YAPClassic: Dr. Jeff Spencer, Ultimate Goal Setting to Win Big

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0:01:26 (gentle music)
0:01:35 – Hello, Yap Fam.
0:01:38 We’ve got another fantastic Yap Classic episode
0:01:40 about to come your way.
0:01:43 Do you set goals and struggle to achieve them?
0:01:45 Would you like to hear more about how big names
0:01:48 like Tiger Woods, Oprah Winfrey, and Richard Branson
0:01:49 achieve their goals?
0:01:52 Well, lucky for you, I had an epic conversation
0:01:57 about this back in episode 179 with Dr. Jeff Spencer,
0:02:00 one of the world’s leading experts on elite performance.
0:02:03 Jeff is a former Olympic cyclist and a life coach
0:02:05 whose nickname is the Corner Man,
0:02:08 because he’s well known for working with famous athletes,
0:02:11 leaders, and CEOs to level up their performance.
0:02:14 Jeff likes to say that success is not just about talent.
0:02:16 It is both a path and a process.
0:02:18 And there are patterns and steps
0:02:20 that all successful people take.
0:02:22 In this episode, Jeff and I talk about his framework
0:02:24 of the champion’s blueprint
0:02:26 and how you can learn to hyper focus on your goals
0:02:30 and get better at identifying your blind spots
0:02:32 and how elite preparation can help you win
0:02:34 before you even start.
0:02:36 So pull up a chair, hop on that treadmill,
0:02:38 or just kick back and get ready
0:02:41 to unlock your inner champion with Dr. Jeff Spencer.
0:02:48 Hey, Jeff, welcome to Young and Profiting Podcast.
0:02:49 – Well, thank you.
0:02:50 What a pleasure to be here.
0:02:53 I am so excited for this conversation.
0:02:54 You are a former Olympian,
0:02:56 and over the course of the last 40 years,
0:02:59 you have coached, mentored, and been the Corner Man
0:03:00 to some of the world’s highest achievers
0:03:02 in business, sports, and athletics.
0:03:04 You’ve coached many of the former guests
0:03:05 that I’ve had on the show,
0:03:07 like Dave Asprey, Chris Voss, Jim Quick,
0:03:08 just to name a few.
0:03:10 And I do want to get into the tools
0:03:12 and the tricks of the trade that you use
0:03:15 to help winners get to the top and stay on top.
0:03:16 But before we do that,
0:03:18 I did want to learn more about your personal journey.
0:03:20 So let’s go back to when you were seven years old.
0:03:23 You had a natural talent for riding a bike,
0:03:25 and you knew you were gonna be an Olympian.
0:03:28 And by age 11, you made a deal with yourself
0:03:30 that you would work for the next 10 years
0:03:33 to accomplish the goal of being an Olympic cyclist.
0:03:35 You ended up achieving your goal at age 21
0:03:38 when you competed in the 1972 Olympics,
0:03:40 but it was totally against all the odds
0:03:41 because you grew up pretty poor,
0:03:44 and most Olympic athletes have financial support
0:03:45 to fund their dreams.
0:03:48 So take us back to your teenage years.
0:03:48 What were you like?
0:03:51 How did you stay on track with your lofty goal,
0:03:53 and what inspiring stories can you share
0:03:55 about accomplishing your Olympic goals?
0:03:57 – Well, first and foremost, I got the self-start gene.
0:03:59 I don’t need any motivation whatsoever.
0:04:02 I just get up and I make things happen,
0:04:04 and I show up every day and I faithfully execute
0:04:05 the one or two things that have to go right
0:04:07 to move me forward.
0:04:09 And that’s the way that I’ve always done it,
0:04:11 and it’s always served me really well.
0:04:14 So that would be, first and foremost,
0:04:16 the other side of this as well is that,
0:04:19 I had three amazing angels in my life
0:04:22 that made up for the lack of mentorship that I got at home
0:04:25 because my father was virtually a non-entity.
0:04:27 The S was my mother.
0:04:29 They certainly didn’t get in my way,
0:04:31 but they were not there to support me.
0:04:34 So I was really lucky I had an amazing cycling coach
0:04:37 that actually chose me to be able to train with his group
0:04:41 of Olympic champions and world champions.
0:04:43 And I was like 11, and they were like
0:04:45 in their mid to late 20s.
0:04:47 I mean, they were the top of the pile.
0:04:50 And he said, you know, winning is a learned skill,
0:04:51 and I want to teach you that skill.
0:04:54 And I want you to be around the conversation
0:04:55 you need to listen to now,
0:04:57 so you know exactly what it’s like.
0:05:00 And if you have it within you to be able to become this,
0:05:02 then our conversation will awaken something
0:05:05 that’s already within you to be able to make that happen.
0:05:07 You know, which it did, you know, 10 years later,
0:05:09 I just had amazing mentorship,
0:05:11 and I had people say the right thing at the right time
0:05:14 to naturally harness my abilities
0:05:17 to be able to manifest that first and foremost goal of mine.
0:05:18 – That’s super cool.
0:05:20 Why do you think they saw so much potential on you?
0:05:22 I mean, you were just 11 years old.
0:05:24 Did you have great natural ability?
0:05:26 Was it just your mindset?
0:05:28 Why did they take a liking to you, you think?
0:05:30 – I think it was everything actually,
0:05:31 ’cause I was a self-starter.
0:05:32 I’d show up on time.
0:05:34 I didn’t need to be told anything.
0:05:36 I would always show up, you know, well-prepared.
0:05:38 I would work really hard.
0:05:40 I would ask really good questions.
0:05:42 I was always respectful of the opportunities
0:05:44 in front of me.
0:05:47 And also I did have the physical ability to do this.
0:05:50 You know, there has to be a blend of mentality,
0:05:53 being able to stand in front of leadership,
0:05:56 to be able to take constructive criticism and advice,
0:05:58 to be a student of the discipline.
0:06:00 All of those things I naturally had,
0:06:03 and that endeared them to me,
0:06:06 to be able to share with me what the secrets that they used
0:06:08 to become the standout performers that they were,
0:06:11 and I deeply appreciate their acknowledgement
0:06:13 of that within me.
0:06:15 – Yeah, so something that I wanna touch on
0:06:17 is the fact that you grew up pretty poor,
0:06:19 and that must have been difficult
0:06:20 when you were trying to accomplish this goal,
0:06:24 because I could imagine that it costs money to fly places,
0:06:27 it costs money to stay at hotels if you’re competing.
0:06:29 So talk to us about how you kind of scrapped through,
0:06:32 even though you didn’t have the financial means.
0:06:33 – Well, I never saw that as a limitation.
0:06:36 I actually saw that as an opportunity and a strength,
0:06:39 because I saw the other people put way too much confidence
0:06:42 in their equipment, staying in the best hotels.
0:06:44 You don’t need a four season to become an Olympian.
0:06:46 You can sleep anywhere.
0:06:47 You just have to decide you’re gonna show up
0:06:48 and get the job done.
0:06:52 So I actually felt that I had a huge advantage
0:06:55 in not having the financial means
0:06:57 to do what other people did.
0:06:58 I was able to find a way forward,
0:07:03 and because of my natural verve and my natural enthusiasm,
0:07:06 people were really willing to be able to support me
0:07:08 in ways that I couldn’t support myself.
0:07:11 – Yeah, so I read that you actually had two mentors
0:07:12 when you were growing up.
0:07:14 So the first one was your cycling mentor,
0:07:16 and he helped you become an Olympian.
0:07:18 And you also had a second mentor,
0:07:20 which was sort of like a Renaissance man
0:07:22 that you met when you were 18.
0:07:25 So tell us about the later mentor that you met
0:07:28 who was more of a Renaissance man and what he taught you.
0:07:31 – Well, I met him through a very interesting series
0:07:33 of coincidences, ha ha.
0:07:34 I think it was very deliberate,
0:07:35 and it was Providence actually.
0:07:39 And he chose me, I was an athlete.
0:07:41 First and foremost, I had Olympic ambitions.
0:07:44 I was well on my way to becoming an Olympian.
0:07:46 And he chose me to be his apprentice
0:07:49 because he developed a whole new type of art glass sculptor,
0:07:52 but he hadn’t found anybody that he felt
0:07:55 that could be trusted with supporting him
0:07:59 and creating his masterpieces, but he chose me.
0:08:01 And it wasn’t because of my artistic ability,
0:08:02 but I did have a lot of artistic ability
0:08:05 because of my father and my mother
0:08:06 who were both extraordinarily creative.
0:08:10 But the most important thing that that mentor showed me,
0:08:13 he was 76 and I was 18 at the time.
0:08:16 So it was a very unlikely pairing,
0:08:19 but during our lunches and during our breaks,
0:08:22 what he would do, he would read poetry to me.
0:08:25 He would read The Great Philosophers.
0:08:29 He would share with me classical music.
0:08:35 He said, “I need to fill you up on these other aspects of life.”
0:08:38 And he was correct because I had the ability
0:08:40 to be able to absorb that.
0:08:43 And because he brought the heart and soul
0:08:45 to my athletic prowess,
0:08:48 I now had these two other assets
0:08:53 that just made me a better performer in every way possible.
0:08:58 So that was the incredible brilliance and opportunity
0:09:01 that he brought to me, the finer points in life
0:09:04 that I certainly did not have access to otherwise.
0:09:07 – Yeah, well, that’s super inspiring.
0:09:09 So today you are one of the most prominent mentors
0:09:10 in the world.
0:09:12 So you’ve coached greats like Tiger Woods,
0:09:15 Richard Branson, and you’ve been lovingly dubbed
0:09:16 the corner man.
0:09:19 So I’d love to understand how you got that name
0:09:20 and tell us a bit about the work
0:09:22 that you do with your clients.
0:09:23 – Well, I didn’t actually choose that word
0:09:25 that kind of the word chose me
0:09:27 through what other people said about me.
0:09:31 And the genesis of that is, you know, the Rocky movie.
0:09:34 And, you know, Rocky was someone that had talent
0:09:38 and ambition, had capacity to be able
0:09:39 to become the perennial champion of the world,
0:09:41 but he couldn’t take himself there.
0:09:44 And there’s all sorts of different advisors.
0:09:46 You have coaches, like when they work with you too,
0:09:48 Bono had his voice coach,
0:09:50 but the voice coach didn’t know about the rest of his life.
0:09:52 So it was like, well, I hope the rest of your life
0:09:55 doesn’t get in the way of my voice coaching
0:09:56 because I know I could do my part well,
0:09:57 but I don’t know about the rest of it.
0:10:00 And so it’s very similar also with mentors.
0:10:02 You can have like a life mentor,
0:10:04 you can have a business mentor,
0:10:07 but they don’t know about a certain percentage of your life.
0:10:12 And to me, what Rocky had was the old guy Mickey
0:10:15 in his corner that had seen everything.
0:10:17 And it helped people in many different areas
0:10:19 become their own champions.
0:10:23 And that’s what I and why people call me the corner man
0:10:26 because of my experience, my age,
0:10:27 where I’ve been, what I’ve accomplished.
0:10:29 There’s nothing that I have not seen in life
0:10:31 and there’s nothing that I haven’t participated in
0:10:34 or guided people through at the highest level of performance.
0:10:36 And so therefore,
0:10:38 I have a basic competency in virtually everything.
0:10:41 So I can meet people exactly where they are.
0:10:43 And because of that totality,
0:10:46 I can select what has to go right when
0:10:48 to be able to get the most progress
0:10:51 with the least of time and effort and expense
0:10:52 to move as quickly as possible
0:10:55 towards any and every ambition that a person has.
0:10:58 And that’s why they call me the corner man
0:11:01 because it’s the rarest of all advisory species.
0:11:04 I love that, I love that nickname.
0:11:08 And so you were really big at coaching sports people,
0:11:09 I think, at first.
0:11:11 And then you moved into business.
0:11:13 I guess my question is what is the crossover
0:11:17 between what you learned as an Olympian and business,
0:11:19 which is what you focus on a lot now?
0:11:21 Well, I mean, you have to be your own champion
0:11:24 of both of those and becoming your own champion.
0:11:27 It’s a presence of being, it’s not a technical difference.
0:11:30 So whether it’s locker room or board room,
0:11:32 there are technical differences,
0:11:36 but yet the us, the champion that needs to show up
0:11:38 and make really good decisions consistently
0:11:42 to make sure that we get ourselves into the winter circle,
0:11:43 that remains consistent.
0:11:46 So I don’t see that there’s any distinction whatsoever.
0:11:48 Like for example, I don’t know what pencil sharpener to use,
0:11:50 but we can find an expert to tell us that.
0:11:52 But I can tell you about you,
0:11:55 the leader of your own life, CEO of you Inc.
0:11:56 What it is that you need to do
0:11:59 and how you need to show up to be able to manifest
0:12:00 the things that have to go right
0:12:04 for you to be able to evolve into and demonstrate
0:12:05 and manifest your talents
0:12:08 and create the legacy that you’re capable of creating.
0:12:09 Yeah.
0:12:12 So one of the questions that I have for you is,
0:12:15 do you look for certain qualities in your clients?
0:12:16 Like you were just mentioning
0:12:18 how you were a self-starter since you were young.
0:12:20 I am the same way.
0:12:21 There’s different personality types.
0:12:23 There’s people that need like accountability
0:12:25 and there’s people who can self-start.
0:12:27 So are there specific qualities that you look for
0:12:29 in the people that you mentor?
0:12:31 100%, you have to be coachable.
0:12:34 You have to show up on time.
0:12:36 That has to be your natural set point.
0:12:40 You need to be able to do things that are unconventional.
0:12:43 You have to learn to transcend your fear
0:12:45 and the beliefs that you have
0:12:47 that are no longer serving you well.
0:12:49 You have to be a really great teammate.
0:12:51 You have to be fearless about investing in yourself
0:12:53 and your bigger future.
0:12:57 And you have to have a certain amount of innate talent
0:13:01 as well and you have to be able to hold reality
0:13:03 as preeminent rather than trying to tell yourself
0:13:05 the stories that you want to hear.
0:13:07 You need to be able to look at what reality really is.
0:13:09 And with all of those elements
0:13:11 that I just described to you there,
0:13:13 if a person has those,
0:13:14 then it’s only a matter of time
0:13:15 before they manifest whatever the goals
0:13:17 that they have for themselves.
0:13:18 Yeah, I totally agree.
0:13:20 So I wanna switch gears a bit.
0:13:23 I read that your dad was a genius
0:13:25 that died homeless on the streets of New York City.
0:13:27 And the last time you ever saw him
0:13:28 was when you were 13 years old.
0:13:33 So you guys obviously had a totally different type of life
0:13:35 and made different decisions and choices.
0:13:37 So talk to us about your father
0:13:40 and what example that he, like,
0:13:42 what did you learn from his story
0:13:45 and how did you then apply that in your life?
0:13:47 Well, at the time, it’s always a tragedy
0:13:50 when you have a genius that can’t manifest their genius
0:13:53 and lives the life of desperation
0:13:56 and dies really being a statistic
0:13:57 and an example of what you should never be
0:13:59 and what you should never emulate.
0:14:01 I mean, that’s tragic in and of itself.
0:14:05 And it’s certainly a great loss to me as well.
0:14:07 But the real take home from this
0:14:10 is that he was missing two things.
0:14:13 Number one, he did not have a roadmap
0:14:15 that showed him where he was and what that meant
0:14:20 and what to do to be able to move forward towards next.
0:14:23 And if we don’t have that roadmap
0:14:25 and we don’t have the second part of this,
0:14:29 the sound counsel that can help us interpret the reality
0:14:31 of what it is that we’re facing and considering
0:14:34 because a lot of the things that we believe to be true aren’t
0:14:38 and we can’t make them take us to where we want to get to
0:14:41 by design, they can’t do that inherently anyhow.
0:14:43 So therefore, two things.
0:14:45 There has to be sound counsel in your life
0:14:47 that can help shortcut your learning curve
0:14:52 to eliminate the risk of succumbing to preventable problems
0:14:54 but also having a state of readiness to recognize
0:14:57 and seize opportunities that could exponentially catapult us
0:14:59 towards our bigger future.
0:15:03 And then there also, again, there needs to be a roadmap
0:15:06 that can identify where we are in process
0:15:09 so that we don’t misinterpret things
0:15:10 as being something that they’re not.
0:15:14 So for example, in any highly aspirational goal,
0:15:17 there’s always a segment in the pursuit of that goal,
0:15:19 I call the daily grind, it’s going to be hard.
0:15:21 It’s going to be really hard.
0:15:23 You may actually find yourself wanting to quit
0:15:25 and you may actually unfortunately talk yourself
0:15:27 into it one step before you have your breakthrough.
0:15:31 But if we think that there’s not supposed to be hard
0:15:33 because it means that there’s something wrong with us
0:15:35 that we couldn’t make right decisions
0:15:36 or we chose it on the other side,
0:15:37 that’s complete mythology.
0:15:41 But we wouldn’t know that unless we had someone
0:15:44 that really knew what the process was
0:15:47 because our human mindset,
0:15:49 those things that naturally occur to us to be true,
0:15:51 it is not always our best friend
0:15:55 because it does oftentimes talk us into doing things
0:15:57 based upon what we presume it to be
0:16:00 when it’s actually not the discredits us
0:16:04 that actually talks ourselves out of performing
0:16:05 and playing the game that we’re capable of.
0:16:07 He was just one of those two things.
0:16:08 – Yeah, I love this.
0:16:10 This is such a great transition
0:16:11 into your champion’s blueprint.
0:16:13 So I want to read a quote
0:16:15 that really parlays well into what you just said.
0:16:16 So you’ve said in the past
0:16:19 that success doesn’t come from will, talent or tactics.
0:16:21 The winners know something that everyone else doesn’t.
0:16:25 They’ve discovered that success is both a path and a process.
0:16:28 So I thought this would be a great place to start.
0:16:32 Why is success both a path and a process?
0:16:34 – Well, it’s actually it’s a learned behavior
0:16:38 and all of the prolific achievers of history
0:16:40 have always taught us what to do when
0:16:43 if we’re a good observer of what that is.
0:16:45 And many times what they’re suggesting
0:16:48 is contrarian to pop culture.
0:16:50 So for example, in pop culture,
0:16:52 it’s like we’ll just get started, fail fast.
0:16:54 Well, I’m not so sure you want to do that.
0:16:57 I think there needs to be a basis of readiness
0:17:00 that’s appropriate that reduces the risk
0:17:01 of a premature stall.
0:17:03 Because I mean, if you fail too fast too early,
0:17:05 you may think you’re not capable of doing it.
0:17:07 It’s just that you were too quick to make a judgment
0:17:09 on something that wasn’t true.
0:17:13 So I really feel like there’s so much mythology
0:17:18 that surrounds the conversation of really how is it
0:17:23 that we get from concept of greatness and manifestation
0:17:27 to the actual three-dimension manifestation
0:17:29 of what’s actually possible.
0:17:32 And so the champion’s golden rule is
0:17:34 do the homework and the test is easy.
0:17:37 Meaning that first you prepare and then you perform.
0:17:40 A lot of people think, most people are dismal
0:17:41 about their preparation.
0:17:44 They start way too fast, way too unprepared
0:17:46 that sets themselves up for unnecessary failure
0:17:48 or lack of confidence in self.
0:17:50 So I feel first and foremost,
0:17:53 we have to recognize the fact that
0:17:56 anytime we have an ambition of any sort,
0:17:57 the first thing you always want to make sure
0:17:59 that you do is prepare well, don’t kid yourself.
0:18:02 Make sure that the way that I see it
0:18:04 and what history has revealed is that there’s five
0:18:06 important steps that we should go through
0:18:08 to make sure that we’re properly prepared
0:18:10 before we even start pursuing the goal,
0:18:12 which would be the second half of that.
0:18:13 – Yeah, it’s funny.
0:18:16 I’m smiling because what you said reminded me
0:18:19 of what up-and-coming podcasters often tell me.
0:18:21 I’ll talk to them and they’ll say,
0:18:22 oh, well, I don’t study for interviews.
0:18:23 I just wing it.
0:18:26 And I’m always thinking like how do you think
0:18:27 that that’s gonna go?
0:18:29 Like you’re obviously not gonna be successful
0:18:30 if you don’t prepare.
0:18:31 – Yeah.
0:18:34 I’m just like, well, no wonder you have 10 downloads.
0:18:34 (laughs)
0:18:36 – Well, you know, it’s, again,
0:18:37 that’s part of the mythology of this.
0:18:40 I mean, there’s so much mythology
0:18:41 that’s around our decision-making
0:18:42 in terms of achievement.
0:18:45 I mean, I think it’s one of the most important
0:18:48 disservices ever to listen to some of the advice
0:18:50 out there because it can’t possibly take you
0:18:53 from where you are to where you wanna get to.
0:18:55 Just don’t say it. – Yeah, totally.
0:18:58 Okay, so you, like I mentioned,
0:18:59 you have this famous framework.
0:19:01 It’s called Champions Blueprint.
0:19:02 It has many steps.
0:19:04 So we’re not gonna be able to cover all the steps
0:19:06 in detail, but I am gonna highlight
0:19:08 some of my key takeaways, some of your key principles.
0:19:10 And it’s broken down into two parts,
0:19:13 which you sort of alluded to, preparation and performance.
0:19:15 You talked about the golden rule.
0:19:17 First you prepare, then you perform.
0:19:19 Is there anything you wanna mention at a high level
0:19:21 before we talk about your takeaways
0:19:24 in terms of performance versus,
0:19:27 sorry, in terms of preparation versus performance?
0:19:30 – No, I mean, first off, they both go hand in hand.
0:19:33 They’re both two separate halves that can join.
0:19:35 If you wanna be a prolific achiever
0:19:37 and consistently achieve your highest goals,
0:19:39 you absolutely have to follow that rule
0:19:42 because if you cannot follow that rule,
0:19:45 then just prepare yourself to take 10 times as long
0:19:47 to get to where you wanna get to if you get there at all.
0:19:49 It just isn’t gonna happen.
0:19:53 – Yeah, okay, so in terms of the preparation section
0:19:54 of your blueprint framework,
0:19:56 the first step is to clarify goals
0:19:58 that align with your body, mind and soul.
0:20:01 So I thought this was super interesting and unique
0:20:04 because I’ve never heard anyone bring in the soul
0:20:06 and spirituality when it comes to goals.
0:20:09 And I talk about goals all the time on the podcast.
0:20:10 So let’s start there.
0:20:14 Why do we need to make sure that our mind, body and soul
0:20:15 is aligned with our goal?
0:20:17 – When you have that alignment,
0:20:21 then you have a unification self issue as an entity
0:20:23 that has a level of belief and confidence
0:20:27 that you absolutely must have to be able to be confident
0:20:29 in pursuing the goals that are in front of you.
0:20:32 And if you do not have that alignment,
0:20:35 you’re always gonna be second guessing yourself.
0:20:36 And if you’re second guessing yourself,
0:20:38 you’re gonna be reluctant to make decisions
0:20:41 promptly and accurately,
0:20:43 you’re going to shy away from going all in
0:20:46 when you need to go all in.
0:20:48 You’re not gonna be conveying to other people
0:20:50 a presence of being where they believe
0:20:53 that you’re worthy of following or supporting
0:20:55 to manifest your bigger future.
0:20:56 None of that is gonna happen
0:21:00 because that is the byproduct of making sure
0:21:02 that we have the most important goal of all time.
0:21:03 It’s not the smart goal.
0:21:06 It’s not the big, hairy, audacious goal.
0:21:08 It’s do we have the right goal?
0:21:10 And when we do have the right goal,
0:21:12 and there’s a very specific criteria
0:21:15 that I use with my clients that’s very vigorous
0:21:18 that allows us to look at number one,
0:21:21 is this the right goal for me at this time?
0:21:22 Yes or no?
0:21:24 If it’s not, then you maybe don’t want to pursue it
0:21:26 because the timing may not be correct.
0:21:29 So I just cannot emphasize enough the importance
0:21:32 of making sure that you select the right goal.
0:21:34 Because when you select the right goal
0:21:37 and you have that unification of mind, body and soul,
0:21:41 it gives you what I call the trademark word, GOKIS.
0:21:44 Kind of a funny word, but GOKIS means goal focus.
0:21:47 Meaning that you have the ability to focus
0:21:50 on the things that must go right to move your goal,
0:21:53 ascension from where you are to where you want to get to.
0:21:58 There must be daily progress through that level of focus.
0:22:02 But then you must also have a peripheral awareness
0:22:03 of what’s happening around you
0:22:07 because you may be gifted with a better idea
0:22:11 to adjust the trajectory of your goal to a bigger better
0:22:13 that can be gifted to your consciousness.
0:22:16 But if you’re too hyper focused on the action steps,
0:22:18 you may miss that.
0:22:19 And also in the periphery,
0:22:22 this is where blindsides start to form.
0:22:23 They could wipe us off the face of the earth
0:22:26 or create an untimely stall that may end up
0:22:29 in our inability to manifest the goal
0:22:30 that we’re in pursuit of.
0:22:34 So there has to be this continuous unique blend
0:22:37 of goal focus to get stuff done
0:22:39 with a simultaneous peripheral awareness
0:22:42 of better options and risks that we should be avoiding.
0:22:46 – Yeah, so you mentioned this very lightly,
0:22:47 this concept of the right goal.
0:22:51 So a lot of us have heard of these like smart goals, right?
0:22:54 But you say you have a different framework for goals.
0:22:55 It’s called the right goals.
0:22:57 It actually stands for some things.
0:23:02 Can you break it down what a right goal is?
0:23:05 – Yeah, well, a right goal is a goal
0:23:06 that aligns the mind, body and soul
0:23:09 because it exposes itself to a variety of different questions
0:23:12 that should be asked and answered in the affirmative
0:23:15 if it’s the right goal to pursue.
0:23:16 There’s all sorts of smart goals
0:23:18 that you shouldn’t be pursuing actually.
0:23:20 So the R in right stands for relevant.
0:23:23 You really need to take the time to ask yourself,
0:23:25 is this goal really relevant to me?
0:23:27 And why is it relevant?
0:23:29 Put the pen to the paper to be able to create
0:23:32 a body of evidence as to why this is relevant
0:23:36 because the relevancy creates a certain level
0:23:39 of personal commitment and insistence
0:23:41 that you do achieve the goal
0:23:44 if you have confirmed it to be relevant.
0:23:45 The next thing is indicators.
0:23:47 The I in right is indicators.
0:23:50 There must be adequate indicators there
0:23:52 that assure you that the goal, again,
0:23:54 is worth pursuing indicators.
0:23:57 Like, do I get enough notoriety coming back from this?
0:24:01 Does this give me enough credibility?
0:24:04 Does this provide the income that I need
0:24:05 for me to be able to pursue this?
0:24:09 So there’s a number of indicators that we do need to name,
0:24:12 that we do need to hold accountability for.
0:24:14 Because again, when we have vetted this
0:24:17 through a purposeful process,
0:24:19 then it allows us to have a different type
0:24:21 of relationship to our goal.
0:24:23 I think people have way too casual
0:24:25 a relationship with their goal.
0:24:26 They’re not in love with it.
0:24:29 They’re not gonna fight for it like they really should.
0:24:32 The G in right stands for gravity.
0:24:35 I mean, what is the emotional gravity and grit
0:24:38 that the achievement of this goal avails you of?
0:24:40 What are you gonna say about yourself
0:24:41 once you’ve achieved this goal?
0:24:43 Are you gonna have a greater trust in your ability
0:24:46 to be a manifestor of what your talents are
0:24:49 and your ability to contribute to humanity?
0:24:51 Well, if it brings out level of gravity
0:24:52 and it gives you that type of grit,
0:24:55 well, I certainly think that it’s a goal worth pursuing.
0:24:59 The H in right stands for humanity.
0:25:02 I think personally that our goals need to have
0:25:06 a big slice of humanity attached to it.
0:25:10 Like, how is this actually impacting people, places
0:25:13 and things on this planet like right now?
0:25:16 Because if that isn’t answered in the affirmative,
0:25:20 then we just kind of don’t have that level of commitment
0:25:22 that’s necessary to stay in the game
0:25:24 and keep pushing when the goal gets tough.
0:25:26 And every goal is gonna get tough.
0:25:28 And there have to be certain things that are there
0:25:31 that allow us to stay in the game to move beyond that.
0:25:36 And that’s why the idea of grit is extremely important.
0:25:41 The H is and humanity, why humanity is really important.
0:25:43 And then the T in right is time.
0:25:45 Is this the right time to be pursuing the goal?
0:25:46 Yes or no?
0:25:48 Do you actually have the time to pursue the goal?
0:25:49 Yes or no?
0:25:51 Does the time from where you are to goal completion
0:25:52 suit your sensibility?
0:25:53 Yes or no?
0:25:57 And if you’ve deliberately taken the time to scrutinize
0:26:00 the goal that you’re proposing to pursue
0:26:02 through that line of questioning,
0:26:05 and you’ve answered this in the affirmative,
0:26:08 then you have a level of commitment with itself
0:26:11 that will absolutely 100% guarantee
0:26:14 that you will find yourself in that winner circle.
0:26:17 Yeah, I really like that framework
0:26:19 because I feel like it really makes sure
0:26:20 that you stay motivated.
0:26:23 You kind of crossed off anything that could deter you
0:26:26 or cause you to quit or something midway.
0:26:29 So I think that is a great framework to follow.
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0:31:08 So let’s talk about the need to be super clear
0:31:10 with our goals, because a lot of people
0:31:13 have very wishy-washy goals, they’re vague,
0:31:14 they’re more like dreams.
0:31:16 So maybe you can walk us through examples
0:31:20 of what a good goal is versus one that’s not so clear.
0:31:23 Well, I think the goal clarity goes back
0:31:25 going through the right goal criteria.
0:31:28 Because if you’re answering in the affirmative,
0:31:30 all of those, because you’re taking the time
0:31:33 to really answer the questions,
0:31:37 as they’re intentionally provocative to hold you accountable
0:31:40 for being able to stand behind what you’re proposing to do.
0:31:42 And as I said earlier, I think a lot of people
0:31:43 are way too casual.
0:31:46 They look at the goal as the giver of something
0:31:48 to me later, like the home, the house, the security,
0:31:49 or whatever.
0:31:54 But it has to be more than that to be able to stay in the game
0:31:58 and to be able to stay in belief and to stay in commitment
0:32:02 when the inevitable challenges always surface within a goal.
0:32:05 And if you do not have that, then you cannot have
0:32:08 and do not have the conviction necessary to do it.
0:32:10 It has to go right in critical moments
0:32:11 where you may be doubting yourself
0:32:13 or even questioning whether you should continue
0:32:15 to pursue the goal itself.
0:32:19 – Yeah, and previously, Jeff, you were mentioning
0:32:21 how you need to have peripheral vision.
0:32:22 You need to be aware of your surroundings.
0:32:25 You need to be aware of the different risks
0:32:25 that are going on.
0:32:28 So talk to us about the importance of knowing the risks
0:32:32 or potential blind spots associated with our goals.
0:32:34 – Well, the blind spots are things that we cannot outrun
0:32:35 and every one of us has got them.
0:32:37 I can only tell you that.
0:32:40 And that’s why I feel like there’s an important space
0:32:45 to be held for some corner man type of accessibility
0:32:49 to make sure that we’re seeing everything that we need
0:32:52 to see without the presumption that we know everything
0:32:54 because that’s a catastrophic perspective
0:32:58 that unfortunately is taking a lot of people
0:33:02 unfortunately out of the game that they could have won.
0:33:06 Had they had the insight to see what their liabilities
0:33:09 and their risks are, and a point I want to make here
0:33:13 is that no prolific achiever in any discipline
0:33:16 does not look at it through the eyes of what can go right,
0:33:18 what can go wrong, what are the probabilities?
0:33:21 And there’s a certain category of person that feels,
0:33:24 well, you know, if I cast doubt on this,
0:33:27 then I’m drawing doubt into reality.
0:33:29 And therefore I’m shortcutting myself
0:33:31 when I should not be thinking about anything
0:33:34 that could be adversarial to me in this process.
0:33:37 And I can tell you that is absolutely unadulterated garbage.
0:33:40 I don’t know anybody that’s a prolific achiever
0:33:45 that does not always take a full and thorough inventory
0:33:49 of what the probability of risks are
0:33:51 so that they leverage themselves against success.
0:33:54 They don’t deleverage themselves in favor of failure.
0:33:57 I’ve never seen that complete mythology.
0:33:59 – Yeah, and it’s interesting that you say that
0:34:00 because like you said,
0:34:03 some people think that they can only think positive.
0:34:03 – Correct.
0:34:06 – And if they go and think about the different ways
0:34:07 that things could go wrong,
0:34:08 they think that that’s negative thinking,
0:34:11 but that’s really just preparing.
0:34:13 And it doesn’t mean that you are a negative thinker.
0:34:15 It just means that you’re preparing ahead
0:34:18 and you can be positive
0:34:20 because you’re thinking of the solutions ahead of time
0:34:23 so that if you hit that obstacle in the moment,
0:34:24 you’ll know what to do.
0:34:25 Can you talk to us more about that,
0:34:27 about what kind of mindset you need to have
0:34:30 through all of this and how, you know,
0:34:34 thinking of potential risk is not actually negative thinking?
0:34:37 – I would first, I would say let’s not use the word mindset
0:34:40 because mindset makes it sound like there’s a rigid set
0:34:43 of things that if applied guarantee an outcome,
0:34:45 that’s not true.
0:34:47 That’s like, oh, I’ll just think good thoughts
0:34:49 and somehow everything will backfill and manifest.
0:34:50 That’s not true.
0:34:52 It’s all about actions and the things that are done.
0:34:54 So I kind of look at this through the eyes
0:34:56 of the champion’s mind,
0:34:58 meaning the champions have a mind,
0:35:01 meaning that the mind is like a three-dimensional entity
0:35:05 that has the capacity to look at, think, evaluate,
0:35:10 collate, transmit, share, and store information
0:35:13 in a very thoughtful way that represents reality.
0:35:16 And that’s the way that all the prolific achievers do it.
0:35:19 They look at the way that I advance things forward
0:35:21 is not a way of thinking.
0:35:23 We’re taking action on the evidence
0:35:27 that we see in front of us that history has informed us
0:35:30 that if we execute this, then it will take us here.
0:35:32 I think that’s the most important thing.
0:35:35 We begin to forget that aspirational achievement,
0:35:39 it’s actually a verb, it’s not a passive noun.
0:35:42 It’s a presence of being, it’s the actions that are taken.
0:35:45 Therefore, I just suggest that we take the time
0:35:50 to really look at the relevance and the sources
0:35:54 that we refer to to get our information
0:35:56 about what it is that we should be doing.
0:35:59 Because at many times, what we think it is
0:36:00 is not what it is at all.
0:36:02 But it sounds good to our human mindset.
0:36:05 It’s touchy, feeling nice, but historically,
0:36:09 it can’t necessarily deliver on what we hope it to be.
0:36:12 And that again, why I feel it’s really important
0:36:17 that we have the right level of corner man influence
0:36:20 as we’re learning the process of achievement,
0:36:22 which is actually, it’s a learned skill.
0:36:24 It’s not something that we’re born with.
0:36:26 – Yeah, so as we’re trying to determine
0:36:28 all the different risks with our goals,
0:36:31 what are the questions that we should ask ourselves
0:36:33 or ask our mentors in order to find out
0:36:35 what those risks could possibly be?
0:36:38 – Well, I think there’s a set of things
0:36:40 that we should be looking at.
0:36:42 Number one, given an opportunity, you have to look at,
0:36:45 well, how are you perceiving the opportunity?
0:36:49 Are you looking at it based upon what you believe
0:36:50 you stand to lose?
0:36:53 Well, and if that’s the way you’re doing it, don’t do it.
0:36:55 Because that’s not gonna take you
0:36:57 to where you wanna get to.
0:37:01 There has to be a vision of what the outcome
0:37:03 of the manifest goal will represent
0:37:07 to not only us, the individual, but our legacy.
0:37:11 And also what this will say and mean to other people
0:37:14 viewing it and what the impact on humanity
0:37:16 in the planet at large will have.
0:37:20 I do feel that we need to look at that in advance
0:37:24 to measure the probability of how that might be answered
0:37:25 with our achieved goal.
0:37:26 I think that that’s really important.
0:37:30 The other thing I would say is that don’t try to be perfect.
0:37:32 Perfect doesn’t get you to where you wanna get to
0:37:33 because then you’re obsessing
0:37:35 on all the things that could go wrong,
0:37:36 where it shouldn’t be that.
0:37:37 You should be looking at the one or two things
0:37:41 that have to go right to keep things moving forward.
0:37:43 I mean, that’s what the champions do.
0:37:45 They prepare, what do I need to do right now
0:37:48 that has to go right that everything else is dependent upon?
0:37:51 So it becomes much simpler.
0:37:54 I think the idea of fear also is another side to this.
0:37:56 I mean, people think, well, I have to be fear free
0:37:57 before I get started.
0:37:58 Well, no, you don’t.
0:38:01 I mean, generally anybody that has high aspirations
0:38:02 is gonna have a certain level of fear.
0:38:04 Like, you know, when I work with you two,
0:38:06 and you know, before they go on stage,
0:38:08 I mean, yeah, they all had butterflies.
0:38:09 It’s like, well, look, Bono,
0:38:10 you don’t need to have butterflies
0:38:10 ’cause you’re Bono.
0:38:11 Well, he did have them.
0:38:13 Okay, well, he just knew what to do with it.
0:38:15 It was a sign of biologic readiness.
0:38:17 So a lot of how we’re interpreting our experience
0:38:21 in my experience is that it’s not done correctly.
0:38:25 So yeah, we should be observant of the fear
0:38:27 but recognize it’s our friend
0:38:32 to be able to put in our highest level of physical output.
0:38:35 There has to be a certain level of fear present.
0:38:37 Otherwise we’re gonna be asleep at the wheel.
0:38:40 But we should also realize that you can apply
0:38:42 what has to go right despite your fear.
0:38:45 So again, that’s another point of mythology
0:38:47 that I think that is really important
0:38:49 to be mindful of as well.
0:38:52 Yeah, so we’re talking a lot about being prepared.
0:38:55 And let’s say we do all the things that you mentioned.
0:38:56 We have really clear goals.
0:38:59 We take a look at the different risks and the blind spots
0:39:01 and we feel very prepared.
0:39:03 What are the ways that some people blow it
0:39:06 in their big moment, in that moment of reality
0:39:08 where they should have done what they prepared for
0:39:11 but maybe they go with their gut instinct or something.
0:39:12 Yeah, well, I think you said it right,
0:39:13 they go with their gut,
0:39:15 they let their emotions take over.
0:39:16 So they go back and they do it,
0:39:19 didn’t work the previous 10 times,
0:39:21 because they get afraid about executing
0:39:22 what has to go right.
0:39:23 I see this all the time.
0:39:26 As a matter of fact, I have a white paper that I did
0:39:28 when people go to my website to opt in,
0:39:30 it’s called how not to blow it just before you win.
0:39:33 It’s a 27 page document that I put together
0:39:36 because it’s that important to me.
0:39:38 They start to change everything
0:39:40 before they execute what has to go right.
0:39:44 So again, I feel like this can be pruned back
0:39:46 to the simplicity of,
0:39:47 do you know exactly the one or two things
0:39:50 that have to go right, like right now
0:39:52 for everything else to be able to move forward.
0:39:54 And if you can name those two things
0:39:56 and you know what those things are,
0:39:57 then as you execute those,
0:39:59 then the next things that need to be addressed
0:40:01 will then reveal themselves.
0:40:05 So it’s really much simpler than we make it to be,
0:40:07 but when the fear takes over,
0:40:10 we start to believe in what didn’t work in the past
0:40:12 and it’s certainly not gonna work now.
0:40:14 But we have to actually prepare ourselves
0:40:17 by preparing through simulation,
0:40:19 the readiness to be able to execute correctly
0:40:20 when you have to go correct.
0:40:22 It would be the same thing like in a podcast.
0:40:24 I mean, you just don’t show up
0:40:25 and turn the microphone on.
0:40:29 I mean, there’s a very deliberate readiness process
0:40:32 that you go through that allows you
0:40:34 to control the pacing and the outcome.
0:40:38 You’re not leaving this blindly up to circumstances
0:40:41 to deliver on the highest promise possible.
0:40:43 Just really feel like your confidence
0:40:45 is demonstrating to yourself that you can do it
0:40:47 because you’ve rehearsed it
0:40:49 and then you realize when I have to execute this
0:40:51 in real time, I’m not gonna deviate
0:40:53 from what I know needs to go right.
0:40:55 – Yeah, and I have to say,
0:40:57 every time I deviate from my plan,
0:40:59 I screw up too, it’s normal.
0:41:00 You know what I mean?
0:41:02 I did it a few times already on this podcast
0:41:05 where I’m like, why didn’t I just stick to what I wrote?
0:41:08 That’s how it goes and you live and you learn.
0:41:10 So let’s talk about legacy.
0:41:12 Legacy is really important
0:41:14 and a lot of people think that legacy
0:41:16 is something that happens after you die.
0:41:18 And it’s just like however your life turned out,
0:41:19 that’s your legacy.
0:41:21 But you say that you should think about your legacy
0:41:22 from the start.
0:41:24 Talk to us about why that’s important.
0:41:28 – Whether we like it or not,
0:41:31 every one of us is gonna leave a legacy
0:41:35 that will be available to everybody on this planet
0:41:38 to look at and study for all of eternity,
0:41:39 what we deal with our time
0:41:41 and what we deal with our talents.
0:41:43 And there are no reviews on that.
0:41:45 Once it’s over, it’s over.
0:41:47 And I feel like we really need to think about
0:41:49 this idea of immortality.
0:41:51 I know that that doesn’t occur to people,
0:41:54 but once you get into your late 40s,
0:41:56 you start thinking about stuff like this.
0:42:01 But there’s something that transcends us that lives on
0:42:04 and it will impact people.
0:42:07 And that is what we did.
0:42:10 Because what we did, you can’t go back and erase that.
0:42:13 You can’t modify it at a certain point.
0:42:16 And I really feel like at the end of the day,
0:42:21 we should walk off the field for the final time saying,
0:42:24 there’s nothing more that I could have possibly done
0:42:27 in this creation to make any further contribution
0:42:30 because I had the courage to show up
0:42:33 and do what I was called to do faithfully.
0:42:37 And wherever that goes, I’m okay with that.
0:42:40 But I certainly didn’t leave anything on the field.
0:42:42 I gave it everything that I had.
0:42:44 And I feel that that’s a really important statement
0:42:49 that we all have to reconcile at some point in our life
0:42:54 generally in the second or the end of the second half here.
0:42:57 And here’s what I would say also,
0:43:00 is that my greatest achievement is the adoption
0:43:04 of our daughter at the age of 10 from Columbia.
0:43:07 We adopted a 10 year old from Columbia at the age of 10.
0:43:10 I was 58, I was at the height of my career at that time.
0:43:13 And I was called to make the decision
0:43:16 that I was gonna raise our daughter.
0:43:19 And our daughter, number one, she didn’t speak English.
0:43:20 We didn’t speak Spanish.
0:43:22 We had no language.
0:43:23 She had no school.
0:43:25 She had PTSD and ADHD from getting beaten up
0:43:28 and worse for the first 10 years of her life.
0:43:29 It’s your frickin’ nightmare.
0:43:32 Every second of her life was your worst nightmare.
0:43:37 And I chose to raise my daughter at the height of my career.
0:43:41 And it’s like, I don’t feel like I gave anything up.
0:43:42 People say, well, look what you gave up.
0:43:45 No, I didn’t give up anything.
0:43:47 Our job was to manifest our human potential,
0:43:48 not just like to save a life.
0:43:53 And what I did give her and what I learned from this
0:43:58 was more worth anything that I’ve ever previously done at all
0:44:03 because I learned that you can love anybody.
0:44:05 You don’t need a special reason.
0:44:07 You just show up and you do it.
0:44:08 It isn’t a two-way street.
0:44:10 Make it a one-way street.
0:44:13 You give without any reciprocation
0:44:16 or reciprocal expectation whatsoever.
0:44:19 I also learned to trust the process.
0:44:22 That I’m basically fearless
0:44:24 because when we adopted her,
0:44:26 it took everything that we had
0:44:29 to be able to provide for the extraordinary needs
0:44:32 that she had to give her a chance
0:44:34 to get herself back into the game of life.
0:44:36 And I didn’t save anything from my retirement
0:44:40 for 10 years between 58 and 68
0:44:42 because my commitment was to raising our daughter
0:44:44 and do whatever was necessary.
0:44:48 And I also realized that you always have enough energy
0:44:50 to do anything on behalf of others.
0:44:51 Or if you’re called into service,
0:44:53 there’s always going to be enough energy.
0:44:54 You know, where the energy gets sparse
0:44:57 is where we’re doing everything in our own self-interest
0:45:00 or we’re in such fear of loss
0:45:03 that we kind of worry our life and our energy away.
0:45:05 And the other thing that I will say
0:45:09 is that if you think anything you’re saying and do
0:45:11 as relates to this topic, a legacy,
0:45:13 when we adopted our daughter, man,
0:45:15 she’d never been hugged, never been loved.
0:45:16 She used to wrap her legs around me
0:45:19 and bury her head into my chest and I just hold her, you know?
0:45:22 And it’s like, she hung on my every word.
0:45:24 So what I want to say to everybody is that
0:45:26 if you think what you do and what you say
0:45:28 and how you show up doesn’t matter, adopt a kid.
0:45:30 Because everything that you do in life
0:45:32 does have some level of impact
0:45:34 that calls people to something.
0:45:37 And when you take the high road
0:45:39 and you’re manifestly committed to that,
0:45:42 where there is no negotiation on that,
0:45:44 your life takes on an entirely different level
0:45:46 of purpose and meaning.
0:45:49 And the last thing I’ll say about this is that
0:45:52 you never withhold the possibility of a miracle
0:45:56 because that’s what it took us to be able to help our daughter
0:46:00 get to a point to get beyond what she did not ask for in life
0:46:05 that was imposed upon her by other people.
0:46:08 And so that’s why legacy is important to me
0:46:10 because at the end of the day,
0:46:14 we do have an immortality that will be there,
0:46:18 that will say something of tremendous value to people.
0:46:20 But please don’t make it like my dad.
0:46:22 My dad was the genius that could have but didn’t.
0:46:25 And he can’t go back and redeem himself, you know?
0:46:30 His moniker, his tagline is don’t be like me.
0:46:32 You know, it’s tragic for me to have to say that,
0:46:34 but you know, we do make our own choices.
0:46:36 And you know, if we can’t do it for ourselves,
0:46:38 let’s just make sure that we do it for other people.
0:46:41 So other people at least have a template
0:46:44 they can look at that’s inspirational to them
0:46:46 to be able to step into the unknown
0:46:47 with confidence and certainty
0:46:50 with a certain amount of reckless abandon
0:46:52 to what we think that we probably need,
0:46:54 which you probably need to get rid of
0:46:56 if you’re gonna live the greatest life possible.
0:46:59 So that’s kind of what I would have
0:47:01 to answer the legacy question with.
0:47:05 – Beautiful response and what a nice story.
0:47:06 What is the name of your daughter?
0:47:07 What’s her name?
0:47:09 – Ken, K-I-N.
0:47:11 – And how old is she now?
0:47:14 – She’ll be 24 in October.
0:47:15 – And how’s she doing now?
0:47:17 Just curious, like what does she have to do?
0:47:22 – Well, again, she’s a miracle because, you know,
0:47:26 I knew that when she graduated from college,
0:47:27 she didn’t speak any English.
0:47:28 We didn’t speak Spanish.
0:47:29 There’s no language.
0:47:30 I mean, think about that.
0:47:33 Come to America at 10 and you don’t have any language
0:47:34 and you don’t have any school.
0:47:35 What are you gonna do with that?
0:47:38 And so because she has a beautiful brain, you know,
0:47:42 God put a beautiful brain inside of her and we saw that
0:47:44 and we knew that our job was again
0:47:47 to manifest the potential not to save a life
0:47:50 that we did, you know, what we had to do
0:47:53 so that she could live her life with the normal crap
0:47:55 that all of us have to deal with day in and day out
0:47:59 but find your way beyond the stuff that you didn’t ask for.
0:48:03 And so we couldn’t be more, you know, proud of her
0:48:05 for what she has done,
0:48:07 but have been gifted with the opportunity
0:48:09 to play that role in her life.
0:48:11 – We’ll be right back
0:48:13 after a quick break from our sponsors.
0:48:17 Yeah, fam, if you’re anything like me,
0:48:18 you didn’t start your business
0:48:22 to spend all your time managing finances,
0:48:24 budgeting, invoicing and tax prep,
0:48:28 not exactly the fun part of entrepreneurship.
0:48:31 My COO Jason is great at the finance stuff,
0:48:33 but even he doesn’t wanna switch
0:48:35 between five different apps for banking,
0:48:38 expense tracking and contractor payments.
0:48:40 We wanted a tool that could just do it all
0:48:42 and save us our time.
0:48:43 And guess what?
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0:49:48 They also offer an optional paid product, Found Plus.
0:49:52 (whooshing)
0:49:55 – So let’s move on to the last step in preparation,
0:49:56 which is around resources.
0:50:00 I think this is very important and often kind of neglected.
0:50:03 So what should we consider when we think about resources?
0:50:05 And aside from the obvious stuff like money.
0:50:09 – Well, resources are extraordinarily important
0:50:12 and an inventory should be taken other resources
0:50:14 before you actively start pursuing your goal
0:50:17 because an adequate resource inventory
0:50:21 is directly tied to your level of confidence.
0:50:25 And as you’re confident and you trust in your preparation,
0:50:27 then your anxiety drops.
0:50:28 And as your anxiety drops,
0:50:29 you’re gonna be a much better performer.
0:50:32 Your timing is gonna be superior,
0:50:35 which is what we need to be able to get
0:50:38 our goal aspiration launched correctly
0:50:40 to gain initial momentum,
0:50:42 to gradually pick up the steam
0:50:44 where we get into belief that we can actually do it,
0:50:47 that transforms to knowing that we can do it,
0:50:49 to being able to complete the goal itself.
0:50:53 When I look at the resources that we need,
0:50:57 and it doesn’t need to be enough for the entire project,
0:51:00 it needs to be enough to get started with responsibly.
0:51:02 So we need, what do we need?
0:51:05 Well, we need time and energy for sure.
0:51:08 We need, what?
0:51:12 We need materials and supplies, absolutely.
0:51:14 We need skills and knowledge.
0:51:16 Yep, we also need a team.
0:51:17 We got the right team.
0:51:20 Yep, do we have a plan?
0:51:24 Yep, I mean, do we have the financial resources
0:51:27 to at least initially get this started?
0:51:31 All of those have to be answered in the affirmative
0:51:33 to, again, be in trust.
0:51:37 And when we’re in trust, again, anxiety drops,
0:51:38 confidence is up,
0:51:40 and that’s the way that you wanna
0:51:42 always actively start pursuing your goal.
0:51:43 I have observed, though,
0:51:46 that many people are extraordinarily deficient
0:51:49 and lax in their attention to resources.
0:51:51 They feel like, well, if I don’t get going now
0:51:54 as quickly as possible,
0:51:55 then it means I don’t trust the universe
0:51:56 to provide when it should.
0:51:59 Therefore, the universe is gonna take away from me
0:51:59 that privilege.
0:52:00 It’s not gonna support me
0:52:02 ’cause I don’t have enough faith in it.
0:52:04 Or somebody’s gonna jump in line,
0:52:05 so I gotta get going now
0:52:07 because I’m afraid that I’ll get pushed
0:52:08 to the back of the line.
0:52:09 I mean, none of that is true.
0:52:11 That’s all mythology.
0:52:13 But yet, that’s the way the human mindset
0:52:14 thinks about this type of stuff
0:52:17 because it’s basically a catastrophizer.
0:52:22 And that’s why when we do our homework, again,
0:52:24 do the homework first and then the test is easy,
0:52:26 why we always wanna do that
0:52:28 so that we can check off in trust
0:52:30 that we have adequate resources to get started,
0:52:32 something most people don’t do.
0:52:34 – Yeah, and I feel like most people,
0:52:35 especially young people,
0:52:39 they concentrate more on getting investment and money
0:52:43 rather than focusing on building their skills and learning.
0:52:48 I’ve noticed this a lot with people around my age and younger.
0:52:49 So do you wanna talk about the importance
0:52:53 of getting skills before you start your task?
0:52:55 – I do, it’s like I’ve always said
0:52:59 that you can never have enough skills
0:53:03 and you also need a lot of space to be able to create
0:53:06 in kind of my suggestion to people is
0:53:11 that you’re only as strong as your toolkit
0:53:14 is of skills to be able to be applied.
0:53:18 And you must have a minimum amount of skills
0:53:21 that should be vetted accurately
0:53:23 before you start pursuing your goal.
0:53:27 You must also have adequate space and flexibility
0:53:32 to be able to absorb some of the unanticipated consequences
0:53:33 that always shows up.
0:53:35 Like it always takes us twice as long
0:53:37 and maybe costs twice as much as you think
0:53:38 that it’s going to.
0:53:42 And I’m just gonna suggest that you don’t try to have a budget
0:53:44 that where everything has to go perfectly
0:53:47 for things to go right, I don’t like that.
0:53:49 I like the idea of some elbow room
0:53:53 for the unanticipated things that may be arising.
0:53:55 And as long as we kind of hold that sacred,
0:54:00 and I will also say that there are points in our life
0:54:03 where things are moving right along
0:54:05 that don’t require us.
0:54:08 I mean, I guess there’s always the opportunity
0:54:09 to jump in and screw it up.
0:54:11 There’s no shortage of that.
0:54:13 But when things are going too good,
0:54:16 sometimes I feel that’s where you wanna ride the wave
0:54:17 and don’t try to tinker with things
0:54:19 or push things too fast.
0:54:21 But when you’re in that situation,
0:54:23 kind of clean things up as much as possible,
0:54:25 clean out your garage, throw away stuff,
0:54:27 create space for better stuff to land
0:54:29 because it certainly will.
0:54:31 And if you have opportunities
0:54:34 that wanna find their way into your life,
0:54:35 but there’s no place to land
0:54:37 because your life is too cluttered with junk,
0:54:38 then it’s gonna move on.
0:54:39 And so I’m just suggesting
0:54:42 that you continually kind of weed the garden.
0:54:45 You prune all the stuff that’s extraneous to your life
0:54:48 that you don’t need so that there’s space to land
0:54:50 and that you always be thinking about
0:54:53 what is the skill that I need next
0:54:55 for this forever changing world
0:54:58 that will be capitalized on by those
0:55:00 that have the readiness of the other stone.
0:55:03 – I love this conversation.
0:55:05 We’re getting so many good tips
0:55:08 around how we can prepare for our goals.
0:55:09 But I wanna talk about what happens
0:55:11 when we actually start taking action.
0:55:14 You’ve got phases like the honeymoon phase
0:55:16 and the daily grind phase, which you mentioned earlier.
0:55:18 Can you talk to us about the different stages
0:55:21 of performance and what we need to know?
0:55:25 – Yes, I feel that we need to have a clear understanding
0:55:30 of what the different stages of progress
0:55:33 that we will be going through
0:55:36 from starting to pursue our goal
0:55:39 to the achievement of our goal.
0:55:43 The very first phase of this is what I call start.
0:55:46 And when we get to a point
0:55:47 where we have the preparation readiness
0:55:50 and we know it because it’s been vetted,
0:55:53 it’s extremely important that you have a thoroughly vetted
0:55:56 and rehearsed starting procedure
0:55:59 to make sure that you get out of the gate cleanly
0:56:03 and you hit an early objective
0:56:06 that confirms that goal progress
0:56:08 is now up and running and underway.
0:56:11 Like let’s say you take a horse in the Kentucky derby
0:56:13 that’s favored to win.
0:56:15 Well, if it trips out of the gate
0:56:18 because it hasn’t practiced its starting procedure,
0:56:20 then the horse that should have won gets last.
0:56:22 And it’s exactly the same thing for us.
0:56:26 So please make sure that you have a well-organized
0:56:29 and rehearsed starting process
0:56:31 that ends in a certain achievement
0:56:34 and objective that demonstrates that goal pursuit
0:56:38 now is actually formally up and underway.
0:56:40 – Can you give a concrete example of that
0:56:42 just to be super clear, yeah?
0:56:43 – I absolutely can.
0:56:48 So let’s say that the initiative of a goal launch
0:56:53 would be to have our first five figure month, $10,000, right?
0:56:55 So that’s the target.
0:56:56 I mean, that’s not the goal,
0:56:58 but that’s the first target
0:57:01 because we know that if we had 10,000 a month,
0:57:02 this is for real.
0:57:04 It’s like we’re no longer talking about this,
0:57:06 like this is for real.
0:57:08 And why having that target
0:57:12 and declaring that target in advance is important
0:57:15 is because when you hit it,
0:57:17 it confirms that the preparation was correct.
0:57:19 It also confirms that the leadership
0:57:21 that created the preparation processes
0:57:23 were correct and should be followed.
0:57:26 It also gives the team confidence
0:57:28 that we can actually do this.
0:57:32 You always wanna start off on a positive when
0:57:34 that doesn’t need to be big
0:57:37 that confirms that we’re actually in process
0:57:39 and moving forward.
0:57:42 So once we’ve hit that lift off point,
0:57:46 then we move into what I call the honeymoon phase
0:57:48 and the honeymoon phase is where,
0:57:50 okay, now we hit this lift off,
0:57:51 we have this confirmation,
0:57:54 we’re now at 10,000 a month.
0:57:56 This means that it’s gonna be smooth sailing
0:57:57 to the winter circle.
0:57:58 Well, hold on a second.
0:57:59 It doesn’t really mean that.
0:58:02 It means that we’ve just gotten out of the gate smoothly.
0:58:03 And so the honeymoon phase is that
0:58:06 when everybody’s hyper excited,
0:58:08 then they go out and they become very sloppy
0:58:09 and relaxed about scheduling.
0:58:12 They don’t look at their policies.
0:58:14 They may start overspending certain things.
0:58:15 You see this in startups all the time
0:58:17 where they’re not even making any money.
0:58:18 And then they’re going out
0:58:19 and spending all this raised money
0:58:21 on stuff that doesn’t matter
0:58:22 because they already think
0:58:23 that they’re in the winter circle.
0:58:26 So it’s a complete abuse of the honeymoon,
0:58:29 but we know that when we’re in a honeymoon,
0:58:32 there’s always the opportunity for reckless choices
0:58:34 that can really hurt us.
0:58:37 And that’s why I suggest that you just be mindful
0:58:41 that at some point the honeymoon is gonna wear off
0:58:42 because they all do.
0:58:44 And when the honeymoon wears off
0:58:48 and you feel like there’s a loss in momentum or enthusiasm,
0:58:49 that doesn’t mean that it’s the wrong planner.
0:58:50 You can’t do it.
0:58:51 That’s supposed to happen.
0:58:53 That means you’re now living in reality.
0:58:55 It’s actually something that you actually wanna see
0:58:58 because that level of enthusiasm cannot cure you forever.
0:59:00 It’s not possible.
0:59:01 So we need to be aware of that
0:59:03 because we’re not aware that the honeymoon
0:59:06 is supposed to wear off when the motivation drops
0:59:08 and we all think, oh, bad plan, bad management.
0:59:09 Maybe I should get out
0:59:11 while I have at least some resources left.
0:59:13 Really bad idea, misinterpretation
0:59:16 of the circumstances completely.
0:59:21 What I will say also is that the next phase of this,
0:59:24 once we get beyond the honeymoon phase
0:59:26 and we have our reality check where we reconcile things,
0:59:28 we get things back on track,
0:59:30 then we may think, well, okay,
0:59:31 now we’ve made this huge correction,
0:59:33 now I know we can do it.
0:59:34 Well, you kind of don’t
0:59:38 because the next thing coming is gonna be the daily grind.
0:59:43 And this is where your plan is now facing reality
0:59:45 for the very first time.
0:59:47 Prior to that, it’s been a conjecture,
0:59:50 a hypothesis or a presumption,
0:59:52 but it’s never been fully tested.
0:59:55 And we know that whatever the weaknesses are
0:59:58 in our preparation will surface during the honeymoon phase.
1:00:01 That’s what it’s for.
1:00:03 It’s supposed to reveal to us
1:00:05 what we don’t know that we need to know
1:00:06 so that we can get it.
1:00:11 It’s not a sign that we were behind or it was a bad choice,
1:00:14 even though people will oftentimes misinterpret it
1:00:17 as that and quit prematurely.
1:00:20 It’s something that we have to anticipate showing up.
1:00:23 So for example, I would say, okay, everybody,
1:00:25 now that we’re through the honeymoon phase,
1:00:29 I just wanna say that the daily grind is now in front of us
1:00:32 and just know that there will be difficult moments
1:00:34 that show up, it’s supposed to be hard.
1:00:37 This is gonna reveal to us what we need to learn.
1:00:38 This is our friend.
1:00:39 I’m glad it’s here.
1:00:42 It helps us get prepared in a way that we cannot lose,
1:00:44 but let’s not misinterpret this as something
1:00:47 that we did wrong or incorrectly or we can’t do it.
1:00:52 You can see how easily people misinterpret situations
1:00:54 unless they’re informed that this is gonna happen.
1:00:57 So here’s the promise in the daily grind phase,
1:01:00 if you’re looking at the right metrics
1:01:02 and you’ve got the right plan
1:01:04 and you got the metrics to confirm
1:01:06 that you’re making progress, you’re gonna get up one day
1:01:09 and you’re gonna get up and believe that you can do it.
1:01:11 Like, you know what, I really now believe I can do it.
1:01:13 If he can do it, then I can do it.
1:01:14 There’s no difference.
1:01:17 But then we need to go from believing we can do it
1:01:20 to knowing we can do it, it’s different.
1:01:23 So when I was working with Dave Asbury at Bulletproof,
1:01:24 helping him build Bulletproof, I said,
1:01:28 “Look, Dave, we both believe that Bulletproof
1:01:31 “can be really big, but we need to now know
1:01:32 “that we can do it.
1:01:36 “What do we need to do to go from believing to knowing?”
1:01:37 He said, “Well, we need more inventory
1:01:41 “and we need more people at the higher levels
1:01:42 “in the marketing department.”
1:01:44 He said, “Well, what is it gonna take to do that?”
1:01:46 He said, “Probably a couple million dollars.”
1:01:48 I said, “Well, you know all the guys in Silicon Valley,
1:01:50 “you go up there and raise that, let’s get this done.”
1:01:52 So he did it, got it done.
1:01:54 And at that point, Dave and I both knew
1:01:56 that Bulletproof is gonna be worth hundreds of millions
1:01:59 of dollars, which approved itself to be.
1:02:01 And we did kind of declare what it is
1:02:04 that we needed to get to take us from belief to knowing.
1:02:07 That’s a really essential step here.
1:02:09 And then please everybody listen up.
1:02:11 Then there’s the final step that puts us
1:02:13 into the Winter Circle.
1:02:14 Once you know you can do it,
1:02:17 I can only say that there’s always time to screw it up.
1:02:20 And this is how people screw it up.
1:02:23 Until you get to the Winter Circle, you’re not there yet.
1:02:25 And if you trip before you get there,
1:02:27 don’t cross the line, then you don’t win.
1:02:32 So when you see that it’s possible and probable
1:02:35 that you’re gonna be able to achieve your goal,
1:02:40 don’t try to speed up to try to get to the finish line faster
1:02:43 to enjoy the chocolate cake and the champagne
1:02:45 waiting at the finish line,
1:02:47 because it’s never over until it’s over.
1:02:49 And I’ve seen people trip at the last second
1:02:50 and screw things up,
1:02:53 never to eventually get past the finish line.
1:02:55 Please do not do that.
1:02:58 Or don’t try to control things so much
1:02:59 thinking that you’re being safe.
1:03:02 ‘Cause sometimes when you slow things down way too much,
1:03:04 you start to daydream.
1:03:07 You think the safety is in the speed, it’s not.
1:03:09 If you’re going too slow and you start to daydream,
1:03:10 then you’re at equal hazard
1:03:12 as if you’re going way too fast.
1:03:13 So don’t change your pace.
1:03:16 Keep your pace, be vigilant, keep your eye on the ball,
1:03:18 keep executing what has to go right
1:03:20 until you’re way beyond the finish line.
1:03:22 Once you’re beyond the finish line,
1:03:24 then you can celebrate in Victory Circle.
1:03:25 So as long as we’re aware
1:03:28 that there are these five different steps and stages
1:03:32 that we go through from act or pursue the goal
1:03:34 to arrival in the Winter Circle,
1:03:37 and we can name where we are and we know what that means,
1:03:39 then that’s our safety net for sticking together
1:03:43 and working together as a well-organized, coherent team
1:03:45 that can get things done most efficiently
1:03:46 and get us into the Winter Circle
1:03:48 with least time and effort and expense.
1:03:50 – This is great.
1:03:51 I have a question for you.
1:03:55 Do you think that every goal is possible
1:03:57 or do you think that there are some signs
1:04:00 that should be like abort mission,
1:04:02 you should stop, you should quit?
1:04:04 Or do you feel like anything is possible
1:04:05 with the right preparation and plan?
1:04:10 – Well, I think again, if we look at plans of preparation,
1:04:12 that’s not really reality.
1:04:14 What it is, it’s our best estimate
1:04:16 about what we presume reality to be
1:04:18 and what we presume the path to get from where we are
1:04:20 to where we want to get to is.
1:04:21 It’s not reality.
1:04:27 Reality is when our plan meets real time
1:04:31 and at that point, then we can make the adjustments necessary
1:04:33 to carry momentum forward.
1:04:35 So I think we have to be really mindful about that,
1:04:39 that plans by their inherent nature designed to change
1:04:43 and goals that we have are meant to be modified
1:04:46 based upon the reality of the opportunities
1:04:48 that present themselves in process.
1:04:51 But the human mindset that I said,
1:04:54 that human way of thinking that doesn’t serve us well,
1:04:58 it will make us think, well, if you’ve declared a goal,
1:05:01 you have to keep your word by maintaining
1:05:03 the original goal as stated,
1:05:05 otherwise you’re going back on your word.
1:05:07 And that’s not true at all, never.
1:05:10 Because all the greatest goals always happen,
1:05:13 like by accident, or there are a bit of a deviation
1:05:15 that comes off something that we presume to be true,
1:05:18 but now we found out that it was slightly different.
1:05:20 But we had the courage to recognize
1:05:22 that we were being gifted with a different direction
1:05:24 that could take us to a bigger, better, faster
1:05:27 that we could not have conceived of in advance.
1:05:31 So that’s how I would answer that question.
1:05:35 And I do feel that if you find yourself being in blind faith,
1:05:36 doing something with the hope
1:05:39 that it will take you to the finish line, don’t do it.
1:05:41 Because unless there’s a body of evidence
1:05:45 that confirms to you the probability of moving forward
1:05:48 will manifest the completion of the next step,
1:05:50 then I would suggest that you don’t do it.
1:05:55 Because I feel far too often people believe
1:05:56 that I’m a person of my word,
1:05:58 therefore I have to stick rigidly to something
1:06:00 that I declared.
1:06:02 And if I don’t do that, then my word can’t be trusted.
1:06:03 That is absolutely not true,
1:06:08 because the plan and what you proposed to be true
1:06:11 was an estimate based on a presumed reality.
1:06:15 And if the presumed reality is like, don’t do this like now,
1:06:18 then I would suggest that you heed that.
1:06:22 And I do feel that in our lifespan development,
1:06:24 there is a natural period of our life
1:06:26 where we are big dreamers.
1:06:31 But my hope is is that we don’t invest too much
1:06:35 in a dream that has too many reasons that are informing us
1:06:38 it’s either not the right time to pursue it
1:06:40 or we’re not properly prepared
1:06:43 or maybe there’s not the right fit
1:06:45 because we don’t have the assets actually to do
1:06:48 this. So I’m a little bit kind of cautious
1:06:49 on all of these absolutes.
1:06:52 I feel that they need to be tempered
1:06:54 with an interpretation of the reality
1:06:56 as it currently exists at the moment of time
1:06:59 while you’re making decisions.
1:07:02 – That was exactly what I hoped you were gonna
1:07:05 kind of go off on because I feel like people are so attached
1:07:06 to like that one outcome.
1:07:10 Like I want to be a famous NBA player.
1:07:14 And so few people achieve that goal,
1:07:16 but really maybe they just want to be somebody
1:07:20 who inspires other people of their ethnicity or something.
1:07:22 And it’s really not about playing basketball.
1:07:24 It’s the impact that they’re making on the world.
1:07:26 – Yeah, and I have something to say to that if I may,
1:07:29 is that like, you know, my definition of a champion
1:07:31 is a manifest or a gifts.
1:07:33 Like if you’re manifesting your gifts
1:07:34 then you’re a freaking champion in my opinion
1:07:36 because, you know, here’s what I do know
1:07:38 is that there’s only one of us in all the creation.
1:07:41 There’s never gonna be another you.
1:07:42 I mean, think about that.
1:07:44 There’s seven and a half billion people
1:07:46 on this planet right now and there’s only one of you.
1:07:49 And what that means is that each and every one of us
1:07:52 has a unique capacity to influence humanity
1:07:54 in a way that nobody else can do it.
1:07:56 You know, the question is that, you know,
1:07:59 can we live within that and can be okay with that?
1:08:00 Because here’s the reality.
1:08:04 Some people are meant to have the aspiration
1:08:06 of influencing a billion people.
1:08:09 Yeah, there are some people that are not meant to do that.
1:08:10 They can’t even think about that.
1:08:12 They want to look through a microscope,
1:08:16 an electron microscope, and they want to influence a nano.
1:08:18 They can’t think in terms of billions.
1:08:20 Does that make it any less significant?
1:08:24 No, it does not because everything that happens
1:08:26 is the product of every other thing that’s happening
1:08:29 in the world like simultaneously.
1:08:34 So I think we’re the problem because we assign the value
1:08:36 to what we believe to be true
1:08:39 that I don’t think represents what it really is.
1:08:41 Like, you know, for example,
1:08:46 a teammate may enable the team star to get the MVP,
1:08:52 but was the MVP more valuable than the person
1:08:55 that gave the MVP what they needed
1:08:56 to do their job correctly?
1:08:59 You can’t say that that’s true, it’s not.
1:09:00 You know, every one of us,
1:09:03 I think that we should look at team as like a linkage
1:09:08 rather than a hub with spokes.
1:09:13 It’s a linkage where each of the links in the chain,
1:09:16 someone that possesses that spot,
1:09:18 and their unique contribution contributes
1:09:20 to the integrity of the whole.
1:09:22 Therefore, the output capacity of the team
1:09:25 is a sum total of all the parts,
1:09:27 which you can’t really separate one being more important
1:09:30 than the other because in a certain sense,
1:09:31 it’s really not.
1:09:35 And I feel that far too often the rule is
1:09:38 people dramatically discount the value of what they do
1:09:39 because they’re comparing themselves
1:09:42 against everybody else’s yardstick.
1:09:44 And I don’t think that we should be doing that.
1:09:45 You know, there’s only one of us,
1:09:48 and if we take ownership of what we’re best at,
1:09:49 we’re passionate about what we’re doing,
1:09:52 and we’re giving tremendous value to humanity,
1:09:53 we’re honoring our gifts,
1:09:55 we’re showing other people what’s possible,
1:09:57 we’re saying thank you to those people that helped us
1:09:59 while we’re creating those things that are unique to us.
1:10:01 To me, man, to me, that’s the champion.
1:10:03 The champion is not the hyperachiever
1:10:06 that mows everybody down in the process to get what he wants.
1:10:09 That’s a self-serving narcissist, in my opinion.
1:10:12 So there’s this whole other definition
1:10:14 that I think that we need to encourage each other to pursue,
1:10:17 which is our uniqueness and our unique gifts.
1:10:20 – That is super inspiring, Dr. Spencer.
1:10:22 This whole conversation has been amazing.
1:10:24 So I’m gonna wrap the interview up
1:10:26 with a couple of questions that I ask all my guests,
1:10:28 and then we do something fun at the end of the year with them.
1:10:29 So the first one is,
1:10:31 what is one actionable thing
1:10:33 that my young and profitors can do today
1:10:35 to be more profiting tomorrow?
1:10:39 – I would say, what is the skill that you need to build
1:10:41 that you don’t have, what you need?
1:10:47 – Okay, and what is your secret to profiting in life?
1:10:52 – I can be absolutely explicitly clear on this.
1:10:56 Number one, the reason why I made an Olympic team,
1:10:58 I showed my art in the best galleries in New York City,
1:11:00 why I’ve worked with some of the greatest
1:11:02 Olympic achievers of our time,
1:11:05 is that I was fearless in showing up and answering the call
1:11:09 when me, Jeff, gets the insight,
1:11:11 and I get the calling to show up and do something.
1:11:13 I’m fearless about doing that.
1:11:16 And so I’m not particularly ambitious
1:11:19 about creating something to grandstand and showcase myself
1:11:21 ’cause I don’t care about that.
1:11:23 I do, though, care deeply
1:11:26 about being able to answer the call
1:11:28 that if I have been called into service
1:11:30 to do anything like adopting my daughter,
1:11:32 I will show up faithfully and fearlessly
1:11:34 to execute that to the nth degree.
1:11:37 – Amazing.
1:11:39 Well, where can everybody learn more about you
1:11:41 and what you do?
1:11:46 – Well, probably the best place is T-PeriodMe/ChampionsExperience.
1:11:52 You know, that’s my, you know, telegram,
1:11:54 and that’s where it kind of posts
1:11:55 what I’m doing and what I’m up to.
1:11:57 That would be, by far, the best place to go
1:12:01 to see where I am and what I’m up to next.
1:12:01 – Awesome.
1:12:03 We’re gonna stick that link in the show notes.
1:12:04 Thank you so much, Dr. Spencer.
1:12:05 It was a pleasure.
1:12:07 – Well, I can’t say enough for the opportunity.
1:12:08 Be well.
1:12:09 And remember, everybody,
1:12:10 there’s always room to talk for the best.
1:12:11 Be well.
1:12:12 We’ll talk soon.
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