AI transcript
0:00:03 Craft is where function meets style.
0:00:06 It’s where precision meets performance.
0:00:11 It’s where doing it yourself meets showing the world what you’re capable of.
0:00:18 The all-new Acura ADX is a compact SUV crafted to take you where you need to go, without any compromises.
0:00:25 With available Google built-in, all-wheel drive, and a 15-speaker bang and all-of-some premium sound system,
0:00:31 the all-new ADX is crafted to be as alive to the world’s possibilities as you are.
0:00:34 The all-new ADX, crafted to match your energy.
0:00:38 Acura, precision crafted performance.
0:00:40 Learn more at Acura.com.
0:00:44 Now streaming.
0:00:46 What do you know about the happy face killer?
0:00:48 He’s my father.
0:00:50 It’s so good to see you, Missy.
0:00:52 Experience the thrilling new series.
0:00:54 He said he killed another woman.
0:00:56 Inspired by a true life story.
0:00:59 If I don’t deal with him, he will never leave us alone.
0:01:01 You don’t see how the words sing to you.
0:01:03 Annalee Ashford and Dennis Quaid star.
0:01:06 I am not responsible for what my dad did.
0:01:08 Let’s go on how you hoped.
0:01:12 Happy Face, new series now streaming exclusively on Paramount+.
0:01:17 There’s over 500,000 small businesses in BC and no two are alike.
0:01:18 I’m a carpenter.
0:01:19 I’m a graphic designer.
0:01:21 I sell dog socks online.
0:01:25 That’s why BCAA created one size doesn’t fit all insurance.
0:01:28 It’s customizable based on your unique needs.
0:01:33 So whether you manage rental properties or paint pet portraits, you can protect your small
0:01:36 business with BC’s most trusted insurance brand.
0:01:42 Visit bcaa.com slash small business and use promo code radio to receive $50 off.
0:01:43 Conditions apply.
0:01:47 I’m Scott Galloway and this is No Mercy, No Malice.
0:01:51 Young men face a variety of obstacles to thrive.
0:01:56 One of those obstacles, on-demand porn.
0:01:59 Porn, as read by George Hahn.
0:02:06 Quote, pornography is the McDonald’s of sex.
0:02:11 Fast, convenient, and utterly divorced from nutrition.
0:02:12 Unquote.
0:02:14 Anonymous.
0:02:18 I was at Mobile World Congress in Barcelona earlier this month.
0:02:25 A young man, married with two kids who founded a tech firm, approached me and asked if I’d mentor him.
0:02:29 I told him, boss, you should mentor me.
0:02:33 I mentor young men who are struggling and you are clearly thriving.
0:02:35 He said, I have an addiction.
0:02:38 I said, what’s the addiction?
0:02:40 Porn.
0:02:45 As soon as the words left his mouth, I sensed shame.
0:02:48 Within 15 seconds, he couldn’t look me in the eye.
0:02:51 And within 60 seconds, he’d fled.
0:02:57 All addictions are wrapped in some shame, but not in equal amounts.
0:03:02 Tell someone you’re sober from pills or booze and you’ll get praise and admiration.
0:03:06 The same is not true for people with a porn addiction.
0:03:13 In the past six months, a half-dozen men have told me their drug of choice is porn.
0:03:21 I suspect they aren’t outliers, but canaries sounding an alarm from the most opaque sector of the addiction economy.
0:03:32 At the turn of the millennium, there were no social media platforms, there wasn’t enough bandwidth to run video, and Amazon was a bookstore.
0:03:35 But online porn dates back to 1995.
0:03:47 By 2004, online porn was so ubiquitous that Avenue Q won six Tony Awards, including Best Musical, with a song called, wait for it,
0:03:49 The Internet is for Porn.
0:03:53 Nobody doubted that claim then, and nobody doubts it now.
0:03:56 But how much of today’s Internet is porn?
0:03:59 A. We’re not sure.
0:04:05 Some estimates put porn-related traffic as high as one-third of all Internet traffic.
0:04:12 Pornhub, the leading distributor of free, ad-supported porn, ranks in the top 20 websites globally.
0:04:16 Ten of its competitors rank in the top 100.
0:04:23 Porn addiction isn’t listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.
0:04:27 But in a study of 2,000 American adults,
0:04:34 11% of men and 3% of women reported some agreement with the statement,
0:04:36 I am addicted to pornography.
0:04:43 Fewer people than report alcohol abuse, but more than admit to a problem with gaming or gambling.
0:04:51 On my podcast, Dr. Anna Lemke, a professor of psychiatry at Stanford and the author of Dopamine Nation,
0:04:53 said that beginning in the early 2000s,
0:04:59 she saw warning signs in male patients who self-described as porn addicts
0:05:01 and cited the Internet as the culprit.
0:05:06 Since then, there’s been an escalation in people presenting with digital addictions.
0:05:14 Porn addiction may be difficult to isolate within the broader and more diffuse Internet addiction,
0:05:17 but compared to other Internet-enabled compulsions,
0:05:19 there’s relatively little peer-reviewed research.
0:05:25 My thesis? Few academics want to be known as the porn professor.
0:05:27 See above. Shame.
0:05:33 Humans came off the savanna hardwired for addiction.
0:05:37 The dopamine rush a hunter felt when taking down a mammoth
0:05:41 is neurologically the same feeling a gambler gets when betting.
0:05:47 Our instinct to gorge whenever we see food was honed during millennia of scarcity,
0:05:51 and it’s that same instinct the food industrial complex leverages
0:05:55 to keep people eating long past the point of being satiated.
0:05:58 Ours is an addiction economy.
0:06:03 The most valuable companies arbitrage the disparity
0:06:06 between our instincts and industrial production.
0:06:11 On the Internet, everyone has access to everyone,
0:06:16 and the digitization of a market results in a winner-take-most ecosystem.
0:06:22 Dating apps sort potential partners into a small group of haves
0:06:25 and a titanic group of have-nots.
0:06:31 On Hinge, the top 10% of men receive 60% of the likes.
0:06:35 The comparable figure for women is 45%.
0:06:41 Online porn exploits the lack of mating opportunities for men.
0:06:46 The most recent figures for A-Lo, the company behind Pornhub, Brazzers,
0:06:48 RedTube, U-Porn, and X-Tube,
0:06:53 showed 2018 revenue of $460 million,
0:06:56 with a profit margin of 50%.
0:07:05 Meanwhile, OnlyFans generated $6.6 billion in revenue in 2023.
0:07:10 The firm has more than 300 million registered accounts,
0:07:12 of which 70% are male.
0:07:17 On the other end of the Internet connection are 4.1 million creators,
0:07:19 84% of them women.
0:07:24 While OnlyFans is known for its subscription model,
0:07:29 one-off transactions are driving 88% of the revenue growth.
0:07:32 These tips are an arbitrage on the disparity
0:07:34 between the biological impulse to mate
0:07:37 and the lack of mating opportunities.
0:07:41 There are fewer economically and emotionally viable men,
0:07:45 and too few venues where a man can develop the skills
0:07:49 to express romantic interest while making a woman feel safe.
0:07:54 Pro tip, research shows women are attracted to men
0:07:56 who signal three primary attributes,
0:08:00 resources, intellect, and kindness.
0:08:04 In the VHS and DVD eras,
0:08:07 porn consumption was a wealth transfer from men
0:08:09 to the adult entertainment industry
0:08:11 and mom-and-pop video store owners.
0:08:14 In the OnlyFans era,
0:08:17 it’s a wealth transfer from hundreds of millions of men
0:08:21 to a handful of platforms and tens of thousands of women.
0:08:24 During its peak growth,
0:08:27 OnlyFans was adding the population of Atlanta
0:08:30 to its registered user base every day.
0:08:36 The average OnlyFans creator grosses roughly $1,800 annually.
0:08:40 One analysis found that creators in the top 0.1%
0:08:45 collect 100 times what those in the top 10% bring in.
0:08:52 One OnlyFans earner grossed $43 million in a single year.
0:08:56 A common query I receive at speaking gigs
0:08:58 is who is most vulnerable to AI.
0:08:59 Easy.
0:09:04 OnlyFans is ground zero for disruption from AI bots.
0:09:06 This is not a good thing,
0:09:09 as there will be less friction to becoming less social,
0:09:10 less mammalian.
0:09:14 We are what we pay attention to.
0:09:17 More research is needed, see above,
0:09:20 but one study found that porn consumption
0:09:23 explained 9% of the variation
0:09:25 in men’s sexual objectification of women.
0:09:28 Among men who preferred degrading pornography,
0:09:32 the variance increased to 20%.
0:09:36 A longitudinal survey of 962 Dutch adolescents
0:09:40 found exposure to porn among males
0:09:44 was a strong predictor of objectifying attitudes toward females.
0:09:50 We pathologize males attracted to misogynistic communities
0:09:54 as incels, potential mass shooters, and sex criminals,
0:09:57 but these men are statistical outliers.
0:09:59 However,
0:10:04 we may be evolving a new species of asocial, asexual male.
0:10:06 Homo Solo.
0:10:12 Homo Solo’s inability to develop romantic skills
0:10:15 means he’s primarily a danger to himself,
0:10:17 as he’s likely to be less happy,
0:10:18 earn less money,
0:10:20 and die sooner.
0:10:24 Homo Solo’s AI girlfriend never says no,
0:10:27 is never tired, busy, or in a bad mood.
0:10:28 In other words,
0:10:30 she’s not human.
0:10:33 And that obviates the risk of rejection
0:10:35 and the other complexities of real-life relationships.
0:10:39 The skills developed, or not,
0:10:41 in the pursuit of organic love
0:10:43 are key skills that serve men well
0:10:46 in a variety of environments for the rest of their lives.
0:10:49 We’ve been taught to believe
0:10:50 that the menace to society
0:10:52 was the fraternity alpha male.
0:10:54 It isn’t.
0:10:58 Society is being subjected to the sociopathy
0:10:59 of a bunch of tech CEOs
0:11:01 who, in my view,
0:11:03 did not get laid enough as young men.
0:11:06 Most leaders, however,
0:11:08 hone skills from mating
0:11:10 that have been key to their success.
0:11:14 Show me a guy who is competent in a bar,
0:11:15 and I’ll show you someone
0:11:17 who can be reasonable in a boardroom.
0:11:20 Show me a guy who objectifies women,
0:11:23 building an app that pits women against one another
0:11:26 based solely on their physical attributes,
0:11:28 and I’ll show you Mark Zuckerberg,
0:11:30 and an app whose algorithms
0:11:32 encourage girls to sexualize themselves
0:11:36 and young people to generally feel shittier about themselves.
0:11:41 Sexual desire is fire.
0:11:43 Without this fire,
0:11:45 our species goes out of business.
0:11:46 Unfortunately,
0:11:50 we’ve built a fire-retardant generation.
0:11:53 Zoomers prefer staying home
0:11:55 and scrolling to going out,
0:11:57 and when they do venture out,
0:11:59 they’re less likely to visit a bar,
0:12:00 reducing the chances
0:12:02 they’ll make a series of bad decisions
0:12:03 that might pay off.
0:12:04 By the way,
0:12:07 I believe the anti-alcohol movement
0:12:09 is second only to remote work
0:12:11 in the damage it’s doing to young people.
0:12:14 The risk to a 25-year-old liver
0:12:16 is dwarfed by the social isolation
0:12:18 and loneliness epidemic
0:12:20 plaguing America’s youth.
0:12:23 Think of the most important things in your life,
0:12:25 who you decided to have kids with
0:12:27 and the friends you still count on.
0:12:28 Then ask,
0:12:30 did alcohol lubricate
0:12:32 the often awkward formation
0:12:34 and cementing of those bonds?
0:12:37 Despite the risk
0:12:38 to our one and only God,
0:12:40 shareholder value,
0:12:42 one-third of workers
0:12:44 say they’ve had a workplace romance.
0:12:46 This is verboten,
0:12:48 but it shouldn’t be.
0:12:51 Work is a great place to find a mate.
0:12:53 The rules don’t apply, however,
0:12:55 if you’re the founder of a tech firm.
0:12:56 See above men
0:12:57 who didn’t get laid in college.
0:12:59 The culture wars
0:13:01 are another fire retardant.
0:13:03 Richard Reeves,
0:13:04 the president of the
0:13:06 American Institute for Boys and Men,
0:13:08 recently told Vox
0:13:11 that men know what not to do on a date.
0:13:13 Don’t mansplain,
0:13:14 don’t be toxic,
0:13:15 don’t be a predator,
0:13:15 don’t be a creep.
0:13:18 But they’re clueless
0:13:21 about what to do on a date.
0:13:25 We’ve pathologized the pursuit of sex
0:13:28 and made porn the path
0:13:31 of exponentially less resistance.
0:13:34 In news that won’t surprise anyone,
0:13:37 dampening the fire that fuels casual sex
0:13:39 and dating has coincided
0:13:41 with the U.S. birth rate
0:13:42 hitting an all-time low.
0:13:45 Global birth rates
0:13:46 are also plummeting.
0:13:47 According to Pew,
0:13:51 63% of men under 30
0:13:51 are single,
0:13:54 compared with 34% of women,
0:13:55 i.e. the women
0:13:57 are dating older guys.
0:13:59 More than half
0:14:00 of single Americans
0:14:01 say they’re not currently
0:14:02 looking for a relationship
0:14:04 or casual dates.
0:14:06 Another study found
0:14:08 the percentage of sexually inactive men
0:14:09 ages 18 to 24
0:14:12 increased from 19% in 2002
0:14:15 to 31% in 2018.
0:14:18 The percentage of sexually inactive
0:14:19 young women
0:14:21 increased from 15%
0:14:23 to 19%
0:14:24 over the same period.
0:14:28 I graduated, barely,
0:14:29 from UCLA
0:14:31 with a 2.27 GPA.
0:14:33 I did, however,
0:14:34 go on campus
0:14:35 almost every day.
0:14:37 Specifically,
0:14:38 I left my fraternity
0:14:40 to venture on campus
0:14:41 as UCLA
0:14:42 in the 80s
0:14:44 was like a Cinemax film
0:14:45 set in Brentwood.
0:14:46 I would hang
0:14:47 at North Campus
0:14:48 with friends
0:14:48 and,
0:14:49 to be blunt,
0:14:51 hope to meet someone
0:14:52 I might,
0:14:52 note,
0:14:53 might,
0:14:54 is doing a lot of work,
0:14:56 have sex
0:14:56 and establish
0:14:58 a relationship with.
0:14:58 If I’d had
0:14:59 on-demand porn
0:15:00 on my phone
0:15:01 and computer,
0:15:02 I’m not sure
0:15:04 I would have graduated
0:15:05 as I would have lost
0:15:06 some of the incentive
0:15:08 to venture on campus.
0:15:10 I just read
0:15:10 the previous sentence
0:15:12 and it sounds crass
0:15:12 and shallow,
0:15:14 but it’s also accurate.
0:15:16 And that’s the rub,
0:15:17 so to speak.
0:15:19 Porn can reduce
0:15:19 your ambition
0:15:20 to take risks,
0:15:22 become a better person,
0:15:23 and build a better life.
0:15:25 The best thing
0:15:25 in my life
0:15:27 is raising two men
0:15:28 with a competent,
0:15:29 loving partner.
0:15:30 The catalyst
0:15:32 for me risking
0:15:32 humiliation,
0:15:34 approaching her
0:15:36 at the Raleigh Hotel pool,
0:15:37 and introducing myself
0:15:38 wasn’t a desire
0:15:39 to someday qualify
0:15:41 for lower car insurance rates,
0:15:43 but the desire
0:15:43 slash hope
0:15:45 to have sex.
0:15:46 By the way,
0:15:47 our oldest son’s
0:15:49 middle name is Raleigh,
0:15:50 and I’m taking him
0:15:51 on a college tour
0:15:51 next week.
0:15:55 The key to success
0:15:55 isn’t getting
0:15:56 an investor,
0:15:57 employer,
0:15:58 or woman
0:15:59 to say yes.
0:16:01 It’s putting yourself
0:16:01 in situations
0:16:03 where you take risks,
0:16:04 get a no,
0:16:06 and realize
0:16:07 you’re fine,
0:16:08 i.e.,
0:16:09 build resilience.
0:16:11 And while it’s great
0:16:13 that social norms
0:16:14 have helped more women
0:16:15 feel comfortable
0:16:16 asking men out,
0:16:17 the default setting,
0:16:18 the expectation,
0:16:20 continues to be
0:16:20 that men
0:16:22 make the first move.
0:16:24 Among Zoomers,
0:16:25 one study found
0:16:26 men paid for all
0:16:27 or most
0:16:28 of a couple’s dates
0:16:30 90% of the time.
0:16:31 On first dates,
0:16:33 80% of men
0:16:34 expect to pay
0:16:36 and 55% of women
0:16:37 expect him to pay.
0:16:39 I’ve told my boys
0:16:40 that whenever they are
0:16:41 in the company of women,
0:16:42 they pay.
0:16:44 Can’t wait for the shit
0:16:45 on that one.
0:16:47 I coach a number
0:16:48 of young men.
0:16:49 It’s unrealistic
0:16:50 to tell them
0:16:51 to abstain from porn.
0:16:53 And there is evidence
0:16:54 that porn consumption
0:16:56 is fine in moderation.
0:16:57 The problem
0:16:59 is losing the fire,
0:17:01 the sexual desire
0:17:02 that inspires you
0:17:03 to be a better man,
0:17:04 to have a plan
0:17:06 for economic viability,
0:17:07 to be fit,
0:17:08 to demonstrate
0:17:08 kindness,
0:17:09 intelligence,
0:17:10 and a willingness
0:17:11 to take risks,
0:17:13 to build resilience
0:17:14 and develop the ability
0:17:16 to express romantic interest
0:17:17 while making someone
0:17:18 feel safe.
0:17:21 We have companies
0:17:22 with infinite resources
0:17:23 and command
0:17:25 of godlike technology
0:17:26 all attempting
0:17:28 to convince young men
0:17:28 they can have
0:17:30 a reasonable facsimile
0:17:31 of life on a screen
0:17:32 with an algorithm.
0:17:35 The most frightening data
0:17:36 I’ve seen recently
0:17:38 is that 51% of men
0:17:40 aged 18 to 24
0:17:42 have never asked
0:17:43 a woman out in person.
0:17:45 I find this
0:17:46 so fucking depressing.
0:17:49 Romantic comedies
0:17:49 are two hours,
0:17:50 not 15 minutes,
0:17:52 for a reason.
0:17:54 Relationships
0:17:54 and mating
0:17:55 are hard
0:17:57 and worth it.
0:18:00 We need more venues,
0:18:01 national service,
0:18:02 third places,
0:18:03 freshman seats,
0:18:04 the office,
0:18:05 where young people
0:18:06 can meet.
0:18:08 And men
0:18:08 need to recognize
0:18:10 there’s a profit motive
0:18:11 in dampening
0:18:12 the flames of desire
0:18:13 and motivation
0:18:14 to become better men.
0:18:15 In sum,
0:18:16 as I said
0:18:17 on Bill Maher’s show,
0:18:19 young men
0:18:20 need to get out
0:18:20 of the house,
0:18:22 take risks,
0:18:23 and demonstrate
0:18:24 excellence
0:18:25 so they can make
0:18:26 their own bad porn.
0:18:31 Life is so rich.
0:00:06 It’s where precision meets performance.
0:00:11 It’s where doing it yourself meets showing the world what you’re capable of.
0:00:18 The all-new Acura ADX is a compact SUV crafted to take you where you need to go, without any compromises.
0:00:25 With available Google built-in, all-wheel drive, and a 15-speaker bang and all-of-some premium sound system,
0:00:31 the all-new ADX is crafted to be as alive to the world’s possibilities as you are.
0:00:34 The all-new ADX, crafted to match your energy.
0:00:38 Acura, precision crafted performance.
0:00:40 Learn more at Acura.com.
0:00:44 Now streaming.
0:00:46 What do you know about the happy face killer?
0:00:48 He’s my father.
0:00:50 It’s so good to see you, Missy.
0:00:52 Experience the thrilling new series.
0:00:54 He said he killed another woman.
0:00:56 Inspired by a true life story.
0:00:59 If I don’t deal with him, he will never leave us alone.
0:01:01 You don’t see how the words sing to you.
0:01:03 Annalee Ashford and Dennis Quaid star.
0:01:06 I am not responsible for what my dad did.
0:01:08 Let’s go on how you hoped.
0:01:12 Happy Face, new series now streaming exclusively on Paramount+.
0:01:17 There’s over 500,000 small businesses in BC and no two are alike.
0:01:18 I’m a carpenter.
0:01:19 I’m a graphic designer.
0:01:21 I sell dog socks online.
0:01:25 That’s why BCAA created one size doesn’t fit all insurance.
0:01:28 It’s customizable based on your unique needs.
0:01:33 So whether you manage rental properties or paint pet portraits, you can protect your small
0:01:36 business with BC’s most trusted insurance brand.
0:01:42 Visit bcaa.com slash small business and use promo code radio to receive $50 off.
0:01:43 Conditions apply.
0:01:47 I’m Scott Galloway and this is No Mercy, No Malice.
0:01:51 Young men face a variety of obstacles to thrive.
0:01:56 One of those obstacles, on-demand porn.
0:01:59 Porn, as read by George Hahn.
0:02:06 Quote, pornography is the McDonald’s of sex.
0:02:11 Fast, convenient, and utterly divorced from nutrition.
0:02:12 Unquote.
0:02:14 Anonymous.
0:02:18 I was at Mobile World Congress in Barcelona earlier this month.
0:02:25 A young man, married with two kids who founded a tech firm, approached me and asked if I’d mentor him.
0:02:29 I told him, boss, you should mentor me.
0:02:33 I mentor young men who are struggling and you are clearly thriving.
0:02:35 He said, I have an addiction.
0:02:38 I said, what’s the addiction?
0:02:40 Porn.
0:02:45 As soon as the words left his mouth, I sensed shame.
0:02:48 Within 15 seconds, he couldn’t look me in the eye.
0:02:51 And within 60 seconds, he’d fled.
0:02:57 All addictions are wrapped in some shame, but not in equal amounts.
0:03:02 Tell someone you’re sober from pills or booze and you’ll get praise and admiration.
0:03:06 The same is not true for people with a porn addiction.
0:03:13 In the past six months, a half-dozen men have told me their drug of choice is porn.
0:03:21 I suspect they aren’t outliers, but canaries sounding an alarm from the most opaque sector of the addiction economy.
0:03:32 At the turn of the millennium, there were no social media platforms, there wasn’t enough bandwidth to run video, and Amazon was a bookstore.
0:03:35 But online porn dates back to 1995.
0:03:47 By 2004, online porn was so ubiquitous that Avenue Q won six Tony Awards, including Best Musical, with a song called, wait for it,
0:03:49 The Internet is for Porn.
0:03:53 Nobody doubted that claim then, and nobody doubts it now.
0:03:56 But how much of today’s Internet is porn?
0:03:59 A. We’re not sure.
0:04:05 Some estimates put porn-related traffic as high as one-third of all Internet traffic.
0:04:12 Pornhub, the leading distributor of free, ad-supported porn, ranks in the top 20 websites globally.
0:04:16 Ten of its competitors rank in the top 100.
0:04:23 Porn addiction isn’t listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.
0:04:27 But in a study of 2,000 American adults,
0:04:34 11% of men and 3% of women reported some agreement with the statement,
0:04:36 I am addicted to pornography.
0:04:43 Fewer people than report alcohol abuse, but more than admit to a problem with gaming or gambling.
0:04:51 On my podcast, Dr. Anna Lemke, a professor of psychiatry at Stanford and the author of Dopamine Nation,
0:04:53 said that beginning in the early 2000s,
0:04:59 she saw warning signs in male patients who self-described as porn addicts
0:05:01 and cited the Internet as the culprit.
0:05:06 Since then, there’s been an escalation in people presenting with digital addictions.
0:05:14 Porn addiction may be difficult to isolate within the broader and more diffuse Internet addiction,
0:05:17 but compared to other Internet-enabled compulsions,
0:05:19 there’s relatively little peer-reviewed research.
0:05:25 My thesis? Few academics want to be known as the porn professor.
0:05:27 See above. Shame.
0:05:33 Humans came off the savanna hardwired for addiction.
0:05:37 The dopamine rush a hunter felt when taking down a mammoth
0:05:41 is neurologically the same feeling a gambler gets when betting.
0:05:47 Our instinct to gorge whenever we see food was honed during millennia of scarcity,
0:05:51 and it’s that same instinct the food industrial complex leverages
0:05:55 to keep people eating long past the point of being satiated.
0:05:58 Ours is an addiction economy.
0:06:03 The most valuable companies arbitrage the disparity
0:06:06 between our instincts and industrial production.
0:06:11 On the Internet, everyone has access to everyone,
0:06:16 and the digitization of a market results in a winner-take-most ecosystem.
0:06:22 Dating apps sort potential partners into a small group of haves
0:06:25 and a titanic group of have-nots.
0:06:31 On Hinge, the top 10% of men receive 60% of the likes.
0:06:35 The comparable figure for women is 45%.
0:06:41 Online porn exploits the lack of mating opportunities for men.
0:06:46 The most recent figures for A-Lo, the company behind Pornhub, Brazzers,
0:06:48 RedTube, U-Porn, and X-Tube,
0:06:53 showed 2018 revenue of $460 million,
0:06:56 with a profit margin of 50%.
0:07:05 Meanwhile, OnlyFans generated $6.6 billion in revenue in 2023.
0:07:10 The firm has more than 300 million registered accounts,
0:07:12 of which 70% are male.
0:07:17 On the other end of the Internet connection are 4.1 million creators,
0:07:19 84% of them women.
0:07:24 While OnlyFans is known for its subscription model,
0:07:29 one-off transactions are driving 88% of the revenue growth.
0:07:32 These tips are an arbitrage on the disparity
0:07:34 between the biological impulse to mate
0:07:37 and the lack of mating opportunities.
0:07:41 There are fewer economically and emotionally viable men,
0:07:45 and too few venues where a man can develop the skills
0:07:49 to express romantic interest while making a woman feel safe.
0:07:54 Pro tip, research shows women are attracted to men
0:07:56 who signal three primary attributes,
0:08:00 resources, intellect, and kindness.
0:08:04 In the VHS and DVD eras,
0:08:07 porn consumption was a wealth transfer from men
0:08:09 to the adult entertainment industry
0:08:11 and mom-and-pop video store owners.
0:08:14 In the OnlyFans era,
0:08:17 it’s a wealth transfer from hundreds of millions of men
0:08:21 to a handful of platforms and tens of thousands of women.
0:08:24 During its peak growth,
0:08:27 OnlyFans was adding the population of Atlanta
0:08:30 to its registered user base every day.
0:08:36 The average OnlyFans creator grosses roughly $1,800 annually.
0:08:40 One analysis found that creators in the top 0.1%
0:08:45 collect 100 times what those in the top 10% bring in.
0:08:52 One OnlyFans earner grossed $43 million in a single year.
0:08:56 A common query I receive at speaking gigs
0:08:58 is who is most vulnerable to AI.
0:08:59 Easy.
0:09:04 OnlyFans is ground zero for disruption from AI bots.
0:09:06 This is not a good thing,
0:09:09 as there will be less friction to becoming less social,
0:09:10 less mammalian.
0:09:14 We are what we pay attention to.
0:09:17 More research is needed, see above,
0:09:20 but one study found that porn consumption
0:09:23 explained 9% of the variation
0:09:25 in men’s sexual objectification of women.
0:09:28 Among men who preferred degrading pornography,
0:09:32 the variance increased to 20%.
0:09:36 A longitudinal survey of 962 Dutch adolescents
0:09:40 found exposure to porn among males
0:09:44 was a strong predictor of objectifying attitudes toward females.
0:09:50 We pathologize males attracted to misogynistic communities
0:09:54 as incels, potential mass shooters, and sex criminals,
0:09:57 but these men are statistical outliers.
0:09:59 However,
0:10:04 we may be evolving a new species of asocial, asexual male.
0:10:06 Homo Solo.
0:10:12 Homo Solo’s inability to develop romantic skills
0:10:15 means he’s primarily a danger to himself,
0:10:17 as he’s likely to be less happy,
0:10:18 earn less money,
0:10:20 and die sooner.
0:10:24 Homo Solo’s AI girlfriend never says no,
0:10:27 is never tired, busy, or in a bad mood.
0:10:28 In other words,
0:10:30 she’s not human.
0:10:33 And that obviates the risk of rejection
0:10:35 and the other complexities of real-life relationships.
0:10:39 The skills developed, or not,
0:10:41 in the pursuit of organic love
0:10:43 are key skills that serve men well
0:10:46 in a variety of environments for the rest of their lives.
0:10:49 We’ve been taught to believe
0:10:50 that the menace to society
0:10:52 was the fraternity alpha male.
0:10:54 It isn’t.
0:10:58 Society is being subjected to the sociopathy
0:10:59 of a bunch of tech CEOs
0:11:01 who, in my view,
0:11:03 did not get laid enough as young men.
0:11:06 Most leaders, however,
0:11:08 hone skills from mating
0:11:10 that have been key to their success.
0:11:14 Show me a guy who is competent in a bar,
0:11:15 and I’ll show you someone
0:11:17 who can be reasonable in a boardroom.
0:11:20 Show me a guy who objectifies women,
0:11:23 building an app that pits women against one another
0:11:26 based solely on their physical attributes,
0:11:28 and I’ll show you Mark Zuckerberg,
0:11:30 and an app whose algorithms
0:11:32 encourage girls to sexualize themselves
0:11:36 and young people to generally feel shittier about themselves.
0:11:41 Sexual desire is fire.
0:11:43 Without this fire,
0:11:45 our species goes out of business.
0:11:46 Unfortunately,
0:11:50 we’ve built a fire-retardant generation.
0:11:53 Zoomers prefer staying home
0:11:55 and scrolling to going out,
0:11:57 and when they do venture out,
0:11:59 they’re less likely to visit a bar,
0:12:00 reducing the chances
0:12:02 they’ll make a series of bad decisions
0:12:03 that might pay off.
0:12:04 By the way,
0:12:07 I believe the anti-alcohol movement
0:12:09 is second only to remote work
0:12:11 in the damage it’s doing to young people.
0:12:14 The risk to a 25-year-old liver
0:12:16 is dwarfed by the social isolation
0:12:18 and loneliness epidemic
0:12:20 plaguing America’s youth.
0:12:23 Think of the most important things in your life,
0:12:25 who you decided to have kids with
0:12:27 and the friends you still count on.
0:12:28 Then ask,
0:12:30 did alcohol lubricate
0:12:32 the often awkward formation
0:12:34 and cementing of those bonds?
0:12:37 Despite the risk
0:12:38 to our one and only God,
0:12:40 shareholder value,
0:12:42 one-third of workers
0:12:44 say they’ve had a workplace romance.
0:12:46 This is verboten,
0:12:48 but it shouldn’t be.
0:12:51 Work is a great place to find a mate.
0:12:53 The rules don’t apply, however,
0:12:55 if you’re the founder of a tech firm.
0:12:56 See above men
0:12:57 who didn’t get laid in college.
0:12:59 The culture wars
0:13:01 are another fire retardant.
0:13:03 Richard Reeves,
0:13:04 the president of the
0:13:06 American Institute for Boys and Men,
0:13:08 recently told Vox
0:13:11 that men know what not to do on a date.
0:13:13 Don’t mansplain,
0:13:14 don’t be toxic,
0:13:15 don’t be a predator,
0:13:15 don’t be a creep.
0:13:18 But they’re clueless
0:13:21 about what to do on a date.
0:13:25 We’ve pathologized the pursuit of sex
0:13:28 and made porn the path
0:13:31 of exponentially less resistance.
0:13:34 In news that won’t surprise anyone,
0:13:37 dampening the fire that fuels casual sex
0:13:39 and dating has coincided
0:13:41 with the U.S. birth rate
0:13:42 hitting an all-time low.
0:13:45 Global birth rates
0:13:46 are also plummeting.
0:13:47 According to Pew,
0:13:51 63% of men under 30
0:13:51 are single,
0:13:54 compared with 34% of women,
0:13:55 i.e. the women
0:13:57 are dating older guys.
0:13:59 More than half
0:14:00 of single Americans
0:14:01 say they’re not currently
0:14:02 looking for a relationship
0:14:04 or casual dates.
0:14:06 Another study found
0:14:08 the percentage of sexually inactive men
0:14:09 ages 18 to 24
0:14:12 increased from 19% in 2002
0:14:15 to 31% in 2018.
0:14:18 The percentage of sexually inactive
0:14:19 young women
0:14:21 increased from 15%
0:14:23 to 19%
0:14:24 over the same period.
0:14:28 I graduated, barely,
0:14:29 from UCLA
0:14:31 with a 2.27 GPA.
0:14:33 I did, however,
0:14:34 go on campus
0:14:35 almost every day.
0:14:37 Specifically,
0:14:38 I left my fraternity
0:14:40 to venture on campus
0:14:41 as UCLA
0:14:42 in the 80s
0:14:44 was like a Cinemax film
0:14:45 set in Brentwood.
0:14:46 I would hang
0:14:47 at North Campus
0:14:48 with friends
0:14:48 and,
0:14:49 to be blunt,
0:14:51 hope to meet someone
0:14:52 I might,
0:14:52 note,
0:14:53 might,
0:14:54 is doing a lot of work,
0:14:56 have sex
0:14:56 and establish
0:14:58 a relationship with.
0:14:58 If I’d had
0:14:59 on-demand porn
0:15:00 on my phone
0:15:01 and computer,
0:15:02 I’m not sure
0:15:04 I would have graduated
0:15:05 as I would have lost
0:15:06 some of the incentive
0:15:08 to venture on campus.
0:15:10 I just read
0:15:10 the previous sentence
0:15:12 and it sounds crass
0:15:12 and shallow,
0:15:14 but it’s also accurate.
0:15:16 And that’s the rub,
0:15:17 so to speak.
0:15:19 Porn can reduce
0:15:19 your ambition
0:15:20 to take risks,
0:15:22 become a better person,
0:15:23 and build a better life.
0:15:25 The best thing
0:15:25 in my life
0:15:27 is raising two men
0:15:28 with a competent,
0:15:29 loving partner.
0:15:30 The catalyst
0:15:32 for me risking
0:15:32 humiliation,
0:15:34 approaching her
0:15:36 at the Raleigh Hotel pool,
0:15:37 and introducing myself
0:15:38 wasn’t a desire
0:15:39 to someday qualify
0:15:41 for lower car insurance rates,
0:15:43 but the desire
0:15:43 slash hope
0:15:45 to have sex.
0:15:46 By the way,
0:15:47 our oldest son’s
0:15:49 middle name is Raleigh,
0:15:50 and I’m taking him
0:15:51 on a college tour
0:15:51 next week.
0:15:55 The key to success
0:15:55 isn’t getting
0:15:56 an investor,
0:15:57 employer,
0:15:58 or woman
0:15:59 to say yes.
0:16:01 It’s putting yourself
0:16:01 in situations
0:16:03 where you take risks,
0:16:04 get a no,
0:16:06 and realize
0:16:07 you’re fine,
0:16:08 i.e.,
0:16:09 build resilience.
0:16:11 And while it’s great
0:16:13 that social norms
0:16:14 have helped more women
0:16:15 feel comfortable
0:16:16 asking men out,
0:16:17 the default setting,
0:16:18 the expectation,
0:16:20 continues to be
0:16:20 that men
0:16:22 make the first move.
0:16:24 Among Zoomers,
0:16:25 one study found
0:16:26 men paid for all
0:16:27 or most
0:16:28 of a couple’s dates
0:16:30 90% of the time.
0:16:31 On first dates,
0:16:33 80% of men
0:16:34 expect to pay
0:16:36 and 55% of women
0:16:37 expect him to pay.
0:16:39 I’ve told my boys
0:16:40 that whenever they are
0:16:41 in the company of women,
0:16:42 they pay.
0:16:44 Can’t wait for the shit
0:16:45 on that one.
0:16:47 I coach a number
0:16:48 of young men.
0:16:49 It’s unrealistic
0:16:50 to tell them
0:16:51 to abstain from porn.
0:16:53 And there is evidence
0:16:54 that porn consumption
0:16:56 is fine in moderation.
0:16:57 The problem
0:16:59 is losing the fire,
0:17:01 the sexual desire
0:17:02 that inspires you
0:17:03 to be a better man,
0:17:04 to have a plan
0:17:06 for economic viability,
0:17:07 to be fit,
0:17:08 to demonstrate
0:17:08 kindness,
0:17:09 intelligence,
0:17:10 and a willingness
0:17:11 to take risks,
0:17:13 to build resilience
0:17:14 and develop the ability
0:17:16 to express romantic interest
0:17:17 while making someone
0:17:18 feel safe.
0:17:21 We have companies
0:17:22 with infinite resources
0:17:23 and command
0:17:25 of godlike technology
0:17:26 all attempting
0:17:28 to convince young men
0:17:28 they can have
0:17:30 a reasonable facsimile
0:17:31 of life on a screen
0:17:32 with an algorithm.
0:17:35 The most frightening data
0:17:36 I’ve seen recently
0:17:38 is that 51% of men
0:17:40 aged 18 to 24
0:17:42 have never asked
0:17:43 a woman out in person.
0:17:45 I find this
0:17:46 so fucking depressing.
0:17:49 Romantic comedies
0:17:49 are two hours,
0:17:50 not 15 minutes,
0:17:52 for a reason.
0:17:54 Relationships
0:17:54 and mating
0:17:55 are hard
0:17:57 and worth it.
0:18:00 We need more venues,
0:18:01 national service,
0:18:02 third places,
0:18:03 freshman seats,
0:18:04 the office,
0:18:05 where young people
0:18:06 can meet.
0:18:08 And men
0:18:08 need to recognize
0:18:10 there’s a profit motive
0:18:11 in dampening
0:18:12 the flames of desire
0:18:13 and motivation
0:18:14 to become better men.
0:18:15 In sum,
0:18:16 as I said
0:18:17 on Bill Maher’s show,
0:18:19 young men
0:18:20 need to get out
0:18:20 of the house,
0:18:22 take risks,
0:18:23 and demonstrate
0:18:24 excellence
0:18:25 so they can make
0:18:26 their own bad porn.
0:18:31 Life is so rich.
As read by George Hahn.
Porn
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