:02 And my mind was closed.
    0:11:04 I was just looking at this one linear path
    0:11:05 in front of me.
    0:11:07 And it wasn’t until I decided to blow up those lanes
    0:11:10 and just go out and see what I could find
    0:11:12 that I ended up finding a speaking business
    0:11:14 and ended up right when all these different doors
    0:11:14 started opening.
    0:11:16 So that’s my want for people
    0:11:18 is that they pick their heads up
    0:11:20 and start living lamelessly.
    0:11:21 – It’s so true.
    0:11:25 And I think that it’s more difficult when you’re doing good.
    0:11:28 Like for example, I had like an executive job at Disney.
    0:11:31 So that’s why I was so blind to my opportunities
    0:11:32 because I was like, well, what do you mean?
    0:11:34 I could just stay here and become a CMO.
    0:11:37 And it just will take me 20 years, you know,
    0:11:39 if I just stay here and keep working hard.
    0:11:42 And you don’t realize that there’s something better
    0:11:44 if you were just to open your mind.
    0:11:46 And once you do believe that life is limitless,
    0:11:49 you start to see all these different opportunities
    0:11:51 just like you came in my life and we’re like,
    0:11:53 Hala, it’s right here.
    0:11:55 Just take the jump and go for it.
    0:11:58 So I’d love to learn more about your career journey
    0:12:01 in case you guys haven’t listened to episode number 56.
    0:12:03 I wanna hear your milestones, Heather,
    0:12:06 ’cause I know that you were stuck in a corporate job
    0:12:09 for many, many years and you could have been an entrepreneur
    0:12:11 and been a speaker way earlier.
    0:12:12 So talk to us about your journey
    0:12:15 and what kind of triggered you to go off on your own?
    0:12:18 – Yeah, my whole life and career was in corporate America.
    0:12:21 And that was truly the only, when I was younger,
    0:12:23 I’m 47, when I was younger,
    0:12:25 there weren’t people in the entrepreneurial space.
    0:12:26 Nobody did that, right?
    0:12:29 Like Gary Vee didn’t exist back then.
    0:12:31 And so there was never messaging that,
    0:12:33 oh, this is an opportunity for you.
    0:12:35 The messaging was always nine to five,
    0:12:37 corporate America, figure it out.
    0:12:41 So to me, my goals were always very linear, clear,
    0:12:43 that this is where I wanna be successful
    0:12:44 and this is what I’m gonna do.
    0:12:47 So I never thought about possibilities outside of it.
    0:12:49 I just thought get to the C-suite, right?
    0:12:50 That’s what I wanted to get to.
    0:12:51 So I got to the C-suite.
    0:12:54 I was in the media business for 20-something years.
    0:12:56 I was named one of the most influential women in radio
    0:13:00 in 2017 and then literally a month later,
    0:13:02 I was fired unexpectedly
    0:13:05 when the CEO I had worked for for 14 years became ill
    0:13:08 and he elevated his daughter to replace him.
    0:13:10 That was the end of my corporate journey.
    0:13:13 – Wow, and so like, I just wanna highlight something.
    0:13:16 Like you were at the darling of the radio industry.
    0:13:19 Like Heather was on all these magazine covers.
    0:13:20 She was speaking everywhere.
    0:13:21 She’s gorgeous.
    0:13:22 If you guys aren’t seeing her on video,
    0:13:24 like she’s absolutely gorgeous.
    0:13:27 What were some of the things that this lady did to you
    0:13:29 that made you realize that she was like your villain?
    0:13:31 – Okay, so, well, it’s funny.
    0:13:34 It’s more the way that I responded
    0:13:35 that now that like when I reflect on it,
    0:13:38 I remember she wasn’t very nice to me, obviously.
    0:13:39 Like, you know, you have great chemistry
    0:13:41 with some people you don’t with some.
    0:13:42 She and I were very different.
    0:13:43 So I used to think, okay, that’s all right.
    0:13:45 But then I started thinking, Holland,
    0:13:47 this was a red flag and for anyone listening,
    0:13:49 think about this in your life.
    0:13:51 I was dialing myself down.
    0:13:53 I was like, hmm, I shouldn’t wear my hair down today
    0:13:55 ’cause she rolls her eyes when I have my hair down.
    0:13:57 Okay, I’ll put my hair in a bun.
    0:13:59 Oh, I shouldn’t wear a dress.
    0:14:00 I’ll wear a pantsuit.
    0:14:04 I started changing very slowly and quietly who I was
    0:14:07 in hopes it would appease her and make her feel better.
    0:14:09 That is the wrong move.
    0:14:11 Being a B-rate version of yourself is never the answer.
    0:14:14 And if you are with people who did not appreciate
    0:14:15 and celebrate you for who you are,
    0:14:18 you are in the wrong room and you gotta find your people.
    0:14:20 – Yeah, and 100%, especially you.
    0:14:23 Like, you love to dress up and that makes you feel confident.
    0:14:24 So essentially you were making yourself
    0:14:27 unconfident and smaller for this woman.
    0:14:29 – Bingo, that’s exactly it, right?
    0:14:32 But I, at the time, I remember I would talk myself into it.
    0:14:34 Like, Heather, you have such a big job.
    0:14:35 I’m a single mom.
    0:14:36 I have so much responsibility.
    0:14:38 You know, I had built this massive team.
    0:14:41 I was responsible for hundreds of millions of dollars.
    0:14:44 I would say to myself, okay, take your ego out of it.
    0:14:46 Like, I would convince myself this was the right thing,
    0:14:49 but it was wrong and it never felt right.
    0:14:50 And the thing is your intuition
    0:14:52 is always gonna steer you right.
    0:14:54 You’ve gotta dial up that voice, journal,
    0:14:56 do whatever it takes to spend time alone,
    0:14:58 go for a walk and things through.
    0:15:01 And how do I feel when I’m around these people?
    0:15:04 If you’re feeling full of self-doubt and questioning yourself,
    0:15:06 you are either doing the wrong thing
    0:15:07 or you’re around the wrong people.
    0:15:09 That was the key to me.
    0:15:11 I ended up actually, my back went out,
    0:15:12 like I started losing hair.
    0:15:15 Physically, I started responding in a very negative way
    0:15:17 because at that point in time,
    0:15:18 it was like the universe hitting me over the head
    0:15:21 to say, you gotta get out of the situation.
    0:15:24 – Yeah, and it actually forced you out of the situation
    0:15:27 because you didn’t leave, you ended up getting fired.
    0:15:28 Do you ever regret, like, man,
    0:15:31 like I wish I just left on my own accord?
    0:15:33 Are you just happy the way things turned out?
    0:15:35 – I mean, listen, I’m not gonna sugarcoat it.
    0:15:39 Getting fired is one of the biggest punches in the gut
    0:15:41 when you’re in type A over a cheaper, right?
    0:15:43 Like I, that was really hard.
    0:15:47 Yeah, I could know everything that I know now 10 years ago,
    0:15:48 I would have quit 10 years ago
    0:15:51 and gone into the speaking business 100%
    0:15:53 because I’d be 10 years ahead of where I am.
    0:15:55 But no, I didn’t have that knowledge.
    0:15:56 And I guess things have to play out
    0:15:57 the way that they’re meant to.
    0:16:01 So listen, the one great moment about getting fired
    0:16:03 that I love, I’m so proud of,
    0:16:05 and I wish we all had a movie of this
    0:16:06 so that we could watch it right now
    0:16:09 ’cause I would be cheering younger HM along in this.
    0:16:13 That day I walked in, that woman was full of joy.
    0:16:14 She was so happy.
    0:16:17 She was standing, she was power posing.
    0:16:18 She asked me to sit, right?
    0:16:20 Like these are all games people play
    0:16:22 when they’re trying to intimidate.
    0:16:24 And so I sat down, she was standing over me.
    0:16:26 She’s a very tiny, petite woman.
    0:16:28 She had me sit ’cause I’m much bigger than her.
    0:16:30 And so I’m sitting down
    0:16:32 and she passes two pieces of papers in front of me.
    0:16:34 I’d seen the movie before, right?
    0:16:36 I knew it was about to happen.
    0:16:38 And she said, “I’m gonna send this memo out.”
    0:16:40 And it said, “Heather’s been fired,
    0:16:42 “or I’m gonna send this memo out.”
    0:16:43 And it was a beautiful letter
    0:16:44 about like how amazing I was.
    0:16:46 And I was moving on to this new journey.
    0:16:49 Right in your ego saying you want the beautiful letter,
    0:16:50 but she says, you know,
    0:16:52 in order to get the beautiful letter,
    0:16:53 you’re gonna get a very big check
    0:16:54 and you have to sign this.
    0:16:56 And it’s this massive document,
    0:16:59 which is basically a gag clause.
    0:17:00 And in that moment, it was like,
    0:17:02 that was my snapping moment.
    0:17:03 I just remember looking at the papers,
    0:17:05 looking at her, looking at the papers
    0:17:07 and thinking, I didn’t write these memos.
    0:17:09 I’m not signing these memos.
    0:17:10 And you know what?
    0:17:13 I’m gonna suck all the power out of this room.
    0:17:15 And I stood up and I smiled.
    0:17:17 And I said, I didn’t write the memos.
    0:17:17 I’m not signing them.
    0:17:18 There’s nothing else to say.
    0:17:20 I’m on my way.
    0:17:22 In that moment, everything changed.
    0:17:24 And her face went from a giant smile
    0:17:27 to, I mean, red, like she wanted to kill me
    0:17:29 ’cause she wanted to control the narrative.
    0:17:31 She wanted to be holding the pen,
    0:17:34 telling the story and crafting it the way she saw fit.
    0:17:35 And when I didn’t sign that,
    0:17:37 I could walk out and tell my true story.
    0:17:39 – Let’s hold that thought
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    0:22:29 Heather now has a podcast called Creating Confidence.
    0:22:30 I would highly recommend it.
    0:22:31 We’ll put it in the show notes.
    0:22:33 You guys got to check it out.
    0:22:35 She wrote a number one best-selling book
    0:22:36 called Creating Confidence.
    0:22:37 Now she has Overcome Revillains.
    0:22:39 She’s spoken everywhere.
    0:22:42 What made you feel like you needed to write this book?
    0:22:43 Oh my gosh.
    0:22:46 Responding number one to questions people ask me, right?
    0:22:48 So people ask me, how did you get to the C-suite?
    0:22:49 How did you do this?
    0:22:51 Like, I want to let people know, listen,
    0:22:52 if I could do it, you can too.
    0:22:54 Let me give you the, I’ll give you the cheat sheet, right?
    0:22:56 Like, don’t listen to the BS other people
    0:22:58 are saying who haven’t done it.
    0:23:00 Let me break it down for you in the simple steps.
    0:23:02 One of the big things that I realize now,
    0:23:04 looking back on my career, my life,
    0:23:08 nothing amazing happens until you overcome that villain.
    0:23:12 Like for you, the villain was the corporate job
    0:23:13 and the security and the safety.
    0:23:15 Like that was your villain in the moment.
    0:23:19 For me, my villain was myself and my negative self-talk
    0:23:20 and dialing myself down.
    0:23:22 I had to overcome myself
    0:23:26 in order to step into my possibility and power.
    0:23:29 So just, I started thinking more and more about like,
    0:23:31 listen, no one’s ever going to reach their greatness.
    0:23:34 No one’s ever going to achieve the potential success
    0:23:36 that’s out there for them until they deal with
    0:23:40 that one nasty villain, everybody’s got one.
    0:23:41 And it’s about not just acknowledging it,
    0:23:43 but overcoming it.
    0:23:44 – Yeah, and I love what you’re saying.
    0:23:46 You’re saying it’s not just only other people,
    0:23:47 it can be yourself.
    0:23:50 Sometimes your biggest villain is actually yourself.
    0:23:53 So the big idea in this is if we don’t control our villains,
    0:23:55 they’re going to control us, right?
    0:23:56 They’re going to control our lives,
    0:23:59 whether that’s ourselves or that’s other people
    0:24:00 who are our villains.
    0:24:01 So let’s talk about how to move beyond
    0:24:03 these negative people and situations.
    0:24:06 You have a three-step process to overcome challenges.
    0:24:08 It’s called the Bach process.
    0:24:11 It stands for belief, actions, and knowledge.
    0:24:13 Can you give us like the one, two-minute,
    0:24:15 high-level overview and then we’ll go deep on it?
    0:24:17 – Yeah, I’ll give you a real quick,
    0:24:18 I’ll use myself as an example
    0:24:20 ’cause it’s the easiest to understand.
    0:24:22 Okay, so when I got fired,
    0:24:24 the belief I sat with when I immediately got fired was,
    0:24:26 I’ve lost everything.
    0:24:29 I remember walking out and I’m like, I’ve lost everything.
    0:24:31 So when you’re in that moment and challenge hits,
    0:24:33 pump the brakes and say, okay,
    0:24:34 what’s the belief I’m holding?
    0:24:35 I’ve lost everything.
    0:24:38 Now dial that down to the most simplistic shred of fact
    0:24:39 you can find.
    0:24:40 So as I dialed it down,
    0:24:42 I thought I didn’t lose my network.
    0:24:44 I didn’t lose my expertise.
    0:24:46 I didn’t lose my friends, my health, my family,
    0:24:48 my business acumen.
    0:24:50 Wait a minute, I didn’t lose anything.
    0:24:51 I lost a paycheck.
    0:24:52 That was fast.
    0:24:54 I did lose a paycheck.
    0:24:55 So suddenly going from,
    0:24:58 I’ve lost everything to I lost a paycheck.
    0:25:01 That really helped to close a gap for me to say,
    0:25:03 well, I’ve gotten paychecks from other places before,
    0:25:05 when you start dialing that belief down
    0:25:07 to the most simplistic shred of fact,
    0:25:09 you’re gonna get your head in a much better space.
    0:25:11 Number two, immediately take action.
    0:25:14 And this is where a lot of people get held up.
    0:25:17 Lucky for me, this is like my action is my wheelhouse, right?
    0:25:20 So I went immediately to LinkedIn and I put a post up.
    0:25:22 So take messy action.
    0:25:24 I didn’t write some long, beautiful posts.
    0:25:25 I just put out there,
    0:25:26 hey, Ben fired, need your help.
    0:25:27 Like I’m raising my hand.
    0:25:28 Here I am, right?
    0:25:32 So take messy action done will always be better than perfect.
    0:25:33 And then three, knowledge.
    0:25:36 You wanna surround yourself and curate the knowledge
    0:25:38 that you’re accessing and allowing into your life.
    0:25:40 So that great example of this is landing
    0:25:41 on the Elvis Duran show.
    0:25:43 Someone who’s light years ahead of me,
    0:25:45 much more successful than me,
    0:25:47 speaking truth and life into me, telling me,
    0:25:49 Heather, you’re writing a book.
    0:25:51 Had that man not said that to me that day,
    0:25:53 I don’t know where I would be right now, right?
    0:25:55 So be really mindful about the people
    0:25:57 you’re accessing information from
    0:25:59 and never take direction from people
    0:26:01 who haven’t been where you are going.
    0:26:03 – I remember you were telling me that story.
    0:26:05 I just wanna like touch on that a little bit.
    0:26:08 So Elvis Duran, he’s this huge radio personality.
    0:26:10 Heather was live on air
    0:26:12 and he just announced that she was writing a book
    0:26:14 and she had no plans for a book.
    0:26:15 He just said it.
    0:26:16 And then that was it.
    0:26:18 Then you became a best-selling author.
    0:26:20 It’s like, it’s sort of like what you did to me.
    0:26:22 Like when somebody just believes in you
    0:26:24 and then he just like gave you all that accountability
    0:26:26 in front of other people.
    0:26:27 – Exactly.
    0:26:28 And that’s the thing.
    0:26:29 When this is important for everyone listening,
    0:26:31 like whenever you feel something
    0:26:33 like you wanna speak a truth into someone, do it.
    0:26:35 Your words are so powerful.
    0:26:38 You can change the trajectory of someone else’s life.
    0:26:40 So whatever thoughts come into your mind
    0:26:41 and something positive or encouraging
    0:26:44 that you can give as a gift to someone, give that gift.
    0:26:47 Because that man totally changed the trajectory
    0:26:50 of my life, my business life, my personal life,
    0:26:53 everything by speaking a truth and a belief he had.
    0:26:55 I had never considered writing a book.
    0:26:58 But when he had such a conviction and a belief
    0:27:00 that I could do it and that it was gonna be great,
    0:27:02 I bought into it and I Googled, how do you write a book?
    0:27:03 – I love that.
    0:27:06 So while we’re on the topic of kind of helping other people
    0:27:08 because there’s people in our lives
    0:27:11 and we wanna influence them, we wanna help them as well.
    0:27:14 And sometimes it can be really hard to give advice.
    0:27:17 And Amy Marin gave you advice before your TED Talk
    0:27:20 and she gave you this like sandwich technique
    0:27:21 to give other people feedback.
    0:27:22 Could you share that with us?
    0:27:23 – Oh yeah, sure.
    0:27:25 So the sandwich technique is,
    0:27:27 it’s a really helpful one anytime you’re leading teams,
    0:27:30 you’re mentoring people or developing people.
    0:27:33 Oftentimes people have a hard time taking criticism,
    0:27:35 right, like they shut down the minute they hear,
    0:27:38 ooh, that’s not so good or I wouldn’t do it that way.
    0:27:39 They can’t hear anything,
    0:27:40 they’re not gonna process anything else.
    0:27:44 So a great technique strong leaders use very often
    0:27:46 is they leave with something positive, right?
    0:27:49 So let’s use the example of when I was giving my TEDxTalk,
    0:27:52 my friend Amy Marin has over 21 million views
    0:27:53 on her TEDxTalk.
    0:27:55 So she’s been where I wanted to go.
    0:27:59 So she’s the person I chose to tap for advice on my talk.
    0:28:01 And so when I shared it with her,
    0:28:04 she came back at me and said, listen,
    0:28:06 wow, you’re an amazing speaker, Heather.
    0:28:08 Like she’s leading with praise.
    0:28:10 I love the whole concept.
    0:28:11 It’s so unique.
    0:28:13 The idea is incredible.
    0:28:15 I love how you position ABC and D.
    0:28:18 Now a sandwich is in the middle is the meat, right?
    0:28:20 So now here’s where the constructive criticism
    0:28:22 and real impact is gonna come, right?
    0:28:25 She’s like, however, I didn’t love,
    0:28:27 you didn’t pull me in the way you usually do
    0:28:28 in the beginning.
    0:28:30 And I think that there’s something bigger
    0:28:33 that you could come up with that would draw the audience
    0:28:35 and quickly in a different way.
    0:28:36 I’m not sure what it is,
    0:28:38 but I challenge you to find out what that is.
    0:28:41 And then let’s go back to the bread in the sandwich, right?
    0:28:44 And then she closes with how she is so certain
    0:28:45 I am gonna kill it,
    0:28:47 that my talk will be just as successful as hers,
    0:28:49 that she can’t wait to support me
    0:28:52 and closes with a really powerful, supportive gesture.
    0:28:55 So the sandwich technique is all about
    0:28:58 lead with positivity, praise in a true and honest way.
    0:29:00 The middle of that conversation
    0:29:02 is where you’re gonna give the constructive criticism
    0:29:02 and feedback
    0:29:05 and then close with encouragement and positivity again.
    0:29:06 – I love that.
    0:29:07 I can’t wait to use that
    0:29:10 because sometimes I feel like I’m too blunt with my team
    0:29:13 and as I become a leader and have less and less time,
    0:29:15 I feel like I’m just always giving negative feedback.
    0:29:18 But if I could just pause, make sure I say something positive,
    0:29:21 then give criticism, then say something positive again,
    0:29:24 they’ll always have like a great feeling about me
    0:29:25 as a person and just your relationships,
    0:29:28 I’m sure will be better, especially as a leader.
    0:29:30 – Oh my gosh, I’m gonna go find you
    0:29:31 like a little sandwich and send it to you
    0:29:33 so it can be on your next year’s computer.
    0:29:36 – A reminder, a sandwich magnet.
    0:29:37 Yeah, I’d love that.
    0:29:39 So let’s talk about negative self-talk
    0:29:42 because like we mentioned, we can be our own villains.
    0:29:45 What should we do when we’re having negative self-talk?
    0:29:47 – First of all, stop, right?
    0:29:49 So one of the things that was helpful for me
    0:29:50 is just to pause and say,
    0:29:52 “Ooh, gosh, this is like an old way
    0:29:55 I used to speak to myself, I don’t do this anymore.”
    0:29:58 I’m noticing, just be aware, you wanna be self-aware.
    0:30:00 But this was a huge one for me.
    0:30:03 I remember thinking, would I ever speak to my son like this?
    0:30:05 No.
    0:30:07 Of course I wouldn’t say you idiot,
    0:30:09 but I would never talk to my child like that, right?
    0:30:11 If you don’t have a child, think of someone
    0:30:13 that you love in your life that you wanna encourage
    0:30:17 and envision them and speak to yourself
    0:30:18 the way you would speak to them.
    0:30:20 So let’s use an example.
    0:30:23 Let’s say I blew it with some presentation or whatever,
    0:30:25 and I’m beating myself up afterwards,
    0:30:26 I become self-aware and say,
    0:30:28 “Okay, I’m gonna pause for a minute.
    0:30:31 This is an old way I used to behave, it wasn’t helpful.
    0:30:33 So how can I change it?”
    0:30:34 And then I picture my son
    0:30:36 and I picture he blew a presentation.
    0:30:38 And so now I talk to him and I say,
    0:30:39 “Listen, sweetheart, I know it seems
    0:30:41 like the end of the world right now,
    0:30:43 but I promise you this is temporary
    0:30:44 and I promise you you’re gonna get better from it
    0:30:46 and we’re gonna practice more for the next one.
    0:30:49 And I promise that this happened for a reason
    0:30:51 and this is steering us to a new and better place.
    0:30:53 And suddenly I start feeling better
    0:30:56 ’cause I’m coaching me the way that I would coach him,
    0:30:57 right?
    0:30:58 And suddenly I feel more positive
    0:31:00 and I start believing in myself.
    0:31:03 So whether you need to carry a picture around of that person
    0:31:05 or carry a picture around of you
    0:31:07 as a younger version of yourself
    0:31:09 and you’re coaching that younger person,
    0:31:10 but it’s all about being aware,
    0:31:12 giving yourself the grace
    0:31:15 and then rewriting that narrative at the moment.
    0:31:15 – I love that.
    0:31:17 I think that is such great advice.
    0:31:18 And if you don’t have a kid,
    0:31:21 you can think about like coaching your little sister
    0:31:22 or your best friend or just anybody
    0:31:24 that you love and care about.
    0:31:25 Like you’ve got to have self-compassion
    0:31:28 and talk to yourself as if you love yourself, you know?
    0:31:31 Otherwise you’re gonna carry all this negative energy
    0:31:33 and it’s never gonna do you any good.
    0:31:37 So I wanna take us back to when you were a Chief Revenue Officer
    0:31:39 at a public traded radio company.
    0:31:41 You worked for a very successful CEO
    0:31:43 and he had a house party one day.
    0:31:46 And he brought you to his new mansion
    0:31:47 and he bought on the Gulf of Mexico
    0:31:50 and you were so amazed by this beautiful house
    0:31:51 until one of your coworkers said,
    0:31:54 “This is the house that Heather built.”
    0:31:57 And we were just talking about how we can be blind
    0:31:58 to our own surroundings.
    0:32:01 And I feel like this really drives that point home.
    0:32:03 So how did that statement affect your beliefs
    0:32:05 about your future?
    0:32:06 – Oh my gosh, that was a big,
    0:32:08 it’s such a weird how you can have big moments
    0:32:09 at any point in time
    0:32:11 and you never know when something’s gonna hit you.
    0:32:13 But I had been at this company, like I said,
    0:32:14 for 14 years, right?
    0:32:17 We were doing an excess of $200 million annually.
    0:32:20 My job was I was responsible for all revenue
    0:32:21 and for the revenue team.
    0:32:24 And so when we walked in and he had just bought,
    0:32:27 this house was like $35 million, PS,
    0:32:29 I don’t live in a $35 million house.
    0:32:30 So, yeah.
    0:32:34 And so we soon with the podcast, “Hallelujah,” we will.
    0:32:38 So I walk into this party and someone was making a joke.
    0:32:40 You know, it was being funny saying like,
    0:32:41 “Oh, this is the house that Heather built.
    0:32:43 I’m the one that’s responsible
    0:32:44 for making the money for the company.”
    0:32:46 But when he said it, you know, people were laughing like,
    0:32:48 “Oh, that’s cute, that’s a cute, you know,
    0:32:49 that’s funny and cute,” whatever.
    0:32:50 I got pissed.
    0:32:52 I’m like, wait a minute.
    0:32:53 If this is the house that Heather built,
    0:32:55 why isn’t Heather fricking living here?
    0:32:57 Like I’m the one out on the planes every week.
    0:32:59 I’m the one out cutting these big deals,
    0:33:00 building these teams.
    0:33:02 Why isn’t it my house?
    0:33:07 So I left that night not happy, but more challenged to say,
    0:33:08 “Why isn’t it my house?”
    0:33:11 And then I remember thinking,
    0:33:13 “Okay, this is back when I worked for the CEO
    0:33:14 that promoted me three times,
    0:33:17 not the one that fired me, it was her father.”
    0:33:17 And I remember thinking,
    0:33:20 and he had shared this with me a few times, his story.
    0:33:23 His story was he had been a principal
    0:33:25 and an educator and did not have a lot of money,
    0:33:27 had a lot of kids, not a lot of money.
    0:33:29 And so secretly and quietly at night,
    0:33:31 he started working at a radio station.
    0:33:34 Then he built up enough money to buy that one radio station.
    0:33:35 And then he advanced that radio station,
    0:33:38 he built enough money to buy another radio station.
    0:33:40 And then there was this huge crash in the ’90s
    0:33:42 and everyone said the internet is all there is
    0:33:45 and radio’s gone, which was not the case,
    0:33:47 but he couldn’t see into the future.
    0:33:48 He wasn’t getting any loans from companies
    0:33:51 and he didn’t know how he was gonna pay his debt and go on.
    0:33:54 And I remember him saying that he had
    0:33:56 to walk on the beach alone at night to say,
    0:33:58 I can either double down on this right now
    0:34:00 and take the biggest risk in my life and go all in
    0:34:03 on what I think is gonna pay off 10-fold
    0:34:06 or I can fold up and sell for pennies on the dollar,
    0:34:09 lose everything and go back and be a principal again.
    0:34:12 And everybody was selling their radio companies
    0:34:14 ’cause they were trading for pennies on the dollar
    0:34:16 and all of his friends sold.
    0:34:19 And he doubled down and bought and bought and bought
    0:34:21 and leveraged everything he had
    0:34:25 and went into massive debt and it paid off, huge.
    0:34:27 So I remembered that story walking out there
    0:34:29 and I realized, yes, I do all the work,
    0:34:31 yes, I close all the deals, I make all the money,
    0:34:34 but I’ve never done what that man did.
    0:34:36 I never took that massive leap of faith
    0:34:38 like you eventually did, like I eventually did
    0:34:42 after I got kicked out, but that was the missing piece.
    0:34:45 So until you’re willing to take that big risk,
    0:34:48 you’re never really gonna get that great reward.
    0:34:51 We’ll be right back after a quick break from our sponsors.
    0:34:59 – All I keep thinking about is like you were allowing
    0:35:02 that job to control you, like that was your villain.
    0:35:04 The paycheck was your villain.
    0:35:06 That lady was also a villain
    0:35:08 because she was like blocking you,
    0:35:09 but really in the grand scheme of things,
    0:35:11 it was you, like you said, it was yourself
    0:35:13 that you had these limiting beliefs
    0:35:16 and you were letting your villain control you.
    0:35:17 This story also reminds me of something
    0:35:19 that Ed Milet shared with us.
    0:35:21 So you’re also friends with Ed Milet.
    0:35:23 He came on the show and he was talking to me
    0:35:26 about how he likes to step into his dreams.
    0:35:29 So when he and his wife were first coming up,
    0:35:30 they were pretty broke.
    0:35:32 They used to save money and once a month,
    0:35:35 they would go to a very fancy hotel
    0:35:36 and they would get super dressed up
    0:35:39 and he would go golfing and she would wear a pretty dress
    0:35:41 and they would pretend to be rich for a day.
    0:35:44 And he says that that’s what really pushed him to realize
    0:35:47 that he wanted to accomplish these dreams.
    0:35:48 So I’m sure seeing that huge mansion,
    0:35:52 you were like, whoa, like I’m playing like way too small.
    0:35:54 Do you believe in manifestation?
    0:35:55 Like, do you visualize?
    0:35:58 Like, tell us about your top tips for that.
    0:36:01 – Oh my gosh, you already know, but yeah, huge.
    0:36:03 I completely do.
    0:36:06 And to Ed’s point, I was at his house.
    0:36:09 He now lives in that multi-multi-million dollar house
    0:36:10 on the beach, right?
    0:36:12 He’s living that dream that he manifested
    0:36:14 at a younger age and it is true.
    0:36:16 I did not know this when I was younger,
    0:36:19 but literally your words are your wand.
    0:36:22 Like whatever you speak, you are putting it,
    0:36:24 it’s speaking it into existence.
    0:36:25 So instead of being the one to say,
    0:36:28 I’m such an idiot, oh, blonde moment,
    0:36:30 which is something I said many times in my career.
    0:36:34 Now I speak, I’m kicking ass, I’m going bigger,
    0:36:37 I’m going for more and those doors start opening.
    0:36:42 Like whatever you speak will create some type of movement
    0:36:44 or opportunity in your life or hold back for you.
    0:36:45 That choice is up to you.
    0:36:47 So now I take my time to,
    0:36:50 when I was interviewing Sarah Blakely live on stage,
    0:36:53 I was really nervous before taking that stage.
    0:36:55 So for a week leading up to it,
    0:36:56 every night I would lay on my floor,
    0:37:00 I would close my eyes and I would see her smiling at me.
    0:37:02 I would see me smiling at her.
    0:37:04 I would see us taking the stage.
    0:37:06 I would see a standing ovation.
    0:37:09 I would see what I wanted to put out into the universe,
    0:37:12 into the world and that energy that I wanted to have.
    0:37:14 And yeah, I was nervous as I’ll get out
    0:37:16 when I took that stage,
    0:37:20 but because I had played it through my mind so many times,
    0:37:21 it went amazing.
    0:37:22 Even though there were lots of mistakes
    0:37:23 and bumps that occurred,
    0:37:26 it didn’t matter because I had this vision
    0:37:28 of what was going to happen and it happened.
    0:37:30 And it was the same way with my TEDx talk.
    0:37:31 I was so scared.
    0:37:35 I was so nervous taking that stupid little red circle.
    0:37:38 And I’ll tell you because I had envisioned it
    0:37:40 and played it through my mind so many times,
    0:37:42 it didn’t matter the amount of challenges
    0:37:43 that occurred that day.
    0:37:45 And there were plenty of them
    0:37:48 because I had this vision that I hung on to
    0:37:50 and it manifested in the end.
    0:37:52 – I love that.
    0:37:54 So I had one of my first speaking engagements.
    0:37:56 I did it at MIT.
    0:37:58 And I had insomnia that night
    0:38:00 because all I kept doing was replaying
    0:38:04 a very good job of me saying this speech.
    0:38:05 But then I ended up doing a great job
    0:38:07 and I was, even though I had insomnia
    0:38:10 because I feel like I was just visualizing the whole night
    0:38:11 and I didn’t have much time to prepare.
    0:38:14 So my body was like, you need to visualize all night
    0:38:16 and you’ll worry about sleep later.
    0:38:17 So I totally agree.
    0:38:19 Sometimes when you just see yourself on stage
    0:38:21 and you imagine it going well,
    0:38:23 it usually always does turn out okay,
    0:38:26 which is just so interesting to me.
    0:38:28 – It’s science back.
    0:38:30 There’s so much science that points to
    0:38:32 that you’re priming your brain for something.
    0:38:35 I mean, Olympic athletes use this when training, right?
    0:38:38 Tom Brady will talk so much about this.
    0:38:42 Anyone who’s extremely successful on some level
    0:38:44 is using visualization,
    0:38:46 whether they realize they’re doing it or not
    0:38:48 and just be willing to give it a shot.
    0:38:50 And it doesn’t have to be for a TED Talk.
    0:38:53 It can be for a presentation at work next week.
    0:38:55 It can be for asking somebody out on a date, right?
    0:38:57 Like whatever it is that you’re feeling
    0:39:00 a little bit of angst or anxiety that you want to happen,
    0:39:03 start envisioning happen and watch how it manifests.
    0:39:06 – Yes, and we can’t just dream, we’ve got to do, right?
    0:39:10 So the second part of your Bach method is actions.
    0:39:13 Now we love actionable advice at Young and Profiting Podcast
    0:39:15 and you say that we can track our progress
    0:39:19 toward achieving our goals by using a 30-day grid.
    0:39:21 Can you explain what a 30-day grid is
    0:39:22 and how we create one?
    0:39:25 – Yeah, so I liken it to weight loss, right?
    0:39:28 So if you want to lose five or 10 pounds,
    0:39:30 you need to know what your baseline is
    0:39:32 that you’re starting at, know what your goal is,
    0:39:34 get a picture of that goal, right?
    0:39:35 Like if I want to lose weight,
    0:39:36 I’m going to get a picture of me and a bikini
    0:39:39 when I’m younger and I’m like looking like I’m killing it.
    0:39:41 So you know what you’re chasing after
    0:39:42 and then you want to weigh in every day
    0:39:45 and track the progress and action steps you’re taking
    0:39:46 to help you achieve your goal.
    0:39:49 You want to tap somebody to hold you accountable, right?
    0:39:50 These are all like basic steps.
    0:39:53 So, but it doesn’t just have to be for weight loss.
    0:39:55 It can be for this idea of I want to be
    0:39:57 a more competent version of myself
    0:39:59 or I have, for me, when I got fired,
    0:40:01 I have no idea where I’m going.
    0:40:02 So that my baseline was like, okay,
    0:40:07 we’re at ground zero right now, at the end of 30 days,
    0:40:10 I want to be feeling like a much more confident version
    0:40:12 of myself and having some idea of where I’m going.
    0:40:14 This is truly what I did do.
    0:40:15 And so I created a vision.
    0:40:17 I actually have a life-size cutout of myself
    0:40:19 that I put up in my living room
    0:40:22 so that I could, because I’m super confident in that picture
    0:40:23 and I wanted to see it every day.
    0:40:25 Like, hey, I’m coming for you, girl.
    0:40:27 I’ve been there before, I’m coming for you.
    0:40:29 And so I would keep that visual
    0:40:32 and then every day I would chart my action steps
    0:40:34 that I was taking to create opportunity.
    0:40:35 But the other really cool thing,
    0:40:37 I’d also practice gratitude
    0:40:39 and I would do it on this grid as well
    0:40:40 and encourage everyone to do that
    0:40:42 ’cause it just helps your mind shift to what is possible,
    0:40:45 what is good instead of what is so hard
    0:40:46 as we all have challenges,
    0:40:47 but staying focused on the pods
    0:40:49 and really will help you build momentum.
    0:40:52 And so then I would start tracking the amazing gifts
    0:40:55 that started showing up in my life, like Elvis Durand,
    0:40:58 and like all these different people who started showing up
    0:41:01 that I didn’t know were coming a week before.
    0:41:03 And then when you start seeing that, oh my gosh,
    0:41:05 I wonder what’s gonna come next week then
    0:41:08 that just helps you build more and more momentum.
    0:41:09 And then the more momentum you have,
    0:41:10 the more action steps you take,
    0:41:13 the more things that you do that create more opportunity
    0:41:14 and it feeds on each other.
    0:41:15 And before you know it,
    0:41:17 you’re living the life of the life-size cut-out
    0:41:19 that I have in delivering them.
    0:41:20 – I love that advice.
    0:41:23 Something else that you say that’s really interesting
    0:41:27 is you said that we should put a song behind our goals.
    0:41:29 What is the power of putting like music
    0:41:31 or having a theme song surrounding your goal?
    0:41:32 – Oh my gosh, so funny.
    0:41:35 So my whole career was in the radio business, right?
    0:41:38 So I’ve read so many research papers and white papers
    0:41:40 in regards to the impact music has on the mind.
    0:41:44 And there’s a reason why McDonald’s has a jingle.
    0:41:47 They want you constantly to be thinking about that, right?
    0:41:52 So pairing an action step or a statement or an affirmation
    0:41:56 with music is only gonna further ingrain it in your mind
    0:41:58 and frequency cells.
    0:42:00 So the thoughts that you hold more often
    0:42:02 are the ones that are going to impact you
    0:42:04 in a positive or a negative way.
    0:42:09 So why not be the director of your own at-home movie here
    0:42:11 that you’re running around with all day long?
    0:42:14 For me, I chose a song by Kendra Clemar.
    0:42:16 I love myself.
    0:42:17 I chose a visual.
    0:42:19 And this is back to the media business, right?
    0:42:22 You wanna pair a visual with an audio jingle
    0:42:24 or a song with messaging.
    0:42:26 In my idea, I wanted to be more confident.
    0:42:28 I wanted to be like that best version,
    0:42:30 that 10 plus plus of myself.
    0:42:31 So I got that visual.
    0:42:33 I started running the Kendra Clemar song
    0:42:35 all the time in my head.
    0:42:37 And then I started stating this.
    0:42:40 Fear is a green light that means go and go faster.
    0:42:42 And whenever you feel it, Heather, you’re moving into it.
    0:42:44 And so like those three things,
    0:42:46 I just made part of my daily routine.
    0:42:50 And I will tell you within 30 days, if you practices,
    0:42:52 you will see a profound difference
    0:42:54 in whatever it is that you’re going out there
    0:42:55 trying to achieve.
    0:42:57 You’re gonna see that you will be achieving it.
    0:42:59 – I certainly believe it.
    0:43:03 So let’s take a step back because we all have goals,
    0:43:04 but we need to be making sure
    0:43:06 that we’re working on the right things.
    0:43:08 And you have a great actionable piece of advice
    0:43:11 because you say when acting on something,
    0:43:12 you always ask yourself,
    0:43:15 what’s the grief to gross ratio?
    0:43:16 Which I thought was super interesting.
    0:43:17 I’ve never heard this before.
    0:43:19 So talk to us about this little framework
    0:43:22 to help you make sure you’re working on the right things.
    0:43:23 – I came up with this back
    0:43:25 when I was in the media business.
    0:43:26 We’ll use my old job for an example, right?
    0:43:30 So I could add more people to my team to accelerate revenues.
    0:43:33 I could create new business contests
    0:43:35 to have people focus on bringing in new business.
    0:43:37 I could train the existing team up.
    0:43:39 I could personally go after the largest clients
    0:43:41 in the country and close the biggest deals myself, right?
    0:43:44 There’s so many different things that you can do
    0:43:47 in any job to have bigger and more profound impact
    0:43:48 and more success.
    0:43:50 So you have to start taking a step back
    0:43:52 and observe the entire landscape
    0:43:54 and say, where is my time best spent?
    0:43:56 Or we need to be strategic here.
    0:43:57 I don’t wanna be running around
    0:43:59 like a chicken with her head cut off,
    0:44:01 darting on to the left and right.
    0:44:03 And no, where can I have the most impact
    0:44:05 and where can I do it seamlessly
    0:44:07 and most effectively and efficiently?
    0:44:09 And so I started looking at things as,
    0:44:12 okay, if there’s gonna be a lot of grief around this.
    0:44:15 So for example, going out and interviewing hundreds
    0:44:18 and hundreds of people to find one good candidate,
    0:44:20 that didn’t sound like the best grief
    0:44:21 to gross ratio for me.
    0:44:24 So I started thinking, and this is years ago, right?
    0:44:27 This is probably six years ago.
    0:44:29 This is why I launched my personal brand six years ago.
    0:44:32 I started thinking, how can I flip the current?
    0:44:34 Instead of me chasing people,
    0:44:36 how do I get people to start chasing me?
    0:44:38 And so six years ago, I launched a personal brand
    0:44:41 to attract people into my life that might be like-minded,
    0:44:44 that might be looking for ways to elevate themselves,
    0:44:46 get tips, those are my kind of people.
    0:44:48 I wanted to pull that current towards me
    0:44:50 so that those people were constantly applying
    0:44:52 for the jobs that I did have available.
    0:44:55 And that grief to gross ratio was so much better
    0:44:58 than the way I had been doing it before.
    0:44:59 – Yeah, I have to say,
    0:45:01 like you’re a very like go with the flow type of person.
    0:45:03 Like you’re one of my clients, right?
    0:45:05 I’ve been working with you for over two years.
    0:45:07 You are like not an annoying client at all.
    0:45:10 There’s some clients who don’t let us do our jobs.
    0:45:12 They wanna be social media managers.
    0:45:13 They wanna write the copy.
    0:45:15 They wanna give so much feedback,
    0:45:17 but you’re so much more of the person.
    0:45:20 You’re just like, you’re the expert, you do it.
    0:45:21 I’m gonna do what I’m good at
    0:45:23 and you do what you’re good at.
    0:45:25 And I feel like that works so well
    0:45:27 because you like, don’t you feel like
    0:45:29 that’s just such a better way to approach things?
    0:45:31 Like not to be micromanaging people?
    0:45:32 – Well, here’s the thing.
    0:45:34 That woman that ended up firing me,
    0:45:36 she was a huge micromanager.
    0:45:40 So in my opinion, this is my, how I see things like,
    0:45:42 there’s certain qualities I admire in people
    0:45:43 and there are certain things I don’t.
    0:45:45 And I think it’s good to reflect on like the,
    0:45:47 listen, she’s super organized, I’m not.
    0:45:48 And that’s like good for her.
    0:45:49 I wish I had that, right?
    0:45:51 So there’s things that were great about her too.
    0:45:55 But I do remember this nasty like coldness I felt about her
    0:45:57 that she was always questioning,
    0:46:00 always will show me the speech before you take the stage.
    0:46:02 Why do you care what I’m gonna talk about
    0:46:04 when I’m talking to a sales organization
    0:46:06 has nothing to do with you.
    0:46:08 Asking for control.
    0:46:10 And I remember learning from what I didn’t like
    0:46:13 about her leadership that that lack of control
    0:46:17 and her trying to control it showed up to me as weakness.
    0:46:19 And I see that as a weakness in people
    0:46:22 when you wanna grab hold of something so hard,
    0:46:24 it’s ’cause you don’t feel really confident in you.
    0:46:29 So to me, why would I hire you and your team
    0:46:31 if I don’t have trust and belief in you?
    0:46:33 And then how could I ever think you’re gonna show up
    0:46:37 as the best version of yourself as a media expert?
    0:46:40 If I don’t empower you to go out there and do it,
    0:46:41 you’re not gonna be the best.
    0:46:44 And I’m gonna be the one sabotaging you and setting you up
    0:46:46 all because I’m insecure and I’m a control freak.
    0:46:47 No thanks.
    0:46:49 – Egg, exactly.
    0:46:51 Let’s stay on action and let’s talk about asking
    0:46:52 ’cause this is really important.
    0:46:55 You’re never gonna get what you want if you don’t ask for it
    0:46:58 and you are like an expert when it comes to pitching.
    0:47:00 So let’s talk about the ways that you’ve pitched yourself
    0:47:01 in the past.
    0:47:03 You’ve got some really great stories about pitching yourself
    0:47:06 and then some tips you have to pitch ourselves.
    0:47:06 – Oh my gosh, all right.
    0:47:08 So always put yourself in the other person’s shoes.
    0:47:11 That’s the number one most important thing.
    0:47:12 You’re solving a problem for them.
    0:47:13 So I’ll use the example when I went
    0:47:15 to a publicly traded company,
    0:47:17 they didn’t have the VP of sales position.
    0:47:19 And I saw, as soon as I got to the company,
    0:47:21 I’m like, oh, there’s so much lack in different market.
    0:47:23 I saw the solution.
    0:47:25 I knew what the solution was for their problem.
    0:47:28 They didn’t know they had a problem, but I saw it.
    0:47:30 So now I had to put myself in the shoes
    0:47:33 of the decision maker and think, okay, what are his holdbacks?
    0:47:36 Fear of change, fear of failure.
    0:47:38 I had to think through all those challenges.
    0:47:39 So put yourself in their shoes,
    0:47:41 see what pain points they’re gonna have,
    0:47:43 see what fears they’re gonna have
    0:47:45 and address all of those in your pitch.
    0:47:47 So then you make it really easy for them
    0:47:50 to take hold of the idea and make it their own.
    0:47:53 So I went into the pitch, always go face to face,
    0:47:55 don’t do it on Zoom, don’t do it on email,
    0:47:56 don’t do it on the phone.
    0:47:59 You’re very easy to say no to in those situations.
    0:48:01 It’s much harder to look someone eye to eye
    0:48:02 and say no to them.
    0:48:04 So something’s important, pitch in person.
    0:48:07 And I did my homework, I got to the meeting,
    0:48:10 I made the pitch and he said no.
    0:48:14 And I learned such a big lesson that day.
    0:48:16 I ended up, I went back two weeks later
    0:48:18 and I was gonna resign, I was gonna take another job.
    0:48:20 And he said, hang on a second.
    0:48:22 He excused himself from the restaurant,
    0:48:23 came back five minutes later.
    0:48:24 I said, where did you go?
    0:48:26 He said, oh, I had to call my father
    0:48:28 to get approval on the position, Heather.
    0:48:30 Yes, we’re awarding you the VP of sales.
    0:48:31 And I learned this powerful lesson
    0:48:34 that even if you think someone’s a decision maker,
    0:48:36 qualify it, qualify it ahead of time
    0:48:39 so you don’t waste your time or their time
    0:48:41 or make a misinformed decision.
    0:48:44 – Yeah, and I have to say asking is so powerful
    0:48:46 when it comes to just like leveling up in your career.
    0:48:49 I feel like so many things I’ve gotten
    0:48:52 was because I asked for even the cover of podcast magazine.
    0:48:54 I was just supposed to have a regular interview
    0:48:56 and I remember at the end of the conversation,
    0:48:58 I was like, so am I gonna be on the cover?
    0:49:00 And he was like, maybe.
    0:49:02 And then it happened.
    0:49:03 – You planted the seed.
    0:49:05 – I put it in his ear and he was like,
    0:49:06 well, I guess this is the best article
    0:49:07 she could be on the cover.
    0:49:10 And that totally accelerated my career.
    0:49:11 And if I hadn’t asked that,
    0:49:14 I don’t know if they would have really thought about me
    0:49:15 or considered me.
    0:49:16 – Of course not.
    0:49:19 You put it out there and that’s exact same thing that I did.
    0:49:21 I had Gary be on my podcast
    0:49:23 and at the very end of the episode
    0:49:24 while we were still recording,
    0:49:27 I said, Gary, now do you think that your audience
    0:49:29 could benefit from a story like mine
    0:49:30 and some of the tips and techniques
    0:49:33 that I can teach people how to bounce back from adversity?
    0:49:35 And he’s like, absolutely.
    0:49:36 I said, well, then I need to be on the show, right?
    0:49:38 I just showed up and asked.
    0:49:39 And then he put me on the show.
    0:49:42 And right, but it’s all about having that willingness.
    0:49:45 You have to be willing and allowing for someone to say no,
    0:49:47 knowing that’s just part of the journey
    0:49:48 and that, you know what, it’s a numbers game
    0:49:51 and you’re just gonna keep asking bringing value
    0:49:54 and those right doors will open and see what happens.
    0:49:55 – Exactly.
    0:49:57 You just have to realize that the worst I can say is no,
    0:50:00 but if you don’t ask, and by the way, they’ll say no,
    0:50:02 but it will be in the back of their head.
    0:50:04 And they’ll know that you’re available
    0:50:06 and wanting of that opportunity.
    0:50:07 And people love to help, but at the end of the day,
    0:50:09 people like to help other people.
    0:50:10 – Well, most people.
    0:50:12 I mean, we’re gonna keep a couple caveats.
    0:50:15 – There are some really bad villains,
    0:50:17 but screw those people.
    0:50:19 All right, so let’s talk about knowledge.
    0:50:22 That is the third part of the BOC system.
    0:50:24 It’s the information and skills we need to be
    0:50:26 more effective people in every aspect
    0:50:27 of our work and personal lives.
    0:50:29 So this has actually been a hot topic
    0:50:32 for me on the podcast lately because I find
    0:50:34 that I’ve been finding more and more young people
    0:50:37 who don’t have skills or knowledge.
    0:50:38 And they want all these opportunities.
    0:50:39 They want a great job.
    0:50:40 They want to make money.
    0:50:42 They want to be an entrepreneur, for example,
    0:50:43 but they have no skills.
    0:50:45 So talk to us about the importance of getting knowledge
    0:50:48 and skills and some advice you have for my young listeners.
    0:50:50 – I mean, listen, here’s the thing.
    0:50:51 Nothing is gonna replace hard work.
    0:50:54 And I know it would be beautiful if something could
    0:50:57 and there was a magic wand, but there isn’t, right?
    0:50:59 Like competency builds confidence
    0:51:02 and competency comes from showing up and learning, right?
    0:51:04 And doing the hard work and making the business trips
    0:51:06 and like being in these meetings
    0:51:08 where you’re asking and being told no and no and no
    0:51:09 and you’re refining your process
    0:51:11 and you’re learning and you’re understanding.
    0:51:13 You’ve got to immerse yourself in the suck.
    0:51:14 It sucks.
    0:51:16 I did not like being an account executive
    0:51:18 when I first started in the radio business.
    0:51:20 I did not like being a first time author,
    0:51:23 having no idea how to sell books,
    0:51:25 but I had to stumble through the suck
    0:51:27 to start figuring out what did work.
    0:51:30 And that’s what so often today, because of social media,
    0:51:33 because so many people only post the highlight reel,
    0:51:36 that people think, “Oh, she just stumbled out onto that stage
    0:51:39 “and gave a great TEDx talk.”
    0:51:42 Oh, how, no, I’ve pitched for a hundred times.
    0:51:44 I was told no a hundred times for TEDx
    0:51:45 before I landed at TEDx, right?
    0:51:48 And then I worked for months on that speech
    0:51:50 that took 10 minutes that people just think
    0:51:52 I strolled out for on a Saturday, right?
    0:51:55 Like people don’t see the work that goes in on the back end.
    0:51:59 So the most important thing is pick your head up
    0:52:00 like you were saying, ask for help.
    0:52:02 Sometimes you’re not gonna get it.
    0:52:04 That’s okay too, but you need to ask.
    0:52:07 Ask and when you don’t get it, start self-teaching.
    0:52:08 We live in an incredible time.
    0:52:10 You wanna learn from, and my let,
    0:52:11 go put on his YouTube channel.
    0:52:13 Go put on his podcast.
    0:52:14 You want me to mentor you?
    0:52:15 Go turn on my podcast.
    0:52:18 But there’s so much content and information out there.
    0:52:20 You can teach yourself anything.
    0:52:21 Last night I went into the kitchen.
    0:52:22 My son was in the oven.
    0:52:24 I’m like, “What are you doing?”
    0:52:26 He said, “I just made banana bread.”
    0:52:28 I’m like, “Well, I don’t know how to make banana bread.”
    0:52:30 He’s like, “Well, you need to watch TikTok, mom.”
    0:52:33 You can teach yourself anything
    0:52:35 if you have a phone or a computer.
    0:52:37 So I just see it as a weak excuse
    0:52:38 that people are being lazy
    0:52:40 if they don’t wanna build their skill set.
    0:52:42 Like, knowledge is everywhere.
    0:52:44 It’s up to you if you’re gonna access it
    0:52:45 and run with it.
    0:52:46 – I completely agree.
    0:52:48 I feel like almost everything I learned
    0:52:50 was on the internet for free.
    0:52:51 I did go to school.
    0:52:52 I got my MBA, I got this and that.
    0:52:54 Everything that I use today
    0:52:56 is either something I learned on the job
    0:52:58 or something I learned on the internet.
    0:52:59 And there’s no excuses.
    0:53:01 Just work hard, get the experience
    0:53:02 and take the time to learn.
    0:53:03 I think that’s the other thing.
    0:53:05 People wanna spend time watching TV,
    0:53:06 scrolling on social media.
    0:53:09 You’ve gotta take the time to learn, to read,
    0:53:11 and to level up your knowledge
    0:53:13 on your specific niche or industry.
    0:53:15 – Well, I just wanna highlight,
    0:53:16 I just wanna say one thing to that point.
    0:53:18 You did a lot in academics before
    0:53:19 and people are gonna say,
    0:53:21 “Oh, that’s why she got Disney.”
    0:53:23 Here’s what I wanna say is I’m coaching
    0:53:26 a very senior level executive at a Fortune 10 company.
    0:53:27 She’s amazing.
    0:53:29 She never went to college.
    0:53:32 And for a long time, that was her hold back.
    0:53:34 This woman makes millions of dollars a year
    0:53:36 and she would say, “I can’t pitch myself for that
    0:53:38 “because I don’t have the pedigree,
    0:53:41 “I don’t have the Harvard MBA.”
    0:53:42 Here’s the thing.
    0:53:44 Instead, what she leaned into on the knowledge side
    0:53:48 was her experiences, her network with where she spent her time.
    0:53:51 So your knowledge doesn’t have to look the same way
    0:53:53 somebody else’s does.
    0:53:55 I have a bachelor’s from Clark University
    0:53:57 and then I have a ton of networking
    0:53:59 and experience on the job, right?
    0:54:02 Your formula can look so different than anybody else’s.
    0:54:04 Yours can be entirely self-taught.
    0:54:06 Don’t let any of it hold you back.
    0:54:07 It’s just about immersing yourself
    0:54:09 in the place that you’re supposed to go,
    0:54:12 doing that work that is that right fit for you at the time.
    0:54:14 – That is such an excellent point.
    0:54:16 Okay, so we’re gonna wrap this show up.
    0:54:18 I always ask the last two questions.
    0:54:19 I ask everybody the same questions
    0:54:21 and then we do something fun at the end of the year.
    0:54:24 So the first one is what is one actionable thing
    0:54:26 that my listeners can do today
    0:54:28 to become more profiting tomorrow?
    0:54:29 – Ask for help.
    0:54:31 Find someone out there in your world
    0:54:33 in your sphere of influence
    0:54:36 and reach out, someone who is where you wanna go
    0:54:39 and send them a note and ask them for help.
    0:54:41 You never know what doors you could open.
    0:54:42 – I love that.
    0:54:46 And what is your secret to profiting in life?
    0:54:48 – To me, it truly is mindset over everything.
    0:54:51 Like you hold the key to unlocking the door to yourself.
    0:54:53 You hold the key to going bigger.
    0:54:55 There is no one holding you back.
    0:54:56 It is all on you.
    0:54:58 So unlock that door and go for it.
    0:54:59 – Awesome.
    0:55:02 So Heather, tell us where we can find Overcome Your Villains.
    0:55:04 Tell us about how we can find your podcast
    0:55:06 and learn more about everything you do.
    0:55:07 – Oh my gosh.
    0:55:09 Go get the audio book Overcome Your Villains.
    0:55:11 It is top charts on Amazon right now.
    0:55:14 I narrate it and I go, I riff on live
    0:55:16 on every single chapter.
    0:55:17 It’s so, it’s my favorite.
    0:55:18 I’m super proud of it.
    0:55:19 Go check it out.
    0:55:22 My podcast, which is with Hollis Network
    0:55:24 is creating confidence with Heather Monaghan.
    0:55:26 I’m @heathermonaghan on all social media
    0:55:28 and I would love to hear from you.
    0:55:30 – Guys, Heather is amazing.
    0:55:31 Heather changed my life.
    0:55:35 I hope you guys enjoy her content as much as I enjoy her.
    0:55:37 Thank you so much for coming on the show.
    0:55:39 – Thank you so much for having me.
    0:55:41 (upbeat music)
    0:55:44 (upbeat music)
    0:55:46 (upbeat music)
    0:55:49 (upbeat music)
    0:55:52 (upbeat music)
    0:56:02 [BLANK_AUDIO]

    Heather Monahan was at the top of her career when she was blindsided and fired after 14 years as Chief Revenue Officer. Instead of letting it define her, she walked away with her head held high and rebuilt her life on her own terms. Heather turned her setback into a springboard for success, becoming a bestselling author, keynote speaker, and confidence expert. In this episode, Heather shares her three-step BAK process for overcoming villains, strategies for navigating toxic environments, and the power of living “lanelessly.”

    In this episode, Hala and Heather will discuss: 

    (00:00) Introduction  

    (03:09) Heather’s Impact on Hala’s Career

    (04:13) Personal and Professional Challenges

    (09:59) Living Lanelessly

    (13:25) Facing Villains and Building Confidence

    (21:00) The BAK Process for Overcoming Challenges

    (23:58) The Sandwich Technique for Constructive Feedback

    (26:31) Overcoming Negative Self-Talk

    (34:16) Manifestation and Visualization

    (37:31) The 30-Day Grid for Goal Tracking

    (39:45) The Power of Music in Achieving Goals

    (41:30) Grief to Gross Ratio

    (45:13) The Art of Pitching Yourself

    (48:41) The Importance of Knowledge and Skills

     

    Heather Monahan is a 2x bestselling author, Top 50 Keynote Speaker in the World (2022), entrepreneur, founder of Boss In Heels, and host of the Creating Confidence podcast. Before becoming a top author and speaker, Heather successfully climbed the corporate ladder for nearly 20 years, becoming one of the few women to break the glass ceiling and claim a spot in the C-suite. In 2017, she was named one of the Most Influential Women in Radio. In 2018, Thrive Global named her a Limit Breaking Female Founder, and in 2021, Girls Club honored her as the Thought Leader of the Year. Forbes recognized Heather’s first book, Confidence Creator, as one of the five must-have books for women in business in 2021. Her latest book, Overcome Your Villains, was released in November 2021.

    Connect with Heather:

    Website: heathermonahan.com

    Linkedin: linkedin.com/in/theheathermonahan 

    Twitter: twitter.com/_heathermonahan 

    Instagram: instagram.com/heathermonahan 

    Facebook: facebook.com/heathermonahanofficial   

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    OpenPhone – Get 20% off 6 months at openphone.com/PROFITING   

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    Airbnb – Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at airbnb.com/host 

    Rocket Money – Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to rocketmoney.com/profiting 

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    Resources Mentioned:

    Heather’s Books: 

    Confidence Creator: amzn.to/4htDiLK 

    Overcome Your Villains: amzn.to/40KXGTa 

    Heather’s TedxTalk: youngandprofiting.co/3Wxxrx7 

    Heather’s Podcast, Creating Confidence: apple.co/3ESsHYL 

    More About Young and Profiting

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    Get Sponsorship Deals – youngandprofiting.com/deals

    Leave a Review – ratethispodcast.com/yap

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    Follow Hala Taha

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    Instagram – instagram.com/yapwithhala

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  • YAPCreator: Unlock Your Potential and Thrive as a Content Creator | Presented by OpusClip

    AI transcript
    0:00:03 Today’s episode is sponsored in part by Airbnb, OpenPhone,
    0:00:05 RocketMoney, and Indeed.
    0:00:07 Hosting on Airbnb has never been
    0:00:10 easier with Airbnb’s new co-host network.
    0:00:14 Find yourself a co-host at Airbnb.com/host.
    0:00:17 OpenPhone is the number one business phone system.
    0:00:19 Build stronger customer relationships and
    0:00:22 respond faster with shared numbers, AI, and automations.
    0:00:25 Get 20% off your first six months when you go to
    0:00:27 openphone.com/profiting.
    0:00:30 RocketMoney is a personal finance app that helps
    0:00:33 you find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions,
    0:00:36 monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills.
    0:00:39 Sign up for free at rocketmoney.com/profiting.
    0:00:43 Attract interview and hire all in one place with Indeed.
    0:00:46 Get a $75 sponsored job credit at
    0:00:48 indeed.com/profiting.
    0:00:49 Terms and conditions apply.
    0:00:52 As always, you can find all of our incredible deals in
    0:00:56 the show notes or at youngandprofiting.com/deals.
    0:01:07
    0:01:09 Hello, young and Profiters.
    0:01:12 Welcome to episode four of the YAP Creator series
    0:01:13 presented by OpusClip.
    0:01:16 In this series, we’re diving deep into the art and
    0:01:18 science of content creation.
    0:01:22 How to create, connect, and thrive as a modern day creator.
    0:01:24 These days, the opportunities to express yourself and
    0:01:27 connect with others through online content seems truly
    0:01:31 limitless, but it can also be incredibly overwhelming.
    0:01:32 Where do you begin?
    0:01:35 How do you identify the unique skills and insights that
    0:01:38 will set you apart from the crowd and resonate with others?
    0:01:42 Today, with an assist from some all-time great YAP guests
    0:01:44 like Gary Vaynerchuk, Jenna Kutcher, Kelly Roach,
    0:01:47 and James Altucher, I’m going to help you get started.
    0:01:49 Amongst other things, we’ll cover the importance of
    0:01:52 experimentation in your creative process.
    0:01:56 Content creation is not just about finding a formula that works.
    0:01:59 It’s about exploring new ideas, learning from your experiences,
    0:02:01 and evolving along the way.
    0:02:03 All right, let’s dive in.
    0:02:06
    0:02:09 Content creation is truly at the heart of being an
    0:02:10 entrepreneur today.
    0:02:13 You may not have ever imagined yourself as a content creator,
    0:02:16 but to succeed in today’s online marketplace, you need to be
    0:02:19 willing and able to market yourself and your business.
    0:02:23 Compelling content is a powerful tool to demonstrate value,
    0:02:26 connect with target audiences, and differentiate yourself
    0:02:27 from competitors.
    0:02:29 And it’s no longer an option, quite frankly.
    0:02:30 It’s a must-have.
    0:02:33 Here’s Sean Cannell, who built his massive YouTube channel
    0:02:36 from scratch, explaining why it’s so important to be in the
    0:02:39 content game and why getting started is easier than you
    0:02:40 might expect.
    0:02:43
    0:02:47 Why is Gary Vaynerchuk and Grant Cardone and Laila Hermosi
    0:02:50 and Noah Kagan and Alex Hermosi investing so heavily in content?
    0:02:54 Why, when they have other businesses and other things to do,
    0:02:56 I think it’s because they understand that personal brand is
    0:02:59 the most valuable asset you can possibly have.
    0:03:04 Kevin O’Leary, you know, the Sharks, all of these different
    0:03:10 personal brand, and by building out in content the wave of the
    0:03:14 creator economy itself, you tapping into being a creator,
    0:03:17 publishing content, basically the next three years are going to
    0:03:19 be the best three years in the creator economy.
    0:03:22 And MrBeast himself, the biggest independent YouTuber,
    0:03:25 also mentioned that YouTube’s algorithm is one of the most
    0:03:28 generous algorithms as we speak.
    0:03:31 That new creators are being suggested on people’s homepages
    0:03:33 and getting a shot and people’s suggested feeds.
    0:03:38 That if you start a brand new channel right now and you make
    0:03:41 the right video around the right topics with the right content,
    0:03:45 you can grow from scratch right now in 2024.
    0:03:49 So I think that when you think all the platform has aged out or
    0:03:52 whatever, or it’s just already saturated, saturation is actually
    0:03:56 impossible by the dictionary definition if it’s still increasing.
    0:03:59 If the total addressable market’s increasing, if consumption of
    0:04:02 content is increasing, which it is, if more users are appearing
    0:04:05 there, which they are, and if these users are more individual
    0:04:08 and unique, speaking to you finding your niche and your
    0:04:11 1,000 true fans, it’s not saturated.
    0:04:12 It’s not too late.
    0:04:15 And the next three years are actually going to be double of
    0:04:17 what’s happened in the last 17.
    0:04:21 So we’re actually in a crazy strategic time for YouTube.
    0:04:25 And so I think that’s actually data-backed good news for business
    0:04:28 owners listening to this right now for really tapping into the
    0:04:30 power and the wave that’s happening.
    0:04:34 >> My God, you’re getting me so excited because I feel it too.
    0:04:38 I feel like YouTube is just not primed for disruption, but
    0:04:42 it doesn’t seem as competitive as I once thought it was.
    0:04:46 I just see this opportunity where I can kind of stand out, have in-person
    0:04:49 interviews, just understand the platform a little bit better.
    0:04:52 So it’s really good news that you’re saying that we can all still grow on
    0:04:57 YouTube, and I know for myself, when I started podcasting six years ago,
    0:04:58 everyone told me that it’s too late.
    0:05:02 Look at me now, I’m top of the charts podcast princess.
    0:05:05 So it’s never too late to start on your dreams.
    0:05:09 >> So somebody is looking to start a YouTube channel.
    0:05:13 And they’re an entrepreneur, which is most of my listeners.
    0:05:16 And they’ve got to ask themselves some key questions,
    0:05:18 even before they start creating videos.
    0:05:21 What are the key questions and considerations people should think
    0:05:25 through before they actually start a YouTube channel for their business?
    0:05:29 >> Yeah, I think number one is, why do you want to start a YouTube channel?
    0:05:37 And that answer to that might not be super obvious.
    0:05:41 It’s a general good problem or a good question to ask is, what are we solving for?
    0:05:42 We’re solving for X.
    0:05:44 Do we need more revenue?
    0:05:47 Are we using it as lead gen?
    0:05:52 Are we using it, and we could get into some granular questions.
    0:05:56 What is the potential of YouTube for my particular business?
    0:05:57 Is there a good alignment there?
    0:06:02 And then also how much time do I have to invest and what am I trying to achieve?
    0:06:06 Another interesting question is to say, do you have any desire to create content
    0:06:13 that you’re in yourself or how committed do you think you could be to creating
    0:06:14 content?
    0:06:15 Because sometimes we get ahead of ourselves.
    0:06:20 I think we’ve seen brands, this is an interesting opportunity,
    0:06:22 where you could hire talent.
    0:06:29 What happens, Moment Lenses did it to this day, Kensington Memory.
    0:06:34 Has Tersha Hershberger, who’s a solo influencer that also is like talent hired
    0:06:35 for the channel.
    0:06:39 So at the early stage, do you want to build your personal brand?
    0:06:42 Do you want to have your own show?
    0:06:44 Are you interested in creating content?
    0:06:48 Who are five to ten YouTube channels that you maybe watch and
    0:06:51 inspire you and would you like to have a YouTube channel like theirs?
    0:06:54 If you haven’t spent some time on YouTube,
    0:06:55 I would encourage that to be a first step.
    0:07:00 Do some reconnaissance and research to see what else is out there in your niche.
    0:07:06 Because if you would say, and then yeah, do you want to build your business,
    0:07:10 leads and clients, or do you want to build your next business,
    0:07:14 aka maybe your personal brand because what you’ve already accomplished and
    0:07:19 built, you’re thinking about speaking, writing, getting your name out there,
    0:07:23 creating, getting your intellectual property, your frameworks, your processes,
    0:07:27 your teachings captured so you can make an impact and a difference in people’s
    0:07:30 lives as well as get booked to speak and invited places.
    0:07:35 And I’m, I could get granular on case studies and use cases for
    0:07:39 how you could use YouTube for all kinds of different niches of a friend of mine
    0:07:43 just acquired a like real estate education business.
    0:07:47 And then he bought a YouTube channel, which was owned by like a,
    0:07:51 an exam YouTube channel, 35,000 subscribers.
    0:07:56 So he can start putting like these real estate exams and lead Jen over to his
    0:07:59 real estate education business.
    0:08:00 He won’t be in videos.
    0:08:02 He can outsource these that could be AI, they could be voice.
    0:08:08 So, so I would say that YouTube is an asset no matter what we’re talking about.
    0:08:11 And there’s a way to do it, whether you’re on camera, whether it’s faceless,
    0:08:12 whether it’s another talent.
    0:08:17 But these self-awareness questions are some really good foundational questions.
    0:08:22 And usually the people who like come to our event and watch our stuff.
    0:08:25 A lot of times say, okay, I want to create content.
    0:08:27 I want to create a video podcast.
    0:08:29 I want to be a talking head on video.
    0:08:31 I maybe want to teach or do cooking.
    0:08:36 We get into the creator side DIY or cooking or we have auto repair shops,
    0:08:38 all kinds of business owners too that use it.
    0:08:43 But where a lot of times clicks best is even thinking through,
    0:08:45 do you see yourself as a personality and do you want to put yourself out there?
    0:08:53 So like the auto repair and modification shop.
    0:08:58 The owner has got a big YouTube channel, part of our podcast community.
    0:09:01 But like, he’s discovered that he loves it.
    0:09:04 Now, listening to this, you’re not going to know if you could discover that yet.
    0:09:07 And I would encourage you why, you probably don’t love it yet.
    0:09:10 And you probably are intimidated a little and you’re probably a little bit
    0:09:13 nervous to get on camera, but I would challenge you.
    0:09:15 One of the best experiments you could ever do is start before you’re ready,
    0:09:18 start messy, make 50 to 100 videos.
    0:09:21 That might sound like a lot, but the reason, because it’s going to transform you.
    0:09:23 I promise you, it will improve your life.
    0:09:25 It’ll just make you a better communicator.
    0:09:26 It’ll help you grow.
    0:09:30 But what you might uncover is you might uncover like, I love this and
    0:09:32 I’m actually good at this.
    0:09:34 And it would be the wrong signal to think that day one,
    0:09:36 oh, I’m not good on this, this must not be for that.
    0:09:38 No, we’re all terrible day one.
    0:09:40 So sometimes it’s like an uncovering and
    0:09:44 appealing away the layers of the onion, if you will, to kind of discover that.
    0:09:47 [SOUND]
    0:09:51 Like Sean said, we’re all terrible on day one.
    0:09:55 You have to let go of the idea that you’re going to be perfect or even good.
    0:09:58 Jenna Kutcher, one of the most successful podcasters in the world,
    0:10:03 was once a wedding photographer who had no idea how to present herself or
    0:10:04 her brand on social media.
    0:10:09 So she started experimenting and she quickly learned that sometimes what
    0:10:12 connects with other people is not at all what you expected.
    0:10:15 [SOUND]
    0:10:19 It all grew super organically until it didn’t.
    0:10:24 So when I was a wedding photographer, I realized really quickly that there were
    0:10:28 a million wedding photographers in my area that were really talented.
    0:10:31 And the only thing that made me different was me.
    0:10:34 Because we were all delivering a very similar finished product.
    0:10:38 And so even in the early days, and I mean this is like,
    0:10:42 oh gee, Instagram, we’re talking here, like when we used to use those weird
    0:10:46 Valencia filters, I would just share my life.
    0:10:49 And I would just share who I was and what I was struggling with.
    0:10:54 I would share working from home with no makeup on, this is the reality of it.
    0:10:57 And it was so interesting because when I first became a wedding photographer,
    0:10:59 I just hid behind my work.
    0:11:00 It was like this safe spot.
    0:11:03 I figured surely everyone only wants to see my work.
    0:11:05 And I remember years and years and years ago,
    0:11:08 pulling my audience of like, what are your favorite posts?
    0:11:10 And it was all personal.
    0:11:11 And I was like, what is this?
    0:11:17 And so fast forward a few years, we went to Hawaii and I wanted to do an
    0:11:19 experiment and I love experimenting.
    0:11:21 I am like a huge experimenter.
    0:11:24 And so I said, for 30 days, I’m gonna only post me.
    0:11:28 And this is at a time when I’d been hiding behind my work for years.
    0:11:32 And my engagement skyrocketed.
    0:11:34 My confidence in myself grew.
    0:11:36 My connection to my audience grew.
    0:11:39 And I was like so fascinated by it because I was like,
    0:11:42 this seems like the least interesting thing of like what I’m doing.
    0:11:44 I was just sharing my life.
    0:11:48 And it really made me realize like people need to connect with people.
    0:11:51 And I never set out to be an influencer.
    0:11:54 I really wanted to just like continue to grow and share.
    0:11:57 And I really have realized over the last few years of like,
    0:12:02 my dream is to like help women build businesses they don’t hate
    0:12:04 and build lives that they love.
    0:12:08 And I have been taking people on this journey, not as like,
    0:12:11 I have figured this all out, but like, I am still learning.
    0:12:12 I am still growing.
    0:12:13 I’m still figuring this out.
    0:12:17 And so when I started doing like social media collaborations
    0:12:19 and social media promotions and different things like that,
    0:12:23 it just felt so natural because I am the kind of person where I’m like,
    0:12:25 oh my God, have you tried this new lip gloss?
    0:12:28 Or like this skin like cleanser is life changing.
    0:12:32 Like I am naturally like when I go on a girl’s date with my girlfriends
    0:12:34 by the end of the day, I’ve dropped like 10 links of things
    0:12:37 that I’m just telling them about because I’m like,
    0:12:39 if this works for me, this could work for you.
    0:12:41 Like I just love not gatekeeping, whether it’s business
    0:12:44 or like beauty products or whatever that is.
    0:12:48 And so that was just such an interesting like facet for me to realize
    0:12:49 like people care about the business.
    0:12:52 Yes, but they also care about like what’s happening behind the business
    0:12:54 and like what’s fueling it.
    0:12:55 And so that was interesting.
    0:12:56 We did have a viral moment.
    0:12:58 So I grew very organically.
    0:13:00 I felt like I knew every single follower.
    0:13:02 Like I just, it felt that way.
    0:13:05 And we had a moment go viral and it was a photo of me and my husband
    0:13:09 on the beach in Hawaii and I was talking about body image.
    0:13:15 And it was the funniest post because I just, I never expected to go viral.
    0:13:17 I think that’s what happens with viral posts.
    0:13:19 And I was clapping back at someone who had said,
    0:13:21 how can a woman like you get a man like him?
    0:13:23 And my husband is very fit.
    0:13:24 He’s very in shape.
    0:13:26 At the time I was curvier.
    0:13:30 I had been going through miscarriages and lost my body had been through so much.
    0:13:32 And I was just angry and I was like, who are you to say this?
    0:13:34 Like we have been together for a decade.
    0:13:38 He has loved me through every pound, every pimple, like everything.
    0:13:42 And that post like blew up and overnight we got hundreds of thousands of followers
    0:13:44 and blessing and a curse, right?
    0:13:47 Double-edged sword because wow, this is amazing.
    0:13:50 But also like, who are these people and why are they here?
    0:13:57 Jenna is now one of the top female business influencers in the world.
    0:14:01 And to this day, she still shares details of her personal life
    0:14:04 as well as her business tips with her devoted audience.
    0:14:07 There are many ways to experiment when it comes to content creation.
    0:14:11 One of my favorites is a practice that was shared with me by James Algitur,
    0:14:14 a prolific writer and serial entrepreneur.
    0:14:16 And well, it’s a little sexual in nature.
    0:14:24 So let’s let’s dig into this coming up with good ideas or bad ideas,
    0:14:27 I guess, just like this idea creativity.
    0:14:29 We talked about intersections a bit,
    0:14:32 but we didn’t talk about something related, which you call purpose sex.
    0:14:34 Can you talk to us about that?
    0:14:41 Yeah, so, you know, and I also call it idea sex.
    0:14:42 I call it a couple of things.
    0:14:46 And the idea is it’s sort of like that sports and business example
    0:14:50 is that you want to come up with two things that you’re.
    0:14:56 Either interested in or know about and explore what the intersection of those things are.
    0:15:01 So, you know, for instance,
    0:15:08 Apple does this quite a bit, so they were a computer company for 30 years.
    0:15:14 And then suddenly they wanted to combine, oh, let’s combine the radio with computers.
    0:15:17 And the idea sex that resulted was the iPod, the first iPod.
    0:15:22 Oh, let’s combine the iPod with phones.
    0:15:25 And the result was the smartphone, the iPhone.
    0:15:30 Oh, let’s combine computers with this flat surface we’ve been doing with our phones.
    0:15:32 Oh, so now they have the iPad.
    0:15:37 So idea sex could create completely new industries.
    0:15:41 You know, let’s say you’re making a restaurant.
    0:15:45 OK, there’s a million Mexican restaurants on this street.
    0:15:49 But there’s people who might in the next town over, there’s a lot of sushi restaurants.
    0:15:52 So let’s make the Sushi Rito restaurant.
    0:15:56 We’re going to make burritos of raw fish or whatever.
    0:15:57 This might be a bad idea.
    0:16:03 But, you know, you always can combine two concepts to find something creative.
    0:16:07 Let’s say you love guitars and you love history.
    0:16:12 Well, how about looking at the history of the world in terms of the evolution of guitars?
    0:16:18 Because obviously they went from very primitive guitars to all the way up to electric guitars.
    0:16:22 And in a weird way, that describes the history of technology, the history of music,
    0:16:23 the history of civilization, as we know it.
    0:16:28 So idea sex is a very powerful tool when coming up with ideas.
    0:16:33 Yeah. And something else that you have a whole chapter about is called idea calculus.
    0:16:37 And apparently you can, you know, subtract, divide, multiply ideas.
    0:16:39 So I’d love to get an overview of that.
    0:16:42 Yeah. So, for instance, let’s say.
    0:16:47 You know, let’s say you’re you’re.
    0:16:50 Well, let’s say you have a podcast.
    0:16:56 And now you want to let’s what are ways to multiply this podcast?
    0:17:02 Well, by multiplying, it means kind of taking the podcast and scaling it in ways
    0:17:04 that you wouldn’t be able to do individually.
    0:17:08 So you could start a podcast network, for instance, and you bring on other podcasts
    0:17:12 and your job is now to place the ads and you get a cut of all those ads.
    0:17:16 So now you not only have the business of your podcast, but you have this network
    0:17:19 where you already were placing ads on your podcast.
    0:17:23 But now you get to spread around to more podcasts and place those ads.
    0:17:26 You’ve now multiplied your podcast.
    0:17:30 Or here’s another way you do your podcast and you release it on all the platforms
    0:17:36 like Spotify, Apple, iHeartRadio, Sirius and on and on.
    0:17:40 But what about putting your podcast on TikTok or YouTube?
    0:17:41 Or guess what?
    0:17:45 If you upload your podcast to Amazon Prime, your video version
    0:17:49 of your podcast to Amazon Prime, it would actually become an Apple Prime TV show.
    0:17:52 And it’ll be right next to all the other Apple Prime TV shows when you search
    0:17:55 for your podcast, most people don’t realize that.
    0:17:57 So there’s all sorts of things you can do.
    0:18:03 A with experimenting and B with this idea of manipulating, you know, the math of ideas.
    0:18:07 So idea subtraction.
    0:18:10 I’m forgetting some of the examples I had in the book there.
    0:18:18 But, you know, basically, what if you had your podcast and oh, for TikTok,
    0:18:19 they only allow 60 seconds.
    0:18:24 So let’s take the concept of a podcast, figure out how to do an episode with.
    0:18:27 What’s the most important thing in this episode with James?
    0:18:31 Okay, we’re going to make a TikTok 60 second podcast with James.
    0:18:33 So that’s like idea subtraction.
    0:18:38 So if you take one concept of podcasts and apply all these different ideas to it,
    0:18:46 then you’ll suddenly be everywhere and you’ll have lots of different formats.
    0:18:49 One of them might hit and be super popular.
    0:18:54 But, you know, in order to have luck, and earlier I said success requires luck.
    0:19:01 In order to have luck, you need to basically expand the area of luck in your life.
    0:19:07 So yes, your podcast on Spotify could get lucky and go viral.
    0:19:13 But imagine if you also had a 60 second podcast on TikTok and a show on Amazon
    0:19:19 Prime that you uploaded yourself and a podcast network where you’re just trying
    0:19:22 to make money, but one of the other podcasts becomes huge and viral.
    0:19:26 And suddenly you’re making like great money now with the podcast concept
    0:19:27 by having a podcast network.
    0:19:32 You’ve expanded basically the surface area of your luck.
    0:19:35 And that often results in great success.
    0:19:36 So good.
    0:19:41 And so let’s say we come up with, you know, an idea that we think is great.
    0:19:45 How do we stress test it to make sure that there’s actually people who would
    0:19:47 want this idea from us?
    0:19:51 Very important question because people often say ideas are a dime a dozen.
    0:19:53 Execution is everything.
    0:20:00 And this is just totally not true because in order execution, execution
    0:20:01 doesn’t mean one thing.
    0:20:05 You have to have execution ideas on how to execute.
    0:20:08 There are good execution ideas and bad execution ideas.
    0:20:12 So let’s say you and I came up with a business idea and we said, Oh,
    0:20:12 this is so good.
    0:20:18 We’re going to make, you know, an AI that figures out what everybody
    0:20:19 should order in a restaurant.
    0:20:22 I don’t know, whatever it is, we’re going to raise $2 million.
    0:20:24 We’re going to hire a bunch of programmers.
    0:20:26 We’re going to program this up over the next year.
    0:20:29 And then we’re going to start selling it to restaurants, our new software
    0:20:30 package to restaurants.
    0:20:33 Well, that’s a horrible execution idea.
    0:20:37 How about instead you go, a friend of yours has a restaurant.
    0:20:41 We go to that friend and say, listen, can we go from table to table
    0:20:46 this night and see if we can help everybody with their orders?
    0:20:48 And we’ll see.
    0:20:50 Oh, everybody already had their preferences.
    0:20:53 Even before they got to the restaurant, they knew what they wanted to order.
    0:20:54 So this is a bad idea.
    0:20:59 So we shouldn’t waste a year of our lives and $2 million of people’s money
    0:21:02 and trying to raise the money to do this idea.
    0:21:03 It’s a bad idea.
    0:21:09 So often when you try to break things down and do things manually as quick as
    0:21:13 maybe it might not be the exact product, but you could usually test.
    0:21:14 Do people even want this?
    0:21:18 Do people even, even remotely want this?
    0:21:23 You know, people already, the hard thing about businesses, people already know.
    0:21:25 They’ve already filled up their 24 hours a day.
    0:21:30 You and I and everybody listening, we already have things to do all 24
    0:21:31 hours of the day.
    0:21:35 When you start a new business, that means you’re saying some people are going
    0:21:39 to do something new in part of those 24 hours.
    0:21:44 And that new includes a product that I create or service I invent or whatever.
    0:21:47 And most people don’t want anything new.
    0:21:49 They’re fine with their 24 hours a day.
    0:21:51 I’m fine mostly with my 24 hours a day.
    0:21:55 Do I really want the Apple Vision Pro to change my 24 hours?
    0:21:57 Maybe it’s got to be great though.
    0:22:00 And so most ideas are pretty bad.
    0:22:02 That’s why most ideas are pretty bad and won’t work.
    0:22:06 So it’s good to execute as cheaply and quickly as possible.
    0:22:12 It’s not enough though, just to have a good approach and good ideas when it
    0:22:16 comes to content creation, you need to have the energy to execute them.
    0:22:20 When it comes to growing on social media and getting attention online,
    0:22:24 you’ve got to be ready to receive it and you’ve got to bring the right energy.
    0:22:28 First off, you need to believe in yourself as a person who is worthy of a
    0:22:32 following. And second, you need to be consistent in the vibes that you put off
    0:22:34 and what people can expect from your account.
    0:22:39 Nobody knows this better than TikTok and Instagram influencer Kat Norton,
    0:22:41 AKA MissXL.
    0:22:47 So how soon did things take off for you?
    0:22:48 Like did you go viral right away?
    0:22:50 Did it take months, years?
    0:22:51 Like what was it like for you?
    0:22:54 So the whole thing happened pretty quickly.
    0:22:59 And I do attribute a lot of that to the energetics that happened behind the scene
    0:23:03 where I was able to actually show up fully authentically in what I wanted to
    0:23:08 create and was ready to receive the attention back, where normally I grew up
    0:23:09 with an anxiety disorder.
    0:23:11 I hated having any attention on me.
    0:23:16 Like I had to do a lot of overhauling to get to a spot where I wasn’t going
    0:23:19 to subconsciously limit what was able to come into my field.
    0:23:24 So it was by the fourth video to that DMX song, X Gone Give It To Ya,
    0:23:29 I did the X Lookup function and that one, it was so good.
    0:23:32 That one got a hundred thousand views right away.
    0:23:36 And I was like, oh my gosh, because this at the time was my secret TikTok account
    0:23:38 because I still had a corporate job.
    0:23:40 I wasn’t really sure what I was allowed to do.
    0:23:44 So for me, I wasn’t like, hey, everybody, you know, like my video.
    0:23:48 I just only my mother and my boyfriend knew about this secret account, MissXL.
    0:23:54 So for me, when that video hit, it got shown to all these people I work with.
    0:23:56 It got showed to all these people I know I’m getting all these messages.
    0:23:58 Like, is this you?
    0:24:00 And I’m like, oh, maybe, maybe it’s me.
    0:24:07 And then within three weeks of that, I had my first video go viral on TikTok.
    0:24:11 And next thing you know, I looked down at my phone and within a couple of days,
    0:24:13 I had a hundred thousand followers.
    0:24:16 And that’s where I was like, whoa, now what do I do?
    0:24:19 Because everything was going on in the news, too, at this time.
    0:24:23 This was like June, July of 2020, that TikTok’s getting banned, you know,
    0:24:27 all the things. So I was like, well, I got a hedge my risk out here.
    0:24:29 I’m going to create an Instagram account.
    0:24:32 So I created an Instagram, started posting on there.
    0:24:36 And then within a few months, both accounts had gone viral various times.
    0:24:39 And we had a few hundred thousand followers across the different platforms.
    0:24:42 That’s so amazing.
    0:24:48 Like, it’s so rare to have somebody who just kind of skyrockets on social media right away.
    0:24:52 Why don’t we stick on why you think that happened?
    0:24:55 You just alluded to the fact that you came on with really good energy
    0:24:57 and energy is really magnetic.
    0:24:59 So can you talk to us about the importance of ensuring
    0:25:03 that you have the right type of energy when you go film your videos?
    0:25:06 Absolutely, because it’s one of those things
    0:25:09 where I view content as simply an energy exchange.
    0:25:13 My energy is coming through to you on your phone or vice versa.
    0:25:16 And you are the recipient of that energy, right?
    0:25:20 So my job as a creator is I want my energy through the roof.
    0:25:23 I want it in its heightened, most heightened, sparkly,
    0:25:26 magnetic state because, one, that’s what’s going to stop someone, right?
    0:25:28 Like, think about a bunch of people walking down the street.
    0:25:34 If there is someone that is magnetic and like fully just pure joy and like happiness.
    0:25:37 And that was something I worked on myself to to get myself to that place
    0:25:40 where like that’s the type of person and that’s the type of energy
    0:25:43 where you’re going to stop and be like, whoa, what’s that person doing?
    0:25:45 Like, oh, why do I feel like attracted to them?
    0:25:49 Not in like a sexual way, but in like a, you know, like an energetic way.
    0:25:51 It’s it’s magnetism.
    0:25:55 And that’s something I was learning early on is practices I can do behind the scenes.
    0:25:59 And a lot of that was where the Kundalini yoga came into play doing
    0:26:01 like different yogic technologies and breath work and things
    0:26:05 where my aura would become bigger, my energy would become bigger.
    0:26:07 And that way it would kind of stop you on the phone.
    0:26:11 So whether it was like the polarity of the video, like I’m looking at Excel,
    0:26:15 and a girl dancing at once, what is this or just the energy behind it, right?
    0:26:18 Like if I looked really bored or like I was having a bad time,
    0:26:19 I wouldn’t want to hang out.
    0:26:21 It’s kind of like creating a little room with someone
    0:26:23 when you’re watching a piece of content and you’re like entering their room.
    0:26:25 It’s like, do I want to go in that person’s room?
    0:26:28 Like, you know, you want to make sure the energy is there.
    0:26:31 You’re inviting and you’re actually providing value.
    0:26:34 So that was something too, where I’d spent a lot of time researching
    0:26:37 the tips and tricks, making sure that one, people were learning,
    0:26:40 but two, also that we were having that entertainment factor
    0:26:44 because each video too can bring someone’s energy up or down.
    0:26:47 So if you’re watching dark things that are going to bring down
    0:26:50 your frequency, bring down your vibration, that’s something
    0:26:53 that’s going to create more negative feelings in the body.
    0:26:56 My job is I’m trying to lift that up on the planet, right?
    0:26:57 Like, I want to make you smile.
    0:26:58 I want to make you laugh.
    0:27:01 I want to brighten your day in any possible way that I can.
    0:27:06 So that’s where with my content, I need to make sure that I’m in a good spot
    0:27:13 before I go and actually make that piece, because that energy translates every single time.
    0:27:20 Of course, the tricky thing is figuring out the areas where you can add the most value.
    0:27:25 Somebody like Kat Norton had a clear expertise that she could share her knowledge of Excel.
    0:27:29 But what if you don’t already have such a large storehouse of knowledge
    0:27:34 on a particular topic or subject area, how much time and effort are actually required
    0:27:36 to develop meaningful competence in a field?
    0:27:40 Well, the road to mastery is not as long and hard as you may think,
    0:27:43 and it certainly doesn’t take 10,000 hours.
    0:27:46 Here’s James Altature again, explaining why.
    0:27:54 I want to describe, like, what does it mean to master something and to get good at something?
    0:27:56 Well, a lot of people think you have to be the best in the world
    0:28:00 or you have to be rich and famous at what you’re doing to say that you’ve mastered it.
    0:28:05 So, yes, I’m not a top 10 comedian or a top 10 writer.
    0:28:10 Maybe I like to think I’m a top 10 writer, a top 10 chess player.
    0:28:13 But I do think and I think that’s very hard to do.
    0:28:16 That’s where the whole 10,000 hours or whatever comes in.
    0:28:21 But I do think I am whatever I like to pursue.
    0:28:24 I like to think that I get into the top 1%.
    0:28:27 So I’ll just use chess as an example.
    0:28:30 There’s 600 million people around the world who know the rules to chess.
    0:28:34 Arguably, the top 1% means you have to be in the top 6 million of those.
    0:28:38 Arguably, I’m in the top 1 million of those or even better.
    0:28:43 So, but I consider myself not so good because looking at it from my perspective,
    0:28:45 there’s a lot of people I know who are much better.
    0:28:50 Same things with business, with investing, with everything that I pursued.
    0:28:56 But I do think it’s relatively easy to get into the top 1% of what you pursue.
    0:28:58 And there’s a lot of benefits to that.
    0:29:05 One is every area of life worth pursuing has a strong and fun subculture.
    0:29:08 So you get to experiment being in all these different subcultures.
    0:29:12 There’s like a comedy subculture, a writing subculture, a TV subculture.
    0:29:17 Investing subculture, you get to kind of communicate with different people
    0:29:19 across the spectrum of all your very interests.
    0:29:24 And you get some status in those subcultures if you’re in the top 1%.
    0:29:26 So I think it is relatively easy.
    0:29:30 And this is what I wrote the book Skip the Line About, is that it’s not like
    0:29:35 cheating, but there are learning techniques you can use to be in the top 1%.
    0:29:36 Let’s say you’re interested in cooking.
    0:29:40 To be in the top 1% of cooking, I mean, a billion people around the world
    0:29:41 or more know how to cook.
    0:29:45 To be in the top 1% means to be in the top 10 million of those.
    0:29:47 That’s very easy to do.
    0:29:48 It’s not trivial.
    0:29:53 You have to work at it, but there are, if you just use these methods, you can do it.
    0:29:55 Just as an example, though.
    0:30:01 So this is a photo I have and I’ll put the mic down a little bit, but.
    0:30:06 So this was a common, this was inside a comedy club I owned, where I also had
    0:30:10 my podcast studio and just going around, this is me.
    0:30:14 This is I invited a bunch of friends to see a podcast I was doing.
    0:30:16 This is Jim Norton, who’s a famous comedian.
    0:30:18 He just had a Netflix special.
    0:30:21 This is the JZA from the Wu Tang Clan.
    0:30:26 So I did all the Wu Tang Clan’s websites in the 90s, and he often does that.
    0:30:30 Here’s Gary Kasparov, who’s the greatest chess player who ever lived.
    0:30:36 Here’s Maria Kanakova, who’s written a bunch of books about being a professional poker player.
    0:30:41 So in general, you meet lots of interesting people when you get in
    0:30:44 the top 1% of lots of different interests.
    0:30:45 Totally.
    0:30:50 And like I said, this book, Skip the Line, gives so many great gems for
    0:30:55 entrepreneurs of how they can skip this line and get to the top 1% of their field.
    0:31:00 And one of the first things that you talk about is you debunk the 10,000 hour rule.
    0:31:03 Now, all of us listening to this podcast, you’ve probably heard this
    0:31:04 rule a million times.
    0:31:06 It’s from Malcolm Gladwell.
    0:31:10 But for those of us who maybe don’t know about it, what is the 10,000 hour rule
    0:31:11 and why don’t you like it?
    0:31:12 Sure.
    0:31:15 10,000 hour rule is this idea.
    0:31:18 It originally comes from this guy, Anders Erickson, who was a professor
    0:31:20 who did all the research for it.
    0:31:24 And basically he says, with 10,000 hours of what he calls deliberate practice,
    0:31:28 you could be the best among the best in the world at anything.
    0:31:31 And he describes like how the Beatles had their 10,000 hours
    0:31:33 and he describes various experiments.
    0:31:35 He done Malcolm Gladwell wrote about this afterwards.
    0:31:39 And Anders Erickson wrote a book called Peak that I highly recommend.
    0:31:45 But my view is, is that he’s just so deliberate practice means do something
    0:31:48 and then study it like, what did you do wrong?
    0:31:52 And then repeat, do, study, repeat, do, study, repeat.
    0:31:53 And you just do that for 10,000 hours.
    0:31:57 So that’s really good for repetitive tasks, like maybe a golf swing
    0:32:02 or memorizing lists of numbers or, you know, very repetitive.
    0:32:05 To some extent music, musical performance.
    0:32:07 Not that you perform the same way every time.
    0:32:10 But if you’re playing the piano, you play the same notes
    0:32:12 for the Moonlight Sonata every single time.
    0:32:13 You don’t change.
    0:32:16 So that’s the 10,000 hour rule.
    0:32:21 But I much prefer what I, I call the 10,000 experiments rule,
    0:32:23 but it’s really more like 100 or 200 experiments.
    0:32:28 And the whole point is, is that you should try to think of ways
    0:32:31 almost every day to experiment in your life.
    0:32:36 You know, I mentioned one, which was the, you know, running for president.
    0:32:41 I, can anyone, the question was, can anyone run for president?
    0:32:43 The theory was yes.
    0:32:46 And the proof is, is that I was able to do it.
    0:32:48 So that’s like a scientific experiment.
    0:32:51 You have, you’re curious about something, you come up with a theory
    0:32:52 and then you test that theory.
    0:32:56 So another, you know, all the time I’m doing experiments,
    0:32:59 when I was doing comedy, I would, I would experiment all the time
    0:33:03 on the stage, different things I can do to get people to laugh.
    0:33:07 In, in business, you want to be able to experiment.
    0:33:09 Well, you know, a lot of times you go into business,
    0:33:11 you think you’re going to make money a certain way.
    0:33:15 But what if we, you know, charged as a service instead of as a product
    0:33:18 or as a product instead of a service, there’s all sorts of things
    0:33:22 you can do to experiment in business to find the right combination
    0:33:24 of things that will make you a lot of money.
    0:33:31 So, so I view experiments as a really valuable, a quick and valuable way
    0:33:35 to learn incredible amounts of information relatively quickly.
    0:33:41 It’s so true what James had to say about mastery.
    0:33:43 And again, the importance of experimentation.
    0:33:48 You may not have to spend 10,000 hours to become a content expert,
    0:33:51 but you do need to spend some serious time experimenting
    0:33:53 with different ideas to figure out what actually works.
    0:33:57 Of course, it’s one thing to be an expert and it’s a whole other thing
    0:34:00 to know how to deliver that expertise to your potential audience.
    0:34:05 Kat Norton went viral not just because she could provide useful Excel tips,
    0:34:09 but also because she figured out how to get her audience attention and keep it.
    0:34:11 And this is where good marketing comes in.
    0:34:14 Kelly Roach, the world-class performance coach,
    0:34:17 changed my whole approach to marketing when she shared with me
    0:34:20 her framework for building a conviction-based content brand.
    0:34:27 Let’s move into your pyramid, if you wouldn’t mind,
    0:34:29 because I feel like it’s a good place to talk about it.
    0:34:33 So your pyramid is made up of three levels.
    0:34:36 The first level is how-to marketing and then it’s hope marketing
    0:34:38 and conviction marketing.
    0:34:41 So from my understanding, the how-to marketing is really the foundational
    0:34:44 piece that you got to start with to command credibility and authority.
    0:34:48 Talk to us about this how-to marketing and how to do it effectively.
    0:34:49 Yeah, absolutely.
    0:34:52 So how-to marketing is the most basic element of marketing.
    0:34:55 And it’s typically the way that people enter your ecosystem.
    0:34:59 It’s simple, it’s easy to do, anyone can do it, costs you nothing.
    0:35:04 Record a quick video on your iPhone, pop it on your stories, pop it on your page,
    0:35:06 share it across different profiles of film.
    0:35:07 You’re doing how-to marketing.
    0:35:09 This is literally a transfer of knowledge.
    0:35:13 It’s where I’m showing you, “Hey, Hala, I know how to do something
    0:35:15 that I know that you’re interested in doing.
    0:35:17 I’m going to be your teacher.”
    0:35:19 So all of a sudden, Hala watches my video.
    0:35:21 She spent two minutes with me.
    0:35:22 She’s like, “Damn, I like this girl.
    0:35:24 She just taught me how to do something I didn’t know how to do.”
    0:35:26 All of a sudden, she’s like, “Cool.
    0:35:27 Okay, this is someone that I like.
    0:35:28 This is someone I trust.”
    0:35:29 You know, whatever the case.
    0:35:33 So how-to marketing serves a really important purpose because when people
    0:35:37 are scanning the airwaves and when they’re looking for new accounts to follow
    0:35:40 and they’re looking for new people to learn from, they want quick, digestible
    0:35:42 incentives, right?
    0:35:44 Okay.
    0:35:46 The problem is that’s where most people stop.
    0:35:47 Yeah.
    0:35:52 Now, the problem with this is just like people are scanning the airwaves,
    0:35:57 looking for a quick, easy, actionable tip, they’re doing that all day, every day.
    0:35:58 It’s called escape is right.
    0:36:00 SOV will go online and scroll and scroll and scroll.
    0:36:01 It’s escape is up.
    0:36:04 So it’s kind of like, you got the girl, she said, “Yes, to the date.”
    0:36:06 And now you’re like, “Cool, I already had a date with that girl.”
    0:36:07 Let me see.
    0:36:09 Oh, she’s really tuned over there, right?
    0:36:10 And then someone, right?
    0:36:16 So the problem with how-to marketing is it’s a great way to get people in your
    0:36:16 ecosystem.
    0:36:20 It’s not a great way to keep that in your ego.
    0:36:23 And we have to remember, what’s the purpose of marketing?
    0:36:28 The purpose of marketing is to attract so that you can nurture and finally
    0:36:31 convert people into paying customers.
    0:36:36 Well, if you miss this middle section of nurture, they never make it
    0:36:37 over here to conversion.
    0:36:39 And that’s what’s happening to a lot of marketers.
    0:36:42 They pump out this how-to marketing.
    0:36:45 And this is, you know, a lot of people are doing their pointing and their
    0:36:48 dancing and, you know, their lip-syncing and all of those things.
    0:36:49 And that’s fine.
    0:36:55 Do you have a way to then bring them through that process and finally get
    0:36:56 them to convert?
    0:36:56 Okay.
    0:36:58 So how to get some in?
    0:36:59 It doesn’t keep them there.
    0:37:04 We want you to not just do how-to, but we want to elevate from, “Okay, I see you
    0:37:05 as a credible teacher.
    0:37:07 I see you as an authority.
    0:37:07 Wonderful.
    0:37:09 Now let’s elevate.
    0:37:12 Let’s figure out how are we going to get people to keep coming
    0:37:16 back?” Well, if you notice, in the conversation that we’re having here
    0:37:20 today, Hala, we talked a lot about stories, right?
    0:37:24 We talked a lot about experiences that I had experiences that you had ways
    0:37:26 that we resonate with each other.
    0:37:27 We talked about failure.
    0:37:28 We talked about setbacks.
    0:37:31 We talked about patience and sacrifice.
    0:37:32 What did we just do?
    0:37:35 Bring out emotion.
    0:37:36 Exactly.
    0:37:41 So the people that are experiencing this show are going to say, “You know what?
    0:37:43 I’ve only been working at that goal for a year.
    0:37:45 I think I can keep going.”
    0:37:46 Kelly kept going.
    0:37:47 Hala kept going.
    0:37:49 They both won these wildly successful companies now.
    0:37:53 Maybe there’s nothing wrong with me that I wasn’t overnight success in six
    0:37:53 months.
    0:37:57 Maybe if I stick with it, I am going to achieve my goals after all.
    0:37:58 Okay.
    0:37:59 Now we’re on to something.
    0:38:03 Hey, and this is why, of course, podcasting is so powerful.
    0:38:07 It’s such an amazing medium for hope marketing.
    0:38:10 So hope marketing is the biggest chunk of your period.
    0:38:15 And this is where you really connect with your audience in an emotional and a
    0:38:19 sensitive way where people are like, “You’re not just a teacher.
    0:38:20 You’re not just an authority figure.
    0:38:21 You are my friend.
    0:38:23 You are my confidant.
    0:38:24 You are my cheerleader.
    0:38:26 You are the person that has been in my shoes.
    0:38:29 You understand everything that I’ve gone through.
    0:38:31 You understand everything I’m going through now.”
    0:38:33 And you cross the bridge to the other side.
    0:38:38 So hope marketing is really about reaching down, grabbing your audience
    0:38:41 and like wrapping your arms around them and saying, “No, you’re not quitting.
    0:38:43 You’re coming with me on this journey.
    0:38:45 I’m going to support you every step of the way.
    0:38:46 I’ve been there.
    0:38:47 You can get there too.”
    0:38:50 And hope marketing is really what’s going to keep people coming back.
    0:38:53 I call it like the neatness factor of your brand.
    0:38:59 It’s the thing that really makes people feel deeply connected to you as a person,
    0:39:04 not just as a marketer that can give instruction, but as a human being that
    0:39:08 has feelings that has emotion that’s been through something, right?
    0:39:09 Does that make sense?
    0:39:12 Oh my gosh, totally makes sense.
    0:39:13 And I can attest to this.
    0:39:17 I mean, when I go on a podcast, for example, and share my story, that’s when I get
    0:39:21 all these people like, you know, hitting me up, asking to do business with me
    0:39:24 and things like that, because they feel so emotionally connected.
    0:39:27 They could see any sort of PowerPoint slides about my results or whatever,
    0:39:29 but that wouldn’t seal the deal.
    0:39:32 It’s about liking the person and feeling connected with the person that you want
    0:39:34 to work with, which is so key.
    0:39:38 So what are some other actionable ways that we can bring this emotion to our
    0:39:44 branding, aside from the obvious ones, which is like social media posts and, you
    0:39:46 know, having a podcast where you tell your personal stories.
    0:39:47 Absolutely, you can do it with any say.
    0:39:50 I mean, you can tell stories.
    0:39:54 I mean, for me, a lot of times, even when I do like Instagram stories or Facebook
    0:39:58 stories, like I’m literally just giving like encouragement.
    0:39:59 It’s encouragement.
    0:40:02 It’s, it’s, you know, it’s sharing mistakes.
    0:40:04 It’s sharing setbacks that you work through.
    0:40:08 Um, I think one of the things that’s most endearing when you’re a teacher that,
    0:40:13 you know, wants people to want to work with you is not when you just show
    0:40:16 your highlight reel of all of your greatness and all of your wonderful
    0:40:20 accomplishments, but instead when you say, listen, I felt at this and I felt at
    0:40:22 this and I felt at this and this is what I learned from it.
    0:40:23 And this is who I became.
    0:40:25 And this is why I’m successful today.
    0:40:28 And these are all the things that you can skip over that you don’t have to go
    0:40:30 through because I did and I’m going to tell you what to do instead.
    0:40:33 So I think it can be in podcasts.
    0:40:35 It can be in, in live streams.
    0:40:36 It can be in videos.
    0:40:37 It can be in emails.
    0:40:39 It can be in posts on social media stories.
    0:40:40 Right.
    0:40:41 It can be from the stage.
    0:40:45 It can be from behind the microphone anywhere that you connect with your audience.
    0:40:47 It can be in a, in a book, right?
    0:40:51 And, and, you know, in a book any way you want.
    0:40:56 But the bottom line is it’s going from transaction, which is not emotional.
    0:41:03 And it doesn’t have staying power to relational, which is what once creates
    0:41:07 that desire, that stickiness factor in the brand for people to want to stay with you.
    0:41:09 Yeah.
    0:41:13 And then I think there’s another mistake that people make in all this is just
    0:41:18 focusing on hope marketing alone and not doing any of the informational how-to
    0:41:18 stuff.
    0:41:19 So talk to us about.
    0:41:20 Amen.
    0:41:21 And I’ll, yeah, yeah.
    0:41:23 All the time.
    0:41:27 And, well, and that’s why I wanted to actually give the illustration and the
    0:41:32 outsourciples in the book about the pyramid, because it’s not about swinging the
    0:41:34 pendulum from one side to the other.
    0:41:38 It’s about understanding how these things work together, right?
    0:41:42 There’s so many people that it’s like their entire brand is just fluff.
    0:41:44 And it’s like, what do you even do?
    0:41:48 Like, why are we even like, get out of my seat?
    0:41:49 Like, why are you even here?
    0:41:50 Like, what is this?
    0:41:55 I don’t understand what the context of this soft, like, just fluff is all the time.
    0:41:57 So I agree with you.
    0:42:00 Like, there has to be an intelligence to your brand.
    0:42:02 Like, what is it that you teach?
    0:42:03 What is it that you do?
    0:42:08 There’s a lot of people that go so deep in the wrong direction that literally you
    0:42:11 don’t even know what their business is, right?
    0:42:17 If I go to your social media and I don’t even understand what your offer is, what
    0:42:20 your business is, what it is that you do, like, that’s a problem.
    0:42:21 Right.
    0:42:26 So again, the pyramid is about, you know, think about it like Maslow’s
    0:42:27 hierarchy of needs, right?
    0:42:29 Like, you work your way through the pyramid.
    0:42:32 You don’t say, oh, I’m going to pull out this one piece of the pyramid.
    0:42:34 And that’s going to make me happy and fulfilled.
    0:42:35 No, right?
    0:42:37 Each of the pieces of the pyramid go together.
    0:42:38 So I’m really happy.
    0:42:41 Totally.
    0:42:44 One more thing about how to marketing that I think is important.
    0:42:48 If you’re going to do how to marketing, isn’t it true that you should really
    0:42:53 focus on a couple things and not just do, like, how tos about everything in your
    0:42:56 industry because then nobody’s going to know what you’re really about?
    0:42:57 Thank you for bringing that up.
    0:43:00 I mean, this goes back to what we were talking about, you know, at the
    0:43:05 beginning of the show where this lack of patience is the number one saboteur or
    0:43:06 small business owners.
    0:43:12 I mean, I see so many businesses that one day they’re marketing this and then
    0:43:16 the next day you see them marketing something that has nothing to do with
    0:43:21 that other thing and you’re like, you know, you’re expert of nothing.
    0:43:23 You’re literally expert of nothing.
    0:43:27 The more that you keep changing your messaging over and over and over.
    0:43:30 And I will talk about this also with the conviction, the top of the pyramid,
    0:43:34 but you keep changing what you’re talking about all the time and you’re doing
    0:43:38 how to marketing on things that have nothing to do with the core anchors of
    0:43:39 your brand.
    0:43:43 Of course, that’s going to create a confused mind and a confused mind always
    0:43:45 says, no, right.
    0:43:46 Yes, so that’s a great point.
    0:43:49 I totally agree.
    0:43:51 She is dropping bombs right now.
    0:43:54 I would advise everybody to go rewind that part back and now we’re going to
    0:43:57 move to the top level of the pyramid, which is like the elite level.
    0:44:03 You can’t get to it until you finish steps one and two, how to and hope.
    0:44:07 And then you can be, you know, top of your field if you can get conviction marketing.
    0:44:14 Kelly Roach emphasized the importance of emotion when it comes to creating
    0:44:16 content that resonates with an audience.
    0:44:20 Now, not every part of your content is going to evoke an emotional reaction,
    0:44:22 and that’s totally okay.
    0:44:26 The key is to find those moments that naturally hold an emotional pull.
    0:44:30 This might be a story about a challenge you faced, a moment of vulnerability,
    0:44:32 or even a small victory.
    0:44:36 At YAP, some of our best performing clips are the ones that highlight these
    0:44:39 emotionally charged moments, whether I share or my guest shares something
    0:44:41 deeply personal.
    0:44:44 These are moments that stick with people and prompt them to engage.
    0:44:49 So how can we get better at identifying these key emotional moments in our content?
    0:44:54 Well, you can start by looking for universal human experiences within your content.
    0:44:57 The challenges, the personal victories, the authentic struggles.
    0:45:02 Sometimes it’s not even the words themselves, but the way that these words are expressed.
    0:45:06 A genuine laugh, a reflective pause, a sigh, a tear.
    0:45:10 These seemingly small cues can carry a lot of emotional weight.
    0:45:14 They’re signals to your audience that they’re witnessing something real.
    0:45:18 One exercise to help identify these moments is to watch your content without sound or
    0:45:21 read the transcript without any preconceived notions.
    0:45:24 Look for parts that convey genuine emotion.
    0:45:28 Pay attention to body language, facial expressions, or tone shifts.
    0:45:33 These are often the unscripted, real moments that connect most deeply with your audience.
    0:45:39 At YAP, emotional moments are at the heart of our content.
    0:45:42 An opus clip helps us bring these moments to life.
    0:45:47 It’s like having a smart assistant that finds the parts of our episodes that truly stand out.
    0:45:53 Using AI, opus clip analyzes our podcast episodes, detect shifts in tone, language,
    0:45:56 and expression that signal high emotional impact.
    0:46:01 This allows us to uncover these golden clips without spending hours and hours scrubbing
    0:46:02 through our footage.
    0:46:07 For example, when a guest is sharing a story about a tough time or a major win,
    0:46:11 opus clip helps us capture that moment in a way that translates immediately.
    0:46:15 This has saved us so much time and allows us to focus on what we do best,
    0:46:17 creating meaningful content.
    0:46:22 If you’ve got lots of footage but limited time, consider using opus clip or similar
    0:46:26 tools to help identify and share these emotionally resonant moments.
    0:46:29 Instead of manually combing through hours of footage,
    0:46:33 you’ll let AI do all the heavy lifting, ensuring that your most impactful moments get
    0:46:34 the attention they deserve.
    0:46:42 Alright guys, we’re almost at the end of another Yap Creator episode.
    0:46:46 So far we’ve talked about how experimentation, energy, and the right tools can help you
    0:46:51 establish your expertise and launch yourself as a content creator and online presence.
    0:46:54 But I wanted to leave you on an even higher note,
    0:46:58 which I hope will light a fire under you to get started, and here it is.
    0:47:03 You’re living at one of the best moments in history to be an entrepreneur and a content creator.
    0:47:07 New technologies and platforms have completely democratized content creation
    0:47:12 and distribution as never before, allowing individuals and small businesses to build
    0:47:16 powerful online presences and without a massive corporate budget.
    0:47:20 Well, I’ll get off my soapbox and let Gary V take it from here.
    0:47:25 So short question before we close this out.
    0:47:30 In terms of entrepreneurs and your marketing advertising framework,
    0:47:35 your day trading attention, how can they use this to compete with the big dogs,
    0:47:37 the Fortune 500 companies?
    0:47:38 It’s the first time we can.
    0:47:43 You know, because for the first time ever, the creative is the variable of the reach,
    0:47:47 and that’s marketing jargon, so let me say it again.
    0:47:52 For the first time ever, how good your picture or video is can lead to millions of people seeing
    0:47:53 it that never existed before.
    0:47:57 In the history of time, you’d have to be on television.
    0:48:01 We’re on the biggest magazine or newspaper to ever get a million people in America
    0:48:04 or the world to know anything, and you’d have to spend millions of dollars for that.
    0:48:08 Now, every day, we all know every day that happens to somebody.
    0:48:11 Now, what we’ve also learned is just because you go viral once,
    0:48:13 doesn’t mean you’re going to be a billionaire.
    0:48:16 It usually means that you’re going to have this moment that you refer to your whole life
    0:48:20 and you’re actually going to be sad six months later because you weren’t able to capitalize it.
    0:48:21 That goes into being a real entrepreneur.
    0:48:26 But for the first time ever, entrepreneurs, you have a fighting chance.
    0:48:31 Ember Chamberlain’s coffee can compete with Folgers.
    0:48:35 Charlie D’Amelio’s popcorn can compete.
    0:48:38 Logan Paul and KSI’s energy drink is really competing.
    0:48:42 Mr. Beast’s chocolate is really competing, and they’re the preview, not the anomaly.
    0:48:48 I started a wine brand and sold it to Consolation for tens and tens of millions of dollars
    0:48:52 because I made organic content on the internet about wine and then started a wine brand.
    0:48:55 That will be a very normal occurrence for a long time.
    0:49:03 Now, if that doesn’t get you fired up about content creation, I don’t know what will.
    0:49:06 Thanks for joining me for episode four of the Yap Creator Series,
    0:49:10 and I hope you found some useful tips to apply to your own content journey.
    0:49:12 Are you ready to take your content to the next level?
    0:49:18 Opus Clip helped me drastically increase efficiency and video output at Yap Media.
    0:49:22 Finding the best clips for our videos used to be so time consuming and draining,
    0:49:27 but now we leverage Opus Clip and use its AI magic to find all the best clips,
    0:49:31 piece the storyline together, add in the relevant B-roll automatically,
    0:49:33 and Opus Clip does all the hard work for us.
    0:49:39 In fact, we only use Opus Clip for all the short YouTube videos and Instagram reels
    0:49:41 that you see on my page now.
    0:49:45 You can let Opus Clip help you create awesome videos that will drive engagement too.
    0:49:49 Try Opus Clip today at opus.pro/clipanything,
    0:49:51 and thanks to Opus Clip for sponsoring this series.
    0:49:55 Yap Fam, thanks for tuning in to episode four of the Yap Creator Series,
    0:49:57 and I can’t wait for episode five,
    0:50:01 where we continue to unlock the secrets of content creation.
    0:50:15 [Music]

    When Hala started podcasting, everyone told her it was too late to enter the market. But today, she is known as the Podcast Princess. With creativity and great content, anyone can build a powerful brand and make an impact. While the endless opportunities to create and connect can feel overwhelming, there are proven strategies to help you get started and stand out from the crowd. In episode four of the YAPCreator Series presented by OpusClip, Hala shares inspiring stories and bold strategies from top creators like Gary Vaynerchuk, Jenna Kutcher, and Kelly Roach to help you navigate the creator economy and unlock your true potential as a content creator. 

    In this episode, Hala will discuss: 

    (00:00) Introduction

    (02:34) Getting Started with YouTube with Sean Cannell

    (05:09) Self-Discovery and Personal Branding

    (09:16) Jenna Kutcher on Experimentation and Authenticity

    (14:11) James Altucher’s “Idea Sex” for Creativity

    (22:13) Energy and Magnetism in Content Creation

    (26:48) The Impact of Content on Your Vibration

    (27:20) Finding Your Unique Value

    (27:41) Mastery and the 10,000 Hour Rule

    (32:17) The 10,000 Experiments Rule

    (34:42) Kelly Roach’s Conviction Marketing Pyramid

    (45:40) Streamlining Content Creation with OpusClip

    (47:02) GaryVee on The Best Time to Be a Content Creator

    (49:07) Closing Thoughts and Future Episodes

    Try OpusClip for FREE:

    Visit https://www.opus.pro/clipanything 

    Resources Mentioned:

    YAP E278 with Sean Cannell: https://youngandprofiting.co/40GYZCy

    YAP E316 with Kat Norton: https://youngandprofiting.co/40I34q4

    YAP E291 with Gary Vee: https://youngandprofiting.co/41DRxcd

    YAP E295 with Jenna Kutcher: https://youngandprofiting.co/40FzNw6

    YAP E275 with James Altucher: https://youngandprofiting.co/4h2d2bG

    YAP E155 with Kelly Roach: https://youngandprofiting.co/4h1LfrD 

    More About Young and Profiting

    Download Transcripts – youngandprofiting.com/episodes-new 

    Get Sponsorship Deals – youngandprofiting.com/deals

    Leave a Review – ratethispodcast.com/yap

    Watch Videos – youtube.com/c/YoungandProfiting

     

    Follow Hala Taha

    LinkedIn – linkedin.com/in/htaha/

    Instagram – instagram.com/yapwithhala/

    Twitter – twitter.com/yapwithhala

     

    Learn more about YAP Media’s Services – yapmedia.com

  • Matt Abrahams: Spontaneous Speaking for Entrepreneurs, How to Communicate Confidently On the Spot | E330

    AI transcript
    0:00:03 Today’s episode is sponsored in part by Airbnb, OpenPhone,
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    0:00:52 As always, you can find all of our incredible deals
    0:00:56 in the show notes or at youngandprofiting.com/deals.
    0:00:59 People would rather be standing on the precipice
    0:01:03 of a 30-story building covered in snakes and spiders
    0:01:05 rather than giving a presentation.
    0:01:08 Quite frankly, I think the other 15% are lying.
    0:01:10 We can prepare to be spontaneous.
    0:01:12 All communication planned or spontaneous
    0:01:14 needs to be goal-driven.
    0:01:17 How can we get over our nerves when we’re feeling
    0:01:19 especially self-conscious?
    0:01:22 When it comes to managing anxiety, you really have to–
    0:01:26 The single best thing you can do in small talk is just be curious.
    0:01:29 When we’re negotiating or trying to convince even
    0:01:33 our partner of something, how should we communicate?
    0:01:34 First and foremost, we have to–
    0:01:53 Yeah, fam, so what do you think?
    0:01:56 It’s a simple question, but one that a lot of us struggle with,
    0:01:58 especially if you hate being put on the spot,
    0:02:01 whether at work or at Thanksgiving dinner.
    0:02:03 But in today’s business world, the ability
    0:02:07 to speak spontaneously is more crucial than ever.
    0:02:09 Whether you’re navigating a job interview, negotiating
    0:02:13 a deal, pitching an idea, or simply engaging in small talk,
    0:02:15 you need to be able to communicate effectively
    0:02:16 and comfortably.
    0:02:19 To help us master this skill, I’m thrilled to welcome
    0:02:22 Matt Abrahams, a professor at Stanford’s Graduate School
    0:02:23 of Business.
    0:02:26 Matt is the author of the book, “Think Faster, Talk Smarter,”
    0:02:28 the host of the podcast, “Think Fast, Talk Smart,”
    0:02:32 and he’s dedicated his career to helping individuals master
    0:02:34 the art of spontaneous communication.
    0:02:36 So let’s get started and learn how to think faster
    0:02:38 and talk smarter.
    0:02:41 Matt, welcome to Young and Profiting Podcast.
    0:02:43 Hala, I am so excited to be here with you.
    0:02:44 Thank you.
    0:02:47 I am so excited, too, because I’m
    0:02:50 so fascinated by communication and human behavior.
    0:02:52 They’re two of my favorite topics.
    0:02:55 And you are just such an incredible expert in this area.
    0:02:57 So I can’t wait to jump right in.
    0:02:59 We’ve all heard that old statistic
    0:03:02 that most people fear public speaking more than death.
    0:03:06 And that’s just the regular, planned public speaking.
    0:03:08 But it also sounds like, based on your research,
    0:03:12 that many of us also fear impromptu, spontaneous speaking
    0:03:13 even more.
    0:03:17 So just how scary is public speaking and spontaneous speaking
    0:03:18 to the average person?
    0:03:20 And why do you think that’s the case?
    0:03:22 It is really terrifying.
    0:03:25 People would rather be standing on the precipice
    0:03:29 of a 30-story building covered in snakes and spiders
    0:03:31 rather than giving a presentation.
    0:03:34 Up to 85% of people report feeling nervous
    0:03:37 in high-stakes communication situations.
    0:03:40 Quite frankly, I think the other 15% are lying.
    0:03:42 This is something that’s just innate to being human.
    0:03:45 Those of us who study it have found it across all cultures.
    0:03:48 It tends to start around the same time.
    0:03:51 Young teens are when our anxiety around speaking
    0:03:53 in front of others really takes off.
    0:03:54 And you’re right.
    0:03:56 It’s not just planned communication.
    0:03:59 It’s also, in the moment, spontaneous speaking.
    0:04:02 Which, if you think about it, is most of our communication.
    0:04:04 So it’s part of being human.
    0:04:08 We feel threatened by the opportunity
    0:04:10 to be up in front of others.
    0:04:14 Those of us who study it think it has an evolutionary origin to it.
    0:04:16 When our species was evolving,
    0:04:19 we would hang out in groups of about 150 people.
    0:04:23 And your relative status in that group meant everything.
    0:04:25 And when I say status, I don’t just mean
    0:04:26 who’s driving a fancy car,
    0:04:28 who has the most social media following.
    0:04:32 I mean access to resources like food, shelter, reproduction.
    0:04:36 So anything you did that put your status at risk
    0:04:38 would cause anxiety.
    0:04:40 And getting up in front of others was exactly that.
    0:04:45 So it is ubiquitous, yet it is something we can learn to manage.
    0:04:50 But now in modern days, why is spontaneous speaking so important?
    0:04:53 Yeah, well, because things come at us so fast and furiously.
    0:04:54 Think about it.
    0:04:57 We are bombarded with information all the time.
    0:04:59 People are asking us questions.
    0:05:00 People are asking us for feedback.
    0:05:01 We make mistakes.
    0:05:02 We have to correct.
    0:05:03 Things go wrong.
    0:05:04 We have to apologize.
    0:05:07 We’re in a situation where we have to make small talk.
    0:05:10 The interactions that we’re having both in person
    0:05:14 and virtually require us to speak spontaneously
    0:05:16 and to shift very quickly as we do it.
    0:05:22 And do you feel like the internet and things like AI
    0:05:24 and all this technology that’s going on,
    0:05:28 do you feel like that’s hurting our communication skills as younger people?
    0:05:30 I don’t know if I would say hurting.
    0:05:33 It’s definitely changing and challenging it.
    0:05:35 There are more ways to communicate.
    0:05:38 And some of those ways are actually really helpful to us.
    0:05:40 We can be more efficient in our communication.
    0:05:43 We can spend more time with it because of tools
    0:05:46 that help us get messages out more quickly.
    0:05:50 At the same time, we miss the opportunity to connect.
    0:05:54 So I am an optimist when it comes to technology and communication,
    0:05:56 but we do have to adjust and adapt.
    0:05:58 And the big thing we have to remind ourselves
    0:06:01 is in the workforce, we have multiple generations.
    0:06:05 And some of the generations, more likely the younger generations,
    0:06:08 are more comfortable and used to using technology.
    0:06:10 And those of my generation or older aren’t.
    0:06:12 So we’re in this transition phase,
    0:06:15 and we all just have to remember that we’re all learning
    0:06:17 and we learn at a different pace.
    0:06:20 But I do think technology can help us communicate.
    0:06:22 We just have to leverage it appropriately.
    0:06:27 Do you feel like older generations like Boomers and maybe Gen X,
    0:06:31 that they’re better at spontaneous communication?
    0:06:34 Or do you feel like it’s the same across the board?
    0:06:36 The need to communicate spontaneous, I think, is the same.
    0:06:40 I actually think that all generations struggle,
    0:06:42 but for different reasons.
    0:06:44 Younger generations, in my observation,
    0:06:46 tend to struggle with the connection piece.
    0:06:49 A lot of spontaneous communication is about connection.
    0:06:53 Older generations, my generation, and even older,
    0:06:56 tend to struggle with the speed of communication.
    0:06:59 Because a lot of spontaneous speaking happens immediately,
    0:07:01 and it happens quickly.
    0:07:03 So I think everybody struggles a little bit,
    0:07:05 but the reasons they struggle differ
    0:07:07 based on just their experience
    0:07:09 and how they grew up communicating.
    0:07:12 That all said, we can learn to do this better.
    0:07:14 Yeah, I was just going to say,
    0:07:16 this is something we can actually improve.
    0:07:18 It’s not this just natural born skill,
    0:07:20 and you have it or you don’t.
    0:07:23 Can you share the story of how you got better
    0:07:25 at spontaneous speaking?
    0:07:26 It’s a confluence of several things,
    0:07:30 but it turns out with my last name, Abraham’s AB.
    0:07:33 I always went first through school,
    0:07:37 literally from kindergarten through university.
    0:07:39 I always knew where I sat.
    0:07:42 I always sat front row, closest to the door.
    0:07:44 So whenever the teachers, and I am a teacher,
    0:07:47 and I know it’s just easier to do things alphabetically,
    0:07:49 I would always be called on first.
    0:07:53 So growing up, I just got used to having to speak spontaneously.
    0:07:56 My friends, whose last names were later in the alphabet,
    0:07:57 would always thank me.
    0:07:59 They said, thank you, because you would start,
    0:08:02 and it would give me time to think and plan and prepare.
    0:08:06 So part of my ability to speak better spontaneously,
    0:08:09 and I can certainly improve, as can all of us,
    0:08:10 came from experience.
    0:08:13 Practice and experience is a large part
    0:08:15 of what helps us get better at all communication.
    0:08:17 It’s like an athlete.
    0:08:20 Athletes train to be spontaneous.
    0:08:22 They do a lot of drills, so in the game,
    0:08:24 they can be agile and respond to what happens.
    0:08:26 And we can all do the same thing.
    0:08:30 I either, through good fortune or dumb luck with my last name,
    0:08:32 got a lot of reps early on in life.
    0:08:35 Yeah, to be honest, this is a skill
    0:08:38 that I really, really want to be better at,
    0:08:40 because I feel like, for me specifically,
    0:08:42 it is so important for my job.
    0:08:44 And I always prep for my interviews.
    0:08:45 I go through the books.
    0:08:48 But your book, “Think Faster, Talk Smarter,”
    0:08:51 I’m literally going to go back and take notes
    0:08:53 and try to teach other people and do whatever I can
    0:08:56 to just retain the information as much as I can.
    0:08:58 So I’m really excited to go back
    0:09:01 and literally study it so, so well.
    0:09:03 And I don’t feel that way about a lot of books.
    0:09:05 So “Think Faster, Talk Smarter,” guys,
    0:09:06 I highly recommend it.
    0:09:10 And I think, for my skills,
    0:09:12 I feel like that’s literally the number one area
    0:09:13 I can improve.
    0:09:16 And I’m really good at speaking about marketing
    0:09:19 and podcasting and business and sales
    0:09:21 and all the things that I’m an expert on.
    0:09:24 But I’m always having to talk to AI experts
    0:09:26 and neuroscientists and biohackers
    0:09:29 and people that I know, and they’re geniuses.
    0:09:32 And then I have to be smart in front of them.
    0:09:38 So just thoughts around that in terms of being comfortable
    0:09:39 about what you’re an expert on
    0:09:40 and then talking in situations
    0:09:43 where you’re by far not the expert.
    0:09:46 Absolutely. So first, thank you for the compliment.
    0:09:49 The book was written to really be applicable.
    0:09:51 There are try this parts of the book.
    0:09:53 I think the only way to learn any communication,
    0:09:56 but especially spontaneous communication,
    0:09:57 is by doing it.
    0:10:00 And so I’ve tried to make the book accessible in that way
    0:10:02 and thank you for saying that it was successful,
    0:10:03 at least for you.
    0:10:06 So I’m going to give advice that I give to people
    0:10:08 when I talk about small talk
    0:10:09 because what you’re asking about
    0:10:11 is really touching on the same issue.
    0:10:15 The single best thing you can do in small talk,
    0:10:17 when you’re meeting people you don’t know
    0:10:20 or you don’t feel that you are at the same level they are,
    0:10:21 is just be curious.
    0:10:25 We have this pressure we put on ourselves to be interesting.
    0:10:27 And I think what’s most important,
    0:10:29 and I learned this from a guest on my podcast,
    0:10:31 Think Fast Talk Smart, her name is Rachel Greenwald.
    0:10:33 She taught me this notion of the goal
    0:10:35 is to be interested, not interesting.
    0:10:37 So lead with curiosity.
    0:10:40 You don’t have to know everything, but be curious.
    0:10:44 And when you’re curious, others will open up and share.
    0:10:45 And if they’re good at what they do,
    0:10:48 they’ll help make their content accessible to you.
    0:10:50 So we put a lot of pressure on ourselves
    0:10:52 to feel like I need to be the expert.
    0:10:54 I need to ask the best question.
    0:10:56 I need to have the best feedback.
    0:10:59 That’s a tremendous amount of pressure to put on ourselves.
    0:11:01 Instead, we say, hey, I just want to connect.
    0:11:04 And I’m curious about what the other person says.
    0:11:05 That reduces that pressure.
    0:11:08 It makes it easier for the other person to share.
    0:11:13 So my mother-in-law had a black belt in small talk.
    0:11:14 She was amazing.
    0:11:17 And her secret was three words, tell me more.
    0:11:22 So just expressing curiosity, I think Hala will help you now.
    0:11:23 You need to do your research.
    0:11:26 You need to understand the domain that the person’s in.
    0:11:29 But just getting the person talking, demonstrating interest,
    0:11:33 being curious, allowing them space to respond.
    0:11:36 That’s the best way, I think, to get conversation going
    0:11:39 and to elevate your knowledge level
    0:11:41 and appropriateness of what you’re saying.
    0:11:45 Related to this and something that I loved learning about in your book
    0:11:51 was your advice to be mediocre, to not be afraid to be so dull.
    0:11:53 And this is my biggest fear.
    0:11:56 I won’t say anything if I feel like it’s not useful.
    0:11:57 I’ll just move on to the next thing.
    0:12:02 So I’d love to just hear your perspective on how can we be more mediocre.
    0:12:06 To prepare for this work I did that ultimately ended up in the book,
    0:12:09 I did a lot of research across many academic domain,
    0:12:14 psychology, anthropology, sociology, communication, neuroscience,
    0:12:16 and improvisation.
    0:12:21 And improv has just amazing insights into communication,
    0:12:23 especially spontaneous communication.
    0:12:27 And in improv, they have this notion of dare to be dull.
    0:12:32 In other words, the goal in improv is not to be an amazing star
    0:12:33 with everything you say.
    0:12:37 Instead, the job is to just get things going,
    0:12:39 keep things moving along.
    0:12:43 And sometimes the best way to do that is just to do it, be dull.
    0:12:48 So I’ve transformed that into what I call maximize your mediocrity.
    0:12:52 And I teach at Stanford, I teach Stanford Business School students,
    0:12:56 and I start my first class every quarter by saying,
    0:12:59 the goal of this class is to maximize your mediocrity.
    0:13:02 And Hala, you should see these students’ jaws drop.
    0:13:04 They have never been told to be mediocre.
    0:13:08 But the point is this, if you think of your brain like a computer,
    0:13:11 it’s not a perfect analogy, but it works for this.
    0:13:15 If you have a laptop or a phone that has lots of apps or windows open,
    0:13:19 each one of those apps and windows is performing less well
    0:13:20 because the other ones are open.
    0:13:24 You have limited bandwidth, and you’re spreading it thin.
    0:13:28 When I am putting pressure on myself to say the right thing
    0:13:32 in the right way at the right time to be perfect,
    0:13:35 I am actually putting so much pressure on myself.
    0:13:38 I’m using all this bandwidth to judge and evaluate
    0:13:41 and assess my perfection or lack thereof
    0:13:43 that I actually have very little bandwidth
    0:13:44 to actually do the communication.
    0:13:49 So when you give yourself permission to just get it done,
    0:13:52 I like to say it’s about connection, not perfection.
    0:13:56 If I just connect with the person, if I just convey my information,
    0:14:01 I then free up all this bandwidth that allows me to do it really well.
    0:14:04 So I end my very first class by saying,
    0:14:05 I told you to maximize mediocrity,
    0:14:09 and the reason is so you can achieve communication greatness.
    0:14:14 When we remove that pressure from ourselves to be right, to be perfect,
    0:14:19 we actually free up bandwidth to help us get the point across and do it well.
    0:14:20 And I’ll just say one more thing.
    0:14:25 This is why memorizing is the enemy of communication success.
    0:14:27 And I know for many people, they’re like, “Wait, wait, wait, wait.
    0:14:28 If I don’t memorize, I’m lost.”
    0:14:32 No, memorizing makes it harder to actually communicate
    0:14:35 because part of your brain is constantly assessing,
    0:14:36 “Am I saying what I had memorized?”
    0:14:40 Which only leaves the other part of your brain to actually communicate.
    0:14:42 So it is better to have a roadmap,
    0:14:45 a structure, just bullet points that you are familiar with
    0:14:47 than memorizing word for word.
    0:14:51 So being mediocre is all about changing cognitive bandwidth to be in your favor.
    0:14:55 Let’s hold that thought and take a quick break with our sponsors.
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    0:18:07 Hey app bam, launching my LinkedIn secrets masterclass
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    0:19:41 So in your book, “Think Faster, Talk Smarter,”
    0:19:43 you have a six-step method.
    0:19:46 Could you go over that at a high level for us?
    0:19:47 Absolutely. Let me introduce the method.
    0:19:50 It really divides into M&M, my favorite candies.
    0:19:53 It’s about mindset and messaging.
    0:19:55 The first four steps are all about mindset.
    0:19:57 When it comes to communication in general,
    0:20:00 but specifically spontaneous speaking,
    0:20:01 anxiety looms large.
    0:20:03 We started by talking about that.
    0:20:04 Most people are nervous.
    0:20:07 Most people are really nervous in spontaneous situations.
    0:20:11 So step number one is learning to manage that anxiety.
    0:20:13 Once we’ve managed that anxiety,
    0:20:14 the next thing we have to do
    0:20:17 is we need to do exactly what we talked about.
    0:20:20 Not get in that mindset of, “I have to be perfect.”
    0:20:22 So we have to focus our efforts
    0:20:25 on just getting the idea across.
    0:20:27 It’s about connection, not perfection.
    0:20:30 Third, we have to see these situations
    0:20:32 as opportunities, not threats.
    0:20:35 Many of us see speaking in front of others as a threat,
    0:20:37 and we have to reframe that as an opportunity
    0:20:40 that can really help us to be successful.
    0:20:44 And then the final step of mindset has to do with listening.
    0:20:46 And many people are like, “What? Listening is important?”
    0:20:48 You’re talking about speaking?
    0:20:49 No. You have to listen.
    0:20:52 You have to be able to focus on what is needed in the moment.
    0:20:53 It is critical.
    0:20:55 So we start with anxiety.
    0:20:58 We move to how we focus on connection, not perfection.
    0:21:00 It’s about opportunities, not threats.
    0:21:02 And then it’s about listening.
    0:21:04 Then we transition to messaging.
    0:21:07 The final two steps are about messaging.
    0:21:10 When we communicate, we must leverage structure.
    0:21:12 Many of us just take the audience
    0:21:14 on our journey of our discovery
    0:21:16 of what we want to say as we’re saying it.
    0:21:19 In other words, we ramble, we list, we itemize.
    0:21:23 It’s very hard for others to remember lists of information.
    0:21:27 And then the final step is we have to be concise and clear.
    0:21:30 Many of us say much more than we need to say.
    0:21:32 My mother has this wonderful saying,
    0:21:35 “Tell the time, don’t build the clock.”
    0:21:37 Many of us, when we speak, say more than we need to.
    0:21:41 So the last two steps are about structure and being concise.
    0:21:43 So taken together, that methodology
    0:21:46 can help you feel more comfortable and confident
    0:21:49 in all communication, but especially spontaneous speaking.
    0:21:52 And you don’t have to be an expert in each of those steps.
    0:21:56 Doing any work in any one of those areas will help you.
    0:21:59 So I want to drill down, and since you broke it apart
    0:22:03 in two parts, let’s split it mindset and messaging.
    0:22:05 And I’d love to use a personal example.
    0:22:08 Yesterday, I interviewed Tom Billy.
    0:22:09 Do you know who that is?
    0:22:11 I don’t. Who is Tom?
    0:22:13 He’s this huge podcaster.
    0:22:16 So he’s got this podcast called Impact Theory.
    0:22:17 He’s huge on YouTube.
    0:22:21 He’s probably top 10 podcasters of all time.
    0:22:22 He’s huge.
    0:22:26 And because he was competition,
    0:22:29 my nerves were at a different level.
    0:22:30 I’ve interviewed Matthew McConaughey.
    0:22:33 I’ve interviewed Damon John, Gary Vee.
    0:22:35 All these celebrities, and I wasn’t nervous at all.
    0:22:38 But because he was a podcaster,
    0:22:40 I just kept feeling like he’s judging me.
    0:22:42 And I kept feeling like, oh, he probably thinks
    0:22:44 he’s better than me.
    0:22:49 And even my lips were quivering, and that never happens.
    0:22:53 And I felt like I just wasn’t as present as I’m used to.
    0:22:56 And I really wanted to impress him, right?
    0:22:58 And so I felt like I did a good job.
    0:22:59 I had prepared.
    0:23:02 I feel like he probably didn’t notice,
    0:23:05 but I felt I could have done such a better job.
    0:23:10 For example, I feel literally 100 times more present now
    0:23:12 than I did yesterday in that interview.
    0:23:14 And it’s because I just feel comfortable with you.
    0:23:15 I don’t feel like you’re judging me.
    0:23:17 And so I’m able to be myself.
    0:23:19 And even this morning I woke up.
    0:23:21 The first thing in my mind was, you blew it, you know?
    0:23:24 That’s what I woke up for, that I was like judging myself.
    0:23:26 So I know this speaks to a lot of the things
    0:23:31 that you were just outlining when it comes to mindset.
    0:23:33 So how can we get over our nerves
    0:23:35 when we’re feeling especially self-conscious?
    0:23:39 What could I have done differently in terms of internal dialogue
    0:23:43 or physically like breathing or whatever I should have done?
    0:23:47 One, thank you for being vulnerable and sharing that.
    0:23:49 A lot of people keep that inside.
    0:23:52 And somebody as successful as you and who comes off
    0:23:55 as confident as you do sharing that you get nervous,
    0:23:57 I think is great for people to hear.
    0:23:58 We all get nervous.
    0:24:02 It is the rare person who doesn’t in high-stakes situations.
    0:24:05 And also thank you for feeling comfortable with me.
    0:24:06 That makes me feel really good.
    0:24:09 So when it comes to managing anxiety,
    0:24:11 you really have to take a two-pronged approach.
    0:24:14 You have to manage both symptoms and sources.
    0:24:16 Symptoms are what you physiologically feel.
    0:24:18 You shared some of those.
    0:24:21 And sources are the things that initiate and exacerbate the anxiety.
    0:24:26 So allow me to share a little bit on both sides of that.
    0:24:28 So when you begin to feel nervous,
    0:24:30 your body is responding to threat.
    0:24:31 It’s the fight-or-flight response.
    0:24:34 Everything that goes on for you is what would happen
    0:24:36 if you were being chased by somebody.
    0:24:40 So deep belly breathing is perhaps the best thing you could do.
    0:24:41 And when I say deep belly breathing,
    0:24:43 I mean, filling your lower abdomen,
    0:24:46 if you’ve ever done yoga or meditation or Tai Chi or Chi Gong,
    0:24:48 it’s this deep belly breathing.
    0:24:51 And the important part is it’s the exhalation.
    0:24:54 So I like to joke instead of saying the rule of thumb,
    0:24:57 the rule of lung is you want your exhale
    0:24:59 to be twice as long as your inhale.
    0:25:01 And if you take two or three deep breaths,
    0:25:03 like a three-count in and a six-count out,
    0:25:06 you slow down your autonomic nervous system.
    0:25:07 You’ll be less jittery.
    0:25:09 You’ll speak more slowly.
    0:25:11 You’ll be more present.
    0:25:13 So that’s a great thing to do to start.
    0:25:15 If you’re somebody who shakes,
    0:25:17 you said there was a little quivering going on,
    0:25:17 that’s adrenaline.
    0:25:22 Adrenaline sole purpose is to move you from threat to safety.
    0:25:25 So we want to move, but we want to move with purpose.
    0:25:26 So big broad gestures,
    0:25:28 if you’re standing in front of an audience,
    0:25:29 you want to walk forward.
    0:25:33 Movement in a positive way that supports what you’re saying
    0:25:37 gives that energy a place to go and you will shake less.
    0:25:40 My personal symptom that happens to me,
    0:25:42 I blush and I perspire.
    0:25:43 I turn red and I sweat.
    0:25:46 That’s because your core body temperature is going up.
    0:25:48 Your heart’s beating faster, your body’s tensing.
    0:25:50 It’s like you’re exercising.
    0:25:53 When most of us exercise, we sweat and we perspire.
    0:25:55 So we have to cool ourselves down.
    0:25:57 Before I ever speak,
    0:25:59 before I’m a guest on a show like yours,
    0:26:03 I will always hold something cold in the palms of my hand.
    0:26:05 The palms of your hand control the temperature of your body,
    0:26:07 just like your forehead or the back of your neck.
    0:26:09 We’ve done this on a cold morning.
    0:26:12 If you’ve ever held warm tea or coffee in a mug
    0:26:14 and felt that it warms you up,
    0:26:16 we’re doing the opposite, cooling ourselves down.
    0:26:17 So there are things you can do,
    0:26:19 and there are many other things you can do,
    0:26:20 to reduce the symptoms.
    0:26:23 But we also have to think about sources.
    0:26:27 Sources are the things that initiate and exacerbate anxiety.
    0:26:31 In your case, it sounds like you didn’t want to look foolish.
    0:26:33 You wanted to look your best being.
    0:26:35 You wanted to show up as best as you could.
    0:26:37 That’s a lot of pressure you’re putting on yourself.
    0:26:41 So by removing that goal,
    0:26:43 what’s making you nervous in that situation
    0:26:46 is the goal to come off in the way you wanted to come off.
    0:26:48 A goal is a future state.
    0:26:50 So what’s making you nervous
    0:26:52 is a potential negative future outcome.
    0:26:55 So if we can make ourselves more present oriented,
    0:26:57 by definition, I’m not worried about the future.
    0:27:00 So anything you can do to get more present,
    0:27:02 some ways to get present are to do something physical,
    0:27:05 walk around the building, do some light exercise.
    0:27:07 You could listen to a song or a playlist,
    0:27:10 like athletes do, to get present oriented.
    0:27:14 Start at 100 and count backwards by 17s.
    0:27:16 That gets you present oriented.
    0:27:17 My favorite way to get present oriented
    0:27:19 is to say tongue twisters.
    0:27:21 You can’t say a tongue twister right
    0:27:23 and not be in the present moment,
    0:27:25 plus it warms up your voice.
    0:27:27 So by managing symptoms and sources,
    0:27:29 you can be more present oriented.
    0:27:32 You can be more focused on what’s happening in the moment
    0:27:33 and less nervous.
    0:27:36 So that was a very long-winded answer, I’m sorry.
    0:27:38 But the question is very real,
    0:27:40 and it’s something that most of us can benefit
    0:27:42 by managing our anxiety.
    0:27:43 Yeah, 100%.
    0:27:47 And so I started to get better halfway through the interview.
    0:27:49 And I think one of the things that I was doing
    0:27:51 is in my head, I was repeating,
    0:27:53 you are the podcast princess, Hala.
    0:27:56 He’s here because you have a top 100 podcast.
    0:27:58 You are a great podcaster.
    0:28:00 And I was repeating that stuff.
    0:28:01 You’re the podcast princess, Hala.
    0:28:03 You’re the podcast princess, Hala.
    0:28:04 I love that.
    0:28:05 I have a mantra I use.
    0:28:08 And my mantra is you have value to bring.
    0:28:11 So I remind myself, because I can get negative,
    0:28:12 I can get my thought,
    0:28:15 I’m not prepared, this person I’m talking to is so amazing.
    0:28:17 I just say I have value to bring.
    0:28:20 There’s something that this person has chosen to speak with me,
    0:28:23 be it on a podcast, be it a student asking me a question,
    0:28:26 be it somebody I just randomly meet.
    0:28:27 I have value to bring.
    0:28:30 And that alone cancels out that negative talk.
    0:28:31 So that’s great.
    0:28:33 You found a tool for you, which is,
    0:28:35 it’s called positive affirmation.
    0:28:36 And that seems to work for you.
    0:28:37 That’s great.
    0:28:38 Yeah.
    0:28:42 And how about the fact that I felt so embarrassed afterwards?
    0:28:45 What’s the importance of being kind to yourself
    0:28:47 when it comes to these things?
    0:28:50 Grace is really important in this.
    0:28:52 I think what helps many people is to realize
    0:28:54 that they’re not alone in this,
    0:28:56 that lots of people suffer from this.
    0:28:57 A real quick story.
    0:28:59 The very first book I wrote was called
    0:29:00 Speaking Up Without Freaking Out.
    0:29:02 It’s all about how to manage anxiety.
    0:29:04 I was in San Francisco airport.
    0:29:07 They called my name over the loudspeaker
    0:29:09 because the chair I was supposed to sit in on the airplane
    0:29:11 was broken and they wanted to let me know that.
    0:29:13 I come back and the guy standing next to me said,
    0:29:15 you wrote that book on speaking anxiety.
    0:29:16 I said, yes, have you read it?
    0:29:17 He said, no, but it helped me.
    0:29:19 I was like, you didn’t read the book,
    0:29:20 but it helped you.
    0:29:21 What do you mean?
    0:29:24 And he said, just knowing that a book like that existed,
    0:29:26 helped him normalize his fear.
    0:29:28 He said, I thought I was the only one
    0:29:29 because it might work, everybody’s so good,
    0:29:32 but I realized you didn’t just write the book for me.
    0:29:36 So my point here is you have to give yourself a little grace.
    0:29:40 It is normal and natural in the presence of somebody you admire,
    0:29:43 in the presence of somebody who is very qualified and accomplished,
    0:29:46 to want to do well and to be nervous.
    0:29:48 That makes complete sense.
    0:29:51 So allow yourself that permission to be nervous
    0:29:54 and then remind yourself that you have value to bring,
    0:29:56 that you can do some things in that moment.
    0:30:01 And as you said, your conversation yesterday turned out great.
    0:30:03 He didn’t even know you were nervous.
    0:30:05 So we have to remind ourselves of that.
    0:30:08 The biggest thing that can help here is reflection,
    0:30:10 not rumination, but reflection.
    0:30:13 Reflect now, Hala, on how and what you did
    0:30:14 to get yourself through that.
    0:30:16 So the next time you interview somebody
    0:30:18 where you might feel that way, you remind yourself.
    0:30:21 It is through that reflection that we can change.
    0:30:23 If we don’t take the time to reflect,
    0:30:24 if we don’t give ourselves grace,
    0:30:28 we’re going to fall victim to that same cycle over and over again.
    0:30:31 So congrats on doing it and congrats on feeling a little embarrassed.
    0:30:33 That means that this was important for you.
    0:30:34 Totally.
    0:30:37 And I feel like now that I’ve totally reflected on this,
    0:30:40 like this conversation couldn’t have came at a better time,
    0:30:42 I feel like the next time I interview somebody
    0:30:46 who’s a huge podcaster and I feel like is going to be judging me,
    0:30:48 I can kind of give myself some grace
    0:30:50 and do some of those activities that you mentioned
    0:30:51 to just get myself ready.
    0:30:53 Like, okay, Hala, you are going to feel nervous.
    0:30:56 This is how you’re going to get over it.
    0:31:00 So one of the things that I do when it comes to spontaneous speaking
    0:31:06 that I don’t know is right or wrong is I tend to be comfortable sharing my own stories.
    0:31:11 And I was doing that a lot, especially when I first started podcasting
    0:31:14 to the point where I got some bad reviews,
    0:31:17 where some people were like, Hala, stop talking about yourself.
    0:31:21 And then I got more careful about I’m only going to share stories
    0:31:22 that I don’t share very often.
    0:31:24 And I’m going to share new stories
    0:31:26 and not tell a lot of the same stories
    0:31:29 because my listeners listen to more than one episode, right?
    0:31:33 So what are your feelings about talking about yourself
    0:31:35 when it comes to spontaneous speaking?
    0:31:37 This is a great question
    0:31:40 because you have to find a very delicate balance.
    0:31:44 Those who study communication and conversation
    0:31:49 distinguish between supporting and switching tactics.
    0:31:53 A supporting tactic is where you reinforce
    0:31:55 what the other person is saying.
    0:31:58 And a switching tactic is where you switch to something that you want to say.
    0:32:00 And I’ll link this to your question in just a moment.
    0:32:03 So if we’re having a conversation, Hala, and you say,
    0:32:05 hey, I just got back from Hawaii.
    0:32:07 And I say, oh, which island did you go to?
    0:32:10 That’s a supporting tactic that invites you to say more.
    0:32:14 If I say, oh, I just got back from Costa Rica, that’s a switching tactic.
    0:32:18 You want to balance these out.
    0:32:23 And the research suggests you want to be slightly more supporting than switching
    0:32:25 because that puts the other person
    0:32:27 in the position of you demonstrating interest
    0:32:29 and you wanting to hear what they have to say.
    0:32:34 The same ideas apply to disclosure of our own stories.
    0:32:37 We want to share some, but not too much.
    0:32:39 We should be communicating in a way
    0:32:41 that gets the other person to talk more,
    0:32:44 but we still have to share some of our stories.
    0:32:45 So the rule of thumb that they have
    0:32:48 in this switching versus supporting approach
    0:32:53 is you want two-thirds supporting one-third switching.
    0:32:56 And I think the same idea when it comes to telling stories
    0:32:59 about ourselves or that are very personal to us
    0:33:02 versus soliciting stories and input from other people.
    0:33:04 So I think you shouldn’t tell some
    0:33:06 because if not, it just sounds like you’re interrogating people.
    0:33:08 If you don’t share anything about yourself.
    0:33:11 But if you say too much about yourself, then it becomes almost rude.
    0:33:16 So I like this one-third you talking two-thirds them talking approach.
    0:33:17 Yeah, I feel like that’s good
    0:33:20 because people love to talk about themselves.
    0:33:22 So if you want somebody to like you,
    0:33:24 you actually want them to talk about themselves
    0:33:27 because they’ll feel like it was like a really happy positive experience
    0:33:30 because they got a chance to speak about themselves.
    0:33:32 Absolutely, absolutely.
    0:33:34 And that’s why going into those situations,
    0:33:38 thinking about questions you might want to ask is always a good thing.
    0:33:42 Even if it’s spontaneous, even if I’m going into a party
    0:33:44 or to some kind of conference setting
    0:33:46 where there’s going to be people milling around,
    0:33:47 right before I go in the room,
    0:33:50 I can come up with two or three questions that I’m interested in.
    0:33:53 And that’s how I start because you’re right.
    0:33:54 People like to talk.
    0:33:56 People like to share information about themselves.
    0:33:58 Having those questions at the ready can really help you.
    0:34:00 And when people are talking,
    0:34:03 is there certain things we should be listening for
    0:34:06 and things that can help us keep the conversation going?
    0:34:08 Absolutely.
    0:34:10 So first and foremost, we need to listen better.
    0:34:11 We’re just not good listening.
    0:34:12 We listen for the top line
    0:34:15 and then we begin judging, evaluating, rehearsing.
    0:34:17 You need to focus your listening.
    0:34:19 You need to listen for the bottom line.
    0:34:22 What I teach my students and when I try to do myself
    0:34:23 and when I host my podcast,
    0:34:25 when I just talk to people on the street,
    0:34:27 I try to listen to paraphrase.
    0:34:30 So as somebody’s talking, I’m saying,
    0:34:31 what’s the core essence?
    0:34:32 What’s the bottom line?
    0:34:34 If I had to paraphrase or summarize what they said,
    0:34:36 what would I say?
    0:34:38 And when you listen that way, you listen more deeply.
    0:34:42 So in conversation, I’m listening for the bottom line.
    0:34:44 And that’s where I start my response.
    0:34:47 So I might even comment on what that bottom line is.
    0:34:51 I might say, oh, you’re really curious about this.
    0:34:54 So I name it and then I add to it.
    0:34:55 So we have to listen better.
    0:34:57 We have to listen for the bottom line.
    0:34:58 So as you’re listening to somebody,
    0:35:01 think about if I had to paraphrase what they’re saying,
    0:35:03 what would I say?
    0:35:06 So use that as the starting point
    0:35:07 for what you want to contribute next.
    0:35:10 This reminds me of something that Chris Voss does.
    0:35:11 Do you know who that is?
    0:35:12 Split the difference?
    0:35:14 I can’t remember what the word is.
    0:35:17 Yeah, I just interviewed Chris for my podcast.
    0:35:19 Great guy, really interesting insight.
    0:35:20 Yeah, I’ve interviewed him like five or six times.
    0:35:22 So I should definitely remember
    0:35:24 what I’m talking about right now.
    0:35:26 But basically, I don’t remember what it’s called,
    0:35:30 but you paraphrase what somebody’s saying as a question.
    0:35:33 So then they’ll just say more information.
    0:35:34 He likes to talk about mirroring.
    0:35:37 That’s what it is, yeah, that’s what it is, mirroring.
    0:35:39 And then Charles Duhigg calls this looping.
    0:35:42 It’s this notion of you start with what the person says,
    0:35:44 you loop back to it and then you move forward.
    0:35:47 And they’re both talking about exactly the same thing.
    0:35:49 It’s you recognize what the person has said,
    0:35:52 which validates them, which builds connection and trust.
    0:35:55 But it also gives you a starting point for what comes next.
    0:35:57 Yeah, totally.
    0:36:00 Okay, Matt, so I know this is spontaneous speaking,
    0:36:03 but is there any way that we can actually prepare?
    0:36:07 Because when it comes to wanting to prepare for something,
    0:36:08 if you know the general topic,
    0:36:12 I’m assuming that you can at least prepare a little bit,
    0:36:15 even if you’re trying to talk on the cuff, right?
    0:36:18 Absolutely, Holly, you are right.
    0:36:20 We can prepare to be spontaneous.
    0:36:23 And that sounds counterintuitive, but it really is true.
    0:36:27 One of the key ways to get yourself prepared
    0:36:30 is to become familiar with structure.
    0:36:35 Most of us, when we are nervous and we’re put on the spot,
    0:36:36 we just list and itemize things.
    0:36:39 We just say whatever comes into our mind.
    0:36:41 And that makes it really hard for the audience,
    0:36:44 the person or people we’re talking to, to digest it.
    0:36:47 A structure is a logical connection of ideas,
    0:36:49 a beginning, a middle, and an end.
    0:36:50 Let me give you an example.
    0:36:52 If you’ve ever watched an advertisement,
    0:36:56 you have likely seen the structure problem solution benefit.
    0:37:01 Advertisements start with some issue challenge that exists.
    0:37:03 They then say how their product or service
    0:37:06 fixes that issue or challenge, and then how you benefit.
    0:37:08 So if you’re selling cars, selling medicine,
    0:37:10 selling alcohol, it does not matter.
    0:37:11 They all follow that structure.
    0:37:13 It’s a logical connection of ideas.
    0:37:16 If you are familiar with structure,
    0:37:22 you have a recipe that you can follow for answering questions
    0:37:24 for making small talk, for giving feedback,
    0:37:27 for apologizing, whatever the situation is.
    0:37:28 So if it’s okay with you,
    0:37:29 can I share my favorite structure
    0:37:31 that I think works in a lot of situations?
    0:37:32 Would that be all right?
    0:37:32 Yes, of course.
    0:37:33 Excellent.
    0:37:35 So it’s three simple questions.
    0:37:38 What, so what, now what?
    0:37:41 The what is the information you’re getting across?
    0:37:43 It could be your idea, your product, your update,
    0:37:44 your feedback.
    0:37:47 The so what is why is it important or relevant
    0:37:48 to the person you’re talking to?
    0:37:50 And then the now what is what comes next?
    0:37:52 Maybe it’s, do you have questions for me?
    0:37:54 Let’s go into that other room.
    0:37:55 Let me show you something.
    0:37:56 It’s the next step.
    0:37:58 So let me give you just real quickly
    0:38:00 a couple examples of how this might work.
    0:38:03 Imagine you’re in a meeting and your boss says,
    0:38:05 hey, give me an update on that project you’re working on.
    0:38:07 You hadn’t prepared for an update.
    0:38:08 So you follow this structure.
    0:38:09 You answer the three questions.
    0:38:10 The what is your update?
    0:38:12 Here’s what I’ve done.
    0:38:14 The so what is, here’s why it’s important.
    0:38:16 It matches our goals or expectations.
    0:38:17 And then the now what is,
    0:38:19 here are the three things that I need to have happen
    0:38:21 before I can progress.
    0:38:24 So simply by answering what, so what, now what,
    0:38:27 you’ve given a structured, packaged,
    0:38:29 concise response to the update.
    0:38:31 Similarly, let’s imagine you’re walking out
    0:38:33 of a different meeting and somebody turns to you
    0:38:36 and says, how do you think that meeting went?
    0:38:38 Again, you’re not prepared to get feedback.
    0:38:40 You didn’t know you were going to have to get feedback.
    0:38:42 You simply answer these three questions.
    0:38:44 I might say, I thought the meeting went great,
    0:38:46 except when you talked about the implementation plan.
    0:38:50 You spoke quickly without a lot of detail.
    0:38:51 That’s the what.
    0:38:53 When you speak quickly without a lot of detail,
    0:38:55 people might think you’re nervous or unprepared.
    0:38:56 That’s the so what.
    0:38:59 Next time, slow down and add these two additional bits
    0:39:00 of information.
    0:39:01 That’s the now what.
    0:39:05 So in two very different situations, both spontaneous,
    0:39:08 by just answering those questions, what, so what, now what,
    0:39:11 that structure helps me get through it.
    0:39:12 And it takes pressure off me
    0:39:14 because I don’t have to think about how to say it.
    0:39:15 I know how I’m going to say it.
    0:39:17 I’m just going to answer those questions.
    0:39:19 I just have to think about what those answers are.
    0:39:24 So structure is key and you can prepare and practice structure.
    0:39:27 I challenge all of your listeners, when they are done
    0:39:31 listening to this episode or any of your other awesome episodes,
    0:39:34 at the end, to simply say, what was the key takeaway for me?
    0:39:36 Why was it important and how can I use it?
    0:39:39 And by drilling that, just for 10, 15 seconds,
    0:39:41 you get more used to using this structure
    0:39:43 so it becomes natural to you.
    0:39:46 So structure is a really key ingredient
    0:39:49 to helping with all these situations we’ve been talking about.
    0:39:49 Yeah.
    0:39:52 And when it comes to structure, would you consider storytelling
    0:39:54 and stories to have structure too?
    0:39:58 Structure is just another fancy word for story.
    0:39:59 All stories have a structure, right?
    0:40:01 Beginning, middle, and an end.
    0:40:02 When somebody says, tell more stories,
    0:40:05 or this is about storytelling or narrative,
    0:40:08 what they’re really saying in what I am hearing them say is,
    0:40:09 use a structure.
    0:40:11 Use a structure that engages people.
    0:40:15 So yes, I see those as synonymous and very important.
    0:40:18 And what kind of other structures do you lay out in your book
    0:40:20 or anything else that you want to share about structures?
    0:40:21 Oh, thank you.
    0:40:24 The first part of the book is about the six-step methodology.
    0:40:26 The second part of the book is about six specific
    0:40:29 spontaneous speaking situations.
    0:40:33 And for each one of them, it has a particular structure
    0:40:35 that I like teaching.
    0:40:37 So let me give you an example of one.
    0:40:40 Many of the people listening to your show are entrepreneurs
    0:40:44 or people who have ideas that they want to motivate others by.
    0:40:47 I have a structure that I really like for pitching.
    0:40:50 So this is short persuasion, like an elevator pitch.
    0:40:53 This structure is different from what’s-so-what-now-what.
    0:40:55 This structure is just sentence starters.
    0:40:58 You finish these sentence starters.
    0:41:02 So it’s what if you could sew that, for example,
    0:41:03 and that’s not all.
    0:41:04 If you finish those four sentence starters,
    0:41:06 you have a good pitch.
    0:41:08 So Hala, I’m going to ask you to put me on the spot
    0:41:08 if you’re willing to do this.
    0:41:10 OK, sure.
    0:41:13 Pick a particular product or service that I would know,
    0:41:14 something I know.
    0:41:15 Just give it to me.
    0:41:16 And without any thought,
    0:41:18 I’m going to pitch it just using this structure.
    0:41:20 So if I do my job right,
    0:41:22 I’m going to demonstrate spontaneous speaking.
    0:41:24 So I don’t know what you’re about to say.
    0:41:26 You didn’t know I was going to ask you to do this.
    0:41:27 So we’re both being spontaneous.
    0:41:28 Give me something to pitch,
    0:41:30 a product or service that I would know about.
    0:41:32 A Mac laptop.
    0:41:36 You did that because I had problems with my Mac laptop.
    0:41:42 What if you could easily access all of your information
    0:41:45 in a sleek looking device
    0:41:48 so that you could be prepared
    0:41:51 and have the information you need at your fingertips?
    0:41:56 For example, imagine you are flying from Los Angeles to New York
    0:41:58 and you have to create a presentation
    0:42:00 that you have to deliver when you land.
    0:42:04 Wouldn’t it be great to have a small, compact,
    0:42:06 good looking laptop that you could work on?
    0:42:07 And that’s not all.
    0:42:11 You get access to a whole community of applications
    0:42:14 and users that can be supportive of your efforts.
    0:42:19 So by simply answering those specific problems,
    0:42:22 what if you could so that, for example, and that’s not all,
    0:42:24 you can craft a pitch.
    0:42:26 What if you could gets people’s attention?
    0:42:28 Attention is the most precious commodity
    0:42:30 we have in the world today.
    0:42:31 So that makes it relevant.
    0:42:33 Here’s what’s important for you.
    0:42:35 For example, grounds it in reality.
    0:42:38 We remember detail better than we remember high-level information
    0:42:41 and that’s not all extends and expands
    0:42:44 whatever you’re talking about beyond the moment.
    0:42:46 So just knowing those four sentence starters
    0:42:48 can help you pitch anything in the moment.
    0:42:51 And one of the things that can also help us
    0:42:54 with having our speeches be sticky
    0:42:57 and having people remember what we say is brevity.
    0:43:00 So speaking of Apple, you talk about Steve Jobs
    0:43:04 and he’s got the iPod and he’s got very focused messaging.
    0:43:07 A thousand songs in your pocket is the focused message.
    0:43:12 But how can we come up with our own impromptu brief message?
    0:43:14 What are some tactics for that?
    0:43:17 Yes. So two things beyond having a structure.
    0:43:20 Structure is critical to being more concise.
    0:43:22 Two things. One, you have to think about your audience
    0:43:25 and what’s relevant and most important to them.
    0:43:26 And then focus everything you’re doing
    0:43:30 like a magnet towards that relevance.
    0:43:32 So I am constantly thinking to myself,
    0:43:36 what is most important to my audience in this moment?
    0:43:38 And that’s what helps me focus.
    0:43:42 Second, all communication, planned or spontaneous,
    0:43:43 needs to be goal driven.
    0:43:48 A goal has three parts, information, emotion and action.
    0:43:49 What do I want the audience to know?
    0:43:52 How do I want them to feel and what do I want them to do?
    0:43:54 So before I walk into a conference room
    0:43:57 where I might get questions or be asked for feedback,
    0:43:59 I think what do I want this audience to know?
    0:44:02 How do I want them to feel and what do I want them to do?
    0:44:05 By focusing on relevance and by focusing on your goal,
    0:44:08 you will become more concise and clear.
    0:44:10 And if you can then convey your message
    0:44:12 in a structure like we just talked about,
    0:44:16 that’s how you truly become relevant and focused.
    0:44:19 And it makes sense because in this podcast,
    0:44:20 when we first joined, I was like,
    0:44:22 “Hey, it’s a lot of entrepreneurs.”
    0:44:24 And then you decided out of all examples
    0:44:26 to talk about the pitching example.
    0:44:26 Yes, exactly.
    0:44:30 Because you felt like it would be very relevant for our audience.
    0:44:33 We are getting so meta right now.
    0:44:34 Yes, that’s exactly what I did.
    0:44:35 Yeah.
    0:44:39 We’ll be right back after a quick break from our sponsors.
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    0:46:22 So one of the exercises you suggest
    0:46:24 to help us with focus is called “Abrevity Challenge.”
    0:46:25 Can you tell us about that?
    0:46:29 Yes. So most of us, as I said, say more than we need to do.
    0:46:32 We can actually challenge ourselves
    0:46:35 to say what we’re saying with fewer words.
    0:46:38 This is a game that comes from the world of improvisation
    0:46:40 where you start by saying something
    0:46:43 and then you cut it in half and then you cut it in half again.
    0:46:47 So a great way to do this is to look at something you’ve written,
    0:46:50 maybe even a text or a document or something,
    0:46:55 and challenge yourself to say it in half the number of words.
    0:46:56 How would you do that?
    0:46:59 And again, I’m not saying that whatever the result of that is
    0:47:01 in half number of words is the right way to do it,
    0:47:05 but what we’re training our brain in this brevity example
    0:47:07 is we’re training to prioritize.
    0:47:10 Here’s a great use for AI, by the way.
    0:47:12 If you’ve written something, an email, a document,
    0:47:15 put it in AI and say, “Make it half as long,”
    0:47:17 or highlight just the key elements
    0:47:19 and then look at what it comes out with.
    0:47:21 I’m not saying to leverage what it comes out with,
    0:47:26 but just look at what it has done to make it more concise
    0:47:27 and then use that as a reference point.
    0:47:28 Say, “Oh, you know what it did?
    0:47:30 It cut out all the big words.”
    0:47:31 Or do you know what it did?
    0:47:35 It took all of the action verbs and put them up front.
    0:47:39 So you begin to see how you can prioritize
    0:47:40 and get briefer in what you say.
    0:47:42 So whenever you write something,
    0:47:44 you can always challenge yourself and say,
    0:47:46 “How would I say this in half as long?”
    0:47:47 By training that process,
    0:47:50 you train your brain to do that in real time.
    0:47:54 I know Mark Twain, I think, has this quote,
    0:47:54 “Writing is easy.
    0:47:57 You just got to cross out all the wrong words,”
    0:47:58 or something like that.
    0:47:59 Absolutely.
    0:48:02 He’s got wonderful sayings about communication.
    0:48:04 But right, it’s about self-editing,
    0:48:05 but doing it very quickly.
    0:48:07 And the more you practice it, the better you get at it.
    0:48:09 We are talking about business right now.
    0:48:14 How do we get better at reading the room in business situations?
    0:48:15 Yes, yes.
    0:48:17 So my podcast is “Think Fast, Talk Smart.”
    0:48:19 The book is “Think Faster, Talk Smarter.”
    0:48:22 The “Think Fast” and “Think Faster” part
    0:48:23 are all about pattern recognition.
    0:48:27 And we have to remind ourselves
    0:48:28 that whenever we’re communicating,
    0:48:30 patterns are at play.
    0:48:32 And we have to be looking at those patterns
    0:48:34 and cataloging those patterns.
    0:48:36 Many of us are in repetitive situations.
    0:48:39 We have meetings with the same people over and over,
    0:48:41 or we do similar tasks, like you interview,
    0:48:42 now you interview different people,
    0:48:43 but you’re interviewing,
    0:48:47 and you can begin to look and notice patterns.
    0:48:49 Many of us are just so focused
    0:48:51 on getting through our communication
    0:48:55 that we don’t spend time focusing on the patterns.
    0:48:58 And if we can train ourselves to look at those patterns,
    0:48:59 it helps us read the room.
    0:49:00 That’s what reading the room is.
    0:49:02 It’s pattern recognition.
    0:49:05 So we might notice that 10 minutes
    0:49:08 into most of our meetings, the energy level dips.
    0:49:09 Well, that’s a pattern.
    0:49:11 And I can notice, hey, we’re coming up on 10 minutes.
    0:49:13 Maybe I should do something different.
    0:49:16 So reading the room to me is all about just
    0:49:18 observing what’s going on in the moment
    0:49:20 and then reflecting on it after the fact
    0:49:21 and coming up with a plan
    0:49:24 on how to deal with it in the future.
    0:49:27 So we have to take the time to get a little meta
    0:49:30 in our communication to observe what’s going on
    0:49:31 and then to really reflect
    0:49:33 and then be prepared to adjust and adapt
    0:49:34 when we see those things play out.
    0:49:36 I remember one of the first interviews
    0:49:40 that I ever did on this podcast was with Chase Hughes.
    0:49:43 And he’s a behavioral expert.
    0:49:46 And I remember he told me if people start blinking really fast,
    0:49:48 it means that they’re not paying attention.
    0:49:51 And that if somebody’s blinking normally,
    0:49:52 that means that they’re engaged.
    0:49:54 But if they start blinking really fast,
    0:49:56 it means that they’re not paying attention.
    0:49:59 And of course, if they’re looking around at their shoes
    0:50:00 or like at the door or something like that–
    0:50:02 Well, Hala, I’m now going to just–
    0:50:04 I’m just going to stare the whole time
    0:50:05 so you think I’m paying attention to it.
    0:50:06 Yes, now you’re right.
    0:50:07 But you have to observe that.
    0:50:10 You have to notice that, right, in order to act on it.
    0:50:11 Yeah.
    0:50:13 How about when we’re negotiating?
    0:50:16 I know that’s a big thing also for entrepreneurs.
    0:50:19 When we’re negotiating or trying to convince
    0:50:22 even our partner of something, how should we communicate?
    0:50:25 Oh, this is a big topic.
    0:50:27 I think Fast Talk Smart is all about communication tips.
    0:50:29 And we spent a lot of time talking about negotiation.
    0:50:32 So I’ve talked to lots of experts, as I know you have.
    0:50:33 Let me summarize a couple of things
    0:50:36 that I’ve taken away from all of my interviews.
    0:50:39 First and foremost, we have to know what we want.
    0:50:40 What is it that we want and what is it
    0:50:44 that we’re willing to give up in our non-negotiables?
    0:50:46 Many of us enter into negotiations
    0:50:49 without a clear what’s our non-negotiable.
    0:50:50 And where can we negotiate?
    0:50:51 That’s number one.
    0:50:54 Number two, we have to take the time
    0:50:56 to think about the other person’s position.
    0:51:01 How much do they prioritize what it is we’re negotiating over?
    0:51:05 We have this assumption that we make that everybody
    0:51:08 that we’re dealing with holds whatever they hold
    0:51:10 at the same level we do, right?
    0:51:11 And let me give an example.
    0:51:14 My wife and I over the years have developed this technique,
    0:51:16 so we don’t fight and our negotiations go better.
    0:51:19 When we have something that we might disagree on
    0:51:21 and have to negotiate about, before we ever start,
    0:51:23 we declare how important that is to us.
    0:51:26 So let me give a really mundane simple example.
    0:51:27 Let’s say we want to go out to dinner
    0:51:29 and my wife really wants to go to Italian food
    0:51:32 and I really want to do Mexican food.
    0:51:34 That could be a negotiation, that could be a fight.
    0:51:37 But before we do it, we simply say, declare our priorities.
    0:51:39 She might say, going to Italian food,
    0:51:41 that’s an eight on a scale of one to 10.
    0:51:43 And for me, Mexican food’s a four.
    0:51:45 There’s no negotiation, there’s no conflict.
    0:51:48 What happens is I might assume, well,
    0:51:51 her desire is the same as my desire,
    0:51:52 and I’m going to really push.
    0:51:55 And now all of a sudden, because I’m pushing,
    0:51:58 her desire rises because, hey, nobody likes to be threatened.
    0:52:01 So figure out priorities as best you can
    0:52:03 because you might not even need to negotiate.
    0:52:07 The third bit of advice is to think about the approach
    0:52:10 and metaphor that you’re bringing to the situation.
    0:52:12 Michelle Gelfand, who’s a colleague of mine
    0:52:14 at Stanford Business School, studies negotiation.
    0:52:17 And she says, mind your metaphors.
    0:52:19 A lot of us, when we approach negotiation,
    0:52:21 see it as a battle, see it as a fight.
    0:52:24 And when you see it that way, that changes your whole demeanor,
    0:52:26 how you approach it, the words you use.
    0:52:31 But if you see it as a dance or as a conversation,
    0:52:34 that changes it as well, or a problem to be solved.
    0:52:36 So think about how are you approaching it?
    0:52:39 And then the last thing, and I’m sure this isn’t surprising,
    0:52:42 you have to approach from a place of listening.
    0:52:44 Many of us go and say, here are all the reasons
    0:52:46 we should do it my way.
    0:52:48 Start by listening, start by asking questions.
    0:52:49 That also connects you,
    0:52:51 but you get an idea of what’s important.
    0:52:54 So if you follow those four steps,
    0:52:56 really know what your non-negotiables are.
    0:52:58 Think about the person’s prioritization.
    0:53:01 How are you approaching it in terms of your mindset,
    0:53:02 your metaphor?
    0:53:05 And then ultimately listening, you’re going to negotiate better.
    0:53:08 One of my last questions for you is about networking.
    0:53:10 A lot of us have to go to these networking events.
    0:53:13 How can we best prepare?
    0:53:15 Like you mentioned, even though it’s spontaneous,
    0:53:16 there’s still preparation involved.
    0:53:19 And then how do we excel at small talk?
    0:53:22 When you’re networking, just like when you’re interviewing,
    0:53:23 first and foremost, you should be thinking
    0:53:25 about who are the people that are in the space
    0:53:28 or in the room or on the Zoom that you’re connecting with.
    0:53:31 So do some research, reconnaissance and reflection
    0:53:33 about who the people are that you might be speaking to,
    0:53:35 because that will help you focus your content.
    0:53:39 Second, come up with themes that you want to get across.
    0:53:41 So in a networking environment,
    0:53:44 what are some key ideas I want to get across and share?
    0:53:47 And you can plan those in advance, whatever those are.
    0:53:49 You may want to share your opinions,
    0:53:51 or you have strong opinions on AI
    0:53:54 or something going on in the news.
    0:53:55 That’s your theme.
    0:54:00 And then stockpile some specific support for those themes.
    0:54:01 Maybe it’s a story you have.
    0:54:04 Maybe it’s some data you heard about.
    0:54:06 Maybe it’s a conversation you had with somebody else.
    0:54:07 So you stockpile those.
    0:54:09 Think of it this way.
    0:54:11 If you ever see a restaurant’s kitchen
    0:54:13 and everybody’s cooking fast and furious
    0:54:15 during a high-peak time at the restaurant,
    0:54:17 they have everything prepared in advance.
    0:54:20 Everything’s pre-chopped, pre-sautéed.
    0:54:21 So they’re just assembling.
    0:54:23 You can do the same thing.
    0:54:24 Think about these themes,
    0:54:26 and then think about these different types
    0:54:28 of support for those themes.
    0:54:30 So when I’m in the networking situation
    0:54:31 and somebody brings up a point,
    0:54:33 I can say I can connect that point
    0:54:35 to this theme I wanted to get across,
    0:54:37 and I can pull in this example.
    0:54:39 So you’ve taken the pressure off of yourself
    0:54:41 to originate in the moment.
    0:54:44 And instead, you’re just connecting and building,
    0:54:46 and that can actually help you feel better.
    0:54:49 And it allows you to be more agile and spontaneous.
    0:54:50 Think about this.
    0:54:53 An athlete does drills for certain aspects of the game.
    0:54:54 You know, professional basketball players
    0:54:56 do a lot of free throws, right?
    0:54:58 Or they do a lot of positional work.
    0:54:59 So if I’m in this position
    0:55:01 and the ball comes to me in this way,
    0:55:02 I shoot it in that way.
    0:55:03 That’s what you’re doing.
    0:55:06 So when it happens, you’re free to respond,
    0:55:07 but you’ve done that pre-work.
    0:55:09 So have a clear theme.
    0:55:10 Have some supporting material
    0:55:12 that you can pull into that theme.
    0:55:15 And then when it comes to small talk directly,
    0:55:17 start with questions or observations.
    0:55:19 Ask somebody a question
    0:55:21 or observe something that’s happening
    0:55:22 in the environment.
    0:55:23 Just comment on it.
    0:55:25 I made a great good friend
    0:55:28 simply by standing in line at a conference.
    0:55:29 I didn’t know anybody.
    0:55:30 I looked around and I noticed
    0:55:32 lots of people were dressed in blue.
    0:55:33 It wasn’t a uniform.
    0:55:34 It just happened to be coincidence.
    0:55:35 I turned to the guy.
    0:55:37 I said, “I didn’t get the memo on wearing blue.”
    0:55:38 He looked around and said, “You’re right.
    0:55:40 Everybody’s wearing blue.”
    0:55:41 Started a great conversation.
    0:55:42 We’ve now become friends.
    0:55:44 When I travel to where he lives,
    0:55:45 I visit him all the time.
    0:55:48 It started simply with an observation.
    0:55:50 The last thing I’ll say is,
    0:55:52 the thing that challenges many people
    0:55:53 in small talk is getting out of it.
    0:55:55 How do you end it?
    0:55:57 Rachel Greenwald, who I mentioned earlier,
    0:55:58 taught me this technique.
    0:55:59 She calls it the white flag.
    0:56:01 Not for surrender,
    0:56:02 but in auto racing,
    0:56:04 the white flag is what you wave
    0:56:06 right before you end the race.
    0:56:08 So when you want to end small talk,
    0:56:10 most of us just rely on biology.
    0:56:10 I’m hungry.
    0:56:11 I’m thirsty.
    0:56:12 I have to go to the bathroom.
    0:56:13 It’s awkward.
    0:56:15 Instead, you wave the white flag.
    0:56:17 You signal you’re going to leave in a little bit.
    0:56:18 So if you and I were talking,
    0:56:20 I might say, I’ve really enjoyed this conversation.
    0:56:21 In a few minutes,
    0:56:22 I’m going to go over there and talk to people.
    0:56:23 But before I leave,
    0:56:24 I want to ask you one more question
    0:56:27 about something you did on a recent podcast.
    0:56:29 So do you see what I’ve done there?
    0:56:31 I’ve signaled that I’m going to leave soon
    0:56:32 so you can prepare yourself.
    0:56:34 It’s not a surprise,
    0:56:36 but I dive in for just a little bit more information.
    0:56:39 So before you start,
    0:56:41 you do your stockpiling in your themes
    0:56:42 and you now know a way to end.
    0:56:45 It makes networking and small talk so much easier.
    0:56:46 Oh my gosh.
    0:56:48 That was such good advice.
    0:56:50 And I don’t do this on purpose.
    0:56:52 I never did it on purpose,
    0:56:55 but because I go speak at so many podcast conferences,
    0:56:58 what happens is I’m preparing these awesome presentations
    0:57:00 and I’m pulling all this data.
    0:57:01 And then the whole time,
    0:57:03 I’m just touting what I learned in my presentation
    0:57:05 to everybody when I’m doing small talk.
    0:57:06 And that’s my theme.
    0:57:09 And I never realized that I’m actually doing that,
    0:57:11 but didn’t realize that I was doing that.
    0:57:12 So that’s just such a cool tip,
    0:57:15 especially for people who might not be doing a presentation
    0:57:16 to treat it like you would.
    0:57:18 So I love that.
    0:57:20 So in your book,
    0:57:23 you talk about an NPR journalist
    0:57:25 who has a killer last question
    0:57:28 that she likes to ask her interviewees.
    0:57:30 Can you tell us about this killer last question
    0:57:31 and why it works?
    0:57:34 This is Deborah Schifrin you’re talking about.
    0:57:37 Deborah is also a colleague at Stanford.
    0:57:39 And before I tell you the question,
    0:57:44 her goal is to give people an opportunity to say more.
    0:57:47 So a lot of us in our dialogue,
    0:57:49 we ask a question, they respond, we ask a question.
    0:57:52 But if you actually pause for a moment
    0:57:53 and you ask people
    0:57:56 and you just give them an opportunity to say more.
    0:57:58 So not only does she say,
    0:57:59 is there anything else you’d like to say?
    0:58:00 Her magic question is,
    0:58:02 is there anything more you’d like to add?
    0:58:05 She also builds in a pause.
    0:58:08 So when somebody’s done answering a question,
    0:58:09 if you pause just a little bit
    0:58:12 before you ask the next question or comment on it,
    0:58:14 you give people space.
    0:58:17 We are so busy.
    0:58:20 And our attention is so pulled in different directions.
    0:58:24 Space to say more is a gift.
    0:58:28 And so if you allow people more space,
    0:58:30 you actually show that you care,
    0:58:32 that you want to learn more,
    0:58:34 and that you want to connect.
    0:58:35 So I encourage all of you,
    0:58:37 when you are having deep, meaningful conversations,
    0:58:40 or want to have deep, meaningful relationships,
    0:58:42 pause a little bit,
    0:58:44 give people space,
    0:58:45 and really listen to what they say,
    0:58:47 and it will transform those relationships.
    0:58:50 So we’re going to get mad at again,
    0:58:53 is there anything important that I neglected to ask?
    0:58:55 Oh, well, thank you for that opportunity.
    0:58:58 I think one of the things we did not talk about
    0:59:00 that is important for us to think about
    0:59:02 is not just what you say,
    0:59:04 but how you say it.
    0:59:06 We need to be thinking about
    0:59:08 our body and our voices when we communicate.
    0:59:12 So it’s not just feeling comfortable and confident
    0:59:13 speaking in the moment.
    0:59:15 It is appearing comfortable and confident.
    0:59:18 So let me share just a couple bits of advice
    0:59:20 about what we can do with our body and our voices.
    0:59:24 First and foremost, you want to be big.
    0:59:25 Many of us, when we get nervous
    0:59:26 or are feeling threatened,
    0:59:28 we make ourselves small.
    0:59:29 So the best thing you can do
    0:59:31 is take your shoulder blades
    0:59:32 and just pull them down,
    0:59:34 make yourself broad.
    0:59:35 I’m not pushing my elbows back.
    0:59:36 I’m not puffing my chest out.
    0:59:38 I just pull my shoulder blades down,
    0:59:40 and I make myself look bigger.
    0:59:41 You look more confident.
    0:59:44 You want to hold your head straight and not tilted.
    0:59:46 I’m not saying be stiff and rigid.
    0:59:47 Just make yourself big.
    0:59:48 When you speak,
    0:59:49 vary your voice.
    0:59:54 If I were to have spoken like this
    0:59:56 for this entire interview,
    0:59:58 people would have left a long time ago.
    1:00:00 Our brains are wild for novelty,
    1:00:02 things that change.
    1:00:04 So add emotive words.
    1:00:06 If you are somebody who doesn’t have a lot of variation,
    1:00:07 add adjectives and adverbs.
    1:00:08 So I would never say,
    1:00:10 “I’m really excited to be here.”
    1:00:12 No, I’d say, “I’m really excited.”
    1:00:14 So emphasize those words.
    1:00:16 So the one thing we didn’t talk about
    1:00:19 is how you say what you say,
    1:00:20 and we need to remember that.
    1:00:22 And the single easiest way to work on this
    1:00:24 is to record yourself,
    1:00:26 either through voice memo or through video.
    1:00:29 Really easy to do that these days and watch.
    1:00:30 It’s painful to watch yourself,
    1:00:31 but when you do,
    1:00:33 you’ll see these things that work for you
    1:00:35 and things that you might want to change.
    1:00:37 All of my MBA students I teach,
    1:00:39 whenever they do a presentation,
    1:00:42 I make them watch themselves without listening to it,
    1:00:44 and then I make them listen to themselves
    1:00:46 without watching it and then do both together.
    1:00:47 And while they hate it,
    1:00:50 they love it because they learn so much
    1:00:52 and they actually are able to change.
    1:00:52 Can you say that again?
    1:00:53 What do you make them do?
    1:00:54 You make them…
    1:00:55 They record themselves,
    1:00:57 and then they view it in three ways.
    1:01:00 Video only, audio only,
    1:01:01 and then both together.
    1:01:02 Got it.
    1:01:04 Yeah, that’d be really painful.
    1:01:06 Like, for instance,
    1:01:07 when I listen back to my interviews,
    1:01:08 I’m like, “I hate this.
    1:01:09 I can’t listen to it.”
    1:01:10 But you have to do it.
    1:01:12 You have to do it to improve.
    1:01:14 It’s the burden of being a podcaster.
    1:01:15 You have to listen and watch.
    1:01:17 But my hunch is, Halle,
    1:01:19 you’ve probably changed some of your communication
    1:01:20 based on what you’ve seen.
    1:01:22 Of course, of course.
    1:01:24 So, Matt, this has been such an incredible discussion.
    1:01:25 Like I mentioned,
    1:01:27 I’m so excited to just go back to your book
    1:01:29 and study it tooth and nail.
    1:01:31 It’s called “Think Faster, Talk Smarter.”
    1:01:33 I always end my show with two questions
    1:01:35 that I ask all of my guests.
    1:01:37 So, the first one is,
    1:01:39 “What is one actionable thing
    1:01:41 my young and profitors can do today
    1:01:43 to become more profitable tomorrow?”
    1:01:45 Focus on your communication.
    1:01:47 At the end of every day,
    1:01:50 take 30 seconds to think about
    1:01:52 what is something that went well
    1:01:53 in my communication today
    1:01:55 and what is something I’d like to improve.
    1:01:57 By simply taking time
    1:01:59 to catalog what works for you
    1:02:00 and really lean into that
    1:02:02 and take the things that challenge you
    1:02:03 and start fixing that,
    1:02:04 working on it,
    1:02:05 can help.
    1:02:06 Every day I do this
    1:02:07 and on the weekends,
    1:02:08 I go back and look at everything
    1:02:10 and then I set a plan for myself.
    1:02:11 So, I am constantly working
    1:02:13 and honing on my communication
    1:02:15 and it will help you be more profitable.
    1:02:17 It’ll help you connect better with people
    1:02:19 and ultimately help you feel better
    1:02:21 about the relationships you have.
    1:02:24 And what is your secret to profiting in life
    1:02:26 and this can go beyond financial and business?
    1:02:29 Being open to opportunity.
    1:02:31 I rarely say no.
    1:02:33 I say yes to many opportunities
    1:02:34 and my life has unfolded
    1:02:37 really pleasantly and in great ways.
    1:02:40 Simply because many people’s natural responses
    1:02:42 to say no to be protective
    1:02:44 and I like to approach things
    1:02:46 with curiosity and openness.
    1:02:48 So, I encourage everybody to do that.
    1:02:49 It has been my superpower
    1:02:51 where I’ve looked for opportunity
    1:02:52 and really driven towards it.
    1:02:55 And where can everybody learn more about you?
    1:02:57 Tell us about your podcast
    1:02:58 and everything like that.
    1:02:59 Oh, thank you for the opportunity.
    1:03:01 This has been fantastic.
    1:03:03 So, the podcast is called “Think Fast, Talk Smart.”
    1:03:05 It is 20-minute episodes
    1:03:08 about communication, all aspects of it.
    1:03:10 We’ve been around for almost five years,
    1:03:11 lots of episodes.
    1:03:14 Check us out at FasterSmarter.io
    1:03:16 where everywhere you get your podcasts
    1:03:18 and including YouTube.
    1:03:21 Check out the book, “Think Faster, Talk Smarter.”
    1:03:22 You can get it wherever you get your books.
    1:03:25 Really trying to help people hone
    1:03:26 and develop their communication
    1:03:27 and improve their careers.
    1:03:30 Amazing. Matt, I had such a fun time
    1:03:31 in this conversation.
    1:03:32 I personally learned so much.
    1:03:34 I feel like you’re going to impact me
    1:03:35 for many years to come
    1:03:36 just with this conversation.
    1:03:38 So, thank you for your time today.
    1:03:39 Hala, thank you.
    1:03:40 This was a true delight.
    1:03:41 You are a master at what you do.
    1:03:49 While young improvisers, there you have it.
    1:03:51 Learning to communicate effectively with others
    1:03:53 is such an important part
    1:03:55 of getting ahead in life and business.
    1:03:58 And learning to speak better spontaneously
    1:04:00 is a skill that we could all get better at,
    1:04:02 even if it’s just so that we can be
    1:04:04 a little bit more interesting
    1:04:06 at that next networking event or social gathering.
    1:04:09 Matt Abraham’s has so many great tips
    1:04:11 for exactly how to do this,
    1:04:12 and I just want to highlight
    1:04:14 a few of my favorite things here in closing.
    1:04:16 First, small talk.
    1:04:19 This can be super awkward sometimes,
    1:04:20 but there’s just one thing
    1:04:22 that you need to remember to raise your game,
    1:04:24 and that’s be curious.
    1:04:26 Focus on being interested
    1:04:28 more than being interesting.
    1:04:30 People love to talk about themselves,
    1:04:31 so give them a chance to shine.
    1:04:34 Try using supporting conversational tactics
    1:04:37 that focus the conversation on the other person
    1:04:39 more than you use switching tactics
    1:04:40 to bring it back to yourself.
    1:04:44 Part of this also involves being a better listener,
    1:04:47 and a great way to improve your listening ability
    1:04:48 is to focus on the bottom line
    1:04:50 of what the person is saying,
    1:04:51 not just the top line.
    1:04:54 Next, maximize your mediocrity.
    1:04:56 We put so much pressure on ourselves
    1:04:58 to say the perfect thing
    1:05:00 that we leave ourselves little actual bandwidth
    1:05:02 to focus on the conversation at hand.
    1:05:04 If you give your permission
    1:05:06 to just be basic and acceptable,
    1:05:08 then you’ll release this pressure
    1:05:11 and give yourself a better chance of being engaging.
    1:05:14 Yap, I’ve thought about this hack so many times.
    1:05:16 It has helped me so much personally
    1:05:18 in interviews and talking
    1:05:19 with really impressive people.
    1:05:22 I just tell myself, “Hala, just listen and be basic.
    1:05:24 It will make them like you more.”
    1:05:26 It’s worked like a charm,
    1:05:27 and another great hack.
    1:05:30 If you’re still feeling nervous before you have to speak,
    1:05:31 then try to cool yourself down
    1:05:33 by holding something cold in your hands
    1:05:35 for a few minutes.
    1:05:36 Work off some nervous energy
    1:05:38 and get fully present in the moment
    1:05:41 by walking around, listening to some music,
    1:05:43 or even just saying a tongue twister
    1:05:44 over and over to yourself.
    1:05:45 All right, guys.
    1:05:47 I’m going to raise the white flag
    1:05:48 on this particular episode,
    1:05:50 but before I leave the party,
    1:05:52 I wanted to leave you with one more question
    1:05:55 to ask yourselves as you think about this episode.
    1:05:56 What was your key takeaway?
    1:05:59 What insight was most important to you
    1:06:00 and how are you going to use it?
    1:06:02 All right, I’m out, young and profitors.
    1:06:03 That’s all the time we have today.
    1:06:05 Thanks for listening to this episode.
    1:06:07 And if you listened, learned, and profited
    1:06:10 from this incredible conversation with Matt Abraham’s,
    1:06:11 please share this episode
    1:06:13 with somebody who might love it.
    1:06:15 And if you did learn something new,
    1:06:17 if you enjoyed the show, then take a couple minutes,
    1:06:21 drop us a five-star review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify.
    1:06:23 Nothing helps us reach more people
    1:06:24 than a great review from you.
    1:06:27 And guys, I read these reviews every single day
    1:06:28 I check for new reviews.
    1:06:29 They make my day.
    1:06:31 I love getting feedback about the show.
    1:06:32 It motivates me.
    1:06:34 It motivates the team.
    1:06:35 It motivates people to listen to the show.
    1:06:40 So do your part and write us a review on Apple Podcasts.
    1:06:42 And if you prefer to watch your podcasts as videos,
    1:06:45 I’ve been doing so many in-person videos.
    1:06:47 I just interviewed Mel Robbins in person.
    1:06:50 I interviewed Gary Vee in person.
    1:06:52 I interviewed Sahil Bloom the other day in person.
    1:06:54 If you want to watch those videos,
    1:06:55 head to our YouTube channel.
    1:06:56 Just look up Young and Profiting.
    1:06:58 You’ll find all of our videos on there.
    1:07:01 You can also find me on Instagram @yappithala.
    1:07:04 I’ve got a lot of fun stories you guys can follow along.
    1:07:06 Or LinkedIn, search my name.
    1:07:07 It’s Hala Taha.
    1:07:08 You can’t miss me on there.
    1:07:11 Before we wrap, I did want to give a big shout out
    1:07:13 to my incredible YAP Media Production team.
    1:07:15 That’s my production agency.
    1:07:18 And it really takes a village to put on this show.
    1:07:21 So shout out to Christina, shout out to Sean,
    1:07:26 shout out to Paul, Raven, Hisham, Furkan, Joshua, Max.
    1:07:29 Shout out to everybody for working so hard on the show.
    1:07:31 This is your host, Hala Taha,
    1:07:34 a.k.a. The Podcast Princess, signing off.
    1:07:36 (upbeat music)
    1:07:39 (upbeat music)
    1:07:42 (upbeat music)
    1:07:44 (upbeat music)
    1:07:47 (upbeat music)
    1:07:55 [BLANK_AUDIO]

    From kindergarten through university, teachers always called on Matt Abrahams first because his last name came first alphabetically. This forced him to think on his feet regularly and, over time, shaped him into a master of spontaneous communication. In this episode, Matt shares practical tips for speaking confidently on the spot as an entrepreneur, managing anxiety, and mastering techniques for effective small talk, networking, and negotiation.

    In this episode, Hala and Matt will discuss: 

    (00:00) Introduction

    (01:35) Why Public Speaking Terrifies Most 

    (02:31) How We Communicate: Then vs. Now

    (05:42) The Key to Navigating Small Talk

    (10:04) Embracing Mediocrity to Communicate Like a Pro

    (13:25) The 6 Steps to Thinking Faster, Talking Smarter

    (15:42) Managing Anxiety in Critical Moments

    (25:16) Balancing Active Listening and Sharing

    (29:44) Structures for Speaking Spontaneously

    (38:22) The Impact of Using Fewer Words

    (40:11) Reading the Room and Winning Negotiations

    (45:06) Networking with Confidence

    (49:20) How Body Language Amplifies Your Message

    Matt Abrahams is a lecturer at the Stanford Graduate School of Business, where he teaches Strategic Communication and Effective Virtual Presenting. He is the author of Speaking Up Without Freaking Out and Think Faster, Talk Smarter, and hosts the popular Think Fast, Talk Smart podcast. Matt has helped individuals deliver impactful presentations, from IPO roadshows to Nobel Prize speeches, TED Talks, and World Economic Forum sessions. He also consults for the United Nations and advises Fortune 100 companies.

    Connect with Matt:

    Website: mattabrahams.com 

    LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/maabrahams 

    TikTok: tiktok.com/@thinkfasttalksmart 

    Facebook: facebook.com/stanfordgsb 

    Instagram: instagram.com/stanfordgsb 

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    Resources Mentioned:

    Matt’s Book, Think Faster, Talk Smarter: amzn.to/3PyVXtS 

    Matt’s Podcast, Think Fast, Talk Smart: fastersmarter.io

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  • YAPClassic: Daniel Pink, How to Understand Your Emotions and Live Your Best Life

    AI transcript
    0:00:03 Today’s episode is sponsored in part by Airbnb,
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    0:00:26 Get 20% off your first six months
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    0:00:36 Sign up for a $1 per month trial period
    0:00:39 at Shopify.com/profiting.
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    0:01:10 (upbeat music)
    0:01:20 Welcome back, Young and Profiters,
    0:01:23 to our latest Yap Classic episode.
    0:01:25 And as we step into this new year,
    0:01:28 it is totally natural to look back on the past 12 months
    0:01:31 and consider all the choices that we’ve made.
    0:01:34 Regrets can often weigh heavily on our hearts,
    0:01:39 reminding us of missed opportunities or paths not taken.
    0:01:41 But what if we could transform those feelings of regret
    0:01:44 into powerful catalysts for change?
    0:01:46 That’s exactly what I spoke about
    0:01:50 with bestselling author Daniel Pink in episode 189,
    0:01:53 how to stop letting regret hold you back.
    0:01:55 So many entrepreneurs and executives
    0:01:57 have a no regrets mindset.
    0:02:01 And so many of us try to bury or ignore our own regrets
    0:02:02 as much as possible.
    0:02:04 But as Daniel Pink shared with me,
    0:02:07 when we approach regret thoughtfully,
    0:02:09 it can serve as a very valuable resource.
    0:02:12 Regret highlights our values and priorities.
    0:02:15 It keeps us from making the same stupid mistakes.
    0:02:17 And it can even help us convert our past hardships
    0:02:19 into future strengths.
    0:02:21 So if you wanna transform your regrets
    0:02:23 into actionable advice,
    0:02:26 you won’t wanna miss this interview with Daniel Pink.
    0:02:29 (air whooshes)
    0:02:30 So last time we were on the show,
    0:02:32 it was back in December of 2019.
    0:02:33 It was for episode number 50.
    0:02:36 It was called “The Science of Perfect Timing.”
    0:02:37 And that episode was actually
    0:02:39 one of my all-time favorite episodes on YAP.
    0:02:41 Everybody who listened to it loved it.
    0:02:43 And I have a feeling this conversation
    0:02:44 is gonna be equally as good,
    0:02:47 because in my opinion, you are the epitome
    0:02:48 of what a great podcast guest is.
    0:02:50 You’re so knowledgeable.
    0:02:51 There’s no fluff when you talk.
    0:02:53 Everything is backed up by science and research.
    0:02:57 And so you are the ideal YAP guest for that reason.
    0:02:59 And here at YAP, we love to go super deep
    0:03:00 on a specific topic.
    0:03:03 Today’s focus is gonna be on regrets.
    0:03:04 You are the author of seven books.
    0:03:07 And your latest book is called “The Power of Regret,
    0:03:09 How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward.”
    0:03:11 So let’s jump right into this topic of regret.
    0:03:12 Last time you were on the show,
    0:03:14 we covered your career journey extensively.
    0:03:17 So anybody who’s tuning in and interested in that
    0:03:18 can go back to episode number 50.
    0:03:20 I highly recommend that episode.
    0:03:22 And so Daniel, I’m pretty familiar with your work.
    0:03:23 And usually you write a book
    0:03:27 because you’re very curious about the topic yourself.
    0:03:28 And you start to research that topic.
    0:03:29 You call this me search.
    0:03:31 So let’s start there.
    0:03:33 What was the genesis of this book?
    0:03:36 And what initially got you curious about this topic?
    0:03:41 – Well, once again, I’ve fallen down the trap of me search
    0:03:43 because that’s what this is again.
    0:03:45 So here’s what happened.
    0:03:48 In 2019, I had one of those moments in life
    0:03:50 that you get to when you get to be my age.
    0:03:52 I’m in my 50s and I had a kid graduate from college.
    0:03:54 So that’s kind of a jarring experience
    0:03:55 because you wonder like,
    0:03:57 how did that kid grow up so fast?
    0:03:58 And how am I possibly old enough
    0:04:01 to have a kid who’s graduating from college?
    0:04:03 And in the course of this college graduation,
    0:04:05 which was very long and lengthy
    0:04:08 and my daughter’s last name starts with P.
    0:04:10 There was a lot of waiting around,
    0:04:11 inevitably your mind wanders.
    0:04:13 And as my mind was wandering,
    0:04:16 my thoughts turned to my own college experience.
    0:04:18 And I started thinking about what I regretted.
    0:04:19 There were a lot of things I regretted.
    0:04:20 I wish I had worked harder.
    0:04:22 I wish I had been kinder.
    0:04:27 I wish I had been a little gutsy or taking more risks.
    0:04:29 So these thoughts were kind of tiptoeing through my head
    0:04:30 when I came back.
    0:04:33 And I wanted to discuss them with other people,
    0:04:36 but I knew that nobody wanted to talk about regret
    0:04:37 ’cause it’s taboo.
    0:04:39 So against my better judgment,
    0:04:42 I very, very, very, very, very sheepishly mentioned
    0:04:45 a few of these regrets to a few people.
    0:04:50 And I discovered that everybody wanted to talk about a regret
    0:04:51 that it was a kind of topic
    0:04:54 that there was this kind of damn breaking
    0:04:56 that people said, “Oh my God, you have that regret.
    0:04:57 “I have that regret too.”
    0:04:58 And they wanted to talk about it.
    0:05:01 And I think what’s interesting from a writer’s perspective
    0:05:03 is that sometimes I’ll raise an idea or a concept
    0:05:05 and people are like, “Okay, that’s nice.
    0:05:07 “All right, whatever, what are we having for dinner?”
    0:05:09 And that happens a lot and that’s cool.
    0:05:12 But this is one where people like literally,
    0:05:13 and I mean this literally,
    0:05:16 they leaned in that is their bodies move forward
    0:05:17 and wanting to discuss this.
    0:05:19 And that’s a very good sign.
    0:05:22 And so that took me on this two and a half year journey
    0:05:24 to try to make sense of this emotion,
    0:05:26 which I think that we’ve misunderstood profoundly
    0:05:29 and that also gives us hints
    0:05:31 about how to lead a better life.
    0:05:35 – Yeah, and I feel like I learned so much in this book.
    0:05:40 Like you said, regret is this kind of misunderstood emotion.
    0:05:42 And to my surprise, it’s very complex
    0:05:45 and it actually springs from an internal cognitive process.
    0:05:46 And so in the book,
    0:05:50 you talk about how humans are kind of like time travelers
    0:05:53 because our brains have the ability to revisit the past
    0:05:56 and invent these alternative narratives and scenarios.
    0:05:58 And so I thought that was really fascinating.
    0:06:00 Can you explain that to us?
    0:06:02 – So when we think about what regret is,
    0:06:03 I mean, it’s certainly an emotion
    0:06:05 and it’s emotion that makes us feel bad.
    0:06:07 And we should kind of be in awe
    0:06:09 of our ability to process regret.
    0:06:11 When you think about it cognitively,
    0:06:12 let’s use my example.
    0:06:17 So if only I had taken more risks when I was in college, okay?
    0:06:20 What I do is I go back in time
    0:06:22 to when I was in college, all right?
    0:06:24 I negate what really happened,
    0:06:26 which was kind of being a little bit of a wimp
    0:06:30 and I replaced that truth with a counterfactual.
    0:06:34 So let’s say that I was doing something a little gutsy
    0:06:37 or like playing a club level sport
    0:06:38 rather than just wimp out, all right?
    0:06:39 So you know what I’m gonna do?
    0:06:41 I’m gonna actually try to become
    0:06:43 like a very skilled basketball player
    0:06:47 and risk the injuries and risk the feelings of stupidity
    0:06:49 and not being good enough and whatnot
    0:06:50 rather than just retreat.
    0:06:52 So I go back and negate that.
    0:06:54 So not only that, but I come back to the present.
    0:06:56 Now my present is reconfigured
    0:06:57 because I’ve changed the past.
    0:06:58 And now suddenly, I don’t know,
    0:07:01 I’m like coaching a basketball team
    0:07:02 or I’m a better leader
    0:07:04 because I had more experience with a team sport
    0:07:06 or something like that.
    0:07:08 And so it’s really this incredible process
    0:07:11 that we go through where we get in the time machine,
    0:07:13 we go backward, we negate what happened,
    0:07:14 we get back in our time machine,
    0:07:16 we go forward to the present
    0:07:18 and the present magically looks different
    0:07:19 because of what we’ve done in the past.
    0:07:22 This is one reason why regret is a,
    0:07:24 it’s a milestone in our development.
    0:07:26 That is little kids can’t do this.
    0:07:28 Five-year-olds don’t experience regret
    0:07:30 ’cause they can’t think counterfactually.
    0:07:33 It’s also why people with certain kinds of brain damage
    0:07:36 and brain lesions can’t reason counterfactually.
    0:07:38 The more I think about what our brains can do,
    0:07:42 the more I’m kind of in awe of this lump in our head
    0:07:44 and how powerful it is.
    0:07:47 – Yeah, and I wanna dig deeper on counterfactuals
    0:07:48 ’cause you brought it up
    0:07:49 and it was a term that I’ve never heard of
    0:07:51 until I started reading your book
    0:07:52 and it’s super interesting.
    0:07:54 So talk to us about counterfactuals
    0:07:57 and the main ones and maybe give us some examples.
    0:07:59 – So basically what it means is that our brains allow us
    0:08:03 to imagine a scenario that runs counter to the actual facts.
    0:08:05 There are two kinds of counterfactuals here.
    0:08:07 Okay, so I know you guys like to go deep.
    0:08:09 So there are two kinds of counterfactuals
    0:08:11 that are really important.
    0:08:13 One of them is what would you can call
    0:08:15 a downward counterfactual, okay?
    0:08:18 So you imagine how things could have been worse.
    0:08:23 So you say, oh, I regret that I married Bob,
    0:08:27 but at least I have these two great kids, okay?
    0:08:29 So you find the silver lining, okay?
    0:08:29 It could have been worse.
    0:08:32 I could have married Bob and not had any kids.
    0:08:36 So at least make us feel better.
    0:08:39 Now there’s another kind of counterfactual, if onlys.
    0:08:41 That’s an upward counterfactual
    0:08:43 where you can imagine how things could have gotten better.
    0:08:44 It could have been better.
    0:08:48 So you say, oh, if only I had married Fred instead of Bob,
    0:08:51 I would be living in a nicer community.
    0:08:53 I would have a happy marriage.
    0:08:56 I would be financially secure, et cetera, et cetera.
    0:08:58 You imagine how things could have been better.
    0:09:01 Now, if onlys make us feel worse.
    0:09:03 But here’s the dirty little secret.
    0:09:05 If onlys make us feel worse,
    0:09:08 but they also help us do better in the future.
    0:09:10 And they help us do better in the future
    0:09:13 because they make us feel worse.
    0:09:16 – And regret isn’t if only feeling, right?
    0:09:17 – Totally, right.
    0:09:19 Regret is the quintessential if only.
    0:09:21 It makes us feel worse.
    0:09:23 This is why it’s paradoxical, Holly.
    0:09:25 This is why people don’t like it.
    0:09:26 This is why people like to proclaim,
    0:09:28 I don’t have any regrets.
    0:09:29 I never look backward.
    0:09:30 I’m always positive.
    0:09:34 And the reason for that is that regret is unpleasant.
    0:09:38 But what we also know from, again,
    0:09:41 if you look at 50 or 60 years of research in neuroscience,
    0:09:44 in cognitive science, in developmental psychology,
    0:09:47 which I mentioned before, social psychology,
    0:09:49 a lot of experiments in social psychology as well,
    0:09:53 what it tells us is that regret is ubiquitous.
    0:09:55 It is everywhere.
    0:09:58 Everybody experiences regret.
    0:09:59 It’s one of the most common emotions
    0:10:01 that human beings have.
    0:10:03 I can’t emphasize that enough.
    0:10:05 Everybody has regrets.
    0:10:08 If you don’t have any regrets, it’s a warning.
    0:10:09 It’s a bad sign.
    0:10:11 It means that you could be five years old,
    0:10:13 which I guess that’s not a bad sign.
    0:10:14 Like, you know, you gotta grow up.
    0:10:17 It could mean that you have brain damage
    0:10:20 or lesions on the orbital frontal cortex of your brain
    0:10:22 or early onset hunting tins or Parkinson’s.
    0:10:25 It could mean that you’re a sociopath.
    0:10:27 Those are truly the only people who don’t have regrets.
    0:10:28 The rest of us have regrets.
    0:10:30 It’s one of the most common emotions
    0:10:31 that human beings have.
    0:10:32 And this is sort of a puzzle, right?
    0:10:35 It’s like you have this thing that is widespread,
    0:10:36 but it makes us feel crappy.
    0:10:37 So you have to ask the question,
    0:10:39 well, why does it exist then?
    0:10:40 – Exactly.
    0:10:44 So we obviously evolved to have regret for good reason, right?
    0:10:46 It’s kind of a survival instinct, I imagine.
    0:10:49 It makes our lives better in the end.
    0:10:50 Talk to us about that.
    0:10:52 Why do we actually need regret?
    0:10:53 – Exactly.
    0:10:54 That’s the point.
    0:10:57 So we’re not perfect organisms at all.
    0:10:58 We’re not perfectly efficient,
    0:11:01 but there are adaptations that we’ve had.
    0:11:02 So you have to figure like,
    0:11:04 why does something that make us feel bad?
    0:11:06 Why is it everywhere?
    0:11:07 It must do something.
    0:11:10 It must have some benefit to us, right?
    0:11:11 And you got it exactly right.
    0:11:13 The benefit that it has,
    0:11:16 it helps that if we treat our regrets properly,
    0:11:19 it helps us do better.
    0:11:23 And not only a little bit and not only on a few things,
    0:11:26 but a lot of it on many things.
    0:11:27 And here’s the key.
    0:11:30 If we reckon with our regrets properly,
    0:11:32 we don’t ignore them.
    0:11:33 We don’t put our, when we feel a regret,
    0:11:35 we don’t put our fingers in our ears and say,
    0:11:36 “Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.”
    0:11:37 I don’t hear anything.
    0:11:38 That’s a bad idea.
    0:11:40 But also, and this is also important, Hala,
    0:11:43 we don’t wallow in them.
    0:11:45 We don’t ruminate on them.
    0:11:46 We don’t stew over them.
    0:11:48 We confront them.
    0:11:52 We use them as signal, as information, as evidence, as data.
    0:11:55 When we do that, again,
    0:11:57 we have the research showing
    0:11:59 that it can help us become better negotiators.
    0:12:01 So there’s a lot of experiments
    0:12:04 where you put somebody in a negotiating session,
    0:12:06 then they do their negotiation.
    0:12:08 They come out, the experimenter say,
    0:12:11 “Okay, I want you to think about what do you regret
    0:12:13 “doing or not doing in that negotiation?”
    0:12:16 So they encourage people to invite this negative feeling.
    0:12:18 What happens next?
    0:12:20 They do better in the next negotiation.
    0:12:22 It helps us become better problem solvers.
    0:12:26 It helps us avoid cognitive biases like confirmation bias
    0:12:29 and escalation of commitment to a failing course of action.
    0:12:31 There’s some interesting research among executives
    0:12:35 showing that executives who actually sort of embrace
    0:12:37 and acknowledge their regrets
    0:12:39 are better strategists
    0:12:42 than those who simply try to skate past them.
    0:12:44 It helps us find greater meaning in life.
    0:12:46 And so what we have here, again,
    0:12:48 just to distill this, make it a little bit simpler is this.
    0:12:51 Regret makes us human and regret makes us better.
    0:12:52 Everybody has regrets.
    0:12:54 And the reason everybody has regrets
    0:12:56 is that if we treat them properly,
    0:12:58 they’re incredibly useful.
    0:13:00 – Yeah, I heard that one of the main reasons
    0:13:02 why you went on this journey
    0:13:04 is because you heard this like no regrets
    0:13:06 kind of philosophy and culture that was going on,
    0:13:09 how everybody just wanted to be positive.
    0:13:10 You’re supposed to just accept your journey
    0:13:12 for what it is and never look back
    0:13:13 about the mistakes you made
    0:13:16 and just everything happens for a reason type mentality.
    0:13:20 So let’s talk about that before we go even deeper on regrets
    0:13:24 and how to evaluate them right or wrong ways to do that.
    0:13:25 But let’s talk about that first.
    0:13:28 What’s wrong with the no regrets world view?
    0:13:30 – Okay, there’s a lot wrong with it,
    0:13:33 but I’m gonna try to be kinder and gentler
    0:13:36 in how I bash it.
    0:13:41 The problem is that it is a woefully misguided philosophy
    0:13:46 for a life well lived.
    0:13:48 And the reason for that is this,
    0:13:50 I’ll give you an example of it.
    0:13:51 So I have the people who I wrote about,
    0:13:52 you know from the book,
    0:13:55 who get these tattoos that say no regrets.
    0:13:57 So they believe in this philosophy
    0:13:59 that you should always be positive,
    0:14:02 never be negative, always look forward, never look back.
    0:14:05 They believe in this credo, this philosophy
    0:14:10 so ferociously they have the message enshrined
    0:14:11 on their bodies.
    0:14:13 That’s a commitment, man, all right?
    0:14:15 Like you gotta believe in something
    0:14:17 to have a tattooed on your body, right?
    0:14:19 But here’s the thing, if you say no regrets,
    0:14:21 you say I never look backward.
    0:14:25 You might as well get a tattoo that says no growth,
    0:14:27 no learning, no progress.
    0:14:28 Nobody’s getting tattoos like that.
    0:14:30 And so it’s really, really misguided.
    0:14:34 The key here is what we do with our regrets.
    0:14:37 And this is, I think, a bigger problem that we have,
    0:14:38 Hala, which is this.
    0:14:41 And I think it’s an American problem more than others.
    0:14:46 We Americans have a problem with negative emotions.
    0:14:49 We don’t know what to do with them.
    0:14:52 Here’s the thing, just go back, just again.
    0:14:54 Positive emotions are great.
    0:14:56 I wanna have a lot of positive emotions.
    0:14:58 I want you to have a lot of positive emotions.
    0:15:00 I want all the yep listeners
    0:15:01 to have lots of positive emotions, okay?
    0:15:03 Positive emotions are great.
    0:15:07 Gratitude and joy and elation, they’re great, okay?
    0:15:10 They’re part of what makes life worth living.
    0:15:11 But here’s the thing,
    0:15:15 people shouldn’t have only positive emotions.
    0:15:18 That’s not healthy.
    0:15:20 It goes back to what you were saying before.
    0:15:22 We have adapted to the world.
    0:15:24 Negative emotions are adaptations.
    0:15:27 So if you think about this, I’ll give you an example.
    0:15:28 All right, let’s take fear.
    0:15:29 Fear is a negative emotion.
    0:15:33 Do I wanna go, if somebody knocks at my office door,
    0:15:34 some weird person knocks at my office door,
    0:15:37 hey, Dan, I’ll give you an operation.
    0:15:38 Okay, we’re gonna open up your head,
    0:15:40 but it’s gonna be completely no pain.
    0:15:42 We’re gonna seal it back up perfectly.
    0:15:43 And what we’re gonna do is we’re gonna do
    0:15:44 a little tweak in your brain
    0:15:47 to ensure that you never experience fear
    0:15:48 again in your life.
    0:15:50 Do I want that operation?
    0:15:52 – Absolutely not.
    0:15:53 – Of course not.
    0:15:55 ‘Cause when I’m in a burning building,
    0:15:58 I wanna experience fear so I get the hell out.
    0:16:00 It’s helpful.
    0:16:02 Again, I don’t wanna be burdened by fear.
    0:16:04 I don’t wanna experience fear all the time.
    0:16:05 That’s debilitating.
    0:16:07 I don’t wanna experience,
    0:16:08 think about an emotionally grief.
    0:16:11 The reason we experience grief
    0:16:13 is because we experience love.
    0:16:15 So I don’t wanna banish grief.
    0:16:17 I don’t wanna banish negative emotion.
    0:16:20 I want to actually reckon with them.
    0:16:22 I like what you said at the top of the show, Hala,
    0:16:24 is that there’s evidence here, okay?
    0:16:27 This is not some kind of philosophy of mine.
    0:16:31 We have 50 or 60 years of evidence telling us
    0:16:34 that when you line up the emotions, all right?
    0:16:36 When you line up our negative emotions,
    0:16:38 we’re gonna do a little police line up.
    0:16:39 Fear, guilt, shame, you know,
    0:16:43 but that regret ends up being the most common
    0:16:47 and the most useful if we treat it right,
    0:16:48 if we treat it right.
    0:16:51 And again, we haven’t been treating it right
    0:16:53 because what’s happened is we’re totally
    0:16:54 over index and positivity.
    0:16:57 We think we have to be positive all the time.
    0:17:00 And when we’re not, especially younger people,
    0:17:04 when they feel negative, they feel regret,
    0:17:06 they feel bad, they say, wait a second,
    0:17:09 I’m feeling regret, I’m feeling bad.
    0:17:12 That’s terrible because not only is it making me,
    0:17:15 isn’t inherently unpleasant, but I look around
    0:17:17 and everybody else is perfect,
    0:17:19 there must be something wrong with me
    0:17:20 and they get brought down by that.
    0:17:24 Rather than saying a negative emotion is a knock at the door,
    0:17:26 clunk, clunk, clunk, clunk, clunk,
    0:17:27 someone’s trying to tell me something,
    0:17:29 let me listen, not drown it out,
    0:17:32 not get freaked out by it, but listen to it,
    0:17:34 learn from it and do better in the future.
    0:17:39 – We’ll be right back after a quick break from our sponsors.
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    0:22:31 Like you said, regret is so common and it’s universal
    0:22:32 and it’s normal, right?
    0:22:34 It’s a normal feeling to have.
    0:22:36 It’s just about how you manage it, how you process it
    0:22:38 and what you do with that information.
    0:22:39 – Amen.
    0:22:40 – Yes.
    0:22:43 Okay, so in this book, you did a lot of research yourself,
    0:22:46 but there was also years of research prior to that
    0:22:49 about regrets and the common regrets that people have.
    0:22:50 So can you talk to us about the research
    0:22:52 that was available before you started
    0:22:55 and then maybe why you ended up doing more research
    0:22:56 and what you found?
    0:23:01 – Yeah, so I was also curious about what people regretted.
    0:23:03 I was really curious about that.
    0:23:06 And the reason I was curious is that when you looked
    0:23:09 at the existing evidence, most of it in social psychology,
    0:23:13 initially researchers said, oh, this is an American sample,
    0:23:15 that Americans, oh, they have education regrets.
    0:23:17 Education is the biggest regret that Americans have.
    0:23:20 Scientists believe that for 20 years.
    0:23:23 And then somebody finally realized like, wait a second,
    0:23:25 all these studies showing that education
    0:23:26 is the biggest regret.
    0:23:29 We’re done on college campuses with college students.
    0:23:33 And so, if you had done all this research in hospitals,
    0:23:34 maybe health would be the greatest regret.
    0:23:37 If you had done it in banks, maybe you know, whatever.
    0:23:39 So it’s like, huh, maybe there’s not something there.
    0:23:43 And so actually not that long ago, 16, 17 years ago,
    0:23:47 researchers started doing more systematic looks
    0:23:48 at what people regretted.
    0:23:51 And they found that people regret a lot of stuff.
    0:23:52 It was all over the place.
    0:23:53 They have career regrets.
    0:23:54 They have romance regrets.
    0:23:55 They have finance regrets.
    0:23:56 They have health regrets.
    0:23:57 They have family regrets.
    0:23:58 It’s all over the place.
    0:24:00 So that’s the lay of the land.
    0:24:03 So I said, I’m gonna try to crack the code here.
    0:24:06 And so I did something called the American Regret Project,
    0:24:09 which is the largest public opinion survey
    0:24:11 of American attitudes about regret ever conducted.
    0:24:14 We did a brilliant, gorgeous survey
    0:24:19 of nearly 4,500 Americans modeling the sample,
    0:24:23 configuring the sample so that it reflected
    0:24:27 the glorious diversity of the United States of America.
    0:24:28 And so I asked these people,
    0:24:30 tell me one of your big regrets.
    0:24:32 And then I had them put it into those categories,
    0:24:35 career, finance, romance, whatever.
    0:24:37 Because I said, I’m gonna figure this out.
    0:24:41 And I found after careful deliberation and data analysis
    0:24:43 that people regret a lot of stuff.
    0:24:45 It was all over the place.
    0:24:48 So now that’s the bad news.
    0:24:50 The good news is that I also did another piece
    0:24:52 of my own research, something called
    0:24:57 the World Regret Survey where I simply set up a website,
    0:25:01 worldregretsurvey.com, where I gathered regrets
    0:25:03 from around the globe.
    0:25:07 And we now have a database of over 21,000 regrets
    0:25:09 from people in 109 countries.
    0:25:10 It’s incredible.
    0:25:13 And once I looked at those, okay,
    0:25:15 we just basically just people offering their regrets,
    0:25:19 but by the thousands all over the world.
    0:25:21 And I didn’t ask them to categorize it.
    0:25:22 I just wanted to know their age,
    0:25:25 their gender identity and their location.
    0:25:27 When I started reading through those regrets,
    0:25:28 I didn’t read through all 21,000,
    0:25:31 but I did read through the first 15,000 of them.
    0:25:36 What I discovered is that there’s something else going on
    0:25:39 that trying to understand what people regret
    0:25:42 by those categories that I initially had thought
    0:25:43 is not the way to look at it,
    0:25:45 that there’s something bigger and more interesting
    0:25:48 going on beneath the surface.
    0:25:49 – Yeah, so let’s talk about that.
    0:25:51 You say that you discovered regret
    0:25:55 has both a surface structure and a deep structure, right?
    0:25:57 So one is really easy to see, easy to describe,
    0:26:00 and the other one is not so easy.
    0:26:01 So talk to us about that.
    0:26:03 – Okay, perfect, you got it exactly right.
    0:26:06 So let me be less abstract, let me be concrete here.
    0:26:08 Okay, here we go.
    0:26:10 We’re looking at these regrets
    0:26:12 that are coming in from all over the world.
    0:26:15 I’m reading them one by one, trying to make sense of them.
    0:26:18 It’s fascinating to hear people all over the world
    0:26:19 disclose a big regret.
    0:26:20 So let me give you an example.
    0:26:23 So I have, again, the volume here is helpful.
    0:26:27 So I have lots of regrets of people who say,
    0:26:28 I mean, here’s a weird one.
    0:26:31 It’s like, from American college graduates,
    0:26:34 I am stunned by the number of regrets
    0:26:35 that American college graduates have
    0:26:38 about not studying abroad when they were in college.
    0:26:40 I couldn’t believe it.
    0:26:41 Like even if you Google, not Google,
    0:26:43 but you go into the database and search for a phrase
    0:26:46 like study abroad, you get like hundreds of hits.
    0:26:47 I couldn’t, it’s crazy.
    0:26:49 Okay, so that’s an education regret, okay?
    0:26:52 People say, oh, I wish I had studied abroad.
    0:26:54 I was a little bit too scared to go away.
    0:26:57 And I thought I would miss people and da-da-da-da-da-da.
    0:26:58 And now I wish I had taken that.
    0:27:00 Now I wish I had studied abroad.
    0:27:02 – I’ve heard that so many times too,
    0:27:03 which is just so random
    0:27:06 that I’ve heard that regret before many times.
    0:27:08 – But you know what, it’s a big deal, man.
    0:27:10 I have to say, I was blown away by that.
    0:27:12 I actually think that there is a,
    0:27:14 and this is for the entrepreneurial
    0:27:15 gap listeners out there.
    0:27:19 I think there’s a business, a travel agency,
    0:27:23 serving basically 30-somethings and 40-somethings,
    0:27:25 20-somethings, 30-somethings, 40-somethings,
    0:27:28 who wish they had studied abroad and didn’t
    0:27:29 and now have a little money in their pocket.
    0:27:32 I really think there’s a viable business in there.
    0:27:33 But that’s an education regret, okay?
    0:27:34 So then I have a lot of regrets.
    0:27:36 Okay, let’s go back to entrepreneurship.
    0:27:39 I got lots of regrets, again, all over the world.
    0:27:40 We basically say this.
    0:27:43 I really regret staying in this lackluster job.
    0:27:44 I always wanted to start a business,
    0:27:46 but I never had the gumption to do it.
    0:27:48 Okay, that’s a career regret.
    0:27:50 Then I have, and this is again,
    0:27:52 volume, volume, volume, hundreds,
    0:27:53 and I’m not kidding around, hundreds,
    0:27:55 that basically go like this.
    0:28:00 X years ago, there was a man/woman who I really liked.
    0:28:02 I wanted to ask him or her out on a date,
    0:28:04 but I was too chicken to do that,
    0:28:06 and now I’ve regretted it 10 years later,
    0:28:07 20 years later, 30 years later.
    0:28:09 Okay, that’s a romance regret.
    0:28:11 So we got an education regret.
    0:28:13 We’ve got a career regret.
    0:28:15 We’ve got a romance regret,
    0:28:19 but here’s the point I’m making in this little diatribe here.
    0:28:22 Those are all the same regret.
    0:28:24 Those regrets on the surface,
    0:28:25 they’re in different categories,
    0:28:28 but they’re the same regret.
    0:28:31 You’re at a juncture in your life, and you have a choice.
    0:28:34 You can play it safe, or you can take the chance.
    0:28:38 And overwhelmingly, when people don’t take the chance,
    0:28:40 they regret it.
    0:28:42 And that’s what I call a boldness regret.
    0:28:43 So on the surface,
    0:28:45 it’s career is different from romance,
    0:28:48 it’s different from education,
    0:28:51 but one layer down, it’s the same regret.
    0:28:53 If only I’d taken the chance.
    0:28:55 And what I found is that that is one of boldness regrets,
    0:28:59 or one of four of these deep structure core regrets
    0:29:01 that people all over the world seem to have.
    0:29:03 – Yeah, and I feel like it makes sense
    0:29:05 to go through all four of them,
    0:29:08 and then I have some other questions about them individually.
    0:29:09 – Yeah, rock and roll. – Yeah.
    0:29:10 – Cool.
    0:29:11 One category of what I call foundation regrets.
    0:29:13 Foundation regrets are if only,
    0:29:15 ’cause remember, regrets, as you said earlier,
    0:29:16 regrets are if onlys, all right?
    0:29:20 So foundation regret is if only I’d done the work,
    0:29:21 if only I’d done the work.
    0:29:23 So these are regrets that people have.
    0:29:25 Okay, a lot of regrets about,
    0:29:26 I spent too much and saved too little,
    0:29:29 and now I don’t have enough money or now I’m broke.
    0:29:31 A surprising number of regrets about people
    0:29:32 who didn’t work hard enough in school.
    0:29:33 Ugh, if only I’d listened to my parents
    0:29:35 and worked harder in school,
    0:29:37 I’d have a little bit more of a stable footing
    0:29:39 in the job market.
    0:29:41 A lot of regrets about health in this way, too.
    0:29:43 If only I had eaten better.
    0:29:44 If only I had exercised,
    0:29:46 I wouldn’t be out of shape and unhealthy today.
    0:29:49 So it’s small decisions early in life
    0:29:52 that accumulate to really nasty consequences later in life.
    0:29:54 Again, these small decisions,
    0:29:56 like no single one is cataclysmic.
    0:29:59 It’s like, oh, I ate a whole bag of Cheetos once, all right?
    0:30:01 That’s like, people don’t regret that.
    0:30:03 They regret eating unhealthily for a year,
    0:30:05 two years, five years, 10 years,
    0:30:07 and it adds up and it’s hard to undo.
    0:30:10 So foundation regrets, if only I’d done the work.
    0:30:12 Third category, we got boldness, too.
    0:30:13 We got moral regrets.
    0:30:17 Moral regrets are, if only I’d done the right thing.
    0:30:18 Again, you’re at a juncture.
    0:30:19 You can do the right thing.
    0:30:21 You can do the wrong thing.
    0:30:25 When we do the wrong thing, most of us regret it
    0:30:28 ’cause I think most of us are good and want to be good.
    0:30:31 And when we’re not good, we feel crappy about it.
    0:30:33 And so these are regrets that people have about,
    0:30:36 oh my gosh, the two bigger ones here,
    0:30:38 marital infidelity, woof.
    0:30:41 I had a lot of people like basically confessing
    0:30:42 on this world regret survey.
    0:30:44 It was like an online confessional.
    0:30:47 And then also a shocking number, shocking to me,
    0:30:51 number of people who regretted bullying other people
    0:30:52 when they were younger.
    0:30:54 So bullying and marital infidelity,
    0:30:56 if only I’d done the right thing.
    0:30:59 Finally, fourth category, connection regrets.
    0:31:02 Connection regrets are about relationships
    0:31:03 and not only romantic relationships
    0:31:06 and really not even mostly romantic relationships,
    0:31:10 just the full suite of relationships in our lives.
    0:31:14 And what happens is that you have a relationship
    0:31:16 that wasn’t attacked or should have been intact
    0:31:18 with a parent, with a sibling, with a relative,
    0:31:20 with friends, with colleagues.
    0:31:23 It wasn’t attacked and it comes apart
    0:31:26 and or should have been intact, wasn’t attacked
    0:31:27 and it comes apart.
    0:31:29 And I think what’s interesting is that,
    0:31:32 again, if you read story after story,
    0:31:34 the way a lot of these relationships come apart
    0:31:37 is not dramatic at all.
    0:31:39 There’s no big fight.
    0:31:40 There’s no screaming or yelling.
    0:31:45 It’s just like this drift that takes place over time.
    0:31:46 And here’s what happens.
    0:31:47 Somebody wants to reach out.
    0:31:49 Okay, so let’s say, you know, like,
    0:31:52 man, I was such good friends with Holla 10 years ago,
    0:31:54 I haven’t talked to her for so long.
    0:31:56 I should really reach out to her.
    0:31:59 And then I say, oh man, no, but if I just reach out
    0:32:01 to her now, it’s gonna be so awkward
    0:32:02 ’cause I haven’t talked to her for 10 years.
    0:32:03 It’s gonna be so awkward.
    0:32:04 I don’t wanna do that.
    0:32:06 Besides, she won’t care.
    0:32:07 So I don’t do anything.
    0:32:09 And then two years from now, I say, oh man,
    0:32:11 I was such good friends with Holla 12 years ago.
    0:32:13 I really should reach out to her.
    0:32:15 But oh my God, it’s even more awkward now
    0:32:16 and she’s gonna carry even less.
    0:32:19 And so we don’t do anything and sometimes it’s too late.
    0:32:20 And that’s a big mistake.
    0:32:24 Let me just double click on that for a moment.
    0:32:25 That’s a huge mistake.
    0:32:27 We have piles of evidence showing
    0:32:29 that when people do reach out,
    0:32:31 it’s way less awkward than they think.
    0:32:35 We’re completely over-indexed on awkwardness.
    0:32:37 My view in general in life, reading the research,
    0:32:39 is that if you’re feeling awkward about something,
    0:32:41 just frickin’ push through it.
    0:32:43 Don’t let awkwardness, feelings of awkwardness,
    0:32:45 be that barrier.
    0:32:47 Awkwardness is not a strong enough signal
    0:32:49 to stop you from doing something.
    0:32:51 Second thing is that we say people,
    0:32:53 but Holla’s not gonna care.
    0:32:55 People almost always welcome it.
    0:32:57 We’re completely wrong on both fronts.
    0:32:59 We think it’s gonna be awkward and they’re not gonna care.
    0:33:01 And when we do it, it’s not awkward and they always care.
    0:33:03 So connection regrets are if only I’d reached out.
    0:33:06 So let me quickly summarize those.
    0:33:07 We’ve got confoundation regrets,
    0:33:09 if only I’d done the work.
    0:33:12 We’ve got boldness regrets, if only I’d taken the chance.
    0:33:15 We’ve got moral regrets, if only I’d done the right thing.
    0:33:16 And then we’ve got connection regrets,
    0:33:17 if only I’d reached out.
    0:33:20 And just remarkable universality.
    0:33:24 All over the world, these are what people regret.
    0:33:27 And it’s that deep structure that really matters.
    0:33:31 That deep structure is really universal.
    0:33:35 You see these in every country, at every age,
    0:33:36 at every gender identity.
    0:33:39 – Yeah, and if I remember correctly,
    0:33:43 connection requests are the most common regret.
    0:33:45 And I think especially in COVID, this is relevant.
    0:33:47 I think a lot of us weren’t hanging out
    0:33:49 with our friends for a couple of years.
    0:33:50 A lot of our friends moved away.
    0:33:52 I feel like this is your sign, guys.
    0:33:54 If you’re thinking of an old friend
    0:33:55 that you haven’t talked to in a while,
    0:33:57 make sure you reach out to them.
    0:33:59 Don’t have any regrets about that.
    0:34:03 – So I’d love to hear about inaction and action
    0:34:06 and what we need to know about that in terms of regret.
    0:34:08 – Okay, really important.
    0:34:09 I’ll give you a little bit of insight
    0:34:11 in how the sausage is made.
    0:34:12 – Okay.
    0:34:15 – So at one point, I had a chapter called
    0:34:17 the rules of regret.
    0:34:20 Where I was gonna say, here’s how regret works.
    0:34:22 Like it works to basically pull up the hood.
    0:34:23 These are the rules of regret.
    0:34:24 This is how regret works, okay?
    0:34:26 And I was like, okay, should there be five rules
    0:34:27 or seven rules or whatever?
    0:34:30 So I have this like, these giant bulging folders
    0:34:32 of research and it’s like, okay, I’m gonna crack the code.
    0:34:34 I’m gonna figure out the rules of regret.
    0:34:35 And I started going through the research
    0:34:38 and I’m like, oh, there’s one rule.
    0:34:40 And the rule is, there’s a big difference
    0:34:43 between regrets of action and regrets of inaction.
    0:34:44 Everything comes back to that difference.
    0:34:47 And the architecture of regret,
    0:34:49 the difference between regrets of action,
    0:34:52 I regret what I did, and regrets of inaction,
    0:34:54 I regret what I didn’t do, is huge.
    0:34:58 And here there is a distinct difference in age.
    0:35:00 In my American regret project,
    0:35:02 which is the giant public opinion poll,
    0:35:04 I put together such a large sample
    0:35:06 in order to try to find demographic differences
    0:35:08 in what people regret it.
    0:35:10 So thinking that whites would have different regrets
    0:35:13 from people of color, people with lots of formal education
    0:35:14 would have different regrets from people
    0:35:16 with less education, men would have different regrets
    0:35:18 from women, blah, blah, blah.
    0:35:20 There were very few demographic differences.
    0:35:21 I was kind of shocked by that.
    0:35:24 But the one had to do with age and it’s this.
    0:35:27 People in their 20s tended to have equal numbers
    0:35:29 of regrets of action and inaction,
    0:35:31 equal numbers of regrets about what they did
    0:35:33 and regrets about what they didn’t do.
    0:35:36 But by the time you hit basically your late 20s,
    0:35:40 and certainly into your 30s and 40s and 50s and beyond,
    0:35:42 it’s not even close.
    0:35:45 By the time you get literally to your late 20s,
    0:35:47 the inaction regrets take over.
    0:35:50 When you get to my age, okay?
    0:35:53 And I’m basically like double the age of somebody
    0:35:54 in their mid to late 20s.
    0:35:58 When you get to my age, it’s like three to one.
    0:36:00 Inaction regrets over action regrets.
    0:36:05 Overwhelmingly, over time, we regret what we didn’t do.
    0:36:07 I regret that I didn’t reach out.
    0:36:09 I regret that I didn’t start that business.
    0:36:12 I regret that I didn’t tell that person that I loved them.
    0:36:16 I regret that I didn’t stand up to an injustice.
    0:36:18 That’s what we regret.
    0:36:21 Inaction over action as we get older.
    0:36:23 And I’m curious to understand because you did all this
    0:36:26 research, you heard about so many different regrets.
    0:36:29 You really started to understand the science behind it
    0:36:30 and why we have regrets.
    0:36:32 What were some of the big life lessons
    0:36:36 that you learned about it that may not really be scientific
    0:36:38 or anything, but just life lessons
    0:36:39 that you’re gonna carry through?
    0:36:40 – I’ll tell you a few of them.
    0:36:44 I mean, you hinted at one of them just a few moments ago,
    0:36:47 Hala, which is that let’s take these connection regrets.
    0:36:49 This is my philosophy now, okay?
    0:36:51 So let’s say you’re at a juncture
    0:36:53 and you’re wondering, should I reach out to this person
    0:36:55 or should I not reach out to this person?
    0:36:57 If you have arrived at that juncture,
    0:36:58 you have the answer to the question.
    0:37:00 Reach out, when in doubt, reach out.
    0:37:03 If you arrive at that juncture and you’re wondering,
    0:37:05 the question is answered, always reach out.
    0:37:08 I’m dead serious about that.
    0:37:11 I’ve heard too many stories where it didn’t happen
    0:37:13 and then something horrible arises
    0:37:16 and ends up not being possible, somebody dies.
    0:37:19 I’ve so many stories like that, always reach out.
    0:37:20 I’ll give you another one.
    0:37:22 And let’s go back to inaction and action.
    0:37:23 – Yeah.
    0:37:28 – I think that there’s a lot to be said for in general,
    0:37:31 having a slight bias for action.
    0:37:36 That is for so for just like for trying stuff.
    0:37:37 And again, it goes to the awkwardness.
    0:37:42 So I think that awkwardness is a weak excuse.
    0:37:43 I think fear is a stronger excuse.
    0:37:45 I think feelings of awkwardness,
    0:37:47 do what you can to push past those.
    0:37:49 It’s sort of a bias for action.
    0:37:52 I’m a happily married guy from of 27 years,
    0:37:54 but I’ll give everybody who’s listening
    0:37:57 all the Yap listeners some romantic advice, okay?
    0:37:59 Ask the person out.
    0:38:02 I’m dead serious.
    0:38:05 If you’re wondering whether he, she or they,
    0:38:08 you should ask him, him, her or them out.
    0:38:09 Do it.
    0:38:10 The worst thing that can happen
    0:38:13 is that the person says no.
    0:38:16 And you know what happens when the person says no?
    0:38:17 You’re fine.
    0:38:18 Life goes on.
    0:38:21 You’re exactly where you were before you were asked.
    0:38:22 But here’s the thing.
    0:38:24 Now you know, you’ve taken your shot.
    0:38:27 So I think if there’s one takeaway here
    0:38:28 is that ask the person out.
    0:38:30 Just slight bias for action.
    0:38:34 Don’t take awkwardness as a meaningful signal.
    0:38:35 Always reach out.
    0:38:37 The other thing is, I’ll give you one,
    0:38:38 I’ll give you one more life lesson here too,
    0:38:41 is that I think there’s something to be said
    0:38:44 for when you’re making a decision
    0:38:46 to consult your future self.
    0:38:49 So if you’re stuck, see if you can sort of send a text
    0:38:53 or make a phone call to the you of 10 years from now.
    0:38:57 So think about, let’s say that you’re 28 years old, all right?
    0:39:00 What does 38-year-old you want you to do?
    0:39:04 38-year-old wants you to put a little bit more money
    0:39:08 in your 401k and spend a little less money at Applebeast.
    0:39:09 That’s what you’re,
    0:39:13 that’s what 38-year-old you wants you to do.
    0:39:14 If you’re at a juncture and you’re saying,
    0:39:16 God, should I do this unethical thing
    0:39:17 or should I not?
    0:39:21 98% of us, 38-year-old you, want you to do the right thing.
    0:39:22 The you of 10 years from now
    0:39:23 is really looking out for your best interest.
    0:39:25 And here’s the thing, well, the other thing is also,
    0:39:27 we can make a pretty safe prediction
    0:39:30 about what the you of 10 years from now will care about.
    0:39:31 And it’s not most things.
    0:39:32 The me of 10 years from now
    0:39:34 isn’t gonna care what I have for dinner tonight.
    0:39:37 It isn’t gonna care what t-shirt I wore today.
    0:39:40 But it is gonna care, did I do the work
    0:39:42 and build a stable foundation for myself,
    0:39:43 for my family, for my team?
    0:39:48 It is gonna care of did I use my opportunity,
    0:39:51 this vanishingly short amount of time that I’m alive
    0:39:53 to like learn and grow and do something and contribute.
    0:39:56 It’s gonna care if I, 10 years from now,
    0:39:57 if I do the wrong thing,
    0:40:00 I have to confront the me of 2032,
    0:40:01 who’s gonna be wagging his finger at me saying,
    0:40:03 shame on you, why’d you do the wrong thing?
    0:40:05 And it’s gonna care if I don’t reach out
    0:40:08 and build relationships of love and connection
    0:40:09 and affinity and belonging.
    0:40:11 And again, it’s not super complicated,
    0:40:13 but I think the cool thing is,
    0:40:17 is that this emotion that we often try to avoid
    0:40:22 is giving us this very, very clear window
    0:40:25 into what makes life worth living.
    0:40:26 – Let’s hold that thought
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    0:42:05 – I feel like for me,
    0:42:08 the big kind of takeaway that I’m getting from all this
    0:42:10 is having this bias for action.
    0:42:10 Because like you said,
    0:42:13 the biggest regret is inaction.
    0:42:14 And most of the time,
    0:42:16 if we do something and we find out the answer,
    0:42:18 we’re not looking back and saying,
    0:42:19 if only this, if only that,
    0:42:20 you just, that’s what happened.
    0:42:22 And you just get over it and move on
    0:42:25 and you don’t ruminate and think about it forever.
    0:42:27 So speaking about ruminating,
    0:42:29 there’s right ways and wrong ways to deal with regret.
    0:42:32 And dealing with regret is critical for us,
    0:42:35 like moving in a positive way forward in our lives.
    0:42:37 So talk to us about the right way
    0:42:38 and the wrong way to deal with regret.
    0:42:40 – Okay, that’s a great question.
    0:42:43 So I think that the wrong way is pretty obvious.
    0:42:46 The wrong way is to simply ignore it.
    0:42:48 That’s a totally bad idea.
    0:42:50 And it doesn’t work over the long term.
    0:42:53 Another bad idea is to wallow in it,
    0:42:54 is to stew over it.
    0:42:56 So the right way to do it is to try to avoid,
    0:42:57 especially that second path.
    0:43:00 And the way I look at this process
    0:43:03 is inward, outward, forward, inward, outward, forward.
    0:43:05 Because the first step is to look inward.
    0:43:06 So let’s say you have a regret
    0:43:09 or even more broadly, you make a mistake.
    0:43:10 In the face of regrets,
    0:43:11 in the face of mistakes and screw-ups,
    0:43:14 the way we talk to ourselves is incredibly harsh.
    0:43:17 If you listen to people self-talk, it’s brutal.
    0:43:20 Listen to myself talk, you think I was a lunatic.
    0:43:23 The way I talk to myself is just cruel.
    0:43:25 I would never talk to anybody else that way.
    0:43:29 And what the science tells us is, don’t do that.
    0:43:31 There’s very little evidence
    0:43:35 that that’s effective in enhancing your performance.
    0:43:37 A better technique than self-laceration
    0:43:39 is what’s called self-compassion,
    0:43:41 which is work pioneered by Kristen Neff
    0:43:44 at the University of Texas about 20 years ago.
    0:43:45 And the principle is pretty simple.
    0:43:48 Treat yourself with kindness rather than contempt.
    0:43:50 Don’t treat yourself better than anybody else.
    0:43:53 There’s no evidence, oh, I should treat myself special.
    0:43:54 I should, you know, that’s not true.
    0:43:56 But don’t treat yourself worse than anybody else.
    0:43:58 Treat yourself with kindness rather than contempt.
    0:44:02 Recognize that regrets are part of the human condition.
    0:44:04 Any app listener out there who has a regret,
    0:44:06 I’ll find almost the identical regret
    0:44:09 on my database in 90 seconds, okay?
    0:44:11 Like it’s part of the human condition.
    0:44:13 And the also thing that I think is really important
    0:44:16 is that a regret is a moment in your life.
    0:44:18 It’s not the full measure of your life.
    0:44:20 We sometimes will make these broad assessments
    0:44:23 of our entirety based on a single thing
    0:44:25 in a single moment, and that’s unhealthy.
    0:44:27 So that’s inward, so you reframe, inward.
    0:44:29 Second thing is outward.
    0:44:32 There’s a strong argument to be made for disclosure.
    0:44:34 Disclosure is a form of unburdening.
    0:44:37 It’s not accidental that 21,000 people around the world
    0:44:40 told a complete stranger their big regret
    0:44:41 ’cause they wanted to talk about it.
    0:44:42 It’s just like what I was saying
    0:44:44 at the top of the show, Hala.
    0:44:46 It’s like, I mentioned that my regrets very sheepishly
    0:44:50 and suddenly like this sort of uncorked this bottle
    0:44:52 where people wanna talk about it.
    0:44:54 – Releasing it, yeah.
    0:44:56 – But the other thing I think is actually really important
    0:45:00 is that emotions by their very nature are abstract.
    0:45:02 They’re vaporous, they’re blobby.
    0:45:04 That’s what makes positive emotions feel good,
    0:45:07 but it’s what makes negative emotions feel bad.
    0:45:10 And so when we talk about our negative emotions,
    0:45:12 or even when we don’t have to even tell anybody else,
    0:45:15 when you write about them privately,
    0:45:18 we take this abstraction and make it concrete.
    0:45:22 We turn it from these blobby thing into concrete words,
    0:45:25 which are less menacing and helps us begin
    0:45:26 the sense-making process.
    0:45:29 So we reframe inward, we express outward,
    0:45:31 but we also have to move forward
    0:45:35 and the way we do that is we have to extract a lesson
    0:45:36 from that regret.
    0:45:39 And we tend to be pretty bad at solving our own problems.
    0:45:42 We’re good at solving other people’s problems,
    0:45:43 terrible at solving our own problems.
    0:45:48 So a really good technique is essentially to,
    0:45:50 it’s what’s called self-distancing.
    0:45:53 It’s basically get some distance from yourself.
    0:45:54 So you can do things like talk to yourself
    0:45:57 in the second person, what should you do?
    0:46:00 Or even better, your third person, what should Hala do?
    0:46:04 I gotta say the single best decision-making tool
    0:46:08 that I know of when you’re stuck is to ask yourself,
    0:46:10 what would I tell my best friend to do?
    0:46:11 I have people come to me saying,
    0:46:13 “Dan, I should do this or should I do that?
    0:46:14 I’m just so torn, I don’t know what to do.”
    0:46:16 And I said, “What would you tell your best friend to do?”
    0:46:17 And they say, “Oh, well, I tell her.
    0:46:18 Babity, babity, babity.”
    0:46:19 And it’s like, all right,
    0:46:20 you kind of answered the question there.
    0:46:24 So for the business people in your audience,
    0:46:29 Andy Grove, the former CEO of Intel has a brilliant,
    0:46:31 had a brilliant technique where he said,
    0:46:35 when he was stuck on a business decision as an executive,
    0:46:39 he would say, “Okay, if I were replaced tomorrow,
    0:46:41 what would my successor do?”
    0:46:42 Andy always knew.
    0:46:46 So again, so if we reframe inward, express outward,
    0:46:48 and then move forward by self-dismissing,
    0:46:51 we begin to sort of develop that as a habit.
    0:46:54 And then, instead of trying to bat away
    0:46:56 this negative emotion or getting brought down by it,
    0:46:58 we basically hop on it at like a surfboard
    0:47:03 and ride it into better health, higher productivity,
    0:47:06 more meaning in life, and more effectiveness,
    0:47:07 especially at work.
    0:47:09 – Yeah, I’m curious.
    0:47:12 Why is it so much easier to give advice to other people
    0:47:14 and to like kind of pretend
    0:47:15 that you’re giving advice to your best friend?
    0:47:19 Like, why is it so hard to give advice to yourself?
    0:47:21 – We’re too caught up in the details of our life.
    0:47:23 We, at some level, we know too much
    0:47:25 and that blinds us from the big picture.
    0:47:27 It’s like trying to understand,
    0:47:28 okay, I wanna study the ocean
    0:47:31 and what I’m gonna do is I’m gonna scuba dive
    0:47:33 to try to understand the ocean.
    0:47:35 And it’s like, well, not only I’m immersed in everything,
    0:47:37 if you really wanna understand like,
    0:47:38 what does the ocean look like?
    0:47:39 What are its boundaries?
    0:47:40 How’s it configured?
    0:47:41 You wanna be an oceanographer.
    0:47:45 You wanna get up like in a helicopter and go above there.
    0:47:48 And that’s often a better problem-solving technique.
    0:47:50 We just know too much about ourselves.
    0:47:53 We’re too caught up in the gory details
    0:47:56 where with other people, we see the big picture,
    0:47:58 we see what’s really going on.
    0:47:59 – Yeah.
    0:48:00 – And I really think that’s it.
    0:48:02 Now, we can bring those techniques
    0:48:03 to bear on our own problems,
    0:48:06 but we have to be deliberate and intentional about that
    0:48:10 by doing these kinds of sort of like Jedi mind tricks
    0:48:11 to self-distance.
    0:48:13 Again, talking to yourself in the third person,
    0:48:15 even that thing that I suggested before
    0:48:18 about talking to yourself 10 years from now,
    0:48:20 that’s a form of self-distancing.
    0:48:24 And again, truly, two takeaways from this
    0:48:25 for your listeners.
    0:48:27 One, ask them out.
    0:48:30 Two, if you’re stuck on a decision,
    0:48:33 ask yourself, what would I tell my best friend to do?
    0:48:34 And then do that.
    0:48:36 – Yeah, I think that’s really good advice.
    0:48:38 And so, regret is a very negative emotion.
    0:48:40 People don’t like to feel that way.
    0:48:42 Sometimes they wallow in their regret.
    0:48:45 And you talk about something called mental subtraction
    0:48:47 that can help us feel better in the moment
    0:48:48 when we’re having a regret.
    0:48:50 Could you explain that to us?
    0:48:51 – Sure.
    0:48:52 That’s another really good point.
    0:48:54 Is it technique, some good research on this
    0:48:57 called mental subtraction of positive events.
    0:48:59 It allows us to feel a greater sense of gratitude.
    0:49:01 It’s also a way to reckon with regret.
    0:49:03 I give you an education regret of mine,
    0:49:08 which is that I regret having gone to law school
    0:49:11 in general and probably gone to law school when I did.
    0:49:13 Okay, that’s not a cataclysmic regret.
    0:49:16 It’s not my biggest regret, but it’s illustrative here.
    0:49:17 But here’s the thing.
    0:49:18 I met my wife in law school.
    0:49:20 So what I can do is I can say,
    0:49:24 well, let me mentally subtract that event.
    0:49:26 Imagine a word where I didn’t go to law school.
    0:49:28 That’s a world where I never would have met my wife.
    0:49:29 I don’t wanna live in that world.
    0:49:33 With action regrets, we can find the silver lining.
    0:49:34 We can at least them.
    0:49:36 We can see a benefit in them,
    0:49:39 which is why we can process them and make sense of them.
    0:49:41 Some action regrets, we can also undo.
    0:49:43 All those people who have bullying regrets,
    0:49:46 more regrets, it’s an action I bullied somebody.
    0:49:50 Many of them go back 20 years later
    0:49:53 and apologize to the people they bullied.
    0:49:55 And so they’re trying to undo that kind of regret.
    0:49:59 I have a guy in the book who has a no regrets tattoo
    0:50:00 and he goes to get it removed.
    0:50:02 So with action regrets,
    0:50:06 we can mentally subtract certain positive elements of them.
    0:50:08 We can at least them.
    0:50:09 We can undo them.
    0:50:14 And therefore we can tamp down how much they bug us.
    0:50:18 That’s why over time, action regrets proceed
    0:50:21 in action regrets dominate.
    0:50:22 – This is so interesting, Danielle.
    0:50:24 So let’s wrap up the conversation.
    0:50:26 And I feel like a good way to round this out
    0:50:29 is to talk about the benefits of dealing with our regrets
    0:50:32 and the benefits of regrets in general.
    0:50:35 How can us doing what you just mentioned,
    0:50:37 self distancing, analyzing,
    0:50:39 trying to change our behaviors based on our regrets.
    0:50:42 How can that actually help us in life?
    0:50:43 – On a number of different dimensions.
    0:50:46 Number one is that we know from these four regrets,
    0:50:47 if we know what people regret the most,
    0:50:49 we know what they value the most.
    0:50:51 So regrets are a negative, a reverse image
    0:50:54 of a life well lived of a good life.
    0:50:57 What people want out of life in general
    0:50:59 is they want a degree of stability.
    0:51:01 A good life is not precarious.
    0:51:03 Boldness is about the chance to learn and grow
    0:51:06 and do something and not like waste your time here
    0:51:08 and just do something.
    0:51:09 Moral regrets are about goodness.
    0:51:12 Connection regrets are ultimately about love.
    0:51:15 And so as you think through your decisions,
    0:51:18 you can anticipate your future regrets.
    0:51:22 And the way to do that is to really maximize
    0:51:25 on things that, if you’re making a decision,
    0:51:27 is this gonna build my foundation?
    0:51:29 Is this gonna help me learn and grow?
    0:51:31 Is this the right thing to do?
    0:51:32 Is this gonna help me build connections
    0:51:34 and affinity with people I care about?
    0:51:38 Those kinds of things you should really maximize on.
    0:51:41 But the other stuff, good enough is good enough.
    0:51:43 I know we’re not supposed to say good enough is good enough,
    0:51:46 but good enough is good enough for a heck of a lot of things.
    0:51:48 So again, let’s go back to future you.
    0:51:51 Future you is not gonna care this year
    0:51:54 whether you bought a blue car or a gray car.
    0:51:56 Future me, as I said earlier, is not gonna care
    0:51:57 whether I wore that blue shirt today
    0:51:59 or I wore a yellow shirt today.
    0:52:01 There’s so many decisions that we make
    0:52:02 that we don’t even remember, we don’t even care about.
    0:52:04 But there’s some that stick with us
    0:52:08 and we have a sense of the things that matter most.
    0:52:11 And so if we really focus our efforts and our attention
    0:52:13 on these kinds of things,
    0:52:15 on building a solid foundation,
    0:52:17 on learning and growing,
    0:52:19 being good and moral and truthful
    0:52:20 and doing the right thing
    0:52:25 and on building relationships of love and belonging,
    0:52:28 I think that regret gives us this path to do things better.
    0:52:31 I’ll give you one other tip here that I think is useful
    0:52:34 because again, less abstract and more practical.
    0:52:36 One of the most useful things to do
    0:52:39 is to do what I did a couple of years ago,
    0:52:42 which is that push past the awkwardness
    0:52:44 and if you have a team that you work with
    0:52:45 or a group of friends,
    0:52:48 tell people about one regret that you have,
    0:52:49 tell them what you learned from it,
    0:52:51 tell them what you’re gonna do about it.
    0:52:53 And I can almost guarantee that you will have
    0:52:55 one of the richest, most interesting conversations
    0:52:58 you’ve had this year because I was wrong.
    0:53:00 I thought nobody wanted to talk about regret
    0:53:02 and I discovered, as I said at the very beginning
    0:53:04 of our conversation, that everybody wants to talk
    0:53:07 about regret because as you said, it’s normal,
    0:53:10 it’s universal, it’s part of the human being.
    0:53:12 – Yeah, and Young and Profiters,
    0:53:14 I loved his book, The Power of Regrets,
    0:53:15 so make sure you guys go get that.
    0:53:17 There’s lots of exercises that you can do
    0:53:19 to understand what your regrets are,
    0:53:20 how to deal with them.
    0:53:22 So I highly recommend that,
    0:53:23 I’ll put that in the show notes.
    0:53:25 Daniel, I always ask the same two questions
    0:53:27 at the end of the show for all of our guests,
    0:53:29 then we do something fun at the end of the year.
    0:53:30 So the first one is,
    0:53:33 what is one actionable thing that our Young and Profiters
    0:53:37 can do today to become more profiting tomorrow?
    0:53:39 – Listen more and talk less.
    0:53:40 – Oh, why?
    0:53:44 I feel like so much of the work that we do
    0:53:46 obviously involves groups and other people
    0:53:49 and most of us are not very good listeners.
    0:53:52 We don’t actually work hard at listening.
    0:53:55 We, no one has ever taught us how to listen.
    0:53:57 You know, when we’re in elementary school,
    0:53:58 they teach us how to read
    0:54:00 and that, you know, they teach us how to write,
    0:54:01 but no one ever teaches us how to listen.
    0:54:03 They think ’cause we have ears, we know how to listen
    0:54:05 and most of us are not very good listeners.
    0:54:09 And so one way to listen better is, seriously,
    0:54:12 I’m gonna say this after an hour yapping,
    0:54:16 is to talk less and listen more.
    0:54:17 – I love that.
    0:54:19 And what is your secret to profiting in life
    0:54:23 and profiting does not need to be related to finances?
    0:54:24 – It’s gonna sound strange,
    0:54:28 but I think it’s to be generous, to help other people,
    0:54:32 to use a Boy Scout thing to leave the campsite
    0:54:34 better than you found it.
    0:54:38 I really think that that is the way to live a good life.
    0:54:41 It allows you to profit in all senses of the word.
    0:54:44 I think it has a professional benefit over time,
    0:54:46 certainly not in the short term.
    0:54:48 Over time, it has a professional benefit,
    0:54:50 but more than anything else,
    0:54:53 it allows you to look at your life on a day, on a week
    0:54:56 and say, I did something, I contributed,
    0:54:58 I made the world a little bit better.
    0:54:59 – I love that.
    0:55:01 And where can our listeners go learn more about you
    0:55:02 and everything that you do?
    0:55:06 – You can go to my website, which is danielpink.com,
    0:55:09 P-A-N-I-E-L-P-I-N-K.com.
    0:55:13 I’ve got a free newsletter, I’ve got free resources,
    0:55:15 I got all kinds of groovy stuff.
    0:55:18 – Amazing, we’re gonna link all that in the show notes.
    0:55:21 Dan, thank you again for coming on Young and Profiting Podcast.
    0:55:24 (upbeat music)
    0:55:26 (upbeat music)
    0:55:29 (upbeat music)
    0:55:31 (upbeat music)
    0:55:35 [MUSIC PLAYING]
    0:55:44 [BLANK_AUDIO]

    As a bestselling author and leading voice on human behavior, Daniel Pink has spent years studying the emotions that shape our lives. But there’s one feeling that seems universally taboo: regret. In a world that often embraces a ‘no regrets’ mantra, Daniel Pink sees things differently. He believes regret can be a powerful guide—a spotlight revealing our true values and priorities. In this episode, Daniel digs into the science behind regret and explains why facing our missteps head-on can help us make better decisions and avoid repeating the same mistakes. 

    In this episode, Hala and Daniel will discuss: 

    (00:00) Introduction  

    (03:21) Daniel Pink’s Personal Journey with Regret

    (05:50) Understanding Counterfactuals and Regret

    (09:03) The Value of Regret in Personal Growth

    (19:16) Research on Common Regrets

    (22:25) Deep Structure of Regrets

    (26:07) Foundation Regrets: The Impact of Small Decisions

    (26:45) Moral Regrets: The Weight of Right and Wrong

    (27:32) Connection Regrets: The Drift in Relationships

    (30:35) Inaction vs. Action: The Rules of Regret

    (32:56) Life Lessons from Regret: Reach Out and Take Action

    (39:10) Dealing with Regret: Inward, Outward, Forward

    (46:59) The Benefits of Regret: A Path to a Better Life

    (49:58) Final Thoughts and Advice for a Profitable Life

     

    Daniel Pink is a bestselling author, keynote speaker, and thought leader. In 2011, he was named one of Thinkers50’s top 50 most influential minds. He was also the host and co-executive of the television series “Crowd Control,” a National Geographic program about human behavior that aired in more than 10 countries. He also hosts a popular master class on sales and persuasion. He has written for several notable publications, including Fast Company, The Sunday Telegraph, The New York Times, Harvard Business Review, The Atlantic, Slate, and Wired. He is the author of seven books, the latest being The Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward. His books cover topics like business, work, creativity, and behavior. They have won multiple awards, have been translated into 42 languages, and have sold millions of copies around the world. 

    Connect with Daniel:

    Website: https://www.danpink.com/ 

    Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/danielpink/ 

    Twitter: https://twitter.com/DanielPink

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/danielpink/

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    Daniel’s Website: https://www.danpink.com/   

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  • Mel Robbins: The Let Them Theory, Build a Business and Life on Your Terms | E329

    AI transcript
    0:00:03 Today’s episode is sponsored in part by Airbnb,
    0:00:06 Open Phone, Shopify, Rocket Money, and Indeed.
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    0:00:24 and respond faster with shared numbers, AI, and automations.
    0:00:26 Get 20% off your first six months
    0:00:29 when you go to openphone.com/profiting.
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    0:00:33 that helps you grow your business.
    0:00:36 Sign up for a $1 per month trial period
    0:00:39 at Shopify.com/profiting.
    0:00:40 Rocket Money is a personal finance app
    0:00:44 that helps you find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions,
    0:00:47 monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills.
    0:00:50 Sign up for free at RocketMoney.com/profiting.
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    0:00:58 Get a $75 sponsored job credit at Indeed.com/profiting.
    0:01:00 Terms and conditions apply.
    0:01:03 As always, you can find all of our incredible deals
    0:01:06 in the show notes or at youngandprofiting.com/deals.
    0:01:09 – The moment you have an instinct to move,
    0:01:10 you have to move within five seconds
    0:01:12 or your brain will kill your motivation to act.
    0:01:14 – When you had the five second rule come out,
    0:01:17 it was such a big hit and it actually was a huge inspiration
    0:01:20 for me to start my podcast in 2018.
    0:01:22 – My secret to success is very simple.
    0:01:24 I get out of fucking bed when I don’t feel like it.
    0:01:25 End of story.
    0:01:26 – And there’s no timeline, right?
    0:01:30 You started your first book, 49, 54,
    0:01:31 starting your production company,
    0:01:33 50 years old starting your podcast.
    0:01:35 – Yes, you’re never gonna get what you want
    0:01:36 if you don’t begin.
    0:01:38 And if you don’t know what you want,
    0:01:39 here’s how you figure that out.
    0:01:41 There’s one thing in life you can never control.
    0:01:42 It’s other people.
    0:01:43 The Let Them Theory is the single most powerful thing
    0:01:44 I’ve ever discovered.
    0:01:48 It is a simple mindset tool that shows you immediately
    0:01:50 what is in your control and what is not in your control.
    0:01:51 And here’s how you use it.
    0:01:53 There’s two steps.
    0:01:54 That’s step one.
    0:01:55 And then the second step is–
    0:01:58 – So Let Them is all about releasing control.
    0:01:59 – Yes.
    0:02:01 – Why are we so hardwired for control to begin with?
    0:02:04 – Because if you’re in control, then you feel safe.
    0:02:05 But the problem is–
    0:02:13 (upbeat music)
    0:02:24 – YapGang, we’ve got a special treat for you
    0:02:25 in store today.
    0:02:28 I recently had the chance to do a special
    0:02:32 live in-person interview with none other than Mel Robbins.
    0:02:35 Mel is somebody who I’ve looked up to for most of my career.
    0:02:37 And she’s not only a New York Times bestselling author,
    0:02:39 but she’s also the host
    0:02:42 of the super popular Mel Robbins podcast.
    0:02:44 Her brand new book, The Let Them Theory,
    0:02:47 offers a groundbreaking approach to reclaiming your life
    0:02:50 from the burdens of others’ expectations.
    0:02:52 In this conversation, we’re gonna uncover some
    0:02:55 of the pivotal moments that shaped Mel’s career.
    0:02:57 Now, this is the first time that Mel is appearing
    0:03:00 on the podcast, so I really wanted to spend some time
    0:03:02 on the lessons that she’s learned along the way
    0:03:04 of her incredible success.
    0:03:06 We’re also gonna hear some of her innovative strategies
    0:03:11 for overcoming adversity and unlocking our true power.
    0:03:13 So Mel has focused the last decade of her career
    0:03:16 helping millions of people with their internal struggles
    0:03:17 and self-improvement.
    0:03:19 And now she’s moving on to helping us deal
    0:03:21 with our external environments,
    0:03:25 namely our relationships with her powerful Let Them Theory.
    0:03:27 We’re gonna be focusing on the Let Them Theory
    0:03:29 in the last half of this conversation,
    0:03:30 and it is so transformative.
    0:03:33 I can’t wait for you guys to hear all about it.
    0:03:36 If you wanna see this interview live in person on video,
    0:03:38 go hop over to my YouTube channel right now.
    0:03:40 It’s called Young and Profiting.
    0:03:42 If not, enjoy my conversation
    0:03:44 with the legendary Mel Robbins.
    0:03:47 Welcome to Young and Profiting Podcast, Mel.
    0:03:50 – Well, thank you for inviting me, and thank you.
    0:03:51 I’m so excited to talk to you.
    0:03:52 I’m so excited.
    0:03:55 I’ve been following your work for such a long time.
    0:03:58 I actually first found out about you in 2017
    0:04:00 when you had the five second rule come out.
    0:04:02 It was such a big hit, and like millions of people,
    0:04:06 I was listening to it on repeats that entire year.
    0:04:08 And it actually was a huge inspiration for me
    0:04:11 to start my podcast in 2018.
    0:04:11 – Wow.
    0:04:13 – So you have personally really impacted me,
    0:04:16 and I just wanna say thank you for everything you’ve put out
    0:04:19 in the world for being so relatable down to earth
    0:04:22 and just sharing what’s moved for yourself
    0:04:24 in your own life to help other people.
    0:04:28 – Well, I really appreciate you acknowledging the difference
    0:04:30 that the five second rule
    0:04:33 and that countdown technique, five, four, three, two, one,
    0:04:35 move, how it helped you.
    0:04:37 But I wanna say back to you,
    0:04:40 you have to keep the credit ’cause you did the work.
    0:04:41 – Oh.
    0:04:41 – No, I’m serious.
    0:04:43 It is easy to talk about motivation.
    0:04:45 It’s easy to give people advice.
    0:04:47 It’s easy to tell the person
    0:04:49 who’s spending time with us together today
    0:04:52 our stories and the things that work for us.
    0:04:56 But knowledge is cheap and it’s free.
    0:04:59 And if you don’t know how to achieve your goals,
    0:05:02 go to Google, type in how do I do this?
    0:05:05 And AI will spit it out and then say,
    0:05:07 what does a day in the life of somebody who’s launching this
    0:05:10 and successfully in five weeks look like?
    0:05:12 There’s your map.
    0:05:14 But that’s the easy part.
    0:05:17 The hard part is making yourself do it,
    0:05:19 particularly on the days when you don’t feel like it.
    0:05:21 And so I wanna acknowledge you
    0:05:24 for the fact that you both grabbed the knowledge
    0:05:25 and then you put it into action.
    0:05:27 And that’s what makes you different.
    0:05:29 That is what explains my success.
    0:05:30 You are listening to this right now
    0:05:31 and spending time with us
    0:05:34 because you actually want to achieve big goals.
    0:05:37 So I know that about the person that is listening
    0:05:40 and choosing to spend time listening to this.
    0:05:41 But I’m gonna tell you some.
    0:05:43 This conversation that you’re about to listen to
    0:05:46 means shit if you don’t actually convert it to action.
    0:05:48 And that’s what we’re gonna talk about.
    0:05:49 Tools, but then it’s gonna be to you
    0:05:51 to take the baton and go.
    0:05:53 – And speaking of that,
    0:05:54 I was really surprised to find out
    0:05:56 that when you were first starting out,
    0:05:58 you did this TED Talk.
    0:06:00 And you didn’t even know it was a TED Talk.
    0:06:02 TED Talk didn’t really even exist at that point.
    0:06:04 It was the starting point of TED Talk.
    0:06:08 You got convinced to do your first speaking event ever.
    0:06:10 And you thought you blew it.
    0:06:11 – Oh my gosh, yes.
    0:06:14 So just to put a little back step on this,
    0:06:16 this would have been 2011.
    0:06:18 So I’m basically your grandmother now.
    0:06:20 If you think of this being however many years ago,
    0:06:23 over a decade ago, TED was not a thing.
    0:06:24 TED was some secret thing
    0:06:27 that fancy people went to in Seattle.
    0:06:28 They weren’t even online.
    0:06:31 And so I get asked by a friend
    0:06:33 if I would give a speech about career change.
    0:06:35 And she said, look,
    0:06:37 a friend of mine is putting on some event in San Francisco
    0:06:39 and they’re looking for somebody
    0:06:40 to talk about career change, Mel.
    0:06:42 And I immediately thought about you.
    0:06:43 And look, I don’t think that’s a compliment.
    0:06:46 If I’m the first person that you think of
    0:06:48 because it means I’ve bounced from one career to another,
    0:06:50 which I had.
    0:06:51 And she said, here’s the catch.
    0:06:53 They’re offering you two plane tickets
    0:06:55 and two nights at the St. Regis.
    0:06:59 And at the time, my husband and I were $800,000 in debt
    0:07:01 because his pizza restaurant was failing
    0:07:03 and like complete idiots.
    0:07:05 We had secured it with our life savings, our house,
    0:07:07 our credit cards, everything.
    0:07:09 And so when you’re that in debt,
    0:07:11 do you know what two tickets
    0:07:12 and two nights in a hotel sounds like?
    0:07:14 That sounds like a free vacation.
    0:07:16 So I said, yes.
    0:07:19 And the only time I had ever given a speech
    0:07:22 was in class, in high school,
    0:07:24 during the public speaking course.
    0:07:26 So I said, yes, so fast.
    0:07:29 I wasn’t even imagining a huge auditorium
    0:07:31 and that I would have to get up in front of,
    0:07:34 I don’t know, 500 people and talk.
    0:07:36 And when I stepped on that stage,
    0:07:38 they do not prepare you,
    0:07:40 or at least they didn’t back then,
    0:07:41 the way they probably do now.
    0:07:45 It was sort of like, here you go, here’s your topic, go.
    0:07:47 And if you watch my TED Talk,
    0:07:50 which now has, I don’t know, 33 million views,
    0:07:53 you will notice a minute into that thing
    0:07:55 that I have one of those neck rashes that people get
    0:07:57 when they’ve had too much to drink
    0:07:58 and they’re like really blotchy
    0:08:03 because I was having a complete panic attack.
    0:08:05 I’m darting around the stage,
    0:08:07 I’m talking all over the place
    0:08:11 and near the end of the speech, I forgot how to end it.
    0:08:15 And that was one of the defining moments of my life.
    0:08:18 And there’s a theme about defining moments in my life.
    0:08:19 I don’t know what your defining moments are like,
    0:08:23 but mine usually involve embarrassment, too much alcohol,
    0:08:26 bankruptcy, desperation, panic attack.
    0:08:29 And in that moment when I froze,
    0:08:31 I couldn’t remember what to say.
    0:08:34 And so I all of a sudden blurted out this thing,
    0:08:37 the five second rule, which you know, which you follow,
    0:08:39 which I’m sure the person listening knows
    0:08:41 is this little motivation hack.
    0:08:43 And I’d never shared it with anybody
    0:08:45 and I couldn’t think what else to say.
    0:08:48 And I just went, oh, there’s this thing I do.
    0:08:49 I call it the five second rule.
    0:08:51 The moment you have an instinct to move,
    0:08:52 you have to move within five seconds
    0:08:56 or your brain will kill your motivation to act.
    0:08:59 I walked off that stage and I thought that was it.
    0:09:00 And that was not it.
    0:09:03 That was the beginning of something extraordinary.
    0:09:05 – And so your email was flooded,
    0:09:07 people were using the five, four, three, two, one
    0:09:10 to get up, do what they need to do.
    0:09:11 – Yes.
    0:09:14 – You did not share this fully with the world
    0:09:15 for three years.
    0:09:16 – Correct.
    0:09:18 – You felt like you weren’t ready to give advice.
    0:09:19 Who would want to listen to you?
    0:09:22 You felt like you didn’t really know the signs behind it.
    0:09:23 So how did you build up the confidence
    0:09:26 to then put it out to the world
    0:09:28 and put in the rats, quite frankly?
    0:09:29 – It’s a great question.
    0:09:32 And as you’re listening to this conversation,
    0:09:34 whether you’re in a car or you’re at the gym
    0:09:37 or you’re watching us on YouTube,
    0:09:40 there is something that you want to do in life.
    0:09:43 Whether it’s launching a business
    0:09:46 or becoming an influencer or monetizing social
    0:09:49 or building a YouTube following or publishing books
    0:09:52 or maybe it’s starting your own podcast.
    0:09:53 I don’t know what that thing is.
    0:09:56 Maybe you want to become a touring musician.
    0:09:57 Maybe you want to start a fashion line.
    0:09:58 There is something in your heart.
    0:09:59 Maybe you want a Lambo.
    0:10:00 I don’t know.
    0:10:01 It’s your goals.
    0:10:03 Whatever it is that you want, I’m here to tell you
    0:10:08 that you do not need anybody’s permission
    0:10:12 and you do not need to have it all figured out.
    0:10:14 In fact, you’re never gonna have it all figured out.
    0:10:19 And every single day that you talk yourself out of beginning
    0:10:23 or taking one step forward is a day
    0:10:25 that you’re keeping yourself locked
    0:10:27 in a prison of your own making.
    0:10:30 Because if you know something that you want,
    0:10:33 how dare you withhold it from yourself?
    0:10:35 How dare you talk yourself out of it?
    0:10:37 How dare you sit there
    0:10:41 and spend more time and energy manufacturing excuses
    0:10:43 and worrying about what other people think?
    0:10:46 You get one life and no one is coming to save you.
    0:10:47 No one is coming to do the work for you.
    0:10:52 Nobody is gonna pick you from obscurity and make you a star.
    0:10:54 Nobody is gonna build the business that you want to build.
    0:10:57 And while you’re sitting there drinking with your buddies,
    0:10:58 bitching about your current job
    0:11:01 or you are sitting there telling yourself,
    0:11:03 I don’t know what to do and me, me, me, me, me, me.
    0:11:05 Your whole life is waiting for you.
    0:11:09 There’s literally a door right in front of you
    0:11:11 that is waiting for you to reach out
    0:11:13 and freaking turn the knob and open it.
    0:11:15 And I’m gonna tell you something.
    0:11:17 My secret to success is very simple.
    0:11:19 I get out of fucking bed when I don’t feel like it.
    0:11:20 End of story.
    0:11:23 And if the five second rule taught me anything, it’s this.
    0:11:27 You will never feel ready to do the work.
    0:11:31 You will never feel like you are capable
    0:11:32 of achieving what you want.
    0:11:34 You will never, ever, ever feel like
    0:11:37 it’s your right to say this.
    0:11:41 And so you have to learn the skill of doing the actions
    0:11:43 that are aligned with your values, your character,
    0:11:46 and your dreams when you don’t feel like it.
    0:11:48 And that’s a skill.
    0:11:49 And every one of us sits around,
    0:11:51 I used to sit around and wait to be motivated.
    0:11:53 Motivation is complete and utter garbage
    0:11:55 because it’s never there when you need it.
    0:11:57 And I even hate all this bullshit out there now
    0:11:59 about discipline and willpower.
    0:12:01 Forget it.
    0:12:06 You can actually feel lazy and exhausted and unmotivated.
    0:12:08 And you can still do it.
    0:12:13 And sitting around waiting for the feeling to strike you,
    0:12:16 that is a recipe that will lead you to your death bed.
    0:12:18 And you’ll be one of those people that they study
    0:12:21 that say, oh man, my biggest regret is
    0:12:23 I didn’t let myself be myself.
    0:12:25 I never went for the things that I wanted to do.
    0:12:27 I was so worried about what my dad thought
    0:12:29 or my mom thought or my friends thought
    0:12:31 that I never started.
    0:12:34 And if you don’t start now, because you say you’re not ready
    0:12:36 or you’re not qualified or whatever,
    0:12:37 then the next excuse is gonna be,
    0:12:40 well, I should have started then and now I’m too late.
    0:12:44 And then the next excuse is gonna be, well, I’m too old.
    0:12:46 Or I have kids or I have a mortgage or I have this
    0:12:48 or I have that or I have people that depend upon me
    0:12:50 or I’ve been in this job for 10 years.
    0:12:52 So it’s all bullshit.
    0:12:57 It’s all something you manufactured in your own head.
    0:12:59 And I get fired up about it because it’s sad.
    0:13:00 You don’t have to be like this.
    0:13:01 You don’t have to live your life like this.
    0:13:04 You do not have to let your mother’s opinion
    0:13:06 dictate what you do.
    0:13:09 – I love what you did because I feel like your book
    0:13:10 wouldn’t have been as big as a success,
    0:13:13 the five second rule, had you just put it out right away.
    0:13:15 You took the steps to do what you needed
    0:13:17 to be ready to do that.
    0:13:19 You did free speaking gigs.
    0:13:20 You spoke all over the world.
    0:13:23 You became the number one female speaker.
    0:13:24 You researched.
    0:13:27 You got the science and you built up the confidence
    0:13:29 so that once you actually put out the book,
    0:13:31 the world was ready to receive it.
    0:13:34 – Well, I think there’s also something else that happened.
    0:13:36 When everything started to build for me.
    0:13:38 And again, this goes to the point where
    0:13:39 the first skill is starting
    0:13:41 because you’re never gonna get what you want
    0:13:43 if you don’t begin.
    0:13:46 So you have to actually commit to starting.
    0:13:48 And there’s very simple way you do it.
    0:13:49 You just get clear about what you want.
    0:13:51 And if you don’t know what you want,
    0:13:53 here’s how you figure that out.
    0:13:55 Just say, I don’t want what I have.
    0:13:58 Literally, if you don’t know what direction to point,
    0:14:00 just know, well, where I am is not it.
    0:14:02 So I need to take a look at where I am
    0:14:04 and the way that I go through my day
    0:14:07 and I need to reverse it or do the opposite
    0:14:09 or make a change because that’s gonna pivot you
    0:14:11 in a different direction.
    0:14:14 And I truly believe that you’re one decision away
    0:14:16 from a completely different life.
    0:14:18 That doesn’t mean you achieve the success
    0:14:20 that you want with one decision.
    0:14:21 It means that with one decision,
    0:14:24 and for me, that decision was getting out of bed
    0:14:25 when I didn’t feel like it.
    0:14:29 Getting out of bed when I was $800,000 in debt.
    0:14:31 Getting out of bed and going for a run
    0:14:34 even though I didn’t feel like it and it was snowing
    0:14:37 and it’s not gonna make a dent in the debt
    0:14:40 and the fear that I have, but it’s gonna make me know
    0:14:42 that no matter what’s going on around me,
    0:14:43 I can five, four, three, two, one,
    0:14:47 still do something that reminds me
    0:14:50 that I’m still in control in small ways.
    0:14:54 And so for me, when the TED Talk took off,
    0:14:57 I didn’t write a business plan, I didn’t.
    0:15:00 I just started having people say,
    0:15:01 “Hey, Mel, will you come speak?”
    0:15:04 And then when I figured out that everybody else
    0:15:05 was getting paid, first of all,
    0:15:08 I felt like the world’s biggest flipping idiot.
    0:15:10 And for those of you that are obsessed
    0:15:13 with influencer culture and affiliate marketing
    0:15:15 and all this stuff, I guarantee you,
    0:15:18 you waste probably 10 hours a week
    0:15:21 just looking at other people
    0:15:23 who have built what you wanna build.
    0:15:27 And that is also a recipe for disaster
    0:15:29 because you will start to convince yourself
    0:15:32 that they already took it, that you can’t do it,
    0:15:34 and you’re looking at it wrong.
    0:15:36 There is a formula to everything.
    0:15:38 And so here I am at this point in my life
    0:15:41 where I need money, I still need to pay my bills
    0:15:43 and pay off my debt.
    0:15:45 People are starting to ask me to speak.
    0:15:48 I’m realizing everybody else at every one of these conferences
    0:15:51 that I’m going to and I’m off in the little side room
    0:15:54 doing my thing, everybody else is getting paid.
    0:15:56 And so there’s always a formula.
    0:16:01 And it’s your inability to wipe away the excuses
    0:16:03 and stop comparing yourself
    0:16:05 and stop talking yourself out of it
    0:16:07 that keeps you from realizing
    0:16:11 there’s a simple formula for everything.
    0:16:13 In fact, you are so generous
    0:16:17 because you put out content that provides a roadmap.
    0:16:20 You tell the stories from your own career
    0:16:22 and building your business.
    0:16:25 And in those stories are takeaways.
    0:16:27 You are literally selling advertising
    0:16:31 and monetizing brand partnerships for podcasts
    0:16:34 that the person that’s listening to this right now
    0:16:38 listens to and you share how you do it all the time.
    0:16:40 And so again, case in point,
    0:16:43 the problem isn’t I don’t know how to do that.
    0:16:46 Yes, you do because there’s people like you
    0:16:50 that put out content that actually teach people
    0:16:51 how to do it.
    0:16:53 And that’s a gift.
    0:16:56 And how sad is it that you know and you see the steps?
    0:16:57 This was me, by the way.
    0:16:59 This is why I get so fired up about it.
    0:17:02 Because every day, just like I see, you probably see
    0:17:05 people like the person who’s listening to us right now
    0:17:07 who has in their heart what they want
    0:17:10 and they are actively working against themselves.
    0:17:12 And there’s not a single person on the planet
    0:17:14 that can take anything from you.
    0:17:16 Nobody can block your path to success.
    0:17:17 Only you can do that.
    0:17:20 – Let’s hold that thought and take a quick break
    0:17:21 with our sponsors.
    0:17:25 Hello, young and Profiters.
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    0:19:02 Yeah, fam, when I first started this podcast,
    0:19:05 my amazing volunteer team helped me out.
    0:19:06 But as my business grew,
    0:19:09 we needed to hire real talent with real experience.
    0:19:11 And it became overwhelming
    0:19:13 because I’d had to sort through piles
    0:19:15 and piles of resumes and interviews.
    0:19:17 And then I discovered the easy way to hire quickly.
    0:19:19 And that’s Indeed.
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    0:19:33 I’m glad I found Indeed when I did
    0:19:35 because hiring now is a breeze.
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    0:19:41 23 hires were made according to Indeed data worldwide.
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    0:19:59 Join the three million businesses worldwide
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    0:20:05 And listeners of this show will get a $75 sponsored
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    0:20:13 Just go now to indeed.com/profiting
    0:20:14 and support our show
    0:20:17 by saying you heard about Indeed on this podcast.
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    0:20:21 Need to hire?
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    0:20:26 Hey app bam, launching my LinkedIn secrets masterclass
    0:20:28 was one of the best decisions
    0:20:30 that I’ve ever made for my business.
    0:20:33 And I didn’t have to figure out all the nuts and bolts
    0:20:35 of creating a website for my course.
    0:20:38 I needed a monthly subscription option.
    0:20:40 I needed chat capabilities.
    0:20:42 I needed a laundry list of features
    0:20:46 to enable what I was envisioning with my course.
    0:20:47 But here’s the thing.
    0:20:50 All I had to do was literally lift a finger
    0:20:51 to get it all done.
    0:20:54 And that’s because I used Shopify.
    0:21:00 Shopify is the easiest way to sell anything,
    0:21:02 to sell online or in person.
    0:21:05 It’s the home of the number one checkout on the planet.
    0:21:07 And Shopify is not so secret secret as Shoppay,
    0:21:10 which boosts conversions up to 50%.
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    0:21:17 If you’re into growing your business,
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    0:21:47 that’s Shopify.com/profiting.
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    0:21:56 (bell dings)
    0:22:03 – You started your TED Talk 41 first book, 49, 54,
    0:22:06 starting your production company,
    0:22:08 50 years old starting your podcast, right?
    0:22:09 There’s no timeline.
    0:22:10 And something that I always talk about on the show
    0:22:11 is scale stacking.
    0:22:13 I’ve seen it with my own career.
    0:22:16 And I feel like the best entrepreneurs,
    0:22:19 they got a lot of experiences, they did a lot of jobs,
    0:22:20 they figured out what they’re good at,
    0:22:21 what they hate, what they like,
    0:22:23 and then they designed their dream career and job.
    0:22:25 I feel like that’s what I did with myself.
    0:22:27 I literally designed the perfect job for me
    0:22:28 that I’m so good at.
    0:22:30 And I feel like you’ve done the same.
    0:22:32 I was binging your podcast recently.
    0:22:35 They’re just so good when I listened to it.
    0:22:36 I learned about the let them theory.
    0:22:38 That’s what I was like mostly focused on.
    0:22:42 But what I really learned is that you are so friendly
    0:22:46 and that you really try to be relatable and down to earth
    0:22:48 and you make everybody feel really loved.
    0:22:50 And you’ve got this friend approach
    0:22:52 to what you do on the podcast.
    0:22:53 So I wanna ask you about that.
    0:22:54 – Sure.
    0:22:58 – But first I wanna ask you about your experiences
    0:23:01 that you feel like led you to have this amazing career,
    0:23:05 to be a number one podcaster and author and speaker.
    0:23:07 What are the experiences that led up to that,
    0:23:08 that people don’t realize?
    0:23:11 – Everything, absolutely everything.
    0:23:13 Life is the greatest teacher.
    0:23:17 If you’re willing to look at life like one giant lesson.
    0:23:20 And I choose to believe that absolutely everything
    0:23:25 that has happened to me is divinely ordered for a reason.
    0:23:27 Absolutely everything.
    0:23:30 See, I don’t learn what I need to learn
    0:23:34 when I’m successful and I’m soaring and I’m at the top.
    0:23:38 I learn for whatever reasons when I’m at the bottom
    0:23:41 of the barrel or when I am in a hole
    0:23:45 or when I am struggling or when things are really hard.
    0:23:48 I feel like courage and strength
    0:23:52 and that secret sauce that makes you successful
    0:23:54 and makes you who you are.
    0:23:56 Those are the things that happen
    0:23:58 in the hardest moments of your life.
    0:24:02 And they also happen in the smallest, quietest moments
    0:24:04 if you’re paying attention.
    0:24:06 And I’m gonna share some examples for this
    0:24:07 because first things first,
    0:24:10 as you’re spending time with us together today,
    0:24:14 I want you to think about the fact
    0:24:16 that if you stand in the present moment
    0:24:18 and you look backwards,
    0:24:20 you can see how absolutely every single thing
    0:24:22 that has happened to you, good or bad,
    0:24:26 scary or beautiful, terrorizing or fantastic,
    0:24:30 every single thing has led you to this moment.
    0:24:33 And that you are never starting from scratch,
    0:24:36 you’re always starting from experience
    0:24:40 because life has tested you, life has taught you,
    0:24:43 life has prepared you for this exact moment.
    0:24:46 And I also choose to believe,
    0:24:50 and this is part of what I believe is my amazing success,
    0:24:54 is that I choose to believe, as I stand in this moment,
    0:24:56 that just like everything in the past
    0:24:59 has prepared me for where I am now,
    0:25:03 that this moment is preparing me
    0:25:05 for where I am going next.
    0:25:09 And I don’t need to know when in the future
    0:25:12 I’m going to look up and go, oh my God,
    0:25:16 it was that particular day in Manhattan
    0:25:19 sitting down with you that I learned X.
    0:25:23 And that has equipped me for this moment now.
    0:25:26 And so some of the things that have informed
    0:25:29 the way that I think about media,
    0:25:31 the way that I think about my business,
    0:25:32 ’cause I’m kind of old school.
    0:25:36 I really think that my business is about one person.
    0:25:40 It’s about the one person that has hit play
    0:25:44 and that is taking time to listen to this conversation.
    0:25:47 And just like when I take a walk with a friend,
    0:25:50 that my intention is to know that whoever it is
    0:25:52 that is listening, yes, you right now
    0:25:55 as you’re driving your car, as you’re at the gym,
    0:25:59 that you are the person I’m talking to, because I am.
    0:26:00 And I also know that everything that I’m about
    0:26:02 to share with you is relevant
    0:26:04 for somebody that you care about.
    0:26:06 And so whether you get a tremendous amount out of this
    0:26:08 or you just feel a little bit better,
    0:26:13 you know somebody that is going to get something out of this,
    0:26:16 which means you can use this conversation
    0:26:18 to strengthen a relationship with somebody.
    0:26:21 And so I have always approached everything that I do
    0:26:25 with this sort of how can I help and one person.
    0:26:28 And there’s small moments in my life that really inform me.
    0:26:31 And I’m gonna share this story because,
    0:26:36 like there’s this obsession with virality and monetization
    0:26:39 and all of this stuff in business, which is important.
    0:26:44 And another thing that has really helped me is I 1000% believe
    0:26:47 in full ownership of everything that I do.
    0:26:50 And so I control everything because I believe in what I do.
    0:26:53 So why on earth would I give somebody else
    0:26:56 a meaningful stake when I’m the one doing all the work?
    0:27:00 When I’m the one that created the five second rule
    0:27:01 and created the let them theory.
    0:27:04 And so why would I not keep control of these things?
    0:27:07 And why would I trust someone else’s authority
    0:27:10 more than my own to be able to market these things?
    0:27:13 Because I also understand digital media,
    0:27:15 which unlike a printed book,
    0:27:18 digital media is gonna live forever.
    0:27:20 Everything that you do on social media
    0:27:23 or on your YouTube channel or all of it
    0:27:25 is something you can monetize forever.
    0:27:27 So just like Bruce Springsteen doesn’t wanna give
    0:27:30 his catalog of music away, he’s gonna sell it
    0:27:32 and have a library that he owns the rights of.
    0:27:35 I think about things that I invest my time in now
    0:27:37 as what do I actually own?
    0:27:41 Because that is an asset versus a piece of content
    0:27:43 that you’re singularly monetizing.
    0:27:47 And so for me, when I look back at my life,
    0:27:52 there are defining moments and they’re surprising moments.
    0:27:56 And I’m gonna take you on a quick highlight tour
    0:28:00 because those defining moments actually explain why I am
    0:28:04 one of the most intentional people you will ever meet.
    0:28:08 And I weave it through everything I do in business.
    0:28:11 So when I was a public defender, my first job, 1994,
    0:28:13 I graduated from Dartmouth College,
    0:28:14 then I go to Boston College Law School.
    0:28:17 My first job was as a public defender
    0:28:18 for the Legal Aid Society.
    0:28:20 I represented people here in New York City
    0:28:23 that had been arrested and accused of crimes
    0:28:26 and they could not afford an attorney.
    0:28:29 And I would meet them after they had been arrested
    0:28:31 and thrown into a jail cell
    0:28:35 and then transported to 100 Center Street
    0:28:38 where they would be held in a cage behind a judge
    0:28:41 and they would be brought into court
    0:28:43 to be read the charges against them,
    0:28:45 to be read their constitutional rights
    0:28:47 and to be assigned an attorney
    0:28:51 and to get a constitutionally mandated bail hearing.
    0:28:54 And I would meet my clients
    0:28:57 because these are people who could not afford representation.
    0:28:59 They were assigned by the state
    0:29:00 because you have a constitutional right
    0:29:04 to be represented in a court of law by a licensed attorney.
    0:29:07 And I would walk back behind the judge
    0:29:10 and I would meet my client for the very first time
    0:29:11 in that setting.
    0:29:14 They were behind bars and I had a little folder
    0:29:17 that had the complaint from the police.
    0:29:18 And if they had ever been in trouble before,
    0:29:20 I had a history of that.
    0:29:22 If they had, there wouldn’t be that and that was it.
    0:29:26 And so that experience taught me a number of things.
    0:29:29 First of all, it taught me that no matter the circumstances
    0:29:31 under which you meet somebody,
    0:29:33 that I choose to believe
    0:29:36 in the innate worthiness of human beings.
    0:29:39 I do, I choose to treat people with dignity
    0:29:44 and I choose to see bigger possibilities for everybody,
    0:29:47 no matter what circumstances I may meet you in.
    0:29:52 And one of the things that hit me in my heart
    0:29:54 is that when we would go out
    0:29:58 and it was time for my client that I was representing
    0:30:01 to be charged, formally charged,
    0:30:04 part of that arraignment hearing is a bail hearing.
    0:30:08 And one of the things that the courts consider
    0:30:11 is obviously the charges against you
    0:30:12 and the severity of them.
    0:30:16 Your history, some of your life story,
    0:30:19 but the big one is also ties to the community.
    0:30:22 I cannot tell you how many times
    0:30:27 we would walk out into that courtroom in 1994, 95 and 96
    0:30:29 and nobody would be there.
    0:30:32 No one, over and over and over again.
    0:30:35 And it just killed me
    0:30:39 that in one of the scariest times in a person’s life,
    0:30:41 no one was there.
    0:30:46 And I have never, ever, ever forgot what that felt like
    0:30:53 and I have made it a mission, my mission to show up for people.
    0:30:57 Whether that means that I’m leaving a public bathroom
    0:31:00 and I take a moment and thank the human being
    0:31:02 that is cleaning the public bathroom
    0:31:05 because that’s a job where you feel invisible
    0:31:09 or it is truly apologizing and thanking people
    0:31:11 for their patients when I’m late.
    0:31:16 And so that has informed me about how I wanna treat people
    0:31:19 and how I want people to experience me
    0:31:23 that I’m the kind of person that actually cares
    0:31:26 and that sees something bigger for you.
    0:31:29 No matter where you are, no matter what you’ve done,
    0:31:31 no matter what circumstances you face,
    0:31:35 I believe in the extraordinary possibilities that you have
    0:31:37 because I understand something.
    0:31:39 I understand that your past is not your fault.
    0:31:43 I understand that if you aren’t doing well,
    0:31:45 it’s not a matter of willpower,
    0:31:47 it’s a matter of skill building.
    0:31:49 And I also believe that absolutely everybody,
    0:31:51 if you focus on your mindset,
    0:31:54 if you focus on your actions,
    0:31:58 if you focus on how you process your emotions,
    0:32:01 that absolutely anybody can do better and be better
    0:32:02 and feel better.
    0:32:07 And the other thing that experience taught me
    0:32:11 is just that it’s the simplest things that people remember.
    0:32:14 And this is a marketing message, okay?
    0:32:17 The more complicated you make things,
    0:32:21 the less likely anybody is going to do it.
    0:32:23 The more intellectual you are,
    0:32:25 you know what you’re communicating when you’re intellectual
    0:32:26 that I think I’m smarter than you.
    0:32:27 – Yes, superiority, yeah.
    0:32:28 – Yes, right?
    0:32:31 And so I’m obsessed with making things simple.
    0:32:34 And so these are core values
    0:32:38 about really showing up in a way that people feel seen,
    0:32:39 that people know that you believe in them,
    0:32:42 that people know that you respect their time,
    0:32:45 that people know that I see the possibility in you
    0:32:46 because I do see it.
    0:32:48 This isn’t just some bullshit that I say,
    0:32:49 I actually believe it.
    0:32:53 The other thing that really struck me is another moment.
    0:32:55 So there was this whole thing that happened
    0:32:56 when I started speaking,
    0:32:58 that when I first started speaking, I thought, okay,
    0:33:00 if you’re in the speaking business
    0:33:03 and somebody is paying you a ridiculous amount of money
    0:33:06 to stand on a stage, you better be dressed nicely.
    0:33:08 And so even though it was like at a time,
    0:33:12 and so I’m talking probably like 2015, 2014,
    0:33:14 something like that, I start getting paid
    0:33:15 and I’ll never forget this.
    0:33:19 I was at the MGM in Vegas and I was speaking for remax
    0:33:21 and there were like 8,000 people in the audience.
    0:33:23 And it was one of the biggest speeches
    0:33:26 that I was ever going to give at the time, of course.
    0:33:30 And so I at the time was dressing like a news anchor.
    0:33:32 So I would wear heels.
    0:33:33 You look beautiful today.
    0:33:36 Normally I look not so pulled together.
    0:33:38 But so I would look great on a stage.
    0:33:39 So I’m in heels, which I never wear
    0:33:41 so I can’t walk in them very well.
    0:33:43 And I’m wearing a dress.
    0:33:46 And what happened is I have terrible ADHD
    0:33:49 and I get to Vegas and it turns out
    0:33:52 when I open up my suitcase at 7.30 in the morning,
    0:33:55 I have left my high heels in a hotel room in Miami.
    0:33:57 And what I have in my suitcase are Birkenstocks.
    0:33:58 – Oh no.
    0:33:59 – And these sparkly high tops.
    0:34:01 That’s it.
    0:34:04 And I have tech check in 20 minutes.
    0:34:06 Most people would have stressed diarrhea
    0:34:09 and then just derail the situation.
    0:34:10 And I’m like, fuck it.
    0:34:12 Okay, I guess we’re going with the high tops
    0:34:15 because we’re not wearing Birkenstocks on this stage.
    0:34:17 And remember how I said
    0:34:19 that your life is always teaching you
    0:34:21 and it’s either in the struggles
    0:34:25 or it’s in these quiet little moments.
    0:34:28 So I get backstage.
    0:34:30 And when you’re backstage speaking at a big event,
    0:34:34 it’s very dark and there’s like a whole city
    0:34:37 behind the stage of people in production
    0:34:39 and everybody’s dressed in all black
    0:34:40 and there’s equipment everywhere
    0:34:42 and tables everywhere and cables everywhere.
    0:34:44 And then there’s all this tenting
    0:34:47 that is the back of the stage.
    0:34:48 And you’re kind of walking around
    0:34:49 and it’s hard to see.
    0:34:51 And normally, especially if it’s like eight o’clock
    0:34:54 in the morning and Vegas for crying out loud.
    0:34:56 And you’re speaking at a massive corporate conference
    0:34:58 for remax, the client was.
    0:34:59 And I was going to give a speech
    0:35:01 about the five second rule.
    0:35:02 Everyone’s tired.
    0:35:04 So I walk back there
    0:35:08 and they’re miking me up for the tech check
    0:35:10 that we’re going to do before 8,000 people
    0:35:11 come into the MGM.
    0:35:15 And one of the older guys dressed in all black,
    0:35:16 he’s got a graying beard.
    0:35:18 He turns you like, go kicks.
    0:35:23 And it was the first time that anyone backstage,
    0:35:25 even though I was super nice and friendly
    0:35:28 and not dramatic at all and not high maintenance,
    0:35:33 it was the first time anybody had ever commented like that.
    0:35:37 And that was this small moment that I was like, take note.
    0:35:39 And so then I go up on stage
    0:35:42 and as I walked on stage, I felt different.
    0:35:45 And that was a small moment that was like, take note.
    0:35:48 And normally if you’re a woman who’s presenting,
    0:35:53 most people, whether it’s male, female, they, everybody,
    0:35:56 when a woman walks on stage, if you’re too pretty,
    0:35:57 if your heels are too high,
    0:35:59 most people kind of cross their arms
    0:36:01 and are like, this bitch thinks she looks better
    0:36:02 than the rest of us.
    0:36:04 And there’s a distance that happens
    0:36:07 because you’re focused on what you look like
    0:36:10 and you’re focused on presenting yourself in a way
    0:36:14 that is projecting something.
    0:36:15 Well, God, when I walked on stage
    0:36:17 in these stupid high tops that are all sparkly
    0:36:21 in this dress that didn’t match and my dumb glasses,
    0:36:23 people were like, what is this?
    0:36:25 And so there was an open arm thing.
    0:36:28 And so typically it would take me like five to 10 minutes
    0:36:32 and a couple laughs to get to that point in a speech
    0:36:37 that I call, I’d have a cup of coffee with her moment.
    0:36:41 Which is now somebody’s listening and enjoying
    0:36:43 instead of judging, take note.
    0:36:48 And from that moment on, couple things.
    0:36:52 Number one, in any industry that you’re in,
    0:36:55 being able to be excellent at the thing
    0:37:00 is the minimum requirement, the minimum requirement.
    0:37:03 You shouldn’t be on a stage if you’re not excellent.
    0:37:07 You shouldn’t be charging people if you’re not excellent.
    0:37:10 You need to take pride in your performance,
    0:37:12 which means you need to practice.
    0:37:15 This is my opinion, I’m gonna let you do whatever you want.
    0:37:18 But really don’t hang your hat on the fact
    0:37:23 that you’re fantastic at the thing they’re paying you to do.
    0:37:24 You wanna be exceptional?
    0:37:29 Be fucking fantastic at the things no one pays you to do.
    0:37:34 What made me an extraordinary force
    0:37:35 on the corporate circuit
    0:37:40 and what has earned me extraordinary amounts of money
    0:37:44 is yes, there is, in my opinion, almost no one better.
    0:37:47 I don’t know of anyone better on stage.
    0:37:49 And I’m sure there’s extraordinary people out there,
    0:37:52 but I will claim that for myself for sure.
    0:37:55 Category of one of one when it comes to what I do.
    0:37:58 But I know for sure there’s no one better
    0:38:01 when it comes to what I do offstage.
    0:38:03 Because I learned very quickly
    0:38:06 that it’s the little things that you do
    0:38:09 that make people feel taken care of,
    0:38:12 that then make people want to work with you,
    0:38:15 that make people want to hire you.
    0:38:17 And I’ll give you a simple example.
    0:38:19 When I was doing 115 speeches a year,
    0:38:21 Starbucks, JP Morgan, Microsoft,
    0:38:23 like on and on and on and on from one event
    0:38:25 to the other event, to this event, to that event,
    0:38:28 30,000 people, 100 people with a CEO retreat, this one.
    0:38:31 Every time I landed in a new city,
    0:38:36 I would always text the event planner, not the CEO,
    0:38:37 not the person that hired me.
    0:38:39 I would text the event planner,
    0:38:41 a fun selfie of me getting off the plane.
    0:38:45 I’m here, thank you, excited to see you.
    0:38:46 And you know what that did?
    0:38:48 That immediately made the person
    0:38:50 who was responsible for tracking me
    0:38:54 and who was responsible for managing a million things love me.
    0:38:57 Because I just took one thing off their list
    0:38:59 and made their job easy.
    0:39:01 And when you do that, guess what people do?
    0:39:04 They hire you again, they recommend you.
    0:39:07 And people are obsessed with the people up here
    0:39:10 when you need to be amazing with the people
    0:39:12 that serve the people up here.
    0:39:15 Because those are the folks that have the power.
    0:39:17 Those are the ones that get everything done.
    0:39:19 And it is the exact same principle
    0:39:21 if you want to grow a social media audience.
    0:39:23 It’s responding to comments.
    0:39:26 It’s actually tracking your name or your brand
    0:39:28 and going to their account and responding.
    0:39:31 That is the exact same thing
    0:39:34 that I was doing in person in the speaking business.
    0:39:36 And so those are examples
    0:39:39 of how there are little things that I’m obsessive about.
    0:39:41 Like everybody in my company on a production day
    0:39:43 actually wears name tags.
    0:39:46 Because I used to host a daytime talk show.
    0:39:47 I’ve been at a bazillion events.
    0:39:50 It’s impossible to remember people’s names.
    0:39:54 And so when you walk into 143 studios in downtown Boston,
    0:39:56 you’re going to walk into 25 people.
    0:39:58 We’re going to stand up and welcome you together.
    0:40:00 Everybody has a name tag. Why?
    0:40:02 Because I want you to feel at ease.
    0:40:04 I want you to feel comfortable.
    0:40:08 I want the people that work for me to feel seen and recognized.
    0:40:10 When you’re done with the podcast and we walk out,
    0:40:12 you get a standing ovation.
    0:40:14 Because we’re grateful that you’re here.
    0:40:17 And so every tiny little thing I do
    0:40:22 is with intention on making a particular type of impact.
    0:40:24 And so there are stages to this.
    0:40:26 I mean, first, you got to get started.
    0:40:28 Second, you got to learn how to just keep going.
    0:40:31 Because the other thing that is a skill is stamina.
    0:40:35 I believe that success is as much about not quitting
    0:40:37 as anything else. Totally.
    0:40:38 As anything else.
    0:40:41 And it may surprise you to learn that with this book,
    0:40:44 The Let Them Theory, this is truly the first time
    0:40:48 that I’ve had a major moment
    0:40:52 in terms of the normal press cycle.
    0:40:56 I have a lot of friends because I’m in mastermind groups.
    0:40:59 And you actually represent and sell ads
    0:41:02 and do brand partnerships for a lot of my friends.
    0:41:04 And that’s another thing I’m going to tell you
    0:41:07 that has been a secret to success.
    0:41:11 And it’s that the very people you’re competing against
    0:41:12 should be your closest friends.
    0:41:13 It’s so true.
    0:41:15 Why do you believe that’s true?
    0:41:18 Because I feel like when you reach higher levels,
    0:41:20 people aren’t actually that competitive.
    0:41:21 They’re more collaborative.
    0:41:24 They want to help you and you guys can help each other.
    0:41:27 And so I felt like working closely
    0:41:28 with the people that are my competitors
    0:41:30 is the quickest way to just get ahead.
    0:41:35 That and I think it’s true at any level.
    0:41:38 We’re just so insecure when we’re getting started
    0:41:41 that we don’t think we have anything to offer.
    0:41:45 And the truth is your family has no idea what you’re doing.
    0:41:47 Your friends don’t understand what you’re doing.
    0:41:50 And the people that you think you’re competing with
    0:41:53 are the only people on the planet that get it.
    0:41:57 And so the very people that you’re distancing yourselves from
    0:41:59 should be your closest allies
    0:42:02 because otherwise you are going to feel alone
    0:42:04 because your family’s not in this business
    0:42:06 so they don’t understand the stress.
    0:42:09 Your friends don’t share the same aspirations
    0:42:11 so they don’t know what you’re going through.
    0:42:13 But the people at your same level,
    0:42:17 this is your squad because they get it.
    0:42:19 And honestly, that’s why I’m so excited
    0:42:21 about the let them theory
    0:42:24 and the things that I’m talking about now
    0:42:27 because for far too long, for far too long,
    0:42:30 I would look at people that I admired
    0:42:32 like Jay Shetty and Lewis Howes and Jenna Kutcher
    0:42:34 and Amy Porterfield and Trent Sheldon.
    0:42:38 And I would go, oh, oh, well, they’ve already done a podcast.
    0:42:42 I guess I can’t do one or they’re super successful.
    0:42:45 They’re in competition with me.
    0:42:47 And what I have learned too late,
    0:42:49 I’m so happy I understand this
    0:42:51 and I’m thrilled for you as you’re listening to us
    0:42:53 to really embrace what I’m about to tell you.
    0:42:56 Success is in limitless supply.
    0:42:59 Happiness, friendship, all of these things.
    0:43:04 Money, Lamborghinis, they’re in limitless supply.
    0:43:07 No other human being is blocking your way.
    0:43:09 In fact, they’re leading the way.
    0:43:13 And if you have an insecure and jealous
    0:43:17 and competitive and comparison attitude,
    0:43:21 you will turn other people into the biggest excuse
    0:43:24 for why you can’t do what you need to do.
    0:43:27 And it is a joke
    0:43:28 because there’s only one person
    0:43:32 that can actually block your way and it’s you.
    0:43:35 And so learning how to let other people be successful
    0:43:38 and let other people be rich
    0:43:39 and let other people figure it out
    0:43:42 and let them get engaged and let them have babies
    0:43:44 and let them have a million dollars in the bank
    0:43:46 and let them do this and let them do that.
    0:43:48 You’re just letting them lead the way.
    0:43:52 – We’ll be right back after a quick break from our sponsors.
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    0:45:32 (whooshing)
    0:45:34 – Let’s move on to the let them theory
    0:45:36 because I can’t wait to dive into this.
    0:45:37 So first leg of your career,
    0:45:40 you really were all about self-improvement,
    0:45:41 internal improvement.
    0:45:45 Now we’re focused on external relationships
    0:45:47 and kind of how to manage relationships.
    0:45:49 So you had this post about a year ago
    0:45:51 that went massively viral,
    0:45:53 where you first introduced the topic.
    0:45:54 What did you say in that post
    0:45:56 and why do you think it was such a phenomenon?
    0:46:01 – So I put up a video, gosh, it was like 18 months ago.
    0:46:05 And I basically was sharing
    0:46:07 about something I had just stumbled on
    0:46:09 because I was being a micromanaging parent
    0:46:11 at my son’s prom.
    0:46:14 And my middle daughter was home from college.
    0:46:17 And you know, like when your mom’s being like super annoying.
    0:46:18 – Yes.
    0:46:20 – And you’re like, “God damn, geez, mom.”
    0:46:21 I was getting like that.
    0:46:23 Well, we’ve all been there, right?
    0:46:25 And it’s just so stupid.
    0:46:27 And my daughter reaches out and grabs my arm
    0:46:29 and yanks me towards her and says,
    0:46:33 “Mom, stop it, you’re being so annoying.
    0:46:36 “Let them, let them, let them run in the rain.
    0:46:37 “Let them eat where they want.
    0:46:38 “Let them do the same, let them.”
    0:46:41 And she just kept saying, “Let them, let them, let them.”
    0:46:45 And it was weird, it just hit me like a ton of bricks.
    0:46:46 Why am I worried about this?
    0:46:48 Why am I stressing about this?
    0:46:49 And for the next couple of days,
    0:46:53 anytime somebody was pissing me off or annoying me,
    0:46:55 or I saw somebody do something online
    0:46:56 that made me feel jealous
    0:47:00 or somebody did something that made the guilt rise up,
    0:47:02 I just started saying, “Let them.”
    0:47:04 Standing in line at a store
    0:47:06 and there’s five people in front of you.
    0:47:10 Beep, beep, beep.
    0:47:11 There’s only one cashier.
    0:47:14 No one’s coming to the other lines.
    0:47:15 How do you feel in that moment?
    0:47:16 – Stressed.
    0:47:18 – Yeah. And then what do you do?
    0:47:22 – Puff and puff, maybe say something under your breath.
    0:47:24 You think you can run the grocery store
    0:47:27 better than the people running it, uh-huh.
    0:47:28 And all along while that’s happening,
    0:47:30 do you know what’s happening?
    0:47:34 You’re actually allowing something to drain your life force.
    0:47:37 And you are wasting time.
    0:47:41 And you are allowing something that’s out of your control
    0:47:43 to steal your time and energy.
    0:47:47 And blind you to the fact that even in moments
    0:47:49 where you feel stressed out or hurt,
    0:47:52 or you’re worried, or you’re scared,
    0:47:54 that there is always something in your control.
    0:47:59 And what’s in your control is never out there, ever.
    0:48:01 There’s one thing in life you can never control.
    0:48:01 It’s other people.
    0:48:02 You can’t control what they think.
    0:48:03 You can’t control what they do.
    0:48:06 You can’t control the timeline upon which they change
    0:48:07 if they change at all.
    0:48:09 You can’t control if they’re gonna love you.
    0:48:12 You can’t, you cannot control another human being.
    0:48:13 And yet we try.
    0:48:16 And it’s the greatest source of frustration in your life.
    0:48:18 But if you turn it back,
    0:48:21 you’ll see there’s three fingers always pointing back at you
    0:48:23 when you point at somebody else
    0:48:24 because there are three things
    0:48:26 that are always in your control.
    0:48:29 You can always control what you think about what’s happening.
    0:48:34 You can always control what you choose to do or not do.
    0:48:39 And you can always control how you process your emotions.
    0:48:42 Whether you will let them just run you over
    0:48:43 and then you send that text
    0:48:45 or if you ever crafted one of those emails
    0:48:47 like single space and it’s like super long
    0:48:49 and you take like 90 minutes and you’re like, send.
    0:48:50 – Yep.
    0:48:51 – That never solves anything.
    0:48:54 You always get to choose how you respond.
    0:48:56 And that’s how you take responsibility for your life.
    0:48:57 And let’s talk about responsibility.
    0:49:00 It’s the ability to respond.
    0:49:02 That’s what taking responsibility means.
    0:49:04 – You give such a great example
    0:49:07 about being left out on a girls trip.
    0:49:10 I had this happen to me a couple of years ago.
    0:49:12 My high school best friends, they all went on a beach trip
    0:49:14 and I was really hurt.
    0:49:16 I had a boyfriend that I was really focused on
    0:49:18 and so we weren’t spending as much time together
    0:49:21 but I still considered them my best friends.
    0:49:24 And I was so hurt and I went about it in the worst way.
    0:49:24 – What’d you do?
    0:49:25 – I was a victim.
    0:49:29 I wrote everybody a text, like what happened.
    0:49:30 – What did they say?
    0:49:32 – They were just like, you’re always busy.
    0:49:34 We didn’t even think about it.
    0:49:35 What do you care?
    0:49:36 We’re allowed to make plans.
    0:49:38 And it made me look like a victim
    0:49:40 and I took all my power away.
    0:49:42 So I’d love for you to explain the let them theory
    0:49:47 of how we can actually use this to take back our power.
    0:49:51 It’s a great example and being hurt
    0:49:52 because you’re not included
    0:49:55 is the sign that you’re mentally well.
    0:49:57 It’s what you do with that
    0:50:00 that dictates your experience of life.
    0:50:05 And like you, all too often when I have either been left out
    0:50:08 of something or people didn’t even think of me
    0:50:09 ’cause I haven’t been around
    0:50:11 ’cause I’ve been busy building a business.
    0:50:12 So why would they think of me?
    0:50:15 Or if it’s when I see somebody else succeeding
    0:50:19 and then I feel sorry for myself, right?
    0:50:21 Feeling those things is normal.
    0:50:23 It’s what you do next that matters.
    0:50:26 So the let them theory is the single most powerful thing
    0:50:27 I’ve ever discovered.
    0:50:29 I’m so excited for you to implement this.
    0:50:33 Seriously, I am a changed human being.
    0:50:35 I’ve never felt more peaceful and powerful.
    0:50:36 So what is the let them theory?
    0:50:38 It is a simple mindset tool
    0:50:42 that shows you immediately what is in your control
    0:50:44 and what is not in your control.
    0:50:46 And here’s how you use it.
    0:50:47 There’s two steps.
    0:50:50 Anytime that you are in a situation
    0:50:52 where you’re starting to feel stressed out
    0:50:54 or you’re starting to get pissed off
    0:50:55 or you’re hurt or you’re annoyed
    0:50:57 or you’re getting clingy or you’re becoming a victim
    0:51:00 or you’re feeling the rage come up, you’re gonna say let them.
    0:51:01 That’s step one.
    0:51:05 When you say let them, you detach from what’s happening.
    0:51:09 And you recognize that I can’t control this person
    0:51:11 what they think, say or do or feel
    0:51:14 or I can’t control what’s happening with traffic right now.
    0:51:15 So I am gonna let them.
    0:51:18 And when you say let them, a couple of things happen.
    0:51:21 First of all, you get this rush of superiority
    0:51:25 because it’s like you’re going, I see what’s happening
    0:51:26 and I value my time and energy
    0:51:28 and I know I’m not gonna waste it
    0:51:31 trying to manage this situation or allowing this person
    0:51:33 or this situation to impact me negatively.
    0:51:34 I’m gonna let them.
    0:51:38 And so it’s amazing ’cause you detach.
    0:51:40 And then the second step is you say let me.
    0:51:42 And this is the most powerful part
    0:51:44 because this is where you take your power back.
    0:51:45 – Yeah.
    0:51:49 – When you say let me, you then remind yourself
    0:51:51 that there’s always something in your control
    0:51:53 and what’s always in your control are the three things.
    0:51:55 I can choose what to think about this.
    0:51:58 I can choose how to respond to this or not.
    0:52:01 And I can choose what I’m gonna do with my emotions.
    0:52:04 And the uses are just endless
    0:52:05 because we live in a moment of time
    0:52:09 where everything feels out of control.
    0:52:11 And people are stressed out
    0:52:14 and people are acting in really inconsiderate
    0:52:15 and dismissive ways
    0:52:18 and people are super emotionally immature.
    0:52:21 Let them ’cause so are you.
    0:52:23 We all are right now.
    0:52:25 And when you say let them, it’s not like an FU.
    0:52:29 It’s really about giving people grace and space
    0:52:32 and also putting up a boundary and reminding yourself.
    0:52:35 It’s not your job to make people happy.
    0:52:38 It’s not your job to manage other people’s stress.
    0:52:40 It’s not your job to make sure
    0:52:42 that everybody’s expectations are met.
    0:52:45 It’s not your job to run a grocery store.
    0:52:50 Your job is to focus on taking actions
    0:52:53 that really align with your values and your priorities.
    0:52:56 And your job is to think in a way that makes you feel good.
    0:52:57 I’ll give you a quick example.
    0:52:59 We were in an elevator this morning
    0:53:02 and the thing got stuck between the 11th and 12th floor.
    0:53:05 I was in there for 50 minutes
    0:53:08 and the fire department had to come
    0:53:11 but it was a good 15 minutes
    0:53:13 before anybody came to do anything.
    0:53:15 And I sat there on the floor of that elevator
    0:53:18 and I kept saying, let them, let them take a long time.
    0:53:19 Let them figure this out.
    0:53:21 And let me remind myself
    0:53:23 that the only thing I can control right now
    0:53:26 is just staying calm and sitting on the floor
    0:53:28 and thinking that this is gonna be okay.
    0:53:29 Let them.
    0:53:31 And it worked.
    0:53:33 And so in your business,
    0:53:36 let’s just take everybody that listens to you, right?
    0:53:38 I want you to think about that moment
    0:53:41 where you are posting something on social media
    0:53:44 and you go and you pick the real
    0:53:46 or you pick the photo, right?
    0:53:47 And then what do you do?
    0:53:48 Then you’re like, oh, should it be that photo?
    0:53:49 Should it be this one?
    0:53:50 And then you put a filter on
    0:53:51 and then you take the filter off
    0:53:53 and then you size it and then you see.
    0:53:54 And it’s one thing to do this
    0:53:56 because you have a business strategy
    0:53:58 and you’re thinking about your business strategy.
    0:53:59 It’s another thing to do this.
    0:54:01 And then when you start to rate the caption,
    0:54:02 you’re like, is this too much?
    0:54:04 Should I put an emoji?
    0:54:06 Is that CTA too, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah?
    0:54:07 And then you start to question, for who?
    0:54:08 For who?
    0:54:10 Before you even post something.
    0:54:11 What are you doing?
    0:54:13 You’re giving power to what other people
    0:54:16 are going to think and do in response
    0:54:19 to what you’re about to post.
    0:54:22 And by the way, you have no control
    0:54:25 over what they think and do in response.
    0:54:27 And so instead of managing it,
    0:54:28 I have a different approach.
    0:54:30 Let them think something negative.
    0:54:32 Let them unfollow you.
    0:54:33 Let them judge you.
    0:54:34 Let them roll your eyes
    0:54:35 because I got news for you.
    0:54:36 You need to use the let me part.
    0:54:40 Let me remind myself that my social media is for me.
    0:54:41 My social media is for my business.
    0:54:44 My social media is my self-expression.
    0:54:46 It’s not for my family or my fricking friends
    0:54:48 from college or my brother or my sister.
    0:54:51 My social media is for me.
    0:54:53 Let me express myself.
    0:54:55 Let me market my business.
    0:54:59 Let me show up and put this reel out
    0:55:02 even though I’m kind of nervous.
    0:55:03 Feeling nervous about something
    0:55:06 that you care about is a sign that you care about it.
    0:55:09 It’s not a sign that things aren’t gonna go well.
    0:55:12 And so by saying let them,
    0:55:15 it’s extraordinary what’s happened in my life.
    0:55:18 – So let them is all about releasing control.
    0:55:19 – Yes.
    0:55:20 – Keeping your peace.
    0:55:21 – Yes.
    0:55:24 – Why are we so hardwired for control to begin with?
    0:55:26 ‘Cause I think a lot of it comes from a good place.
    0:55:28 And I also think entrepreneurs
    0:55:30 are especially controlling.
    0:55:31 – Absolutely.
    0:55:33 So it’s gonna be a dance because
    0:55:35 you’re never gonna get rid of the need
    0:55:36 of trying to control things.
    0:55:39 It is a hardwired survival instinct.
    0:55:40 And it kind of makes sense, right?
    0:55:43 Because if you’re in control of what you’re thinking
    0:55:45 and you’re in control of your decisions
    0:55:47 and you’re in control of your environment
    0:55:49 and you’re in control of your spending
    0:55:51 and you’re in control of your marketing platform
    0:55:54 and your strategy that you’re doing,
    0:55:55 then you feel safe.
    0:55:57 You feel confident.
    0:55:58 You feel good.
    0:55:59 Here’s the problem.
    0:56:04 That if you do something that makes me worried or upset,
    0:56:05 guess what?
    0:56:07 Now I feel like I’m out of control.
    0:56:09 And here’s where we make the mistake.
    0:56:11 I then go to try to control you.
    0:56:14 But the problem is you have a hardwired need
    0:56:16 to be in control of yourself too.
    0:56:18 And so I go to push against you,
    0:56:21 which means you’re hardwired to push back
    0:56:24 because you are wired to control what you’re doing.
    0:56:25 And this is one of the biggest things
    0:56:28 that you’re gonna learn in reading the Let Them Theory,
    0:56:29 just using it in your life.
    0:56:32 Is that pushing other people
    0:56:35 and expecting other people to change,
    0:56:37 trying to motivate other people to change,
    0:56:39 it actually doesn’t create change.
    0:56:41 It creates resistance to change.
    0:56:43 There is one thing on this planet
    0:56:47 you will never, ever, ever, ever be able to control
    0:56:49 and that’s whether or not another person changes
    0:56:52 because people only change when they’re ready to change.
    0:56:55 And people only are ready to change
    0:56:58 when they’re ready to do the very hard work to change.
    0:56:59 And this presents another problem.
    0:57:01 And see, I’ve been working against the fundamental wiring
    0:57:04 of human beings for 54 years.
    0:57:06 It was learning to say let them and let me
    0:57:10 that taught me how to work with the laws of human nature
    0:57:12 and with brain wire.
    0:57:15 Let’s just talk about how people change.
    0:57:18 We are hardwired to move toward what’s easy.
    0:57:20 Hardwired, it’s why we sit on the couch
    0:57:22 instead of going to the gym.
    0:57:25 It’s why you sit and watch other people’s content
    0:57:26 instead of posting your own.
    0:57:29 Because if it were easy to do it,
    0:57:31 everybody would have a million dollars.
    0:57:34 And that’s why you gotta learn how to take action
    0:57:36 even when it feels hard.
    0:57:39 See, nobody gets sober until being drunk is harder
    0:57:43 than doing the work to change because it takes work.
    0:57:45 And we know this and yet when we’re looking at somebody
    0:57:47 and we’re like, you’re not working hard enough.
    0:57:48 Why aren’t you getting better grades?
    0:57:50 How come you haven’t gotten a better job?
    0:57:52 Why haven’t you started this business?
    0:57:54 We forget that if it were easy,
    0:57:56 they’d already be doing it.
    0:57:58 And so they’ll let them theory and saying,
    0:57:59 let them, let them struggle.
    0:58:01 Let them be unmotivated.
    0:58:03 Let them judge your choices.
    0:58:05 Let them be confronted by the fact
    0:58:07 that you’re now super interested in fitness
    0:58:08 and entrepreneurship.
    0:58:10 And they’re questioning why you don’t drink all the time.
    0:58:13 Let them and then let me remind myself
    0:58:17 that I get to choose what’s a priority for me.
    0:58:20 And so you will start to learn
    0:58:23 that the more time you spend expecting other people
    0:58:26 to change, the more frustrated you’re gonna be.
    0:58:27 And the more that you say let them
    0:58:29 and you learn to let people be who they are
    0:58:31 and let them have their questions
    0:58:33 and let them change on their own timeline
    0:58:35 and let them not be interested
    0:58:37 in the same things that you’re interested in.
    0:58:39 Learn how to love people exactly as they are
    0:58:40 and exactly as they aren’t.
    0:58:42 The better your relationships are gonna get.
    0:58:46 It’s really so simple and it’s beautiful
    0:58:48 because it creates space
    0:58:51 where the people in your life get to be who they are.
    0:58:54 And you get to focus on yourself,
    0:58:56 not like you’re out of my life
    0:58:58 but as a responsible adult.
    0:59:02 And the let me part is all about you taking responsibility
    0:59:05 for acting in a way that you value.
    0:59:07 So let me talk about another thing
    0:59:09 that happens a lot in business.
    0:59:10 So as you’re growing your business,
    0:59:13 you’re gonna start to find conflict
    0:59:16 between what your friends and family want you to do
    0:59:19 and what your business partners want you to do.
    0:59:23 And a lot of people really start to struggle
    0:59:25 when they feel like business partners are disappointed
    0:59:27 that you can’t show up at something
    0:59:29 or your family or friends are disappointed
    0:59:31 that you’re not around as much.
    0:59:34 You need to say let them, let them be disappointed.
    0:59:35 And here’s why.
    0:59:37 Isn’t it a wonderful thing
    0:59:39 if your business partners disappointed
    0:59:41 that you can’t show up for something?
    0:59:42 Doesn’t that mean they want you there?
    0:59:44 I mean, we’re so afraid of it.
    0:59:45 And yet what’s the alternative?
    0:59:46 I don’t want her there.
    0:59:48 She’s like horrible.
    0:59:50 Same thing with your parents or your friends.
    0:59:51 If you’re not able to show up
    0:59:54 ’cause you’ve been just focused on entrepreneur,
    0:59:55 let them be disappointed.
    0:59:57 It means they love you and they wish you were there.
    0:59:59 That doesn’t mean you have to change.
    1:00:01 – Can I ask you another question about business?
    1:00:04 So as I was internalizing the let them theory,
    1:00:05 I kept thinking about,
    1:00:08 well, what about if I have like a bad employee?
    1:00:09 – Let them be bad.
    1:00:11 – Let them get fired?
    1:00:13 – First of all, you can’t control them.
    1:00:15 So you need to let them reveal who they are.
    1:00:17 But then here comes the hard part in business.
    1:00:20 Let me be honest with myself.
    1:00:23 Have I actually been clear about my expectations?
    1:00:24 Probably not.
    1:00:28 Have I explained what I think the outcome is
    1:00:29 that is successful?
    1:00:31 Probably not.
    1:00:32 Probably not.
    1:00:34 Am I micromanaging everybody?
    1:00:36 Because I don’t explain what I want
    1:00:39 and the outcomes that you can measure success by.
    1:00:40 And since I have not done that,
    1:00:42 I constantly question everybody.
    1:00:45 So I swoop in and I micromanage,
    1:00:47 which only trains your team that you don’t trust them,
    1:00:50 which makes your team feel like they can’t make a decision
    1:00:51 ’cause you’re gonna come in
    1:00:52 and override everything anyway,
    1:00:55 which creates paralysis in your organization.
    1:00:57 If you have a failing employee,
    1:01:00 it is usually because you have broken process
    1:01:04 or you have unclear communication and expectations,
    1:01:08 or there is a missing skill set in the seat
    1:01:10 and they’re in the wrong seat.
    1:01:12 And unless you as the leader,
    1:01:16 take full responsibility for your part,
    1:01:17 which most entrepreneurs,
    1:01:21 most entrepreneurs are the shittiest operators on the planet.
    1:01:23 I happen to be one of them.
    1:01:25 You are in entrepreneurship
    1:01:29 because entrepreneurship is artistry, it’s creation.
    1:01:33 That is not the same thing as rhythm, systems,
    1:01:36 and operations, and clear communication.
    1:01:37 In fact, it’s the opposite.
    1:01:42 And so your energy and your talent will create something
    1:01:45 and then you will realize that you’ve created something
    1:01:46 and have zero systems
    1:01:51 and zero standard business operating principles.
    1:01:54 You have no outcomes and key results that you’re measuring.
    1:01:57 And so people don’t know what success looks like.
    1:01:59 And if you only measure success
    1:02:01 based on dollars in the bank
    1:02:04 or the number of views on a podcast episode,
    1:02:06 that is something you cannot control.
    1:02:08 You have to, as the leader,
    1:02:12 let me take responsibility for my job,
    1:02:15 which is to actually create an environment
    1:02:17 where people can succeed.
    1:02:21 And if people don’t have clear outlines of what they own,
    1:02:22 if they don’t have clear outlines
    1:02:24 of what is going to make them successful,
    1:02:26 and if they don’t have the freedom,
    1:02:29 let them to execute against that
    1:02:32 in the way that actually gives them self-expression,
    1:02:34 they will hate working for you
    1:02:36 and your business will not do as well as it can.
    1:02:39 It always comes back to you.
    1:02:41 And so yes, let them reveal
    1:02:42 that they’re not doing a good job,
    1:02:45 then instead of doing this, they suck.
    1:02:46 First say, do I suck?
    1:02:47 – Exactly.
    1:02:49 – Because chances are you do.
    1:02:50 And I definitely do.
    1:02:54 If I am not behind a microphone or creating content
    1:02:56 or doing business development,
    1:03:00 which by the way is a form of creating content and artistry,
    1:03:03 ’cause everything that I do is about expansion and intention.
    1:03:05 If I’m not doing one of those three seats,
    1:03:08 I’m not in the right seat in my business.
    1:03:10 And I am the problem.
    1:03:13 The business, my folks that work for me,
    1:03:15 they’re not the problem, I’m the problem.
    1:03:18 And so I choose as the leader that my business coach,
    1:03:22 David Gerberts always says, leaders bring the weather.
    1:03:25 And if you have a stressed out
    1:03:30 and a panic emergency type culture,
    1:03:31 that’s because of you.
    1:03:33 You bring the rain or you bring the sun,
    1:03:35 and by the way, your energy
    1:03:37 and whether or not you take the time
    1:03:39 to make sure people feel supported
    1:03:41 and to make sure they know the things are doing right
    1:03:44 and to give them the tools and the skills that they need
    1:03:46 to succeed on the things that aren’t going well.
    1:03:48 If you don’t do that, then you’re not a good leader.
    1:03:49 – Yeah.
    1:03:52 So at Yap, we’ve been around for six years now.
    1:03:55 So had lots of growing pains,
    1:03:59 but now we really do have an amazing onboarding process,
    1:04:01 KPIs, all those things.
    1:04:04 I have managers and a COO that helps me
    1:04:05 and everything like that.
    1:04:07 And sometimes there are people
    1:04:09 that just can’t get up to speed.
    1:04:11 – Great, then let them knock it up to speed
    1:04:15 and then let me give very direct feedback quickly.
    1:04:18 And don’t dance around it with the positivity sandwich.
    1:04:22 The way you have that is directly with respect.
    1:04:24 You basically say this is not gonna be a fun conversation.
    1:04:28 And I was hoping that things were gonna go very differently.
    1:04:29 And I have very high standards.
    1:04:32 And this is a 19 word sentence that you’re gonna steal
    1:04:35 that has been researched at Yale and Harvard.
    1:04:37 It’s called the magic sentence, 19 words.
    1:04:40 I have very high expectations for this team
    1:04:41 and I believe you can meet them
    1:04:43 and that’s why I’m gonna tell you this feedback.
    1:04:47 And then you tell them the feedback and you let them.
    1:04:49 Because what somebody does with that feedback,
    1:04:51 that’s what they control.
    1:04:54 You actually having the courage to deliver feedback?
    1:04:57 See, I actually think it’s cruel to not tell somebody.
    1:04:58 – Exactly.
    1:04:59 – They’re not performing.
    1:05:00 – They don’t grow if you don’t do that.
    1:05:02 – Well, it’s not about them.
    1:05:05 Do you wanna be in an organization where people think you suck
    1:05:07 and they talk about you in a conference room?
    1:05:09 – Of course not.
    1:05:14 So why would you do that to somebody and not address it?
    1:05:17 People know when they’re not thriving.
    1:05:20 In fact, I personally believe the hardest working person
    1:05:22 in the company is the one who’s not doing well.
    1:05:26 Because they’re in conflict with themselves and they know it.
    1:05:28 And you are either the kind of leader
    1:05:32 who has this bullshit toxic male kind of mentality.
    1:05:37 Boo, you know, or you take responsibility as a leader
    1:05:40 to create an environment in which people can thrive.
    1:05:42 And if people are not doing well
    1:05:44 and they’re not meeting expectations before you start
    1:05:47 barking about or labeling people,
    1:05:49 which is toxic behavior on your part,
    1:05:51 take a moment and ask yourself critically,
    1:05:53 let me ask myself,
    1:05:55 have I actually explained the outcomes of measure success?
    1:05:57 Have I actually explained what I expect?
    1:05:59 Have I actually given somebody all the information
    1:06:02 that they need in order to succeed?
    1:06:04 Do I even know what skills are required for this job?
    1:06:06 Or am I just throwing somebody in the fire
    1:06:08 and then judging the shit out of them
    1:06:09 when they can’t get the job done?
    1:06:12 Because if you can’t answer those questions for yourself,
    1:06:14 then you’re not the good leader.
    1:06:16 And no one’s gonna succeed in that role.
    1:06:19 And look, there are times where people overestimate
    1:06:23 their qualifications and then they get in a seat
    1:06:24 and they don’t have the skills.
    1:06:28 Let them, let them and don’t overcompensate
    1:06:31 and fix everything and step in and solve the problems.
    1:06:33 Let people fail because if you don’t,
    1:06:36 you won’t see where there’s process missing.
    1:06:41 You won’t see where there’s a skill level missing.
    1:06:44 And you won’t see where you actually are the issue
    1:06:47 because you haven’t created an environment
    1:06:49 for people to succeed.
    1:06:53 – Talk about how letting them actually helps them.
    1:06:54 – I personally feel,
    1:06:56 and this goes with people in your life
    1:06:57 that are struggling too.
    1:06:59 Absolutely anybody can get better.
    1:07:03 And what’s needed is the belief that you can.
    1:07:08 And just a simple roadmap of what you need to do.
    1:07:10 And so at work, what often happens
    1:07:12 is that people start to feel very discouraged
    1:07:15 because you know when you’re not a person
    1:07:17 that people go to on the team.
    1:07:18 You know when things feel off.
    1:07:20 You know when you’re getting passed over.
    1:07:22 You know when people micromanage you
    1:07:26 and you know when people don’t actually trust your work.
    1:07:28 And so I personally think that person
    1:07:32 can still do incredible work in the right environment.
    1:07:33 And at the end of the day,
    1:07:38 feeling like somebody believes in your ability to get better
    1:07:40 creates the space for you to get better.
    1:07:42 If somebody has the respect for you to say,
    1:07:44 I’m gonna give you this feedback
    1:07:46 and this isn’t gonna be a fun conversation.
    1:07:48 Not my favorite thing to talk about,
    1:07:50 but I’m doing it ’cause I actually have high standards
    1:07:52 for this team and I believe you can hit them.
    1:07:54 To me, that’s you saying, I see you.
    1:07:57 We both know you’re not meeting the standards here.
    1:07:59 And what else did I say?
    1:08:00 I think you can meet them.
    1:08:02 This team is special.
    1:08:05 Now I’m appealing to your desire to succeed.
    1:08:10 I’m appealing to the potential that you know is inside you.
    1:08:13 I choose to believe that people do well and they can.
    1:08:16 And if somebody in your team or in your family
    1:08:19 or in your life isn’t doing well,
    1:08:22 then it’s because there’s something missing
    1:08:24 that’s making it so they can’t.
    1:08:26 And it’s almost never willpower.
    1:08:29 It’s usually something small.
    1:08:32 It’s usually just clear communication
    1:08:35 or identifying the skill that would be helpful
    1:08:38 or partnering them with somebody
    1:08:41 so that you create an environment where they can succeed.
    1:08:44 And people also need to feel
    1:08:47 enough space and acceptance and dignity
    1:08:50 so that you feel like the change is your idea.
    1:08:53 Not that it’s getting shoved down your throat
    1:08:55 because nobody wants to change if they know
    1:08:57 that you’re gonna say, see, I told you so.
    1:08:59 And that’s a critical part of this,
    1:09:01 that when you say let them,
    1:09:03 you’re not allowing people to fail.
    1:09:06 You’re actually creating the space for somebody to succeed.
    1:09:09 But the first step is that you have to give people
    1:09:14 the space and the honesty to make it their decision.
    1:09:16 And the other thing that the let them theory is not
    1:09:19 is it’s not allowing somebody to walk all over you.
    1:09:21 It’s not allowing somebody to treat you poorly
    1:09:23 because you’re already doing that.
    1:09:26 When you say let them, you detach
    1:09:29 and you see somebody probably for the first time
    1:09:31 exactly as they are and exactly as they aren’t.
    1:09:35 And you stop doing something, you stop making excuses
    1:09:38 and you stop living in the fantasy and the potential
    1:09:41 and you actually live in the reality.
    1:09:43 You know, as I’m going through this phase
    1:09:45 of this next leveling up in my business,
    1:09:50 I realize it’s on me to level up my expectations of myself.
    1:09:53 It’s on me to get clearer in my communication.
    1:09:57 It’s on me to focus on what’s truly important
    1:09:59 and delete everything that’s not.
    1:10:01 Because another huge thing in business
    1:10:03 is that if everything’s important, nothing is.
    1:10:06 And you cannot allow someone else’s emergencies
    1:10:08 to become your emergency.
    1:10:10 You cannot allow somebody else’s priority
    1:10:12 to become your priority.
    1:10:16 Everything that somebody else is asking of you in business
    1:10:18 is an opportunity.
    1:10:21 But you have to get out of reactive mode
    1:10:24 and get into responding mode.
    1:10:26 Because it’s only in doing that
    1:10:30 that you will actually be intentional and focused
    1:10:32 and you will truly be strategic
    1:10:35 about what actually deserves your time and what doesn’t.
    1:10:38 Because not everything in business does.
    1:10:41 – Mel, I’d love to talk to you about this forever
    1:10:42 but we’re running out of time
    1:10:44 and I did wanna tell everybody that I read
    1:10:45 the let them theory.
    1:10:48 And I feel like it was so impactful for me.
    1:10:50 I know that people have it tattooed on their arms.
    1:10:53 It’s been so helpful for so many people around the world.
    1:10:55 By the time this comes out, your book will be out.
    1:10:57 So I highly recommend that everybody go get it.
    1:10:59 So I end my show with two questions
    1:11:00 that I ask all my guests.
    1:11:02 First, what is one actionable thing
    1:11:05 our young and profitors can do today
    1:11:07 to become more profitable tomorrow?
    1:11:09 – Let them, let them.
    1:11:11 Because all that time and energy
    1:11:13 and power that you’re giving to other people
    1:11:16 as soon as you say let them and then you say let me,
    1:11:18 you actually take that power back
    1:11:20 and you start to protect your time and energy
    1:11:24 and that’s what you need to be profitable and successful.
    1:11:26 – And there’s so much that we didn’t get to cover today,
    1:11:28 guys, she’s got so many great stories,
    1:11:30 so much research in her book about this.
    1:11:32 Definitely recommend it.
    1:11:34 What is your secret to profiting in life?
    1:11:36 And this can go beyond business and financial.
    1:11:40 – Saying no, it’s way more important to say no.
    1:11:41 Because every time you say no,
    1:11:43 you’re actually saying yes to what matters.
    1:11:46 – And working everybody find you and everything that you do.
    1:11:48 – You can find me right here in this conversation,
    1:11:49 right now.
    1:11:51 And one of the most important things you can do
    1:11:53 is take this conversation and send it
    1:11:55 to somebody that you care deeply about
    1:11:56 because you know you feel inspired,
    1:11:58 you know you got tools.
    1:11:59 And one of the best things that you can do
    1:12:01 to build your relationships and connections
    1:12:03 which you need in business and you need for profit
    1:12:06 and you need to be successful is to actually be generous.
    1:12:08 And so be generous with the information
    1:12:10 that you just got today
    1:12:12 because it will make a difference in somebody else’s life.
    1:12:15 – I feel like this was just like a masterclass in business
    1:12:16 and your life stories.
    1:12:18 So thank you so much for joining us today.
    1:12:19 I’m really proud of you.
    1:12:20 – Thank you.
    1:12:21 – Congratulations for everything that you do
    1:12:23 and for the lives that you impact
    1:12:24 and the difference that you’re making.
    1:12:25 – Thank you.
    1:12:33 – Well, that was an epic conversation with Mel Robbins.
    1:12:36 I always feel so energized after hearing her speak
    1:12:39 and her warmth and relatability really shines through
    1:12:40 in everything that she does.
    1:12:42 She is truly who she says she is.
    1:12:44 We did this interview in person
    1:12:46 and I got to meet her face to face
    1:12:50 and she is exactly who she says she is.
    1:12:53 And she’s so good at distilling complex ideas
    1:12:56 into simple practical advice.
    1:12:59 She reminded us, you just got one life
    1:13:00 and nobody is coming to save you.
    1:13:02 Nobody is gonna do the work for you
    1:13:04 or help you get out of your own way.
    1:13:07 You are the only one who can do that
    1:13:09 but you don’t have to have it all figured out
    1:13:10 to get started.
    1:13:13 You just have to commit to starting.
    1:13:15 And like Mel said, if you can do that
    1:13:17 then you might be just one decision away
    1:13:20 from a completely different life.
    1:13:22 It’s never too late to get started.
    1:13:25 There’s no fixed timeline for this.
    1:13:26 Mel was in her late forties
    1:13:28 before things really took off for her
    1:13:30 but she got out of bed every day
    1:13:32 and made sure that it happened
    1:13:34 and you can do the same.
    1:13:36 You have to be realistic though
    1:13:39 and as hard as that is for us entrepreneurs to hear.
    1:13:43 The fact is there are some things we just cannot control
    1:13:45 and that starts with other people.
    1:13:48 You are wasting your own precious time and energy
    1:13:50 if you’re trying to control what other people think,
    1:13:51 say or do.
    1:13:53 You can’t do it.
    1:13:55 And to help us get out of that habit
    1:13:56 of trying to do just that,
    1:13:59 Mel has a simple two-step solution.
    1:14:01 First, say let them.
    1:14:04 Let them detach yourself from the situation
    1:14:06 and let that person do what they’re doing
    1:14:09 even if it’s annoying, frustrating or stupid.
    1:14:11 Let them do it.
    1:14:14 Then take your own power back by saying let me.
    1:14:17 Let me figure out what I can control.
    1:14:19 And one thing you can always control in a situation
    1:14:22 is your own reaction to it.
    1:14:23 All right, gang.
    1:14:25 Thank you for choosing to spend your time
    1:14:26 listening to this conversation.
    1:14:28 I hope you feel inspired.
    1:14:29 But like Mel said,
    1:14:31 it’s not enough to just listen and learn
    1:14:34 and then go back to business as usual.
    1:14:36 You’ve got to take these insights and these tools
    1:14:39 and then turn them into action.
    1:14:40 So what are you waiting for?
    1:14:42 Go, go get started.
    1:14:46 Make that one small decision that could change your life.
    1:14:49 And why not do it in 2025?
    1:14:51 Thanks for listening to this episode
    1:14:52 of Young and Profiting Podcast.
    1:14:55 If you listen, learn to profit it from this conversation
    1:14:57 with the inspiring Mel Robbins,
    1:14:59 then please take the time to share this episode
    1:15:01 with your friends and family.
    1:15:02 It would mean so much to me
    1:15:05 if you shared this podcast by word of mouth.
    1:15:07 We’re growing the show every single day.
    1:15:10 I literally doubled my downloads last year.
    1:15:11 So we’re growing every day
    1:15:15 and it’s because of listeners like you who share the show.
    1:15:17 And if you did enjoy the show and you learned something,
    1:15:20 then please take time to write us a five-star written review.
    1:15:24 We’ve got thousands of reviews across all of our platforms
    1:15:25 because we’ve got awesome listeners like you
    1:15:28 who take the time to write reviews.
    1:15:29 And if you look at my reviews,
    1:15:31 they’re a lot higher and better than most podcasts
    1:15:34 because this podcast is better than most podcasts
    1:15:36 and let people know it.
    1:15:40 Write us a review so that other people tune in.
    1:15:41 I’d really appreciate it.
    1:15:44 It’s my favorite thing to do is to read your reviews.
    1:15:47 And also guys, I recorded this episode in person with Mel.
    1:15:48 So we have it all on video.
    1:15:51 If you want to watch me being a nervous wreck
    1:15:53 with Mel Robbins, check us out on YouTube.
    1:15:56 You can just search young and profiting on YouTube
    1:15:58 to watch that video.
    1:16:01 You can also find me on Instagram @yappithala
    1:16:02 or LinkedIn by searching my name.
    1:16:04 It’s Hala Taha.
    1:16:06 And today I want to give a special shout out
    1:16:09 to our bookings team, Hisham Furkan and Joshua.
    1:16:12 You guys crushed it, securing Mel Robbins.
    1:16:15 We’ve been trying to get this interview for like six years
    1:16:16 and we finally got it.
    1:16:19 And we got it in person on top of that.
    1:16:20 You guys are incredible.
    1:16:21 I appreciate all of you.
    1:16:23 This is your host, Hala Taha,
    1:16:26 AKA the podcast princess, signing off.
    1:16:28 (upbeat music)
    1:16:31 (upbeat music)
    1:16:33 (upbeat music)
    1:16:36 (upbeat music)
    1:16:39 (upbeat music)
    1:16:48 [BLANK_AUDIO]

    On her son’s prom night, Mel Robbins fussed over details that didn’t matter. Her daughter grabbed her arm and said, “Let them. Let them run in the rain. Let them eat where they want. Let them.” Those two simple words hit Mel like a ton of bricks and completely changed how she thinks about control. In this episode, Mel shares some of the pivotal moments that shaped her career, her innovative strategies for overcoming adversity, and how the Let Them Theory can help you navigate business challenges, strengthen relationships, and unlock your true power.

    In this episode, Hala and Mel will discuss: 

    (00:00) Introduction

    (02:57) The Power of Action

    (04:22) Mel’s Unforgettable TED Talk Debut

    (07:00) The 5 Second Rule

    (07:52) Building Unshakable Confidence

    (12:04) Turning Adversity into Strength

    (22:00) The Power of Showing Up for Others

    (30:40) Why Details Matter in Business

    (42:32) Understanding the Let Them Theory

    (51:14) The Let Them Theory in Business

    Mel Robbins is a motivational speaker, the host of The Mel Robbins Podcast, and a bestselling author of several influential books, including her latest, The Let Them Theory. Known for her groundbreaking 5 Second Rule, she has helped millions of people take action and transform their lives. With 30 million views, her TEDx talk made her a recognized voice in behavior change. Mel is also the CEO of 143 Studios, a female-driven media company creating award-winning content for top brands like LinkedIn and Audible. She is a Forbes 50 Over 50 Honoree and one of USA Today’s Top 5 Mindset Coaches.

    Connect with Mel:

    Website: melrobbins.com

    LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/melrobbins 

    Instagram: instagram.com/melrobbins

    TikTok: tiktok.com/@melrobbins 

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    Resources Mentioned:

    Mel’s Books:

    The Let Them Theory: A Life-Changing Tool That Millions of People Can’t Stop Talking About: https://amzn.to/4h6quLh 

    The 5 Second Rule: Transform your Life, Work, and Confidence with Everyday Courage: https://amzn.to/3WdAgTX 

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    Follow Hala Taha

    LinkedIn – linkedin.com/in/htaha/

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