I Did Nothing For 2 Weeks. It Made Me Better At Everything.

0:00:02 You know, I have a soft spot in my heart for immigrants.
0:00:03 You do love immigrants, dude.
0:00:05 Yeah, like Korean store owner energy.
0:00:07 It’s almost racist how much you love immigrants.
0:00:08 Yeah.
0:00:11 I feel like I can rule the world.
0:00:13 I know I could be what I want to.
0:00:16 I put my all in it like no days off.
0:00:18 On the road, let’s travel, never look.
0:00:19 Dude, what’s going on?
0:00:22 I haven’t seen you in about two weeks.
0:00:25 I had a baby, and so I took about two weeks off.
0:00:27 You were doing some family stuff.
0:00:27 What’s going on?
0:00:29 Let’s talk about your baby first,
0:00:30 because it’s much happier.
0:00:31 I went to my grandpa’s funeral,
0:00:35 so let’s not start with the saddest news possible.
0:00:36 Tell me about the baby.
0:00:39 Yeah, so we were due, I think, on the 20th,
0:00:42 on the 13th, or the 12th, or something like that.
0:00:44 My wife was like, I don’t want to freak you out,
0:00:45 and it was 10 p.m. at night.
0:00:46 She’s like, my water just broke.
0:00:48 Dude, what an unbelievable sentence.
0:00:50 She didn’t want to freak you out?
0:00:52 She’s so considerate as her water broke?
0:00:53 That’s unbelievable.
0:00:55 That’s the most Sarah thing I’ve ever heard.
0:00:57 And so we went to the hospital.
0:00:57 We gave birth.
0:00:58 She gave birth.
0:01:02 Don’t bring that wheat shit in here, okay?
0:01:04 This is a space for realness.
0:01:06 It was great for me.
0:01:07 No big deal.
0:01:09 I mean, I was exhausted,
0:01:10 and I complained about it for a week.
0:01:14 But I took two weeks off,
0:01:15 and it got me thinking,
0:01:15 Did you?
0:01:16 Wait, before we even get there,
0:01:18 I need to know, birthing situation,
0:01:19 what’s your role?
0:01:20 What are you doing?
0:01:20 Are you a handholder?
0:01:21 Are you a coacher?
0:01:23 Are you off to the side?
0:01:23 Are you the cameraman?
0:01:25 What are you doing?
0:01:26 She had to get a C-section.
0:01:28 So I don’t do anything.
0:01:28 You’re out of the room.
0:01:29 Yeah.
0:01:31 So I eventually came in the room,
0:01:34 and they give her medication that makes her shake or whatever.
0:01:38 And so I was basically just rubbing her face and calming her down.
0:01:41 But my wife is very stoic, so I’ve been lucky.
0:01:42 I don’t even know how to do things like that.
0:01:44 Sometimes I’m put in a situation.
0:01:46 I’m like, oh, this is where I’m supposed to be comforting.
0:01:49 And I’m like, I realize I’ve never once done that.
0:01:52 And so then, you know, it’s like when you swing a tennis racket,
0:01:53 the pressure’s all off.
0:01:56 You don’t really know how much force to apply, how much not to.
0:01:58 Why is my hand so sticky right now?
0:01:59 It’s terrible.
0:02:03 When I got engaged, I started to put my knee down on the ground.
0:02:05 I was like, a bat on the back will be fine.
0:02:13 It’s like the little things that you’ve never practiced that lunch,
0:02:15 and then giving a speech upwards.
0:02:17 It’s like a very strange thing.
0:02:17 Yeah.
0:02:19 Like, it’s just handshake.
0:02:21 Hey, put her there.
0:02:23 Yeah.
0:02:26 We did a pinky promise, and that’s held true.
0:02:29 My brother-in-law, when my sister was giving birth,
0:02:31 she had like a longer labor.
0:02:33 So it was like taking a while.
0:02:36 And then, you know, she like looks over at one point,
0:02:39 and he’s like napping on the couch in the room.
0:02:43 And she was like, hey, get your ass up.
0:02:44 He’s like, oh, sorry.
0:02:46 I’m just like so stressed and tired.
0:02:48 And she was like, you’re so stressed and tired.
0:02:51 And just like the venom, pure venom in that situation.
0:02:52 It was too much for him.
0:02:54 Yeah, there’s this funny joke.
0:02:57 It’s like, I’m so happy that women have to go through
0:02:58 hours and hours of labor and pain
0:03:00 so they can finally experience the pain
0:03:02 that a man feels when he has a cold.
0:03:07 But like I’ve, we have two children now.
0:03:09 I’ve experienced this, that basically,
0:03:11 you know, we are all built for things.
0:03:13 And sometimes we rise to the occasion,
0:03:15 and women just somehow like can fight
0:03:17 like being tired and in pain.
0:03:19 Whereas I’m just going to complain
0:03:21 if I get anything less than seven hours
0:03:22 a night of sleep.
0:03:25 So like, yeah, women kind of become like superheroes
0:03:26 during that, those moments.
0:03:28 And I’m happy that she did that.
0:03:29 So everyone’s healthy and happy.
0:03:30 I’m feeling great.
0:03:32 I took two weeks off.
0:03:35 And I was like chomping at the bit
0:03:37 to get back to it after like, honestly, four days.
0:03:40 Like I need a Zoom call.
0:03:42 Someone hit me with a Zoom call today.
0:03:45 What were we chomping at the bit to do exactly?
0:03:49 Like, you know, a newborn child doesn’t do anything.
0:03:50 They just sleep.
0:03:51 And I’m so happy.
0:03:52 You’re bored, yeah.
0:03:54 Yeah, like I’m so happy I get to experience with her.
0:03:55 But then in this particular case,
0:03:57 we have a two-year-old.
0:03:59 And so I get to spend time with her,
0:04:00 taking her to her classes and being like,
0:04:02 just so you know, I love you so much.
0:04:02 And like, you’re important,
0:04:04 even though all this new stuff is happening.
0:04:05 And so that like touched my heart.
0:04:06 And I’m so happy I had that.
0:04:08 But I didn’t need more than two weeks.
0:04:09 Two weeks is more than enough.
0:04:10 Did you agree?
0:04:11 Yeah, 100%.
0:04:13 Here’s, again, this is a zone of truth.
0:04:14 So here’s a few weeks.
0:04:16 Yeah, let’s clip this.
0:04:18 This is going to be a rage-baked clip
0:04:19 that’s going to go viral
0:04:22 on a tech bro’s opinion on maternity leave.
0:04:22 Go.
0:04:25 Let me tell you how it actually is.
0:04:28 Childbirth from the man’s perspective.
0:04:31 First of all, I would say a couple things.
0:04:34 There seems like there’s two groups of people.
0:04:36 There’s the people who touch their baby,
0:04:37 hold their baby for the first time,
0:04:38 and their life has changed,
0:04:39 and the endorphins kick in,
0:04:40 and there’s like this entire like,
0:04:42 you know, inner spiritual awakening.
0:04:44 Didn’t happen for me.
0:04:45 It doesn’t happen for a lot of people.
0:04:48 It takes me like 15 months to love a baby.
0:04:50 I care for the baby before then.
0:04:52 I wish the baby well.
0:04:54 I want no harm to be done to the baby,
0:04:56 but do I crave like holding and touching
0:04:57 and like, you know,
0:04:59 doing the things my wife loves about a baby?
0:04:59 She’s like, oh, the smell.
0:05:00 I’m like, the smell?
0:05:01 I don’t even smell the baby.
0:05:01 What do you mean?
0:05:02 Why are you sniffing the baby?
0:05:03 Can I save you?
0:05:04 You love your baby,
0:05:06 but you may not be in love with them.
0:05:09 I mean, that might be a little generous.
0:05:09 All right.
0:05:11 I was just trying to talk to you a lifeline.
0:05:12 I cared for the baby.
0:05:14 I wanted to love the baby,
0:05:15 but I didn’t actually feel anything
0:05:16 for like 15 months.
0:05:17 But then, by the way,
0:05:19 like after that,
0:05:20 it’s all in.
0:05:21 It’s an incredible experience.
0:05:22 And like my kids are,
0:05:24 I have a one and a half year old,
0:05:24 four year old,
0:05:25 four year old,
0:05:25 and a six year old.
0:05:26 And like, you know,
0:05:27 I can’t get enough now.
0:05:29 But that same like can’t get enough feeling,
0:05:30 I didn’t have that as a newborn.
0:05:31 But kind of normal from the man’s perspective,
0:05:32 I think.
0:05:35 The second thing is paternity leave.
0:05:36 A little bit confusing.
0:05:37 What I actually think is useful,
0:05:40 take the week off before birth
0:05:43 to like do little stuff around the house,
0:05:43 just be there,
0:05:45 be a calming presence.
0:05:46 And like, kind of like,
0:05:47 I don’t know,
0:05:50 take the load of everyday life
0:05:51 off of, you know,
0:05:54 your partner before birth.
0:05:55 I think that’s actually really useful.
0:05:56 Then, you know,
0:05:57 the first week or so,
0:05:58 the first few days,
0:06:00 just you want to have the calendar clear
0:06:00 because you never know
0:06:01 what’s going to happen in a birth.
0:06:02 Like, you know,
0:06:02 you never know what’s going on.
0:06:04 After that,
0:06:06 you’re really kind of like not that,
0:06:07 not particularly useful,
0:06:07 I would say,
0:06:08 or like I felt this way.
0:06:10 I wasn’t particularly useful
0:06:12 and kind of wish,
0:06:13 and I ended up doing this with my other kids,
0:06:14 like, you know,
0:06:16 plan time that’s like more intermittent
0:06:18 at other intervals.
0:06:19 So there’s like,
0:06:20 let’s say the two weeks,
0:06:21 kind of week before the birth,
0:06:21 week after the birth,
0:06:22 that’s a good window.
0:06:24 Then there’s kind of like two weeks,
0:06:26 let’s say around month three or four,
0:06:28 where sometimes you get a sleep regression
0:06:29 or you get other things.
0:06:31 And so spreading out the paternity,
0:06:32 I think is very useful.
0:06:33 When you just sit there,
0:06:34 sort of like at this,
0:06:36 the baby’s an inanimate object
0:06:36 at the beginning
0:06:38 and doesn’t really do a lot,
0:06:40 naps a ton.
0:06:41 And like,
0:06:42 assuming, you know,
0:06:42 health went well,
0:06:43 knock on wood,
0:06:44 there’s not a whole lot to do.
0:06:45 So I kind of agree with you.
0:06:46 That initial paternity leave
0:06:48 is a lot of like nervous energy
0:06:51 and not a lot of like productive help.
0:06:51 Yeah.
0:06:52 And it made me realize
0:06:54 that like taking time off
0:06:55 and like vacationing
0:06:56 and going somewhere
0:06:58 is kind of like lame
0:06:59 compared to taking time off
0:07:00 and just sitting at home
0:07:01 and walking around your town.
0:07:02 Like that’s actually
0:07:03 kind of like a special feeling.
0:07:04 It honestly felt like
0:07:06 a week mini retirement
0:07:07 because I was like,
0:07:09 I really put around in the morning
0:07:09 and not rush.
0:07:12 All right, I read a ton.
0:07:14 I would say almost a book a week.
0:07:15 And the reason I read so much
0:07:16 is because my philosophy
0:07:17 towards reading is
0:07:18 I want to see
0:07:19 what worked for the winners
0:07:19 that I love
0:07:21 and what strategies they use.
0:07:21 And then I want to see
0:07:24 what mistakes did they all make?
0:07:25 What were the common flaws
0:07:26 that they all had?
0:07:27 And I just want to avoid that.
0:07:29 And so HubSpot asked me
0:07:30 to put together a list
0:07:31 of the books that have changed
0:07:33 my life so far in 2025.
0:07:34 And I did that.
0:07:36 And so I listed out seven books
0:07:37 that made a meaningful difference
0:07:38 in my life.
0:07:39 And I explained
0:07:40 what the differences
0:07:41 that they had on my life.
0:07:42 or what actions I took
0:07:43 because of the book.
0:07:45 And then also I listed out
0:07:47 my very particular ways of reading
0:07:49 because I’m pretty strategic
0:07:50 about how I read
0:07:51 and how I read so much
0:07:52 and how I remember what I read
0:07:53 and things like that.
0:07:54 And so I put this together
0:07:56 in a very simple guide.
0:07:57 It’s seven books
0:07:59 that had a huge impact on my life.
0:08:01 And you can scan the QR code below
0:08:02 if you want to read it.
0:08:03 Or there’s a link.
0:08:04 You guys know what to do.
0:08:05 There’s a link in the description.
0:08:06 Just go ahead and click it
0:08:07 and you’ll see the guide that I made.
0:08:08 So it’s the seven books
0:08:10 that had a massive change
0:08:11 in my life.
0:08:11 this year so far.
0:08:12 And then also
0:08:14 how I’m able to read so much.
0:08:15 So check it out below.
0:08:17 Dude, have you ever read
0:08:19 have I told you about Aristotle?
0:08:20 Like I’ve been interested
0:08:21 in some of his work lately.
0:08:22 You haven’t told me about Aristotle.
0:08:23 Go on.
0:08:26 So Stoicism gets a lot of the credit
0:08:26 right now.
0:08:28 Stoicism is quite popular.
0:08:29 Yeah, so hot right now.
0:08:32 Yeah, so Marcus Aurelius
0:08:34 is the guy at the moment.
0:08:39 But Aristotle is one of the folks
0:08:40 who influenced a lot of these guys.
0:08:42 And I’m probably going to get
0:08:43 a lot of it wrong.
0:08:45 So spare me in the comments.
0:08:46 But basically,
0:08:47 like what I’ve been obsessed
0:08:48 with this idea
0:08:49 that he has
0:08:50 is this idea of flourishing.
0:08:51 And so I think
0:08:52 the Greek word of it
0:08:52 is udamame.
0:08:54 And it’s this idea
0:08:55 that like there’s like
0:08:56 12 or 14 virtues.
0:08:57 And so like
0:08:58 in order to be courageous,
0:08:59 which is one of his virtues,
0:09:01 on the right hand side
0:09:02 is reckless,
0:09:03 like being reckless.
0:09:04 And then on the left hand side
0:09:06 is basically being like a pussy.
0:09:07 I don’t know the right word,
0:09:08 but like being soft.
0:09:09 Timid.
0:09:11 Yeah, being timid.
0:09:12 And the middle part is courageous.
0:09:14 And then there’s like 14 of them,
0:09:15 which is like to be charitable,
0:09:16 you want to,
0:09:16 there’s like…
0:09:17 Oh, that’s kind of cool.
0:09:18 So it has the extremes
0:09:21 where the virtue becomes a vice
0:09:22 on either side, right?
0:09:22 Yeah.
0:09:24 The overdoing it
0:09:25 and then underdoing it.
0:09:25 Okay, I like that.
0:09:26 Yeah, and then there’s like charitable.
0:09:29 On one side is like being like ostentatious
0:09:30 and like giving too much
0:09:31 and actually hurting people,
0:09:32 which is like what like
0:09:34 a lot of like rich rappers would do,
0:09:35 like give all their friends like money.
0:09:36 And like enable your posse.
0:09:37 Yeah.
0:09:39 And then the other one is like
0:09:40 being like, you know…
0:09:40 Bigger pussy again.
0:09:41 Yeah.
0:09:42 That’s always the left side.
0:09:46 And so according to Aristotle,
0:09:47 one of the ways to live
0:09:49 a harmonious life
0:09:50 that’s full of flourishing,
0:09:52 which is not trying to be happy,
0:09:53 but to flourish.
0:09:55 You have to like have these
0:09:56 like 14 virtues.
0:09:58 And also he talks about leisure time
0:09:59 and how a lot of times
0:10:00 people think of leisure time
0:10:02 as a way to recoup from work.
0:10:03 But according to him,
0:10:05 a perfect life, a happy life,
0:10:06 a flourishing life
0:10:07 needs to have some leisure time
0:10:08 where you get to reflect.
0:10:10 And the reflection is the goal,
0:10:11 not the time that you take
0:10:13 to like refuel.
0:10:15 And I have been really obsessed
0:10:16 with a lot of his work
0:10:18 because it’s incredibly,
0:10:19 it’s an incredibly practical philosophy.
0:10:21 A lot of like philosophical stuff
0:10:23 is not particularly practical.
0:10:25 But I was like experiencing work recently
0:10:27 and I was going,
0:10:28 I was so happy to go home
0:10:28 to see my family.
0:10:30 I was happy to get up
0:10:30 in the morning to work out
0:10:31 and I was like,
0:10:32 why do I feel this way?
0:10:33 What’s going on?
0:10:34 And I was like,
0:10:34 I am flourishing.
0:10:36 I’m fucking flourishing.
0:10:37 That’s how I felt.
0:10:37 I’m like,
0:10:38 this is a,
0:10:38 this is,
0:10:39 this is like,
0:10:41 I don’t feel happy necessarily.
0:10:42 Like I feel like I’m working hard,
0:10:43 but at the moment,
0:10:45 stress does not equal pain.
0:10:47 Stress equals growth.
0:10:49 And so I felt wonderful.
0:10:50 And so taking my two weeks off
0:10:51 has just added to that
0:10:52 where I was like,
0:10:53 I feel,
0:10:54 I feel refreshed,
0:10:55 but I had so much time to reflect
0:10:57 and to like think about things.
0:10:57 And I love that.
0:10:59 And the importance of being leisure
0:11:01 and the importance of having unscheduled time,
0:11:02 which I know you do.
0:11:05 I think you said 20 days a year.
0:11:07 And so what’s interesting is that you,
0:11:07 you,
0:11:09 it seems as though you have come
0:11:10 to a similar conclusion
0:11:11 that Aristotle has come to,
0:11:14 which is the idea of like leisure time
0:11:14 just to reflect
0:11:15 and just to think.
0:11:17 And we’ve heard Bill Gates talk about that.
0:11:18 he has one week a year,
0:11:18 I think.
0:11:19 I think a week or whatever.
0:11:20 Yeah.
0:11:20 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
0:11:21 I really like that.
0:11:22 I,
0:11:24 I think I’m pretty poor
0:11:26 at one thing you said in there,
0:11:28 which is just making time to think.
0:11:31 Like if I look at my calendar,
0:11:32 I do have a lot of leisure time.
0:11:33 I play the piano,
0:11:34 I’ll go do a tennis lesson,
0:11:35 I’ll go play basketball,
0:11:35 I’ll do my workout,
0:11:36 I’ll play with my kids.
0:11:38 I do a lot of other stuff besides work.
0:11:39 So I get this kind of like,
0:11:40 you know,
0:11:41 fun life,
0:11:43 maybe a harmonious life,
0:11:44 maybe a balanced life.
0:11:44 But what I don’t do
0:11:45 is I don’t actually spend
0:11:46 a lot of time
0:11:48 time in silence
0:11:50 and like dedicated think time.
0:11:51 And I’ve been trying
0:11:52 to get better at this,
0:11:53 but in trying to get,
0:11:54 you know,
0:11:54 when you try to get better
0:11:55 at something,
0:11:56 you actually,
0:11:57 the first realization
0:11:58 is how far you have to go.
0:11:59 Like how,
0:12:00 how poor you actually are.
0:12:01 It’s sort of like flexibility.
0:12:02 You know,
0:12:03 it’s not really top of mind
0:12:04 until somebody says,
0:12:04 oh,
0:12:05 can you do this test?
0:12:06 and then you realize like,
0:12:07 oh my God,
0:12:07 no,
0:12:08 I’m not even close.
0:12:09 That’s how I am
0:12:10 about think time.
0:12:11 I don’t know about you,
0:12:13 but like I would say
0:12:14 in the past decade,
0:12:17 the amount of dedicated time
0:12:19 that I plan to think,
0:12:19 like I’m like,
0:12:19 oh,
0:12:20 I’m not,
0:12:21 I’m just actively
0:12:21 not going to do something
0:12:22 right now.
0:12:23 I’m not going to fill it
0:12:24 with something else.
0:12:26 That was like zero.
0:12:27 I honestly think it was zero
0:12:27 for like a day,
0:12:29 the last decade of my life.
0:12:30 I don’t think I ever actually
0:12:32 consciously spent think time.
0:12:32 Now,
0:12:34 I would think when I was driving,
0:12:35 I would think of something
0:12:36 in the shower,
0:12:38 but this is like an accident.
0:12:39 It’s a happy accident.
0:12:41 My brain was probably like,
0:12:41 oh dude,
0:12:43 we’ve got these thoughts queued up.
0:12:43 We’ve been waiting
0:12:44 to have a moment here
0:12:46 where you’re not stuffing in
0:12:48 new stuff into your brain
0:12:48 through your phone,
0:12:49 through your TV,
0:12:49 through your computer,
0:12:50 through a meeting,
0:12:52 through doing something,
0:12:53 through reading,
0:12:54 whatever it was.
0:12:56 And so dedicated think time
0:12:58 I think is extremely underrated.
0:13:00 I think I’m at the beginning
0:13:01 part of that curve
0:13:02 where I’m just starting to do it
0:13:03 and I’m just realizing,
0:13:04 oh man,
0:13:05 this is like so obvious
0:13:07 and I really wasn’t doing this before.
0:13:10 I remember when we met Tim Ferriss,
0:13:11 I asked him something.
0:13:12 I was like,
0:13:13 what does Tim Ferriss do day to day?
0:13:13 He’s like,
0:13:13 oh dude,
0:13:15 this is like the question I get a lot.
0:13:15 Like,
0:13:16 what is my daily routine?
0:13:17 And he’s like,
0:13:18 I think people expect
0:13:19 like a really awesome answer.
0:13:19 He’s like,
0:13:20 I’ve actually been asked
0:13:22 like for like a writer
0:13:22 from some magazine,
0:13:23 like,
0:13:23 hey,
0:13:24 we want to follow you for a day
0:13:25 and write a profile
0:13:25 or like we want to film
0:13:27 like a one day documentary
0:13:27 of Tim Ferriss
0:13:28 day in the life.
0:13:29 And he’s like,
0:13:30 I’ve always said no.
0:13:32 Not just because I like privacy,
0:13:33 not that he’s like,
0:13:35 but because it would be incredibly boring.
0:13:35 He’s like,
0:13:35 I,
0:13:36 he’s like,
0:13:36 you know,
0:13:37 I wake up and I,
0:13:38 I sort of,
0:13:39 I stretch,
0:13:39 I’ll drink some tea.
0:13:40 I’ll,
0:13:40 you know,
0:13:41 I sit down.
0:13:41 He’s like,
0:13:42 I kind of putter around
0:13:44 for quite a while
0:13:45 and I have like long periods
0:13:46 of time of inaction
0:13:48 where I’m just trying to think of
0:13:50 what is it that I really want to do
0:13:52 and what is it that I actually should do
0:13:53 in this situation?
0:13:54 How do I want to approach this?
0:13:55 Do I really want to do this?
0:13:57 And I actually like spend time
0:13:57 with my thoughts.
0:13:59 I remember hearing that
0:13:59 and being like,
0:13:59 oh,
0:14:01 I don’t do none of that stuff.
0:14:03 It’s like when you hear
0:14:04 like a really productive manager
0:14:05 talk about how they like
0:14:07 all the thoughtful things
0:14:08 they do to manage their employees
0:14:08 and you’re like,
0:14:08 oh,
0:14:10 I just had a pizza party
0:14:11 like a month ago.
0:14:12 I thought that was good.
0:14:12 I thought that was enough.
0:14:14 I think that you said something funny
0:14:15 about shower thoughts.
0:14:17 I don’t think a lot of people realize
0:14:19 that you can help engineer breakthroughs.
0:14:20 I think that there’s things
0:14:21 in your life that you could do
0:14:22 to,
0:14:22 yeah,
0:14:23 engineer breakthroughs
0:14:23 and I’ve been thinking about
0:14:24 what that is.
0:14:25 For me,
0:14:26 it’s been slow mornings.
0:14:28 So I try my hardest
0:14:28 to get up earlier
0:14:30 than I actually have to
0:14:30 because I like just to like
0:14:32 walk around and drink coffee
0:14:33 and then I’ll wake children up
0:14:33 or then I’ll exercise
0:14:34 but like literally
0:14:35 just 30 minutes
0:14:36 just to poke around.
0:14:38 I like working out
0:14:38 so I have breakthroughs
0:14:39 on working outs.
0:14:40 I have breakthroughs
0:14:41 when I’m journaling.
0:14:42 I have breakthroughs
0:14:42 when I’m reading
0:14:43 and I have breakthroughs
0:14:44 when I have organized times
0:14:46 of talking with people
0:14:47 but without an agenda.
0:14:49 So like I’ll like have someone
0:14:50 like interesting at my office
0:14:51 because they’re in town
0:14:51 and I’m like,
0:14:52 I don’t know, man,
0:14:53 just like let’s just riff
0:14:54 for 30 minutes.
0:14:54 What’s your story?
0:14:56 And or like what you’ve done,
0:14:57 you had a breakthrough
0:14:58 when you started the Milk Road
0:14:59 after you went to a conference
0:15:00 on a topic that had nothing
0:15:02 to do with your interest.
0:15:03 But like this is why
0:15:04 conferences are great.
0:15:04 This is why I hope
0:15:05 Hampton is great.
0:15:06 This is why sometimes people
0:15:08 like they get us a little bit
0:15:09 through listening to our podcast
0:15:09 where they like kind of feel
0:15:10 like they’re around us
0:15:12 but like talking to other people
0:15:13 and just listening to their opinion
0:15:14 without an agenda
0:15:15 I think is another great way
0:15:16 to have a breakthrough.
0:15:17 Yeah, I’ve been writing,
0:15:19 I told you I was writing this book
0:15:20 and the premise of the book
0:15:21 was I got really,
0:15:23 it happened accidentally.
0:15:24 I started,
0:15:26 it was embarrassing.
0:15:28 I was trying to be funnier
0:15:29 as therefore I started
0:15:29 studying comedy
0:15:31 which is like not really
0:15:33 what I think any funny person
0:15:33 has ever done.
0:15:35 so probably not the best way
0:15:35 to do it
0:15:37 but I got really into Seinfeld
0:15:38 and then through that
0:15:38 I was like wow
0:15:40 this guy’s not just about comedy
0:15:41 but like this guy’s got like
0:15:43 a way of working
0:15:45 that is really interesting
0:15:45 an approach,
0:15:46 a mindset
0:15:46 and a day,
0:15:47 literally like a set
0:15:48 of daily habits
0:15:50 that are pretty admirable
0:15:50 and I started studying
0:15:51 other great people.
0:15:52 How do all the great ones work?
0:15:53 How do all of them
0:15:54 actually like
0:15:55 what are the habits
0:15:56 of the great people
0:15:57 who’ve done great things?
0:15:58 Because I want to be a great person
0:15:58 who does great things.
0:16:00 Anyways, along the way
0:16:01 one of the things
0:16:02 that surprised me
0:16:03 which I think
0:16:04 when you’re researching anything
0:16:05 it’s the surprises
0:16:06 that you look for.
0:16:08 One of the things
0:16:09 that surprised me
0:16:11 was how much
0:16:12 engineered rest matters.
0:16:13 So I’ll just give you
0:16:14 like three quick ones
0:16:15 on this.
0:16:16 So Aaron Sorkin
0:16:17 who wrote West Wing
0:16:18 and The Social Network
0:16:19 like this great
0:16:20 Hollywood script writer
0:16:20 or whatever
0:16:22 when he’s writing a script
0:16:23 he takes eight showers a day
0:16:23 he says.
0:16:25 Like he will just keep showering
0:16:26 he’s like
0:16:27 because I have my best thoughts
0:16:27 in the shower.
0:16:28 There’s all this science
0:16:29 about why warm water
0:16:30 and a relaxed environment
0:16:31 and no distractions
0:16:31 why this is actually
0:16:32 like quite a good way
0:16:34 to like let your brain
0:16:35 sort of you know
0:16:36 let the muscles relax
0:16:37 a little bit
0:16:37 and how you come up
0:16:39 with more out of the box ideas.
0:16:40 It’s also just a reset
0:16:41 like every time
0:16:41 he gets stuck
0:16:42 he goes and showers
0:16:43 and he quickly gets
0:16:44 through the plateau
0:16:45 because he does that.
0:16:47 Einstein used to
0:16:47 do you know about
0:16:48 Einstein’s boat?
0:16:49 No.
0:16:50 No.
0:16:51 I wouldn’t have
0:16:52 paid Einstein as a boater.
0:16:54 He was a prolific boater
0:16:54 to the point
0:16:55 where the Coast Guard
0:16:56 had a lot of problems
0:16:57 with Einstein
0:16:58 so what Einstein would do
0:16:59 was in the middle of the day
0:16:59 Einstein would basically
0:17:00 get on like a tiny little boat
0:17:02 and he would just float.
0:17:04 It was a no motor boat.
0:17:05 He would just like float away
0:17:08 into the sea
0:17:09 and he would stay there
0:17:10 for hours
0:17:11 and he would stay there
0:17:11 because he’s like
0:17:12 I do my best thinking
0:17:14 out here in the sea
0:17:15 and I would
0:17:16 and he would do it aimlessly
0:17:17 in the afternoons
0:17:18 and the Coast Guard
0:17:19 was really worried
0:17:19 because they’re like
0:17:20 dude you don’t have a motor
0:17:22 attached to your boat.
0:17:22 How are you going to get back
0:17:24 if the tide like pulls you too far?
0:17:25 and he’s like
0:17:26 the further the better
0:17:27 was basically like his quote
0:17:29 around what he wanted to do
0:17:30 and that’s where he did
0:17:31 most of his quality thinking.
0:17:32 I was telling my wife this
0:17:33 and she goes
0:17:33 oh yeah at work
0:17:35 we had this lady come in
0:17:35 this neuroscientist
0:17:36 and she told us
0:17:37 you do your best thinking
0:17:39 in motion or in water.
0:17:40 This is why so many people walk
0:17:41 and why they swim.
0:17:42 Pavel Durov was on Lex Friedman
0:17:43 and talks about how he goes
0:17:44 for four hour swims
0:17:45 because he does his best thinking
0:17:46 when he’s swimming
0:17:47 and that’s one of his routines
0:17:48 like it’s great
0:17:48 I get fitness
0:17:49 and I get thinking
0:17:50 at the same time.
0:17:51 He’s like guess what
0:17:52 you can’t be on your phone
0:17:52 when you’re in the middle
0:17:53 of a lake for four hours
0:17:54 like you know
0:17:55 you’re just you’re out there.
0:17:56 Another one Darwin
0:17:58 Darwin used to go for these walks
0:17:59 and whenever he was noodling
0:18:00 on a problem
0:18:01 oh I got a problem
0:18:02 go for a walk
0:18:03 which is I think
0:18:04 not really how most people
0:18:05 in today’s age
0:18:06 solve their problems.
0:18:07 I think they stare
0:18:07 at their screen
0:18:08 and like sit there
0:18:10 and kind of just sit
0:18:11 in a stationary position
0:18:12 trying to like get through it
0:18:13 and you produce
0:18:14 pretty low quality ideas
0:18:14 when you do that
0:18:15 but what Darwin would do
0:18:16 is he would get up
0:18:17 he would go for a walk
0:18:18 and he used to walk these laps
0:18:19 and every lap
0:18:20 he would like kick a stone
0:18:22 at the same spot
0:18:23 he would like knock one stone
0:18:25 off where his starting point was
0:18:27 and he would talk about his problems
0:18:29 as like four stone problems
0:18:30 five stone problems
0:18:31 like he could measure
0:18:32 the difficulty of the problem
0:18:34 by how many stones it took
0:18:35 how many laps it took
0:18:36 of him walking
0:18:37 before he felt like
0:18:38 he had like kind of like
0:18:39 made headway on the problem
0:18:41 and so this idea
0:18:42 of engineered rest
0:18:44 which looks incredibly unproductive
0:18:45 when you’re doing it
0:18:45 right
0:18:46 like taking a nap
0:18:47 you know so many
0:18:48 so many of the great inventors
0:18:48 and artists
0:18:49 did these like quick
0:18:51 mini 20 minute naps
0:18:52 there’s all this science
0:18:53 behind why that works
0:18:54 and so you know
0:18:55 these mini naps
0:18:57 or going for walks
0:18:58 or going for a swim
0:18:59 it literally looks like
0:19:00 you’re not working
0:19:01 it looks like you’re being
0:19:01 a lazy bastard
0:19:03 but like if you look at
0:19:03 how the great ones
0:19:04 actually work
0:19:05 this is part of their
0:19:07 productivity routine
0:19:07 and it looks
0:19:08 completely unproductive
0:19:10 six or twelve months ago
0:19:11 you were debating on
0:19:13 like a big project
0:19:13 you’re like
0:19:14 I’m being pulled
0:19:15 in a variety of directions
0:19:16 and I can’t decide
0:19:16 what I want to do
0:19:17 but my heart
0:19:18 is telling me
0:19:19 to do something creative
0:19:20 almost like a play
0:19:20 and I was like
0:19:22 oh that sounds pretty badass
0:19:23 that sounds amazing
0:19:24 and it sounds like
0:19:25 I don’t think
0:19:26 a book on creativity
0:19:27 was even on the list
0:19:27 but that actually
0:19:28 sounds even more badass
0:19:28 than all these
0:19:29 because you’re describing this
0:19:30 and I’m like
0:19:30 I want this book
0:19:31 I need this
0:19:32 not only do I want this
0:19:32 I’m like
0:19:33 I have problems
0:19:34 I should go for
0:19:36 a three stone walk
0:19:37 and like give me more
0:19:37 tips and tricks
0:19:38 on how to solve
0:19:39 my problems
0:19:40 and how I can think better
0:19:41 tell me about the book
0:19:43 so how many pages
0:19:43 like
0:19:44 is this going to be
0:19:45 like a two
0:19:45 and three
0:19:47 or four hundred page book
0:19:48 or is this like
0:19:48 no
0:19:49 so the premise
0:19:50 of what I’m doing
0:19:51 I guess this will be
0:19:53 my announcement
0:19:54 no
0:19:56 we’ll do a whole podcast
0:19:56 dedicated to the announcement
0:19:57 no no
0:19:57 but I guess
0:19:58 what I mean
0:19:58 is I can just go ahead
0:19:59 and share
0:19:59 so what I’m doing
0:20:00 is
0:20:01 I’ve created this
0:20:03 like a franchise
0:20:04 like a series
0:20:05 and you know
0:20:06 I have this problem
0:20:06 with books
0:20:07 where I buy
0:20:08 a ton of books
0:20:09 and I want to read
0:20:10 a ton of books
0:20:11 and I don’t really
0:20:11 read a ton of books
0:20:12 and if you kind of like
0:20:13 one of the reasons why
0:20:15 books are long and slow
0:20:17 and books are long and slow
0:20:17 not because
0:20:19 a three hundred page book
0:20:20 needed to be three hundred pages
0:20:21 it’s really a relic
0:20:22 of the publishing industry
0:20:23 so like
0:20:24 if you go talk to publishers
0:20:25 and I’ve done this
0:20:26 and you want to publish
0:20:27 a thinner book
0:20:27 they’re like
0:20:28 ooh
0:20:29 but it’s not going to sell as well
0:20:30 and they’re like
0:20:31 because people
0:20:32 when they want to spend
0:20:33 whatever fifteen bucks
0:20:34 they need to feel
0:20:35 like they’re getting value
0:20:36 like they literally need to
0:20:37 hold a heavier object
0:20:38 and that was why
0:20:39 whatever your
0:20:40 whatever the size
0:20:41 of your idea was
0:20:42 guess what
0:20:43 we need 250 pages
0:20:43 right
0:20:45 because we want to sell this book
0:20:46 and it needs to have
0:20:47 this sort of weight to it
0:20:48 and I actually understand that
0:20:49 I think there’s like
0:20:50 a cool physical component of that
0:20:51 but also
0:20:53 how many books have you read
0:20:53 where you’re like
0:20:54 that could have been a blog post
0:20:55 you know
0:20:56 it’s like how many meetings
0:20:56 could have been an email
0:20:58 like there’s a lot of books
0:20:59 that actually are not
0:21:00 they’re you know
0:21:01 a couple of great ideas
0:21:01 and then there’s like
0:21:02 200 pages of fluff
0:21:03 and you’re like
0:21:03 okay I got it
0:21:04 I get it
0:21:05 so it’s one of my
0:21:06 biggest pet peeves
0:21:07 and when I studied
0:21:08 this
0:21:10 how the great creatives work
0:21:10 one of the things
0:21:11 they do really well
0:21:12 is they pay a lot of attention
0:21:13 to their irritation
0:21:15 Seinfeld said
0:21:16 irritation is what breeds
0:21:16 innovation
0:21:17 so he said
0:21:18 he used to hate
0:21:19 he used to get invited
0:21:20 to go on late night talk shows
0:21:21 like Jimmy Fallon
0:21:21 or whatever
0:21:22 he’s like dude
0:21:22 I hate it
0:21:23 it was so formulaic
0:21:24 it was so cookie cutter
0:21:25 it was so like
0:21:26 the same thing
0:21:28 so that’s why he created
0:21:29 comedians in cars
0:21:29 getting coffee
0:21:30 right
0:21:30 it was like
0:21:31 what’s the exact opposite
0:21:32 of that talk show
0:21:32 it’s like
0:21:33 me and my friend
0:21:34 in a car
0:21:35 drive and go get coffee
0:21:37 like no audience
0:21:38 no applause sign
0:21:39 no any of that stuff
0:21:40 like my
0:21:41 I’ll take all my
0:21:42 irritations of this
0:21:43 and I’m just going to
0:21:43 do the opposite
0:21:44 and then that’s what
0:21:44 I’m going to
0:21:45 I’m going to use that
0:21:46 as the like
0:21:47 the force
0:21:47 and the energy
0:21:48 to create something better
0:21:49 and so
0:21:50 I decided to create
0:21:51 this series called
0:21:51 One Hour Books
0:21:52 and the idea is
0:21:53 can I create books
0:21:54 that are you know
0:21:55 if you read it
0:21:55 it’s a life-changing book
0:21:56 but you can read it
0:21:56 in one hour
0:21:57 a single sitting
0:21:58 so like
0:21:59 if you buy the book
0:22:00 and you decide to read it
0:22:01 in one sitting on a couch
0:22:02 you’ll actually like
0:22:03 consume the whole book
0:22:04 and you’ll get everything
0:22:05 you needed out of the book
0:22:07 whatever the book’s promise was
0:22:08 and so I’m creating
0:22:09 this series called
0:22:09 One Hour Books
0:22:10 and I’m doing it
0:22:10 on different topics
0:22:11 that I’ve been
0:22:12 any topic that I’ve
0:22:13 gotten obsessed with
0:22:14 and so you know like
0:22:16 if I have a period of time
0:22:17 where I’m really obsessed
0:22:17 about value investing
0:22:18 or you know
0:22:19 Warren Buffett
0:22:21 how these great investors think
0:22:22 I want to basically take
0:22:24 the most powerful ideas
0:22:25 the best ideas
0:22:25 that I got
0:22:26 in my research
0:22:27 the things that surprised me
0:22:28 that I actually like
0:22:28 then started to use
0:22:29 in my life
0:22:30 and so like
0:22:30 for example
0:22:31 with this creativity book
0:22:32 like it changed
0:22:33 the way I’m approaching
0:22:33 being a creator
0:22:34 right
0:22:34 like I’m trying
0:22:35 I work completely differently
0:22:37 than I did 12 months ago
0:22:38 and it’s because
0:22:39 I basically stole shit
0:22:40 from Seinfeld
0:22:41 and Disney
0:22:42 and Rubin
0:22:42 and Pixar
0:22:43 like all these people
0:22:44 that I went
0:22:45 and studied
0:22:45 and actually tried
0:22:46 to figure out
0:22:46 you know
0:22:47 a better way to work
0:22:48 and so
0:22:49 yeah the book’s only
0:22:50 going to be like
0:22:50 I don’t know
0:22:51 75 pages
0:22:52 it’s going to be
0:22:53 enough for you
0:22:53 it’s going to be
0:22:54 the size of a book
0:22:55 you can read
0:22:55 in one sitting
0:22:56 actually if anybody
0:22:57 from the podcast
0:22:58 wants to check out
0:22:59 the book early
0:22:59 and kind of gets
0:23:00 the behind the scenes
0:23:01 thing
0:23:02 just go to
0:23:03 onehourbooks.co
0:23:04 I’ll put it on the screen
0:23:05 and in the description
0:23:06 but if you go to
0:23:07 onehourbooks.co
0:23:07 I’m just going to
0:23:09 let anybody sign up
0:23:10 and if you’re a fan
0:23:10 of the pod
0:23:11 I kind of want to show you
0:23:12 how I’m making the book
0:23:14 the behind the scenes stuff
0:23:14 and give you a free gift
0:23:15 when it launches
0:23:16 so go there
0:23:17 if you want to
0:23:17 check that out
0:23:19 and are you going to
0:23:19 go through a publisher
0:23:20 or self-publish
0:23:21 I don’t know yet
0:23:22 it doesn’t really matter
0:23:23 all that matters right now
0:23:24 is make one amazing book
0:23:25 I can’t really like
0:23:26 anything else
0:23:26 doesn’t really matter
0:23:27 it’s like
0:23:28 one book that I am like
0:23:29 oh man if I read this
0:23:31 this would go in my
0:23:32 like kind of top shelf
0:23:32 this would be like
0:23:33 one of my favorite books
0:23:34 because it actually like
0:23:34 you know
0:23:35 resonated with me
0:23:36 and the stories
0:23:36 were really dope
0:23:38 made me laugh
0:23:38 you know that’s
0:23:39 those are some of the goals
0:23:40 with how I do this
0:23:41 if I had to bet
0:23:42 this is going to be
0:23:42 the most successful thing
0:23:43 you’ve ever done
0:23:45 because my instinct
0:23:45 and I don’t want to
0:23:46 do this right now
0:23:47 but is to like
0:23:48 oh can you just tell me
0:23:49 all of the things
0:23:50 that you learned
0:23:50 from Rick Rubin
0:23:51 all these people
0:23:52 it’s like I want
0:23:53 to apply this immediately
0:23:54 yeah yeah
0:23:56 I mean I could
0:23:57 and I will tell you
0:23:57 all those things
0:23:58 but yeah I think
0:23:58 it’s going to be great
0:23:59 like I honestly
0:24:00 like the way
0:24:01 I have this really
0:24:01 I try to
0:24:02 when I do a project
0:24:04 I try to find
0:24:05 like a kind of
0:24:06 three word
0:24:07 almost like
0:24:08 North Star
0:24:09 or campaign slogan
0:24:10 for myself
0:24:11 just like
0:24:12 as I wander
0:24:12 through the idea
0:24:13 and you start to go
0:24:14 down different little
0:24:15 rabbit holes
0:24:15 and you hit
0:24:16 little bumps
0:24:16 and bruises
0:24:17 you sort of need
0:24:18 something to come back to
0:24:20 and mine for this
0:24:21 is create
0:24:21 create the TED
0:24:22 for books
0:24:23 so like
0:24:24 TED today
0:24:24 is not as cool
0:24:25 as it was
0:24:26 but when I was
0:24:26 younger
0:24:28 TED was the shit
0:24:29 like TED talks
0:24:30 TED videos
0:24:31 like those were amazing
0:24:32 and what they did
0:24:33 I thought was great
0:24:34 going to a TED event
0:24:34 was like
0:24:36 like I just imagined
0:24:36 myself like
0:24:37 I’m going to be
0:24:37 hobnobbing
0:24:38 with like the
0:24:39 president of America
0:24:39 I’m going to be
0:24:40 like Bill Gates
0:24:41 like it was like
0:24:42 an honor
0:24:43 and what they did
0:24:43 was they created
0:24:44 a format
0:24:44 so they were like
0:24:44 yo here’s what
0:24:45 we’re going to do
0:24:46 18 minute talks
0:24:48 that are on this
0:24:49 kind of beautiful stage
0:24:50 and it’s going to be
0:24:51 a certain quality
0:24:51 of person
0:24:52 who comes at you
0:24:53 with one big idea
0:24:54 one kind of like
0:24:55 either counterintuitive
0:24:56 idea or one powerful idea
0:24:57 and then the mission
0:24:58 was ideas worth sharing
0:24:58 right
0:24:59 and like
0:25:01 I actually fuck with that
0:25:01 I think that’s actually
0:25:02 like incredible
0:25:03 and although TED
0:25:03 has kind of fallen off
0:25:05 it did help me
0:25:06 because as I’m doing this
0:25:06 I’m like all right
0:25:07 well I’m trying to find
0:25:08 the best ideas worth sharing
0:25:09 and I want to create
0:25:10 a format that’s consistent
0:25:11 and like a proposition
0:25:12 I’m going to spend
0:25:14 literally 10,000 hours
0:25:15 researching this
0:25:16 and I’m going to give you
0:25:17 all of the best stories
0:25:18 and ideas
0:25:18 structured together
0:25:19 in a one hour book
0:25:21 like 10,000 hours
0:25:21 of my time
0:25:22 for one hour
0:25:23 of your time
0:25:23 is like just
0:25:24 an incredible trade
0:25:24 that I think
0:25:25 anybody should make
0:25:27 because I’m like
0:25:27 going all in on this
0:25:28 and so I’ve been working
0:25:29 on this for like a year now
0:25:31 and it’s tough man
0:25:32 it’s a hard thing to do
0:25:33 but I think it’s coming out
0:25:33 pretty good
0:25:34 what makes
0:25:36 so I always hear
0:25:36 people say
0:25:37 writing a book is hard
0:25:39 Tim Ferriss was like
0:25:39 I don’t wish it
0:25:40 on my worst enemy
0:25:40 and I’m like
0:25:41 really
0:25:41 I mean
0:25:42 I’ve never done it
0:25:43 but I’m like
0:25:44 this sounds pretty great
0:25:45 you just spent all this time
0:25:46 thinking and writing
0:25:47 and you get like
0:25:48 two years to do it
0:25:49 that sounds lovely
0:25:50 but what are the downsides
0:25:51 well
0:25:52 I mean there’s a ton
0:25:53 of downsides
0:25:54 you don’t do this
0:25:55 if you’re looking
0:25:56 for anything quick
0:25:57 you don’t do this
0:25:57 if you’re looking
0:25:59 for a high chance
0:25:59 of success
0:26:01 so like the two things
0:26:02 I think most people want
0:26:03 it’s like a high chance
0:26:03 of success
0:26:06 and for it to happen fast
0:26:08 I mean books are
0:26:08 you know
0:26:09 they go the exact
0:26:10 opposite way
0:26:11 it’s typically
0:26:13 a one to two year process
0:26:15 sometimes five
0:26:15 you know
0:26:16 George R.R. Martin
0:26:16 sitting there
0:26:17 still trying to write a book
0:26:18 for like 13 years
0:26:20 so you know
0:26:21 these books are
0:26:22 they take a long time
0:26:24 very low odds of success
0:26:25 and even when they do succeed
0:26:26 it’s nothing compared to
0:26:27 like if I went
0:26:27 and built a company
0:26:28 or like
0:26:29 in my portfolio right now
0:26:30 there’s things that are
0:26:30 far more
0:26:31 far easier
0:26:32 far more valuable
0:26:32 to do
0:26:32 podcasts
0:26:33 far easier
0:26:34 far more valuable
0:26:34 to do
0:26:35 than to write a book
0:26:36 you don’t write the book
0:26:36 for other people
0:26:37 you write the book
0:26:37 for yourself
0:26:38 I think is the only way
0:26:38 to do it
0:26:39 and I think
0:26:40 one of the great things
0:26:40 that happen
0:26:41 when I talk to some people
0:26:42 who you know
0:26:43 talk to people for advice
0:26:45 is they go look
0:26:46 a hundred people come to me
0:26:46 because oh you wrote
0:26:47 a bestseller
0:26:48 people want to ask you
0:26:48 about a book
0:26:49 and they say
0:26:50 everybody wants to
0:26:51 have written a book
0:26:52 nobody wants to write a book
0:26:54 and so the very first thing
0:26:54 is you got to figure out
0:26:55 like do you want to
0:26:56 have written a book
0:26:57 or do you want to
0:26:57 write a book
0:26:59 that’s why I chose
0:26:59 a subject
0:27:00 that basically
0:27:01 is like currently
0:27:02 fascinating to me
0:27:03 and applies to my
0:27:04 I get to be the lab rat
0:27:05 of doing the things
0:27:06 that are in the book
0:27:07 like using the actual
0:27:08 principles
0:27:09 because it’s like
0:27:09 what I needed
0:27:10 it’s the book I needed
0:27:11 right now
0:27:12 even though it’s probably
0:27:12 not the thing
0:27:13 I know the most about
0:27:14 or it’s the most relevant
0:27:15 or the most marketable
0:27:16 or any of those other
0:27:17 possible factors
0:27:19 this is badass
0:27:20 this is so exciting
0:27:20 and it feels
0:27:21 I don’t think you
0:27:22 I’ve heard you light up
0:27:23 about a project
0:27:23 for a while
0:27:24 well I was
0:27:25 I was looking for a challenge
0:27:26 you know that
0:27:27 I was looking for a challenge
0:27:28 I was looking for something
0:27:28 that’s new
0:27:29 that’s something that’s hard
0:27:29 for me
0:27:31 this is like the opposite
0:27:31 of my
0:27:32 I’m an improv guy
0:27:32 I’m a quick guy
0:27:33 I’m an unscheduled guy
0:27:35 I’m like that’s what I’ve known
0:27:35 and that’s what I’ve done
0:27:36 well with
0:27:37 so this is like very different
0:27:38 it requires consistency
0:27:39 requires sitting down
0:27:40 every single day
0:27:41 and like don’t miss a day
0:27:43 type of mentality
0:27:44 which is good
0:27:45 it’s also what I needed
0:27:45 to get in shape
0:27:46 it’s also what I needed
0:27:47 to do to learn the piano
0:27:48 like all the things
0:27:49 I’m trying to do right now
0:27:50 they all require
0:27:51 the same set of muscles
0:27:51 internally
0:27:52 to go and actually
0:27:53 succeed in them
0:27:55 also the other thing
0:27:55 that’s hard about it
0:27:58 is when you do things
0:27:59 that are like
0:28:00 I’m going to make
0:28:00 a hundred of these
0:28:01 any one doesn’t matter
0:28:02 but with a book
0:28:03 you’re like I’m going to make
0:28:03 one I’m going to make
0:28:04 this one book
0:28:05 and it’s going to be
0:28:05 what it’s going to be
0:28:07 the level of internal pressure
0:28:08 you put on yourself
0:28:09 to make it great
0:28:09 and to be like
0:28:10 no no I got to get this right
0:28:11 I don’t get to
0:28:12 it’s not like
0:28:13 oh I’ll just get started
0:28:14 and then we’ll iterate
0:28:14 from there
0:28:16 doesn’t really work that way
0:28:17 you want to put
0:28:17 one great thing out
0:28:18 there’s a craftsman
0:28:19 like nature to that
0:28:21 and there’s something
0:28:22 cool about that constraint
0:28:23 that you’re only going
0:28:23 to make
0:28:24 that you’re only going
0:28:25 to really write
0:28:26 this thing once
0:28:28 so you better do it
0:28:29 the best you possibly could
0:28:30 because it’s not
0:28:30 something where
0:28:31 you’re going to get
0:28:32 a hundred shots on goal
0:28:33 at the same idea
0:28:34 I could never do this
0:28:34 I could never do this
0:28:35 or maybe I would
0:28:35 one day
0:28:36 but like
0:28:37 the best books
0:28:38 that I read
0:28:39 like I think Ron Chernow
0:28:39 is one of my favorite
0:28:40 authors
0:28:41 he wrote Titan
0:28:42 which is the story
0:28:42 of John Rockefeller
0:28:44 he wrote Hamilton
0:28:45 which became Hamilton
0:28:46 and he’s written
0:28:47 one of Mark Twain
0:28:48 and a couple others
0:28:48 and it’s
0:28:50 these biographies
0:28:51 he’s a biographist
0:28:52 same with Robert Greene
0:28:53 if you ever read
0:28:53 Robert Greene
0:28:55 it’s like every sentence
0:28:56 is packed
0:28:57 with like
0:28:58 every sentence
0:28:59 is very purposeful
0:29:01 and it’s not even
0:29:01 the
0:29:02 it’s
0:29:03 and all those
0:29:04 those two authors
0:29:05 they’re not particularly
0:29:06 easy to read
0:29:07 but every sentence
0:29:08 is full of stuff
0:29:09 and it’s like
0:29:10 a thousand
0:29:11 or eight hundred pages
0:29:12 and I’m just like
0:29:12 in awe
0:29:13 it’s sort of like
0:29:14 when you go to Yosemite
0:29:15 for the first time
0:29:15 and you see like
0:29:16 Half Dome
0:29:16 and you’re like
0:29:17 I can’t believe
0:29:18 that something
0:29:19 is this big
0:29:19 and beautiful
0:29:20 and I don’t even
0:29:20 like the outdoors
0:29:22 and when I read
0:29:23 like every once in a while
0:29:24 I’ve read a book
0:29:24 where I’m like
0:29:25 this is like
0:29:26 a religious experience
0:29:27 not necessarily
0:29:28 because of
0:29:28 the content
0:29:29 but because of
0:29:29 how much effort
0:29:30 this person put into it
0:29:31 and it’s just
0:29:32 it’s a marvel
0:29:33 when I think about
0:29:33 Harry Potter
0:29:34 I’m like
0:29:35 how on earth
0:29:36 did this one lady
0:29:37 invent this world
0:29:38 she literally
0:29:39 invented a language
0:29:39 and I don’t even
0:29:40 like Harry Potter
0:29:40 but I’m like
0:29:41 in awe of this
0:29:42 that’s another example
0:29:44 of you get your best ideas
0:29:44 in motion or in water
0:29:46 the idea for Harry Potter
0:29:47 sort of drops into her head
0:29:48 when she’s on a train ride
0:29:50 and she’s like
0:29:50 in motion
0:29:51 and sitting there
0:29:52 and idle
0:29:53 and doesn’t have
0:29:53 internet access
0:29:54 and can’t do
0:29:55 ten other things
0:29:55 there’s nothing else
0:29:56 you could do
0:29:56 when you sit on a train
0:29:57 except for think
0:29:58 and that’s when
0:29:59 your brain is open
0:30:00 for you know
0:30:01 creative inspiration
0:30:02 do you think that
0:30:03 doing deep work
0:30:04 is harder today
0:30:05 than it was
0:30:05 before the internet
0:30:06 because when you’re
0:30:07 talking about
0:30:07 writing a book
0:30:08 I’m like
0:30:09 I struggle to get
0:30:10 people to quit
0:30:11 messaging me
0:30:11 and I like
0:30:12 and I’m absolutely
0:30:13 addicted to my
0:30:13 notifications
0:30:15 like I can’t have
0:30:16 an unread text message
0:30:16 but then I have
0:30:17 text, slack, twitter,
0:30:19 instagram, linkedin, email
0:30:20 well let me give you
0:30:20 let me give you
0:30:22 one of the quotes
0:30:22 I think this is going
0:30:23 to be in one of the
0:30:24 first few pages
0:30:25 of the book
0:30:26 so Shonda Rhimes
0:30:27 who is you know
0:30:29 a prolific creator
0:30:30 right so she’s you know
0:30:32 Netflix gave her
0:30:32 100 million dollars
0:30:33 not for stuff
0:30:34 she’s already made
0:30:35 but just to make
0:30:35 new things
0:30:36 like you’re getting
0:30:37 paid 100 million dollars
0:30:38 for your reputation
0:30:39 your ability
0:30:40 to create great
0:30:40 great stuff
0:30:41 in the future
0:30:42 and so you know
0:30:42 she created
0:30:43 Bridgerton
0:30:44 and Grey’s Anatomy
0:30:44 and a bunch
0:30:45 of other hit shows
0:30:46 she lived in my
0:30:46 little town
0:30:47 at Westport
0:30:48 really well
0:30:49 she was talking
0:30:50 about her process
0:30:51 she was like
0:30:51 okay like you know
0:30:52 they’re like
0:30:52 how does your
0:30:53 creative process
0:30:53 work how do you
0:30:54 work again
0:30:54 the same idea
0:30:55 how do the
0:30:55 great ones
0:30:56 actually work
0:30:58 and here’s what
0:30:58 here’s how she
0:30:59 described like
0:31:00 her morning
0:31:01 and so she goes
0:31:03 imagine a door
0:31:04 five miles away
0:31:06 and those five miles
0:31:07 to go the five miles
0:31:08 that’s you writing
0:31:09 crap and doodling
0:31:10 and just trying
0:31:11 to have an idea
0:31:12 and then you
0:31:13 sometimes are surfing
0:31:13 the internet
0:31:14 and you’re hoping
0:31:14 like hell
0:31:14 you’re not going
0:31:15 to get so distracted
0:31:16 that you give up
0:31:16 and worse
0:31:17 those five miles
0:31:18 that you’ve got
0:31:18 to run
0:31:19 they’re lined
0:31:20 with cupcakes
0:31:21 and episodes
0:31:22 of Game of Thrones
0:31:22 and Idris Elba
0:31:23 wants to talk to you
0:31:24 and there’s really
0:31:24 great books
0:31:25 you could go read
0:31:26 and every time
0:31:26 I sit down to write
0:31:27 I mentally have to
0:31:28 run those five miles
0:31:29 past all that shit
0:31:31 to get to the door
0:31:32 it’s a long
0:31:33 hard five mile run
0:31:34 and sometimes
0:31:34 I’m almost dead
0:31:35 by the time
0:31:35 I get to the door
0:31:36 and that’s why
0:31:37 I keep doing it
0:31:38 because the more
0:31:38 often I run
0:31:39 the five miles
0:31:40 the fitter I become
0:31:40 and the fitter I become
0:31:41 the easier it is to run
0:31:42 and the less fresh
0:31:43 and exciting
0:31:43 all that stuff
0:31:44 on the side of the road
0:31:45 starts to seem
0:31:46 I mean how long
0:31:46 have those brownies
0:31:47 even been sitting there
0:31:48 and more importantly
0:31:48 the fitter I run
0:31:49 the faster I run
0:31:50 the faster I run
0:31:50 I get to the door
0:31:51 and behind the door
0:31:53 is where all the good shit is
0:31:54 that’s where the great ideas lie
0:31:56 is behind the door
0:31:57 that gives me goosebumps
0:31:58 I know right
0:31:59 and so like when I sit down
0:32:00 every day
0:32:00 so every day I wake up
0:32:01 and I spend two hours
0:32:03 I call it eating shit
0:32:04 for breakfast
0:32:04 it’s like
0:32:05 you’re gonna make something
0:32:06 that probably sucks today
0:32:07 but you’re gonna sit down
0:32:08 and you’re gonna make it
0:32:08 you’re gonna do your
0:32:09 five mile run
0:32:09 you’re gonna go
0:32:10 and you’re gonna
0:32:11 ignore the distractions
0:32:11 of the world
0:32:13 you’re gonna do deep work
0:32:14 on the one thing
0:32:15 that matters
0:32:16 the main project
0:32:17 you’re Mount Everest
0:32:17 in your mind
0:32:18 that you’re trying to create
0:32:20 and all it takes
0:32:21 is two hours
0:32:21 first thing in the morning
0:32:22 without any other distraction
0:32:24 so I’m focused on doing that
0:32:25 and this idea that like
0:32:27 at the beginning
0:32:28 when you sit down
0:32:29 and you start to do the thing
0:32:30 your initial work
0:32:31 kind of sucks
0:32:32 your the first few sentences
0:32:33 you write suck
0:32:34 your first few ideas
0:32:35 for that marketing campaign
0:32:35 kind of suck
0:32:37 it’s all gonna kind of suck
0:32:39 you just have to keep going
0:32:39 to get to the door
0:32:40 behind the doors
0:32:41 where the good stuff is
0:32:41 and like
0:32:43 if you have that mentality
0:32:44 what ends up happening
0:32:46 is you push past
0:32:46 where the sort of
0:32:47 the amateur will give up
0:32:49 the amateur will sit down
0:32:51 and you know
0:32:52 they’ll start to do something
0:32:53 and it kind of sucks
0:32:55 and then they’ll seek
0:32:56 a reason to stop
0:32:56 whether it’s a distraction
0:32:58 or it’s talking themselves
0:32:58 out of it
0:32:59 or it’s settling
0:33:00 one of many things
0:33:01 you could do
0:33:02 and you know
0:33:04 what I thought was different
0:33:04 about the pros
0:33:05 versus the amateurs
0:33:06 the pros just have
0:33:06 better talent
0:33:06 you know
0:33:07 when they sit down
0:33:08 they make good shit
0:33:09 when I sit down
0:33:10 I make bad shit
0:33:10 it’s like no no no
0:33:12 actually the difference is
0:33:13 when the pro sits down
0:33:14 they make the same type
0:33:14 of bad shit you do
0:33:15 they just keep going
0:33:16 and they go
0:33:17 they go through
0:33:17 the five miles
0:33:18 and get to the door
0:33:19 yeah they sit down more
0:33:20 and they stick with it
0:33:21 they’re able to face
0:33:22 their own mediocrity
0:33:23 and tolerate it
0:33:24 much longer than you can
0:33:26 Paul Graham’s got this
0:33:26 amazing article
0:33:27 on procrastination
0:33:28 that kind of changed my life
0:33:30 and so according to Paul Graham
0:33:31 who’s the founder of YC
0:33:32 one of the most successful
0:33:33 business incubators
0:33:33 of all time
0:33:34 maybe the most successful
0:33:35 he said there’s three types
0:33:36 of procrastination
0:33:37 the first type of procrastination
0:33:38 is you just don’t do
0:33:39 the thing that you’re supposed
0:33:39 to do
0:33:40 which is like the most common
0:33:42 the second type of procrastination
0:33:43 is incredibly common
0:33:44 amongst ambitious people
0:33:45 which is they say to themselves
0:33:46 I’m researching
0:33:48 or I’m writing a to-do list
0:33:50 or I’m doing these things
0:33:51 that are
0:33:53 have professional sounding words
0:33:53 but in reality
0:33:54 it’s procrastination
0:33:55 you know
0:33:56 it’s completely worthless
0:33:57 and then the third type
0:33:58 of procrastination
0:33:59 that’s the best type
0:34:00 of procrastination
0:34:01 that’s a good type
0:34:02 of procrastination
0:34:02 and he goes
0:34:03 I’ll explain what it is
0:34:03 but first
0:34:05 everyone has this idea
0:34:06 of like the forgetful scientist
0:34:07 the Albert Einstein
0:34:08 who has two socks
0:34:09 that are like different colors
0:34:11 or he hasn’t showered
0:34:12 and he looks kind of dirty
0:34:13 that type of procrastination
0:34:14 that’s actually
0:34:16 the good type of procrastination
0:34:16 because if you do
0:34:17 your life’s task
0:34:18 if you do the work
0:34:18 that you’re supposed
0:34:18 to be doing
0:34:20 that means you have
0:34:21 to ignore other things
0:34:22 and sometimes that means
0:34:23 you have to ignore things
0:34:24 that the world thinks
0:34:24 is really important
0:34:26 like having two socks
0:34:26 that matches
0:34:28 and like thinking like
0:34:28 oh I have to do laundry
0:34:29 so I can look a certain way
0:34:29 he goes
0:34:30 but the reason
0:34:31 people would make fun
0:34:32 of like Bill Gates
0:34:32 or Mark Zuckerberg
0:34:33 when they were young
0:34:33 because they would wear
0:34:34 hoodies all the time
0:34:35 and wear pajama bottoms
0:34:35 all the time
0:34:35 and be like
0:34:36 well why aren’t you
0:34:36 wearing a suit
0:34:37 why aren’t your clothes nicer
0:34:38 and they didn’t have
0:34:39 a good answer at the time
0:34:40 but the reality was
0:34:41 is that they were focused
0:34:42 on their life’s work
0:34:42 they weren’t focused
0:34:43 on how to look good
0:34:44 how to appease other people
0:34:45 but they were actually
0:34:46 doing the best type
0:34:47 of procrastination
0:34:48 and that’s what it requires
0:34:48 to be great
0:34:49 is you have to do that
0:34:50 you have to avoid
0:34:50 the first two types
0:34:51 and you have to focus
0:34:52 on the third type
0:34:52 of procrastination
0:34:53 and that’s going to be
0:34:54 annoying to a lot of people
0:34:55 it’s going to piss off
0:34:55 a lot of people
0:34:56 but that’s the way
0:34:56 you do your life’s work
0:34:58 I love that
0:34:58 I mean this type of stuff
0:34:59 just fires me up
0:35:01 so that’s great
0:35:02 I love that
0:35:03 it’s great man
0:35:04 like when I read that
0:35:05 I was like so good
0:35:05 I was like
0:35:06 you just might have
0:35:06 got yourself quoted
0:35:07 in the book my friend
0:35:08 yeah I was like hey
0:35:10 if you actually google
0:35:11 Sam Parr procrastination
0:35:12 I wrote an article
0:35:12 about it
0:35:13 but I was like
0:35:14 to my wife
0:35:14 I was like
0:35:15 yes Sarah
0:35:17 like get off my back
0:35:18 doing my life’s work
0:35:18 over here
0:35:19 she’s like you’re on Twitter
0:35:22 repeat after me Sarah
0:35:23 life’s work
0:35:25 not take trash out
0:35:27 it didn’t land
0:35:31 I just printed off
0:35:31 this article
0:35:32 I slid it her way
0:35:32 during dinner
0:35:33 and I’m like
0:35:34 read that
0:35:35 that’s amazing
0:35:37 today’s episode
0:35:38 is brought to you
0:35:38 by HubSpot
0:35:40 because using only
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0:35:41 data is like dating
0:35:42 somebody who only
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0:35:44 first of all
0:35:44 that’s annoying
0:35:45 and second
0:35:45 you’re missing
0:35:46 a lot of the context
0:35:47 but that’s how
0:35:47 most businesses
0:35:48 are operating today
0:35:49 they’re only using
0:35:50 20% of their data
0:35:51 unless you use HubSpot
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0:36:01 I do want to share
0:36:02 a thing that
0:36:03 I think you’ll appreciate
0:36:04 I didn’t plan to share
0:36:05 this but I think
0:36:06 you’ll appreciate it
0:36:06 so I’ll say it
0:36:07 so as you know
0:36:08 my grandfather died
0:36:09 he’s 98 years old
0:36:11 was he in America?
0:36:12 in America
0:36:13 he lived in DC
0:36:14 and so I flew to DC
0:36:15 and we go to the funeral
0:36:16 and you know
0:36:16 funerals are
0:36:18 they are what they are
0:36:18 they’re sad
0:36:19 but you know
0:36:19 I think
0:36:21 98 years old
0:36:21 he had a great life
0:36:22 he was healthy
0:36:23 for almost all
0:36:24 almost to the very end
0:36:26 are Indian funerals
0:36:27 like traditional
0:36:28 American funerals
0:36:28 or do you guys
0:36:29 like ham it up
0:36:30 like you do your weddings?
0:36:31 they do cremation
0:36:33 and there’s also some
0:36:33 like I don’t know
0:36:34 parts that you’re like
0:36:35 is this what we’re
0:36:36 supposed to be doing
0:36:36 right now?
0:36:36 like they basically
0:36:37 have like the casket
0:36:38 this is kind of
0:36:38 too much info
0:36:39 but like they have
0:36:40 the casket or whatever
0:36:42 and I think like
0:36:42 an American
0:36:43 I don’t know
0:36:44 really exactly what
0:36:44 happens at American
0:36:44 funerals
0:36:45 but I would assume
0:36:46 like you sort of
0:36:47 you go
0:36:47 you sort of
0:36:48 give your thoughts
0:36:49 and prayers
0:36:49 whatever
0:36:50 you maybe put a
0:36:50 flower down
0:36:52 or something like that
0:36:53 right before they
0:36:55 have the send off
0:36:56 the final thing
0:36:56 right before cremation
0:36:58 the guy like
0:36:58 breaks out
0:36:59 like a gallon
0:37:00 of milk
0:37:01 a bunch of like
0:37:01 food
0:37:01 and like you
0:37:02 basically pour
0:37:03 all this stuff
0:37:04 on top of the body
0:37:05 it’s like feels
0:37:05 like completely
0:37:06 blasphemous
0:37:08 and I like put
0:37:09 like a drop
0:37:09 he’s like no no
0:37:10 the whole gallon
0:37:11 and I was like
0:37:11 what?
0:37:13 pouring milk
0:37:13 all over this man
0:37:14 this is ridiculous
0:37:15 so that part
0:37:15 was a little bit
0:37:15 strange
0:37:16 but the rest
0:37:16 was I would
0:37:17 say you know
0:37:18 normal
0:37:18 and people
0:37:19 gave you know
0:37:19 their eulogies
0:37:20 and what not
0:37:21 so my dad
0:37:21 goes up there
0:37:22 and gives a speech
0:37:23 and my dad
0:37:23 had told me
0:37:24 this story before
0:37:25 and you just
0:37:25 had a kid
0:37:26 and so this
0:37:26 is kind of
0:37:27 for all the dads
0:37:27 out there
0:37:29 so the best
0:37:30 thing my grandpa
0:37:31 ever did
0:37:31 as a dad
0:37:33 which I’m
0:37:33 gonna steal
0:37:33 and I think
0:37:34 others should
0:37:34 steal it too
0:37:36 so my dad
0:37:37 and my family
0:37:38 my dad’s family
0:37:39 grew up like
0:37:40 dirt dirt poor
0:37:41 India
0:37:42 like middle
0:37:42 of nowhere
0:37:43 it’s like
0:37:44 you know
0:37:44 you go on
0:37:45 Google Maps
0:37:45 you gotta like
0:37:45 zoom in
0:37:46 pinch to zoom
0:37:46 three times
0:37:47 to even see
0:37:48 the little town
0:37:48 that my dad
0:37:49 grew up in
0:37:49 and like
0:37:50 somehow my dad
0:37:51 like you know
0:37:52 was born there
0:37:53 and now like
0:37:54 60 something years
0:37:55 later he’s got
0:37:55 like a mansion
0:37:56 in San Francisco
0:37:57 and like an
0:37:58 iPhone in his pocket
0:37:59 it’s like kind of
0:37:59 like crazy
0:38:00 that like that
0:38:01 that kid
0:38:02 ends up doing
0:38:02 this
0:38:02 and this doesn’t
0:38:03 really make
0:38:03 a lot of sense
0:38:04 okay
0:38:04 so like
0:38:05 imagine your dad
0:38:06 being like
0:38:07 my son is going
0:38:08 to be a famous
0:38:09 YouTuber
0:38:10 in America
0:38:11 you know what I mean
0:38:11 like he’s gonna be
0:38:12 writing books
0:38:12 on creativity
0:38:14 it’s a wild journey
0:38:15 million dollars to talk
0:38:16 it doesn’t make
0:38:17 any sense
0:38:17 so
0:38:19 how do you get
0:38:19 from there to there
0:38:20 and so he was
0:38:21 he was telling the story
0:38:21 he’s like
0:38:22 you know
0:38:22 we grew up
0:38:23 like we couldn’t
0:38:24 afford anything
0:38:24 like you know
0:38:24 we
0:38:25 he’s like
0:38:25 I hadn’t seen
0:38:26 a movie
0:38:27 movies existed
0:38:28 I hadn’t seen
0:38:29 one until I was 16
0:38:29 and you know
0:38:30 the day we went
0:38:31 we got one bottle
0:38:32 of Coca-Cola
0:38:33 and split it amongst
0:38:33 like the you know
0:38:34 four kids
0:38:34 type of deal
0:38:35 like it was like
0:38:36 that was like
0:38:37 a highlight of my childhood
0:38:38 like I still remember
0:38:38 that memory today
0:38:39 anyways
0:38:40 one of the things
0:38:40 that he says
0:38:41 that his dad
0:38:41 did for him
0:38:42 he goes
0:38:43 my dad gave me
0:38:43 he goes
0:38:44 he didn’t have money
0:38:44 couldn’t give me
0:38:46 fancy anything
0:38:47 he didn’t send me
0:38:48 to a fancy school
0:38:49 he didn’t
0:38:50 we didn’t have
0:38:50 a lot of toys
0:38:51 he didn’t give me
0:38:52 anything in that area
0:38:52 right
0:38:53 he goes
0:38:53 but the one thing
0:38:54 he did give me
0:38:55 was he gave me
0:38:55 this belief
0:38:56 from the very beginning
0:38:57 he brainwashed me
0:38:59 that I was special
0:39:00 and he goes
0:39:01 there was no evidence
0:39:02 I didn’t do anything special
0:39:03 but he just felt
0:39:04 like I’m special
0:39:05 and he just kept
0:39:05 saying it
0:39:05 he’s like
0:39:06 he would say it
0:39:06 in public
0:39:07 so he’s like
0:39:08 he would take me
0:39:08 to his job
0:39:09 my grandfather
0:39:10 worked I think
0:39:10 at like
0:39:11 kind of like
0:39:11 a government
0:39:12 like almost
0:39:14 like a weapons factory
0:39:15 basically
0:39:15 for the government
0:39:16 and he would
0:39:17 take him there
0:39:18 and like
0:39:19 the boss
0:39:20 his boss
0:39:20 the manager
0:39:21 of the factory
0:39:22 would be like
0:39:22 oh like
0:39:23 there’s the little one
0:39:24 there’s my guy
0:39:24 hey
0:39:25 wear the hard hat
0:39:26 like you know
0:39:26 someday you’ll
0:39:27 you can be here
0:39:28 you can run this
0:39:29 you know
0:39:29 this place
0:39:32 and my grandfather
0:39:33 would be like
0:39:33 to go to his boss
0:39:34 and be like
0:39:34 no way
0:39:35 he goes
0:39:36 this boy
0:39:37 my boy
0:39:38 he’s not gonna work
0:39:39 in a factory
0:39:40 this boy’s special
0:39:41 you don’t know
0:39:42 this boy’s special
0:39:42 he’s gonna do
0:39:43 incredible things
0:39:44 he’s gonna be in America
0:39:46 he’s gonna be doing
0:39:47 incredible things someday
0:39:47 he’s not gonna work
0:39:48 in a factory
0:39:49 and so just like
0:39:51 he kind of breathed
0:39:52 this belief
0:39:53 into him
0:39:53 and he just
0:39:53 he’s like
0:39:54 he always said it
0:39:55 he never had
0:39:56 he never explained
0:39:57 why he believed it
0:39:57 or what
0:39:58 how it would happen
0:40:00 but he was just so sure
0:40:01 that I became kind of sure
0:40:02 and I just started
0:40:02 to believe that
0:40:03 about myself
0:40:03 and so like
0:40:04 he goes
0:40:05 that was like
0:40:06 almost like
0:40:06 in Jack
0:40:07 he gave me
0:40:08 like a magic bean
0:40:10 and this bean
0:40:10 was like
0:40:11 my belief in myself
0:40:12 and I see this
0:40:12 all the time
0:40:13 with my kids
0:40:14 where it’s very easy
0:40:17 to criticize kids
0:40:18 because kids do dumb stuff
0:40:19 all the time
0:40:20 it’s very easy
0:40:21 to like tell them off
0:40:22 for not doing things
0:40:23 the right way
0:40:24 it’s very easy
0:40:25 to you know
0:40:25 like mix
0:40:26 sort of this praise
0:40:26 and criticism
0:40:29 but my brother-in-law
0:40:29 has been doing
0:40:30 the same thing
0:40:31 with his daughter
0:40:32 who showed a little bit
0:40:33 of talent in soccer
0:40:34 and then he like
0:40:35 went all in
0:40:35 and was like
0:40:37 he created an Instagram account
0:40:38 called Raising Rinaldo
0:40:39 when he’s like
0:40:39 I’m raising Rinaldo
0:40:40 right now
0:40:40 I’m not
0:40:41 this is not my daughter
0:40:42 this is the next Rinaldo
0:40:44 and he puts posters up
0:40:45 and he just continues
0:40:46 oh when you’re playing pro
0:40:47 I’m gonna be in the crowd
0:40:47 I’m gonna do this
0:40:48 I’m gonna do that
0:40:48 is this Aaron?
0:40:49 Aaron yeah
0:40:50 he’s been saying this
0:40:51 for like eight years now
0:40:52 she’s 10
0:40:53 you know
0:40:54 like she’s like
0:40:54 you know
0:40:55 she’s young
0:40:56 she believes
0:40:57 and she works
0:40:58 like somebody
0:40:58 who is the next
0:41:00 like she’s training
0:41:01 like you know
0:41:01 seven days a week
0:41:02 no days off
0:41:03 on vacation
0:41:03 they take the ball
0:41:04 they go do
0:41:04 a hundred
0:41:05 you know
0:41:06 like when they keep
0:41:06 the ball
0:41:07 their juggles
0:41:07 like a hundred juggles
0:41:08 in a row
0:41:09 like they don’t do
0:41:09 breakfast before that
0:41:10 like it’s incredible
0:41:12 and it reminded me
0:41:13 of I’m gonna read you
0:41:13 this story
0:41:14 and is she into it
0:41:16 is brother Aaron’s
0:41:17 daughter into it
0:41:18 and by the way
0:41:19 like she’s into it
0:41:19 which makes it sound like
0:41:20 oh that’s easy
0:41:21 my kid wouldn’t be into it
0:41:22 well I was there
0:41:22 and like
0:41:24 it’s not as black or white
0:41:24 with a kid
0:41:25 like some days
0:41:26 they’re into it
0:41:27 some days
0:41:27 they’re tired
0:41:28 and cranky
0:41:28 some days
0:41:29 they have a hard
0:41:29 you know
0:41:30 he puts her
0:41:31 she only plays
0:41:31 basically against boys
0:41:33 and so
0:41:34 it’s harder to play
0:41:35 against boys
0:41:35 boys that are
0:41:36 a year or two
0:41:36 older than her
0:41:38 and sometimes
0:41:38 she doesn’t get
0:41:39 to dominate
0:41:39 and she
0:41:40 you know
0:41:40 has a tough game
0:41:40 or whatever
0:41:41 and like
0:41:41 on those days
0:41:42 guess what
0:41:42 she doesn’t want
0:41:43 to go do it
0:41:43 again the next day
0:41:44 he doesn’t force
0:41:45 her to do anything
0:41:45 but he like
0:41:46 never
0:41:47 he never wavers
0:41:48 in his conviction
0:41:48 and that like
0:41:49 has over time
0:41:50 it has overwhelmed
0:41:51 or is completely
0:41:51 brain watcher
0:41:52 in the positive
0:41:52 direction
0:41:53 I want to read
0:41:54 you this story
0:41:55 from this soccer
0:41:55 player
0:41:56 Marcello
0:41:58 so this guy
0:41:58 Marcello
0:42:00 basically told a story
0:42:01 about his grandfather
0:42:02 and he goes
0:42:03 they were talking
0:42:03 about like
0:42:04 what does it feel
0:42:04 like
0:42:04 you’re this star
0:42:05 player for
0:42:05 I think he played
0:42:06 for Real Madrid
0:42:07 like one of the
0:42:08 biggest soccer
0:42:09 clubs in the world
0:42:09 you make millions
0:42:10 of dollars
0:42:10 you’re adored
0:42:11 by fans everywhere
0:42:12 like you know
0:42:12 how does it feel
0:42:12 he goes
0:42:14 this is the quote
0:42:14 he goes
0:42:14 you have to
0:42:15 understand
0:42:15 where I come
0:42:16 from brother
0:42:16 he goes
0:42:17 I can see
0:42:18 the scene
0:42:18 like it’s a movie
0:42:19 in my head
0:42:19 still
0:42:20 I’m eight years
0:42:20 old
0:42:21 my family
0:42:21 had no money
0:42:22 in Brazil
0:42:23 we couldn’t even
0:42:24 afford gasoline
0:42:25 in our car
0:42:25 to make it
0:42:26 to practice
0:42:28 so my grandfather
0:42:29 I didn’t know this
0:42:29 but he made a sacrifice
0:42:30 to change my life
0:42:32 he sold his car
0:42:33 just to get like
0:42:34 you know
0:42:35 in a bad deal
0:42:35 got a little bit
0:42:36 of money
0:42:36 but that was enough
0:42:37 to take the bus
0:42:37 every day
0:42:38 so he takes me
0:42:38 to training
0:42:38 every day
0:42:39 on the public bus
0:42:40 side by side
0:42:40 every day
0:42:40 on the crowded
0:42:41 410
0:42:41 in the heat
0:42:42 side by side
0:42:43 all the way
0:42:44 across Rio de Janeiro
0:42:45 and every day
0:42:46 no matter how I played
0:42:47 he tells me
0:42:47 you’re the best
0:42:48 you are Marcelino
0:42:49 one day
0:42:50 you’re going to be
0:42:50 playing for Brazil
0:42:51 one day
0:42:51 I will see you
0:42:52 in the stadium
0:42:53 and he goes
0:42:55 I could still see
0:42:55 this
0:42:56 that talk
0:42:57 like every day
0:42:58 in 4k
0:42:59 in my head
0:42:59 I can smell
0:43:00 the inside
0:43:00 of that bus
0:43:01 he goes
0:43:02 my grandfather
0:43:03 gave his whole life
0:43:04 for my dream
0:43:05 his friends
0:43:05 used to tease him
0:43:06 that he was broke
0:43:07 and he would tell
0:43:07 his friends
0:43:08 he would take out
0:43:08 his pocket
0:43:09 show that it’s empty
0:43:10 and say
0:43:11 hey look at me man
0:43:12 I don’t have a single penny
0:43:12 but I’m the happiest
0:43:13 mother effer in the world
0:43:15 he believed in me
0:43:15 we were partners
0:43:16 in this endeavor
0:43:18 and he talks about
0:43:19 like in his village
0:43:20 how there was
0:43:20 his grandfather
0:43:21 who did this for him
0:43:21 but also
0:43:22 the shopkeeper
0:43:23 he couldn’t afford
0:43:23 a ball
0:43:24 and so he goes
0:43:25 to the local shop
0:43:26 and he asked him
0:43:26 he’s like
0:43:27 hey can I have a ball
0:43:28 and the guy’s like
0:43:28 yeah sure
0:43:29 it costs as much
0:43:29 he goes
0:43:29 I don’t have the money
0:43:30 but when I’m
0:43:31 a professional player
0:43:32 when I grow up
0:43:32 I’ll come back
0:43:33 and I’ll pay you
0:43:34 he’s like 8 years old
0:43:35 7 years old
0:43:35 at the time
0:43:36 and the guy just laughs
0:43:36 and he’s like
0:43:37 alright take a ball
0:43:37 you deserve it
0:43:38 he’s like
0:43:39 make sure you pay me
0:43:40 when you become pro
0:43:40 right
0:43:41 like just
0:43:41 you know
0:43:42 it kind of pulls
0:43:43 on the heart strings
0:43:44 and so
0:43:45 when he became a pro
0:43:46 he came back
0:43:46 and basically
0:43:47 like bought
0:43:48 like unlimited balls
0:43:49 for every kid
0:43:50 in the town
0:43:50 like forever
0:43:51 growing up
0:43:51 and was just like
0:43:52 no kid will have
0:43:53 that you know
0:43:54 that problem now
0:43:55 and so I hear
0:43:55 these stories
0:43:56 and it just kind of
0:43:57 reminds you of like
0:43:58 the power that
0:43:59 either a father
0:43:59 or a grandfather
0:44:00 can have
0:44:01 in the kind of
0:44:01 shaping
0:44:03 of a kid
0:44:03 and actually like
0:44:04 the best thing
0:44:05 you can give them
0:44:06 is like
0:44:07 fundamentally
0:44:07 a belief
0:44:08 that they’re
0:44:09 going to be great
0:44:10 and people
0:44:11 will rise
0:44:12 to your assumption
0:44:13 if they don’t have
0:44:13 a strong assumption
0:44:14 about themselves
0:44:15 and kids don’t have
0:44:15 strong assumptions
0:44:16 about themselves yet
0:44:17 and so you can give
0:44:18 them a stronger frame
0:44:19 that they will
0:44:20 live up to
0:44:20 where did your
0:44:21 grandpa
0:44:22 we got
0:44:23 we’ll have to link
0:44:24 to this one
0:44:25 but Sean has
0:44:25 this amazing story
0:44:26 about his mother
0:44:27 coming to America
0:44:27 and like seeing
0:44:28 a plane
0:44:29 for the first time
0:44:29 it’s like
0:44:30 I think about
0:44:31 that story
0:44:32 weekly actually
0:44:33 it’s pretty amazing
0:44:35 where did your
0:44:36 grandpa end up
0:44:37 like so he made
0:44:38 it to America
0:44:38 with his family
0:44:40 did your father
0:44:40 come first
0:44:40 and then your
0:44:41 grandfather
0:44:41 yeah so he gets
0:44:42 my dad
0:44:43 he gets his son
0:44:44 to go
0:44:45 in like kind of
0:44:46 a crazy set of
0:44:47 circumstances
0:44:47 you know what
0:44:47 IIT is
0:44:49 it’s like the
0:44:50 Indian Institute
0:44:51 it’s like the
0:44:52 Indian Technical
0:44:52 College right
0:44:53 or the important
0:44:54 university in India
0:44:54 but then didn’t
0:44:55 your dad go to
0:44:55 Berkeley
0:44:57 no so he went
0:44:58 to IIT in India
0:44:58 which is basically
0:44:59 like I don’t know
0:45:00 it’s like Harvard
0:45:00 for India
0:45:01 it’s even harder
0:45:01 to get into
0:45:02 because there’s
0:45:02 like a billion
0:45:03 people trying to
0:45:03 get into the
0:45:04 one like
0:45:05 top top
0:45:05 brand
0:45:08 he gets in
0:45:08 there by
0:45:09 happenstance
0:45:10 again when
0:45:11 you believe
0:45:11 something about
0:45:11 yourself
0:45:12 you’ll take
0:45:13 chances that
0:45:13 other people
0:45:13 wouldn’t
0:45:14 so he doesn’t
0:45:14 even know
0:45:15 what IIT is
0:45:15 he doesn’t
0:45:16 even know
0:45:16 you’re supposed
0:45:17 to be taking
0:45:17 entrance exams
0:45:18 he sees a guy
0:45:19 and his friend
0:45:19 is on a scooter
0:45:20 he’s like hey
0:45:20 you want to come
0:45:21 play and the
0:45:21 guy’s like no
0:45:21 no I gotta
0:45:22 go take this
0:45:22 test
0:45:23 and he’s like
0:45:24 what test
0:45:24 and he’s like
0:45:25 I’m trying to
0:45:25 get into IIT
0:45:26 it’s the best
0:45:26 and that’s how
0:45:27 you get
0:45:27 if I get
0:45:27 and he’s like
0:45:28 why do you care
0:45:29 it’s so far
0:45:29 away
0:45:29 why would you
0:45:30 want to go to
0:45:30 school there
0:45:30 go to school
0:45:31 here
0:45:31 he’s like
0:45:32 because if I
0:45:32 get in there
0:45:32 I can go to
0:45:33 America
0:45:33 again his
0:45:34 grandfather told
0:45:34 him you’re
0:45:35 going to be
0:45:35 in America
0:45:35 someday
0:45:36 so he’s
0:45:37 looking for
0:45:38 he hears
0:45:38 that and he
0:45:38 says
0:45:39 so he literally
0:45:40 hops on the
0:45:40 back of this
0:45:41 dude’s scooter
0:45:42 and goes and
0:45:42 takes the test
0:45:43 blind
0:45:44 now my dad
0:45:44 was a pretty
0:45:45 like good
0:45:45 student
0:45:46 because again
0:45:46 like when
0:45:46 you don’t
0:45:47 have anything
0:45:47 else
0:45:47 you don’t
0:45:48 have TV
0:45:48 you don’t
0:45:48 have anything
0:45:48 like all
0:45:49 he had
0:45:49 was his
0:45:49 books
0:45:50 for textbooks
0:45:50 from school
0:45:51 so he’s a good
0:45:52 student
0:45:52 so he ended
0:45:53 up getting
0:45:53 into IIT
0:45:54 I think he ranked
0:45:54 like 39th
0:45:55 in all of India
0:45:55 like something
0:45:56 crazy like that
0:45:57 and so he goes
0:45:57 through IIT
0:45:58 gets a scholarship
0:45:59 to come to
0:45:59 study at
0:46:00 Boulder University
0:46:01 in Colorado
0:46:03 arrives in the
0:46:03 dead of the
0:46:04 night
0:46:05 becomes a piehead
0:46:06 a week later
0:46:08 well could have
0:46:08 easily because
0:46:09 he arrives at
0:46:09 the dead of the
0:46:09 night
0:46:10 he had a
0:46:11 scholarship
0:46:11 that’s the
0:46:11 only way
0:46:11 you can go
0:46:12 there
0:46:12 and when
0:46:13 you come
0:46:13 from India
0:46:13 I don’t think
0:46:14 people realize
0:46:14 you’re not
0:46:15 allowed to
0:46:15 bring in
0:46:16 like assets
0:46:17 not that my
0:46:17 family had
0:46:18 assets
0:46:18 but you could
0:46:19 only bring
0:46:19 in like some
0:46:20 crazy small
0:46:20 amount of
0:46:21 money like
0:46:21 six dollars
0:46:21 or something
0:46:22 like that
0:46:23 so my dad
0:46:23 had six bucks
0:46:24 and he came
0:46:25 to America
0:46:25 basically
0:46:25 and had to
0:46:26 figure it out
0:46:26 he’s like
0:46:26 oh don’t
0:46:26 worry
0:46:27 like I have
0:46:27 housing
0:46:28 and tuition
0:46:28 paid by
0:46:28 the school
0:46:29 but he arrives
0:46:30 in December
0:46:30 like the
0:46:31 admissions office
0:46:31 is closed
0:46:32 for winter
0:46:32 break
0:46:33 so he’s
0:46:33 literally
0:46:33 just like
0:46:34 outside in
0:46:34 the cold
0:46:34 in the winter
0:46:35 in Colorado
0:46:35 he’s like
0:46:37 what do I do
0:46:37 again
0:46:38 never been on
0:46:39 a plane before
0:46:39 like everything’s
0:46:39 new
0:46:41 some French
0:46:41 dude
0:46:42 some student
0:46:42 there who’s
0:46:43 a French guy
0:46:43 another international
0:46:44 student who
0:46:44 wasn’t home
0:46:45 for holidays
0:46:45 sees him
0:46:46 and he’s like
0:46:46 dude what
0:46:46 are you doing
0:46:47 he’s like
0:46:48 I’m trying
0:46:49 to get
0:46:49 into this
0:46:49 place
0:46:51 so that guy
0:46:51 just takes
0:46:52 him in
0:46:52 he’s like
0:46:52 come stay
0:46:53 with me
0:46:53 so he just
0:46:53 lives with
0:46:54 this guy
0:46:55 again somebody
0:46:56 somebody helps
0:46:56 him out along
0:46:56 the way
0:46:57 anyways my dad
0:46:58 brings my
0:46:58 grandfather over
0:46:59 when he gets
0:46:59 here
0:47:00 how old
0:47:01 wait hold on
0:47:02 so your father
0:47:02 was like
0:47:03 college age
0:47:04 21
0:47:05 22
0:47:05 and he
0:47:06 okay so he
0:47:06 was only 21
0:47:07 and he brought
0:47:07 his father over
0:47:08 brings his
0:47:09 over the next
0:47:10 few years
0:47:10 he brings his
0:47:11 father over
0:47:11 brings his
0:47:12 brother over
0:47:12 but he gets
0:47:13 everybody over
0:47:13 right that’s
0:47:14 like the
0:47:15 role of that
0:47:16 kind of the
0:47:16 eldest son
0:47:17 is to like
0:47:17 so your dad
0:47:18 was the shit
0:47:19 well yeah
0:47:20 I mean what he
0:47:20 did yeah
0:47:21 it changed
0:47:21 like the direction
0:47:22 of kind of his
0:47:23 tribe you know
0:47:24 and so my
0:47:25 grandfather
0:47:25 comes over
0:47:26 and I remember
0:47:26 when I was a
0:47:26 kid like
0:47:27 we used to go
0:47:28 with him to his
0:47:28 vending
0:47:28 he had like
0:47:29 a vending
0:47:29 machine side
0:47:30 hustle we
0:47:30 would go
0:47:31 collect all
0:47:31 the quarters
0:47:32 out of like
0:47:32 four vending
0:47:33 machines that
0:47:33 he was like
0:47:34 running at the
0:47:35 time then he
0:47:36 upgraded he got
0:47:37 like a little
0:47:37 snack shop in
0:47:38 the in the
0:47:38 in the office
0:47:39 building and we
0:47:40 used to sit at
0:47:41 the cashier there
0:47:41 doing that all
0:47:42 day like he
0:47:42 basically just
0:47:43 kind of had
0:47:43 some hustles
0:47:44 but you know
0:47:45 the other thing
0:47:45 I thought was
0:47:46 kind of admirable
0:47:48 was when he
0:47:49 was like in his
0:47:50 70s or 80s
0:47:50 like whenever the
0:47:51 computer came out
0:47:51 and like I don’t
0:47:52 know if you
0:47:52 remember we had
0:47:53 like a computer
0:47:53 room in our
0:47:54 house like one
0:47:55 desktop computer
0:47:55 for the whole
0:47:56 family he would
0:47:57 come in and he
0:47:58 would try to
0:47:58 learn how to
0:47:59 type now like
0:47:59 imagine like a
0:48:00 75 year old 80
0:48:01 year old guy
0:48:01 doing like this
0:48:02 you know and
0:48:03 but he’s not just
0:48:03 like trying to use
0:48:04 the computer he’s
0:48:05 literally just saying
0:48:05 I want to learn
0:48:06 how to type like a
0:48:08 skill I was like
0:48:08 what do you have
0:48:09 planned what are you
0:48:09 gonna do with all
0:48:10 this typing and he
0:48:10 didn’t care he’s
0:48:11 like no this is the
0:48:12 new thing I’m not
0:48:13 gonna he basically
0:48:14 never gave up on
0:48:15 himself he’s like
0:48:16 never too like too
0:48:17 old where you know
0:48:17 like most old
0:48:18 people just literally
0:48:20 are like ah that’s
0:48:21 too bad that’s too
0:48:22 complicated that’s for
0:48:22 young people and
0:48:23 like he never had
0:48:24 that attitude he was
0:48:25 like if it exists
0:48:26 like it’s for me
0:48:27 like he worked
0:48:28 at Circuit City in
0:48:29 the DVD section when
0:48:30 he was like 80 years
0:48:31 old and they were
0:48:32 like dude do you
0:48:32 know anything about
0:48:33 movies or music
0:48:34 American movies or
0:48:35 music he’s like no
0:48:36 and he’s like he
0:48:36 would joke like they
0:48:37 can’t fire me though
0:48:38 because I’m so old
0:48:38 like it would be
0:48:39 discrimination it’s
0:48:39 hilarious they’re too
0:48:40 afraid to fire me even
0:48:41 though I don’t know
0:48:41 anything about this
0:48:43 job and like Circuit
0:48:44 City had to go bankrupt
0:48:45 before they could get
0:48:46 rid of him like you
0:48:47 know he was kind of
0:48:48 good stubborn in that
0:48:49 way he would like
0:48:50 never take medicine
0:48:51 like even at the end
0:48:52 last month he broke
0:48:53 his femur because he
0:48:55 fell and like breaking
0:48:56 your femur is like the
0:48:56 biggest bone in your
0:48:57 body it’s a pretty rough
0:48:59 break but like even
0:48:59 when he was in the
0:49:00 hospital he was like
0:49:02 immobilized he would be
0:49:03 doing like arm exercises
0:49:03 because he’s like oh I’m
0:49:04 going to be back and when
0:49:05 I got to keep my body
0:49:07 active you know like that
0:49:08 was always his mentality
0:49:09 so a lot of things that I
0:49:10 kind of admire that you
0:49:11 know I’ll always remember
0:49:12 about him
0:49:13 how did you get to DC
0:49:15 when they came over it’s
0:49:15 like where are we going
0:49:16 to live they lived with
0:49:17 us for a while in
0:49:20 Colorado and then when
0:49:21 it was like okay that’s
0:49:22 enough living with us
0:49:23 now thank you it was
0:49:24 like here’s DC like
0:49:25 where some of the other
0:49:26 siblings live so that we
0:49:27 got them a house there
0:49:28 they live there
0:49:28 I’ve been thinking
0:49:30 about like we’ve been
0:49:31 thinking about like some
0:49:33 logos or not logos
0:49:34 like slogans and stuff
0:49:35 for Hampton and I’ve
0:49:36 been obsessed with this
0:49:37 idea of building what
0:49:39 outlives you and so
0:49:40 like build what outlives
0:49:41 you it’s like this
0:49:41 phrase that I’ve been
0:49:44 obsessed with and that
0:49:45 doesn’t mean business
0:49:46 necessarily it could
0:49:47 mean but what’s
0:49:48 interesting is that your
0:49:49 grandfather so far has
0:49:51 been the best example of
0:49:51 building what outlives
0:49:53 you and so like telling
0:49:54 you the story about how
0:49:56 like he gave his father
0:49:57 this or his son this
0:49:58 attitude which then my
0:49:59 father gave that to me
0:50:00 you know you speak in it
0:50:01 my father gave it to me
0:50:01 and I’m like that’s the
0:50:02 best example of building
0:50:03 something that outlives
0:50:04 you which just a positive
0:50:06 attitude is what outlived
0:50:07 him and I find that to be
0:50:08 very fascinating and
0:50:09 frankly I find that to be
0:50:10 the most admirable thing a
0:50:12 man can do is to build
0:50:12 what outlives you and
0:50:14 it’s legacy and not
0:50:15 legacy in the sense of your
0:50:15 name is going to be on
0:50:16 the building or whatever
0:50:18 it’s just that I live a
0:50:19 certain way because this
0:50:20 guy lived a certain way
0:50:21 because this guy lived a
0:50:22 certain way and because
0:50:23 this grandfather lived a
0:50:24 certain way I now treat
0:50:25 people wonderfully and
0:50:26 that’s the that’s the
0:50:27 most beautiful example of
0:50:28 building what outlives
0:50:30 you yeah do you do you
0:50:31 know like your family
0:50:32 history like I’ve heard
0:50:32 this sometimes when people
0:50:33 are like my great great
0:50:34 grandfather did this or
0:50:35 we were we were actually
0:50:37 warriors and therefore and
0:50:38 then people really take
0:50:39 that as like so that’s in
0:50:41 my blood and it really
0:50:42 gives him a lot of
0:50:43 belief I don’t even know
0:50:44 like I didn’t know half
0:50:45 the shit about my
0:50:46 grandfather until the
0:50:47 funeral when they were
0:50:47 telling the stories about
0:50:49 like his upbringing no
0:50:50 frankly I did not have
0:50:51 this and where I’m from in
0:50:52 the Midwest like it’s just
0:50:53 like my people have been
0:50:55 here for forever in St.
0:50:56 Louis all my grandparents
0:50:57 are dead by the age of
0:50:59 three for me and so I
0:51:01 lacked a massive sense of
0:51:02 belonging and so I
0:51:03 remember meeting a Jewish
0:51:04 guy and like him telling
0:51:05 like the traditions of
0:51:06 like Judaism and like
0:51:09 going to like like having
0:51:10 this Friday night meal I’m
0:51:12 like oh my god I crave
0:51:13 this tribe I was like I
0:51:14 crave this so much or
0:51:15 like I remember like moving
0:51:16 to San Francisco and
0:51:17 walking around on the
0:51:18 Stanford the Stanford
0:51:20 campus and I’m like oh my
0:51:21 god I would love to have
0:51:23 this Stanford logo on my
0:51:24 LinkedIn or whatever just
0:51:25 so I can meet other
0:51:26 people who share these
0:51:27 values like I’ve been
0:51:28 desperate my whole life
0:51:29 for like a sense of
0:51:30 belonging because I never
0:51:31 had that as a as a as a
0:51:34 kid this is for the folks
0:51:35 out there who have a
0:51:36 business that does at
0:51:36 least three million
0:51:37 dollars a year in
0:51:38 revenue because around
0:51:39 this point that’s when
0:51:40 you’re able to look up
0:51:41 after being heads down
0:51:42 for years building your
0:51:43 company and you realize
0:51:45 two things one you’ve
0:51:46 done something great but
0:51:47 you’re still a long way
0:51:48 from your final
0:51:49 destination and two you
0:51:50 look around and you
0:51:52 realize I am all alone
0:51:54 I’ve outrun my peers
0:51:55 which means you’re now
0:51:56 making 10 million dollar
0:51:57 decisions alone by
0:51:59 yourself and that is
0:52:00 when mediocrity can
0:52:01 creep in my company
0:52:03 Hampton we solve this
0:52:04 problem by giving a room
0:52:06 of vetted peers of other
0:52:07 entrepreneurs who are
0:52:07 going to hold you
0:52:09 accountable call you out
0:52:10 on your nonsense and
0:52:11 help show you the way
0:52:13 because the fact is is
0:52:13 that there’s only a tiny
0:52:14 number of people in your
0:52:15 town who know what
0:52:16 you’re going through and
0:52:18 who have been there and
0:52:19 they’re hard to find the
0:52:20 biggest risk is not
0:52:21 failing you have a
0:52:22 company and it’s working
0:52:23 you’re going to be fine
0:52:24 but the biggest risk is
0:52:25 waking up 10 years from
0:52:27 now and saying shit I
0:52:29 barely grew in business
0:52:30 and in life and for
0:52:31 people like you who are
0:52:32 ambitious wasted
0:52:34 potential and regret is
0:52:35 what we want to help you
0:52:37 to avoid we have made so
0:52:38 many of these groups and
0:52:39 we have a thousand plus
0:52:40 members and I know this
0:52:42 stuff actually works it
0:52:43 can change your life it
0:52:44 changed mine and I know it
0:52:45 will change yours so check
0:52:47 it out joinhampton.com
0:52:50 can I tell you we talked
0:52:51 about books earlier can I
0:52:52 tell you this idea that this
0:52:53 like very interesting
0:52:54 business that I had never
0:52:56 heard of so have you ever
0:52:57 heard of little blue books
0:53:00 no what is it little okay so
0:53:01 check out what I have in my
0:53:03 hand you see this this is a
0:53:04 little blue book it’s not
0:53:05 blue by the way but it is
0:53:06 tiny so for the people
0:53:08 listening I googled it and
0:53:09 Sean just showed it it almost
0:53:10 looks like you pulled the
0:53:13 cover off of a book yeah it’s a
0:53:15 little paperback I mean not
0:53:16 paper it’s just paper like
0:53:17 stapled together literally
0:53:18 there’s a staple on the
0:53:20 side and it’s like a three
0:53:22 inch high book and these
0:53:22 were called little black
0:53:23 books little blue books
0:53:26 guess how many copies of
0:53:28 little blue books sold I
0:53:29 have no idea just take a
0:53:31 guess oh my god I just saw
0:53:34 the number oh my god oh my
0:53:37 god really okay so there
0:53:39 there’s been something like
0:53:41 a low-end estimate is 200
0:53:42 million high-end estimate is
0:53:45 500 million copies of these
0:53:47 books were sold did you take
0:53:49 your idea from this or did
0:53:50 you like know your idea and
0:53:51 you realize telling I was
0:53:52 telling Craig Clements about
0:53:54 my idea for one hour books
0:53:56 and he was like do you know
0:53:56 about little blue books and
0:53:57 I was like no he’s like oh
0:53:58 dude you got to check this
0:54:00 out oh my gosh and the
0:54:02 titles are the best yeah so
0:54:03 like this one right now I’m
0:54:04 holding by the way just for
0:54:05 reference like you know
0:54:07 Harry Potter sold like
0:54:08 something like 600 million
0:54:09 copies so this is like a
0:54:11 Harry Potter level phenomenon
0:54:12 that existed you know a
0:54:13 long time ago so this one
0:54:15 the title is the gentle art
0:54:17 of making enemies oh my
0:54:18 gosh you’re telling me the
0:54:19 subtle art of not giving an
0:54:20 F and didn’t steal from that
0:54:21 right or it’ll just be like
0:54:22 this one Proverbs of Turkey
0:54:24 they’re about popular
0:54:26 Shakespearean quotes a rapid
0:54:28 calculator how to make rapid
0:54:29 arithmetic arithmetic
0:54:30 calculations in your head
0:54:33 book about doing mental math
0:54:34 how to dress on a small
0:54:36 salary the psychology of
0:54:37 leadership the puzzle of
0:54:39 personality man and his
0:54:42 ancestors yes so then they
0:54:43 have they have they’re good
0:54:44 at titles they’re good at
0:54:45 copywriting that the books
0:54:46 themselves by the way not
0:54:48 actually good I spent like an
0:54:49 afternoon trying to read
0:54:50 these because I was like oh I
0:54:51 found this hidden pearl of
0:54:52 wisdom from the past
0:54:54 personally didn’t really love
0:54:56 any of the books but did
0:54:57 Craig like this because of the
0:54:59 marketing yeah he was just
0:55:01 like this was a I mean this
0:55:02 was like a phenomenon you
0:55:03 should study this and just
0:55:04 steal something from this
0:55:05 thing that happened you know
0:55:06 such a long time ago the
0:55:08 reason I bring this up is and
0:55:09 why this is related to what
0:55:10 you talked about so why did
0:55:11 these things succeed because I
0:55:12 thought well maybe they were
0:55:13 just incredible incredibly
0:55:14 popular which are well
0:55:16 written whatever no they’re
0:55:18 not really right like this
0:55:19 today seems like you know
0:55:20 this could be an Instagram
0:55:21 account maybe or you know
0:55:22 something something so
0:55:24 simple the reason this worked
0:55:25 was basically back in the
0:55:26 day before this was like
0:55:27 before there were like public
0:55:28 libraries so books were
0:55:30 actually rare they were not
0:55:31 something that the average
0:55:33 person could afford or had
0:55:34 access to and so you had an
0:55:36 access problem and they
0:55:37 were in low supply and so
0:55:38 they came out with these
0:55:39 and these things would cost
0:55:40 nothing they would be like a
0:55:42 nickel to buy the book so
0:55:43 you could buy this for five
0:55:46 cents you could carry it
0:55:47 around in your pocket because
0:55:48 it was so small so it was
0:55:50 portable it was affordable
0:55:51 and it became ubiquitous they
0:55:52 would sell it at like you
0:55:54 know every newspaper stand
0:55:55 corner store anywhere you
0:55:56 could put this thing
0:55:56 anywhere it’s so small
0:55:58 it’s basically a podcast
0:56:00 episode exactly it’s like
0:56:03 YouTube videos and so what I
0:56:04 found interesting was man in
0:56:06 a time where that’s scarce
0:56:08 this can sell 500 million
0:56:10 copies because information
0:56:12 was scarce back then it was
0:56:12 actually a hard to get
0:56:13 information you couldn’t go on
0:56:15 Google or YouTube couldn’t
0:56:15 even get a book from a
0:56:17 library couldn’t afford a lot
0:56:18 of this information so where
0:56:18 would you get that
0:56:19 information about how to
0:56:20 dress on a small salary or
0:56:22 you know the quotes from
0:56:24 Shakespeare or proverbs of
0:56:26 of Aristotle right you hope
0:56:27 that your dad would tell you
0:56:28 correct but like you know
0:56:31 most people don’t so that
0:56:32 became incredibly valuable
0:56:33 now today fast forward
0:56:34 today information is
0:56:35 ubiquitous it’s like running
0:56:36 water you can get it
0:56:37 anywhere you get all the
0:56:38 information you’ll ever want
0:56:40 instantaneously in whatever
0:56:41 style you want and then
0:56:42 sometimes it’s even if you go
0:56:43 to your feed like Instagram
0:56:44 or TikTok you’ll get
0:56:45 information you didn’t even
0:56:46 ask for but might be
0:56:48 interesting to you curated by
0:56:49 this sort of all-knowing
0:56:50 algorithm okay so
0:56:51 information is now abundant
0:56:53 so something like this I
0:56:54 don’t think could ever work
0:56:56 today now what’s scarce
0:56:58 today is became became the
0:56:59 interesting question in my
0:57:00 head because if
0:57:01 information was scarce then
0:57:02 and then there was a need
0:57:02 for little blue books
0:57:04 what’s scarce today and I
0:57:05 think it’s what you just
0:57:07 said now this is I hate
0:57:07 even saying the word
0:57:09 belonging but basically
0:57:10 you know being a part of
0:57:12 a tribe I think is
0:57:14 incredibly scarce today in
0:57:15 America at least or in the
0:57:16 lives that I see around me
0:57:17 me and my lives around me
0:57:19 and I think this is you
0:57:21 know organized religion did
0:57:22 this for a lot of people I
0:57:24 think group exercise classes
0:57:25 like CrossFit and Soul
0:57:27 Cycle did this job for a
0:57:29 lot of people now run
0:57:31 clubs are incredibly popular
0:57:32 book clubs are getting more
0:57:33 and more popular which
0:57:34 seems really counterintuitive
0:57:36 to the trend I think people
0:57:38 need this sort of in-person
0:57:41 tribe with rituals and a
0:57:42 tribe leader and a banner
0:57:44 and rituals that you you
0:57:46 attend I think that is what
0:57:47 is scarce today and I think
0:57:50 people are people crave it
0:57:51 and those who properly build
0:57:52 that are going to prosper in
0:57:54 the future and I think you’re
0:57:54 doing it with Hampton by the
0:57:55 way
0:57:56 yeah I’m trying to do it I
0:57:57 met this guy he came to my
0:57:58 office the other day pomp
0:57:59 Anthony Pompadiano introduced
0:58:01 me to this guy and he was
0:58:03 like you have did you just
0:58:05 drop that just like that is
0:58:05 there a name you need to
0:58:06 pick up because I just
0:58:07 dropped did I just drop that
0:58:11 your Democratic president
0:58:15 the Anthony was like you gotta
0:58:16 and I call him Anthony by the
0:58:18 way it’s like on all in
0:58:19 sometimes like they’re
0:58:20 referring to the SEC chairman
0:58:21 and they’re like yeah look
0:58:22 Tim’s doing a great job
0:58:27 so my version of that is
0:58:30 Anthony Anthony so he was
0:58:30 like you gotta meet this guy
0:58:31 I said yeah whatever sure
0:58:33 set up in the like if you’re
0:58:34 in town come to my office
0:58:36 man I met him and I was
0:58:37 like what’s your deal he’s
0:58:38 just Italian guy with a
0:58:39 thick Italian accent and he’s
0:58:40 got this company that’s
0:58:41 basically making a hundred
0:58:42 million dollars a year curing
0:58:44 loneliness so it’s called but
0:58:45 they’re doing it in a very
0:58:46 unique way so if you go to
0:58:49 we rode.com the business is
0:58:50 crazy so the company let me
0:58:51 tell you what the product is
0:58:52 the product is basically
0:58:55 it’s traveling for 20 30 and
0:58:56 40 year old professionals and
0:58:57 so what they do is if you
0:58:58 want to travel the issue
0:59:00 with a lot of young people is
0:59:00 like they want to travel
0:59:01 alone but they don’t
0:59:02 literally want to be alone
0:59:03 when they travel like they
0:59:04 don’t want to team up with
0:59:05 their friends they want to
0:59:06 do what they want to do but
0:59:07 with other people who want to
0:59:08 do it with them and so it’s
0:59:11 basically 80% women 20% men
0:59:12 is like their customer base
0:59:14 and so they have categories so
0:59:16 it’s like adventure it’s
0:59:18 nature it’s historical they got
0:59:19 a bunch of categories and you
0:59:19 pick a trip that you want to
0:59:21 go on and then seven to
0:59:23 maybe 15 other young people
0:59:24 like you are going to go on
0:59:25 that exact same trip and
0:59:26 you’re going to have a tour
0:59:27 guide leading you along each
0:59:29 trip so this for example i
0:59:31 click patagonia trekking
0:59:31 through argentina and chile
0:59:33 there’s beautiful photos of
0:59:35 like this just looks like
0:59:37 unbelievable and then it’s a
0:59:38 13 day trip you pay three
0:59:39 grand and you’re going to go
0:59:41 with a group of eight to 15
0:59:44 people you know 12 nights in a
0:59:46 hotel or guest house your
0:59:48 breakfasts are included and you
0:59:49 get a domestic flight to buenos
0:59:51 aires from from buenos if
0:59:52 you get to buenos aires from
0:59:53 there to the like start of the
0:59:55 of the adventure and it’s and
0:59:56 then they have like day one
0:59:57 here’s what we do day two
0:59:58 here’s what we do all the way
1:00:00 to day 13 this company i think
1:00:01 it was started in 2020 it’s
1:00:02 only about five or six years
1:00:04 old this year they’re going to
1:00:07 do 116 million in revenue last
1:00:08 year they did 100 million in
1:00:09 revenue and their gross margins
1:00:10 he said i could say all this are
1:00:12 30 i’ve never heard of this
1:00:13 amazing right i’ve never heard
1:00:15 of it either so on 100 million
1:00:16 revenue after they pay the
1:00:18 hotels and the the person
1:00:20 leading the tour guide they keep
1:00:22 30 so 160 million in revenue
1:00:24 what’s that that’s uh like 50
1:00:25 million bucks in like net
1:00:26 revenue to their company
1:00:28 absolutely astounding that this
1:00:30 company exists it’s one of
1:00:31 these ideas that you told me
1:00:32 about it and i’m like yeah that
1:00:33 sounds like a cute little
1:00:35 hobby they’ve totally crushed
1:00:36 it and i’ve been and i was
1:00:37 asking him i’m like why why do
1:00:38 people like this he’s like well
1:00:41 because people uh are lonely and
1:00:43 they don’t want to be alone and
1:00:44 we’re just one example of how
1:00:45 you can solve loneliness because
1:00:47 you go along this trip with
1:00:48 strangers and you’re going to
1:00:49 come home best friends and he
1:00:51 was like and in a lot of cases
1:00:52 sometimes people come home as
1:00:53 boyfriend and girlfriend that
1:00:55 happens a lot uh and so i thought
1:00:56 that this was an absolutely
1:00:58 amazing product to solve like
1:00:59 it’s it’s like there’s these
1:01:01 macro trends so you talk about
1:01:01 this macro trends of like
1:01:03 physical experiences things like
1:01:04 that uh and loneliness and
1:01:05 then there’s like how do you
1:01:06 package that into a solution that
1:01:07 you could sell i’m trying to do
1:01:08 it with hampton in one way this
1:01:10 is a totally other way of doing
1:01:13 it it’s crushing me uh so that
1:01:15 was probably this is a this is a
1:01:17 a very a very nice way to package
1:01:20 it uh it would be nice if i could
1:01:21 have my company doing 160 million
1:01:22 in revenue in five years
1:01:27 but isn’t this pretty cool and
1:01:29 they do something that looks way
1:01:31 more fun and they like hook up so
1:01:33 it’s like basically better in every
1:01:34 dimension that i care about
1:01:38 yeah yeah this is cool i mean my
1:01:40 parents do this uh my mom does
1:01:42 this with uh like seniors do this
1:01:45 as well so her and her siblings two
1:01:48 to three times a year take these
1:01:49 guided tours but it’s basically
1:01:51 groups of seniors you know it’s
1:01:52 just all because they’re like we
1:01:53 don’t have to think right they’re
1:01:55 going to organize all the sightseeing
1:01:56 all the hotels all the food all the
1:01:58 everything they keep you safe they
1:01:59 have the insurance like they do all
1:02:01 that stuff and then you’re with a
1:02:02 group so you know you can grow with
1:02:03 the group or you can kind of make
1:02:05 friends inside the group because you
1:02:07 know traveling when you’re young and
1:02:09 your friends maybe not all not all
1:02:10 being able to synchronize a trip
1:02:11 together or you don’t have enough
1:02:13 friends like that’s one thing the
1:02:14 other is you know you’re empty
1:02:16 nesters your seniors and like you
1:02:18 have way more time and money on your
1:02:20 hands uh but travel is you know
1:02:22 still you know a little bit
1:02:23 difficult and daunting yeah it’s
1:02:26 pretty amazing um like i did it when
1:02:28 i was in college or high school
1:02:30 maybe uh like an ef tour is that
1:02:31 what it’s called educational tour
1:02:32 it’s like the company’s called
1:02:34 ef tours it’s like a multi-billion
1:02:35 dollar company that they do that for
1:02:37 students everyone knows uh that you
1:02:39 can do this are they the ones who
1:02:40 have like an incredible on-campus
1:02:42 marketing like machine where they
1:02:44 basically have like kind of
1:02:45 affiliates and then they do events
1:02:46 it’s like an mlm basically yeah it’s
1:02:48 like started by like a swedish guy
1:02:50 who’s like a recluse but he like
1:02:51 owns the whole bill business and he
1:02:53 does like five billion in revenue it’s
1:02:54 like one of these things where you’re
1:02:56 like you don’t realize how big it is
1:02:58 i was i was too dumb at the time to
1:02:58 like pay attention to what was
1:03:00 happening but now that i look back
1:03:03 with like my business lens now that
1:03:06 thing was brilliant so ef tours does
1:03:10 11 billion a year in revenue uh if i’m
1:03:11 if i’m one of these like who’s like the
1:03:14 travel youtuber that’s popular if i’m
1:03:16 the travel youtuber that’s popular i’m
1:03:18 like the kind of fun adventure type of
1:03:20 youtuber i would create something like
1:03:21 this you know i mean this is very hard
1:03:23 to create to be clear but like i would
1:03:25 steal operators from these companies
1:03:27 and be like you’re gonna build this
1:03:28 you but you’re gonna use my my brand
1:03:30 my face to like spin up because these
1:03:32 aren’t these don’t really have a strong
1:03:35 brand and these are oh way overdue
1:03:37 interestingly this this guy actually has
1:03:39 an sf connection so the guy who started
1:03:40 ef tours i i didn’t research this in
1:03:42 advance so um i’m just kind of looking
1:03:44 at wikipedia he started ef tours in
1:03:47 1965 they now have 52 000 employees and
1:03:50 his last name is holt h-u-l-t the whole
1:03:51 international school of business that’s
1:03:54 the uh holt school in sf uh which
1:03:55 was i think down by fisherman’s wharf
1:03:58 but anyway crazy way of solving
1:04:00 loneliness so um dude this was a fun
1:04:02 episode i’m happy we got to like catch
1:04:05 up but i’m also i i i think that um
1:04:06 there’s times on this podcast sometimes
1:04:07 where like maybe you don’t want to talk
1:04:08 about something personal because you’re
1:04:09 like i don’t know if people are going to
1:04:11 like enjoy this or be like if they can
1:04:13 get like entertainment or education
1:04:14 from like my little personal story but
1:04:16 i gotta say that i’m actually like
1:04:18 incredibly impacted by that story of
1:04:20 your grandfather you know i i have a
1:04:21 soft spot in my heart for immigrants
1:04:23 and so i love hearing the story of your
1:04:25 mother i’ve never heard the story of
1:04:26 your father you love immigrants dude
1:04:29 you love i love immigrants like i you
1:04:30 know i kind of categorize like
1:04:33 first born in america you know son of
1:04:35 immigrants as immigrants as well and in
1:04:37 that regard every one of my friends is
1:04:39 an immigrant it’s almost racist how
1:04:40 much you love immigrants
1:04:45 but seriously
1:04:48 shut up about it
1:04:51 dude i married into an immigrant family
1:04:53 that’s one of your like phrases that
1:04:54 stuck like a lot of people will when
1:04:56 they email me like for an opportunity
1:04:58 like i got that korean uh what is it
1:05:00 korean restaurant what is it korean
1:05:01 corner store owner energy or something
1:05:02 like that like i got that immigrant
1:05:03 mentality
1:05:06 yeah like korean store owner energy so
1:05:08 because in new york you basically there’s
1:05:11 like the corner like markets and they
1:05:13 are all owned by asian families so it’s
1:05:16 typically like a um v to me’s uh family
1:05:17 and i i like to go and i like to talk
1:05:18 to these families and i literally just
1:05:20 like ask them what’s their story uh and
1:05:22 then the smaller ones are usually owned
1:05:24 by uh it’s a lot of indian families but
1:05:26 it’s also a lot of like arabic families
1:05:27 and it’s very interesting how and then
1:05:29 you go to like ducky donuts and that’s
1:05:31 always indian uh and so like i love
1:05:33 going to these like or you go to a
1:05:35 motel always indian and i love going and
1:05:36 like just like i’m like i want to learn
1:05:38 like what’s going on and so i love like
1:05:40 like learning about this stuff i think
1:05:42 it’s so fascinating because immigrants
1:05:44 have this like us versus them mentality
1:05:45 which i’ve always craved you know i
1:05:48 always want to be the us uh turns out
1:05:50 turns out turns out turns out i’m the
1:05:51 them i’m the i’m the against them
1:05:56 yeah yeah you know like i’m iceland in
1:05:58 the muddy ducks like i’m the bad or i’m
1:06:00 like the bad guys uh like you know like
1:06:03 gutter stall over here yeah i’m the
1:06:06 them i wanted to be the us i’m the
1:06:06 them
1:06:10 that’s hilarious all right that’s a good
1:06:12 spot for us all right that’s it that’s
1:06:13 the pod
1:06:25 hey let’s take a quick break i want to
1:06:26 tell you about a podcast that you could
1:06:28 check out it is called the science of
1:06:30 scaling by mark roberge he was the
1:06:33 founding cero of hubspot and he’s a
1:06:34 guest lecturer at harvard business
1:06:36 school the guy’s smart and he sits down
1:06:38 every week with different sales leaders
1:06:39 from cool companies like klaviyo and
1:06:42 vanta and open ai and he’s asking about
1:06:44 their strategies their tactics and how
1:06:46 they’re growing their companies as you
1:06:47 know head of sales or chief revenue
1:06:49 officer if you’re looking to scale a
1:06:51 company up if you’re a cro or head of
1:06:52 sales just looking to level up in your
1:06:54 career i think a podcast like this
1:06:55 could be great for you listen to the
1:06:57 science of scaling wherever you get
1:06:57 your podcasts.