Marie Forleo on The Mindset Every Entrepreneur Needs to Succeed in Life and Business | YAPClassic

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0:01:42 Yap gang!
0:01:46 In today’s “Yap Classic” episode, we’re diving deep with a powerhouse
0:01:50 who’s about to turn your “I can’t” into “I absolutely can.”
0:01:52 The one and only Marie Forleo.
0:01:56 Imagine transforming your deepest fears into your greatest fuel.
0:01:59 Well, that’s exactly what Marie has done throughout her remarkable journey,
0:02:03 from bartending to building a multi-million dollar media company.
0:02:06 Named by Oprah as a thought-later for the next generation,
0:02:09 Marie isn’t just another motivational speaker or podcaster.
0:02:13 She’s a living, breathing testament to the power of believing,
0:02:16 and as she puts it, that everything is “figure-outable.”
0:02:21 Marie and I spoke back in 2023 about being a multi-passionate entrepreneur,
0:02:22 embracing your good fears,
0:02:26 how to hone and trust your intuition, and so much more.
0:02:29 So get ready to learn how you can turn obstacles into opportunities
0:02:32 and why Marie’s philosophy isn’t just a catchy phrase.
0:02:35 It’s a powerful, actionable approach to life.
0:02:36 So what are you waiting for?
0:02:40 Let’s go figure some ish out with Marie Forleo.
0:02:45 So, Marie, I’d love to take it back to your childhood.
0:02:47 I like to do that on my podcast.
0:02:50 And from my research, I found out that you have essentially
0:02:54 always been a Jill of all trades since you were a little girl.
0:02:56 So can you tell us more about that little girl
0:03:00 who later became what you call a multi-passionate entrepreneur?
0:03:03 Yeah, I grew up in New Jersey like you did.
0:03:07 I remember distinctly as a kid, you know, when adults would say,
0:03:09 “Hey, what do you want to be when you grow up?”
0:03:10 I never had one answer.
0:03:12 I always had like 17.
0:03:14 I want to be a teacher.
0:03:15 I want to be a dancer.
0:03:16 I want to be a writer.
0:03:17 I want to be a businesswoman.
0:03:18 I want to be a model.
0:03:19 I want to be an artist.
0:03:21 It was just like on and on and on.
0:03:25 And as the years went on, some of those answers would change,
0:03:28 but there was never just one answer.
0:03:31 And I didn’t realize that that was even odd or different
0:03:34 until really my college years,
0:03:37 I remember a lot of people seemed to have a very distinct,
0:03:40 definitive vision for what they wanted to do.
0:03:41 You know, I want to be a doctor.
0:03:42 I want to be a lawyer.
0:03:44 I want to be whatever it was.
0:03:46 And I still had like 15 things
0:03:48 that sounded really intriguing to me.
0:03:52 And when I started my career after graduating,
0:03:54 I went to Seton Hall University in South Orange, New Jersey.
0:03:56 My first job was actually on Wall Street
0:03:58 on the floor of the New York Stock Exchange.
0:04:00 And I was pumped.
0:04:02 I was so excited because it’s like
0:04:05 the financial mecca of the universe back in those days.
0:04:07 This is like the late ’90s.
0:04:08 There were actually no chairs on the floor
0:04:10 and I’m a person who has a lot of energy.
0:04:12 So I was like, oh, this is so cool.
0:04:13 I’m gonna be running around all day.
0:04:15 This is amazing.
0:04:17 And after about six months into that job,
0:04:19 I was super grateful for the work
0:04:21 because I’m the first in my family to go to college.
0:04:24 And my parents, they just busted their buns
0:04:26 to be able to even give me an education.
0:04:29 And I took that very, very seriously.
0:04:30 But after about six months,
0:04:32 I started hearing this voice inside that said,
0:04:34 you know, this isn’t who you are.
0:04:35 This isn’t what you’re meant to do.
0:04:36 This isn’t what you’re supposed to be.
0:04:38 And I was like, that’s strange, you know?
0:04:40 Like, ugh, and I tried to kind of push that voice away,
0:04:43 but it kept getting louder and louder and louder
0:04:46 until one day I remember being at work
0:04:49 and starting to feel sick, like physically ill,
0:04:52 started to feel dizzy, like I couldn’t really breathe.
0:04:54 And I said to my boss, I said,
0:04:56 hey, can I just run out and get a coffee real fast?
0:04:58 It was at a kind of slower time during the days.
0:04:59 Like, yeah, no problem.
0:05:02 So I left and I didn’t go to get coffee.
0:05:04 I made a beeline to the nearest church
0:05:07 and I sat on the steps and I cried.
0:05:10 I cried my eyes out because I felt like such a loser
0:05:12 because I knew logically and intellectually
0:05:16 that I was so, I was so grateful to have work,
0:05:18 which included a steady paycheck.
0:05:19 It included health benefits.
0:05:22 I felt like I was doing good by my family,
0:05:24 but at the same time, the truth was I was miserable
0:05:26 and I felt like I was dying a slow death.
0:05:30 And I didn’t know how to reconcile those two things.
0:05:32 The first signal I got from above was actually,
0:05:34 it said, call your dad.
0:05:36 And back in those days, Halle,
0:05:37 I still had, it was like flip phone days.
0:05:41 So I took the flip phone out of my like dark green jacket.
0:05:43 That’s what all the traders had.
0:05:45 And I call my dad and I was crying.
0:05:46 I was like crying the ugly cry
0:05:48 where like there’s knots coming out of your nose
0:05:50 and you just can’t breathe.
0:05:53 And I was like, dad, I’m so sorry, I’m a man.
0:05:56 And when I finally shut up and took a breath,
0:05:58 he’s like, Rie, stop.
0:06:00 He’s like, you’ve been working since you were nine years old.
0:06:02 I’m not worried about you figuring out
0:06:03 how to keep a roof over your head.
0:06:05 But he’s like, here’s the secret to life.
0:06:08 You’re gonna be working for at least the next 40 or 50 years.
0:06:10 You have got to find something you love.
0:06:12 And if going to work every day at this place
0:06:14 makes you this sick that you ran out
0:06:16 and you’re crying in the middle of the day at the church,
0:06:19 like you can quit, you’ll do what you did,
0:06:20 you’ll bartend, you’ll figure it out,
0:06:22 but you need to find something you love.
0:06:25 And Halle, that was like such a huge permission slip for me
0:06:27 because I realized in that moment
0:06:31 while my dad didn’t tell me how to find something I loved,
0:06:33 he gave me permission to do so
0:06:37 and really reinforced the fact that livelihood needs to,
0:06:41 not fully, but finding something that genuinely aligns
0:06:45 with your strengths and your skills is vital for all of us.
0:06:47 And so the only clues I had really was that
0:06:49 I was always a super creative child
0:06:51 to one of those 17 things that I always wanted to be
0:06:52 was an artist.
0:06:54 So I had this, I used to paint, I used to draw,
0:06:56 I thought maybe I wanted to be an animator for Disney,
0:06:58 but I also had a real passion around small business.
0:07:00 My dad was a small business owner.
0:07:01 And so I was fascinated with business and money
0:07:04 and that kind of aspect of life too.
0:07:06 And so I said to myself, okay, I have these two sides,
0:07:07 what do I do with them?
0:07:08 And the first idea that came to mind
0:07:11 was actually the world of magazine publishing.
0:07:15 There’s the ad side, which is around money and sales,
0:07:17 and then there’s the editorial side, which is very creative.
0:07:19 And so I went to a temp agency in New York City
0:07:21 and I said, I want to work in magazines,
0:07:23 I don’t care which magazine, I don’t care where it is,
0:07:25 just get me any position.
0:07:28 I’ll be like the lowly assistant, I don’t care.
0:07:32 And so they placed me as an ad assistant at Gourmet Magazine.
0:07:35 It’s a part of Condonass Publications back in the day.
0:07:36 And I remember I was like, oh, this is awesome.
0:07:39 My old environment, 99.9% men.
0:07:41 This new environment, it was a lot more mixed and balanced.
0:07:43 I was like, this is really cool.
0:07:45 My boss was a woman and then also my big boss,
0:07:47 the publisher, was also this like incredible woman.
0:07:49 I was like, oh, this is great, I’ve never seen this before.
0:07:52 And after about six months in that job,
0:07:54 the same voice came back.
0:07:56 It started small, like Marie, this isn’t who you are,
0:07:57 this isn’t what you’re supposed to do,
0:07:58 this isn’t what you’re supposed to be.
0:08:00 And I was like, what is going on?
0:08:02 Like, what’s wrong with me?
0:08:03 Where’s this voice coming from?
0:08:05 Like, I really want to work.
0:08:06 I really want to earn money.
0:08:08 I really want to contribute.
0:08:11 But I couldn’t stand going to an office every day.
0:08:13 And so logically, I was like, okay,
0:08:14 let me just step back here
0:08:16 and try and look at my situation objectively.
0:08:18 Wall Street, money, money, money.
0:08:21 Ad sales, more money, like numbers.
0:08:24 Maybe I’ve like leaned too heavy into the business side.
0:08:26 Maybe I’ve really been starving my creative self.
0:08:29 So I said, okay, went to HR and said, look,
0:08:31 if you have any position at any magazine
0:08:34 on the editorial side, I’ll take it.
0:08:35 I don’t care if I’ll take a pay cut.
0:08:36 It’s a lateral move.
0:08:39 It’s a down move, just any opportunity, I’ll take it.
0:08:42 So they found me a position at Madam Mazzelle,
0:08:44 which was a women’s fashion magazine,
0:08:45 editorial side fashion department.
0:08:47 I was like, oh my God, this has got to be it.
0:08:49 I’m going to be working with designers.
0:08:50 I’m going to be seeing new products
0:08:52 and be helping with layouts, photo shoots.
0:08:54 This is amazing.
0:08:56 And for the first couple of months, it was really cool.
0:08:57 It was novel.
0:08:58 I learned all kinds of new things,
0:09:00 different environment, amazing.
0:09:03 Of course, within, I don’t know, four or five months,
0:09:05 the voices came back again.
0:09:06 Hala, this time I was like,
0:09:09 there is something wrong with me.
0:09:10 Like I feel broken.
0:09:13 Do I have some kind of cognitive like dysfunction
0:09:15 where I can’t commit to anything?
0:09:18 All of my friends are getting raises, getting married,
0:09:20 starting to like build their whole lives.
0:09:22 And here I am years after graduation,
0:09:24 just wanting to quit my next job.
0:09:26 Like nothing was making sense.
0:09:28 And I felt so terrified.
0:09:30 I felt like such a loser.
0:09:31 It was awful.
0:09:34 And there was one day at work when I was on the internet
0:09:37 and I discovered this article.
0:09:39 And it was about a new profession at the time.
0:09:40 It’s about 1999.
0:09:42 The new profession was called coaching.
0:09:44 You have to get that in the late 90s,
0:09:46 nobody had heard of coaching.
0:09:48 Like this was like ground baking, right?
0:09:50 And I remember reading that article
0:09:53 and it was as though a Christmas tree
0:09:54 lit up inside of me.
0:09:56 It was as though the clouds parted
0:09:57 and little angels came out.
0:10:00 And I was like, oh, like this is what you’re supposed to do.
0:10:04 But at the same time, you know, I was 23 years old
0:10:06 and the mean voice in my head said, what are you?
0:10:07 Are you kidding me?
0:10:08 You’re 23.
0:10:10 Who the heck’s gonna hire a 23 year old life coach?
0:10:12 You haven’t even lived life yet.
0:10:14 You’re in piles and piles of debt.
0:10:15 You can’t seem to hold down a job.
0:10:17 This is gonna be one more thing you fail at.
0:10:19 So I had that going on.
0:10:22 But I couldn’t deny that in my body
0:10:25 and my intuition told me that there was something there
0:10:27 that I was meant to follow.
0:10:28 And I signed up on the spot
0:10:31 for a three year coach training program.
0:10:33 I was doing that at night on the weekends,
0:10:34 kept my magazine job during the day.
0:10:37 And then I got a call from the HR department
0:10:39 and they had a promotion for me
0:10:43 to go move up bigger paycheck, better position
0:10:45 to be a part of Vogue magazine,
0:10:47 arguably one of the top fashion magazines in the world.
0:10:48 And that was my fork in the road.
0:10:51 Do I stay on the safe path with the paycheck
0:10:53 and the health benefits and like a career
0:10:55 that people actually understand what the hell it is
0:10:58 or do I quit and do this weird ass life coaching thing
0:11:00 that no one has ever heard of?
0:11:02 I have no idea how to even turn it into a business
0:11:05 and it sounds ridiculous when I say it out loud.
0:11:06 So I chose that path.
0:11:09 I gave up my job and I went back to bartending
0:11:12 and waiting tables, which I did all throughout college.
0:11:14 And I figured out how to build a coaching practice
0:11:15 during the day.
0:11:16 So that’s kind of the through line
0:11:20 of being a multi-passionate kid, not knowing what that was
0:11:22 to kind of getting me to the place where, you know
0:11:24 and I’ll pause because I’m sure you have other questions
0:11:26 that we can kind of take it all the way through.
0:11:28 – Yeah, I’m going to dig deep on all of that.
0:11:30 This was such a great overview of your story
0:11:31 and it’s super inspirational.
0:11:34 So a question that I have for you,
0:11:36 let’s stick with you being 23 years old,
0:11:38 deciding that you want to be a life coach
0:11:40 with basically no life experience, right?
0:11:41 And how did you get the confidence
0:11:43 and when did you actually start getting clients?
0:11:46 Did you wait until you were done with the program?
0:11:48 And how did you know you were good at it
0:11:51 and like starting to build your confidence with it?
0:11:53 – Okay, signing up for that program
0:11:54 felt really significant to me
0:11:56 because I just basically, you know
0:11:58 graduated from school just a few years earlier.
0:12:02 So I was still in that mode of being like, I am a student
0:12:05 like when you want a new skill, you go put yourself
0:12:07 in an environment to gain those skills and capabilities
0:12:11 and everything that they taught and all of the topics
0:12:14 and what we would talk about in terms of communication
0:12:17 in terms of supporting other people, creating frameworks,
0:12:19 understanding how to listen and to ask questions,
0:12:23 those things felt like second nature to me.
0:12:27 They felt like areas where I was so excited to learn
0:12:30 as opposed to things that I went through in college
0:12:31 where it was like, oh, you know
0:12:33 I’m rolling my eyes to get through every topic.
0:12:35 Like there was no resonance there.
0:12:37 So that was my first clue that I was on to something
0:12:39 as I really, really enjoyed learning.
0:12:42 Second part of my coach training was actually
0:12:45 that you should not wait to get what we called
0:12:46 at that time, practice clients.
0:12:49 It was like, hey, just work with people for free.
0:12:52 Like that was kind of a part of how they told you
0:12:54 that you’re gonna build a business and build your confidence
0:12:57 was not to go out there and like pretend
0:12:59 that you’re further along than you are.
0:13:01 But for me, it looked like reaching out
0:13:04 to every single girlfriend that I had.
0:13:06 And because I was bartending and waiting tables
0:13:09 people would always ask me like, hey, what else do you do?
0:13:09 Are you an actress?
0:13:11 I’m like, no dude, I’m a coach.
0:13:13 Like I could actually help you reach a goal
0:13:14 or set a strategy or do this.
0:13:17 And so I was just absolutely shameless
0:13:20 about asking people if I could work with them for free.
0:13:23 Like I just did everything I possibly could.
0:13:26 And in that process, was it uncomfortable?
0:13:29 Yeah, but I had failed at so many other things.
0:13:31 And that was so much more painful
0:13:33 than actually trying to do something
0:13:34 that I really believed in,
0:13:37 that it gave me the motivation to just put myself out there.
0:13:39 And then the worst thing that people could say was, no.
0:13:41 And I was like, that’s not that big of a deal.
0:13:42 – Yeah.
0:13:43 – It was through that experience
0:13:46 of just continuing to work through my fear
0:13:47 and my embarrassment.
0:13:50 And then when I started getting people results
0:13:51 and how they’re like, wow,
0:13:53 I feel so much better after our conversations.
0:13:55 So that started to kind of fill the well of like,
0:13:56 oh, I could do this.
0:13:58 Like this is awesome.
0:14:00 And it didn’t happen overnight.
0:14:01 It took me a very long time,
0:14:03 but that’s kind of how the process started.
0:14:04 – Yeah.
0:14:05 The other question that I have
0:14:07 is in terms of this dream job, like you said,
0:14:09 Vogue is like the pinnacle of the fashion world, right?
0:14:11 Everybody wants to work in Vogue, especially back then.
0:14:13 It was like such a huge deal.
0:14:15 And so you were at this fork in the road.
0:14:19 You had to make a decision to go after this risky thing
0:14:21 that you had no idea how it was gonna pan out,
0:14:24 ended up being a great decision.
0:14:25 What was your thought process around that?
0:14:27 I know that you have a 10-year test
0:14:29 that you talk about in terms of making decisions.
0:14:31 I’d love to hear how you came about making that decision.
0:14:35 – So I didn’t realize the 10-year test until a few years later
0:14:36 and we’ll unpack what that concept is
0:14:37 and how people can use it.
0:14:38 ‘Cause I think it’s actually,
0:14:41 it’s so helpful for any of us no matter what your age is,
0:14:43 no matter what stage of life you’re in.
0:14:46 That decision in terms of not saying yes to Vogue
0:14:50 was a very body-led, intuition-led decision.
0:14:51 Here’s what I mean by that.
0:14:54 Because I had had that experience on Wall Street
0:14:56 where going to the same place every single day
0:14:59 started making me feel like I was dying a slow death
0:15:01 and then I quit that job and got out of it.
0:15:03 And then I went through a similar thing
0:15:04 when I was at Gourmet Magazine
0:15:06 where it was like I respected all the people
0:15:08 that I worked for, I appreciated them,
0:15:10 I was grateful to have a job,
0:15:12 but I couldn’t deny that every single day it was like,
0:15:14 I can’t do this for the rest of my life.
0:15:16 I don’t wanna climb this corporate ladder,
0:15:17 like what’s going on?
0:15:19 So it was a very visceral feeling.
0:15:22 And then to have that a third time
0:15:23 when I was at Mademoiselle
0:15:26 and then to have this incredible opportunity
0:15:28 for a promotion come to me
0:15:31 and everything, every single cell in my body
0:15:33 was screaming no.
0:15:36 I don’t even feel like it was a decision,
0:15:39 it was something I had to do.
0:15:41 – Yeah, and I’ll ask another question
0:15:42 and I think we’ll help everybody understand.
0:15:44 So there’s good fear and bad fear, right?
0:15:46 There’s the fear and you know you should,
0:15:48 like when I feel fear, I’m like, I gotta do it.
0:15:50 I gotta just do it, that means I’m gonna grow,
0:15:52 I’m gonna learn and that’s how I accomplish
0:15:53 a lot of the things that I’m scared of.
0:15:56 I know if I feel fear, I need to just do it,
0:15:58 it means that I’m gonna grow and it’s good for me.
0:16:02 But then sometimes you feel fear and it’s like this like,
0:16:03 oh, this is bad for me
0:16:05 and it’s more of like an intuition gut,
0:16:07 like this must be bad for me
0:16:08 and you shouldn’t do that thing
0:16:10 even though you’re afraid of it.
0:16:12 So how can we tell if we should do something
0:16:13 that we’re afraid of
0:16:16 or if we should actually run away from it?
0:16:19 – Yeah, fear versus intuition, it’s a big thing.
0:16:22 My best strategy that I’ve taught
0:16:25 to probably hundreds of thousands of people at this point
0:16:28 is a really simple thing that anyone can do
0:16:32 whenever you’re faced with an possibility, an opportunity,
0:16:34 something that you’re facing where if you said yes,
0:16:36 you’re like, wow, this decision could change my life
0:16:39 or this opportunity could mean the world to me.
0:16:41 And I think it’s really important for all of us,
0:16:44 especially when we’re starting in a new journey
0:16:47 or when we’re on the early part of our career path
0:16:50 to recognize that our intellect and our ego
0:16:53 often wants to override our intuition.
0:16:54 And so let’s say that you got invited
0:16:56 to go speak at a certain event
0:16:59 or someone wants to make you their business partner
0:17:01 or they’re presenting you with this opportunity
0:17:04 that on paper, maybe there’s a lot of money involved
0:17:05 or there’s a lot of prestige
0:17:08 or everyone else would be like, what are you nuts?
0:17:10 Like, how are you saying no to this?
0:17:14 But yet something inside of you feels like, oh, I don’t know.
0:17:15 So here’s what I do.
0:17:16 I always instruct people
0:17:18 whenever you’re faced with something like that
0:17:20 and you don’t know if it’s like good fear,
0:17:23 meaning the type of fear that you described.
0:17:25 It’s not like the fear of walking in front of a bus
0:17:26 where you’re gonna get killed.
0:17:27 We’re not talking about that.
0:17:28 We’re talking about creative fear
0:17:29 that could keep you small.
0:17:31 And how do you know if it’s like something
0:17:33 you should move through and say yes,
0:17:35 because it’s gonna be a tremendous opportunity
0:17:37 for you to develop skills and move up in the world.
0:17:40 Or if it’s your intuition waving a big neon red flag
0:17:42 going like, don’t do this, you’re gonna eff it up.
0:17:44 It’s gonna just cost you a million things
0:17:46 and it’s gonna take you on the wrong path.
0:17:47 You’re gonna regret it.
0:17:48 So when you think about whatever the opportunity is
0:17:50 or whatever decision is you close your eyes,
0:17:52 you get very, very still
0:17:55 and you wanna get out of your head and tap into your body.
0:17:58 So if it’s helpful, make sure you have no technology around.
0:17:59 If you need to like shake it out
0:18:01 and either go for a walk, go for a run, go for a workout,
0:18:04 something so you can disengage
0:18:06 from the nonstop chatter of the monkey mind
0:18:08 and really start to feel in your body.
0:18:11 So you get really quiet and then you ask yourself,
0:18:16 does the idea of saying yes to this opportunity,
0:18:18 this deal, this possibility,
0:18:22 make me feel expansive or contracted?
0:18:23 Now here’s the deal.
0:18:27 In the nanosecond, when you ask yourself that question
0:18:31 right after, your body has a visceral reaction.
0:18:32 This is super subtle.
0:18:35 So people I think that are involved in athletics,
0:18:36 if you do any type of working out,
0:18:38 you’re probably gonna be able to detect this
0:18:41 a little easier at first, but everybody can do it.
0:18:44 And what you’re feeling for is either a feeling of expansion
0:18:46 and what that can be experienced as
0:18:50 is like maybe your body moving forward in space.
0:18:52 It’s almost like you’re leaning into the sun.
0:18:54 You feel your chest lifted.
0:18:56 There’s maybe tingly sensations inside,
0:18:58 even though maybe it’s scary,
0:19:00 you’re like, whoa, there’s a ton of excitement
0:19:01 or maybe little sparks of joy
0:19:03 or something that just feels
0:19:06 like a visceral experience of expansion.
0:19:07 On the other hand, if you ask yourself like,
0:19:09 does the idea of saying yes to this opportunity
0:19:11 make me feel expansive or contracted?
0:19:14 You might feel something that we could identify as dread.
0:19:16 Maybe there’s a pit in your stomach.
0:19:19 Maybe your physical body starts to pull back in space
0:19:20 or your shoulders hunch over
0:19:24 or your head starts to very subtly say no.
0:19:27 So if you actually ask yourself that question,
0:19:30 take a breath and feel into the answer,
0:19:32 not from your head, but from your body,
0:19:34 that is one of the surest ways
0:19:37 that any single person can get aligned with
0:19:39 their intuition, not their intellect.
0:19:42 Your intellect will often lead you astray
0:19:44 because it’s tied to your ego,
0:19:46 which is tied to status, prestige,
0:19:47 wanting to get ahead, climbing,
0:19:50 and it’s all rooted in fear at the end of the day.
0:19:54 Your intuition is your connection to higher source,
0:19:57 guidance, wisdom, natural knowing,
0:20:00 like innate powers that all of us have
0:20:03 that were just not taught how to access in school.
0:20:05 And I have to say that as you get more successful,
0:20:08 these opportunities are gonna become sexier and sexier
0:20:10 and it’s gonna get harder to say no and harder to say no
0:20:14 and you need to get really good at making these decisions.
0:20:15 Let’s hold that thought
0:20:17 and take a quick break with our sponsors.
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0:21:51 Young and Profiters, I know so many of you
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0:23:27 Yeah, BAM, it’s 2025 and a new year means new opportunities.
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0:25:16 – I’d love to understand the 10 year, yeah, 10 year test.
0:25:18 – The 10 year test, so this was interesting.
0:25:21 So after I had said no to the magazine world,
0:25:23 had gone on this journey to like, okay, let me figure out
0:25:25 how the hell to build a coaching business,
0:25:27 bartending, waiting tables about seven days a week
0:25:29 and was doing my coaching business during the day.
0:25:31 And so we all know this.
0:25:33 Like one of the things that any one of us needs to do
0:25:35 or we learn that we have to do
0:25:37 is kind of have an elevator pitch.
0:25:39 Or when someone asks you about your business
0:25:40 or what you do for your career,
0:25:42 you’re supposed to have like a really good answer.
0:25:44 And I remember at the bar when people would ask me,
0:25:46 so like what else do you do?
0:25:49 Oftentimes when I talked about being a life coach,
0:25:53 it would feel really narrow and limiting
0:25:55 and like I wasn’t telling the full story.
0:25:58 Even though I really loved what I did,
0:26:02 the truth was I had all of these different other passions
0:26:04 as well that I was starting to explore.
0:26:07 So for example, I loved spirituality, I loved writing,
0:26:08 I loved what at that time,
0:26:12 the early 2000s was the new world of digital business.
0:26:15 Again, YouTube didn’t exist, podcast didn’t exist yet.
0:26:17 It was blogs and email and e-books
0:26:19 and like different things that were brand new
0:26:20 and mind blowing.
0:26:25 And I also loved hip hop and dance and music.
0:26:26 And even though I don’t have any formal training,
0:26:29 it was like something that was such a passion for me.
0:26:32 And I would go to classes here in New York City
0:26:34 and I would go to a place called Crunch
0:26:36 because they had, first of all, I had a gym membership.
0:26:40 They had amazing dance teachers and amazing dance classes
0:26:41 and I loved it.
0:26:44 And I remember just going to classes so often going like,
0:26:47 wow, I actually think this should be a part of my path
0:26:50 or part of my career, but it doesn’t make sense
0:26:53 because I’m supposed to be focused on life coaching.
0:26:55 I’m already bartending and waiting tables seven nights a week.
0:26:57 Like, how am I going to do all these things?
0:27:00 And so I remember like having these fantasies
0:27:04 about being a dancer and about having a career in this world.
0:27:07 But I would always never give myself permission to do it
0:27:08 because I was like, oh, I’m supposed to focus.
0:27:11 All the success books say you have to niche down
0:27:12 and pick one thing and be the best in the world
0:27:14 so they can’t ignore you.
0:27:16 But the truth was I couldn’t do that.
0:27:17 It wasn’t advice that worked for me.
0:27:21 And so this opportunity came up to actually audition
0:27:25 to teach at Crunch and to kind of take my passion
0:27:26 for this thing to the next level.
0:27:28 And I remember sitting down and thinking to myself,
0:27:29 should I do this?
0:27:32 Is this like the stupidest thing ever?
0:27:32 You know what I mean?
0:27:34 Am I going to just get distracted,
0:27:36 slow down my coaching career,
0:27:38 spend even more time bartending and waiting tables
0:27:39 because I’m not making that much money?
0:27:40 That’s when I came up with the 10 year test.
0:27:43 I was about 25 or 26 at the time.
0:27:47 In the dance world, to start out at 25 or 26,
0:27:49 you are over the hill.
0:27:52 You’re practically a great grandparent
0:27:55 because most people as professional dancers,
0:27:57 they start taking class when they’re like three or four
0:28:00 and they’re in these recitals and everything
0:28:02 and they’re professional dancers going on tour
0:28:05 and music videos by the time they’re like 15, 16, 17.
0:28:06 You know what, like that’s their peak.
0:28:07 And then in their mid 20s,
0:28:09 they’re kind of moving into a different zone
0:28:10 or something like that.
0:28:13 Anyway, that was my understanding of that world.
0:28:16 So to start dancing with no formal training
0:28:18 at 26 or 27 sounded crazy.
0:28:20 So I sat myself down and I said, okay, look,
0:28:21 you love this thing so much.
0:28:23 You love music, you love hip hop, you love dance.
0:28:26 If you imagine yourself, you’re 25 right now,
0:28:29 if you imagine yourself 10 years in the future,
0:28:32 looking back and realizing you didn’t go for this,
0:28:34 you didn’t actually audition to teach at crunch.
0:28:37 You didn’t give this any sort of space or attention.
0:28:39 Are you going to regret it?
0:28:42 And when I closed my eyes and imagined myself at 35,
0:28:44 10 years into the future, I was like, oh my God,
0:28:48 it would be one of the biggest regrets of my life.
0:28:51 And that leaning into my future
0:28:53 and trying on a perspective of future me
0:28:56 is the 10 year test and anyone can do it.
0:28:57 Now, if I would have gotten the answer like,
0:28:59 no, I really wouldn’t give a shit,
0:29:01 then I probably wouldn’t have went on an audition,
0:29:06 but I did audition and I wound up having this extraordinary
0:29:09 career simultaneously to building my coaching practice
0:29:11 where I was one of the world’s first elite
0:29:13 Nike dance athletes and I got to teach hip hop
0:29:18 and salsa and house and all these different dance flavors
0:29:20 all around the world.
0:29:22 And these incredible experiences
0:29:23 that would have never happened
0:29:25 if I didn’t do that 10 year test
0:29:27 and get out of a space of fear thinking
0:29:29 that it was like too late at 25.
0:29:31 And again, I know how ridiculous that sounds,
0:29:34 but in that world contextually, it made sense.
0:29:35 – I love that.
0:29:37 So as I was researching about your story,
0:29:39 there were some things that I realized.
0:29:41 So in high school, you try out for the cheerleading team
0:29:43 for many years, when you finally made the team,
0:29:45 you became captain, right?
0:29:46 – Yeah.
0:29:47 – Then you’re the first to go to college,
0:29:49 you graduated valedictorian.
0:29:51 Then as an adult, you just told the story,
0:29:53 you’re a dancer, no professional training,
0:29:55 started way later than everybody else,
0:29:57 then you become one of the first like elite dancers
0:29:58 for Nike, right?
0:30:03 So how do you dominate every single random thing
0:30:05 that you decide to do?
0:30:06 – It’s a really a personality type.
0:30:08 I’m very similar, always president of everything,
0:30:10 always captain of everything, doubling in this,
0:30:12 this and that, figuring it out.
0:30:14 We’ll talk about that in a little bit.
0:30:17 But I just want to understand like your personality,
0:30:18 the personality that it takes for somebody
0:30:21 to always want to compete and win and be number one,
0:30:23 which sounds like it’s very much your personality
0:30:25 based on what I learned about you.
0:30:27 What would you say are the pros and cons
0:30:29 of this type of personality?
0:30:32 – One of them is that I’m willing to dive in
0:30:34 and not be good at stuff.
0:30:37 Like everything I’ve ever tried when I start out,
0:30:40 I’m not good at all, like terrible.
0:30:42 I remember all those times trying out
0:30:45 for the cheerleading team and just being like so crestfallen
0:30:47 because I was so rejected.
0:30:48 It was like, these arms aren’t straight
0:30:49 and you don’t have this, no, no, no.
0:30:51 I was just like, all right, I’m gonna try better next time.
0:30:53 And I just put myself on video camera to learn to go,
0:30:55 okay, oh wow, I see how my arms are.
0:30:57 Oh, oh wow, Jesus, I’m a mess.
0:30:58 Okay, great.
0:31:00 And I think the same thing with coaching,
0:31:01 I think the same thing with business.
0:31:04 Like I’m not super fast.
0:31:06 So a lot of people, I think in the world,
0:31:09 sometimes people have these incredible opportunities
0:31:10 where they’re like, they have,
0:31:11 I don’t know if it’s overnight success,
0:31:13 but they’re like fast learners.
0:31:14 And I don’t think I’m like that.
0:31:17 I think also one of the pros to this type of personality
0:31:20 is like, if I really love something,
0:31:22 I’m going to just go for it and dive in
0:31:24 and trust that it’ll all work out.
0:31:27 I think one of the cons of having personalities like we do
0:31:29 is you can sometimes be your own worst enemy
0:31:30 and you can overwork.
0:31:34 I think perfectionism is something to really watch out for.
0:31:36 Like there’s beautiful perfectionism,
0:31:38 which means you have high standards and that’s awesome
0:31:40 because that’s where excellence comes from
0:31:41 and that is outstanding.
0:31:43 And then it can bleed over
0:31:45 into some maladaptive forms of it
0:31:47 where nothing is ever good enough.
0:31:48 You’re never good enough.
0:31:50 You can push yourself into burnout
0:31:52 and you can be really hard on other people too.
0:31:54 So I think those are some of the aspects
0:31:58 where you have to really keep awareness of yourself
0:32:00 and the self punishment and the self torture
0:32:01 that can come with this personality type
0:32:04 is really something to keep an eye out for.
0:32:06 – So I want to ask one last question about your career.
0:32:10 Have you ever heard of the tipping point by Malcolm Gladwell?
0:32:10 – Yes.
0:32:12 – So like basically it’s like the boiling point,
0:32:14 like you reach critical mass
0:32:16 and like everybody knows who you are.
0:32:18 So you are one of my role models in this space.
0:32:20 When I think of like who I want to be
0:32:22 and all these things, I always think of like
0:32:25 you are definitely a name that pops up in my mind.
0:32:28 And it was great to have you as a role model
0:32:30 before I was able to be a big podcaster
0:32:31 and things like that.
0:32:32 So thank you.
0:32:36 And I’m curious to know what point in your career,
0:32:39 like now everybody in this space knows your name.
0:32:40 You’re really recognizable.
0:32:42 One of the top females in this business influencer space.
0:32:44 What do you think was the tipping point
0:32:45 when you’re like everything started
0:32:48 to really just escalate for you?
0:32:50 What was the tipping point?
0:32:52 – It’s a great question.
0:32:53 Two things about this.
0:32:55 One, I don’t know if there was one.
0:32:57 That’s my honest assessment.
0:33:01 And I may not be the best person to decide that
0:33:02 because I’m so in it.
0:33:04 And if you talk to anyone who knows me,
0:33:05 any of my friends and colleagues,
0:33:06 they’ll let you know, even my team.
0:33:09 I am the most heads down person ever.
0:33:13 Like my thing is I just show up, I get it done.
0:33:15 And then I’m either off,
0:33:17 meaning I’m completely unplugged
0:33:20 and kind of into another space in my life.
0:33:22 And then when I come back, I go heads down again.
0:33:24 So because I’ve been doing this now
0:33:26 and it’s been 22 years, right?
0:33:28 So it’s a really long time.
0:33:30 And I think going back to the traits,
0:33:34 one of my best traits is my consistency trait.
0:33:37 So when I first started creating content
0:33:38 on a weekly basis,
0:33:39 it was through a newsletter
0:33:41 with the easiest title ever called “Magical Moments.”
0:33:42 It was awesome.
0:33:43 That was the best I could do at that time.
0:33:47 And I would send down a newsletter every week nonstop.
0:33:49 And then actually once I got a puppy,
0:33:51 it was the first dog I ever had in my life, Kuma.
0:33:52 He’s 13 now.
0:33:54 When I got him, I couldn’t blog anymore
0:33:56 because raising a puppy and training a puppy
0:33:57 takes a lot of time.
0:33:59 If anyone listening has ever done it,
0:34:00 you know it’s a lot of work.
0:34:02 And I was like, oh, I need to just turn on my computer
0:34:04 because I remembered from my teaching fitness days,
0:34:06 I was like, oh, I can easily look at a camera.
0:34:08 And so then it became MarieTV.
0:34:11 And I’m saying all this because the consistency
0:34:14 and the momentum that has built over time,
0:34:15 there wasn’t one moment.
0:34:17 I think it’s the long game
0:34:20 that has allowed me to create
0:34:23 what for me has been a really beautiful experience
0:34:25 of business and a beautiful experience
0:34:27 of being able to connect with people.
0:34:29 There were certainly beautiful moments.
0:34:30 And I hope that there’s many more,
0:34:33 but I don’t think that there was one that really did it.
0:34:37 It was the relentlessness of commitment
0:34:41 and consistency that I think has helped me create
0:34:42 what we have today.
0:34:43 – It’s totally amazing.
0:34:46 And it’s amazing how you sort of had it as a side hustle,
0:34:48 but it was something you were still doing consistently.
0:34:50 You had other things that were making you money
0:34:52 because that thing wasn’t making you money yet,
0:34:54 but you kept going at it, getting better at it,
0:34:55 learning at it.
0:34:57 And it’s really all this stuff is a long game.
0:34:58 Same thing with me in this podcast.
0:35:00 I’ve been working at it for five years.
0:35:02 People see me now, but it’s like,
0:35:04 I’ve been doing more than five years.
0:35:05 I had a blog before this.
0:35:08 It’s been like a 12 year journey to get here, you know?
0:35:09 Of all these different experiences
0:35:11 in the same sort of path,
0:35:13 even though I was doing other things
0:35:15 to sustain myself all the while,
0:35:18 but it’s like sticking on one thing longterm
0:35:19 is super important.
0:35:21 So let’s talk about everything is figureoutable.
0:35:23 So you have a book that was released in 2019.
0:35:24 This is one of my favorite quotes.
0:35:26 I actually have it in our, yeah, I have a company.
0:35:28 I have it in our core values.
0:35:31 One of our phrases is everything is figureoutable.
0:35:34 So what was the genesis of this phrase?
0:35:38 – So this phrase is really, it’s the mantra I live my life by.
0:35:41 I feel like if my DNA could be words, that would be it.
0:35:43 This actually is something beautiful.
0:35:47 It was such a gift that was given to me by my mom.
0:35:50 So my mom is this really interesting character.
0:35:51 She is, she’s 75 now.
0:35:52 She’s still with us.
0:35:53 She’s awesome.
0:35:55 She’s super spicy and funny.
0:35:57 She is about five, four.
0:35:59 She looks like June Cleaver,
0:36:01 which is this character from the fifties.
0:36:03 This like leave it to beaver show.
0:36:06 Very, very kind of pure and all-American looking,
0:36:08 but she has the tenacity of a bulldog
0:36:10 and she curses like a truck driver.
0:36:12 She is so spicy.
0:36:14 And she actually grew up the daughter
0:36:16 of two alcoholic parents in Newark, New Jersey.
0:36:18 So she really learned by necessity
0:36:20 how to stretch a dollar bill around the block
0:36:22 like five times, super frugal.
0:36:24 And she had made a promise to herself
0:36:25 that when she grew up,
0:36:27 that somehow she was gonna find a way to better life.
0:36:29 And I remember sitting around our house in New Jersey
0:36:33 on Sundays and we would clip out coupons together
0:36:34 ’cause my mom was like,
0:36:35 I’m gonna teach you all the different ways
0:36:37 that we save money.
0:36:39 And the other thing that gave her so much joy
0:36:42 was the fact that brands back in the day,
0:36:44 I don’t even know if they still do this,
0:36:47 back in the day, when you kind of were loyal to a brand,
0:36:50 you could cut out what was known as a proof of purchase.
0:36:53 So those were on the back of like cereal boxes
0:36:55 or milk cartons or orange juice cartons.
0:36:58 And if you saved up enough of them, you can mail them in
0:37:01 and they would send you something like a free recipe book
0:37:04 or a whole set of utensils or something like that.
0:37:07 And one of my mom’s favorite possessions in the whole world
0:37:10 was this little AM/FM transistor radio
0:37:13 that she got from Tropicana Orange Juice for free.
0:37:15 So this little radio looked like an orange.
0:37:18 It had this cute red and white straw sticking out of the side.
0:37:19 That’s the antenna.
0:37:21 And my mom loves music too.
0:37:23 And so I remember as a kid,
0:37:25 anytime that I needed to find my mom,
0:37:28 like somewhere around our yard or somewhere around the house,
0:37:31 all I had to do was listen for the sound
0:37:32 of this tinny little radio
0:37:35 of her like music blaring out of it.
0:37:38 And one day I remember walking home from school
0:37:40 and I’m approaching the house and I hear her tunes.
0:37:42 It was like a Donna summer or something.
0:37:45 I get closer and the music is like coming
0:37:46 from a strange orientation.
0:37:49 It was actually coming from way up high.
0:37:50 I was caught off guard and I look up
0:37:54 and I see my mom perched precariously
0:37:56 on the roof of our two story house.
0:37:57 I don’t see a ladder.
0:38:00 I don’t see, I just see her like perched up there
0:38:02 with this little orange sitting next to her butt.
0:38:04 And I’m like, mom, are you okay?
0:38:05 What are you doing?
0:38:06 Why do you do it on the roof up there?
0:38:08 And she’s like, Ray, I’m fine.
0:38:09 Don’t worry about it.
0:38:10 She’s like, the roof had a leak.
0:38:12 I called the roofer.
0:38:14 He said it was gonna be at least 500 bucks.
0:38:15 I said, screw that.
0:38:16 There’s some extra asphalt in the garage.
0:38:18 I’m doing it myself.
0:38:19 Super frugal.
0:38:20 I was like, okay, cool.
0:38:22 So another day I come home.
0:38:25 I remember walking through the door and like I hear like,
0:38:28 I’m every woman like in the back
0:38:29 and my mom’s in the bathroom.
0:38:32 I push open the door and there’s like dust particles
0:38:34 all over and there’s pipes sticking out.
0:38:36 Like it looked like a bomb went off.
0:38:36 It was crazy.
0:38:37 And I was like, mom, are you okay?
0:38:38 What’s going on?
0:38:41 She’s like, oh, you know, the caulking was off
0:38:42 and the tiles were cracked.
0:38:44 I didn’t want the bathroom to get moldy.
0:38:47 So I’m retiling everything.
0:38:48 Now you have to get that my mom
0:38:50 is just high school educated, right?
0:38:53 And this is the 1980s.
0:38:54 So we don’t have Google.
0:38:55 We don’t have YouTube.
0:38:56 We don’t have TikTok.
0:38:57 Like we don’t have any of the things
0:38:59 that you could look up how to do stuff.
0:39:01 And so one day it was the fall.
0:39:04 It was getting dark early and I came home from school
0:39:06 and it was already like kind of creepy.
0:39:09 And as I approached my house, something was different.
0:39:12 No lights on and it was totally silent.
0:39:13 And for an Italian American home,
0:39:17 if it’s quiet and dark, this is not a good sign.
0:39:19 So I walk in and I had this pit in my stomach
0:39:20 ’cause I knew something was off
0:39:22 and I’m like, where the hell is my mom?
0:39:23 Where’s the radio?
0:39:25 Like it’s too silent here.
0:39:27 Then all of a sudden I hear these clicks and clacks
0:39:30 like coming out of the kitchen.
0:39:33 I follow the sound and I see my mom hunched over
0:39:35 the kitchen table, looked like an operating room.
0:39:38 There were screwdrivers and like electrical tape
0:39:40 and then in about a dozen pieces,
0:39:43 a completely dismantled Tropicana Orange radio.
0:39:45 I was like, mom, what happened?
0:39:46 Is it broke?
0:39:48 That’s like your favorite thing in the world.
0:39:50 She says to me, she’s like, oh no, everything’s fine.
0:39:51 She’s like the antenna was off
0:39:53 and the dial wasn’t working right.
0:39:55 So I’m just putting it back together.
0:39:57 And I finally thought to ask the question
0:39:58 I should have always asked, which was this.
0:40:02 I said, hey mom, how do you know how to do so many things
0:40:05 that you have never done before?
0:40:07 And there’s nobody showing you how to do it.
0:40:08 And she put down her screwdriver
0:40:09 and she cocked her head to the side.
0:40:11 She said, Ray, what are you talking about?
0:40:14 She’s like, nothing in life is that complicated.
0:40:17 If you roll up your sleeves, you get in there and you do it.
0:40:20 Everything is figureoutable.
0:40:21 And ha, I kid you not.
0:40:24 I was just like, whoa, everything is figureoutable.
0:40:25 What?
0:40:26 Everything is figureoutable.
0:40:28 It’s like that phrase washed over me
0:40:31 and it lodged into my heart so deep
0:40:33 that it became the operating system
0:40:36 through which I lived honestly the rest of my life.
0:40:39 It got me through high school and abusive relationships
0:40:41 and all the BS that most of us go through
0:40:44 getting college and education and rejection.
0:40:45 You know, like all the things.
0:40:48 And there’s not a day that goes by
0:40:50 that I still do not use that phrase
0:40:52 or that we don’t use it in our team and our company
0:40:55 or in some aspect that it doesn’t help me
0:40:56 when the shiitake hits the fan in life.
0:40:58 Cause it does for all of us.
0:41:02 Get myself back into a space of going like less problem solved.
0:41:03 Let’s get creative.
0:41:03 Who can I call?
0:41:05 I may not have all the answers.
0:41:07 I’m not saying that I know how to necessarily figure
0:41:10 everything out, but that it is figureoutable.
0:41:14 We’ll be right back after a quick break from our sponsors.
0:41:16 Hey, Young and Profiters.
0:41:19 These days I find myself with no time.
0:41:22 I’m juggling work, dating, everything else
0:41:23 that life throws in my way.
0:41:27 And honestly, healthy eating has fallen to the wayside.
0:41:29 There’s just never enough time to plan, shop, cook,
0:41:31 clean up after cooking.
0:41:34 And what happens is that I end up ordering all these groceries
0:41:36 being optimistic because I want to eat healthy
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0:41:41 So I knew that I had to make a change
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0:42:52 If you want all the links quick and easy,
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0:42:59 Hello, young and profitors.
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0:46:05 – I love that.
0:46:08 And I know that your mom,
0:46:11 she gave you this everything for your audible mantra,
0:46:13 which seemed to be work really positive for you.
0:46:14 She also had a lot to do
0:46:16 with your money beliefs in general.
0:46:18 Like you said, she was frugal.
0:46:20 And I know that one time you,
0:46:22 I heard you tell a story when you were eight years old.
0:46:25 You saw your mother sobbing on the phone
0:46:27 and basically she told you something
0:46:29 that was advice that you took he to,
0:46:31 which was a real big benefit in your life,
0:46:35 but also led to some overdoing it in some ways.
0:46:36 So tell us about that.
0:46:39 – Yeah, so it was, I was around eight
0:46:42 when my parents got divorced.
0:46:47 And so essentially it was never about like drugs
0:46:50 or infidelity or anything like that.
0:46:54 It was always, my parents fighting was always about money
0:46:55 and they’re not being enough of it.
0:46:58 And so when the divorce finally came final one day,
0:46:59 when like the papers were done,
0:47:02 I remember watching my mom in the kitchen
0:47:04 and my mom’s a little woman
0:47:07 and she had probably lost, I don’t know, 15 to 20 pounds
0:47:09 to be perfectly honest with you, she was like a skeleton.
0:47:11 And she, this was back when there was landlines.
0:47:14 So she had the phone like wrapped around her hand
0:47:17 and blood was drained out of it.
0:47:18 And she’s on the phone crying to her mother,
0:47:20 my grandmother, who was in Florida.
0:47:21 And she’s like, I have nothing.
0:47:22 I have nothing.
0:47:23 Do you understand that?
0:47:24 I have nothing.
0:47:26 And then she hung up the phone
0:47:29 and she leaned down, bent down, ’cause I was small.
0:47:31 And she put her hands on my shoulders
0:47:34 and her forehead was next to mine and she shook me.
0:47:38 She said, Marie, don’t be stupid like I was.
0:47:39 Do you see what I’m going through right now?
0:47:42 Don’t ever let a man control your money.
0:47:45 Don’t ever let anyone control your destiny.
0:47:46 Don’t be stupid like me.
0:47:47 I need you to grow up.
0:47:48 I need you to be independent.
0:47:50 I need you to take care of yourself.
0:47:52 Don’t be stupid like I was.
0:47:53 And I’m not kidding you, Holly.
0:47:56 Like at eight, first of all, I was terrified
0:47:59 because I had never seen my mom that distraught.
0:48:01 Second of all, my dad’s an amazing person.
0:48:04 So I was heartbroken because every kid, most of us, right?
0:48:06 We just want our families to be together.
0:48:09 And so I formed this little understanding,
0:48:11 this little equation, which was this,
0:48:14 was that not having enough money
0:48:16 means that you’re gonna lose love.
0:48:19 Not having enough money means that families
0:48:20 are gonna get broken up.
0:48:23 And not having enough money is a thing that I never want.
0:48:25 And I promised myself that I was gonna grow up
0:48:29 and somehow figure out how to make so much money
0:48:31 that it would never take away love again.
0:48:32 And I remember even as a kid,
0:48:35 hearing other stories from other kids I knew
0:48:37 because their families were getting divorced too.
0:48:40 And so I had these fantasies of like,
0:48:41 oh, well, I’m gonna earn so much
0:48:45 that I can help other people with enough money as well.
0:48:47 And so that was kind of a weird but strange
0:48:51 and amazing thing that got planted in me
0:48:56 that grew into a desire, a hunger,
0:48:59 a commitment to be financially free.
0:49:01 It definitely was not a straight line
0:49:04 because like I was sharing earlier in this conversation,
0:49:07 I got myself in piles and piles of debt after school.
0:49:09 So I was certainly not good at it.
0:49:10 I think for most of us,
0:49:14 there’s a lot of mixed messages that we absorb around money,
0:49:16 whether that is from our family, from society,
0:49:20 our friends, the media, a lot of mixed signals
0:49:21 about whether we should want it.
0:49:22 Is it okay to want it?
0:49:23 You shouldn’t have it.
0:49:24 Are you spiritual?
0:49:25 Are you a good person?
0:49:29 It’s like so much stuff that most of us need to work through.
0:49:31 And but that was the genesis for me
0:49:33 of having that seed planted of going like, nope,
0:49:35 I don’t know how, but I’m gonna figure out
0:49:38 how to earn so much is not gonna be a problem.
0:49:39 – And eventually you figured that out.
0:49:43 You started becoming really successful, making money.
0:49:46 And I heard you on Dear Gabby and other podcasts
0:49:48 where you were talking to her about the fact
0:49:51 that at one point you were just sort of overdoing it.
0:49:54 You were a stress ball all the time,
0:49:56 running around like a chicken with your head cut off.
0:49:58 Nothing was ever enough.
0:49:59 You would always say like,
0:50:01 oh, rest in two weeks, I’ll rest in two weeks.
0:50:04 I have to say, I feel like I’m in that now,
0:50:05 running a team of 60 people.
0:50:07 And I feel like I’m just three times a week
0:50:09 working until midnight still and all these things.
0:50:11 I know it’s not good for me,
0:50:14 but I want to understand what point was the turning point
0:50:17 for you when you’re like, I need to make a change.
0:50:18 Yeah, well, a couple of things.
0:50:20 One, should you be interested?
0:50:22 And again, this is only an invitation,
0:50:23 but if you’re ever like, you know what,
0:50:24 I’m kind of done with this.
0:50:27 Like I still want to be wildly successful,
0:50:29 but I don’t want to drive myself into the ground.
0:50:32 You need to consider coming to do time genius.
0:50:33 It’s amazing.
0:50:36 It’ll keep all of your best qualities and kind of let go,
0:50:38 at least for me, of some of the ones
0:50:40 that have grown to be destructive.
0:50:43 So for me, probably one of the biggest wake-up calls
0:50:47 was actually in 2020,
0:50:50 because I had been really going at it hard for a while.
0:50:51 And it was like a fish in water.
0:50:52 It’s like, I don’t know any different.
0:50:53 This is just me.
0:50:54 This is what I do.
0:50:56 This is how I do it.
0:50:58 And there was never a problem with it.
0:51:00 It certainly wasn’t a burden because I love my work.
0:51:03 And it showed up a few times in my relationship
0:51:06 where with Josh, my partner, we’ve been together 20 years,
0:51:08 where, you know, he’s like, hey, working a lot.
0:51:10 And I’m like, yeah, this is what it takes, dude.
0:51:11 Like this is what it’s about.
0:51:14 And so we’ve definitely had sparring issues over time.
0:51:16 And I think I dialed it down a little bit
0:51:19 because the truth is my relationship needed more space
0:51:21 and needed more attention if it was gonna thrive.
0:51:25 But in 2020, I started having all of these weird
0:51:29 and unusual pains in my body, which I had never had before.
0:51:32 And I, you know, had always taken really good care
0:51:34 of my health and as conscious as I can be
0:51:37 as a dancer and as a fitness person, you know,
0:51:39 movement is part of my life.
0:51:42 But things just started to fall apart.
0:51:44 And I remember getting all of my blood work done
0:51:48 and a doctor said to me after she reviewed my blood work,
0:51:49 she’s like, Marie, it is a miracle
0:51:51 you’re able to get up every day.
0:51:53 Like your adrenals are shot.
0:51:57 Then we discovered all of these tumors inside of me,
0:52:00 including one, the size of a grapefruit growing outside
0:52:03 of my uterus, pushing all of the other organs out of place.
0:52:07 And it turns out I had to have an urgent hysterectomy
0:52:09 to make the pain stop.
0:52:14 And so after that surgery, the recovery is like you’re,
0:52:17 you can’t really do much for like six to eight weeks.
0:52:19 It’s just like your body needs to heal.
0:52:20 It’s a major surgery.
0:52:21 You cannot work out.
0:52:23 You can walk and you walk gently,
0:52:25 but you just have to really chill.
0:52:26 And I’m not kidding you.
0:52:29 I have never taken six weeks off in my life.
0:52:32 I started babysitting when I was nine.
0:52:34 I was like, even just the prospect.
0:52:35 I remember even when I heard like, no, no, no,
0:52:37 you’re not gonna be able to do anything for six weeks.
0:52:40 I was like, like, it was like such a record scratch moment.
0:52:44 But what was so cool about that was in the stillness
0:52:48 and in the requirement to just be,
0:52:53 I was able to see how much my patterning of drivenness
0:52:58 had exceeded what was necessary.
0:53:02 And it was though this drive was driving me
0:53:04 rather than me being in control.
0:53:06 And there was just layers of it
0:53:09 that I was like, this is not even productive.
0:53:12 And I am like really about efficiency and productivity.
0:53:14 And I’m like overdoing it in certain areas.
0:53:16 And it’s causing my body to break down,
0:53:18 which is like my sacred vessel in this lifetime.
0:53:20 Like this is nuts, Marie.
0:53:21 You know, and you can’t see things
0:53:24 or learn the lessons until they’re ready for you.
0:53:26 But there was something in that stillness
0:53:29 that gave me a perspective that quite frankly,
0:53:32 I just didn’t have before because I was so,
0:53:36 it was such a habit to go so fast and so hard
0:53:38 that I didn’t know there was even another option.
0:53:40 – Yeah, and you love your job so much.
0:53:41 When you love what you’re doing,
0:53:43 it’s so easy to just keep going, keep going, keep going
0:53:45 and not even pay attention
0:53:47 to how your body is reacting or feeling.
0:53:49 So like you said, you’ve got this new course,
0:53:51 new wish course called Time Genius.
0:53:52 I definitely wanna take it.
0:53:54 – You gotta come take it, you’ll love it.
0:53:58 – Yeah, and you talk about rejecting the time stress trap.
0:54:00 Can you explain what that is?
0:54:03 – In my six weeks and so like I had,
0:54:04 I’ve always been obsessed with productivity
0:54:06 because again, I love what I do.
0:54:06 And I’m always like, well,
0:54:08 how do we maximize our time on earth?
0:54:11 Like how do you get the most out of being here,
0:54:12 the things that you wanna create,
0:54:13 the impact you wanna make,
0:54:14 the different adventures that you wanna have.
0:54:16 So it’s always been a place of interest for me,
0:54:17 a place of study.
0:54:18 And I love studying neuroscience
0:54:21 and I love studying efficiency and effectiveness
0:54:22 and all those beautiful things.
0:54:25 And when I really started to understand
0:54:28 that I was so addicted to like overwhelm
0:54:30 and had put myself in a place of burnout,
0:54:33 I started to recognize that I was like, wait a minute,
0:54:35 this is like two different worlds,
0:54:38 two different paradigms where we’re so inculturated
0:54:41 to believe that if we’re not on our phones 24/7,
0:54:44 if we’re not constantly engaging and creating content
0:54:46 and trying to reach for more and more and more
0:54:47 and bigger and bigger and bigger,
0:54:50 that somehow we’re not hungry enough
0:54:51 or we’re not driven enough.
0:54:54 So I started understanding, I was like,
0:54:55 it basically came to me this concept
0:54:57 of like there’s the world of time stress,
0:54:59 which most of the world is caught in.
0:55:00 Here’s a stat that might blow your mind.
0:55:03 Did you know that on average, right now these days,
0:55:05 the average American will now spend the equivalent
0:55:08 of 44 years of their life staring at screens?
0:55:10 – No, I didn’t know that.
0:55:13 – 44 years of our life, I don’t know about you.
0:55:14 – Mine is like 60 years for sure.
0:55:18 – Yes, but I don’t think the purpose of a human life
0:55:22 is to spend 44 years or 66 years staring at screens.
0:55:25 And just when I started to really do some research
0:55:28 into the stats and I started, I actually asked our audience,
0:55:31 I sent out this survey and I just said,
0:55:33 hey, I’m investigating this topic.
0:55:35 I’m curious if you have any struggles around productivity
0:55:37 or burnout or getting things down or feeling like,
0:55:39 no matter how hard you go, it’s never enough.
0:55:41 And when you’re working, you’re like, oh God,
0:55:42 I really need to rest, but you feel so guilty
0:55:44 for taking rest that you don’t take a rest.
0:55:45 And then when you take a rest, you’re like,
0:55:47 oh, I should be working because I have all these other ideas
0:55:48 and I need to get ahead.
0:55:51 And oh my God, Hala, you don’t even, the responses,
0:55:56 there was like 7,000 in-depth responses in like two days.
0:55:57 It was insane.
0:55:59 And then when I started to look at those responses,
0:56:02 it became so apparent to me that most of the world
0:56:06 was caught trapped in this awful paradigm
0:56:07 that I called time stress,
0:56:09 where you feel like no matter how hard you go,
0:56:11 it’s not hard enough that you can’t take a break,
0:56:14 that you’re lazy if you even wanna sit down and rest
0:56:16 for like five minutes, that no matter what you do,
0:56:20 it’s not enough that you’re starting to feel some anxiety,
0:56:22 some depression, some burnout,
0:56:23 and you feel ashamed about that.
0:56:26 And you feel like that if you take a break or slow down
0:56:27 that everything you’ve worked so hard for
0:56:29 is probably gonna fall apart.
0:56:31 And that’s the world a lot of people are living in
0:56:33 and they’re plastering on smiles and saying,
0:56:35 but I got it, I got it together, I got it together.
0:56:37 Or they feel like they have to hold it together.
0:56:38 They don’t realize that there’s this whole,
0:56:40 their possibility of the paradigm I call being a time genius,
0:56:43 which is where you can actually get all the things
0:56:44 that you wanna get done and then some
0:56:48 and not feel that dread and not run yourself
0:56:51 into the ground and not do things that are ineffective
0:56:55 and not chase these goals or this cultural mandate
0:56:57 for more that honestly is sometimes,
0:56:59 you don’t want everything to grow indefinitely.
0:57:01 Think about cancer cells.
0:57:03 That’s something you don’t want more of.
0:57:06 And so sometimes actually the secret to getting more
0:57:08 out of life of what we really want,
0:57:11 which includes abundance and adventure and success
0:57:14 actually requires us doing less.
0:57:15 That’s not a message we get very often.
0:57:18 But anyway, we could keep talking and I wanna be quiet
0:57:19 ’cause I’m sure you have more questions.
0:57:21 – Yeah, and I think this is especially,
0:57:24 a lot of my audience are small business owners,
0:57:26 entrepreneurs, it’s especially important for us
0:57:28 ’cause as I keep growing my company bigger and bigger,
0:57:31 I have more responsibility in terms of payroll
0:57:32 and clients and this and that.
0:57:33 And sometimes I’m like, what did I do?
0:57:35 Like I could just be rich off my podcast.
0:57:37 (laughing)
0:57:39 All right, so in these last couple of minutes,
0:57:41 I’m gonna ask you a couple of questions at the end
0:57:42 in terms of your secret to profiting life,
0:57:45 but first some actionable tips in terms of time management
0:57:47 and productivity, what are your favorite actionable tips
0:57:49 that you can share with our listeners?
0:57:52 – I would say one is, I know this sounds really basic,
0:57:55 but a lot of people don’t do it is really shift
0:57:58 every notification on every electrical device you have
0:58:00 to the off position, default it to off.
0:58:04 Do not let yourself be interrupted by other people’s ideas,
0:58:05 agendas or notifications.
0:58:08 That includes text messages, that includes Slack,
0:58:11 that includes email, that includes every social platform.
0:58:14 One of the biggest things that crushes our ability
0:58:17 to do deep focused work is interruptions and distractions.
0:58:20 And when you start setting those notifications to off,
0:58:21 like you’re gonna feel a little uncomfortable at first.
0:58:22 You’re like, oh, am I not important?
0:58:24 No one’s reaching out to me, is it too quiet?
0:58:28 But I will tell you, you’ll get your core work done so fast
0:58:31 and then you’ll have so much more space and bandwidth to play
0:58:32 and have fun and interact with people
0:58:35 and have real conversations and not be toast
0:58:36 at the end of your day.
0:58:37 So that’s one thing.
0:58:39 The other thing is I always advise people
0:58:42 to make a success plan, not a to-do list.
0:58:44 So a success plan, it’s not just semantics,
0:58:46 it’s actually the framing that’s really important,
0:58:49 is you take four minutes at the end of your day.
0:58:51 So before you wrap up for the day
0:58:54 and not to wait until five, six, seven, eight o’clock
0:58:55 when your brain’s freaking toast
0:58:56 and you’re running on fumes,
0:58:59 do it like after lunch at like one or two
0:59:00 or something like that.
0:59:02 Take four minutes and map out your success plan
0:59:03 for the following day.
0:59:06 Are there any core meetings that you have to get to?
0:59:08 Is there any place you need to show up and be on time?
0:59:12 And what are the one to three, not 15, not 27,
0:59:16 what are the one to three really high value projects,
0:59:19 tasks, to-dos that you really do need to get done
0:59:21 and have those on that list only?
0:59:24 And a success plan rather than a to-do list,
0:59:28 first of all, it frames you up to have a successful day.
0:59:30 B, you’re able to wake up and hit the ground running
0:59:35 because you know exactly how your ideal day should unfold.
0:59:39 And when you don’t stuff it with 17, 15, 30 things,
0:59:43 you have enough margin to be able to be responsive
0:59:45 to the oshitake moments of life.
0:59:48 The internet fails, technology doesn’t work.
0:59:50 Something happens with a member of your family.
0:59:51 If there’s enough white space in there,
0:59:53 there’s enough margin for you to be able
0:59:54 to not only get your most important tasks done
0:59:57 because you’ve identified what those are in advance,
0:59:58 but there’s enough wiggle room
1:00:00 to be able to not let your life get out of control
1:00:03 or for you to feel out of control dealing with it.
1:00:05 – Yeah, guys, this is such simple advice,
1:00:06 but it will literally change your life.
1:00:09 This is how you make consistent progress day over day
1:00:11 and get shit done when you prioritize your stuff.
1:00:12 You know what you’re supposed to do
1:00:13 that’s gonna actually move the needle
1:00:15 and you don’t get distracted
1:00:17 with the things that other people have on their agendas
1:00:19 in terms of what you should be doing during your day.
1:00:21 So I love that advice.
1:00:24 Marie, the last two things I ask everybody in my podcast
1:00:26 is what is one actionable thing
1:00:28 our young and profitors can do today
1:00:31 to become more profiting tomorrow?
1:00:32 – One thing they can do today
1:00:34 to become more profiting tomorrow.
1:00:37 Well, if you’re a business owner,
1:00:39 you might wanna take a look at expanding
1:00:41 either your prices or your offerings
1:00:44 to offer something that is either a little more premium
1:00:46 or that is catered to an audience
1:00:50 who is happy, willing, and able to spend more
1:00:52 on something that’s a little more white glove
1:00:54 or a little bit more exclusive.
1:00:55 – I love that.
1:00:57 And what is your secret to profiting in life?
1:00:59 And this could be beyond financial.
1:01:00 – You know what?
1:01:05 The biggest lesson that I continue to bring myself back to,
1:01:07 and I feel like it’s like one of my life lessons
1:01:09 in this incarnation on earth,
1:01:14 is to be in joy as much as humanly possible,
1:01:16 even when things are hard,
1:01:17 even when things feel uncertain,
1:01:19 is to show up and to be in joy
1:01:22 because the journey’s not gonna last that long.
1:01:25 And it goes faster and faster and faster.
1:01:27 And the more that you show up in joy,
1:01:31 that vibration, it helps you profit in more ways than one.
1:01:33 You have access to greater creativity.
1:01:36 You have better connections with the people around you.
1:01:38 And the journey actually becomes a lot more fun.
1:01:39 – What a nice way to end the show.
1:01:41 And where can our listeners learn more about you
1:01:42 and everything that you do?
1:01:47 – So MarieForleo.com, it’s M-A-R-I-E-F-O-R-L-E-O.com
1:01:48 is kind of the main website.
1:01:50 We’ve got hundreds of episodes of Marie Forleo,
1:01:52 of the Marie Forleo podcast on MarieTV.
1:01:55 On all the socials, it’s @MarieForleo.
1:01:56 And I think on the website,
1:01:58 there’s a great free kind of coaching download.
1:02:00 It’s called How to Get Anything You Want.
1:02:02 So it’s like a little private coaching session,
1:02:04 that you can download it and take it with you anywhere
1:02:05 and it’s 100% free.
1:02:06 – Amazing.
1:02:07 I will put all those links in the show notes.
1:02:09 Marie, thank you so much for your time.
1:02:11 It was such a pleasure.
1:02:12 – Thank you for having me on.
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