Hala Taha: Keep Your Sanity While Scaling, How to Master Work-Life Balance and Banish Burnout

0:00:05 Today’s episode is sponsored in part by Teachable, Fundrise, Mint Mobile, Working Genius, Indeed,
0:00:06 and Shopify.
0:00:11 Teachable makes it easy for creators to monetize their content with full control.
0:00:15 Head to teachable.com and use code “PROFITING” to claim your free month on their pro-paid
0:00:16 plan.
0:00:20 Grow your real estate investments in minutes with the Fundrise flagship fund.
0:00:26 Add the Fundrise flagship fund to your portfolio with as little as $10 at fundrise.com/profiting.
0:00:29 Save big on wireless with Mint Mobile.
0:00:35 Get your new three-month premium wireless plan for just $15 a month at mintmobile.com/profiting.
0:00:39 Unlock your team’s potential and boost productivity with Working Genius.
0:00:45 Get 20% off the $25 Working Genius Assessment at workinggenius.com with code “PROFITING”
0:00:46 at checkout.
0:00:49 Attract interview and hire all in one place with Indeed.
0:00:53 Get a $75 sponsored job credit at indeed.com/profiting.
0:00:55 Terms and conditions apply.
0:00:59 Shopify is the global commerce platform that helps you grow your business.
0:01:04 Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at Shopify.com/profiting.
0:01:10 As always, you can find all of our incredible deals in the show notes.
0:01:21 Hey, app mam.
0:01:23 Today we are doing something special.
0:01:28 We are going to replay a webinar that I did with BetterHelp called “Keep Your Sanity
0:01:29 While Scaling.”
0:01:35 The webinar is really designed for entrepreneurs with neurodiversity like ADHD, but it’s relevant
0:01:41 for anyone, corporate professionals, freelancers, solopreneurs, entrepreneurs who just want
0:01:44 to live better, more productive lives.
0:01:49 We cover things like why entrepreneurs are more likely to be neurodiverse and have things
0:01:53 like ADHD and bipolar disorder and dyslexia.
0:01:58 We also start to understand all the ways that entrepreneurs have more anxiety and stress
0:02:01 than others and why that is.
0:02:06 We also learn about how entrepreneurs are more lonely than the general public.
0:02:08 We spend less time with our friends and family.
0:02:10 We’re more isolated.
0:02:13 We have relationship problems.
0:02:16 Then we go into ways to maximize your life.
0:02:19 Ways to build in routines with your productivity.
0:02:23 I give some free downloadables that we’re going to put in the show notes that are literally
0:02:25 life-changing.
0:02:32 I’m going over strategies like the ruthless prioritization matrix and the Daily Hustler
0:02:34 Huddle Tracker.
0:02:39 These are two things that are going to transform the way that you handle your tasks throughout
0:02:40 the week.
0:02:42 It is going to make you feel so much more organized.
0:02:44 It is going to make you feel so much more centered.
0:02:50 It puts your work and your personal life at balance because you’re able to plan not only
0:02:55 your work life but also your personal life in a way that’s going to make you feel grateful
0:02:58 and ready to tackle on the week and the day.
0:03:01 Guys, this is going to be an interactive workshop.
0:03:04 This is different than other podcasts that I’ve had.
0:03:06 You want to grab a pen and paper.
0:03:13 You want to make sure that you are ready to work, ready to receive all this amazing information.
0:03:15 The last part of this webinar is all about relationships.
0:03:17 How can we increase our social capital?
0:03:23 How can we dig the well with our relationships before we’re thirsty, before we need anything?
0:03:25 How can we listen better?
0:03:30 Because at the end of the day, relationships is about communication.
0:03:35 When it comes to good communication, it’s really just about meaningful questions and
0:03:36 being a better listener.
0:03:38 I’m really excited to share this with you guys.
0:03:41 I poured my heart and soul into it.
0:03:46 By the way, shout out to our sponsors of this episode, BetterHelp, our sponsors of
0:03:47 this webinar.
0:03:50 I usually put out my courses for hundreds of dollars and we were able to do this for
0:03:53 free because BetterHelp sponsored us.
0:03:59 When it comes to weekly and daily routines, something that all of us entrepreneurs, especially
0:04:03 neurodiverse entrepreneurs, need to keep us on track, weekly therapy is going to be
0:04:05 a game changer.
0:04:08 As entrepreneurs, we often feel like we can’t show any weakness.
0:04:13 Again, we’ve got these stakeholders, employees, families, customers, investors.
0:04:18 We’ve got to make sure we look strong and often that means we’re not really sharing
0:04:22 about our mental health because we don’t have anybody to share it with.
0:04:27 BetterHelp allows you to speak with a third party that’s not going to judge you.
0:04:32 That’s not one of your customers or clients or somebody who you employ.
0:04:38 That’s a safe space for entrepreneurs and you don’t want to DIY your mental health
0:04:39 union profiter.
0:04:44 If you want to try BetterHelp, go to betterhelp.com/profiting for 10% off your first month.
0:04:48 Again, that’s betterhelp.com/profiting for 10% off your first month.
0:04:49 All right, guys.
0:04:51 I’m so excited for this webinar.
0:04:55 Let’s jump right in.
0:04:59 Let’s start off discussing the entrepreneurial mind.
0:05:01 A little game here.
0:05:06 What is the common denominator between all of these amazing entrepreneurs?
0:05:10 Aside the fact that they’re entrepreneurs, what do all these entrepreneurs have in common?
0:05:15 Richard Branson, Elon Musk, Bill Gates, Barbara Corcoran, Jenna Kutcher, and Damon
0:05:16 John.
0:05:17 All right.
0:05:18 We got a lot of answers.
0:05:25 Took action, growth mindset, bold, creative, commitment, had vision, entrepreneur, their
0:05:34 go-getters, think differently, brave, ADHD, highly experienced continuous learning, smiles.
0:05:37 Some people got it partially right, but nobody got it right yet.
0:05:38 All right.
0:05:40 Let’s get the answer up.
0:05:41 Else got it.
0:05:46 They are all highly successful neurodivergent entrepreneurs with mental health conditions
0:05:51 like ADHD, dyslexia, bipolar disorder, and/or autism.
0:05:57 Guys, some of the most successful entrepreneurs in the world were brought about by neurodivergent
0:05:58 founders.
0:06:02 This is becoming more and more of a thing as people do research on entrepreneurs.
0:06:06 They’re realizing that so many entrepreneurs have neurodivergence.
0:06:10 Let me just go back to this slide really quick.
0:06:12 Almost all of these guys have ADHD.
0:06:15 The only one that doesn’t have ADHD is Elon Musk.
0:06:20 Elon Musk and Bill Gates have Asperger’s, which is the type of autism.
0:06:26 Richard Branson and Barbara Corker have ADHD and dyslexia, so entrepreneurs often have
0:06:29 one neurodiversity or even more than one.
0:06:36 Aristotle has this great quote that no great mind has ever existed without a touch of madness.
0:06:41 When you think about entrepreneurs, they’re typically highly creative.
0:06:44 Creativity is also associated with mental health conditions.
0:06:49 A lot of famous artists had mental health conditions.
0:06:51 I love this quote because it’s super relatable.
0:06:56 Just to have the data back this up, almost half of entrepreneurs suffer from a mental
0:06:58 health condition.
0:07:02 49% of entrepreneurs have a mental health condition compared to non-entrepreneurs where
0:07:07 just 32% of them have a mental health condition.
0:07:11 According to a study by researchers of the University of California, the types of mental
0:07:19 health conditions that make up this 49% are ADD, ADHD, depression, anxiety, dyslexia,
0:07:21 addiction, and bipolar disorder.
0:07:26 Those are the primary conditions that a lot of entrepreneurs have.
0:07:28 If we break this down even further, this is another study.
0:07:32 There have been many studies about this, and like I said, it’s becoming this trend that’s
0:07:34 starting to bubble up.
0:07:39 29% of entrepreneurs have ADHD compared to just 5% of the general population.
0:07:44 30% of entrepreneurs have depression compared to just 15% of the population.
0:07:49 11% of entrepreneurs have bipolar disorder compared to just 1% and 12% of entrepreneurs
0:07:52 have addiction compared to just 4%.
0:07:58 Why do entrepreneurs have these mental health conditions?
0:08:03 When it comes to things like stress, anxiety, depression, addiction, a lot of it is just
0:08:04 because they’re an entrepreneur.
0:08:06 It’s hard being an entrepreneur.
0:08:07 There’s stress.
0:08:08 There’s uncertainty.
0:08:09 You’re working alone.
0:08:10 There’s social isolation.
0:08:16 There’s so much pressure for stakeholders and clients and your board and whatever it
0:08:17 is.
0:08:21 There’s also barriers to mental health resources because a lot of us don’t have insurance.
0:08:25 If you’re a freelancer, a solopreneur, I just rolled out insurance to my company like three
0:08:26 months ago.
0:08:31 A lot of us don’t have insurance yet because we’re startups.
0:08:36 A lot of us are fusing our identity with our company.
0:08:37 We are our work.
0:08:43 Any negative thing or failure that happens, we are really down on ourselves because we
0:08:48 believe that we are our work and we have to work on creating identities outside of being
0:08:49 an entrepreneur.
0:08:53 Then the last one is really interesting.
0:08:57 Our neurodiversity also makes us more likely to become entrepreneurs.
0:09:03 We didn’t necessarily fit into the mold of traditional corporate world.
0:09:05 For example, ADHD people are always late.
0:09:10 ADHD people might miss deadlines, but they’ve got amazing strengths like the ability to
0:09:14 hyper-focus and being extremely innovative.
0:09:21 A lot of the strengths of neurodiversity across ADHD, autism, bipolar disorder are really
0:09:27 similar in terms of its hyper-focus, its innovation, its being able to problem solve, and all
0:09:30 of those things make us good entrepreneurs.
0:09:34 A lot of us are just predisposed to become entrepreneurs eventually because we don’t
0:09:36 fit into corporate.
0:09:39 Let’s talk a little bit about … I’ve been throwing out the word neurodiversity.
0:09:43 A lot of you guys may not have heard of this word yet.
0:09:47 Let’s talk about the difference between being neurotypical and the difference between being
0:09:49 neurodiverse.
0:09:52 Neurotypical refers to how a brain typically functions.
0:09:57 Because it’s the most common way for people to think, this is what shapes all of our culture
0:09:58 norms, our society.
0:10:03 This is why everything is based on being an early bird, going to work nine to five.
0:10:09 This is why being on time is just as important as the quality of work that you do when you
0:10:11 work a job.
0:10:15 Neurodivergence is really referring to the natural differences in brain function amongst
0:10:21 individuals with autism, ADHD, dyslexia, and bipolar disorder.
0:10:25 The whole concept of neurodiversity is that people experience and interact with the world
0:10:27 around them in many different ways.
0:10:32 There’s really no one right way of thinking, learning, and behaving.
0:10:35 For instance, ADHD, it’s not a disorder.
0:10:37 It’s not a dysfunction.
0:10:39 It is a unique way of thinking.
0:10:44 It is a unique way of being, and there’s lots of strengths that come about it.
0:10:45 I wouldn’t want it any other way.
0:10:50 The reason why I’m such a successful entrepreneur with a company that’s on track to make $10
0:10:55 million in 2024 is because of my ADHD superpowers.
0:10:59 I’m proud to have it because I’m different, and that’s okay.
0:11:03 There’s no right or wrong, of course.
0:11:05 Neurotypical people are very successful.
0:11:07 Neurodivergent people can be very successful.
0:11:09 There’s no right or wrong way of thinking.
0:11:10 Do you think?
0:11:16 By the way, I’m undiagnosed ADHD, and I have an ADHD coach and everything like that, but
0:11:20 I’m token ADHD, the inattention type.
0:11:24 If you don’t know, we’re going to go through some of the symptoms.
0:11:30 How do you know? Because as you’re going to learn in a bit, something like ADHD is really
0:11:32 a spectrum.
0:11:35 You can have a little bit of ADHD, you can have a lot of ADHD.
0:11:37 It’s a spectrum.
0:11:40 Society favors neurotypical workers.
0:11:46 I alluded this to this already, but school, the way that school is set up, the way that
0:11:51 companies are set up, they’re really for people who can maintain sustained, effortful focus
0:11:58 and attention to repetitive, low-stimulation tasks, whereas neurodiverse people really
0:12:03 have a hard problem working on things that they don’t have personal interest in.
0:12:08 They have really low self-control in general, especially people with ADHD.
0:12:13 Many traditional jobs require patience, persistence, organization, self-discipline, and the ability
0:12:16 to work towards delayed or abstract rewards.
0:12:19 Let’s talk about the good news.
0:12:25 As neurodivergent entrepreneurs, we are working with our brains and not against our brains.
0:12:29 We essentially get to lean into all of our strengths.
0:12:31 People who are neurodiverse, like I mentioned, they’re innovative, they’re problem-solving.
0:12:34 They have high creativity.
0:12:36 Also, we don’t like being put in a box.
0:12:38 We don’t like this traditional structure.
0:12:40 Some of us stay up really late.
0:12:41 I’m a night owl, guys.
0:12:43 I can’t fall asleep until 1 a.m.
0:12:45 I’ll be working until 1 a.m.
0:12:50 I worked on this presentation on Monday ’til 3 a.m. because I get my best creative work
0:12:55 done super late at night and hyper-focus at night.
0:13:00 Everybody’s different, and being an entrepreneur allows us to lean into these really flexible
0:13:04 work lives and do the best work that we do personally.
0:13:10 By the way, neurotypical colleagues make the best co-founders and executive teams.
0:13:14 Even if you’re neurotypical, that doesn’t mean you can’t be an entrepreneur.
0:13:19 That might mean that you would team up with an innovator like me and become a co-founder.
0:13:22 For example, Kate on the call is my business partner.
0:13:29 I created the idea of YAP Media and innovated it, and now she helps me manage it and operates
0:13:30 it.
0:13:35 I believe she’s neurotypical, and she has all the strengths that I don’t have.
0:13:38 We work as such a great team.
0:13:40 Even if you’re neurotypical, that doesn’t mean you can’t be an entrepreneur.
0:13:44 It just means that you might not be the one inventing something or continually inventing
0:13:49 something and problem solving, but you might be the one organizing and handling all the
0:13:54 operations and the finances and things that neurodiverse people may not want to do or
0:13:56 may not be good at.
0:13:59 Let’s talk about ADHD and entrepreneurship.
0:14:00 Just some quick stats.
0:14:06 People with ADHD are 60% to 80% more likely to have entrepreneurial intentions than others,
0:14:09 and they’re two times more likely to start a business.
0:14:16 It’s so cool that it just happens to be what people with ADHD end up doing.
0:14:20 We want autonomy, achievement, those kinds of things.
0:14:22 Let’s get into ADHD and entrepreneurship.
0:14:24 What is ADHD?
0:14:29 It affects executive functioning, which is memory, attention, organization.
0:14:33 These are typically the cognitive abilities needed to achieve goals, and there’s three
0:14:34 types of ADHD.
0:14:36 There’s the inattentive kind.
0:14:38 That’s when you have difficulty paying attention.
0:14:39 You’re forgetful.
0:14:40 You’re easily distracted.
0:14:42 There’s the hyperactive kind.
0:14:43 You’re fidgety.
0:14:44 You’re talkative.
0:14:45 You’re impatient.
0:14:46 Then there’s the combined kind.
0:14:47 You have symptoms of both.
0:14:51 For example, I have the inattentive kind.
0:14:57 One thing I want to note is that ADHD, and this is becoming more and more of a common
0:15:00 ideal, is that it’s really a continuum.
0:15:01 It’s really a spectrum.
0:15:03 People have varying amounts of ADHD.
0:15:08 I remember I talked to one of the most famous brain experts and psychologists in the world,
0:15:13 Dr. Daniel Amon, on my podcast, and I asked him an ADHD question, and his response to
0:15:15 me was, “Everyone has ADHD.
0:15:18 It just depends how much you have it.”
0:15:22 He’s an expert on ADHD, and that was mind blowing for me because I was like, “Oh, that’s
0:15:26 so interesting because I’ve got a business partner, Jason, for example, who’s kind of
0:15:29 like a mix of me and Kate.
0:15:33 He’s got neurotypical things about him, and then he’s got a lot of stuff similar to me
0:15:38 that’s neurodiverse, and I never really knew what he was, and it makes sense because it’s
0:15:39 all a spectrum.
0:15:45 You might have some qualities, a little bit of ADHD, and there’s other mental conditions
0:15:47 that are like this too, like anxiety, depression.
0:15:49 It’s all sort of like a spectrum.
0:15:52 How much are you deviated from the norm?”
0:15:56 So ADHD is not really a thing that you have or don’t have.
0:16:00 That’s becoming more and more of a common thought out there.
0:16:06 So ADHD in the workplace, poor time management skills, this is why we don’t fit in in corporate
0:16:11 chronic lateness, mis-deadlines, difficulty completing mundane repetitive tasks that are
0:16:12 not a personal interest.
0:16:16 What happens if you try to do a repetitive task is you keep multitasking because you’re
0:16:18 just bored, you get distracted.
0:16:22 Also difficulty with relationships, which we’re going to talk about later.
0:16:26 Difficulty getting along with managers and colleagues sometimes because you have emotional
0:16:27 outputs.
0:16:31 It’s really hard to control your emotions when you have ADHD.
0:16:36 So here are some signs that you have ADHD based on the two different kinds.
0:16:42 So hyperactive is you fidget, excessive talking, you interrupt others, you have lack of impulse
0:16:43 control.
0:16:47 In attention to ADHD, you might have trouble with organization, especially with things
0:16:48 you don’t care about.
0:16:53 So for example, I might be organized in something I care about like a project, but if it’s something
0:16:58 I don’t care about or it doesn’t matter or no one’s seeing it or judging me on it, I’ll
0:16:59 be disorganized.
0:17:04 Forgetting instructions, losing track of time, being late, forgetful, misplaces and loses
0:17:08 things, not listening well or paying attention.
0:17:13 You might have a doomsday pile, like one of your drawers just has like a bunch of crap
0:17:14 and you don’t even know what’s in it.
0:17:19 That’s like an ADHD symptom, trouble concentrating on repetitive work, emotional outbursts or
0:17:25 emotional response, leaving some tasks unfinished, especially if you’re not interested in it.
0:17:31 Your symptom is you buy things and you already have them, like I’ll have like eight contact
0:17:34 solutions even though I’ll go to the store and buy more because I’ll forget that I have
0:17:38 them and that’s the symptom of it not remembering what you have.
0:17:42 So let’s talk about some neurodiversity superpowers, okay?
0:17:47 What are the superpowers of ADHD, autism bipolar disorder?
0:17:53 So ADHD superpowers, like I mentioned before, I’m so happy I have ADHD because I feel like
0:17:58 it makes me uniquely me and I think very differently from other people and I have strengths that
0:18:00 make me unique and successful.
0:18:09 High energy, alertness, full of ideas and innovative, strong problem solving abilities, risk takers,
0:18:14 we take proactive leaps of faith, we can hyper focus and do intense work for long periods.
0:18:20 Guys, when I’m focused, I feel like I get four hours of work done in 10 minutes.
0:18:22 I can really get things done fast.
0:18:25 I just might procrastinate till the last minute.
0:18:30 Resilient and resourceful, ability to see opportunities that people don’t see, comfortable
0:18:35 on chaos, highly curious, more likely to be optimistic, which is also why people with
0:18:37 ADHD tend to be late.
0:18:42 We often think we have more time than we do and we’re just optimistic about how much
0:18:44 it’s going to take to complete a task.
0:18:47 So very optimistic, okay?
0:18:51 Just remember that your weaknesses can also be your greatest strengths.
0:18:54 All right, autism spectrum disorder, very different superpowers.
0:18:57 Again, this is something that is on a spectrum.
0:18:59 They literally call it autism spectrum disorder.
0:19:05 Some of the most famous entrepreneurs in the world, like Bill Gates and Elon Musk, have
0:19:08 Asperger’s, a type of autism.
0:19:10 So higher rates of giftedness.
0:19:14 People with autism often are really good at mathematics, music, art, okay?
0:19:18 The ability to focus really well, attention to detail.
0:19:24 I have two employees that are on the spectrum, my favorite employees.
0:19:26 They are so motivated.
0:19:28 They are so skilled and gifted in their specific area.
0:19:33 They get obsessed with being the best they possibly can and the thing that they’re experts
0:19:34 on.
0:19:35 They never make a mistake.
0:19:41 They are doing lots of UA type stuff and they don’t get bored with really repetitive work.
0:19:42 It’s stimulating for them.
0:19:43 They like it.
0:19:45 They’re doing sort of perfect.
0:19:51 Such a good thing that you need in a business is people who are good at really repetitive
0:19:54 attention to detail tasks, right?
0:19:59 Very strong work ethic, very loyal, enhanced memory skills, superior problem solving, really
0:20:04 good at constructing systems and operations and very good at pattern recognition.
0:20:09 So again, lots of strengths and if you’re an employer, for example, you really want to
0:20:13 consider having neurodiverse workers.
0:20:17 You want to have people who have different ways of thinking in your organization.
0:20:22 Now, bipolar disorder, this is really associated with high creativity and art.
0:20:28 So some of the most famous artists like Vincent Van Gogh, Scott Fitzgerald, Ernest Hemingway,
0:20:30 Tchaikovsky, they all have bipolar disorders.
0:20:35 So very artistic, very creative, high ambition, increased risk taking, tenacity.
0:20:42 Actually, all neurodiverse people have tenacity and resilience because we grew up being different
0:20:43 people.
0:20:49 Learning in school and traditional jobs that we didn’t really fit in and we had to learn
0:20:50 to overcome those obstacles.
0:20:54 So a lot of people that have neurodiversity are resilient.
0:20:58 They know how to adapt, they have tenacity and grit.
0:21:01 That is also common across everybody with neurodiversity.
0:21:04 Also people with bipolar are really outgoing.
0:21:07 They’re extroverted and they’re really open personalities.
0:21:14 So those are some of the superpowers, but our superpowers can also become our kryptonite.
0:21:17 There is a high price of hustle.
0:21:20 So I love this quote from Elon Musk.
0:21:25 He says, “Running a startup is like chewing glass and staring into the abyss.
0:21:29 After a while you stop staring, but the glass chewing never ends.”
0:21:31 What does this quote mean to you?
0:21:34 What do you think Elon means by this quote?
0:21:35 Jackson, really good.
0:21:40 Elon is telling you that there is so much that you do not want to do but have to do.
0:21:42 The pain doesn’t end even if you can clearly see the business.
0:21:45 Yeah, you guys did really well with that.
0:21:47 So let’s break it down.
0:21:49 Running a startup is like chewing glass.
0:21:53 So really what he means here, and I watched a video where he literally breaks down what
0:21:54 he meant.
0:22:00 So as an entrepreneur, you’re constantly in the know of everything that’s going wrong
0:22:01 in your business.
0:22:02 You have the insider information.
0:22:08 You know all the little things that are broken in your business, you also know all the things
0:22:10 that only you can work on.
0:22:12 It’s things that you can’t delegate, unfortunately.
0:22:13 You’re the only one who has the knowledge.
0:22:17 You’re the only one that can work on it and make it right.
0:22:21 And there’s all these things that are out there that you want to work on.
0:22:22 You want to innovate.
0:22:23 You want to create new.
0:22:27 You want to work on things that are fun, that you enjoy.
0:22:32 But unfortunately, you have to work on the problems your company needs you to work on,
0:22:33 not the ones that you want to work on.
0:22:36 This is what chewing glass is.
0:22:40 And if you’re neurodiverse, the hardest thing is to chew glass.
0:22:45 The hardest thing is to do things that you don’t want to do because you want to have
0:22:46 dopamine.
0:22:47 You need dopamine.
0:22:48 Your brain works differently.
0:22:52 You can’t just be okay working on things you don’t want to do.
0:22:53 So we need to combat this.
0:22:58 This is what I’m going to talk about in the productivity section of today’s class.
0:23:01 And staring into the abyss.
0:23:06 This is that you feel the pressure that your company is constantly facing extermination.
0:23:11 So 90% of all startups fail and 80% of them fail within five years.
0:23:16 And what he means by chewing glass never ends and the staring into the abyss does is because
0:23:21 eventually, if you chew glass and do what you need to do, you get a foundation, you
0:23:25 get some cash flow, you get some padding, you save up for emergencies.
0:23:30 And then suddenly, even if something goes wrong, you’re not going to face extermination.
0:23:35 But the first two, three years of entrepreneurship is this, running a startup is like chewing
0:23:37 glass and staring into the abyss.
0:23:40 So that’s what he means by this quote.
0:23:45 So let’s talk about why entrepreneurs are so stressed out.
0:23:50 Entrepreneurship is full with uncertainty and unpredictability, market dynamics, financial
0:23:51 instability.
0:23:52 You always need to innovate.
0:23:57 There’s so much pressure, constant decision making, risk taking, and responsibility for
0:23:59 clients, employees, and stakeholders.
0:24:03 Graham Altman has this awesome quote, he says, “Bounders end up with a lot of weight on
0:24:07 their shoulders, their employees, their families, their customers, their investors.
0:24:09 And we have to make everybody happy.
0:24:12 Your family wants more time, your business needs more time.
0:24:16 Your clients want cheaper prices, your employees want more pay.
0:24:20 It’s hard to keep everybody happy and it’s all on your shoulders.”
0:24:21 Leads to some high stress.
0:24:26 So what are you most stressed about right now in your business or in your job?
0:24:28 What are you most stressed about?
0:24:34 Burnout, finances, clients, cash flow, financial instability, generating more income to fail,
0:24:38 cash flow, all right.
0:24:41 Let’s talk about some of the dark sides of passion guys.
0:24:46 So like I mentioned, one of the things that make neurodiverse people awesome is that we’re
0:24:52 like highly passionate, highly creative, but there’s a dark side of passion.
0:24:58 The more passionate about your business you are, the more that you usually self-identify
0:25:02 with your business and you’re emotionally dependent on your work, the more likely you’re
0:25:07 going to suffer from burnout because you’re working late hours, you’re exhausted, you’re
0:25:11 not spending time with friends and family, you’re not exercising, you’re not eating right.
0:25:15 And that’s going to lead to health issues, stress, burnout, anxiety.
0:25:18 In fact, 25% of entrepreneurs say they are burnt out.
0:25:24 And 95% of entrepreneurs are unsure of how to create an adequate work-life balance.
0:25:28 70% of entrepreneurs feel lonely throughout the journey, 62% of entrepreneurs feel they’re
0:25:32 sacrificing their present lives for future success.
0:25:34 Let’s talk about why entrepreneurs are lonely.
0:25:39 So first of all, working in excessive hours and blurring the boundaries between work and
0:25:40 professional life.
0:25:47 So we spend less time with friends, family, kids, 60% less time with spouses, 58% less
0:25:51 time with kids, 73% less time with friends and family.
0:25:56 We need to change those numbers so that we can be more balanced.
0:26:01 On top of that, we’re socially isolated, we often work from home, we often work by ourselves.
0:26:05 When we’re starting, we often have small teams, we don’t have the same work balance where
0:26:09 you go into the office and you’ve got 100 people you could become friends with.
0:26:14 Also, if you’ve got neurodiverse conditions, you have it even worse.
0:26:20 So for example, somebody like me with ADHD, I have trouble paying attention to conversations.
0:26:24 I’m forgetful of anniversaries and birthdays and I’ve lost friends because they don’t forgive
0:26:25 me for that.
0:26:27 I’m late to events.
0:26:31 I might have poor emotional responses, I’m upset, I can’t control my emotions as much
0:26:35 as I’d like to, it’s something I always have to work on.
0:26:39 And so that causes issues in relationships, people end up thinking that you’re careless.
0:26:44 Autism, bipolar disorder also has negative impacts on relationships if they have their
0:26:46 own things that happen.
0:26:52 Bipolar disorder, they get into these really bad moods and so it’s confusing for people
0:26:56 that they have relationships with because they have totally different moods depending
0:26:58 on how they’re feeling.
0:27:01 So knowing all this, how do we maximize our potential?
0:27:03 How do we maximize our productivity?
0:27:05 How do we maximize our relationships?
0:27:08 How do we maximize our mental health?
0:27:13 First of all, we’ve got to address the root causes.
0:27:15 So I’m just going to be really blunt right now.
0:27:19 Let’s talk about the top 20 reasons that startup fails.
0:27:24 No market need, running out of cash, not the right team, getting out competed, pricing
0:27:29 cost issues, user unfriendly product, product without business model, poor marketing and
0:27:30 so on.
0:27:34 These are the top 20 reasons, but let’s laser in on the top three reasons.
0:27:38 No market need, ran out of cash, not the right team.
0:27:42 In fact, no market need is leading by a lot, 42%.
0:27:47 The next one’s at 30%, the next one’s at 20% and guess what?
0:27:49 Everything is related to no market need.
0:27:51 That’s the main reason.
0:27:56 If you calculate all of this, it’s like 80% of the reason why startups fail or 90% is
0:28:01 because of no market need because no market demand is no money and not being able to afford
0:28:03 or attract the right team.
0:28:07 And so off the bat, if you’re an entrepreneur and you’re not working on the right idea,
0:28:13 you are setting yourself up for bad mental health, bad relationships, bad productivity,
0:28:16 low self-esteem, all these things.
0:28:20 You need to realize it’s a dead horse and get off of it.
0:28:25 And one of the biggest problems with not having the right idea is that usually the problem
0:28:27 is too specific.
0:28:28 There’s no audience for you.
0:28:33 Your target clients like finding a needle on a haystack, nobody wants your offer.
0:28:38 Something’s wrong with your offer and a lot of the reason is nobody wants it, right?
0:28:43 Your offer is not desirable to an audience that you can find en masse.
0:28:48 So off the bat, you got to work on the right idea and you got to be honest with yourself.
0:28:52 Am I just working on the wrong idea right now?
0:28:56 Is there something I can be doing with my skills and talents where it wouldn’t be such
0:29:00 an uphill battle to get clients and customers?
0:29:04 Can I make it less specific so that more people want it?
0:29:07 Another thing is that you want to make sure you pick a diverse team.
0:29:10 So neurotypical and neurodiverse people make the perfect match.
0:29:15 A lot of the times, if you’re founding a company with others, it’s like like-minded people because
0:29:18 you guys are all friends, but you got to make sure that you’re all different.
0:29:23 Because if everybody is on the technical side, for example, nobody knows how to manage finances,
0:29:26 create a business model, secure funding, you want a diverse team.
0:29:30 And the other thing is because entrepreneurship is a lonely journey, you might really want
0:29:35 to think about having a co-founder, finding a partner that you can work with and you guys
0:29:37 have different strengths, right?
0:29:39 It makes it more fun, less lonely.
0:29:44 I got to say that I have so much fun being an entrepreneur because Kate and Jason, my
0:29:47 business partners are literally my best friends.
0:29:53 I have so much fun with them and I feel like compared to other entrepreneurs, I have like
0:29:59 a really full life because I’m basically working with partners that started as colleagues
0:30:01 and now have become my best friends.
0:30:05 So before you give away equity and make things permanent, make sure you actually enjoy the
0:30:09 people’s time because you’ll be spending a lot of time with your co-founders.
0:30:12 Let’s hold that thought and take a quick break with our sponsors.
0:30:17 Young and Profiters, chances are if you’re listening to this show, you’ve got an expertise
0:30:19 that you can teach other people.
0:30:24 Chances are you can make passive income by creating your first course.
0:30:28 If you’ve been on the fence about creating a course, what are you waiting for?
0:30:33 It is so easy to launch a course these days because Teachable has got your back.
0:30:35 Teachable is the number one course platform.
0:30:39 It is simply the best platform for content creators to start or grow an online business
0:30:40 authentically.
0:30:44 That’s because Teachable offers more product options to create and sell than any other
0:30:50 platform with online courses, digital downloads, coaching services, memberships, and communities.
0:30:55 You can engage your online audience on a deeper level and you can get selling fast with easy
0:30:59 to use content and website builders plus a variety of AI tools.
0:31:04 They have an AI curriculum generator, they have automatic subtitles and translations,
0:31:09 so they’ve really figured out how to use AI to optimize our course creation and make
0:31:10 it much faster.
0:31:14 They also have a top rated mobile app that allows your customers to enjoy your products
0:31:15 on the go.
0:31:20 On Teachable, creators also get more power and ownership over monetizing their content.
0:31:24 Your content shouldn’t get lost in the algorithm and you shouldn’t have to rely on other companies
0:31:25 to pay you.
0:31:30 Now is the perfect time to join Teachable because you get an exclusive deal with our
0:31:31 partner code Profiting.
0:31:36 Go to Teachable.com and use code Profiting to unlock a free month on their pro plan.
0:31:40 You’ll get all their marketing, product creation features to build out your offerings and there’s
0:31:44 no limitations on this trial, so you definitely don’t want to miss this.
0:31:46 Again, it’s Teachable.com.
0:31:49 You can use code Profiting for an entire free month on Teachable.
0:31:53 Be a part of the 100,000 plus creators who are already using Teachable to turn their
0:31:57 expertise into a thriving online business.
0:32:02 Young and Profiters, I spent years slaving away in so many different jobs, trying to
0:32:07 prove myself, trying to figure out what gave me joy at work and trying to build productive
0:32:08 teams.
0:32:10 Eventually, I figured it all out.
0:32:14 But what if you could learn that stuff about yourself and your team in a fraction of the
0:32:16 time that I did?
0:32:20 The working genius model will transform your work, your team, and your life by leveraging
0:32:22 your natural gifts.
0:32:27 We each possess a unique set of skills, and let’s face it, you’re going to be more fulfilled
0:32:33 and successful when you lean into rather than away from your natural true talents.
0:32:37 Working genius can help you discover how to increase joy and energy at work by understanding
0:32:40 what your working geniuses really are.
0:32:45 The working genius assessment only takes 10 minutes, and the results can be applied immediately.
0:32:50 I took the assessment, and my two primary working geniuses are inventing and galvanizing.
0:32:55 I just love creating new things and then rallying people together to bring them to life.
0:32:59 That’s why I’ve been starting businesses and growing teams for years.
0:33:02 Your own working genius may be completely different.
0:33:05 The working genius assessment is not just a personality test.
0:33:07 It’s a productivity tool.
0:33:12 It can help you identify your own individual talents and provide a great roadmap for creating
0:33:15 productive and satisfied teams.
0:33:19 You and your team will get more done in less time with more joy and energy.
0:33:25 To get 20% off the $25 working genius assessment, go to workinggenius.com and enter the promo
0:33:27 code profiting at checkout.
0:33:34 That’s right, you can get 20% off the $25 working genius assessment at workinggenius.com using
0:33:35 promo code profiting.
0:33:40 Hey, yeah, ma’am, launching my LinkedIn secrets masterclass was one of the best things I’ve
0:33:44 ever done for my business, and I didn’t have to figure out all the nuts and bolts of creating
0:33:47 a website for my course.
0:33:48 I needed a lot of different features.
0:33:52 I needed chat capabilities in case anybody had questions.
0:33:54 I needed promo code discounts.
0:34:00 I needed a laundry list of features to enable what I was envisioning with my course.
0:34:01 But here’s the thing.
0:34:05 All I had to do was literally lift a finger to get it all done.
0:34:10 And that’s because I used Shopify.
0:34:16 Shopify is the easiest way to sell anything, to sell online or in person.
0:34:18 It’s the home of the number one checkout on the planet.
0:34:24 And Shopify is not so secret secret as Shoppay, which boosts conversions up to 50%.
0:34:29 That means way fewer cards get abandoned and way more sales get done.
0:34:34 So when students tell me that they can’t afford my course, I let them know about payment plans
0:34:35 with Shoppay.
0:34:37 It is a game changer.
0:34:40 If you’re into growing your business, your commerce platform better be ready to sell
0:34:46 wherever your customers are scrolling or strolling on the web and your store in their feed and
0:34:47 everywhere in between.
0:34:52 Put simply businesses that sell more sell with Shopify.
0:34:56 Create your business and get the same checkout we use at YAP Media with Shopify.
0:35:02 Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at Shopify.com/profiting and that’s all lowercase.
0:35:07 Go to Shopify.com/profiting to upgrade your selling today.
0:35:15 That’s Shopify.com/profiting.
0:35:18 Let’s talk about developing routines.
0:35:19 Question for you all.
0:35:23 How often are you speaking with others about your mental health?
0:35:25 Let me know in the chat.
0:35:26 Some people are saying weekly.
0:35:30 Some people said always, but like almost everybody is saying never right now.
0:35:31 All right.
0:35:32 Let me ask you another question.
0:35:35 Why aren’t you speaking to anyone about mental health?
0:35:38 And if you are, why are you?
0:35:39 Why or why not?
0:35:47 Not their business, stigmas, no one cares, too busy, not everyone understands, no one
0:35:50 cares about your mental health, freedom of judgment.
0:35:51 All right.
0:35:55 So we’re going to get into routines, guys.
0:35:58 Number one, you want to start therapy.
0:36:02 I use BetterHelp and you guys should really think about starting weekly therapy sessions.
0:36:07 If you want to be a better entrepreneur, if you want to be a better person, a better husband,
0:36:12 boyfriend, dad, friend, therapy is where it’s at.
0:36:19 We always want to talk about our mental health and especially as an entrepreneur, because
0:36:25 as an entrepreneur, you have to create this facade that everything’s okay constantly.
0:36:27 You can’t even tell your business partners you’re feeling down.
0:36:31 You can’t tell your employees how you’re feeling.
0:36:36 You need to have this confidence all the time and it makes it really hard to share what’s
0:36:39 going on to somebody in your life.
0:36:44 But a mental health professional is somebody that you can talk to in confidence and private.
0:36:48 I saw a lot of you guys saying it’s nobody’s business, for example.
0:36:52 So you want to make speaking with a mental health professional a regular weekly habit.
0:36:55 So for example, I have a therapist Blair.
0:36:58 I meet her every single Sunday, no excuses.
0:37:01 So you can talk about your fears or stressors without any repercussions.
0:37:05 You can go to betterhelp.com/profit and get 10% off your first month.
0:37:09 Our help is sponsoring this webinar, so shout out to them.
0:37:14 So how does therapy help entrepreneurs, non-judgmental space to discuss your worries, broadens up
0:37:19 your perspective and understands whatever role you’re in is going on?
0:37:23 So sometimes when we’re so upset about something, we can’t really see the facts.
0:37:26 We can’t really understand the bigger picture.
0:37:28 Also integrating lessons learned from failures.
0:37:33 Your therapist starts to get to know you, knows your stories, their writing notes.
0:37:36 So they can remind you like, hey, this happened before.
0:37:40 Is this some sort of a pattern that you need to work through helping you handle emotions,
0:37:44 helping you handle conflict and avoiding burnout?
0:37:49 Because as entrepreneurs, it’s often always about doing something for somebody else.
0:37:51 Doing something for your employees, doing something for your clients.
0:37:55 This is an hour out of the week that is all about you.
0:37:59 Your company will benefit if you take care of yourself.
0:38:03 Help is awesome because it’s professional, it’s affordable, convenient, and effective.
0:38:08 Number one, it is so much more affordable than any other therapy that I’ve ever done.
0:38:15 And I have to say that I tried therapy four years ago and it was maybe four times as expensive.
0:38:19 And I remember I’d always feel like thinking about, oh, like how much money I’m spending
0:38:22 on this and is it even worth it or whatever.
0:38:26 I never have those thoughts anymore because it is so affordable, it is worth its weight
0:38:28 in gold.
0:38:31 But it’s the best therapist I’ve ever had.
0:38:35 I feel like because BetterHelp has such a great company culture, they’ve got therapists
0:38:37 that actually want to be there.
0:38:43 It’s not a therapist that only has four clients, which is kind of what I had before and it
0:38:46 just made me feel like they just wanted to keep me as a client.
0:38:48 I don’t feel like a client to this therapist.
0:38:51 I feel like their job is to be a therapist.
0:38:54 And if I don’t want to do therapy with them, there’s somebody else who’s going to do therapy
0:38:55 with them.
0:38:59 And keeping me on as a client is like actually caring about my mental health.
0:39:03 It’s way different than any other therapy that I’ve ever had.
0:39:07 And best therapist by far, really good training and things like that.
0:39:12 It’s also super convenient in the past when I had a therapist that had to like go back
0:39:15 and forth on text and it was like super annoying to try to find a time and it always had to
0:39:16 be the same time.
0:39:19 I can literally change whatever time I want to treat.
0:39:23 I keep it on Sunday and I change whatever time I want on Sunday.
0:39:24 And it’s effective.
0:39:28 You can do video calls, you can do phone calls and chat.
0:39:32 I prefer to do phone calls because I like to like multitask and like clean while I’m
0:39:35 talking to her and stuff like that.
0:39:40 And then you can also look at classes, especially if you’re like you’re going through something
0:39:46 like a breakup or you’ve got something specific, they have all these classes all the time.
0:39:50 If you like webinars, for example, you’ll love BetterHelp because they just have like
0:39:52 all these webinars all the time.
0:39:56 So for example, I went through a breakup and I was like so upset.
0:40:02 And I remember one weekend I just went to all these breakup relationship classes and
0:40:06 was just trying to make myself feel better by being around other people who are going
0:40:08 through the same thing.
0:40:13 If you want extra therapy and you want to do some group sessions, you can also do that.
0:40:15 So that’s just a little bit about BetterHelp.
0:40:16 It’s so easy to use.
0:40:19 Again, it’s the best therapy that I’ve ever done.
0:40:21 I never promote anything that I don’t support.
0:40:26 So if you guys want to try BetterHelp, go to betterhelp.com/profit and you can get 10%
0:40:27 off your first month.
0:40:32 That is the number one routine that I would recommend to start off with is getting your
0:40:34 weekly therapy sessions.
0:40:39 So let’s move on to the next routine, weekly and daily prioritization.
0:40:45 So you guys need to learn to ruthlessly prioritize and block out specific time to complete tasks
0:40:49 so you can focus on projects that truly matter so that you can chew blasts.
0:40:50 You got to prioritize.
0:40:51 What do you want to work on?
0:40:53 What do you have to work on?
0:40:58 And McKinsey found that only 52% of executives said that how they spent their time matched
0:41:00 their organization’s priorities.
0:41:02 So that’s not good.
0:41:05 We need to learn how to prioritize.
0:41:09 So Benjamin Hardy, who you got to get familiar with because he’s going to show up a bunch
0:41:16 in the presentation, he is an organizational psychologist, he’s an expert on productivity,
0:41:20 and he says 10x is easier than 2x.
0:41:21 That’s counterintuitive.
0:41:24 How could 10x be easier than 2x?
0:41:29 Because if you want to grow exponentially, you can’t just do double of everything you’re
0:41:30 doing now.
0:41:34 Could you imagine if you just doubled everything you’re doing now, you would just get burnt
0:41:35 out.
0:41:37 You can’t just double everything you’re doing.
0:41:38 That’s impossible.
0:41:42 However, what if you leaned into the things that really worked?
0:41:45 What if you got smarter about the way you worked?
0:41:51 That’s how you actually 10x.
0:41:53 It’s doing the 20% of the work that’s going to get you 80% of the results.
0:41:55 That’s going to 10x your results.
0:42:00 So the Pareto principle, you guys have probably heard of it, the 80/20 rule, 80% of results
0:42:03 come from 20% of your actions.
0:42:06 So when you really think about it, you’ve got to remember 10x is easier than 2x.
0:42:08 You can’t just double all your work.
0:42:11 You’ve got to work smarter.
0:42:12 You don’t want to get burnt out.
0:42:15 So the 80/20 rule.
0:42:18 How do you waste your time by doing the wrong things?
0:42:20 You’re just not working on the wrong things.
0:42:22 They’re counterproductive.
0:42:25 By not doing the right things, you know what you need to do.
0:42:27 You’re just not doing it.
0:42:30 Or you don’t know what the right things are.
0:42:35 By doing the right things in the wrong way, you’re multitasking, you’re not paying attention.
0:42:38 You don’t have the skills and deliberate practice.
0:42:41 And also from not learning from our experiences.
0:42:44 You might be doing the right things, but you’re just never getting any better.
0:42:46 You might need to slow down, pay attention.
0:42:48 You might need to get some training.
0:42:52 You might need to delegate, get a business partner, somebody else who can do the tasks
0:42:54 more efficiently can do it better than you.
0:42:56 So these are ways you might be wasting your time.
0:42:59 Now, this is what I use every single week.
0:43:03 And I’m about to give you guys a free downloadable for a lot of stuff that I’m about to go over,
0:43:05 which is pretty cool.
0:43:11 I do this every single week, not only for my work life, but for my personal life.
0:43:14 What is urgent and important that I need to do this week?
0:43:19 What is non-urgent and important that I need to schedule for upcoming weeks?
0:43:23 What is urgent and non-important that I need to delegate or outsource?
0:43:26 What is non-urgent and non-important that I need to drop for now?
0:43:31 I do this every single week for my work and personal life so that I can keep myself on
0:43:34 track and make sure that I’m always doing the things that I need to do.
0:43:40 Now every single morning, we do something at Yap called a daily hustler huddle.
0:43:43 It’s basically a mental health and productivity tracker.
0:43:47 If you guys want to download this, it’s youngandprofiting.co/tracker.
0:43:49 You can make a copy to download it.
0:43:51 And so every single day, start off your morning.
0:43:52 How do you feel today?
0:43:54 What’s your one word open?
0:43:55 What are you grateful for today?
0:43:59 What is your business high, personal high, or recognition?
0:44:01 Who do you want to recognize today?
0:44:07 So for example, you might say, I’m so happy that we closed so many deals this week.
0:44:12 You might say, I just learned how to make sourdough bread and it’s really cool.
0:44:18 You might say, I want to recognize Kate for helping me put on the Better Health webinar.
0:44:20 What are you grateful for today this morning?
0:44:24 Did you hit your goals from yesterday, keeping yourself accountable, making sure that if
0:44:27 you need to reorganize because you didn’t hit your goals from yesterday, did you hit
0:44:29 your goals from yesterday?
0:44:31 What are your three to five work goals for today?
0:44:35 And what are your three goals for your health and relationships today?
0:44:41 Okay, so again, as entrepreneurs, we’re constantly deprioritizing ourselves, our own health,
0:44:44 our own mental health, our own relationships, and this can be routine.
0:44:50 So it might be go to my therapy session, go to my gym class at 7.30, make sure I spend
0:44:53 time with help my kid with their homework.
0:44:56 What are your three goals today for your health and relationships?
0:44:58 And like I said, those can be routines.
0:45:01 And what’s your one word close after you did this activity every single morning, which
0:45:04 takes less than 10 minutes, 15 minutes max.
0:45:06 How do you feel?
0:45:10 Now a pro tip, if you have co-founders, if you have a team, you can do this together
0:45:11 every single morning.
0:45:16 So for example, me, Jason, and Kate do this every single morning at 8.30 AM.
0:45:18 It keeps us aligned.
0:45:20 It’s like a gratitude practice.
0:45:23 It helps us understand how each of us are feeling that day.
0:45:26 And by the end of it, we all feel better and ready to go.
0:45:29 Then I do it again with my marketing and sales team later on in the day.
0:45:31 We do like a shortened version.
0:45:37 One of the keys about being successful is actually knowing what you have to do.
0:45:41 And whenever you have a project, you want to break your projects into smaller tasks.
0:45:44 You want to chunk your projects, right?
0:45:48 It’s not enough to just have this big goal, create a website.
0:45:49 It’s not enough detail.
0:45:51 You’re going to get overwhelmed.
0:45:53 You’re going to procrastinate.
0:45:56 You’re not going to be motivated because it’s just too big to tackle.
0:45:57 You need to chunk everything down.
0:46:02 Also, it really just helps with really making sure you understand the project.
0:46:04 You understand every single step that you need to take.
0:46:08 I’m always telling my team, OK, you’ve got this project.
0:46:09 What are all the little steps?
0:46:13 I want every single little step that you need to take to complete this project.
0:46:19 And guys, writing things down itself gets things out of your head.
0:46:21 David Allen came on my show.
0:46:25 He’s the founder of the Getting Things Done system.
0:46:27 And he taught me about open loops.
0:46:30 If you don’t write something down, it just stays in your brain as an open loop.
0:46:35 It actually literally keeps you up at night because you haven’t gotten out of your brain
0:46:36 and written it down.
0:46:41 So even just the action of writing it down de-stresses you.
0:46:44 So very important routines to start.
0:46:47 Successful entrepreneurship is not sexy.
0:46:50 And the vast majority of success as an entrepreneur is doing the things you know you shouldn’t
0:46:52 be doing but aren’t, a.k.a. chewing glass.
0:46:57 So I want to help you guys learn how to chew glass in a less painful way.
0:47:00 So first of all, you’ve got to learn how to say no.
0:47:04 And you’ve got to get comfortable with saying no.
0:47:08 Because behind every no is a deeper yes to what you actually want and need to do.
0:47:12 If you could still down focus– and I got this actually from Alex Tirmuzzi.
0:47:15 He also came on my podcast.
0:47:20 Focus is saying no to everything that is not what you said you would do.
0:47:25 So you have this new priority matrix where every week you’re ruthlessly prioritizing
0:47:28 what is absolutely the things that I have to do this week.
0:47:33 That means that if something happens during the week or the day that is not what you said
0:47:35 you would do, you’ve got to say no.
0:47:39 And through your head all day you should be running this filter in your head.
0:47:40 Is this what I said I would do?
0:47:42 Is this what I said I would do today?
0:47:43 No?
0:47:44 Okay, no.
0:47:45 I can’t do it.
0:47:46 I’m sorry.
0:47:50 I’m not bad at first because we don’t like to disappoint people.
0:47:53 But you can say no with grace.
0:47:57 And really you’ve got to remember that saying no is saying yes to yourself and your goal.
0:47:59 So let’s think about it for a second.
0:48:03 What is one thing you’re going to start saying no to?
0:48:09 Other people’s demands going out, saying they’re going to parties, gambling, weed, junk food,
0:48:16 alcohol, endless scrolling, yeah, feeling pretty aligned, distractions, yeah, awesome.
0:48:20 Let’s get into productivity hacks.
0:48:22 Stephen Kotler’s flow state.
0:48:27 So I have a whole episode on this and at the end of this I give you guys some continued
0:48:29 episodes for your learning.
0:48:36 But the net net of flow state is you need to block off and schedule 90 to 120 minute chunks
0:48:41 of time for uninterrupted time to complete your high priority tasks.
0:48:46 So it’s very important to block off 90 to 120 minutes a day to do those things that
0:48:49 you set in your priority matrix that you need to get done today.
0:48:52 And ideally you want to batch similar things together.
0:48:54 The other thing is you want to turn off distractions, right?
0:48:57 Turn off your phone, tell your friends and family that you’re unavailable, if you work
0:49:01 from home, close your door, get focused, right?
0:49:05 Another tip Jason, my business partner does, he puts earplugs in his ear.
0:49:10 And that makes him pay attention more because even things like birds chirping can distract
0:49:11 you.
0:49:17 When you’re a flow state, motivation, productivity, and great increases, 500% above baseline, creative
0:49:20 decision making spikes between 400 and 700%.
0:49:25 You can only get into flow if you’re not distracted for 90 to 120 minute chunks of time.
0:49:28 So you have to do everything to cut off distractions.
0:49:31 Now you want to task batch your calendar.
0:49:33 You want to schedule everything.
0:49:36 I know this seems ridiculous.
0:49:43 When I first came across this idea, my friend Tim, who co-founded the company with me, did
0:49:46 this and I thought it was freaking insane.
0:49:50 Now I do it and I’ll never go back and it is the best way to make sure that you have
0:49:55 time for yourself, your friends, your health, your business.
0:49:58 And so that you actually do what you said you would do.
0:50:00 You’ve got to schedule it all.
0:50:01 It’s not just for meetings.
0:50:04 A lot of people treat their calendar like it’s just for meetings.
0:50:06 Chapters are not just for meetings.
0:50:09 Schedule everything on there, your flow time, your personal time.
0:50:12 And the thing is, is that you can’t multitask.
0:50:14 Multitasking is not a thing.
0:50:15 Multitasking is the myth.
0:50:16 No such thing.
0:50:20 When you say you multitask, I think like, “Oh, that means you don’t get your work done.”
0:50:23 That’s not something to brag about.
0:50:27 Multitasking leads to a 40% drop in productivity, 50% more errors.
0:50:31 People who are interrupted and have to switch back takes 50% longer.
0:50:34 Every time you get interrupted, it will take you 20 minutes to get back in the zone.
0:50:37 If you don’t schedule the time to do the things you need to do, you’ll never become
0:50:40 the future you that you want to become.
0:50:42 So schedule everything.
0:50:46 Some of the things you might want to schedule is times to eat, times to shower, times to
0:50:50 check email and Slack, times to get into flow, times to spend with family, social media,
0:50:53 news, meditation, bedtime, TV, entertainment.
0:50:58 I don’t watch TV, but if you guys have to watch TV, schedule it.
0:50:59 Weekly prioritization.
0:51:00 Right?
0:51:03 Usually it’s Friday or Monday, spending time with your extended family, spending time with
0:51:09 your spouse, date night, adventure time with kids, time for therapy, time for personal growth,
0:51:11 time to spend on a hobby or charity, right?
0:51:14 So you want to think about what are you scheduling daily?
0:51:16 What are you scheduling weekly?
0:51:17 Think about it.
0:51:18 Actually plan out your days.
0:51:19 And here’s the thing.
0:51:20 You don’t have to be rigid.
0:51:24 I change my routine like every month, every week even sometimes.
0:51:26 I’ll change like one thing around.
0:51:31 You can change it up, but put what you need to do down in a schedule and stick by your
0:51:32 schedule.
0:51:33 Okay.
0:51:36 So another technique to help you chew glass.
0:51:40 And this is my modified version of the Pomodori technique.
0:51:43 So I change this to add a reward.
0:51:46 This is what I do to myself to get my work done.
0:51:49 So you choose a single task to focus on.
0:51:52 Then you decide on a reward you’ll give yourself for doing it.
0:51:57 So for example, I might say I’m going to work on this better health presentation for 45
0:51:58 minutes.
0:52:02 And when I’m done with it, I’m going to have a half of an ice cream sandwich.
0:52:05 I love ice cream sandwiches, right?
0:52:11 And I tell myself, I can’t have an ice cream sandwich until I finish this 45 minute chunk.
0:52:12 That’s the thing that I changed.
0:52:14 The regular Pomodori technique has no reward.
0:52:18 I added a reward to gamify it for myself.
0:52:21 You take a two to five minute break, you take your reward, and then you start the timer
0:52:22 over again.
0:52:24 You’re still in flow.
0:52:29 If you do this three, four times, then you’re going to take a bigger break, a 15 to 30 minute
0:52:30 break.
0:52:32 So that’s the Pomodori technique.
0:52:36 Something else I want to talk about is the times to get our work done.
0:52:41 Daniel Pink breaks down the three stages in the day for most people if you’re an early
0:52:42 burp.
0:52:46 So peak our mood rises in the morning, best for analytical work.
0:52:50 Truff, our mood declines in the early at mid afternoon, best for administrative work.
0:52:54 So this is why people need like a coffee at 3 PM or 2 PM, right?
0:52:58 If you ever need like a caffeine boost, it’s because typically if you wake up early in
0:53:01 the morning, you feel really tired at this point.
0:53:05 And then you get a surge of energy in the evening.
0:53:07 And that’s best for creative work, four or 5 PM.
0:53:10 So if you’re an early bird, these are your stages.
0:53:14 But not of all of us are early birds and especially neurodiverse people.
0:53:16 For example, I’m an eye doll.
0:53:19 Sometimes I have to be forced to be a third bird, but I’m an eye doll.
0:53:23 So there’s three types of birds, and we’re going to find out what bird we are.
0:53:26 There’s a lark, a third bird, or an owl.
0:53:30 And it’s all based on your chronotype or your circadian rhythm.
0:53:35 So a lark is a morning person, an owl is an evening person, and a third bird is somewhere
0:53:36 in the middle.
0:53:42 It’s a buzzfeed quiz that literally takes two minutes to do, three minutes to do.
0:53:47 So again, take the quiz, youngandprofiting.co/bird, take a few minutes.
0:53:51 And if you score 80% on lark or owl, that is your type.
0:53:54 If you have more of a balance, you are a third bird.
0:53:58 So if you’re a night owl, you’re going to be doing analytical tests in the evening.
0:54:01 Whereas your lark, it’s the early morning.
0:54:04 Admin tasks are mid-afternoon for everyone.
0:54:07 Creative tasks, owls do well in the morning.
0:54:11 And I tried this, and it really works, like I’m so creative in the morning.
0:54:14 Making impression, everybody’s got to do it in the morning, sorry owls.
0:54:20 Making a decision late afternoon, evening for owls because we’re not alert in the morning.
0:54:24 Okay, let’s talk about temptation bundling.
0:54:29 So I learned this from Katie Milkman, and she says temptation bundling is when you pair
0:54:32 something you don’t like to do with something that you love to do.
0:54:34 It’s a great strategy.
0:54:39 So for example, only watching your favorite TV show while you fold laundry, only listening
0:54:43 to your favorite podcast while you exercise, only eating your favorite snack while you
0:54:48 pay your bills, only getting a pedicure while checking your email, only scrolling your social
0:54:51 media if you wake up by 6 a.m.
0:54:56 So temptation bundling can help make unpleasant tasks seem less stressful, increasing the
0:54:57 chances of doing these tasks.
0:55:01 The key is that you only allow yourself to do the thing you love if you’re doing the
0:55:03 thing that you hate.
0:55:07 So the five-minute bundle exercise is basically in a two-column list, you’re going to write
0:55:13 down the pleasures you enjoy and the temptations you want to do, and in column two you’re going
0:55:17 to write down the tasks and behaviors that you should be doing, but often procrastinate
0:55:18 on.
0:55:20 And then you’re going to write down as many behaviors as possible.
0:55:24 And then you’re going to want to link one of your instantly gratifying wants and behaviors
0:55:27 with something that you should be doing.
0:55:30 Some last tips for chewing glass and we’re going to get on to some mental health stuff
0:55:32 is gamifier tasks.
0:55:34 So can I finish this task in 25 minutes?
0:55:41 One of my favorite things to do every morning to keep my kitchen and desk space clean is
0:55:42 I play a game.
0:55:45 Can I clean my kitchen by the time my coffee is finished brewing?
0:55:47 I do this with everything.
0:55:50 Can I clean my whole house by the time this laundry is done?
0:55:54 Anything that has some sort of timer, I’m like gamifying and like making myself do some sort
0:55:59 of chore because otherwise it’s really hard for me to do it.
0:56:02 Can I read 20 pages of a book today?
0:56:06 Another thing I love is let’s say you end a meeting early or you’ve got like a five minute
0:56:09 break or a 10 minute break in between your next meeting.
0:56:12 Can I do this email in five minutes before my next meeting?
0:56:15 Can I call my mom in this 10 minutes before my next meeting?
0:56:16 Right?
0:56:20 So like if you have little chunks of time squeezing in something that you have to do
0:56:24 and seeing if you could do it, also breaking your projects into daily challenges, you must
0:56:27 complete to win the game.
0:56:30 Let’s hold that thought and take a quick break with our sponsors.
0:56:36 YapGang, I appreciate a good deal just like anyone else, but I’m not going to cross a
0:56:41 desert or walk through a bed of hot coals just to save a few bucks.
0:56:45 It needs to be straightforward, no complications, and no nonsense.
0:56:49 So when Mint Mobile said that I could get wireless service for just 15 bucks a month
0:56:52 with a three month plan, I was skeptical.
0:56:56 But it is truly that simple to secure wireless at 15 bucks a month.
0:56:59 And Mint Mobile made my transition incredibly easy.
0:57:01 The entire process was online.
0:57:04 It was easy to purchase, easy to activate, and easy to save money.
0:57:09 The only lengthy part that took up any time was waiting on hold to cancel my previous
0:57:10 provider.
0:57:13 If you want to get started, just go to mintmobile.com/profiting.
0:57:18 You’ll see right now that all the three month plans are only 15 bucks a month, including
0:57:20 the unlimited plan.
0:57:24 All plans come with high speed data and unlimited talk and text, delivered on the nation’s
0:57:26 largest 5G network.
0:57:30 And don’t worry, you can use your own phone and keep your current phone number with any
0:57:32 Mint Mobile plan.
0:57:36 Find out how easy it is to switch to Mint Mobile and get three months of premium wireless
0:57:38 for just 15 bucks a month.
0:57:42 To get this new customer offer and your new three month premium wireless plan for just
0:57:46 15 bucks a month, go to mintmobile.com/profiting.
0:57:49 That’s mintmobile.com/profiting.
0:57:54 Cut your wireless bill to just 15 bucks a month at mintmobile.com/profiting.
0:57:58 $45 upfront payment required, equivalent to $15 a month.
0:58:01 New customers on first three month plan only.
0:58:04 Speed slower above 40 GB on unlimited plan.
0:58:07 Additional taxes, fees, and restrictions apply.
0:58:09 See Mint Mobile for details.
0:58:12 Young Improvinters, when I started my podcast, I had a volunteer team.
0:58:17 I was able to just go on social media, put up a post, recruit some interns, and it was
0:58:18 no big deal.
0:58:22 But as we scaled as a company, I need real A players.
0:58:26 I need people with experience, but we’re a small company.
0:58:27 And so I don’t have an HR team.
0:58:32 However, I found the secret sauce to hiring effectively with no HR team.
0:58:35 And the secret is Indeed.
0:58:39 Indeed is your go-to hiring and matching platform where you can find vet and lock in the best
0:58:41 talent all in one place.
0:58:45 Stop bouncing around between different job sites and let Indeed’s matching engine help
0:58:48 you build your dream team fast.
0:58:53 I’m super glad I found Indeed when I did because now hiring is so much easier.
0:58:54 We’re not just doing it from scratch.
0:58:57 We do our hiring all in one place.
0:58:59 Indeed matches you with quality candidates.
0:59:04 In fact, a recent survey found that 93% of employers agree that Indeed delivers the highest
0:59:07 quality matches compared to other job sites.
0:59:12 Getting high quality matches the minute you put up a post saves you so much time.
0:59:13 Trust me.
0:59:15 I know.
0:59:19 During the over 3 million businesses worldwide that use Indeed to hire A players fast and
0:59:25 listeners of the show will get a $75 sponsored job credit to give your jobs more visibility
0:59:28 at indeed.com/profiting.
0:59:33 That’s indeed.com/profiting and tell Indeed you heard about them on this podcast.
0:59:35 Terms and conditions apply.
0:59:36 Need to hire.
0:59:37 You need.
0:59:38 Indeed.
0:59:39 Yeah, fam.
0:59:42 If you’re anything like me, you didn’t start your business to spend all your time managing
0:59:46 finances, budgeting, invoicing and tax prep.
0:59:49 Not exactly the fun part of entrepreneurship.
0:59:54 My CEO Jason on the other hand is great at finances, but even he doesn’t want to switch
0:59:59 between five different apps for banking, expense tracking and contractor payments.
1:00:01 We wanted a tool that could just do it all.
1:00:02 And guess what?
1:00:03 We found one.
1:00:06 And yes, it’s called found.
1:00:11 Found is an all in one financial tool made for entrepreneurs and solopreneurs.
1:00:15 Found handles everything, business banking, bookkeeping, invoicing, vendor payments and
1:00:17 even tax planning.
1:00:19 No more juggling multiple apps.
1:00:22 Found does it all in one place.
1:00:27 With smart features like automatic expense tracking, virtual cards for specific budgets
1:00:30 and no hidden fees or minimum balances.
1:00:32 Found helps us stay organized and save time.
1:00:34 Plus, signing up is quick and easy.
1:00:37 No paperwork or credit checks required.
1:00:41 Join the 500,000 small business owners who trust found.
1:00:43 Start your business banking working for you.
1:00:47 Try found for free at found.com/profiting.
1:00:52 Stop getting lost in countless finance apps and try found for free at found.com/profiting.
1:00:57 Sign up for found for free at foud.com/profiting.
1:01:00 Found is a financial technology company, not a bank.
1:01:04 Banking services are provided by Pyrmont Bank, member FDIC.
1:01:05 Found’s core features are free.
1:01:11 They also offer an optional paid product found plus.
1:01:17 All right, my favorite part of today’s presentation, reducing stress and anxiety.
1:01:22 This I think is the most life changing stuff that I’m about to go over, that I was most
1:01:24 excited to go over with everyone.
1:01:28 So let’s talk about Benjamin Hardy’s The Gap and the Game.
1:01:33 Most people, especially highly ambitious people are unhappy because of how they measure their
1:01:35 progress.
1:01:39 As entrepreneurs, we’re constantly measuring ourselves on new goal posts.
1:01:43 Our goals are constantly moving and moving and moving and moving.
1:01:47 When I first had the idea to start a podcast, first I wanted to launch my podcast.
1:01:49 Then I wanted to get $10,000.
1:01:52 Then I wanted to be the top 200 podcaster.
1:01:54 Then I wanted to be a top 10 podcaster.
1:01:56 Then I wanted to have a podcast network.
1:01:59 And the goal just keeps moving and moving and moving.
1:02:04 And if you’re always measuring yourself against your future self, against this ideal that you
1:02:09 have, against your top competitor, you’re always in the gap.
1:02:13 You’re always thinking of yourself as a loser who’s not there yet.
1:02:18 You’re always thinking about everything that you aren’t yet, right?
1:02:25 So Benjamin says that we need to measure ourselves against our past selves.
1:02:30 When we measure ourselves against our past selves instead of our future selves, now we’re
1:02:31 in the game.
1:02:35 Now we’re doing game thinking because think about it.
1:02:40 You were so much different than you were last year, five years ago, 10 years ago.
1:02:41 You’ve gone so far.
1:02:44 So again, with my example, I’m a top 100 podcast.
1:02:47 Six years ago, I didn’t even have a podcast.
1:02:52 I’ve 1000xed my progress since then.
1:02:54 And that makes me feel really good and positive.
1:02:58 And when you feel really good and positive, you attract more of that in your life.
1:03:04 So measuring your current self versus your former self has enormous psychological benefits.
1:03:06 But you don’t want to stay there for too long.
1:03:09 You need to also think about your future.
1:03:13 So if you want to be happy, if you want to be content, if you want to be not stressed,
1:03:18 not anxious, you need to have a happy past and an exciting future.
1:03:19 That is the formula.
1:03:23 You need to have a happy past and an exciting future.
1:03:24 So let’s talk about reframing your past.
1:03:26 This is so important.
1:03:30 You can apply the Pareto principle, the 80/20 rule, to your past.
1:03:36 Chances are that 80% of how you’re framing your past is not really useful to you anymore.
1:03:40 Your memory and the narrative of your past is actually not fixed.
1:03:42 It’s constantly under revision.
1:03:47 And I talked to Layla Hermose and she mentioned that a lot of your own memories aren’t even
1:03:48 reality.
1:03:52 Like they’ve done studies where people don’t even remember reality correctly.
1:03:58 And your past is basically a story that you tell yourself that you decided is the story.
1:04:03 But you can change that story because your past determines how you feel and your self-esteem
1:04:04 in the present.
1:04:07 So you constantly want to be looking at the past with a gain mindset.
1:04:11 You want to try to reframe your past and frame it positively.
1:04:12 How did you grow?
1:04:13 How did you learn?
1:04:17 The other thing you want to think about is that you are not your past self.
1:04:20 Benjamin taught me this and this to me was mind blowing.
1:04:24 I couldn’t stop thinking about this because it’s so true.
1:04:28 You are literally not even the person you were 10 minutes ago, not even the person you
1:04:32 were yesterday, not the person you were last week, not the person you were last year.
1:04:33 You have different experiences.
1:04:34 You have different perspectives.
1:04:36 You’ve learned new things.
1:04:38 You are not your past self.
1:04:39 You made a mistake 10 years ago.
1:04:41 You are not that person anymore.
1:04:42 Somebody hurt you.
1:04:43 Somebody broke up with you.
1:04:45 Somebody did you wrong.
1:04:47 They’re not that same person anymore.
1:04:49 So who are you even mad at?
1:04:50 Who do you resent?
1:04:52 They don’t exist anymore.
1:04:54 The past doesn’t even exist, right?
1:04:57 And it’s up to you to think about what your past is.
1:04:58 How do you grow from it?
1:05:00 I’ll give you guys a quick story.
1:05:06 When I was 22, I got fired from an internship that I had at a radio station where I worked
1:05:07 for free for three years.
1:05:11 And when I first started getting interviewed on podcasts, I’d get asked about this.
1:05:15 And I used to tell this story about how I worked for Angie Martinez.
1:05:17 She kind of like abused me.
1:05:18 She was really tough.
1:05:20 She never paid me a dollar.
1:05:21 Then she fired me.
1:05:23 She blackballed me from the industry.
1:05:26 She tried to crush my dreams.
1:05:28 And I used to tell this story.
1:05:32 And when I talked to Benjamin, I realized, why am I still telling this story?
1:05:34 The story does not serve me.
1:05:39 And if I can look at this maturely, maybe I wasn’t ready for the job.
1:05:43 Maybe there was something wrong with me that Angie saw.
1:05:45 Angie taught me so much.
1:05:49 The whole reason why I’m so good at radio and production now is all the skills that
1:05:50 I learned from that experience.
1:05:53 Maybe she thought I was ungrateful.
1:05:54 And how much have I changed since then?
1:05:56 I’m not even that same person.
1:05:58 Angie’s not even that same person anymore.
1:06:03 So why am I telling this story and making myself feel like a victim and attracting more
1:06:05 of this victimhood in my life?
1:06:08 So I stopped telling that story.
1:06:11 So a positive past sets you up for a positive future.
1:06:14 I want you guys to think about what is a negative story you tell about your past that you will
1:06:16 start to reframe.
1:06:18 We talked about past.
1:06:20 Now we need to talk about future.
1:06:26 So it’s good to think about your past, reframe it, have a game mindset, retell the negative
1:06:30 stories that you have in your life, relearn the negative stories that you have about
1:06:36 yourself so that you can feel positive in the present and be able to be somebody who
1:06:38 you want to be in the future.
1:06:41 So many people don’t think about their future self.
1:06:44 You assume you’re going to be the same in 10, 20 or 30 years from now.
1:06:50 I’m literally nothing like the person I was 10 years ago, nothing like it, nothing like
1:06:52 I’m a different person.
1:06:54 You are going to be different than you think in five, 10 years.
1:06:59 You’re going to be wildly different person than you think if you’re intentional.
1:07:03 So you need to remember you’re never your past self and you’re always growing into your
1:07:05 future self.
1:07:06 So what does that mean?
1:07:08 You need to get clear and connected with your future self.
1:07:12 You need to decide who you want to be in the future.
1:07:15 And then you need to use that vision of the future to guide and direct who you want to
1:07:16 be.
1:07:23 One thing that we have as entrepreneurs is that we tend to define our future in only
1:07:25 the context of entrepreneurship.
1:07:27 Even I was just doing it right now.
1:07:31 I was talking about being a podcaster and how like that was all I was, right?
1:07:33 I’m not just a podcaster.
1:07:35 I’m a best friend.
1:07:36 I’m a sister.
1:07:38 I’m a lover.
1:07:39 There’s a lot of things to me.
1:07:40 I’m a workout addict.
1:07:43 I have more things to me than just an entrepreneur.
1:07:49 And it’s the more things that make you well-rounded, that make it so if something happens in your
1:07:54 business, you don’t have stress, you don’t have anxiety because that’s just one small
1:07:55 aspect of your life.
1:07:56 It’s not everything.
1:07:58 You need to start separating your identity from your business.
1:08:01 I need to realize that your work does not define you.
1:08:06 And that means you need to decide who your future self is in work and outside of work.
1:08:08 Who do you want to be?
1:08:09 How do you want to become a well-rounded person?
1:08:12 So this is where you guys bring out your pen and paper.
1:08:14 We’re going to do it together.
1:08:18 So this is called the I am I should future you exercise.
1:08:20 This is something I want everybody to do.
1:08:27 So get out of pen and paper, write a two column list, write I am on the top of one column,
1:08:30 write I should on the top of the other column.
1:08:35 For the I am column, I want you guys to imagine yourself in five years.
1:08:39 Write what you see about yourself, who you envision, who you want to be in five years
1:08:40 in the I am column.
1:08:43 So I am a loving dad.
1:08:45 I am an amazing daughter.
1:08:47 I am a talented painter.
1:08:54 I am an accomplished skier, whatever you want to be, you’re going to write it in the I am
1:08:55 column.
1:08:57 Do that first.
1:09:02 Once you’ve thought about who you want to be and remember, don’t just do things about
1:09:03 work.
1:09:08 Do things about your personal life because we need to start to acknowledge the fact
1:09:14 that we need to make time for relationships, make time for health and mental health.
1:09:16 Then you’re going to write I should.
1:09:20 What are the things you should be doing now to be more like the person you want to become
1:09:24 and think about as a daily, weekly or monthly task.
1:09:25 I’m a loving dad.
1:09:28 I should drive my son to school every day.
1:09:32 I should spend 30 minutes every day doing homework with my son.
1:09:33 I’m a talented painter.
1:09:36 I should take a painting class at least once a month.
1:09:43 I should practice painting every weekend because then we’re going to take those items as homework
1:09:49 and put it in your weekly and daily and monthly tracker and schedule it in your calendar and
1:09:52 become more of who you want to be because it doesn’t happen by accident.
1:09:55 It happens by intention.
1:10:00 I am column, I should column, write down the adjective and persona, the thing you want
1:10:06 to become more of, loving dad, loving mother, great sister, talented, pianist, whatever
1:10:11 the heck you want to be and then what are the things you should be doing today in the
1:10:17 present and think about it as a daily, weekly or monthly task to do this.
1:10:19 Really quick, we talked about the past.
1:10:21 We talked about the future.
1:10:23 Let’s talk about our present.
1:10:28 We also need to feel best in our present and when things are going wrong, it can be hard
1:10:32 to just focus on your future self and ignore all the things that are going wrong.
1:10:36 One of the things that you can do is practice self distancing to reduce your anxiety in
1:10:37 the moment.
1:10:43 Ethan Cross taught me about the Batman effect, so thinking about a superhero, which really
1:10:44 is the future you.
1:10:45 Who do you want to be in the future?
1:10:48 How would future you handle this situation?
1:10:53 If you were everything you wanted to be and you had all the strengths and you improved
1:10:56 as a person, how would you handle the current moment?
1:10:59 The other thing people say is to talk to yourself in the third person.
1:11:01 Talk to yourself like a best friend.
1:11:06 Self distancing gives you more space to think rationally, to think about the facts and view
1:11:12 a situation with less emotion, less passion so that you can just think clearly.
1:11:14 You might want to think about who is your superhero.
1:11:20 For example, Beyonce has Sasha Fiers so that she can go on stage and be sexy and be an
1:11:21 entertainer.
1:11:23 It helps because it’s not you that has to perform.
1:11:24 It’s Batman.
1:11:26 That’s a Batman effect.
1:11:31 Now, if you are struggling with stress and anxiety, you’re a perfect candidate to get
1:11:33 therapy with better health.
1:11:36 Not everything in life should be DIY.
1:11:42 Therapy really helps with stress, anxiety, burnout, relationship stressors.
1:11:44 It gets to the root cause of what’s causing your stress.
1:11:46 You really don’t want to do mental health DIY.
1:11:50 This webinar was great, but it’s not going to solve all your problems.
1:11:53 Now we’re going to talk about improving relationships.
1:11:58 The last section of today, so number one, Jordan Harbinger is one of my best friends.
1:12:03 He’s my mentor and he taught me about digging the well before you’re thirsty.
1:12:05 Here’s the thing with relationships.
1:12:06 You need them.
1:12:08 They’re your greatest insurance.
1:12:14 If your company shuts down, if you need a new job, if you need help, your network is
1:12:16 how you get it.
1:12:19 But the thing is, you can’t just reach out to people when you need something.
1:12:22 That’s very transactional and people won’t want to help you.
1:12:27 That means you’ve got to continually nourish and nurture your relationships before you
1:12:28 actually need them.
1:12:33 You want to grow your social capital by reaching out to people when you don’t need them.
1:12:38 One of the ways that Jordan provides value and is of service to his network is by introducing
1:12:41 his contacts to one another.
1:12:45 He has this program constantly running in the back of his mind where he’s identifying
1:12:50 people’s needs and finding somebody capable and trustworthy to help fulfill them.
1:12:54 If somebody tells him, “Oh, man, I wish I could figure out LinkedIn,” he’ll be like,
1:12:56 “Oh, I got the perfect friend.
1:12:57 Hala can help you.”
1:12:59 He’s always sending me these emails.
1:13:00 “Hey, I got this friend.
1:13:01 He’s interested in LinkedIn.
1:13:02 Do you want an introduction?”
1:13:06 He’s doing these, it’s called double opt-in intros where he’s asking me, “Do I want
1:13:07 an intro?”
1:13:08 He’s asking them if I want an intro.
1:13:11 Then he’s making an intro together because you don’t want to necessarily put, especially
1:13:14 if somebody is famous or something, you don’t want to put them on an email thread without
1:13:16 letting them know.
1:13:19 Also, people are more likely to help you if you keep in touch before you need their
1:13:20 help.
1:13:26 Again, you need a job and you’ve got some contacts that works at a Fortune 500 company.
1:13:28 You haven’t talked to him in six years.
1:13:29 You go ask him for a job.
1:13:31 He’s going to be like, “What the heck?
1:13:32 I don’t even know you.
1:13:34 Why would I recommend you for this?
1:13:35 I don’t even know you.”
1:13:40 But if every three months you’re reaching out, you’re giving him a helpful article, you’ve
1:13:45 made introductions to him, you’ve just asked him how he’s doing, then, “Oh, that Hala girl,
1:13:46 she’s so sweet.
1:13:47 She’s awesome.
1:13:48 Of course, I’ll recommend you.
1:13:49 She’s awesome.”
1:13:53 So you want to think through, what are all your dormant contacts?
1:13:57 Because right now, you probably don’t need anything from them.
1:14:01 Perfect time to make a list of your dormant contacts and reach out to them.
1:14:06 So go think back from your school times, from all your past jobs, from your neighbor’s
1:14:09 dad, whatever it is.
1:14:13 Write down all your most important dormant contacts that you have and get their contact
1:14:18 information and start creating a plan to rekindle that relationship before you need
1:14:19 them.
1:14:20 Dig the well before you’re thirsty.
1:14:26 Jordan also has an awesome practice called the Daily Connect for Method, and he does
1:14:30 this while he’s waiting online in Starbucks, walking to the gym.
1:14:34 He just does it in his free Q-time, he calls it.
1:14:38 So he basically gets four people from the bottom of his text messages, his social media
1:14:42 DMs, or email every day to reconnect and just see what they need.
1:14:44 And he sends them a very simple message, “Hey, it’s been a while.
1:14:46 What’s the latest with you?”
1:14:49 So when they reply, it just kick-starts a conversation.
1:14:53 It likely will lead to an organic opportunity to ask what they need to spot an opportunity
1:14:54 to be of service.
1:14:57 So this is called Connect 4.
1:15:02 And now this is the last portion of today’s session, and this is all about listening.
1:15:07 Nor are diverse people, especially for ADHD, I think one of the things that hurts us in
1:15:11 our relationships is our inability to listen properly.
1:15:17 And I think this impacts lots of people, because we’ve just been trained to be selfish, and
1:15:20 we, as people, like to talk about ourselves.
1:15:25 But listening is always about the other person, if you’re really trying to deepen a connection
1:15:30 and to make somebody basically like you more and want to spend time with you.
1:15:32 And there’s levels of listening.
1:15:35 So there’s inward listening, which is like the lowest level.
1:15:39 You hear what the other person says from your perspective, and you relate it to your own
1:15:40 experience.
1:15:46 So your friend says, “I really love Vietnamese food,” and you’re like, “Oh, me too.”
1:15:50 Or you say, “Oh, I never had it, but I like Thai food.”
1:15:51 That’s inward listening.
1:15:55 You hear what they say, and immediately you’re like, “What’s my experience about that?”
1:15:59 This form of listening helps us find commonalities and shared opinions.
1:16:03 It’s a key aspect of likeability, but you’re being very selfish in the conversation, you’re
1:16:06 not deepening your relationship.
1:16:12 inward listening is when you make it about the speaker, and you relate to what you hear
1:16:13 about what they said.
1:16:16 So I really love Vietnamese food.
1:16:17 Oh, really?
1:16:18 What’s your favorite plate?
1:16:19 Where do you like to eat it?
1:16:20 Oh, really?
1:16:21 I never had it.
1:16:22 What’s your favorite dish?
1:16:23 Is it spicy?
1:16:25 Is it not spicy?
1:16:29 So you’re asking them about their opinions, and you’re digging more about their interests,
1:16:32 and you’re showing that you care about them because you’re asking about them, and people
1:16:34 love to talk about themselves.
1:16:37 The last one is listening intuitively.
1:16:41 So this entails not only focusing on the words a person says, but the tone of their voice,
1:16:42 their body language, and even their energy.
1:16:45 So, oh my God, I love Vietnamese food.
1:16:48 Oh, you sound so excited about this.
1:16:51 Do you want to go to Vietnam or something?
1:16:52 Right?
1:16:55 Listening to what they say, and realizing that there’s more to what they’re saying aside
1:16:58 from just what they’re saying, listening to their voice, their body language.
1:16:59 Okay?
1:17:00 So these are the three levels of listening.
1:17:06 You want to practice getting up the ladder, making sure you are doing at least inward listening,
1:17:09 you are doing outward listening, and you’re listening intuitively.
1:17:14 So we’re going to do one game to close this out, and we’re going to find out what kind
1:17:15 of listener are you.
1:17:16 All right?
1:17:19 So one last game to close this out, and then we are done with today’s session.
1:17:21 So what kind of listener are you?
1:17:25 Rate the following listening scenarios from one to ten, with one being most like you,
1:17:26 and ten being the least.
1:17:27 All right?
1:17:28 Let’s get started.
1:17:30 Write yourself one to ten.
1:17:35 Your coworker is telling you about how her boyfriend of three years abruptly dumped her
1:17:36 the night before.
1:17:41 You appear to be listening, nodding, smiling when appropriate, making those sad eyes when
1:17:43 she tears up.
1:17:46 You even interject the occasional, “Uh-huh.”
1:17:49 But in your mind, you’re planning what to order for lunch.
1:17:50 This is like so me.
1:17:53 I’m like ten all the way in this one.
1:17:57 One means that you’re not really like it, and ten means you are like this.
1:17:59 This reminds you of you.
1:18:05 If you scored highly on this, you’re a faker, okay?
1:18:06 That’s your listening style.
1:18:07 You’re a faker.
1:18:11 On the surface, you appear to be fully engaged in what the other person is saying, but if
1:18:15 they only knew you were thinking about your lunch, you’re completely checked out and thinking
1:18:17 about other topics when people are talking to you.
1:18:20 This is like ADHD classic.
1:18:21 How to improve?
1:18:22 You got to be engaged.
1:18:26 You got to ask questions about what the other person is talking about.
1:18:29 This will help keep you engaged and make the other person feel hurt.
1:18:33 The other tip that I got from my ADHD coach is actually staring people in the eyes and
1:18:35 really looking at them in the eyes.
1:18:41 If you’re on the phone, staring at yourself in the mirror because it makes you feel like
1:18:44 you’re looking at somebody else in the eyes.
1:18:45 Ask questions.
1:18:51 Make yourself pay attention because your job is to do some outward listening, what we just
1:18:55 learned about, to ask questions to dig deeper, to keep yourself engaged, make the other person
1:18:56 feel hurt.
1:18:59 Make sure that you’re actually paying attention.
1:19:00 All right.
1:19:02 Rate yourself one through 10.
1:19:06 Your friend is telling you about a new marketing idea they want to pitch to their boss.
1:19:10 You feed off their enthusiasm and start spreading out your own ideas.
1:19:13 No need to wait for them to finish their thoughts or even pause to take a breath.
1:19:17 You need to get all of your ideas out before you forget them and your brilliance on this
1:19:19 topic is lost forever.
1:19:22 It’s so funny how everyone’s different, right?
1:19:26 Some of these I’m like, I don’t relate to at all and some of them are like, it’s totally
1:19:27 me.
1:19:28 Okay.
1:19:29 The interrupter.
1:19:32 No need to wait for the other person to finish their sentence.
1:19:34 You’ve got something really important to say.
1:19:37 You better get your thoughts out before you forget them.
1:19:38 How to improve.
1:19:42 You’ve got to turn your attention away from your own ideas and switch your focus to the
1:19:43 speaker.
1:19:45 Try to understand their motivation instead of your own.
1:19:47 Again, outward listening.
1:19:48 Ask about them.
1:19:49 Don’t make it about you.
1:19:52 You want to deepen your relationships and make people like you more, want to spend more
1:19:55 time with you, care about you as a friend.
1:20:01 You can’t just be interrupting people and not letting them speak their thoughts.
1:20:05 There’s time and place for you to give your ideas, not when somebody is having their own
1:20:09 idea that they probably spent a lot more time thinking about than you.
1:20:13 Your boss is presenting the next team project.
1:20:16 Everyone else is paying attention, taking notes, but you just keep wondering, where’s
1:20:17 his logic?
1:20:19 Does this even make sense?
1:20:22 Why did she use that word?
1:20:25 Your boss seems very excited about the new project, but her feelings are not important
1:20:26 to you.
1:20:30 You just want to understand the overall theme and logic of what she’s talking about.
1:20:32 The logical listener.
1:20:36 You can barely focus on what the other person is talking about because you are too busy trying
1:20:39 to uncover the logic and pattern of what they’re saying.
1:20:40 Where are they going with this?
1:20:41 You ask.
1:20:45 You often miss parts of the story because you’re just searching for your logic.
1:20:48 You got to get out of your own head and connect with the speaker.
1:20:54 Maybe offer a compliment, ask a personal question, also practice remembering the information.
1:20:57 It’s okay to order it, but don’t judge it.
1:21:00 Just listen before you judge.
1:21:02 Listen wholeheartedly before you judge.
1:21:06 All right, your significant other starts telling you about their crazy day at the office, but
1:21:09 before long, you have hijacked the conversation.
1:21:11 You had even a crazier day.
1:21:12 You’re sure of it.
1:21:13 They won’t mind you sharing your story.
1:21:15 It’s probably more interesting than their story anyway.
1:21:17 We’ve got a lot of high scores in this one.
1:21:19 There’s a Fisher.
1:21:23 You listen to others while seeking out the perfect opportunity to jump in and show them
1:21:25 how their story relates back to you.
1:21:27 You often say things like, “The same thing happened to me.
1:21:29 Let me tell you about the time.”
1:21:30 How to improve.
1:21:34 Fill that lull in the conversation with a question or clarification or offer some words
1:21:37 to show you understand their experience.
1:21:41 Leave your ego out of the conversation and find other ways to feel good about yourself.
1:21:46 Your son’s teacher is explaining what she will be focusing on over the next quarter while
1:21:50 she’s talking or thinking, “What’s wrong with this picture?
1:21:52 I just know there’s a flaw in her argument somewhere.
1:21:54 I’m not argumentative.
1:21:56 I just like a good debate.”
1:21:58 You’re just trying to figure out what’s wrong with what she’s saying.
1:22:03 All right, if you scored high on this one, you are the rebuttal maker.
1:22:08 You don’t consider yourself argumentative, though you’re always accused of being difficult.
1:22:12 You have a knack for finding what’s wrong with what other people are saying and you feel
1:22:15 obligated to let them know about it.
1:22:19 Look for the why of what the speaker is talking about rather than the what’s wrong, letting
1:22:22 the conversation naturally run its course will ultimately yield the answer that you’re
1:22:24 looking for.
1:22:28 This hopefully is eye-opening to make you think about like, “Oh, man, I really need to stop
1:22:29 doing these bad habits.”
1:22:30 Right?
1:22:31 All right, last one.
1:22:35 Your coworker combines in the way that they’re considering leaving their job to travel for
1:22:38 a few months, but they’re not sure if it’s a good time.
1:22:41 This is an easy problem, you think, “Actually, it’s not even a problem.
1:22:43 I can solve this for you in no time.”
1:22:47 By the end of the conversation, they’ll be set straight and much happier.
1:22:50 All right, we’ve got some 10s, we’ve got some low scores.
1:22:52 You are the advice giver.
1:22:54 You see yourself as a great giver advice.
1:22:58 You love to help other people with problems even when they didn’t even ask for guidance.
1:23:01 You often don’t even need to hear their full story to know what they should do.
1:23:03 You’re just that good.
1:23:06 Okay, this reminds me of Tim.
1:23:10 Practice sympathy instead of problem-solving, giving the other person room and time to find
1:23:14 their own answer will be better for them and for the relationship between the two of you.
1:23:17 You may even get a thanks for listening.
1:23:21 Nobody likes to be given advice when they didn’t ask for advice, especially if you don’t
1:23:22 know anything about the topic.
1:23:26 You just want to listen, especially when somebody has a problem.
1:23:31 Most of the time, they just want you to listen, unless they explicitly ask you for advice.
1:23:35 All right, guys, that is the session.
1:23:39 If you guys want to thank me, write a review, a five-star review on Apple.
1:23:44 If you guys felt like, man, this was an awesome two hours with Hala, write me an Apple podcast
1:23:45 review.
1:23:50 Check out BetterHelp, they are the sponsors of today’s presentation, would not be happening
1:23:51 without them.
1:23:56 If you got value from this, you’re definitely going to get value from having therapy, being
1:23:59 able to talk to somebody one-on-one every single week.
1:24:02 Make sure you avoid burnout, have somebody to talk to that’s not going to judge you.
1:24:04 It is really affordable.
1:24:09 You will be less stressed out and be more productive and be happier.
1:24:11 It will make you money.
1:24:14 Investing in yourself and your mental health is good for you.
1:24:15 It’s good for business.
1:24:19 All right, guys, until next time, bye all.
1:24:20 .
1:24:30 [Music]
1:24:33 (upbeat music)